All We Have Now - 2. Part 2

I was woken by a loud groan and then I felt something biting me in the arm. I screamed in terror, jumped backwards and fell to the floor.

"HELP! TROY! HELP!" I yelled, but then I heard hysterical laughter coming from the bed and realized that it was Troy who had bitten me. I got up and glared at him.

"Oh shit, that was priceless," he said, a little out of breath.

"How could you do that do me? I was scared to death," I said indignantly.

"Oh relax, it was just a joke. Don't get your panties all in a bunch."

I pulled up my sleeve and found a bite mark on my arm.

"Look what you've done, I'm bleeding."

"You'll live."

"I think I deserve an apology."

"How about I give you the finger instead and you shut the fuck up already?" he said and flipped me off. I quickly got back into bed, turned away from him and hid under the covers.

"I will stay here till you've apologized," I said.

"Whatever."

I heard him get up, push the wardrobe aside and leave.

I stayed in bed all morning. I felt stupid, but I couldn't let him win.

Around noon he came back and put something on the nightstand.

"Eat this, you sulky-ass bitch," he demanded. When I didn't react he sighed heavily. "Please?" he said, annoyed.

I lifted the blanket a little and peeked out. There was a steaming bowl with what smelled like tomato soup. I loved tomato soup. I quickly grabbed it and pulled it under the covers. I stuck my finger in it and licked it off. It was the perfect temperature, so I started to slurp it. It tasted amazing.

"I'm not gonna apologize for a stupid joke," he said.

"So you're admitting that it was stupid?"

"No, this is stupid. You're stupid."

"Then I'm not coming out."

"Fine by me," he said and left.

He was back an hour or so later and sat down on the bed.

"I won't do anything like that again, alright?" he said and sighed.

"And?"

"And nothing."

"Are you sorry?"

"You're gonna be sorry if you don't stop this soon."

"Why? What are you going to do to me?" I asked nervously.

"Nothing! Jesus! Look, I've searched the house earlier and I've found a couple of things you've missed, so I have every reason to be mad at you now. Do you really want me mad at you or should we just call it even instead?"

I thought about it for a second and then pulled down the blanket.

"What did you find and where? I was pretty thorough."

"I've found this in the little boy's room," he said and showed me a Snickers-bar. My eyes widened and I reached for it, but he held it over his head, so I got on my knees and tried to grab it. He pushed me back and I landed on my butt.

"Give it to me," I demanded.

"And reward you for dropping the ball? I don't think so. This is mine. You can watch me eat it later."

"I'll give you $100 for it," I said, determined.

"You still have money?" he asked, frowning.

"Yeah, it felt wrong to just throw it away."

"Damn, what other garbage do you have in your backpack?"

"It's not completely useless. I could've made a fire with it."

"You've never made a fire?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Well, once, on a tree, but it burned through the branches faster than I thought and fell down. It attracted monsters and I was stuck in that tree for five days and almost died."

"Jesus, you really are stupid."

"It wasn't my proudest moment."

"Yeah, no shit."

"So, $100 for the candy bar?"

"No thanks, what else you got?"

"I could wash your clothes for you."

"I've already done that, yours too by the way. You're welcome."

"Oh, thank you... I know. I'll cut your hair."

"Fine, what else?"

"That's not enough for you?"

"Nope."

"What more do you want?"

"You know what I want."

"No way, you can't have that."

"I can't? How about I rape the shit out of you to see if that's true?" My eyes widened with fear and they were starting to water, so I blinked a few times. I couldn't believe he would say something like that after what he had put me through the night before. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, but I was still pretty scared. He sighed heavily and threw the candy bar in my lap.

"Thank you," I said meekly.

I leaned against the headboard, removed the wrapper, held it to my nose and then took a small bite out of it. I tasted so good, I closed my eyes and moaned softly.

For the next fifteen minutes or so I was in heaven. When I had eaten half of it I offered the rest to Troy.

"That's alright, chocolate isn't really my thing."

"Thanks... Hey, you seem to be in a relatively good mood today. What's wrong?"

"I'm just really hung over and my head is swimming."

"And that's a good thing?"

"Yeah, cause I can't really concentrate on how dire and hopeless life is."

"Your life isn't that dire anymore, you have me now, remember? You should jump for joy all day long because of that."

"Oh yeah, how about I make you jump?" he said and reached for me. I flinched, jerked back and looked at him fearfully. He frowned deeply.

"Stop being scared of me!" he demanded angrily.

"I'm sorry," I said nervously.

