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SilverArdour

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  1. Excerpt: Arden, The Devourer

     

    "The fog in my mind is barely lifted. Is this exhaustion or a drugged state?" He questioned himself, slender digits massage his own head, running them through his red hair. His hair and eyes glowed in the dimly lit room like anemone and coral in deep sea. 

    The drug clouded his mind or did his mind taint how he experience it? 

    'Muddled.' He thought, 'Mangled. My mind is mangled like the body of my son." he continued and waited for the pain to come. But pain and grieve sits in the distant corner of his mind like watching the pain of a stranger. Numb. Nothing. His grieve is bleak and he was too numb to care with no purpose.

    His own child. Defiled, mangled, tortured and murdered by the actions of his own lover.

    The god thought he was a lowly creation, a shiny new toy. He will pluck those Asteris one by one and strangle their celestial neck. 

    In echo of his emotions. The daylight skies outside turn dark, thunder and lightning clash.


  2. 1. I want to continue reading my stories after a month of isolations and recuperating from all the things that happened to me within the last 10 month. I haven`t touch a book for a month. 
    2. I have two chapters lined up for, "Of Ancient Earth"
    3. I want my Christmas and Christmas gifts even if I live in a tropical god forsaken country. 

  3. The inability to think, How fractured my mind is. How heavy it feels, My mind is on the verge of breaking, The mind is like a nebula that give birth to the stars, The stars that I loved so much. Oh how I weep for them. All my entire life, I have been chasing love, My family, The stars... But I never receive it back Am I an unloveable monster? No wonder Aphrodite laughed when asked, "If love is meant to heal why does it destroy those who chose it?" The love I yearned and learned, It was tattooed on papers with these bleeding digits, It was written so well but not because I have experienced it, But because I yearned for it so much, and my tears spread the ink and stained the paper, How funny never once it was tattooed in my heart and soul. No wonder I was laughed at, I forgot to love myself.
  4. Soft delighted gasps.

    I drink for taste. Sometimes for aesthetics. THIS. This is delightful. I discovered alcohol, nothing is stopping me from exploring what I like and figuring out why. This will be fun.

    20201111_144429.jpg

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. SilverArdour

      SilverArdour

      @drpaladin which ages is your favourite?

    3. Zombie

      Zombie

      @SilverArdour each is made fascinating both by the detail and historical social references which make the whole an invaluable social document of that time. Interestingly, Hogarth made his money from the engravings of his work having got parliament to extend copyright law which was developed by Great Britain (not yet the “UK”) and has now evolved into the EU’s copyright law...

    4. SilverArdour

      SilverArdour

      @Zombie I want a copy of them framed between my collection of books...according to theme.

  5. I am still lost at adding pictures to my gallery. Its okay. I will enjoy learning it.

     

    You would think for a 24 years old I would be tech savvy...no. I can hack and repair but I can't even operate an fb fully.

  6. Dear diary and myself, I have read so many love quotes and others for writing purposes. Growing up in a broken family with a fucked up life childhood deprived me of certain things and one of them is a sense of normalcy. I lacked measurements on normal things and it used to worry me. What if my love is self destructive? What if I am incapable to love and being loved? With my family genes in me filled with murderers, tragedy and insanity. What if I can't love? What if I am not normal? What if I won't be able to be happy despite what I have gone through? I realized that...in the end it doesn't matter. My past shaped my needs that I learned to embrace. My menage a trois arrangements. My choice and judgement to the one who I love and placed my trust in gave me clarity. In moments of....duress, I judge what was in front of me with all emotions. While the one to my lover had issues and have caused a lot of trouble and is definately the least ideal situation for me because only god knows how many fucking time I wanted to give both of them a middle finger I...I have none to him. Physical pain is not punishing but to some degree feels good and I wanted it. I did not do it to punish myself my ...biology merely altered due to circumstances. Can I choose to deprive myself of it and be more normal? Of course but...its not me. We are not talking about mental aspect but physical here. If. IF my lover aaid that they are unable to love and fulfill my need, that their love goes hand in hand to mental abuse or the lack in their ability to give, it simply mean that they are weak. Humanity have preserved through multiple odds for millions and billions of years. Through many genus. So will I and hopefully one day I can find happiness. Here's to living life to the fullest and accepting the bad and the good that happens.
  7. SilverArdour

    The stars

    thank you! You made my day with this, I will cherish it and I am glad both of you enjoy it ~ Also, I am back. Alive and kicking which is unfortunate for most.
  8. Welcome esteemed guests... Such lovely stars They are a purpose that we can barely understand I don't. I watched it as a child when everything around me crumbles. Such solace it gave me. I watch the skies again in the city, Far far away from my problems, But they were not there, No matter how beautiful the morning came Wooing me like a lover. No matter how breathtaking the sunset is, The stars were not there. All that there is are demons, djinns and my past haunting me. Pressing their face against the window. Help me, Because it feels as if God himself can't, He never could in all the lives I have lived, After all, The weaver of their fate is none other than man himself
  9. Welcome! To a place where it walks like a poetry and other writings, quack like one but does not sit like poetry. There is no aim for this writing. The heavens are vast and full of unknown. Contain things that are not poetry.
  10. Hello. I apologise but I will take a 2 month break from publishing any chapter and reading anything (But I am still writing them just no publishing)

    There is one more month left until 9th December. Reasons:

    1. I need to review my relatioships since its a bdsm and polyamorous relationship.

    Its complicated and messy. A cluster fuck but like all human relations...all party are at fault one another. Maybe there will be a diary update because I want to write about everything without anyone knowing anyting.

    2. I finally have a job and I want to focus on it while juggling my studies.

    3. I went through years of abuse that I don't understand things that are normal and like breathing to other people. I am finally calm, managing my emotions with the issues settled so I...need time to adjust and accept myself. Focusing a bit more on the things that grounded me.

    4. I have piles of work rightttt here *pats* being a workaholic is how I cope with my emotions. These are schoolwork with due dates. But its okay, my pointers so far are A to B+ averages. Meanwhile I will roll about in the emotions from some of my favourite author's stories. 

    I am writing Christmas cards to my friends and myself.

