A New Life - 24. Dynamics

Prez and I were on cloud nine by the time we got home Friday night. It really was a fantastic night. Doug and Brian's band, appropriately named "Flashback", played mostly songs from the sixties and seventies. During most songs, I was reminded of the nights my parents would stay up late dancing to music like that. They sounded that good. One of the things we talked about was what made them sound so good. In my garage they sounded almost as good but with Jim and Al it was way better. Was it the sound system or the additional vocals or the many years of rehearsal? It was probably all three, but still there was something more that we couldn't define.

After a few minutes of silence, I said, "Ya know what was weird? Doug saying that I've always loved singing."

"I knew that. Your mom told me how you were humming and babbling baby talk to the radio when you were a little tike."

"Yeah, but did Doug know that story too?"

"I guess. He said he's known your dad for years."

"I'm still a little embarrassed about it but it was so much easier than I thought," I said, then chuckled for a moment before I continued, "guess I'll just have to turn my back on audiences, close my eyes and pretend I'm here in our bedroom."

Leaning back, Prez studied my smile then we both said, "Boing!" and giggled hysterically.

Talking with Prez seemed easier than ever now that some of our own fears were being lifted. It was one of those nights where I wanted to be absorbed by him, to make him an even greater part of me than he already was. I was so happy with him for finding a way to cope with his dad and, in the process, helping Derrick out too.

He was beyond pleased with me when I told him how easy it was to sing publicly. For a few seconds there at the bar, I really believed that I was in our bedroom. Doug seemed to have this natural ability to push aside my fears and show me just how insignificant they really were. It was as if he were reminding me, making my memories clear and putting the audience far off in the distance.

There was so much more Prez wanted to give. I wish he wouldn’t feel that he needed to give me more or try harder. In my own opinion as well as my parents, he was living day to day very well since the accident. Maybe since he lost his mom he was simply reassuring himself and me. When he told me these things, I looked up at him, finger combing the hair out of his face and said, "All we can do is try a little bit every day. Sometimes it won't be easy. Other times, like now, it’s real easy." Pulling him closer, I added, "You know all that you've done for me Prez. Now it's even better. I love waking up with you, getting ready for the day and making the bed with you. Every minute I spend with you, no matter what it is we're doing, that's just perfect for me."

Leaning over, he kissed me then said;"I want to be with you too. You know every detail of what comes into my mind as soon as possible. It's like I need to tell you and couldn’t hide it if I wanted to. No matter what might be on your mind, I need to hear everything from you too."

"That's how I know this is so right Prez, we don’t need to show off."

"And if one of us does exaggerate a little, we immediately goof on each other."

"It makes things fun," I said, pulling him closer. He couldn't stop hugging me for the longest time, just squeezing tightly until I started to giggle and he released his grip.

A painful jolt shot through my leg. Shifting around, I said, "This freakin’ leg is pissing me off! I can’t stay comfortable for more than a few minutes at a time."

Glancing from my bum leg to my face, he said, "Please tell me that you’re ready to see the doctor. It seems to me that you’re loosing some mobility the last few days."

I sighed then said, "Yeah, I know. Its like the knee is getting better but higher up at my hip it’s getting worse."

"We’ll talk with your folks in the morning, ok?"

"I guess. I'm just in no great hurry to see that doctor again." The guy sure didn’t seem to pay much attention when I was gritting my teeth in pain last time.

"Would you like me to go in the exam room with you?"

For a moment I thought that I'd like him there. But at the same time, I didn't want to make a scene in front of him. "Last time it wasn't a pretty site. Would you want to do that?" I asked.

Prez only smiled at me then snuggled up close. "If you want me there, it's a done deal," he said. Soon, I heard him breathing deeply. Shortly thereafter, I fell asleep too.

We had stayed up past three in the morning so it was almost noon by the time we woke up, showered and joined the rest of the family. Having missed breakfast by several hours, we thought we would raid the refrigerator for lunch but Drew and Corey had beat us there. Prez let Rush out the back door then joined me in the kitchen.