"I wasn't gonna hurt you! Jesus!"

"What were you going to do?"

"Come here."

I scooted closer and he grabbed my stomach really roughly for a second.

"Oww!" I cried out.

"For fuck's sake, that was supposed to tickle!"

"It didn't, it hurt. It has probably even left a mark." I pulled up my shirt and there were in fact three red dots on my stomach. "Here, look," I said.

"I didn't mean to do that. And I wouldn't have if you weren't so fucking fragile."

"So this is my fault?"

"That's right."

"Have you always been like this, I mean, even before the world ended?"

"Like what?"

"A brute."

"Yeah and thank god for that or I'd be dead already. And so would you by the way."

"I know and I'm grateful, but I just can't imagine that it could've been easy being like this. You couldn't have had a girlfriend or even a boyfriend. No one would voluntarily put up with this kind of roughness."

"So what? It taught me to be by myself, one more thing that kept me alive. And what do you mean by 'boyfriend'? I'm not a fucking fag."

"You have to be at least bi."

"Hell no, I'm straight."

"But you want to have sex with me."

"So?"

"You don't think that's a little gay?"

"No, the way I see it, when it comes down to just getting off, a hole is a hole."

"How romantic... Yeah, I know, I will shut the 'f' up."

"That's right."

"So, have you even had sex before?"

"None of your fucking business."

"I see."

I sat up, facing him and crossed my legs. I tickled him softly on his side, but he slapped my hand away.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked, frowning.

"I'll teach you how to do it right."

"I don't need your fucking help."

"What if you meet a girl, maybe even the last girl on earth? Do you really think you could win her over by giving her bruises?"

"And what would you know about girls? You're a fag."

"Probably more than you. My best friend was a girl and we talked about boys all the time."

"Of course you did."

"Fine, but don't complain if we actually do meet a girl and she picks me. And then when you'll have to longingly listen to us making love all night long. I mean, I am gay, but you said it yourself, a hole is a hole."

"Fuck you!"

"Come on, let me make a human being out of you. You're already very strong and really handsome, so if we smooth out your rough edges a little you could be a real catch for some lonely, desperate girl."

"You think I'm good looking?"

"Yes, very. Well, at least with a proper haircut."

"Fine, what do I do?"

I tickled him again and this time he let me.

"Like this, you know?" I said.

"But that didn't tickle."

"Maybe you're just not ticklish. Try it on me, but very, very gently." He did, but it was still too rough and felt more like he was scratching me. "No, a lot softer. You barely have to touch me, like when you were stroking my hair yesterday." He tried again and this time he actually managed to tickle me. I jerked a little and giggled. His eyebrows went up. "That was good. Now the lesson is over."

"Like hell it is," he said, grinning mischievously. He started to tickle me with both hands and I fell over backwards, laughing really hard.

"Nooo, stop it," I squealed, but he didn't and there was nothing I could do about it. I squirmed and laughed till he finally had mercy on me. When I looked up at him he was smiling.

"I should not have taught you that," I said, a little out of breath.

"Well, at least now I have something that isn't scary to threaten you with."

"You're not supposed to threaten me, period"

"Are you talking back to me?"

"No no, you're absolutely right, as always."

"Exactly."

He leaned back against the headboard and I sat up.

"Did you find anything else?"

"Yeah, a deck of cards. How about we play some Poker after you've cut my hair?"

"Sure."

"Let's go then."

Troy found a chair and I cut his hair in the bathroom. It took forever, but I wanted to be thorough. I cut it pretty short and even shaved him neatly in the back. I was a little proud of myself and he seemed to like how it looked too, but didn't admit it.

Next we sat down in the kitchen and he taught me how to play Poker.

"Are you ready to play for real?" he asked after a few practice rounds.

"I think so."

"How about we make this interesting?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Best out of three and if I win you have to give me a handjob."

"What do I get if I win?"

"What do you want?"

I thought for a second.

"I know. You can't curse for twenty-four hours and if you do anyway you have to apologize immediately."

"That's so fucking stupid."

"Take it or leave it."

"Fine, whatever."

We started to play and he won the first two rounds. I was getting nervous, but then I also won two games in a row, so we were even. The next round I was dealt a queen, a 9, a 7, a 5 and a 3. He kept all of his cards, which I took as a bad omen and when I exchanged four cards he grinned widely and made an obscene hand gesture.

"Ok, let's see them," I sighed and he revealed three 10's and two Aces.

"Full house, bitch."

I laid my cards on the table.