  11. Chapter 7 E T I E N N E Etienne of course, had cleared his mind of any intention and his presence. He brings up his bubbling emotions to the surface, welcomed it to the point even his fingers gripping the blanket seems foreign all while keeping his ears open for any bits of those two talking. It was easy especially in a state of discontent. Before had caught something between being human weakens Reynard. He wanted this, truth, but what was presented to him was too big for him to comprehend and overwhelming. Why do these things happened to him? His family was enough to fucked up anyone, then there is Reynard, then there is Reynard. Again. Isn`t this enough? Why can`t he live in peace? Io he divert his energy and thoughts to something else…as a distraction. But what comes out of the voices in the halls were…inhuman. Ethereal in a sense like an angel`s true form. He could hear soft moan of winds but could wind talk? Or sound as if they sing? He could sense emotions in them. Fear, worry and the urging..to do something. It gives Etienne the same feeling, to get up, ignored his state of body, mind and do..do something. The wind became hot, as if the cold night could burn and Etienne actually hugged himself before he heard something horrible. A cold horrible language, if cold wind could bite and permafrost corpse could talk…he actually felt a chocking sensation, his heart as if it was forced to slow and his entire body jolted in shock at the sudden cold. The soft moaning wind stopped abruptly and footsteps echo as they went farther from his room. All if left him was cold and it reminded the man of so much anger and hurt simmering in his own heart. Reynard had betrayed him by telling he love him, then he abandoned him, put Etienne in a state of paranoia by following him across continents, kidnapped him and expect him to be okay with all of these like he used to? He had no more fucks to give of gods, humanity or whatsoever. Etienne would be satisfied if Reynard bleed by his hands but for now, he kept all the feral and storming emotions deep down inside. Unsurprisingly, he was left alone the entire day, food came without him noticing during his naps. But that night he dream and so was the next night. They are all the same ; Etienne was being chased by a wraith. In the dream, his foot light as a feather yet he could never out run it. His heart beat so strong in the murkiness of the dream against his chest that it almost come out, and he could feel that creature`s anger of being wronged. The lack of sleep had made his thoughts restless. That thing was wronged? Dreams meant something, at least he believed in that. Some where and some how he had done something wrong. But what did he do? He had done nothing. Certainly not for rebelling against his family right? and no matter how hard he tried he couldn`t wake up, any dreams he had would be distorted into the exact same dream. It kept chasing and chasing him, and every time he woke up, he could almost hearing it screamed at him in anger. On the third day, Etienne woke up on his stomach with cold sweat trailing against his back. He slightly shivered. This is the third day Reynard had left him alone. All he could felt was anger and loneliness. What`s the difference between now and in the past? The man dumped shits on him and walk away. Etienne might as well not have anyone to love. For him the man was too patient. Everything Etienne did was met with acceptance even during times when it should not, even when Etienne himself know Reynard didn`t approved or worried and struggled about it. He waited for the man to say something, anything but nothing. They had very tense moments where they would stare at each other long but still Reynard didn`t share his thoughts with Etienne. Instead, he made decisions that involves them both without discussing it with him. Etienne had accommodate it yet…infuriated by whatever this is. He just expect Etienne to follow his wishes. After kidnapping him? Did he think the man still assumed he is someone who requires only acceptance even when he falls? His past self would have raged against the misconception and became angry again. This time he is angry but things will be different, he won`t kept silent about it no. He will not die or suffer without receiving an ounce of clarity or answers from the..god or whatever the man claimed himself to be....gods. Either he was being naive again..wait..is he? Who would believe that their ex lover is a god or whatever creature he was? His throat felt chocked before the man shoved the bigger questions down. If he had to face it now...he will breakdown faster than he could find a safe place again. He comforted himself, that by finding the truth and that this is all one big joke, most of his problems would be solved. Either the male be true to him or none at all. He had seen these kind of tall tale lies before, everything was twisted that you will never know the differences between up and down. He seen it with his parents and their political games. He never ever will settle for a relationship like his parents. Sharp pain twinge in his heart, eyebrows furrowed causing creases on his sweaty forehead. Lean lithe frame almost look broken were it not for the fact he looked more feral than beaten. Will his entire life be the same cycle again and again? Unspoken words? The feeling of love slowly slipping away from them? How brave he felt when he lured the man and punched him in the face before but now everything felt crashing down on him. He won`t find anyone who will understand him will he? Dark eyes winced, the man felt as if he did not have enough air to breath in despite the open window. This time no tears come out for him. Instead Etienne chocked on his own grieve, breathing slowly grew frantic and ragged until he heaved and wailed like a strange beast. Trembling fingers clawed the window sill that remained chill despite the heating, the coldness that the woods absorbed calmed him down. Somewhere in the house he heard a loud thump, at that, heart beat against his ribs loudly. Soft golden locks whipped around along with his neck. Each breath was shorter, the chasm in his soul could be felt as every bit of his shield came down. There is a world out there, he may not sure if he can escape but he wanted space and he needed to feel safe again, less overwhelmed. He needed himself, not within radius of an omnipotent being who seems to be ignorant of his wish and desire. He looked at the snow outside then to the dead tree mixed with evergreen. He will keep out of the cold by staying up the dead tree. Something shift in his raven eyes, if emotions could burn as fire, dark as the universe itself, devoured and defy. It would have contained within those orbs. Etienne surveyed the door to his room before he crawled out. He is anything but sane right now and desired the state where his mind isn`t a thunderstorm. One leg hang on the window sill, he must gently sink in the snow to avoid much noise. As expected, he flinched at the icy cold snow biting his soft feet when it first touch the pile. At this rate, he will get frostbites in no time, so he must hurried. The snows aren`t thick yet, half a feet at most so Etienne hurried into the forest. Not one fear of being lost or dying. After all, desperate men tend to do desperate things. R E Y N A R D Reynard was in deep discussion with Caius as soon as he left Etienne`s door and they have been up two days now. At the rate he is running this vessel down, the human form won`t stand much longer. He had tuned out the messenger. ”-ire! Sire!” He flinched, jolted and looked in front of him at the frustrated man. ”Did you not hear what I said? They are up to something. I surveyed the one of the black hole it was…spewing light.” ”When they devour a star that tend to happened. Our life force won`t be extinguished easily.” ”and if it happened despite that