JJQuinn

I appreciate that. It's the chapter that wrecked me the first time I rewrote it and moreso this time. I try to write with as much skill as I can and am always happy when readers feel I achieved that goal but this was a "suspiciously wet eyes" chapter for me. Ben is definitely as strong. He gets a bit of an eye opener here. Not that he believes you can "pray away the pain " necessarily but living life with someone who has struggles is very diffimarent than hust being their friend or spiritual advisor. People who love those with emotional trauma and mental illnesses have to live it just as much as their partners in their own way and sometimes they aren't as prepared as they think they are. Sometimes we are hard to love but communication is key and eventually Sam will get it together! We basically have 2 chapters to go and then all done! Then the segue before AIBO [Max and Roman] which is their true HEA.

Thank you for that. I always aim for writing of as high quality as I can manage though i did have suspicious water in my eyes a few times for this chapter. Sam will spiral a bit but it has a HEA ending. Well more like a happy for now at the end but there's a segue piece after this that's a novella 1.5 that includes most of the characters in this one that takes place on one important day and it's from their individual POV so we get so we get glimpses into who they are in their own eyes not just Sam's POV. A lot of flashbacks to Halos just from different perspectives and how they feel about love with their own histories. We will get there! Sometimes we just need to hit rock bottom to get back up.

Thanks Al. I'm glad you got through it despite it being hard. It was hard for me and I'm detached from the veteran aspect. I tried to put disclaimers because I know you and a couple others who follow me are veterans and I wanted to be sensitive to that. It just didn't allow me past a certain word count so I want able to five the summary spoilers I wanted to so people could either jump to the ** or skip it entirely. The next chapters pretty much summarize what happened here through character dialog but I know sometimes we all get transfixed by a train wreck. Thank you for reading and letting me know I hit the mark even if it was painful. And since I'm a chicken, I will unashamedly send you as many ghost hugs as possible from my side of the world [something I used to tell my little students during civid when we were virtual becauze achools were shut down-you cant see them but close your eyes tight and you might feel them]❤️

I'm so sorry. I cannot even begin to imagine that pain and difficulty. My situation was very different , but for the longest time I couldn't be alone around anyone I didn't know, especially men even if it was in a public gathering like a party or bar certain sounds and smells, even now, made me gag. I will never be able to wear one particular perfume I used to love, without getting physically sick and that was over 20 years ago. It takes so much time and just putting one foot in front of the other. Keep doing that! All we have is the life we are given even when it may not work out exactly the way we want🩵 Thanks for sharing but please don't feel you need to relieve that. You gave enough!

Heh..Whelans not a weenie anymore... he wasn't even Whelan last time. I'm sure you remember that. New character life for sure. Same for Max. Sometimes subtle changes make the most inpact.

Thanks Cane. I appreciate that. Good work i hope but...so brutal to write. I'm hoping as I said in the disclaimer for the chapter and in every chapter as a standing disclaimer, that veterans if they choose to read this chapter will be able to relate without feeling I dramatized pain just for a good story. As writer we all need to suspend belief sometimes but i try to do it tastefully and respectfully. That's why sam mentions here and there that things aren't as easy as the movies make it seem. Our veterans risk it all..they deserve far more respect then they receive. Believe me...I'm the author and it took me forever to do the rewrite because it made me sad. PTSD for veterans looks very different from other kinds for trauma from what I understand having spoken to veterans for the original book, but my own understanding of my trauma and those who struggle with their own especially revolving around family and abusive situations whether physical or just emotional ravaging is pretty consistent that pain in pain. And it's exhausting so I'll be finishing JKS as soon as I can get into a fluffy sexy judgment (not happening yet) and probably posting a the mostly done shortish chapter [16 pages as opposed to my usual 30+ average) of Studa because while it's not "happy" since Noah needs to get himself together, it isn't gut wrenching drama. COTL's third chapter is halfway done. I changed it all around so it has to be heavily revised and then the 4th chapter is Aiden’s before we switch back to Sev. Originally the 3rd chapter was a drunk Sev and then a surprising ooo so that's what that was and then ahem horizontal. I started it during the original halos so there was too much unintended parallel and now that I've mapped out the story fully it's completely different and more solid. Thankfully we know JFH will clarify a lot of things [though it needs some changes due to how drastically Halos changed] This is a hard chapter. The next one is still rough and I started adding a new scene where Sam tries to get it together with Ben directly before he goes to see Tara and Ben shuts him down then leaves. It's a little tighter after the Whelan conversation because it's not as easy. He needs to put in the work of finding counseling. Not an easy button. But yep. We are almost to the end. We started out dark and hard and slowly we found hope and laughter and now are back wheew we started because Sam didn't assress things like he should. As you said the PTSD doesn't go away. Trauma doesn't. Bipolar 1 disorder doesn't. We just learn to accept and then do what we have to do to make the life we are given work for us because it's the only one we have. Hopefully we will hear from some other folks. It's been crickets for a large part of the series but maybe when it's finished people will have opinions. Have a good day!

Part of the problem is how little we understand about the ultimate betrayal of the body when it rebels against itself... —Charles Bronson SOCIAL media loves to bombard us with visuals of positive affirmations and inspirational messages meant to sell us the idea that limitless happiness in the world is up for grabs, available to anyone who wants it simply because they have a meme generated, Pollyanna attitude. None of the heavy shit that comes our way, none of the struggles, none of th

I fixed it! Just can't figure out how to attach it. But it's fixed! Thank you again for the catch! You guys are sometimes my much needed extra eyeballs.

I fixed it! Just can't figure out how to attach it. But it's fixed! Thank you again for the catch!

Hehe they are just taking a nap.. [she says as she goes back to edit chapter 21] lol tha ja for the reminder. I was distracted by chapter 21... there's going to be disclaimers but also a brief summary of it because it might be too intense for some readers. It's borderline too intense for the author and I've written it before 😞

Hah! Thanks for the catch lmao! I need to edit chapter 21 tomorrow and turn off that pot after they take a nap lol then get up for dinner

LOL thanks Cane. It's a necessary evil... I grew up with the bodice ripper Victorian novels before Bridgerton was even a thing 😆 🤣 😂 😹 used to sneak them from my mother's nightstand. My mother who hates the word moist btw...no accounting for taste 😆 Yes sir..you know what is coming next...I'm elbows deep in it now and while it was tough to write the first time and I thought I'd be mostly just transferring it over, I should know myself better by now... it's brutal and I'll need a happy happy joy joy chapter of something else after I'm done even though I might get some fists shaking in the air at me from my silent readers 😆 after the end of chapter 20. Then again, chapter 21 isn't that much better till the end 😉 You make me smile that as much as you state you have a language barrier, you always pick up on those subtle nuances I toss in. It's your official super power! Mmm Max will need a friend going forward and Tara will give a boot to the but as often as she does hugs when necessary. I'm glad you got a chance to enjoy your coffee and a read 😀

😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂 that is probably one of the best compliments I've ever gotten Gary! Thank you. Hehe tattoos..... my husband is terrified of needles yet covered in ink. I have a few, but there is meaning behind them. His...not so much lol. I probably won't describe every single one of Sev's because he is covered but I will mention some.

Thanks Gary. This is probably the longest work I've done. It's almost done but still a few more chapters to go.

I appreciate that very much Gary. I try. Too many stories in the head and not enough time. ❤️