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  2. We have to lie in the bed that we make for ourselves, and she found that out the hard way.
  3. Chapter 1 Here we go again, another year of monotony. It was really the same thing year after year. After every break, the excited giggles turned into raucous laughter as more and more people trickled into the school. The crisp morning wasn’t chilly enough to dampen anyone’s spirits, as most of the guys wore shorts and tees, while the girls seemed to always push the boundaries in their scantily clad low cut tops. Not that they had any effect on me. It was cringe-inducing enough the way some of them bat their eyes and threw themselves all over guys, trying to flaunt their bikini tans achieved over the summer. I honestly thought most of them should just “get a room” which I mumbled moodily. “Not with you, you’re not exactly my type”, was the sarcastic reply to my rhetorical statement. My head snapped up to see Sam lazily meander towards me, while some of the girls fixated on his appealing gait. I grinned at him, my mood improved instantaneously as the longhaired blond approached me. Even though I found his messy but tame mop, deep green eyes and tan face littered with a handful of freckles attractive, I could never think of him that way. Sam had decided that ‘We’re going to be best friends’ on his first day at a new school in fourth grade, and so the self-fulfilling prophecy was born. It was hard to separate us, both in school and out, where we practically lived at each other’s houses. ‘Attached at the hip’ was the way our mums described us - such a mum thing to say, I mean, I guess it was accurate enough though. But be that as it may, we were polar opposites in almost every single way. Sam found himself living up to stereotypes by spending Sunday arvos at the beach most weeks, to ‘catch both waves and chicks’ as he put it – I rolled my eyes at that one – he was more likely to be dumped by both; the waves and the chicks. That reply had earned me a sharp smack to the back of the head at the time, his quick reflexes gave him the upper hand and he knew it. He tried to hide his smirk with an offended glare, but failed miserably as we both relaxed into chuckles, our usual playful banter saturated the memory. Yet that was where the stereotypes stopped. No, (thankfully) Sam wouldn’t end up in a pimped out hippy van driving coast to coast finding the best swell, smoking the best weed, being a general free spirit and fucking anything with a pulse. As if his looks, personality and charm weren’t enough to get him anyone he pleased, he already had a position held for him at the top university in the country for Veterinarian Science. To say there were girls hanging off his every word would be an understatement, they were eating out of his hands. Did that make me appealing to girls? The answer to that question is a resounding yes, if by yes you mean passing crude hand written notes to Sam for girls who claimed to be too timid to do it themselves. So it was safe to say that yeah, people knew Sam and I were friends, but the note passing grew pretty old pretty fast, which had Sam chuckling as I told him exactly where he could shove the future notes received from potential suitors. I, on the other hand, paled in comparison – literally. My body couldn’t seem to learn how to tan despite the amount of time spent outdoors. I was slightly taller than what could be considered average I guess, with medium length dark hair, and boring grey eyes according to the reflection of the car window I happened to catch my appearance in this morning. I mean who had grey eyes, for crying out loud. Whatever, I didn’t care; I told myself I wasn’t concerned with anyone who had anything to do with this dull, dreary prison sentence masquerading as a high school. “Well look who decided to grace us with his presence early for the first time in his life” I recounted to the non-existent audience. “Yeah, it was either that, or have to walk 5 k’s to school, Mum’s starting her new job today” He delicately explained, yawning theatrically. “Big night huh? How was your night with Lindsay… oh sorry, Mindy… no wait, Cindy… or was it –“ I was cut off by quick jab to the ribs. “Becky and I had an amazing time last night” he recalled, unabashed. “Splendid…” I trailed off. And we left it there since he knew I didn’t really care, and why should I? I mean I didn’t want to have to remember a new name every week did I? And I knew he didn’t really care, I mean it was high school for Christ’s sake, why did every single girl think that a high school relationship would last the weekend or even the summer. They all seemed to hear wedding bells chiming instead of the less than committal words coming from Sam’s mouth, I’d heard and seen it happen before. They always seemed to act as if the carpet was pulled out from under them at the last possible moment, ending in a heap of disappointment and tears, when, in fact, there had been no metaphorical carpet to begin with. How naïve. Everyone knew high school relationships weren’t real, they didn’t last, and they sure as hell weren’t true love, or whatever the sappy words used to describe romance were in this day and age. “So did you…” Sam insinuated, and wiggled his eyebrows mischievously like an old school villain. I punched his arm in what could be construed as a playful manner, but made sure to put a bit of kick behind it. “For your information, no, I did not.” I nonchalantly responded while Sam tried to keep the wicked grin plastered on his face through my ‘accidentally too-hard’ punch. But he already knew that. He knew I did not see anyone, have not seen anyone, will not see anyone, at least until I get out of this hell hole I told myself. But I appreciated the effort. We knew each other well enough that he knew by trying to include me in his playful albeit highly invasive banter, it was his way of showing that he cared, and wanted me to feel included. It was his way of showing that even though he knew I was gay, it didn’t matter to him in the slightest. It was the fierce loyalty of our friendship in the first place that allowed me to feel comfortable enough to tell him. The significance of him asking, however crudely, if I got lucky on my summer break, was a doorway for me to further discuss anything personal with him. He knew he was the only person I’d told, and he wasn’t fazed by it in the slightest. “But you wouldn’t even tell me if you did, you prude” He teased back light-heartedly. That struck a bit of a nerve, I faltered in my step slightly and he noticed. I wasn’t a prude, nor was I being noble and ‘saving myself’ whatever that meant, but I just wasn’t as liberal as Sam was about this kind of thing, and he knew that, and liked to capitalise on it. It’s alright though, I knew how to shut him up. “Oh so you’d like to know all the details like when I decide to stick my dick right in hi–“ “Aww shit Nick, I don’t need all the details man.” He interrupted quickly. His hands hovered near his ears as if he were about to cover them and start yelling to drown out my overly descriptive phantom lay. I smirked viciously at him knowing I had won this round and we both relaxed into an easy laughter. We split up as the bell rang to go to our separate classes, Sam to Biology, while I wandered in the opposite direction to Modern History. I was more into the humanities side of things, but history could be just as uninteresting as this school was – even more so in some cases. I hoped today was not one of those cases. I mean, how could history even be modern? That’s an oxymoron in and of itself, and we hadn’t even made it to English class. I waded through the sea of bodies and desks to make my way to the back of the class, where I could zone out and not have to think. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and yes, I know it’s the first day of class but seriously, I mean history with Mr Sanders was probably the one thing worse than death itself. He was probably old enough to have experienced and written the whole course on his own and had clearly won first prize in the country’s most monotonous voice contest. It was almost as if he aimed to see how many students he could put to sleep each week, then go home proud that he had a high score. On Mondays in particular, he knew he could get a few bonus points due to the big weekends the night before, and first day of the year was like Christmas to him, since clearly nobody was in the mood to learn and were all still dreaming about summer spent at the beach. Oh no, he just got that twinkle in his eye, the one that appears when he thinks he says something exciting or that we should take more notice of. I used this moment to silently slam my head into the desk a few times, under the presumption that if I was concussed, surely I couldn’t be allowed to stay in class right? As I lifted my gaze I saw the reason for his excitement: another addition to the class. Great. This would be the first time something new happened in history. Surely he would attribute this to his clearly superior teaching methods of referring to his cat Mr Snuggles, I shuddered internally, as if it were an autonomous state, where his other cats, God forbid I didn’t give a shit what their names were, frequently made cameo appearances as Russia, China and USA. Simply fantastic. My eyes traced the path made by the newcomer. It was clear the black haired figure was a meathead, with shoulders like that I’m surprised he could fit through the doorway. I snorted at my own joke, which drew a few looks from my neighbours. The ever-gaudy sorry excuse for a school shirt pulled tight against his wide frame as he took his seat gracefully in the second row. Gracefully? How did someone who clearly had the IQ of a piece of toast move gracefully? More importantly, how did someone with a frame like that fit between the chair and the desk. Oh well, time to return to my post wake stupor. I pondered thoughtfully and rehashed my morning arrival here, where I didn’t notice any other unfamiliar faces. It would be unusual to have any people arriving for the final year of classes before venturing out into the real world, simply due to the hassle of a move which would affect studying. Which made sense I guess in his case since there wouldn’t be much studying done at all, unless it was standing in front of a full-length mirror in the gym, I thought sourly. Now that would be a funny conundrum. I wonder how he would read the books? Would he have to turn the book to face the mirror so he could still look at himself the whole time while ‘studying’. An irritated noise jarred my conjured image momentarily. But then surely he would have to read the words backwards right? I mean everything was reversed in a mirror. A not so quiet cough interrupted me once more. Couldn’t they keep it down? The image of this meathead standing in front of a full length mirror, book in hand and eyebrows crushed at an impressive angle in an attempt to read backwards had me chuckling to myself. “Would you care to share with the class what you find so amusing about not answering during roll call Mr Hunter?” Mr Sanders’ voice cut harshly through my dream state reality. I had enough shame to be abashed enough to stutter back a hurried “Nothing Sir”, yet in the brief moment where my eyes flickered between the general direction of the whiteboard back down to my table, I saw the bright blue gaze pierce my dull grey one, and I could have sworn I saw a shadow of a smirk on the new guy’s face. Great. Simply fantastic. Now I’d gone and made an ass of myself in front of the class, and the new guy noticed too. Not that I cared though, I took pride in not giving a flying fuck about what people though about me, yet it was still mildly irritating. Since I was now at least feigning paying attention to the class, I noticed the name that stood out from the others that I was already familiar with. “Jacob Matthews?” murmured the old geyser “Here” came the confident reply. Confident? Well of course you’re confident you dumb idiot, anyone would be if they could run head first into a brick wall where the wall would be the one coming off second best. I don’t know why I felt justified in being annoyed, but I felt like I was being rubbed the wrong way. The rest of the class continued without incident, meaning that it was back to analysing Mr Snuggles’ reign over eastern Europe while my eyes glazed over as I assumed one of my favourite upright sleeping positions. For the uninitiated, it involves propping your elbow onto the table, your hand under your chin, with your palm cupping your cheek, where the downward force of your jaw locks your elbow in place. This is known as what I like to call the least effort paying attention pose, it has close to no drawbacks, unless you accidentally do drift off for a bit, and you’re sitting next to your idiot friend Sam, who decides to quickly shove your elbow off the desk, resulting in you face-desking yourself, leaving you with a nosebleed. Speaking of which, I still hadn’t got him back for that one… The end of class meant that my one hour of undiluted misery was up for the day with more promises of Mr Snuggles’ adventures in the next lesson. Since I was one of the last people to file out into the corridor, it meant that it was already teeming with students everywhere. I wove my way intricately through, giving an occasional nod or a ‘hey’ where deemed appropriate as I saw familiar faces pass me in the congested hall. Soon enough I was at my locker, absent-mindedly twisting the combination lock, which had stuck with me through 5 years of high school so far. It’s battered face spun easily in my practiced hands, after memorising the combination on the first day all those years ago, it was almost perfect muscle memory which got the sturdy lock open for me today. I could probably do it with my eyes closed by now I thought, as I reached into my uncharacteristically tidy locker to grab my books for whatever torture I had to endure next. I relished the moment gazing into the neat space, knowing that in about one week it would be packed full of crap, with mess spilling out of it at every possible chance. By the time I was done with my locker, the halls had emptied significantly which made me one of the few people left remaining milling about before class. I strode quickly towards the other side of the school not wanting to be slapped with a detention on the first day of class. While scanning quickly down