they never devour any of our celestial bodies before?” Reynard froze, silence fell into the room like a heavy blanket before it was broken by his cursing, “There are..many uses of what they are doing now but its still too early to figure anything out. You have to return. Go.” ”I-I can`t..You are our King, if something happened to you. The entire balance..” He understood the man`s reluctant-ness. ”Go. I said go! I am no weakling but our realm is unguarded Caius. It may not matter which side won but we can`t be the casualty. Hold the fort until I bring Etienne with me and scour our fallen libraries. Find the keepers, try to convinced them back.” Reynard swallowed, it will never be good if the night fractions started to move about. He heard whispers in the dark, the usual discontent after all. All the stars, celestials have their clans and belief but not displayed...publicly. The last time this happened, one of them had actually managed to die. A burning gas of fire with solid core had died, rotted as if it was a similar to a roadkill, hanging in the night sky. He shuddered. Mortality. If he returned, he will loose Etienne but if he stayed, he could make it back in time. He can`t return not yet, he can`t just run either. Not without risking to loose Etienne. His realm rarely face catastrophes since he had complete control over the dead unlike the rest of the celestials. He needed to figure all of these problem quickly but first, he needed to checked on Etienne. E T I E N N E O A K T R E E He was sitting high up above the ground on the junction where the branches began to spread, swinging his feet above the snow. The oak tree was...magnificent. Not all of its leaves had fallen away, there`s still even some the poisonous berries, and he was content to hide like this. The black pajama they gave him helped camouflage him with the dark branches. There was no blowing wind today, no sun either which he thought was strange but the weather is not as frigid as he expected. Etienne sat there for hours, thinking of his parents, his family, his love life. Where had it gone wrong? Had it been him not trying hard enough? He had loved Reynard, love the man`s intelligent. If he is as old or strange as he claimed, Etienne value it even more because the man chooses to be scheming, how the man put his different facets and self in every move he made. By now he realized how Reynard tried to do the best when it involved people around him and continue to be polite. As polite as a mountain lion can be. The man never underestimate anyone he met even to the shallowest of people. Would a man of his caliber lied? He swear to whatever is up there, if he is stuck with a maniac. He would slit his own throat first. A crazy lunatic who could not be reasoned with is his limits. Sufficient to say, feeling weirded out is very mild compared to how he feels. But pain is pain. His own pain and grieve strangled him alive since young till now. Etienne won`t hesitate to choose himself this time if the man screwed up. God or not. If he have to, he will dumped the man...or god and slit his own throat in some abandoned untraceable cave if he have to so the man won`t revive him just to be safe. For now he needs to manage his storms of emotions…and after that, he is going to make the man be his true self. God or not and he will get the satisfaction of pay back and unleashing his self control . He will not have his partner whipped like a slave for him and he was sure this is not what the man wanted either. No, he had seen the calculative gleam in the man`s eyes when Etienne got angry, how the choice of words fit with whatever agenda he have in mind, the discussion and how the man`s eyes light with conclusion when Etienne bought up a problem for them to discuss. The man had acted like a guidance, a teacher and in the end a distant lover who was so passive he might as well be a corpse before disappearing. Etienne won`t fall in love or fuck his teacher. He wanted a partner, fight with him, voice out the hurt, hell. Even punch him, he will fight back, as long as they both are willing to work it out. Instead no, Reynard had pushed him away during the moments when he needed him to fight back his family, insisting he focused on his problem while he watch from afar instead of together. So Etienne ran amok on his family. He unleashed what two decades of pent up and abuse can do when you are not broken or forgiving. Reynard who had put a distance between them, guarding his emotions so Etienne won`t be distracted by whatever excuse that the man will lock him up bullshit primal thing and that drove him crazier. So patient, like a teacher..so passive when he knows the male is anything but that. He had seen when people wronged the man and watch he run them to dust and took the slow way for the fun of it. He assumed the man isn`t above to torture, because he had not flinch when he found him. Maybe, maybe Etienne also occasionally caught slips of conversation. Now he know what he wanted from the man. A middle finger for wronging him, he wanted to give the man hell, god or not and then...if the man worked enough effort, Etienne would want to see if their relationship can work. He freaked out a bit when Reynard talk about all the celestial things and gods but what the man did not know is that he had admitted that didn`t know humanity well. That there are a few times human have surprised him, Etienne saw it with his own eyes. He concluded that the god has emotions that Etienne can dealt a blow at it. Etienne shifted high above the tree, the winter and evergreen landscape look...distant while the sky so vast and his problems insignificant. Now the aftermath of him thinking about said problems appeared. All the rage he saved, thanks to the turmoil in his minds and emotions bubble up to the surface, nearly blinding his sight with red rage. So many wrongs, so many pain inflicted on him and deep down he knew it hurts more when he had done nothing wrong. He was belittled for trying his best yet his best is never enough. When he was pushed into a corner, they mocked him for not fighting back but when he did they called him a monster. He broke. His own scream pierce his ears like a wounded wraith. Etienne screamed his heart out, vision blinded with grief and his fingers gripping his heart so that what he felt inside can be reflected outside. He hoped to bleed. His heart was a cracked glass that will never break now shattered into a million pieces. All the grief, pain, failure, the disappointment he felt for never done enough, how naive he was to be betrayed again and again bottled up in a never ending long scream of something inhuman that echos through out the forest. He felt warm liquid on his cheeks. Are these…tears? Were those scream really came from his own sore throat? He felt distant, as if he wasn`t the one screaming, as if the fingers digging into his numb throat wasn`t his own. The scream came out in endless waves, a tight rope that finally snapped and he felt like he could go on for hours. And after what felt like eternity, his screaming died and Etienne`s shoulder slumped, his soul beaten down. There was no more energy in him to do anything what else to even fight. He was done, exhausted. When he snapped back, Etienne realized he didn`t noticed the man he spend hours thinking was on one the branch a bit farther than his. Watching him. The ancient golden eyes piercing him did not glowed with power, just storms of emotions and intelligence. A pair of dark grey wings flutter silently, with gold tipped at the edges of each downs. Etienne blink but did not even twitched at the sight. , “You are on a branch…don`t do stupid.” he reminded himself while still taking deep shuddering breaths. All the energy he had was sucked out as he met Reynard`s eyes with his own dark ones. There was no barrier to his soul and he did not care if the male is a fucking powerful god who bolted at the sight of his dark, oily soul. Seconds stretch to minutes The minutes felt like hours Time stretch and Etienne felt content to let the heavy silence fill the space between them. His allow his exhausted heavy body to fall on the tree branches. Without even an ounce of energy left, he couldn`t contained the tears streaming down his face like a broken doll. Oddly the god did not comment anything save for a simple sentence. , “I made lunch, its warm. Do you..want to return back?