"Four kings. I win... B-i-t-c-h," I said and giggled. He frowned.

"What? No, you fucking cheated or something! That doesn't count."

"I barely know how to play this, so how could I possibly cheat? Don't be a sore loser. This so counts."

"Whatever."

"I think you just cursed, but you didn't apologize, which is weird since we had a bet and I'm pretty sure if you had won I'd be masturbating your penis right now."

"I'm sorry," he said, annoyed, and rolled his eyes.

"That's right."

"Come on, again. You're dealing."

"No thanks, I don't want to play anymore."

"Hey, that's not fair, I deserve a rematch."

"Ok, but if I win you have to walk around in women's clothes and make up for twenty-four hours. And I mean the full nine yards, with skirt and pantyhose and everything."

"Fuck you."

"Anything you want to add?"

"I'm sorry. Jesus Christ!" he said angrily.

"That counts as cursing too."

"No it doesn't."

"Fine. So, want to play? Because I'm on a roll right now," I said, grinning.

"No, you fu... fa... stupid queer!"

"That's not nice."

"Whatever."

"Did you find any other games we could play?"

"Yeah, but only kids' stuff."

"Might be fun too."

"We could die today. I don't want the last thing I do to be playing 'Hungry Hungry Hippos', you know?"

"Aww, they have that?"

"It's in the little boy's room. Knock yourself out."

"It wouldn't be fun playing it by myself."

"Then you're shit out of luck."

"I wish we could watch a movie."

"Well, we can't."

"That would be a really nice last thing to do before I die," I said sadly.

"Maybe one day, when all the freaks have died."

"When will that be?"

"Probably sooner than you think. Have you noticed how they smell? They're rotting, so it's just a matter of time till there's not enough flesh left to hold them together."

"I guess. How long do you think that will take?"

"I don't know. Another year or so? We just have to survive long enough and the world will be ours again."

"I hope you're right."

"When have I ever been wrong?" I hesitated. "Yeah, exactly," he said, grinning.

"I think I miss movies the most, and fresh fruit. What about you?"

"Beer, hands down, and I guess playing baseball."

"There are a couple of beers in the fridge, maybe they're still drinkable."

"And you didn't tell me?" he asked, frowning.

"I didn't want you to get drunk."

"I see."

He got up, went to the fridge and took out a beer. He opened it on the counter, held it to his nose and then tasted it.

"All right, that's what I'm talking about!" he said cheerfully.

"It's still good?"

"Yeah, it's perfect. Just what I needed."

"I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. Beer actually means a lot to me. I was a foster child, so I was always at the mercy of one douche bag or another and it made me feel really powerless. When I was sixteen I stole a beer at a store and went back to the boys' home. No one was in my room, so I sat down on the bed and drank it. I grew up with very strict rules and alcohol was like the forbidden fruit or something, so it felt like such a grown up thing to do. After a few sips I had a little buzz going and I pretended to be an adult already and that I was in control of my life and no one could tell me shit anymore. It was the best feeling and I made it my weekly ritual. I'd steal a beer and then, when I had a moment to myself, I'd sit down, drink it and daydream. It was the one thing I didn't hate about my life. And still to this day, whenever I drink a beer I feel better."

"That's so sad."

"Fuck you."

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it in a bad way."

"Whatever."

"Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we read a book? That's almost as good as watching a movie."

"I'm not much of a reader."

"Then I'll read one to you. It'll be like listening to an audio book."

"I guess. Why not?"

We went to the living room together and looked through the book-shelf. It was mostly romance novels, a lot of cheap novelettes, but a few classics too.

"I don't wanna read a fu... stupid love story. They're for women," he said.

"I like love stories too."

"What's your point?"

"Very funny... How about this one?" I asked and held up 'The Time Traveler's Wife', which was a love story. "It's about time travel, like 'Back to the Future'," I added, but that was a lie. I had seen the movie and it was nothing like 'Back to the Future', but I had to sell it to him somehow.

"It's not told from the point of view of the chick, is it?"

"No."

"And they have a time machine?"

"No, the guy just time travels."

"Is he some kind of mutant, like the X-Men?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"So it's a cross between 'Back to the Future' and 'X-Men'?"

"You could say that."

"Awesome. Let's read that one then."

I actually felt kind of bad for tricking him like that, but I thought maybe he'd enjoy the novel and thank me later for it. Probably not though.

We sat down on the couch, me cross-legged and him with his feet up on the coffee table. I opened the book and started to read it out loud.