Corey stood behind Drew and it was very obvious that the contents of the fridge were the furthest thing from his mind as he peered down at Drew’s butt.

Looking up from the fridge for a second, Drew said, "Mike called a little while ago bro." Corey smiled at Prez and I for a moment then, when Drew’s attention returned to the fridge, he started making fake rubbing gestures, as if Drew’s ass was Aladdin’s lamp. Prez held in a belly laugh and walked over to the back door then went outside. Seconds later I heard him laughing.

Smiling at Corey, I wondered how my little brother managed to find himself a boyfriend that was as sexually outgoing as he was reserved. Holding up one finger, I signaled that Corey should grab my brother's butt after I left the immediate area. Then I asked Drew, "What did he say?"

"He and Derrick went over to that guy Doug’s house," Drew answered. "You could meet them there if ya want."

"Cool," I said. "Where’s mom and dad?"

Drew answered, "Mom had a few errands to run. She’ll be back soon but dad’s in the garage. Are you and Prez hungry?"

"Yeah, what's in there?"

"Hot Pockets, frozen pizza, cheese and left-over taco fixins."

"We've still got tortilla chips. Why don't you throw some nachos together?" I suggested, as I turned to leave the room.

Corey said, "Sounds like a plan to me. 'Specially if there's some hot peppers on top."

Then I heard Drew yell, "Whoa! Dammit!" Turning around, I saw Corey backing away from Drew. Corey was laughing so hard it was barely audible, just an occasional gasp for air.

"I should've known that was coming when you mentioned the hot peppers," Drew said, as he walked towards Corey.

As much as I wanted to watch the two of them, I turned and left to go talk with my dad. Looking out the back door for a few moments, I saw Prez facing away from the house and trying to teach Rush not to jump up on people. Prez would bellow "no!" and tell Rush to sit, then he'd step back and Rush would get up and jump around him again. I watched this happen a second time then went to the garage.

My dad stopped what he was doing when he saw me come in. Silently, he watched me hobble over to him. He curled his lips together like he always does when he's thinking. Then he said, "You have a doctor appointment Monday morning, mister."

The only time I recall ever surprising my parents was when I told them I was gay. Every other time, they always seem to have the answers before I even ask the question but somehow it still surprises me. Nodding, I said, "I guess I kinda have to get it checked again, huh?"

He sighed then went back to work on the piece of garden hose he was fixing and said, "You've been walking like a peg leg the last two days. It looks damned uncomfortable. How do you feel?"

"The knee is better I think but my thigh is real stiff. I can stand for a while, sit for a while, lay down for a while but eventually everything gets uncomfortable," I answered.

"Your mom made the appointment yesterday. You'll go to work with her and see the doc at ten," he said and stopped working. Turning to me, he said, "Keith, you really need to pay a bit more attention to your body. It's been telling you something all week and we could've had you back to the doctor sooner."

"I know dad, I just didn't enjoy his last exam too much, ya know?"

He nodded and said, "The thing is you're still growing. Any number of things can happen to bones and joints while they're growing. This could be nothing more than an annoyance or you could have something that effects the rest of your life."

"It wasn't too bad most of New Year's day but last night in the car was the most uncomfortable. Today it's about the same."

"Show me where," He said, and I cupped my hand around the top of my thigh.

Surprised he asked, "That whole area?"

I nodded and said, "Further back too."

We only had to look at each other for a few seconds before he caught my meaning and winced. "Do us all a favor and take it slow and easy today and tomorrow. Is everything else okay?"

"Sure dad. Why do you ask?"

"Where's Preston?"

"Out back trying to train Rush," I smiled.

"How's he doing?" he asked.

For a moment I had to wonder why he asked since he saw and talked with Prez almost every day. Then I realized he was asking about Mrs. O'Brain. "He's doing great," I answered, "He seems to have gone through all the stages you and mom told me about. I think maybe the other night it finally hit home."

"It's only been a little over two months, I'd expect it to happen again," he warned.

I nodded and sighed then said, "Maybe. But ya know what's weird?"

"What?"

"I want him to come to me when he's his saddest."

"Why is that weird?"