…”, But Etienne could see the struggle of emotions evident on the male`s expression as he tried to slam them shut. When he nodded, the man slipped off the branch gracefully, not disturbing a single snow other than what he touched. He hold his arms out but Etienne took the human approached. He scale down the branches while the man waited just as graceful or try to be as humanely as possible. He didn`t realized that it was the first time Reynard did not coddled him or said anything. D I N I N G R O O M In front of his eyes were a decent sized table soon to filled with food. But it wasn`t anyone who brought it out, it had been Reynard. He was sure the banging of pots and pans after they returned was due the male cooking. Not servants or the man he spotted before. He wondered if he missed anyone since all he had done was stayed in the room. His stomach growled in hunger when the food had slowly began to be placed in front of him. Roast ham, baked potato slices, fresh bread and cream stew with questionable pinkish beef that he hoped wasn`t human. He must have projected hard because he knew Reynard can`t hear his every thoughts now. The little trick worked and besides, the man answered him from the kitchen, ”Its not human! Its wagyu!” Etienne blink. Who the fuck put wagyu in a fucking stew? He just gave the man an exhausted stare when he sit down. Even his family did not waste wealth like this. Etienne slowly stir the stew to cool it down before he put a spoonful in his mouth. Those pale lashes and slightly red rimmed eyes fluttered as he savoured the rich taste of the stew in his mouth. The sharpness of the cheese, béchamel sauce, the carrots, potatoes and god knows what seasoning is in this actually tasted heavenly. Etienne hated soup but stews are an exceptions. Simple stews are the best when made right and with the best ingredients available but he still wanted to weep considering the wagyu. He swore he saw Reynard just tossed them in the pan, seared them like everyday meat and dumped everything together. By the gods. After the stew, he slowly moved on and tasted each dish. With each bite Etienne`s began to relax. If there is one thing he appreciate and love, that would be good food. The years he spent alone and running away from his family was filled with bad batches of cooking and starving because he had no clue on how to cook or manage his money. While the food he made tasted good, there was never any warmth in them. That`s why he would hit cafes or restaurants run by families often. No Michelin stars would compared to a welcoming atmosphere and hearty food. Soon he began to fill his plate for a second helping. Etienne missed Reynard`s small smile. R E Y N A R D Before he started dinner, Reynard had ensured Etienne sit down all bundled up by the fireplace. He had also crank up the heat in the house to combat any frostbite his little human body would get. But the male barely shivering when he came back and from external inspection he had done, Etienne seems fine. No discoloration on his skin from the cold or ice cold slender fingers. Reynard knew because he had subtly brush their fingers together. He doesn`t trust it one bit, so after their meal Reynard had given Etienne a blanket, a pillow and a glass of apple cider with explicit instruction to sit by the fireplace and warmed up. The celestial suspected something about how abnormal the male reacted to temperature, but said nothing. Just kept it behind his mind to mulled on later date. There was too many things in his mind, silence slowly falls heavy while both of them deep in thoughts and especially after seeing that display of emotions from Etienne. It made him want the male even more now. When he peered deep in those eyes all he could see was a soul so precious, battered with emotional scars and burden but had not given up. That human had stared into the many eyes of Chaos and not given up. That's why it frustrates him so much. He wish Etienne could see himself as much as he sees him now. Fucking damnit at first the male seems like a lost cause and he had try his best to accept the state he was in. He was sure it wasn`t enough and he had acted immaturely but he doubt Etienne remembered every bits of his life from the past. Reynard had read in the internet that for humans, most form of mental illness can be taxing for the mind and effect memory loss. He didn`t know if Etienne remembered every details when he had unleashed his wrath on his family or what comes after that. But that conversation will come later. Reynard knew his golden eyes bore a hole into the man`s soft blond locks. No, he made sure the man felt his eyes on him as he contemplate. He knew he is asking a silent favour from the man and should be groveling at his feet. After all, it`s his life in the line, He shouldn't have acted like an ass but he had spend years watching Etienne contained his emotions and just…accept things that happened to him. Reynard knew that watching the things Etienne went through was different compared to the man who experienced it himself. The beauty had a fire in him. Deep down he knew Etienne wanted happiness as much as a normal person would yearned. After all, he saw how the man fought back. The celestial just wasn`t sure if his mortal half can handle anyone with a strong personality and survived. Not at the current state where secrecy and scheming was beaten so deep in him by his mortal family. Etienne won`t survive if he just kept quiet at every discontent, try to make do with the cards dealt to him and scheme when they should be lovers. He knew what how being powerless and at the mercy of your spouse turned out. Etienne would have been broken, vindictive and filled with endless sorrow like Hera. He won`t have a servant and master relationship where power is imbalanced. He wanted a lover and a ruler. Reynard wanted Etienne to choose himself again and again, even at the possibility of loosing love and being alone. He needed the man to accept himself from his physical appearance all the way to his wants, and desires. They had to grow on each other as time passes but nothing will budge if Etienne doesn`t even twitched and only contained his emotions. They need to communicate, two of them must be willing to work it even if that comes in the form of beating the shit out each other. So he reflected back what Etienne had done, hoping the man would noticed by keeping all the emotions, discontent to himself and just go ahead and make a decision. It was an asshole move, but he hoped the man would at least protested saying its unfair Reynard never asked his opinion. No, the man had kept quiet, lips sealed and would stare at him occasionally with unreadable gaze. The god would remember how many times he wanted to bang his own head against the wall. That precious child, have no idea of how normal people work. At this rate, if the rest of the celestials mate are like his. They would be as frustrated if not more than how he currently feels. Couples are open with one another, communicate, and love as fierce. Reynard made a mistake, he was ignorant of the pain in Etienne, of the trauma and how deep it runs. He had been an ass, the long battle talk with Caius had also included him to be prepared to make up to the man. Now, now he could barely think straight. His voice seems to jolt the man out of his reverie. Praise be Chaos, please make it