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2,513 Journeyman Scribe 1st Class

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About Mawgrim

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    United Kingdom
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    Writing, gardening and walking in the countryside

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  1. Mawgrim


    Brilliant! Irene has spread the news exactly as Rick wanted and Rita is finished in town. I even felt a tiny bit sorry for her (maybe for a millisecond). Rick is growing in confidence by the minute as he takes control of his life. But what an ominous note with which to end the chapter. Bet the Takacs have closed up the house and fled, taking Gus with them. Bit of an extreme reaction, if that's the case, but I'm sure that Rick will be in hot pursuit.
  2. Mawgrim


    I don't think it was badly written. I usually read fast and sometimes skim over detail. As there was so much information, I needed to go over it again to make sure I hadn't missed anything important.
  3. This is a really interesting and different story. I’m enjoying it greatly so far.
  4. Mawgrim


    There's a lot of information in this chapter. It's very intense. The description of the characters and their emotional conflicts is well done, although I did have to re-read it to understand everything that had been going on up to that moment. Why did Cheryl end up at Roan's house when there is still so much unresolved anger for what happened in the past? I’m assuming that although he cut himself off from their lives at the beginning of the relationship, they all somehow ended up as friends again. Hopefully, some of this will become clear in subsequent chapters.
  5. Mawgrim


    Writing advice always tells you to start in the middle of the conflict and you've certainly done that. It's a short chapter, but definitely makes the reader want to find out the reason for Jared's wife going to Roan's house and what led to the situation having got so out of control.
  6. I’m trying to use this technique to work out a premise for a story I’m currently working on but I have two main point of view characters, both of whom have different objectives, even though their lives intertwine. The only way I can think of doing it is a sentence for both: A newly-hired chief projectionist discovers his predecessor invented a device that has stirred up malevolent forces within the cinema. A young woman, whose mother died under mysterious circumstances, find herself drawn to the same place, convinced she will find the answers there.
  7. Mawgrim

    Chapter 4

    You forget how terrifying job interviews can be as a teenager. Wonder if Tom put in a good word for him?
  8. Mawgrim

    Chapter 1

    This chapter dredged up all of my horrible memories of school. People who call it 'the best days of my life' are obviously those who fit in.
  9. Fantasy can be difficult to do well. I think what annoys me with some books is where the author has got so engrossed in their world building that it overwhelms the story with lots of info dumping. I also get annoyed by too much dropping in of made up languages and lots of unpronounceable names. As @astone2292 said, limitations are important. Once the rules for, say, the use of magic are set up, they shouldn't be changed or contradicted. Too many characters introduced at once can be confusing, although this can be a problem in any genre.
  10. I don’t think I could even start to follow all of those instructions. I did once write a story using the structure of 'The Hero with a Thousand Faces' but it was hard going. I think that trying to do all of these exercises would be more likely to lead me into procrastination rather than actual writing! Its a good idea, though and would probably suit the kind of writer who likes to spend loads of time planning out before actually diving in to the story.
  11. The moral of this story is that you should always have backups made, preferably one on an external device plus one in the cloud! Glad they managed to recover your data, though. It can be a tricky process.
  12. Mawgrim

    Chapter 29

    That turned out well and I’m glad that River View farm is now safe from development. The horses are real characters and Mary turns out to be something of a horse-whisperer. I see lots of work on the horizon for the boys.
  13. Mawgrim


    Here's that list of characters! Follow this link.
  14. Eighth Pass - Fort Weyr Characters Weyrleader and Weyrwomen T'ron & Fidranth (bronze) - Weyrleader - also Wingleader of 'A' Wing. Mardra & Loranth (gold) - Weyrwoman - leads the Queens' Wing. Valli & Kadoth (gold) - Former Weyrwoman when D'gar Impresses Herebeth, who hatches from Kadoth's last clutch of eggs in Turn 43 of the Eighth Pass. Tirelle & Suderoth (gold) - junior weyrwoman and weyrmate of V'dul (bronze Sarneth). Zalna & Gemalth (gold) - youngest junior weyrwoman. Gemalth hatches from Suderoth's clutch in Turn 44. Has relationsh
  15. Mawgrim


    That's not a bad idea. I have a massive list of dragons and riders, their ages, wing positions and character notes in Evernote. I try to only introduce a few new characters at a time, but I guess it is getting to be a rather large cast!
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