"You'd think it would be the opposite."

"Hell no! If you were hiding from the person you say you love when he needs you most then your mom or I would have something to say about that. Remember when John had his tonsils out a few years ago and how scared he was? What was I supposed to do, turn my back and just let him be scared?"

I nodded, telling myself yeah, I want to see every side of Prez, at every extreme. Immediately I began daydreaming about Prez as my dad sat there smiling at me for a few moments.

"What's Drew doing?" my dad asked, waking me from my trance.

I chuckled and said, "Making nachos for lunch."

Confused, my dad asked, "Why is making nachos funny?"

I turned to leave and chuckled, "You had to be there."

Drew and Corey where at the kitchen counter when I returned, feeding each other nachos and purposefully missing their mouths, spilling melted cheese over their faces. It sure looked like fun but three's company so I went outside with Prez. Hearing the door open, he stopped what he was doing and came over to me. It's such a tremendous feeling to see him smile and walk up to me.

Rush came running over too and Prez said, "We got us a stubborn but very smart hound. He understands sit but when I tell him to stay he looks so sad, like I'm abandoning him as I back away."

"Maybe you could use some kibble for a reward," I suggested.

"Yeah, I forgot about that," Prez said, then he looked at me funny for a moment. "Ya know, you’re even standing a little crooked, leaning to one side," he commented. Then, wrapping my arm over his shoulder, he led me back in the house. "I want you to rest as much as possible today. What did your dad say?"

Stepping inside I answered, "Mom made the appointment for Monday already."

Drew and Corey had given up on the nachos and were taking turns licking each other's faces clean. For a second there I thought Drew was going to push Corey away. Seeing it was only Prez and I, he still blushed but continued having fun.

Prez sat me down at the dining room table and instructed, "Kick back here. I’ll feed the hound then us."

I was about to protest and tell him that I could help but stopped myself. Watching Prez move around the kitchen, I began thinking. He could play waiter while I sit with my leg elevated if he wants. Most definitely I’d rather be beside him but decided to take my dad's advice and pay more attention to the signals I was getting from my leg. And unfortunately those signals were bumming me out more with each passing day. Even with it elevated, the damned thing hurt so I put it back down again.

Finished feeding Rush, Prez came over and asked, "How about tuna fish sandwiches for lunch?" Seeing me fidgeting around, he frowned and, without waiting for an answer about lunch, asked, "You’re really uncomfortable, aren’t you?" I nodded and he reached for my hand. Helping me up, he asked, "How about you chill out on the couch?"

Prez helped me to the living room, gave me the TV remote then went to make lunch.

While I flipped through channels, I started to feel worse for making him worry about me. I’m a pretty big guy and in really good shape so I felt like a big baby, letting one injury that might've taken a week or so to heal turn into a big friggin' deal. If I get really sick with a cold or the flu I can be a miserable bastard too. That’s not what I wanted to show him. When he returned with our sandwiches, I told him what I was thinking.

Prez sighed then said, "We’ve always learned from each other and helped each other from the very first day. The last few months you’ve helped me non-stop. Now you need some help and I want to help you."

After we had finished eating, I told Prez that Mike and Derrick were over at Doug and Brian’s, suggesting that if he wanted to, we could go there too.

"Not today," Prez said, "I’m not gonna make you get in the car. Today we'll hang around the house."

For the rest of the day, Prez and I wandered between the living room and our bedroom. Mostly we watched movies on HBO or listened to CD’s. Every few hours he’d check his watch, hand me two Tylenol and a glass of water. Later that night, a short while after we had finished dinner, Mike and Derrick stopped by. Prez and I were in our room watching Cartoon Network with the sound muted while CD's played in the background.

"Hey buds," Mike said, walking in our room, "Wish ya could've made it to Brian & Doug's today."

Derrick followed saying;"We learned a lot. Keith dude, we really kinda needed you there. Prez, you would've loved the stuff Doug had us listening to and singing."

Prez flashed me a playful grin, sat back down far closer to me than he had been and said, "we sorta had better ideas."