After maybe two hours I took a break. We had made it through almost eighty pages and at least I was enjoying it very much. I managed to really lose myself in the story and forget the world around me for a while.

"So, what do you think?" I asked.

"I hate it."

"Oh, do you want to read something else?"

"No... I mean, whatever."

I grinned, but quickly turned serious again when he looked over at me.

"Hey, can I lie down and put my head on your lap? My legs are starting to hurt a little," I said.

"Sure."

I lay down.

"Is it ok if I rest my eyes for a while?" I asked.

"No, keep reading or I'll beat you." I looked at him wide-eyed and quickly picked up the book again. "Jesus! That was a joke! I've told you not to be scared of me anymore!" he said angrily.

"I can't just stop being scared because you tell me to."

"Why not?"

"Because that's not how feelings work."

"No, you just have to try harder."

"Or, you could stop threatening me, jokingly or not."

"Fine," he sighed, annoyed.

"Thank you."

"Pull down your pants."

"What? Why?"

"I'll make you feel good."

"You mean sexually?"

"Yes, now come on."

"No, I don't want that."

"You'll like it," he said and opened my pants. I tried to push his hand away, but couldn't.

"Please, don't do this, please."

"Shut up, you'll thank me later."

He pulled down my pants and underwear. I quickly covered my genitals with my hands and started to cry.

"Why the fuck are you crying?" he asked, frowning.

"Because you're trying to rape me."

"Rape you?! Are you shitting me?! I'm trying to give you a handjob! You should be thanking me!"

"You're trying to do something sexual to me without my consent, that's rape."

"Jesus!" He pushed me off his lap and I quickly pulled up my pants. It was really hard to button them, because I was shaking so badly. "I just wanted to do something nice for you, you know, to make up for scaring you!" he continued. That was kind of reassuring to hear and it calmed me down a little.

"That's not an excuse."

"Here, you can have the rest of my beers," he said and offered me his bottle.

"No thanks."

"Drink it!"

"But I don't like beer." He frowned deeply and smashed the bottle against the wall. I flinched and looked at him wide-eyed. He shot up and stormed out. A few seconds later I heard glass shatter in the kitchen. He came back and stared at me grimly.

"It's all gone! Are you happy now?!" he said.

"No?" I answered nervously.

"Of course not, I can't make you happy, I always do exactly the wrong thing!... I hate myself."

He was pale, breathing really hard and shaking. I was totally stunned by his outburst and I suddenly realized that he must've cared about me more than I thought. He looked like he was about to cry. I felt really bad for him, so I quickly got up and tried to hug him, but he pushed me away.

"Why the fuck are you hugging me?! Are you afraid I'll lose it completely and hurt you again?!" he asked.

"No, you're in pain, let me console you."

"I don't deserve that!"

"Of course you do."

"No, I don't!"

"I will hug you now and I'll hold on really tightly, so if you want to get me off of you, you'll have to hurt me. Do you understand?"

"I'm not gonna hurt you!"

"Good."

I carefully took him in my arms. His heart was beating really fast, so I started to stroke his back and he slowly calmed down. It made me feel kind of powerful to help him for a change and I admired him for being man enough to let me. After about ten minutes he seemed much better, so we parted.

"Jesus, look at me, I'm a total mess. Your queerness must be rubbing off on me or something," he said.

"There's no shame in breaking down sometimes."

"Yes there is and we'll never speak about this ever or I'll..."

"What? Beat me?"

"No! Fuck! What's wrong with me?!"

"Well, you're used to acting before thinking I guess, which makes sense in this kind of world. But you're trying to change and that's what matters."

"You should hate me, you know?"

"But I don't."

"Maybe you have 'Stockholm syndrome' or something."

I giggled a little.

"I'm not your hostage or at least I hope I'm not."

"Of course not... Well, I don't know, I mean, I'd let you leave, but I'd probably follow you, to make sure you're safe."

"See, then you're more like my stalker than my captor."

"I'm not your fucking stalker!"

"I'm just saying, I don't have 'Stockholm syndrome'."

"That's good and I swear I'll be nicer to you from now on."

"I'm looking forward to it," I said, grinning.

"How about you read more of that stupid book to me?"

"You can admit that you like a love story, it doesn't make you any less of a man, you know?"

"Shut up and read already."

"Fine."

I lay down, put my head on his lap again and continued to read the book to him for a couple of hours. It was really fun and engaging and a great way to spend our time. We only took two breaks, one to go to the bathroom and another to rest my eyes for a few minutes.

