New Kid In School - 9. Chapter 9: "A Rock And A 'Hard' Place"

Two days! Two whole days since Ryan has even made eye contact with me! I've never been so hurt and alone in my whole life. Even if I could get Ryan to give me a chance to explain...what would I say? How could I justify what I had done to him, to us? I didn't know what felt worse, knowing that the only love of my life hated my guts, or the pain of knowing that I deserved it! How was I ever going to survive without Ryan by my side? Even when my mind wandered off of the subject for a minute, my black eye was right there to remind me what I had done!

I tried to call Ryan on the phone to say I was sorry and beg his forgiveness. But as soon as he heard my voice, he hung up. I tried calling back again, and he hung up again. When I tried a third time, the phone was off the hook. Could he just stop loving me? Is it possible for someone to just "turn off" the feelings we had shared for one another? It wasn't for me. I cried all the time, and going to school wasn't even worth it anymore. My mom noticed something was wrong, and tried desperately to cheer me up. But I could never tell her what was wrong, and even if I could, she would never understand it the way I do. Nothing was going to heal these wounds in my soul. I was either going to have to live with it...or not live at all.

I dragged myself to school on Wednesday...for the first time that week. I thought that the constant chatter of my classmates might make me feel better, but I found myself just blocking them out. The only people who talked to me were people asking where I got the shiner. I wished that I could come out of this depression, but the harder I tried, the deeper I sank into this emotional quicksand. When lunch rolled around, I saw Tyler waiting for me by the cafeteria as always. He was flashing his usual heart melting smile, and it actually felt better to know that somebody loved me after all this! He noticed how upset I seemed and tried all through lunch to cheer me up. He made jokes, caught me up on the latest gossip, he did everything short of a clown dance for me. But I just wasn't in the mood. Then I looked across the lunch room and saw Ryan coming through the door and head towards our table! I quickly sat up and fixed myself! He had been eating lunch with me everyday since he'd been in this school, and Tyler was the only other person he really knew! So I figured that he might join us and actually give me a chance to explain! My heart fluttered and I became really nervous. "Please, oh please give me one more chance! Please!" I thought to myself. As he got almost to the table, I threw up a hand and said, "What's up man?" as calmly as I could.

But he acted like he didn't even see me. He walked right passed our table and didn't even acknowledge my existence! I sat there like a dork with my hand still in the air as Ryan walked and sat down at the table behind us. A table with a few guys from the track team and a bunch of girls. The girls nearly fainted when Ryan actually graced them with his presence! They took one look at his soft hazel eyes and dreamy smile and were immediately in love with him. In love with my...my...EX boyfriend! God...it hurt so much to even think of him like that! I felt my eyes tearing up and excused myself to run to the bathroom.

Thank goodness there was no one in there to hear me sobbing like a five year old with a skinned knee. I was trying to hold off the water works but they poured out of me nonstop! It just hurt me so much! The salty tears rolled painfully over my black eye and caused me to remember the look on Ryan's face when he hit me. That memory made me cry even more and I just wanted to die. I heard the bathroom door open and turned to see Tyler with a few lunch napkins.

"Here, take these." He said. His face was full of concern. He wanted so badly to be there for me in my time of need, but he didn't even know what was wrong and it was kind of hard for me to tell him considering the current situation. "Randy, talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. Is Ryan the one who hit you like that?"

"Please Tyler...I just don't really want to talk about it right now."

"Randy, I love you. Can't you just let down your defenses for a second and tell me..."

"I said I don't want to talk about it alright!" I said. My sadness was quickly turning into anger! I was angry at Tyler for tempting me in the first place, at Ryan for ignoring me, at my mom for not being able to understand, at myself, at the world! The pain in my heart was turning into a burning fire in my belly that almost forced me to walk back into that cafeteria and give Ryan a fight he'd never forget! I wasn't going to let him sneak me this time! I'd get the first punch this time, but I wouldn't stop there! I'd hit him again, and again, and...