one of the adjacent corridors I saw that familiar blond mop, a sorry excuse of a haircut if you ask me, and with the recent memory of the aforementioned face-desking I had payback on my mind. I switched into stealth mode and I slowly slunk towards him. This was perfect. His back was to me, he was walking leisurely while I was gaining pace, my typically echoing footsteps muted by my lithe but careful strides. As I grew close my pace increased in tandem with my sense of impending justice and I smiled inwardly. When I was a few steps away, I dropped my shoulder and sprung, arcing ever so majesti– WHACK. Maybe it was more of a thump but that’s the sound my face made as I hit the solid surface and literally bounced backwards landing on my ass. Could this day get any worse? Yes. Yes it could. I heard a deep chuckle and my eyes snapped up to meet those piercing blue ones, which were becoming irritatingly familiar. I guessed that the throaty laughter probably had something to do with the palate of appalled, shocked and surprised looks painted on my face simultaneously. I ignored the proffered hand to help me up as I scrambled to my feet. His eyebrows rose at that, as if he were offended at my rudeness. My rudeness? He was the one who just made me make a fool out of myself. He was the one who wasn’t watching where he was going and he has the nerve to look slightly offended? I mean who in their right mind doesn’t pay attention when they come around a blind corner in this shitty excuse of a corridor. Where the hell did he get the idea of being offended from? If anything that was my right! I brushed my hands down my clothes once to straighten out my now creased shirt, as he shrugged non-committedly and waltzed away with a Cheshire cat-like smile plastered on his face and laughter echoing in his eyes, as if he were about to explode into hysterics. That was twice now in the period of an hour I’d been laughed at, and by no less than the new kid. New guy I should say, he could hardly be considered a kid. It seemed Sam had escaped his karma payout for now, or rather I’d subbed in for him to take a strong dose of instant karma, for no apparent reason. Life was so unfair. I sighed as I opened the door, definitely late this time. “Hurry up and take a seat we’ve alre – Oh my god Nicholas are you alright?” was shot at me. I followed the eyes pinned on me by the whole class down to my chest, half expecting the have a knife sticking out from my stomach the way some of their eyes were bugging out. Wondering what on earth could have got that reaction I saw that it indeed did look as if I had been stabbed, there was blood, lots of it. I lifted my hand to my mouth in a silent exclamation only to notice my hand was now bloodied from a consistent river of blood flowing out from my nose. Bloody nosebleeds. I used to get them all the time. Not this shit again. See, I have this thing with luck. I have the worst luck ever. You know Murphy’s law right? Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Yeah. Well that law was made to recount my whole life. I was the sole reason that that saying existed in the first place. So I’m not sure why I didn’t suspect something like this happening, I mean it was the first day of school and clearly I hadn’t got my full dose of first day bad luck yet. You think I’d be immunised by now, but apparently not. “What happened?!” “He probably ran head first into a brick wall to save us from having to put up with his presence” snickered Tiffany from the front to her friends. Well, she was half right about running into the brick wall at least, but I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. Let’s just say Tiffany was still bitter about losing Sam and had made it her life goal to take it out on me for some reason. In that messed up mind of hers she thinks that Sam didn’t want to be with her because his best friend, yours truly, wasn’t too fond of her. Well I guess she was kind of right about that as well, but she deserved it. I mean she was just a miserable bitch who ordered everyone around to do her bidding. A clear case of Princess Bitchface Syndrome. No I’m not joking, it’s a real thing, Google it. If Murphy’s law was loosely based on my life, then Princess Bitchface Syndrome was her autobiography. She thought that having a pretty face, big tits and a flaunting her dad’s money meant that everyone had to be instantly attracted to her. She may have also taken offence at the fact that I never really expressed any interest towards wanting her while she was with Sam. Yeah, I know. She was the kind of girl who even when she had a boyfriend or whatever she still needed people to want her, if they were guys; or to be jealous of her if they were girls. So in other words your typical high school self entitled ‘popular’ girl. I mean we all knew where she would end up right? Clear daddy issues, a ‘look-at-me-I’m-a-princess’ attitude and with a name like Tiffany, Candy, or Brittney she was heading straight to the life of being a stripper, no stage name needed. I do concede that she would probably make a lot of money, since it seems to be directly proportional to the size of your tits in that business, but I’d settle for that knowing that I’d been right about her dull future. “Uhh, I’m not sure” I responded to the teacher who, in her concern for me didn’t hear Tiffany’s crude remark. “If you’re alright to walk then, make your way up to the office to get cleaned up. Do you need someone to help you?” I briefly schemed about taking Tiffany to ‘help’ me and ‘accidentally’ bleeding all over her what I was sure was meant to be designer outfit, but even the satisfaction I would get out of that wouldn’t be worth having to put up with her miserable company for the 2 minute walk. “I’ll manage” I called over my shoulder as I shuffled from the class, hearing Tiffany and her posse laugh at me on the way out. Whatever, I got some satisfaction from the fact that while my bleeding was a spontaneous event, hers was a once a month occurrence. I managed to wash most of the blood from my face and waited until the bleeding stopped while at the bubblers, then grudgingly made my way to the office. I got the same shocked expressions and words as before, as I mumbled out some crappy generic excuse, while they fetched me a shirt to wear in place of the one that more accurately represented a CSI crime scene. Of course it was too big, and smelt bad, but I donned it nevertheless thinking of the argument I’d get at home from mum for ruining a shirt on my first day back. I know she’d attempt to salvage it with bucket loads of bleach, as we couldn’t afford to buy another one, and I’d get chewed out for not taking more care, but secretly she’d just be glad I was ok. The look Sam gave me as we met at lunch was confused, but turned entertained as I explained why I was wearing a shirt about 3 sizes too big for me that reeked of old socks. He ended up snorting milk out his nose in a fit of laughter as I recounted the sequence of events once more and I found myself chuckling slightly too. Could you have a worse first day back at school? No. But at least it was still bringing amusement to some people. Would it get worse? No. I mean it couldn’t get worse than this, right? Wrong.
  4. kbois

