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JeffsFort

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35 A Little More Kick Ass

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About JeffsFort

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    Member

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  • Age in Years
    46
  • Gender
    Male
  • Sexuality
    Gay
  • Favorite Genres
    Sci-Fi
  • Location
    Massachusetts
  • Interests
    Writing, web design, auto repair & restoration... being lazy ;)

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  1. There is one red flag that I have never been good at determining how genuine it is but have gotten lucky to spot on occasion. Expressed homophobia. We’ve all seen this and it often hurts...but is it genuine or put on as a smoke screen? That’s the problem with this one. A good example I can think of was a crush I had on this kid Billy when I was about 14. (Name May or may not be made up, you decide.) Billy moves into our neighborhood and he was a dream to look at. Beautifully bronze tanned, slim build, soft wavy sun bleached blond hair, ice blue eyes... OMG thinking about this kid now STILL gives me a shiver. I strategically wormed my way into his daily routine and immediately tried to get a fix on his interests. Like me he loved the beach, his main transportation was his bike or his skateboard just like me, he loved hockey and loved to play street hockey...We had so much in common that I found myself seriously falling in lust with him. I soon decided to test the water a bit and see if he was game. This one day I was watching TV and he came in wearing the usual summer uniform, his yellow “short” bathing suit and ratty sneakers; nothing more. Anyway, I was sitting in a chair near the door and he put his foot on it, giving me a very good view of one of his “boys”. I pretended not to see at first so I could burn the image into my mind before deciding to go for broke. I looked at him and shook my head “You come over to show off?” I laughed and motioned to his shorts. He looked down, and then really looked and realized how exposed he was. This beautiful boy, this kid who for the past couple of months had become my right hand man and had so much in common with me looked back at me and with a dead straight expression replied with “What, are you a f*ck*ng homo?” in a very disgusted tone. The worst part part of it all is never being sure if this is an actual red flag or simply over doing it with the “No Homo” mask that some of us wore when we weren’t ready to come out to the world. That overcompensation that develops when some of us think that it “shows” somehow. Over reaction or not, when you are just as young and just as unsure of how you will be taken, the only way to take it is at face value. I sighed and said “Jesus dude, I was joking.” and got up and left him in my house. I took a walk to the store and got a drink, then went down to the tide wall and watched the ocean for an hour or so and decided that I no longer wanted to spend any time with someone who could be that mean at the drop of a hat. He took the hint and went home. He tried a few times to pretend nothing had happened but, it just hurt to think that he had the potential to hate me because I liked him. A few months later when winter was in full swing, his family moved away. Never knew where he went and he never knew any more about what happened that day other than I saw an ugly side of him that I wasn’t willing to tolerate...no matter how much else we had in common. Until that moment, ugly was miles away from him and then suddenly, it was all I could see in him. I didn’t know it until years later but, I may have been lucky to recognize that as a red flag. If not and he really was that homophobic, back in the 80s he would have been able to cause me some serious grief with others in the neighborhood. It turns out, because I was so blinded by his beauty that I didn’t see, or chose not to see that he was just a jerk to anyone who he didn’t see as cool as himself. Always trust that gut feeling I suppose.
  2. Hahaha, yeah you gotta totally mame us to stop us. Muhahaha Feel better Comsie. I'd pat you on the back but... ow
  3. Aw man, you know when I was a kid and hiding my feelings from everyone, I used to simply assume that anyone I was interested in was straight and there was no way I was ever going to have a boyfriend. Any girl they spoke with felt like competition that I just wasn't going to measure up to. I was jealous of girls just for being girls. Which made me angry cause I liked being a boy, almost as much as I liked other boys. Granted, the locker room or shower in school gave me a better view than they would ever have of just about anyone I ever wanted to see naked or even close to it. Just the fact that I felt that I needed to pretend I wasn't interested just felt so unfair. I guess I grew up in the wrong decade to be comfortably open that way. (The right one for open showers with friends after P.E. though. <grin>)
  4. Well, there have been quite a few Walmart isle performances the past couple of years
  5. Wow. I don't know what exactly this is in response to but I've seen it far too often. I watched people who have shared something that they put a huge piece of themselves into be absolutely crushed by someone who felt it was their right to criticize. I've even watched people who really shined when they found a small piece of the spotlight online just throw away their work and vanish. Just gone. Because of an inconsiderate reader who couldn't do better but felt it their duty to tear apart that work and damn the feelings of the person it destroyed in the process. Over the years, I've gotten my fair share of hate mail. Complaints about my grammar, punctuation useage, poorly executed plot devices, deviations from the expected path... every single one of them came from two types of people. Those who have never written a word and shared it, and those who have posted work online but feel that their methods or beliefs or process... etc... are superior. So they need to prove it by soiling other people's work. I'd like to say that it's easy to just let it roll off. To not be affected. To not care that X thinks I suck at what I share. I'm human. We all are. Comet, I can think of no one who has put as much of themselves into their work as you have over the years. I personally am grateful to have found you and your work as it has seriously impacted me in my own corner of this zoo we call an internet. If you can't let it roll off, we will understand. For every one jerk out there, there are 20 who would be devastated if you dropped all and walked away. Keep that in mind when these people troll you and if they become too persistent, we want names and addresses *HUGZ*
  6. Difficult... Puhleeze! How often do you get the opportunity to work with someone who you have always looked up to? Seriously. For that alone, I would repair a hundred Imagine-Magazines (don't get any ideas). Over the years, through all the crap either of us has been through and the fact that we are still here. My prized possession, in the end, is a friendship that I treasure and a brother who I will be there for if and when I am ever needed. Besides, what kind of little brother would you be if you weren't a little difficult. LMAO! *HUGZ* I am still waiting on Stealth you know... Just sayin' ;)
  7. Awesome! Can't wait to see what you have in store! No seriously, I can't wait. Email it or something ;) *HUGZ* Happy Anniversary and welcome back to the web IM!!!
  8. This looks awesome! Edit: aw, that’s all there is. I was hoping it was a trailer. Really well done tho.
  9. Racism is always an ugly topic as it’s fostered by ugly people with ugly virtues. I generally avoid discussing it unless I happen to cross paths with someone who doesn’t hide the fact that because of their race, sexual orientation, social status, underwear size... that they are somehow superior to another. It drives me nuts but there are times that this person has been taught these beliefs and has never questioned their teaching. I usually respond to comments that insinuate that “so and so” is someone to look down upon, with confusion. “Oh really? Why?” You would be surprised how many people don’t have an answer to such a simple question. It does leave the floor wide open to start the discussion why I don’t feel the same and once in a great while, you can see them question themselves. Not often enough but, I’ll take my wins wherever and whenever I can. I don’t see why a discussion can’t happen but, keep an eye out. Feelings can be unintentionally be hurt and misunderstandings happen too easily when text fails to relay the underlying intent and emotion of some comments, which happens all too often. *HUGZ*
  10. JeffsFort