work, “Etienne..I wish to burden you. I know given you are thrown into any situation, you will turn the tides to your side. Even the harshest one and survive.” He spoke quietly. Ancient golden eyes heavy with age observed the subtle tensing of atmosphere around the male, a tinge of heaviness before it vanished. Reynard`s lips twitched into a smile but he kept it away from his voice. He wanted a reaction, anything that could lead to honesty. But he hoped for anger from the man because people react two ways to pain. He wanted Etienne to let go of his control, to realized that sometimes its safe to let go, to have faith in himself more and that his wrath, pain was justified. Because he knows that in telling the truth, exactly like Etienne`s family had done would make the gorgeous man sorrowful. He would feel lesser and pick on every flaws. "Hence...I will ask that you accompany me back as there are matters of urgency. There will be time for you to adjust, and I will answer every questions you have honestly. I said I will give you time, but we don`t have that anymore. Allow me to at least court you for three more days not for marriage but a chance that you will come with me to think at least." Gods Reynard felt like an ass, he pray to Chaos that there is still a chance after this. If the man can still accept him after this, he will apologize, spoil and make up to the man for the span of eternities they have. E T I E N N E He couldn`t met the man`s eyes and choose to stare at the burning fireplace in front of him. The man expected him to comply just like that. Who does he think he is, and who does he think Etienne is? Finally, Etienne turned and looked at the god, lips pursed in disapproval and his gaze judgmental. ”You…”The one word filled with vehemence and disbelieve before a loud feral laughter escape his throat, anyone could see the emotions behind them, as if they were trapped in a mirror, slamming to be let out. “You are arrogant.” and let out it did, Etienne coiled himself, almost as if he was meek and wanted curled up. But instead he dropped the blanket and launch himself at the celestial, Reynard`s eyes widen, not expecting it. After all, what echoes in Etienne`s mind was different compared to his action, even as his mate charge at him. Etienne`s thoughts belong to a person who wish to escape reality and in their own world, Reynard could not sense any emotions at all and he knew he was tricked. But the god could never read him fully like other creatures, the only reason he could now is because the man had dropped whatever trick of a shield that he tested again and again on the gods. He swore he heard someone cried out in shock when a loud crunch was heard. Reynard`s sight filled with red at the pain on his face as he fell to the floor with Etienne straddling top of him. He barely felt the impact, it was numb compared to the sharp pain on his face. He covered his nose quickly and groaned, trying to see what Etienne was doing. Only to see the man on top of him with the most calmest expression on his face safe for the eyes. It was feral, burned to the brim with anger and Reynard could feel the anger now. He could feel the goosebumps that kept on coming and go around tasting his mate`s anger. There is something broken, a madness for sure but it was scarily focused. It was focused on him. Perhaps...praying the man to be angry is a very terrible idea. While Reynard sees changes in Etienne when he observed the man, Be it in the past or after the event with his family, he wasn`t sure if the man had…change for the better. As calm as he sometimes sees Etienne, he wasn`t entirely convinced after all. He is omnipotent. He knew humanity well. But now he wasn`t so sure if his assumption that the man…was lost is true anymore. Evidence was the amused, gleeful and almost vengeful grin on Etienne`s lips. Reynard didn`t know what to do so he just lay there, not moving, his chest rise and fall at every deep breath and continued stare at his mate. He swallowed nervously. ”You expect me to comply with you after you wronged me? So easily? You told me you loved me, then you abandoned me. After that you do not have the brains that stalking me half a continent would ramped me up and exhausted me with paranoia.” A mix of European and cut-glass accent escape his lips along with bared teeth as he continued. Gods the male lost it, Etienne was always careful with his accents, “After that you knock me out, kidnapped me, dumped this shit on me about gods that only a lunatic will do!" Slender fingers gripped the celestial`s collar, "Then you do whatever the fuck you want! Talking about marriage when you barely prove yourself trustworthy! Why? Do you want to know why?!" A small chocking sound escape Reynard`s lips. By the gods, his small slender mate was shaking him so strongly with crazed eyes like a wronged woman. "I knew of your charade all along you bastard! You pretend like a passive slave accepting everything I do while lying and scheming behind my back. Acting as if you are a teacher! Well, I don`t want a fucking god damn teacher! I want a partner who is by my side! If you want to continue this charade then I swear to any being higher than you..” Etienne leaned closer, a snarl escape his lips, their nose inches away as his dark raven eyes meet Etienne`s golden ones, “That I will never ever settle for anything less than my standard even if I have to slit my own throat to give you a middle finger.” Reynard didn`t know human can snarled, but the sound that escape his throat was not human and feral enough to cause the man underneath him to take in a sharp breath. Then those golden eyes finally seems…stripped of its coldness. Reynard strong fingers managed to gripped a bunch of Etienne`s soft blond locks, pulling him closer. He took in those kissable lips, dark dazed eyes that would give a rare black diamond a run for its money all the way to that beautiful but murderous expression on the man. The celestial felt cock hardened before baring a set of fangs to the mortal that he carefully hidden, “You will regret asking that of me.” He taunted but his words holds no heat. This anger. This is something he could worked with. For gods sake that posh European accent turned him on, even cursing him, “Said the fucker who demanded me to take a throne and make do with scraps of happiness you give! I will not watch you take others!” Etienne allow the desire for the man underneath him to take control, heavy heat pooled in his stomach and he swore he is having a throbbing hard on before he smash their lips together. Reynard was pleased and he almost purred before he yet out a pained shout. He forgot Etienne could distract him and he did, Etienne moved from kissing his lips to his neck and had bite it hard enough to draw blood. He couldn`t remember what he wanted to do, watching the soft blond locks framing those beautiful face that could rival Eros, eyes dark like the universe yet burn with life. Reynard wish he could spun life, create another realm with celestial bodies out of it and those beautiful lips smeared with his own blood like an unfinished lipstick, all Reynard could do was glare at Etienne. That infuriating attire the human had choose as soon as they came back, hugging his hips and accentuating all the right places. Charcoal grey pinstripe vest cinched with thin leather belt on his back, and matching slacks, paired with a crisp white shirt. His clothing tailored perfectly, Reynard cursed Caius for taking measurements. The man look like a king, a crown would fit him so well that the first thing Reynard wanted to do was give him one, fuck him and fucked up everything else around him, the next words sealed it even more , “So court me like the ancient useless fucking god you claimed to be Reynard or fuck off.”
  12. A word of advise. Should be faced with the possibilities of Love. Run. Run very very far away.