    Chapter 13

    Yeah...I can always do pizza! Lol
  5. Happy Tuesday!!!

  6. NimirRaj

    Chapter 68

    The conversation between Stef & Will was unexpected as while the content wasn’t remotely surprising I wasn’t certain Stef would be so frank and open about it with Will. His depression or disgust with getting older is somewhat understandable though as Will said his life is pretty good as is so hopefully he’ll be able to get passed it without causing too much drama during his extremely late mid-life crisis. I’m glad Will is having fun, even if it temporarily reminded him of Zach, though the way Patrick was directing him makes it seem like he’d get annoyed quickly if he spent too much time around him. Will is too independent to want someone to tell him what to do which inevitably rubs him the wrong way though Patrick wasn’t being completely unreasonable. I still find myself siding with JJ even if his alarm move was a little petty...if only because I probably would have done the same 😂 but I hope he’s not too bitchy when Stef apologizes to him. I mean despite Stef and Will’s negative view of him I actually think JJ has matured as well as honestly is oddly the more sensible one in this situation so I’d hate to see him make himself look childish as well as play into their view of him by not accepting Stef’s apology graciously. I wish these brothers could bond for once but they’re too different so they need to find common ground first...other than having sex with the same guy. 😂 As time passes I’m sure they’ll eventually become closer though at this point it’s hard to imagine.
  7. Kaimuki

    Chapter 68

    Steph facing his long overdue midlife crisis and not realizing by going head to head with it he is continuing to be who he is. Love it.
  8. Today
  9. centexhairysub

    Chapter 37

    WOW, great chapter, can't wait to see what happens next.
  10. northie

    Rainbow Colours

    Thank you! You are very kind to say so. The third volume will appear some time later next year.
  11. Letter 67 18 March 2016 Dear C, A few days ago I received your email telling me you won't be coming to see me anytime soon as you are still too weak to travel here. I totally understand this babe... I don't know why I called you babe. I'm sorry. And I am sorry you are feeling weak. I wish you could just recover as soon as possible. And have all of this behind you. Reading your email made me upset. It's funny how your ice cold words can make my heart crack and bleed. The way you constructed your sentences and your use of words are very cruel and calculated. Full of hate. Calling me greedy and focused only on my own benefits is extremely unfair and painful. I explained to you why I never told you about my relationship with Roland and how our relationship ended way before I even met you. How he meant nothing to me and that the only way we were connected was through my passport so he could become British citizen. And me, naive idiot agreed to it, because he was begging me. I dismissed the fact he was cheating on me and I decided to help him. That's all. But I understand that you finding all this out from Kasia and not me was a shocker. And I totally understand that. But I apologized so many times. I never told you about him, because I was fucking scared I would lose you, if you knew I still had some unfinished business with that guy. But calling me greedy? Doing things for my own benefits? C, I could have easily left you the moment I found out you were diagnosed with cancer. I spent every day by your hospital bed. I even put my case court on the side and I focused all my energy on you. Even though my solicitor kept telling me to focus on the case. You were way more important. So yes, call me greedy and tell me I only wants benefits. I also sensed that you in fact, were enjoying the fact I am in prison. You called me a fucking mess and it almost felt like you didn't care I was innocent anymore. Even though you might be too weak to travel, but you have plenty of energy to treat me like shit. And to humiliate me. Seems like you are on the mission to tell as many people as possible that you left me and that I am here. But you know what? I still do not regret the fact that I asked God or whatever there is to take me here so you can get better. Stupid me you'd say. But fuck this. I am who I am. I never wanted to reply to your email at first, it was too painful. But now I think you should get my replay. I will not be emotional. I will not be shaky. I will go straight to the point and answer all the questions you asked. I will never let you know how much I am hurting. I know it would make you happy. I know you will soon find someone (or maybe you already have) and I wish you all the best. Find your happiness with a guy of whom you can truly love and stay with him through thick and thin. And if he ever loves you half as much as I did (and still fucking do) then I know you are in good hands. My affair with this thing called "love" has come to an end. I am no longer planning to love again. Love is like a disease to me. It poisons your body, heart, your mind. It brings nothing but bitterness and pain. It teases you with its sweetness at the beginning to stub you in your back when you least expect it. I was your biggest disappointment you said in your email. If I made you feel that way, I am sorry. Maybe you are right? Maybe I have become just a disappointment to everybody.
  12. centexhairysub