When it started to get dark we quickly made ourselves something to eat and then went to bed. Troy had searched out some extra blankets, because he hadn't heated up the room this time. It was actually pretty cozy and definitely warm enough, but it was still very early and I couldn't sleep.

"Can't we cover up the windows and light a small candle, so we can read for a while?" I asked.

"No, we can't risk that. If we wanna stay here longer we can't attract any freaks."

"I guess that's true. So why don't we talk? Because I'm not tired at all yet."

"You know, sleeping without fear of getting killed is a privilege in this world."

"So you don't want to talk?"

"Whatever, I don't care."

"Ok, so, what did you do before the apocalypse?"

"I had lots of jobs, but I was a farm hand for almost a year before the world ended. I liked it. I also played baseball in a minor league. What about you?"

"I studied meteorology."

"What's that good for?"

"It's the scientific study of the atmosphere. I wanted to work for the National Weather Service someday or at least something like that."

"Isn't weather forecasting really inaccurate? I've read somewhere that the weather can't be predicted for more than three days. That doesn't sound like much of a science to me."

"It depends on how you look at it. The weather is just way too complex to predict it with 100% accuracy. If you knew how many variables factor into it you'd be amazed that it's possible at all."

"It's still stupid."

"Well, nowadays I guess knowing your way around a farm is a lot more useful."

"That's right."

"When did you know the world would end? Can you remember the moment?"

"Yeah, when I saw a freak for the first time. Before that I just couldn't believe it. The things they said on TV were just too crazy. I mean, it started in Africa, right? And they said that over two thirds of the population had died by an unknown contagion in just one day, but instead of staying dead most of them came back as mindless and extremely aggressive freaks and killed nearly all of the rest of the people. The next day it spread to Europe and the Middle East and over one billion people died within hours. It just sounded insane. And we stayed on the farm, so we didn't see the mayhem that had already broken out, the mass panic, the looting, people killing each other over supplies. When the phone and the TV went dead on the third day we drove into town. It was like a war zone, cars and buildings were burning and you could hear gunfire from every direction. That's when I saw a freak for the first time. He ran right in front of the car. I almost hit him, but he didn't even flinch, he just started attacking the vehicle. His eyes, they didn't look human anymore and the way he moved, there was something off about it. Next thing I knew a woman ran up to the door on the passenger side. She didn't see the freak, but he noticed her. He threw himself on her like an animal and bit half of her face off. Then suddenly another freak smashed into the door on my side. The window broke and he tried to sink his teeth into me. I punched him really hard and he tumbled backwards a few steps, so I quickly got the shotgun from under the seat and blasted him right in the chest. It didn't even seem to register with him, he just came at me again, so I stepped on the gas and drove off. That's when I knew the world was about to end."

Hearing all that made me respect Troy even more. It must've been traumatic to watch someone getting killed like that and then be attacked by a monster himself for the first time, but he had remained level-headed and made it out of there. I probably would've been scared stiff and not able to think straight anymore. Not Troy though, he was unflinching and always very focused. The only time I had ever seen him a little unsettled was after he had almost raped me accidentally in the living room.

"Wow, that's really horrible."

"No, that was just the warm up. It was nothing compared to what followed."

"I didn't know it was that bad."

"What do you mean? Where were you when all hell broke loose?"

"After the first reports I knew it would spread to the US in a matter of days, so I packed my things and drove as deep into the woods as possible. I figured, first of all, I'd be safer there and second, if I'd turn into a monster there wouldn't be any people around for me to kill. I stayed there all these months, hoping to hear something on the radio, that it was over or that they had found a cure, but sadly that never happened. Then, one day, I was looking for mushrooms when I suddenly saw a monster. It was like you said, it didn't look human anymore. I had never been so scared in my whole life and I ran for almost an hour, till I threw up, and then I climbed a tree and stayed there for four days. I spend most of that time debating if I should hang myself, but in the end I was more afraid to die than to live I guess."

"You know what? Climbing on trees was kind of smart. I should've done that too. I had to go through hell."

"Did you just pay me a compliment?"

"Don't get used to it, queer-ass bitch."

I giggled.

"Yeah, I know."

"Why did you go by yourself? Didn't you have any friends or family?" he asked.

"I did, but I had just started college, so they were hundreds of miles away. I knew I wouldn't make it there in time, so I called them and told them to get out of town. It was really emotional, because we knew it would probably be the last time we would ever talk to each other. We stayed on the phone for hours, cried a lot and finally said our goodbyes." A tear rolled down my face and I sniffled softly. Suddenly Troy grabbed me by the arm, which startled me a little, but he didn't pull and after a second he let go again.