    Especially if it`s a menage a trois.

    RUN. Flee for your lives.

  13. A P A R T M E N T The first thing he noticed when he entered the house was the grey winter sunlight entering his living room. The second thing was the figure in full dark suit, complete with antique silver pin embedded with crustal between the lapels of its suit, wearing a bone mask. Air stuck in his lungs before he carefully release a quiet shaky breath. The aged mask adorn with cracks looked like it belonged to a fox, but foxes skulls shouldn`t be that big. "So it must be something long extinct.” His mind reasoned with him, trying to delay the inevitable. Fox shouldn`t have antlers on its skulls either or a slight wave in its jaw lines. Judging from how far north those carnivorous jaws extend, he wasn`t sure if he could stay sane if he imagined its living form further. The being stood in his living room. Strange, the air surrounding him are nothing but still and calm. But for him its like you are swimming for your life through a strong current and seeing all the sea creatures swimming about calmly. Yet he couldn`t see anything behind the gaps on the mask. Not even the eye socket. Only darkness. Suddenly as if awakened, the pair of eerie glowing golden eyes take its place. But the gold... If dark cognac was set fire, what colour could that be? His head hurts thinking about it. ”Be calm my Beloved.” A dark husky voice came from what Etienne assumed was the jaw. He first felt the pressure on his knees before the whole legs weakened and tremble. Alarm ring in his head to run away as far as possible from this man that he used to know. Someone he wanted to avoid, but at least a familiar face. ”Rey. How?” Were the only words he could mustered, whispered softly. Strong elegant fingers reached for the mask and removed them as the being walked towards him. Its like removing the mask humanized the being, the air easier to breath. The suits hugged his muscular form well, the fabric shift each step he took. His strides unhurried, but it wasn`t sluggish, merely confidence and holds the gait of a predator. Behind the mask, Etienne was awarded with the stern face of a man he had spend months fallen in love with and months more running away from. "Etienne..." The man spoke quietly and almost too calm for Etienne`s liking. The glow in his eyes dimmed, until it became hazel with a hint of brown. Said man only tilt his head slightly, his eyes unblinking, burning holes straight to his soul. Strong jawline adorn with stubble that he could almost feel underneath his fingertips, bronze tanned skin and raven haired slick back curled lightly at the nape of his neck. He had remember running through those soft hair when they were together on bed. The man`s handsome feature was everything he could asked for a partner. He looked late 20`s reaching 30`s but those ancient eyes heavy with burden couldn`t fool anyone to think he is young. A pity he wasn`t a feature kind of man, he could have been persuaded with whatever the other wish to say. But he was more of a personality kind of person, which was why the first thing he did was swinging his fist and let it connected with the male`s face with a loud thud? What did he just punched? A solid boulder? A small sound escape the man`s lips. Not from pain but shock as he looked at Etienne. Shocked that the human had just punched him no matter how futile it is. The evidence was when Etienne flinched, only a small groan escape his lips as his arms numbly fell limp. His knuckle sting and his wrist feels as if he had two brick clash together and it was stuck between two. The second smartest thing he did was tried to run back out, he took a step back and that was all Reynard need. A snarl escape the man`s lips. Etienne`s eyes widen as the sound vibrate in the entire room and froze. With a sharp inhale he took another step back, almost stumbling. He was afraid, it was almost exhilarating, an ordeal he had to passed but he won`t be tempted. Etienne was ten feet away from the man. Ten, before he saw the man spring forward at nearly impossible speed and feel iron grip on his arms. The momentum caused both of them to fly straight backwards and Etienne slammed against the closed door, black dots filled his vision and pain seared his back. He bite back a pained groan. The younger male let out a shaky breath when the door rattled. His back throb and so does something else when the man pinned him. Reynard had one of his wrist pinned, another hand caged him on his side. The man pressed his heavy muscular against him, strong thigh wedged between his slender legs, slowly but firmly brushed against his growing hard on. ”Don`t move please. My control is only so thin.” Muffled growl emit from the male buried in his scarf and pressed against his neck. The husky voice felt so close to his ear and penetrate deep inside. There was a strange accent in the male`s English that he didn`t noticed before, it was light and lyrical. It was as if the male had spoken another language all together to him. Don`t move please, my control is only so thin. Is that why the male had come to him? Ensnared to the alluring and weak persona he had crafted? Etienne stilled. Silence stretch long between them and the snow outside made everything so…quiet, peaceful, “Forgive me..” The male said, his husky voice a light whisper, soft, gentle and careful as he pulled away slightly. As if Etienne was an animal with no conscience, years of pain and emotions bottled does not matter, as if he was a raging animal or frantic rabbit to be calmed down. Unreasonable in mind, thus, what he feels is invalid. As if he would be on his knees worshiping the male by now, his value so low to take two sentence apology spoken softly in their position, “Forgive Me” and it repeated a thousand times in his mind. ForgiveMeForgiveMeForgiveMeForgiveMeForgiveMeForgiveMeForgive- It`s cold, freezing and he had a raging hard on which only cause him pain. His anger rousing quickly. Etienne swore his patience just snapped. SLAP! The sound echo in the room. Reynard`s eyes widen, words died in his lips as Etienne finally, finally had the courage to push him away. No longer was he a coward who ran away from his emotions. He didn`t know what`s up with the strange mask but if the man can be shot then he can die. When Reynard staggered, Etienne took the advantage. ”You! YOU!” He screamed. His left hand still numb, so he grab the male`s collar and use his weight to tackle him down, the strange mask fall to the floor heavily. All while Etienne was trying to land a blow on the man. ”You think I am a cheap bastard with inflated ego to take pleasure in someone lowering themselves for forgiveness? You think mere words are enough? No they are not and never will!. Your action and your choices had AGAIN AND AGAIN REFLECTED ON YOU!” Etienne shouted, those last words come out hoarse and gravel from his lips. His throat raw from screaming and his emotions. Dark endless black eyes, filled with equal pain looked into the god`s own. The god was speechless, looking at the male`s quivering lips, eyes filled with pain and anger, breathing ragged. The man was beautiful but he had caused the very pain in those eyes. Words stuck in his throat, it came out as a strange sound instead. “Had even I say I forgive you, it will never mend the mistrust I have for you. I will listen to your explanation, but don`t…don`t mistaken my willingness to listen is an amendments between us.” His throat burn as he continued, voice tremble with rage and tears, brittle, “You fucked up. You hurt me. I trusted you with information I didn`t even share with my family or anyone. Even if I have come out better in the end in one way, I am already broken from the ordeal. The pain you have caused me? I gave you my time, my trust and you spat on it by choosing something else over me. All I want to was loved. Cherished and you…you could not even give me that” His voice cracked, tears run down his wet cheeks, his eyes rimmed red and his breathing laboured, all as he tried to compose himself. And he watched the man who now wears a broken look on his face. Perhaps it will finally reflect a speck of how he felt. ”Reynard. When I ran away that day, I came back..and found that you had betrayed me.” ”I am so tired. I am tired of being alone. I don`t want to be alone anymore…but..but if you did nothing…then I would rather be alone.” He chocked on the tears, the pain burst from biting his lips help him from turning into a hysterical mess. So many things he didn`t noticed before. The body language, the small tiny details that spoke of the very being of a man he used to love. Many more things unsaid between them since he had run away with his tail tucked between his legs. He made Reynard his sanity. Betrayed, he had unleashed his anger on his family, he broke their mind by having them at each others throat, their safety, wealth taken, crimes and abuse exposed, he had played with their fear, cornered and terrified that some were reduced to mumbling and rocking themselves, unable to testify. Those who were spared because he struck early went into hiding. After he was done, then he had run away. He couldn`t come back and finish the Reynard. Couldn`t confront him and instead bottled his feelings up, forever watching behind his back by chance any remnants of his family would come back. Finally, the words that escape those sensual rang with sincerity and struck Etienne`s heart, “I truly am sorry..I wanted you, to save you the most and I did not think.” The male took in a deep breath, ”and for this as well.” All the human could see was a blur and firm grasp, covering his eyes. The man gasped, as if he had just realized there was something disconcerting earlier when he first enter the apartment. The last thing he saw was complete darkness, and everything was silence as his world became mute and dark.