    Chapter 68

    Loved the conversation between Stef and Will; I thought that might be the issue with Stef but truly believe he will work it out. A lot seemed to get covered in this chapter; and seemed to set up even more in the future to look forward to. Sort of wanted to see the scene where Stef apologized to JJ, have a feeling that would have been funny. Good flow to this story since the pick up, but I can see rough seas ahead, perhaps...
  13. well i fully understand Cole , but i really feel sorry for his mother 🥺 EDIT : i’m no more sorry for her after the following chapters 😡
  14. bellisima


    I knew you'd had some type of experience. The man you wish to honor would be proud of you.
  15. Yes, both Cole and Graham have a lot to hate their mother for, but since Cole was older and suffered the most than he has an additional incentive. Thanks for the feedback.
  16. Daddydavek

    Chapter 33

    Hopefully DJ's smile can help granny's health make a change for the better.
  17. Thanks for the feedback, Danilo, but I think we're way past the point where I could do a spin off on that. However, I am getting feedback about the idea of Trey narrating Next Generation - Book 4.
  18. mfa607

    Chapter 13

    A great date! Pizza and hot sex are always better than a night out! 😜
  19. Doug Spencer

    Chapter 36

    Even if they ARE straight! Lol. I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of those boys.
  20. A wonderful chapter and a joy to read. The conversation between the two was so sweet and their thoughts still so young, very gorgeous! I am curious to read more. 🙂 Thank you for sharing. Muha
  21. So good to see that Tyson is likely to have a long and happy future. With Masha & Vlad by his side, I'm sure True Tyson will be able to dispense with both Scared & Angry Tyson.
  22. Oooh, Hymenaios was given high hopes of his love being returned, and then immediately proved his words about being protective and daring all. But what will Kathros do now? Will she keep the secret of her rescuer, hero and love?
  23. Timejun