"Come here," he said, so I leaned against him and he started to gently stroke my hair. It was surprisingly soothing.

"What about you? Did you have a chance to say goodbye to your loved ones?" I asked.

"No, there was no one I wanted to call really."

"What do you mean? Wasn't there anyone you were close to?"

"No. When I was six my father went to prison for killing my mother and I ended up in a foster family, where I was treated like a slave and they beat me more often than my father had. When I was fifteen I fought back and put the guy in the hospital. After that I spend some time in juvie and then stayed in boys' homes till I finally turned eighteen."

It made me so sad that he had such a horrible childhood and youth, and then, when things finally were looking up for him, the world ended. It was kind of tragic, but it explained a lot about his personality.

"I'm so sorry."

"Whatever, it toughened me up. It was like training for this nightmare."

"But you're not glad the world ended, are you?"

"Of course not, but before, I was nothing, just some reject with a criminal record. People looked down on me and treated me like shit all my life. But look at me now. I'm at the top, one of the last survivors on the planet. And not just by luck, I'm like a survival-machine. I've fought and I've won." He said the last part with pride and looked at me. I smiled at him in acknowledgement and he grinned back a little.

"I get it now, why it's so important to you to be respected and you're right, you've earned it."

"Exactly."

"How many people do you think are still alive out there?"

"No idea, maybe half a million world-wide, 25k in the US, if that. I only came across three other people in almost a year."

"Do you think there's a refuge somewhere?"

"Probably, but I don't know."

"I wonder what it would be like living in a place like that. I wouldn't be like before of course, but I bet if you were safe, had a job and a daily routine, it could almost feel normal again. That would be really nice, I think. I'd love to study something again, but I'd happily work too, as long as I could be useful in some way."

"If we'd ever find such a place, would you stay with me or would you rather share a room with some other queers?" he asked almost unsurely, frowning a little.

"Well, if I had to choose between living with strangers or living with you, I'd choose you."

"Cause I'm the devil you know, right?" he said disappointedly.

"No, even if we could live by ourselves I'd still want to see you every day."

He pushed me away.

"As some kind of courtesy or out of guilt, cause I saved your life?"

"No, I'd want to know what you're up to."

"But why?"

"Because I couldn't just ignore you. I don't think I feel guilty about it, but you did save my life."

"You know what? Go to hell," he said, annoyed.

"What did I say?"

"Plenty. Now shut up, we're done talking."

I suddenly felt bad for making it sound like I was only staying with him out of obligation. It was understandable that he became defensive.

"Troy, I..."

"I'm not saying it again," he said warningly, so I stayed quiet.

After maybe an hour of silence there were suddenly loud groans coming from outside. We both got up and looked out the window. There was a large horde of monsters walking by the house. It were maybe thirty of them, all moving very stiffly and ponderously, with some space between them. They didn't all groan at the same time, but alternately, almost like they were talking to each other. And it didn't sound aggressive either, but stretched out and kind of weary. It was really eerie.

"Get down," Troy whispered and we both went down on our knees, so our heads were below the window.

"What are we going to do?" I asked anxiously.

"There's nothing to do, except to hope that they're only passing through, cause if they stay we're pretty much fucked."

"Why are there so many?"

"I don't know, they like to follow each other. I think hordes likes these will become more common with time, which will be a real problem, cause no one can fight his way through that many freaks."

"I'm scared."

"Don't be, the house is pretty secure and if they get in anyway we'll be dead pretty fast."

"If they'll get in, could you shoot or stab me in the head please? I don't want to become one of them and kill someone."

"Just do it yourself, alright?"

"But then I won't go to heaven."

"Are you shitting me? That's what you're worried about right now?"

"Well, yeah, don't you want to go to heaven?"

"I don't care. The way I see it, hell would be like a vacation after living in this nightmare, so I can settle for that."

"Please shoot me in the head, ok?"

"I'll shoot you right now if you don't shut up already."

"Sorry."

"Let's go back to bed."

I nodded and we climbed into bed.

"Troy?"

"What?"

"Could you maybe hold me please?"

"Oh, so now that you need me I'm suddenly good enough for you?" he said challengingly.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm just a necessary evil to you and that you'll ditch me the first chance you get."

"That's not true, I'm staying with you because I want to, not because I have to."

"No, you'd die without me and you know it, so it's not much of a choice, now is it?" he said sulkily.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing, just forget it."