  14. Etienne Before Dawn Breaks Winter, 3:30am There was something about being awake the few hours before dawn surrounded by nature and at peace, the entire world silent with only you and your thoughts. Etienne woke up some time before dawn and he didn`t know how he can tell but he just could. Maybe it was how much he yearned to be free and at peace, so many maybes. Often, he would stare at the dark sky littered with stars during this time, the spill and fields of stars with occasional dark spots, he realized how he is always too aware of what is going on but now, now he welcomed it. When he sat up on the bed, looking out of the window into the winter forest. It seems alien to him, everything seems untainted by mankind. As if the Earth was young again, closing his eyes he could almost imagine what the world is like a few million of years ago. Is it as peaceful as this? Untouched by humans? He was aware of the coldness emitting from the snow, the deafening sound of silence and nature. The universe and nature is bigger than anything else, bigger than his problems. Everything was so quiet and peaceful. There is no pain or anger, he simply exist as himself and at peace with who he truly is, all that he is feeling at this time, is just acceptance. So he sat there, letting go and going with the flow of his thoughts that slowly become as blank as the darkness. Peace, when he thought he was alone until he realized he was not. Etienne`s every cells were aware of the presence behind him. His muscle stilled and tensed like only a leopard would before pouncing in, he could feel his eyes and attention zeroed in on the figure and he nearly launch at the male...would have if he had not spot something shiny in the man`s hand and froze. His breath stuck in his lungs and limbs stilled. , “Please.” One word from the male but it was the most emotion filled he had ever heard even before their separation. Reynard has a gift for him, wrapped in gold, red and white. It was prettily dotted with snowflakes. Looking closer, the man had glued those small silver hard confetti on it. The male knew he isn`t easily swayed right? He can`t be this stupid. So what are his intentions? In Etienne`s head his mind racing, calculating possibilities. Reynard didn`t hurt him except for yesterday. So far every time he was tracked down and he managed to flee, they let go and didn`t take any drastic measure until yesterday? He decided it would be safer for him to linger a bit…before any further plans of escaping or going amok and off kilter mad. ”I thought…well this would calmed you down. Enemies won`t give you a wrapped gift.” Ah..that`s why but…. ”They do.” He was puzzled for a moment but knew that it had worked. It disarmed him, made him stop and think. Reynard stare Etienne unblinking, his expression almost to a confusion and tilt his head. It went to blank before he frowned a bit but gently laid it on the man`s lap. Still didn`t blink and those eyes.. Unnerving. He helped Etienne untied the golden ribbon at least and the wrapping comes undone. Their hands close side by side. The man`s lightly tanned skin and strong elegant digits almost the opposite of Etienne`s slender and smaller sized ones. He looked at the male and sighed, lithe fingers unwrapped the rest. He blink. Once. Twice and look at it in puzzlement. , “A…watch?” So ordinary? He thought before blinking. At a glance no one would have noticed the intricacy of the watch he was holding in his palm. He froze, the man knew his taste. He swallowed and pushed away his thoughts, when he had the time he will stare at it and dissect each detail on it but not right now. No expression, no give away until he is sure what situation he managed to landed himself in. ”Your eyes.” Etienne managed to spoke before he clammed up. Reynard looked up, literal burnish gold clash with his own dark ones. He stayed there, still and rigid before looking down at the blanket covering him. “Let me get you food, time doesn`t matter because you were knocked out for 3 days. I know you don`t trust me but let me explain. I owe you that, after that..lets work out what is...best.” What is best...he heard that so many times and it never failed to irked him. Ah…so calm and reasonable. He almost forgot why he liked the man or thing?…to begin with. What odds would someone so insanely rich blessed with eerie beautiful eyes like those? Without waiting, Reynard stood up and headed for the door. Etienne was reminded the male never ceased to be a law onto himself, always made his own decision and expect him to follow, a frown marred his expression. As it creaked open, ”Mean while, how good is your mythology knowledge my love?” Etienne jolted from his reverie, “Good.” was his one worded answer. A pause. ”Then think carefully, if something is to exist before gods, titans what would it be? Do you think gods abide any laws? I ll be back.” Reynard left him just like that, with more questions than answers. Is this what staying with the man will forever be if he had not betrayed him? If he stayed that is. Will he forever be given questions instead of the truth and expected to accept it? As Etienne stared outside the window, all he could think of was the fact that today is Christmas and for once in his life he felt so peaceful, calm and quiet as the snow falling. No thoughts of family and their suffocating business. No obligations, no running away. He truly is free. He couldn`t think of anything. He knew the Primordials in Greek myths but thats it. He knew of Tiamat, Yahweh? But nothing fits and where is the line? , ‘Khaos’ A thought whispered in his mind. ”The line was never drawn but we were the first.” He jumped slightly and snapped from his calm reverie, Reynard`s voice have always been…it made him feel as if static tingles in his soul. A tray filled with assorted warm winter meals and fruits balanced between Reynard`s both hands, the door slightly open and he saw a figure passed by. He just realized something. He wasn`t thinking out loud. Etienne was aware that the entire time he was thinking, his lips were pursed together along with his fair golden eyebrows, knitting together as his eyes darken. Push the emotions down. A voice warned him. ”Y-You.” The word died in his throat. ”Yes...I am a god Etienne. But oldest, far older than the Primordial if you know them and my reason for being here is far more complicated than what you think. Even now, god is just a word I use that…might make sense to you.” The man froze, reality did not settled in that quick yet. His mind wandered, what did He desired? To use Etienne as a tool of some sort? Destruction? Was there any artifact lost in some desert that the man wanted? Like those books he read as a child…before his family found out and burn it all. Etienne`s first thought is that the man is insane and he needed to get away. But something was pushing against his mind, their strangeness like the pair of glowing eyes he thought he had imagined, the thick air when in Paris, how everyone ignored them at convenience sometimes, forget the strangeness when Reynard or Cyrus had said and done to the point that despite he was sure he seen something…choose to kept quiet instead, the body language that he could never fit in anywhere, not even the crazy idea of a secret service or cult. He was still as a statue when it dawned on him, being pushed into a corner send him past hysteria, straight into calmness, “Me. You are here for me. Somehow, some way you need something from me.” He fell quiet. He didn`t dare to think anything at all. The being answered quickly, “I am here for you, Etienne. But I don`t mean you harm.” The look Etienne gave him must have reminded him of the gift box conversation earlier. , “and no I am not lying. You are...important to me. Its complicated and I don`t want to overwhelmed you.." The blond almost snorted. Pleased he managed to retain a semblance to a sense of humor when the man managed to literally kidnapped him. "You are a wonderful existence to me. Most precious beyond any treasure I have ever possessed and ever will." Etienne was half listening but something else he found pleased him. It was a reaction, even if its slight. The male explained in a rush and his eyes had widen slightly as if he panicked he might shoot off and run. He can`t, right? , “Deep breath Etienne, please. I want to take it slow…let me cour- know you in the human ways, it is the most familiar to you. I want…us to get to know each other, I want a place in your heart, will you allow me another chance again Etienne, please my little starling.” Silence So quiet he could almost hear the soft snow fall to the ground, he took a deep breath and shove the bubbling cauldron of emotions he is starting to feel and avert else where, “You call me little starling, why?” ”Not the bird. But if you asked me, I truly think bush tits are cuter…” Reynard almost seems…nervous before he froze. Blink and continued, “Its because to me you are my little star. Like the gods who`s divine form, so divine you couldn`t gaze at them…so is mine. What I am is closer to those stars you see in the universe except greater, brighter, older and..hungrier. You could not gaze into the stars could you? You are becoming one. Oh your soul little one, if only you can see yourself in the eyes of other deathless gods, angels, demons and every creature existed. You would have realized how precious you are. I would know, for I am Death. It is a pleasure to met you, sirmel-isilith.” Instantly, his body felt as if snow blanket him right after he was burned in an open fire pit during snow days. Etienne shuddered, and could feel goosebumps risen along his arms...and remained. ”It means my starlight lover. Closest thing to the language that I speak.” , “I…” Still have not forgiven you. God or not, I don`t care. The emotion bubbled, his thoughts echo, before he realized it filled his entire mind. He was sure that…Etienne`s head quickly snapped and look at Reynard. Only for the man to give a defeated sigh. , “I know. That`s why I wanted you to…explore around the house and compound. All I asked is that you wait for a few more weeks. Two at least, give me more chance.” ”Time…I need-” Etienne`s words logged in his throat, chocking him with everything unsaid, “Time..space” He croaked. Reynard seems to let out a deep breath, as if he was silly for forgetting, “Time, Of course but I cannot leave you all just like that or all alone for…an entire time you needed. Just..once in a while.” He explained to Etienne. , “What-” He was cut off before he even begin. Again, gods infuriating , “I am afraid to leave you alone but I will do my best to give you space. Understand I am fighting the urge to just sit and wait as I usually do little prince... and trying not to suffocate you as well by coming too..strong.” Etienne felt his hand squeezed as the man…no god arise and nearly, on reflex he had looked up with hope, almost plead the being not to leave him before he simply watch. He realized a few minute later when the smell of food had assaulted his sense of smell and visual. Reynard did not just squeeze his hand, he had slipped a tray of food unnoticed. Did he do something or was he simply too shocked? At the corner of his eyes, he saw as the god slipped past, another hand reached out after him to close the door and voices began to echo outside the door.
  15. Hello everyone. I will update in 5 days max. I just came back from my vacation and have yet recover from it. 