    Chapter 36

    Oh man, such an awesome chapter. Good storyline, and a great length...of story not Brandon's dick. Lol
  24. November 1988 While the two sat at the kitchen table sharing dessert a very nervous Gary who was now in tears said: “Will, if I tell you something that may be shocking will it be totally confidential. If so what I tell you is something that has troubled me for years and that I have never shared with another person, no one. Dan is a real friend. I have never been as close to anyone as I am to Dan. But I am afraid that if he learns my secret our friendship will be over. You must promise that what I tell you is just between us. Otherwise I will have to continue to carry this burden myself.” Will gave his assurance of confidentiality and Mr. Martin, the handsome sixth grade teacher began his confession: “When I was growing up the church was the center of my family’s life. We never missed a Sunday mass. I had my first communion when I was eight. Until I was old enough to go alone every Saturday afternoon my father took me to confession. I was probably the best little boy in the parish and never had any real sins to confess. They were probably sins like stealing a cookie or telling my mother my tummy hurt so I could get out of some chore. The priest always absolved me of my sins and told me to do some Hail Marys. At about the age of ten I had training to be an altar boy. By the time I was twelve the priest told me I was the best altar boy he had ever had. He suggested to my parents that I receive special training so I could serve when the Bishop visited as well as on high holy days. Of course my parents were thrilled that their young son had been chosen. One afternoon on a hot, humid summer day I was helping the priest whose name I will not mention straighten up the sacristy (a room in the church where the priest prepares for the service). I somehow spilled communion wine on him. I now realize he orchestrated the spillage. I was mortified that I had stained his robe. He smiled and assured me there was no problem. He would put on a fresh robe and send that one to the cleaners. The robe he was wearing had no buttons, just a sash holding it closed. He asked me to help him remove it. I undid the sash and the robe opened. He was naked. He smiled at me. ‘On hot days I try to stay as cool as possible.’ He then reached down and scratched his balls. ‘Don’t be ashamed to look. I am no different than any other man. The only difference between you and me is that I have bigger hands, bigger feet and bigger this.’ As he took his dick in hand. I was mesmerized. This was the first adult dick I had seen up close. I had seen my father’s and other men’s but only for seconds when we changed into swimming suits at the bathhouse at the lake. I just stared at it. He was a good looking man of about 40. The dick I saw at age ten was impressive. When soft it was bigger than most of the adult men I got glimpse of at the bathhouse.” “The following week he asked if I would like to practice wearing a cooler altar boy robe. I agreed and we both got naked and put on our robes. He looked at my dick and congratulated me on having a very handsome penis. Of course he had admonished me to keep our special outfits our secret. At confession he would ask me if I had told anyone about our special robes. One thing led to another and within a month we were masturbating together. He would shoot his load and I would just end with a good feeling. He explained that when I shot like him I would truly be a man. A month later we were jerking each other off. This continued and by the time I was sixteen I was looking forward to our encounters. By that time mine had grown larger than his. He would measure me and comment on how big I was compared to the average. He showed me statistics that indicated he was just normal and I was in the top 10%. Once when my parents went away for a weekend he offered to let me stay at a room in the clergy house where he lived. You can imagine what happened that weekend. By now I was totally under his control. The reason he had such control was because I really wanted it. At some point he sucked me off and I learned to reciprocate.” “Then on my eighteenth birthday I suddenly had remorse. I guess I assumed it was wrong and stopped seeing him. He called me at home and I made excuses why I would not see him. I never told him outright that I had decided it was wrong. That is when I decided to go away to college. I could have avoided getting student loans if I had stayed home and commuted to Kent State University but chose Bowling Green State University which was three hours away. While I was at university my parents inherited my grandparent’s home in Wadsworth and decided to move there and sell our Canton home. I have not returned to Canton since. I graduated from a Catholic high school and really wanted to attend the fifth reunion of my class but did not go as I feared that priest would be there.” “Now I feel like such damaged goods and I am ashamed to have a relationship with a decent person. The priest is the only person I have ever been with in a sexual way. Since then the only relief I have gotten is with my hand. When I do that I have great guilt. Who would want a damaged person like me?” By the time Gary finished his confession Will was red with rage. “My friend. You did absolutely nothing wrong. What that pedophile priest did to you when you were twelve years old is criminal. What happened later was just natural. Starting when I was about twelve I enjoyed checking out other guys. On hot summer days boys and some men would cool off by swimming in a dammed up section of a creek near our farm. Today, eighty years later I can still describe all of those dicks. You went from being abused by a pedophile to doing what boys do. You did NOTHING wrong. The first part was an attack by a sick person and later just doing what comes naturally. I am positive that no one would consider you ‘damaged goods’. However, I don’t believe you alone can turn off those thoughts that torment you.” “I have a suggestion. I have a good friend who I totally trust. He is an experience counselor. Also he is gay and at the age of 70 has had a very active and satisfying sex life with his male lover. Please talk to him. He will give you assurances that you are the good person I know you are. May I call him? He lives in Pleasant Valley, an easy drive from here. Actually he was the owner of this farm which he inherited from his Uncle who died in World War II on D-Day.” “If you think it would help I am willing to talk to him.” “Before I call him there is one thing you should know. He is a retired Catholic priest. He will be enraged when he hears you story and will understand the situation much better than most would.” “You actually want me to talk to a priest? I don’t think so. It would bring back too many bad memories.” “Please say yes. You must get these demons out of yourself.” Gary reluctantly agreed and since it was only 7pm Will immediately called Father Sean. As expected Sean was outraged when he heard Will’s summary. He told Will that as a retired priest he had no duties until Sunday morning when he was saying mass for a friend who was visiting a sick parent. He would gladly talk to the young man. Since he considered Will a close friend he could talk man to man and said, “What the fuck, why don’t I come down now. I assume you will have a bed available for me. I could be there in less than an hour.” Fifty minutes later the handsome Sean McFadden walked into the farmhouse that he once owned. Will suggested