That's when I noticed that Tyler was standing in front of me, looking so hurt that I was afraid that he was going to get suicidal on me. He was breathing in short huffs and he dropped the napkins on the floor and started to walk away. What was I doing? It wasn't his fault. In fact, Tyler was the only one who was actually trying to be nice to me. I put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him into a stall.

"Tyler...I'm sorry I snapped at you. It wasn't your fault, it's just that I'm not in the mood to discuss it right now. I just need some time to wallow in self pity for a while. Okay?"

Tyler wrapped his arms around me and gave me a hug. He whispered in my ear, "I understand. But if you ever need to talk to somebody, I'm here for you. Don't ever forget that." Then he gave me the sweetest peck on the lips and walked away. His kiss wasn't sexual at all, it was more of a friendly kiss, a kiss of comfort and caring. He really did have strong feelings for me. Sometimes I wonder if this was all a part of Cupid's plan to set me up with Tyler all along.

For the rest of the afternoon, I began thinking of Tyler in a new light. I mean, he really was cute! REALLY cute! Fucking GORGEOUS!!! His hair was blessed with the golden rays of the sun and his eyes made me feel weak. His lips were pure magic and they lifted my spirits whenever he spoke my name. I had never really taken the opportunity to really have sex with Tyler, I was so wrapped up in my relationship with Ryan that I was scared to touch him. Too terrified to enjoy our time together. Now I wondered what life with Tyler would be like. I thought of all the good times we shared for that little time before I found out he liked me. He was actually kind of cool. But Ryan never left my heart. The more I thought of Tyler, the more I thought of Ryan. And the tears came back to me.

After school, I was walking up to my front door when Tyler called out my name and ran over to greet me. I was still thinking about Ryan, but seeing Tyler this time around actually made me feel good, for the first time in days I felt good. We talked back and forth on that step and I actually got to know him a little better. I never realized that Tyler was an actual person before! He was just sort of there to look pretty before, but now he was three dimensional. He spent a good 15 minutes just trying to make me feel better and giving me a new outlook on life. I sometimes noticed him looking at me with admiration and love, a glazed over look of total infatuation, and it would make me giggle. It was so goofy! I wonder if that's what I looked like when I saw Ryan. It was flattering, and it was almost like being a celebrity having this beautiful young boy be so in love with me.

But our conversation was cut short by the screech of bicycle tires on the pavement. I looked up to see Ryan looking directly at me. I couldn't tell if it was anger on his face or hurt. He looked at me, then Tyler, then at me again and he seemed disgusted. "Didn't waste any time, did you?"

"We're just sitting here Dude!" Tyler shot back. He was taking up for me like a loyal pit bull. "You coming back to hit him again? Or maybe you'd like to take a shot at me this time?"

Ryan didn't answer, he just rode home and never looked back. Ryan wasn't afraid of Tyler at all, but I guess he didn't want to deal with him that day. Even as he left, I noticed how good looking he was. Ryan was still so cute to me. Why couldn't I stop being so in love with him? Tyler soon told me that he had to go, but he said that no one was home at his house if I wanted to talk. Then he walked off too. I must have sat there for twenty minutes thinking about what I should do. Ryan was still pissed, but at least he was talking to me now. So what should I do? Go and take more abuse from Ryan, or get some more love and inspiration from Tyler? I finally decided to give it one more try and walked down to Ryan's house.

As I got there, Ryan was coming out of the front door. He stopped dead in his tracks and then flashed me another angry look. He didn't even seem like the same person anymore! "Why can't you just leave me the hell alone?" He said.

"Why are you being so mean to me? Can't you just talk to me? Don't you know how much you're hurting me by saying all those things? You ignore me all week, and now all you do is insult me! It's like we were never friends!"

"GOOD! You deserve be hurt! You think I didn't feel hurt when I found out what happened? You think I'm just out to get you and make you feel bad? No...I just don't want to be hurt like that again. I can't trust you Randy. And if I can't trust you, then I don't need you in my life!"

"Ryan...I...I want to tell you that I'm sorry for what happened and I want us to get through this." I said, the tears welling up again.