Mike shook his head saying, "If you're not careful you'll both be needing wheelchairs on Monday morning when school starts."

"I've got a doctor appointment so I'll either be in for half the day or maybe not at all," I explained. Then I asked, "What sort of things did Doug and Brain teach you?"

"Oh dude!" Derrick said excitedly, "So much it will take months for us to absorb it all."

Smiling at Derrick's enthusiasm, Mike said, "We spent the first hour at least just listening to old tunes and talking about how they were recorded. Then we focused on harmonizing vocals for pretty much the rest of the afternoon."

Derrick said, "They had this old Les Paul and Mary Ford record. Prez, did you know that Les Paul not only designed one of the all time best guitars but he was also one of the fathers of multi-track recording?"

"Nope, I don't know much about how multi-track recording is actually done," Prez answered.

Mike reached in his pocket saying, "We made a tape of some of what we did today," and pulled out a cassette.

"Very cool!" Prez said, getting up to play the tape.

"You wouldn't believe the old songs they had us listening to," Derrick giggled as Prez loaded the cassette deck.

"Don't tell me Mister Distortion played ballads!" Prez teased.

"All ballads, all day," Mike admitted.

Derrick said, "I don't know if we'd want to play some of this stuff but it was a kick doing it."

The tape started with Brian speaking;"It's the difference in sound volume and pitch that makes the difference. If you need to change the key signature to sing something comfortably then do it."

"While your playing, accent the grove. Remember the dance of the graphic equalizer LED's. The silent moments are just as important as the loud and there's variation all the way through. That goes for any song, classical to heavy metal," Doug instructed.

There were a few moments silence on the tape then Brian said, "As Tears Go By," then the sound of acoustic guitar.

Mike took hold of Derrick's hand and explained, "Derrick singing, Doug on bass, Brian on synths. I got to play Doug's Martin D-35! I almost came in my pants!"

I listened for a few minutes. This was one of the songs I'd rarely heard on the radio. Neither of my parents have the record that I know of. "Dudes, it sounds awesome," was the first thing I could say. It did too.

Mike said, "It's recorded digitally onto a computer then mixed down onto cassette."

"Four songs in four hours. The music was done with vocals live. Then I redid the vocals," Derrick added.

"It was more like four songs in two hours and another two hours mixing," Mike said.

Prez sat quietly listening for a while then said, "This song is perfect. Derrick, good job man. It's great."

"I guess I'll take a break some where," I said.

"I was thinking more of adding your voice too," Derrick said. "I'll need to get a headset.

"We could add you at any time, bro. Doug's computer has a sixteen-track limit because of disk space, he said. We've only used about five tracks. Prez, we could punch out Doug's bass parts and add yours. We could have done that today. But were you there? Did you ever show up? Noooo, you dudes grew roots!" Mike said, and accented his annoyance by nudging the bed. Prez and I just laughed.

We listened to the rest of the song then Brian announced, "Every Breath You Take".

As the music started, Derrick said, "Mike sings and played three guitars on this one."

"Oh dudes! I played the vintage Les Paul and a vintage Telecaster AND a vintage Stratocaster, four vintage guitars in one day. I almost hated playing my Ibanez on the next song," Mike said. Then he flashed a wicked smirk at Derrick that lasted just a few seconds too long. Derrick returned his glance with a look of determination as if Prez and I weren't there. It was obvious what they intended to do later. Then I realized that I never saw them let go of their hands once and wondered if maybe they had already and wanted more! Damned leg, I thought, someone get me a saw!

Prez and I smiled and said, "Boing!" at exactly the same time.

The next two songs were One More Night followed by Love Walks In. Both songs were instrumental and backup vocals only. I was handed the lyrics to both songs and easily coaxed into giving both songs a shot. One More Night I needed to listen to again and get the feeling of the lyrics but I knew Love Walks In. While I was singing Prez, Mike and Derrick continued talking about the songs and how they were recorded. It didn't bother me that they were only half-paying attention. I thought that was pretty cool, in fact. Just let me do my little part the best I can. Around ten o'clock, Corey and Drew came in and said good night. Before Mike and Derrick left for home they made us promise to join them at Brian and Doug's place the next day.