they sit at the kitchen table. His reasoning being that this would be an informal and nonthreatening format. Gary immediately felt at ease with the handsome 70 year old. He would not have known he was a priest either by his clothes of demur. As Gary related the same scenario he had earlier Sean got more and more agitated. Finally when he concluded Sean explained, “If I had my way we would go to Canton with a hedge shears and cut off the bastard’s dick. Unfortunately your story is not unique and I am aware of more than one pedophile priest who when discovered was either sent to another parish where he continued his abuse or to a psychiatric program to cure him. After the ‘cure’ some were permitted to return to the ministry and some of those went back to their old ways. Someday this attitude of some bishops that the reputation of the church is more important than the lives of children will catch up with them followed by a national scandal.” “Gary, you did nothing wrong at the age of twelve. As you grew older and entered puberty when you sexual awaking begins you responded as your body, not your brain, but your body would. This was a man, a man you trusted, a man that your parents encouraged you to trust that put you in a situation that even by the age of sixteen you were not equipped to handle. By then it felt good and the other was a man of God, the person you confessed your sins to. What he was doing was wrong. Not only was it wrong in the eyes of God but it was a criminal act against the law for which he could have been sent to jail. Today you have the right to report him to the police and testify against him in court. While the testimony of one young man may not be proof for a jail sentence others might come forward. But you will not and should not do it. Even though you are innocent, totally innocent, in the eyes of some you are tainted. A school district does not want a sixth grade teacher, one who teaches twelve year olds, who was molested at that age. So, although you are a victim we will keep it a secret. There is absolutely no need for anyone else to know this. I will write a letter to the bishop and tell him what I know and that I learned in confession. I assume the bishop will do nothing. If he has received other complaints he might do something. Whatever he does I know he will protect the reputation of the church and even if there is some level of punishment it will never be made public.” “Sorry for the ranting. Now it is time for healing. Once again I will say, You did nothing wrong over those six years, You have absolutely no reason to be ashamed, Neither Will nor I are shocked or surprised by you reactions over those six years, Between Will and I we have over 160 years of experience. During that time we have certainly as they say ‘Been there – Done that’. Accept yourself as the beautiful person you are – both inside and outside. Could we three stand and embrace the new Gary Martin.” The three men stood. Sean and then Will walked over to the trembling young man. Sean wrapped an arm around one side of him and Will the other side. Then the two older men wrapped their free arms around each other. As they stood embraced tears ran down all cheeks. Then as Will and Sean pressed their cheeks against Gary’s he quietly utter, “I will not let the evils of one man continue to haunt me. I will never forget them, but I will overcome them. I will heal. Thank you both.” With that he squeezed both his friends. 93 year old Will, although strong for his age stifled a cry of pain as the strong young man over with enthusiasm tightly embraced him. Then Will spoke, “Gary, what you have told us will be held in strict confidence. But, I do think you need to tell Dan your anxieties. I know he loves you. He has shared with me his passion for you and his concerns of your lack of intimacy. It was because of his concerns that I suggested we all go to the cinema and see My Beautiful Launderette. Following the movie we had a discussion in the diner. When I asked for your opinion about the relationship of the two men you said: ‘They needed each other and I am happy they found each other.’ That brief comment confirmed our assumption that you approved of man to man relationships. But, even though you seemed to approve of such relationships we could not understand why you were so emotionally distant. Your discussing your experience with the pedophile priest will explain to Dan why you have acted toward him the way you have. I know that to him it will be a great relief to understand your feelings. Sharing with him will be probably be the most difficult fifteen minutes of your life – But, that will be followed by a lifetime of happiness.” “Will, I know you are right. It will be difficult. “ “I suggest we call Dan and leave a message saying that I need help tomorrow morning and ask him to come by at 9:00. Tomorrow, Saturday, you both have the day off. When he arrives I’ll tell him that my friend and I are going out to breakfast and to run errands. I will not introduce Sean as a priest, just a friend. I suggest you two sit here at the kitchen table, it is less formal. I know Dan well enough to believe he will have only love for you and disgust for the pedophile. The only emotions he will show are love and a tremendous amount of relief. Why don’t you stay the night? You may sleep in one of the rooms upstairs. Sean will be staying downstairs in my bed. When Sean and I return from our errands tomorrow and if we see both your cars in the driveway but do not see you we will assume you are continuing your discussion upstairs.” “I’ll call my parents and tell them I am studying with a friend and since it will be late may stay overnight.” Will then announced, “It’s still early and we need a change of atmosphere. Let’s play Scrabble. You will get triple point value for using any word that you would not want to share with your mother.” Later as Gary showered he was tempted to do what he usually did when he showered, wank-off. He resisted the temptation that his dick was pleading for as his heart told him, ‘Save it for Dan’. As he crawled under the covers naked he visualized his friend as he saw him in the shower at the YMCA. He had noticed Dan start to bone up and chuckled to himself as he remembered watching that fetching ass hurry out of the shower area. By now his dick was at total hardness oozing precum. He could no longer resist the temptation and was wanking while visualizing his ‘Love’. He stifled a scream of pleasure as loads of cream shot onto his chest and lips. Cleaning himself with the tissues of the night table he immediately fell into a deep sleep. “Gary, Gary.” A confused young man opened his eyes. “Gary, its 8:00. Dan will be here in an hour. You better get up.” He then realized where he was and saw Will standing over him. “Wow, that was the soundest and most peaceful sleep I have ever had.” He then pulled the covers back and stood. “Holy shit,” Will exclaimed as he without shame ogled the young body. Also without shame the gorgeous Gary stood with a magnificent woodie pointing his magnum dick at a 45 degree angle. Feeling totally at ease with the old man and considering he had bared his soul the evening before he had no qualms about sharing the sight of his body this morning. “I knew you were handsome. But never did I believe to see such beauty. The sight of you is making my old dick respond as it has not in years. Get dressed, the coffee is ready.” Then to Gary’s embarrassment Will said as he eyed the pile of tissues on the floor next to the bed, “I see you had sweet dreams.” As Will walked