"Don't you get it, dude?!?! There IS no 'us' anymore! It's over!" Just then a loud car horn blared from the corner and the kids Ryan was eating lunch with drove up with the radio blasting and tossing empty beer cans out of the window. They called out to Ryan and he zipped up his jacket.

Ryan ran over to the car and hopped in. He looked back at me...hatefully, but he seemed almost sorry for what he had said. It was a look of concern, but it faded quickly. The last thing I saw as the car rounded the corner, was one of the cheerleaders throwing her arms around him and placing a kiss on his cheek!

Once again, the depression changed into something fierce! My blue vision turned red and my tears stopped right away! I ran to Tyler's house and rang the bell. I'll show that fucking ex-boyfriend of mine who's boss! The nerve of him! Thinking I can't live without him! I'll prove how little he means to me!

As soon as Tyler opened the door, I pushed him inside and kissed him on the lips HARD! He seemed really surprised! He didn't know what to make of me...last time I played the innocent victim, this time was going to be different! I unbuttoned his shirt while snaking my tongue into his mouth. He let out a moan as I gripped his tender ass cheeks and laid him back on the couch. Tyler had never experienced any real affection from me before, but he was going to get it today! He pulled my shirt over my head and we began grinding into each other. I reached down and rubbed his hard cock through his jeans, causing him to kiss me harder. He pushed up into my palm and his hot breath warmed my cheek as we became one. His smooth chest felt heavenly against mine and I moaned out loud! Tyler's leg came up and wrapped around me, pushing my groin into him even harder! We were both whimpering at this point and our pants were working their way down to our ankles and eventually fell to the floor. For the first time, I gripped Tyler's silky cock with my hand and felt it's warm energy pulse through my fingertips. My hand rubbed down it's 6" and began rolling his spongy balls back and forth in my hand. Tyler kissed my neck and grabbed my stiff member, giving it a few quick jacks. My blood raced and I shivered with lust! I refused to cum yet though, we had more games to play!

After feeling Tyler up for a few more minutes and tasting his delicious tongue in my mouth, I craved his young meat and started kissing my way down his chest. I looked up into his beautiful face on my way down and saw a deep passion in him that told me that he wanted this more than life itself! I noticed he had his eyes closed, so I teased him by holding my mouth open just above his swollen cock and breathing my warm breath on the sensitive head. He was waiting impatiently, twitching and squirming, but still I waited! When he finally opened his eyes and looked down at me to see what was wrong, that's when I took him into my hot, slippery mouth and sucked his virgin cock for all I was worth! His head thrashed back and I began massaging his soft testicles with one hand while rubbing his smooth, tender belly with the other! Tyler cried out with teenage lust as he reveled in he pleasure of his first blow job! He spread his legs wider to give me even more access and I sucked even harder! He began pumping in and out of my mouth and before long, he tensed up and released a gallon of sperm into my hungry mouth! His hands grabbed my hair and he never stopped moving as his first shared orgasm shot through his body! He came down from his dreamy high, and rolled me over onto the floor!

His blond hair fell onto my thighs as he wrapped those sensuous pink lips around my pole and began giving me an expert blow job that made me see stars! Tyler was enjoying it even more than I was, and his eyes were half closed with extreme passion and sex! He gobbled my 5 1/2 inches eagerly and my legs went numb! I growled and then screamed as my hot semen shot into his mouth! He sucked and licked the head until I couldn't take it anymore and had to tell him to stop. He crawled up my chest and kissed me deeply on the lips. The kiss left me breathless! He was an awesome kisser! We rubbed our naked bodies against each other for another hour as we cuddled on the floor of his living room. Tyler took a nap and laid his head on me, licking my chest tenderly ever so often.

Tyler loved me so much, how could I not feel something for him? He cared for me and just wanted to be there for me and make me feel good. The anger had left me, the sadness had left me...but for some reason, Ryan was still there. He was still deep in my heart, haunting me, calling me back. I laid there with Tyler, wondering if this little arrangement could work, but ultimately I compared his every attribute to Ryan. And as cool as Tyler was, as sensitive, as caring, as outrageously cute as he was...he didn't match up. I wonder if this is what it's like to be on "the rebound". Only time will tell.