It really bothered me that he felt that way. The truth was that I saw him as my fearless protector who'd always come through for me, and he had grown on me an awful lot already.

I turned my back to him and pulled the blanket over my head. Suddenly he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to him in one jerk. He closed his arms around me and held on to me really tightly.

"Troy?"

"What?"

"Please don't get mad, but you're squeezing me too hard." He instantly loosened his embrace. I turned around and cuddled myself against him. His body was really warm and I could hear his heart beating.

"Troy?"

"Jesus, what?" he asked, annoyed.

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

"Whatever."

We stayed like that for maybe one or two hours. Being so close to him was soothing, but I was still scared. Thankfully the groans eventually faded in the distance and I finally fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning I was still in his arms, he hadn't moved an inch. I carefully looked up and saw that he was already awake.

"Good morning. Why didn't you get up already?" I said.

"I wanted to let you sleep."

"Oh, thank you."

"Let's get something to eat, it's probably almost noon."

"Sure."

We got up, put some clothes on and then headed downstairs. After checking the house for monsters we went to the basement, to decide what we would have for lunch.

"What kind of soup do you prefer?" he asked.

"I don't really care for beans and I loved the tomato soup yesterday. What about you?"

"Yeah, that works for me."

We both took ours cans and went to the kitchen to heat them up. When they were ready we sat down at the table together. Troy ate very slowly and didn't seem to enjoy his meal very much.

"Don't you like it?" I asked.

"No, I'm just really sick of beans, that's all."

"Then why did you let me have the tomato soup?"

"Cause you said you loved it," he answered, frowning, like it was blatantly obvious.

"My germs are already in this one, but we can switch tomorrow."

"No, we won't, it's yours, all of it."

"But why? I don't mind."

"Cause I said so."

"But it's not fair."

"I don't care, now can we stop talking about this already?"

"Fine."

We finished our meal in silence.

"You can bake, right?" he asked.

"Why would you assume that?"

"You know, cause you're a... homosexual."

I would've been offended, but I actually knew how to bake a little and I appreciated that he didn't call me a queer or worse.

"I can make muffins, why?"

"I was thinking, we should celebrate, you know, that we dodged a bullet yesterday? I'll go out to hunt and you could bake muffins and tonight we'll have one hell of a feast. How does that sound?"

"Great, but what if the monsters hear the shot and the horde comes back?"

"There won't be any shots. I'm not stupid, I'll hunt for rabbits."

"How?"

"With a shovel. They live in holes, right? So I just have to find one, light a fire in it, cover it up, wait till the rabbit is dead and then dig it out."

That sounded like a ridiculous plan to me. I didn't know anything about hunting, but I had a hard time imagining that catching a rabbit could be that easy.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I don't see why that wouldn't work. Do you?" He said the last part warningly and frowned at me.

"Well... No."

I decided against telling him what I thought about it, because I didn't want to risk not getting any rabbit on the off chance that he'd somehow manage to catch one.

"There you go."

"Be careful, ok?"

He nodded, went upstairs to get ready and left. I blocked the door and then busied myself with cleaning the house.

Later in the day I made the muffins, with cherries. They turned out pretty well. Just when I was starting to get worried I heard a knock on the door.

"It's me, open up," Troy said from the other side, so I let him in. He had blood all over his clothes, face and hands.

"What happened? Are you ok?" I asked, concerned. The thought of him being bitten suddenly crept into my head and really scared me. Because of him things had improved so drastically for me and for the first time in a long time I felt hopeful again. Losing him would've been devastating.

"Yeah, I was attacked, several times actually. There are a lot of freaks out there right now. I don't know what's up with that. I killed eleven of them and those were just the ones I couldn't get away from."

"You shouldn't have gone out there so soon. And for what? I could've told you that you wouldn't catch a rabbit," I said without thinking and my eyes immediately widened, because it was kind of a insulting thing to say and I was afraid he might react badly.

"So you probably think I'm an idiot for trying, don't you?"

"No?" I asked nervously.

"I have another question for you," he said. He took off his backpack and pulled out a pretty big, headless rabbit. "Who's the idiot now, bitch?"

"I don't believe it. You've caught one," I said, amazed.

"That's right."

"Can I still have some or are you mad at me now?" I asked unsurely.

"No, you can."

"Thank you," I said gratefully.

"Did you clean in here?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I was about to ask you the same question."

"I wanted the house to look nice, so we'd be more comfortable. Is that ok?"

"Sure... Do you know how to gut and skin this?"

"No."