    Chapter 3

    It seems like a lifetime ago when I first read this story. All these years later it is still so powerful. God I wish I could write like this. Hehehe...
  11. JeffsFort

    Chapter 9

    So, I decided to start all over and realized part way in “wasn’t Taryn’s song like 3 parts? And now it’s 9!?!” So, I read on and learn so much more about what happened after Taryn decided to take Trevor up on his offer. Now, I loved getting more of a look into this time period but... I had already accepted the old “ending” and this is now hanging. I love ya Comet but, you gotta do something about this. Hehehe!
  12. Okay... I spoke too soon. Found it on YouTube in it’s entirety. (Their own website doesn’t mention where to find it. I just took a blind stab and got lucky.) I watched it and agree, we need to see this, all of us. I think the idea is amazing and maybe that message will be heard by even more in this fashion. Removed by reality, the typical stigmas may appear to be far enough removed for those unable to find that common ground. The basic idea that those who are homophobic would end out pulling for the ones who are being discriminated against for having those values... It could be enough for them to make the connection to senseless hate that is very real here and now. What an excellent film. “I’m not crying, you’re crying!” *HUGZ*
  13. Yeah Comet... Have you actually seen the movie itself? I would love too but there is no way without a planned screening evidently. I will probably contact the production staff and see if they plan on making physical copies or digital download purchases a possibility. I mean, I would absolutely be willing to buy a copy of it based on the premise and the trailer alone and I’d bet I’m not alone. *HUGZ*
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