  16. SilverArdour

    One More Day

    I would like to say that "Lets add more bodyguard and you will be fine" plan has never work and never will. LISTEN TO NOEL Too late... Its okay, onto next chapter! God damnit
  17. SilverArdour

    Close Call

    At first, it had been awkward to wake with my head on his shoulder or he spooning me, his arm wrapped firmly around my waist. From the day the attack had happened, he didn’t bother with etiquette any longer. He pulled me into his arms as soon as we went to bed and it felt right. Aww “That’s right, but that is not the only matter; I also have to examine him for penetration… he was a virgin, right?” “Was?” I thought that would be it and Diarmad would kill the doctor on the spot when one of the council members piped up- I thought so too and here I am all excited, bundled up, eyes wide and whispering, "Yessss go D." We all need a friend like Landyn
  18. SilverArdour

    Reality Bites

    “Thought of everything, huh?” “No. We arranged it yesterday. I own this building and knew there were several unoccupied flats left. Has your family visited you before?” D, no. You should not be answering that..oh..oh nevermind. I just had a sudden thought that well, Noel is a great person for someone his age. He was hurt and angry about the moving but understands how severe the situation is when explained. But age and experience does play a role here and I am impressed with how smooth the character developments are. At least for me it is, it feels natural. Noel is easily persuaded here, it was endearing to watch and amusing which believe me *mumble* can happen when you have lovers with huge age gap... Yes, I finished Book 1 and now going through again. Second read is when you notice all the details. I figured out why I like your writing, there is conflict but not foolish drama. There is something lovely in seeing people willing to work things together. Of course, I had a cheeky grin at the piano scene.
  19. SilverArdour

    Overexertion

    That is indeed accurate!
  20. SilverArdour

    Thinking Out Loud

    Simon startled me out of my thoughts. “You said you’re not sure what’s them, and what’s you… well I know one thing, they never had romantic feelings for the King. They were his friends, not his lovers. If you’re falling for him, that’s definitely you.” *points and grin like an idiot* “Noël… this Diarmad you see here… he is a, let’s say… subdued version of the real man. Because of his weakness, of the imbalance of his soul, his personality is… muted. He will become himself in time. As a matter of fact, I’m really looking forward to your fights…” Grinning he raised his empty mug Oh? I sense my all time favourite scene will come in the near future 👀 I always had a thing for couples who get back at each other or when a good emotional scene occurs. “If you don’t want me sitting with you at the table, just say so. There is no need to bring Landyn or Ronan into this. I’m not the type to force myself on people.” Yes Noel! Say it! I remember how much I love this part. I recall when I read it a long time ago, this is the first time I read a character actively called out and confront when someone is avoiding them instead of merely holding it in and keeping quiet or just accept it. Nothing wrong with them but I always preferred this. It shows they have..substance in them in a sense? a strong personality of sort and won`t just take it in. Are we seeing potential King Noel`s behaviour here? *grin* He wrapped his arms around my waist, burying his face in my stomach Ah the fluff, the softness of lovers and emotions of love. How enduring love is especially when you wait centuries for it.
  21. Yes, I am mildly unhinged and mildly hallucinating where I think I spelled or arranged words correctly when in fact, I didnt. I have been sleeping for 2-3 hrs for 3 weeks straight

  22. Ah...shit sorry. The chapter numbering is wrong but it is the correct chapter. I am sorry, I am not tech savvy or detailed person.

    Yes I am 24 and yes, I can do basic computer and gadget repair. No I don`t have any qualifications in IT. My major is English Literature and no, again, I am not tech savvy or detailed person when not needed. I tend to just turn off my brain and went vacation mood.

    Yes...it took me 30 min every time to figure out how to update the chapters because I could not be bothered. But maybe I should...

    I apologize. Have a good weekend everyone

  23. SilverArdour

    Overexertion

    “How do you look…unaltered?” “Nobody knows anymore. The Seraei are old. We have forgotten.” Now this is new! If I am not mistaken *squint suspiciously* =-= Oh Diarmad, you didnt even apologize for endangering Noel? “It is called diplomacy, Noël. We were able to agree on a treaty eventually. As soon as I am deteriorating, I am to step down, and the Council will elect a new king. Probably Keelan McGill. However, as it is a known fact the McGills have been trying to get this position since the beginning of our time here, certain rules and prohibitions had been implemented into the treaty. Among them the strict ban on using any offensive powers in my or your presence other than to defend me.” He snorted. “That will be the day when a McGill defends me or mine. Since Moira is a physician, she was the logical choice to monitor my health; see if I was still able to do my duty. One of the conditions of the treaty was that she had to be always by my side. We knew she was spying on us; watching me to see if I broke the law by making contact with you before it was time.” As someone who had went through the above so many times, especially the diplomacy shit. Yes. Yes. Everyone knows what is going on, its an open secret but you can`t go after your enemy or someone who hurt you. That would be fatal and all you can do is watch them smirk at you because you know they know, they know you know and there is nothing that can be done except to go through it and win. Sometimes...the opposite can happen :DD Oh he apologized! and they look so cute bundled up together. Noel is angry, Diarmad is angry and even weakened he still acted like a king. Despite seconds away from clicking the next chapter. Seeing the mild cliff hanger and suspension *cough* frustrates me. I want to know what happened next asap XD
  24. From the album: Things

    Sky I am exhausted today, how long has it been since I read anything? How long has it been since I write anything? I don`t know, I don`t know. For wadding through the sea of time in my mind is like swimming against a riptide.
  25. SilverArdour

    Things

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