"I'll show you in a minute, but first I'll fill the tub, so we can take another bath, cause I definitely need one."

"Ok, I'll help you."

"Alright, let's go."

We brought in the water together and then barricaded the door again. He showed me how to prepare the rabbit and when it was ready I seasoned it and put it in the oven. While it was roasting we went upstairs, got fresh clothes and checked the water in the tub. It was already comfortably warm.

"You can go in first," he said.

"Ok, thanks."

I looked at him unsurely and then slowly started to undress.

"I'll give you some privacy."

"Really?... I mean, thank you."

He nodded and left. I got in and sighed contentedly.

After soaking for a while I quickly washed my hair and my body and then dried myself off. When I was dressed I went looking for Troy and found him sitting right outside the bathroom.

"I'm done," I said.

"You could use a shave."

"I can do it later or tomorrow."

"No, come on, do it now, I don't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, of course."

He got into the tub and I started to shave. I could see him lying there naked in the mirror. He had his eyes closed, so I snuck a peek from time to time. His body was really nice. He was pretty muscular and he had some hair on his chest, not a lot though, just enough to make him look manly. I didn't want him to catch me, so I finished up quickly and then left.

Downstairs I tried to set the table as fancily as I could, with candles, a tablecloth and napkins. I even opened a bottle of wine from the liquor cabinet. Next I boiled some rice and opened a can of peas. Right before everything was ready Troy appeared. He had shaved too and smelled of cologne.

"What's all this? Are we having a date I don't know about?" he asked, grinning.

"No, but I thought we wanted to celebrate."

"I'm just kidding, I think it's great," he said and slapped my shoulder really hard, which made me flinch. He frowned and held up his hands.

"Shit, did I hurt you? I didn't mean to, I swear," he said nervously and turned pale.

"No, you just startled me, that's all." His frown deepened and he started to breathe more heavily, so I quickly hugged him.

"What the... What's that for?" he asked, surprised.

"No reason," I lied and he closed his arms around me. He didn't hold me too tightly this time. It was actually kind of nice. I breathed in his cologne and enjoyed the warmth of his body. The image of him lying naked in the tub kept popping up in my head and being pressed against him so closely seemed awfully intimate all of a sudden. My penis started to grow and I panicked a little, because I was afraid he might notice.

"I think dinner's ready," I said quickly, and thankfully he let go of me.

I took the rabbit out of the oven, put the rice and the peas in bowls and then set everything on the table. We sat down and Troy poured the wine. We both filled our plates and started to eat.

"Wow, this is the best meal I've had in a very long time and I mean even before the apocalypse," I said.

"I know, right? And we still have muffins for dessert."

"Oh my god, I almost forgot... Thank you so much Troy."

"What are you thanking me for? You made them."

"No, I mean for... everything I guess. I never would've thought I could be happy again. But right now I am, because of you, so thank you."

"I'm glad to hear that and right back at you."

He took his glass and held it up.

"To happy days," he said.

"To happy days," I repeated and we clinked glasses.

We didn't talk much for the rest of the meal. Afterwards we both had two muffins each. They were amazing and the wine went really well with them. We finished the whole bottle and by then it was already getting dark, so we decided to go to bed. Troy had to help me up the stairs, because I was pretty drunk. We undressed and slipped under the covers.

"Is the mattress floating by any chance?" I asked.

"Damn, you really can't hold your liquor, can you?"

"Look at me, I'm tiny and I drank half the bottle, so now there's at least as much alcohol as blood in my body, if not more. Probably more... What were we talking about again?"

He laughed.

"You definitely are drunk. Say, are you one of those people who get horny when they drink too much?"

My eyes widened.

"No? Why?" I asked nervously.

"No reason."

"Are you horny right now?"

"Don't worry, I won't try anything, I never will again. You have my word on that."

"Why?... I mean, thank you."

"Don't thank me, I shouldn't have tried anything in the first place."

"Why are you so nice to me today?"

"Cause you deserve it and I guess I'm happy too."

"I wish we could stay here forever."

"Yeah, me too. Maybe we can. Probably not forever, but for a long time at least."

"That would be nice... I'm getting really sleepy, I guess from all the food and the wine."

"Let's go to sleep then."

"Ok, good night."

"Night."

The room became quiet for a couple of minutes.

"You know, I could hold you again if you want. I mean, I wouldn't mind. Whatever."

"Yeah, sure."

I cuddled myself against him and he closed his arms around me. I really enjoyed his warmth and being held by him and fell asleep pretty fast.