Keith fell asleep early while we were watching The Hunt for Red October on cable TV. I slipped out of bed and went to go talk with his parents for a while. They asked me what hurt, where it hurt and how bad. From my perspective, he was just extremely uncomfortable and annoyed about the whole situation. We were all worried about Keith. All we could do was get him through Sunday then he would see the doctor on Monday and we would know what the situation was. Sliding back under the blankets an hour or so later I quickly dozed off.

I heard the mooing of cows in the dream I was having before I woke up. That’s what I thought I had heard. As I became more awake, I kept hearing the sounds. My eyes popped open and yes, I was hearing sounds but they weren’t moos, they were moans. Keith’s moans.

"Keith, you awake?" I asked.

Turning his face towards me, he moaned, "Uh huh, it hurts." His breathing was short and fast.

Sitting upright, I asked, "What hurts?"

"Everything," he gasped, "my whole upper leg, my crotch, my lower stomach. It’s real bad. Ten times worse than being kicked in the nuts. I can’t move Prez."

Before he finished what he was saying, I was out of bed and putting on clothes. The panicked expression on his face spoke volumes and had my ass moving at the speed of light. I looked at the clock. It was seven thirty. Going around to Keith's side of the bed, I pulled the blankets off him and asked, "Can I look?"

"I can't lift my butt."

Kneeling on the floor beside the bed, I said, "I'll slide my hand up under your boxers, k?"

"Ok."

Leaning over the bed, I slid my hand gently up the inside of his thigh under the cloth of his boxers and peeked inside. There was no visible discoloration. I couldn't have moved my hand any slower or had a lighter touch. My fingers were just grazing above the skin until I had no other choice but to touch him. When my fingers slid between his scrotum and thigh, he winced and gasped loudly. It didn't feel the same as it had two days earlier. There seemed to be more mass from his groin to the top of his hip. He was definitely swollen.

"Hold on babe, I’m gonna go get your dad," I said, and Keith grunted something as I raced from the room. I knocked on his parent's bedroom door and went inside before anyone said to come in.

A minute later, dad and I were back with Keith. Dad said, "We need to get you up and to the hospital." We tried to help him to move towards the edge of the bed to put his feet on the floor but that only made him scream out in agony. My insides expanded then turned to fluid seeping out of the soles of my feet when I heard him scream like that.

Have you ever been so scared that you couldn’t cry and you’re shaking so much that your muscles ache? That’s how I felt for a long while after Keith screamed.

His dad said;"If we can’t move you there’s only one other choice."

In tears, Keith said, "Yeah, what ever, just make it stop hurting."

Mr. Hundser quickly left the room while I stayed with Keith. A few minutes later both Mr. and Mrs. Hundser were dressed and in the bedroom. Everything went into hyper-speed for a while until the ambulance showed up. I finished getting dressed, Mrs. Hundser woke Drew and John, Rush was yipping in his crate wondering why there was a party going on and he couldn’t come out to play. Then it was like slow motion while the paramedics tried to get Keith out of the bed and onto the gurney. They decided to get the backboard. Sliding it underneath Keith, they picked him up and got him on the gurney.

Keith’s mom went in the ambulance with Keith while Mr. Hundser, Drew, John and I followed in the Suburban. On the way to the hospital, a California highway patrol car turned on his lights and tried to pull us over. Mr. Hundser whispered, "He can kiss my ass because I’m not pulling over." The CHP car pulled up along side us and Mr. Hundser pointed to the ambulance we were following. He followed us all the way to the hospital.

Early on a Sunday morning the emergency room seemed very quiet until we arrived. Mrs. Hundser knew everyone by his or her first names. She went behind the admission counter, picked up one of the phones and called someone while I followed the paramedics and Keith into one of the examination areas. Two more big guys showed up. Four men picked up the backboard and Keith, moving him from the ambulance gurney to the emergency room table. A few seconds later, Mr. and Mrs. Hundser came in the room.

"Dr. Prenderdast is on the way," Keith's mom said.