out of the room Gary chided himself, ‘Why are you embarrassed? Will was just enjoying my pleasure while thinking of what he would have done at my age’. Sean and Will kept the conversation light as the nervous Gary sat at the table. They asked about his graduate course and recounted stories about their university course work many years earlier. A confused Dan walked into the house. He had seen Gary’s and a stranger’s cars in the driveway and wondered why. “Good morning officer of the law. Sit down and share breakfast with Gary. My friend Sean and I are going out to breakfast and then have errands to run. We will not be back for a couple of hours.” As the two departed a stunned Dan stood in the kitchen. Gary then got up, poured coffee for his friend and placed a cereal box on the table. “Sit down. I have something to tell you. There is no easy way to do this so I will just ‘bite the bullet’ and begin.” During the next moments every emotion possible ran through Dan. All centered on the fact that he was going to lose his friend. Gary then told his story as he had confessed to Will and then Sean. He continued, “Both Will and Sean assured me that I did nothing wrong as a child. First I was preyed on by a pedophile and then let it happen because horny teenagers are programed to want sex. Hopefully now you understand why I was emotionally distant. By the way, Sean is a long-time friend of Uncle Will. His family owned this farm and Will bought the house from him. He is a Catholic priest. Will convinced me to talk to him. Between the two I feel much better about my past.” Dan stood and walked over to Gary’s chair. He pulled him up and the two embraced. “I love you and nothing you have said changes that. Thank you for sharing. The only thing I do not understand is why you thought you had done anything wrong. It happened. You were a victim.” Dan then pressed his lips against Gary’s. The previously tormented man responded. With their lips open each tongue explore the mouth of the other. As Dan realized their hard dicks were pressing against each other he thought, ‘Is he too fragile for a physical relationship yet?’ As Gary thought, ‘Does he think I am too wounded to have a physical relationship yet?’ While the lips were locked the two dicks were having their own discussion. Finally Gary’s dick told him he had to take the initiative as Dan was probably hesitant to force himself on the other. Gay whispered, “There is a possibility that some friend or neighbor might drop in. Why don’t we go upstairs to continue our conversation?” Holding hands they walked up the stairs. As Gary led Dan into the room he had slept in the pile of tissues was still on the floor. Dan joked as he looked at the tissues and said, “Were you thinking of me last night?” “Sure was!” Instinctively each removed his shoes and they laid on the bed. Then a frenzy of pent-up lust and passion began. Their hands explored every part of the other’s body. During the fury of activity their cloths were removed and naked body pressed against naked body. Dan disengaged himself from the arms of Gary and began an exploration down his body. He kissed his friend’s ears, then neck, each nipple the stomach and naval. Thinking of Gary’s past he hesitated swallowing the magnum dick that he so much wanted to taste. Instead he kissed the tip gently sucking off the layer of precum. Following introducing his tongue to the furry blond balls he moved back to the lips. Gary then traveled the same route his friend had. Except when the school teacher worshiped the dick he not only kissed it but swallowed it. Dan cried out, “I’m CUMMING.” Gary released his lips and enjoyed the sight of the juices spurting onto his friend’s stomach. Gary then kneeled over his friend and began stroking himself. Dan reached up and pushed the hand away. He then placed his own hand around the dick and relished the sight of cum pouring out and mixing with the mass on his stomach. Gary fell forward. The two embraced as the sticky stuff coated each. In the shower they playfully washed each other. Since Gary had been willing to suck, Dan kneeled and took his friend as far as he could. Practicing on the well-endowed Peter had not prepared him for this challenge. When Gary got close and attempted to pull out Dan wrapped his arms around his friend’s ass and sucked harder and deeper. He was soon rewarded with his friend’s love juice. Dan then stood and jerked off on to his friend’s limp dick. After the shower they dried each other and returned to bed. Again wrapped in each other’s arms Gary whispered, “I love you.” “And I love you.” Now Dan realized why Dan was so negative about the city of Canto. Following two hours of conversation, cuddling and more tissues on the floor they put on the silky nylon robes Will had told Gary they could use and ventured downstairs. Will and Sean were sitting at the kitchen table. As the younger ones went to the counter to fill their coffee cups Dan whispered something into his love’s ear. Gary nodded yes. When the two turned around the sashes on their robes were undone and the robes open revealing the two bodies. One in his thirties, muscular with dark hair and a pleasing cut dick and the other, in his twenties, handsome, thin-muscular, blond with a magnum cut dick. Gary stated, “You two guys are the best friends and mentors a couple of armatures could have. While we only have eyes for each other we want to share with two very special guys.” Sean hungrily leaned forward and Gary without hesitation approached him. The other two tenderly observed as the younger accepted the caresses from his new friend that started with the chest and nipples to the balls and now hard dick. There was no objection when Sean leaned in and kissed then swallowed the master piece. To the surprise of Dan, the experienced older man easily swallowed it to his base. Suddenly Gary was embarrassed with the thought that after three cummings with his love he would not be able to fully satisfy this man who had been so understanding and tender. The ever hornyness of the 25 year old prevailed and he soon stabilized himself by grabbing Sean’s shoulders as he pumped out the sixth load in 24 hours (3 with Dan, in bed the previous evening and a midday wank in the bathroom of the teacher’s lounge). Dan rewarded Will with his fifth (previously 3 with Gary and a before work cumming the previous day) in the same time period. It had been a busy morning. Now at 11:00 Gary departed for home and Dan to his apartment. He had promised to take his son Danny to the high school Saturday afternoon football game and then out to dinner. Will invited them to return that evening for dessert and to stay the night. Sean announced that he would stay over and drive home early Sunday morning to say mass for his out of town priest friend. That evening as the four devoured the apple pie baked by the wife of Will’s good friend and farmer neighbor the host had a suggestion. Gary, you told me that you wished you could have a place of your own but were living with you parents to save to pay off your student loan as fast as possible. I have a proposition. A man of 93 living alone in a somewhat isolated farm house is probably not the best situation. You are welcome to rent a room upstairs. The price of the rent will be to provide companionship, just friendly – no sex expected, and help me around the house. Of course you would consider this your home and have guests over, or should I say a guest. Think about it.” “I do not need to think about it. The offer is accepted.”
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