I stood a few feet back from the exam table Keith was laying on and looked around the emergency area. This was the hospital my mom was at too. She may have been in this very room after the accident. Tears welled up in my eyes as I wished I could've been here with her when she was brought from the accident. By the time I was notified and got to the hospital, she had already been moved to the intensive care ward. Even though she was unconscious, I still wish I could've been here. I looked over at Keith and saw him watching me.

His mom looked at him and asked, "What is this macho crap? You know how I despise early morning surprises."

"I didn't know it would get like this," Keith said in his own defense. Then I saw his hand reaching out for me. Walking towards him, I saw a question in his eyes asking me if I could stay with him followed by a hopeful expression when I took his hand.

Memories of my mom's accident were all around me. I wanted so much to get the hell out of that room but Keith needed me there with him. Closing my eyes and wiping the tears away, I nodded and gripped his hand tightly. Looking up at his mom, I said, "There was nothing macho about it. He just doesn't want to have the doctor manhandling him again."

Taking Keith's other hand, she looked down at him and said;"He's going to have to examine you. That means bending and flexing joints."

Suddenly there was a flurry of activity in the hall. Another stretcher was brought in with doctors and nurses seemingly all shouting at the same time. In a few moments it became obvious that the patient was in bad shape. A woman drew the curtains between the two exam areas and said to us, "There's too many people, one of you needs to wait outside." Then this petite young woman that a good gust of wind might've blown over pushed both Mr. and Mrs. Hundser out of the way and towards the door. Mrs. Hundser shouted, "I'll be back when the doctor gets here." The woman then closed the curtain around the area Keith and I were in while people scurried around beyond.

"You're trembling," Keith said.

Pulling over a stool and leaning over him I said, "I'm okay, it's just this place. How are you feeling?"

"Okay, as long as I don't try to move my legs. If I move my right leg too much it hurts. When I tried to twist and turn before, that hurt like hell. Maybe we should've gone out yesterday."

"Maybe," I said, then thought back to when I first noticed him getting more uncomfortable. "You seemed okay, moving around and all until Friday night."

"Yeah, the car ride to Anaheim."

Remembering what we did before that, I smiled down at him and said, "Oh my God. I put you in the hospital!"

He laughed and said, "Next time we gotta get more mileage out of six hours!"

I got serious for a second and asked, "How did you feel Friday morning, before you woke me up?"

Noticing my forced smile, he answered, "Stiff," then flashed his patented mischievous grin. "I'd do it all again in a heartbeat anyway. Don't forget I still owe you from last Saturday morning. I've been thinking up something special for you lover."

In a matter of maybe ten seconds he turned seriously concerned into seriously horny! All I could do was look deep into his eyes. He wasn't faking it just to alleviate my concern and he wasn't teasing. A shiver ran down my spine wondering what "something special" meant exactly. Leaning forward against the table, I kissed him. His tongue slid over my lips softly then snaked its way into my open mouth, my own tongue greeting his like a welcomed visitor. It's so great how we've learned to communicate our feelings with blinks and breathing alone.

"I'm worried about you, babe."

"I'll be okay. I'm just scared knowing he's gonna hurt me again."

"I'll be right here. Hold on tight."

"I will."

From beyond the curtain we heard, "Groin pain is a frequent complaint of adolescents, but the cause is often difficult to diagnose because the many different parts of the hip can produce similar types of pain." We broke our kiss and looked up as the curtains opened. As they walked in, Dr. Prenderdast continued his explanation to Mrs. Hundser. "Conditions ranging from a benign muscle pull or tendon strain to a potentially catastrophic stress fracture of the neck of the femur can cause similar types of pain. A slipped femoral epiphysis, fractured femoral epiphysis, fractured hip secondary to osteoporosis or the skiing injury, tendonitis, muscle sprain, bursitis. The osteoporosis could be due to endocrine disorders, renal failure, hepatic disease, malabsorption syndrome, rheumatoid arthritis, and malignancy."

That last word echoed in my mind loud and clear. We both knew what malignancy meant - cancer.