New Kid In School - 26. Chapter 25: "Kiss And Tell"

"This is just silly dude! Why don't we just forget about this?" I said.

"C'mon Randy, you already know how to do this, just practice a bit." Ryan replied. He was sitting in front of me on the bed, and for the first time I felt really awkward about the whole thing. Why was this going to be so different that I'd all of the sudden need 'lessons' in doing what we've been doing for so long now? "Ready? Now lean in to the right, close your eyes, and remember...sweet and innocent."

I did as Ryan instructed, and kissed him lightly on the lips, my hand gently moving to caress his hip lovingly. Wow...he tasted so incredibly sweet. His wonderfully boyish breath mingled with mine, and our lips slid against each other with the smallest bit of pressure. It was hard to picture him as anything but my handsome angel with the cutest smile on earth. But this was a 'lesson', no time for dreamy passion. Ryan broke the kiss and leaned back. "Okay, that was good, but with girls you'll have to be a bit 'more' gentle. Just kiss them really soft at first, like the first time you kissed me."

"Ahem, actually, if I remember correctly...you kissed ME."

"Whatever! Just a tiny bit of contact, with your lips barely touching. Whoever invited you, you'll have to assume that she's a virgin, so this might be all new to her. Don't move too fast or she won't be ready for it." Ryan said in his 'teacher-like' manner.

"Sigh....I didn't think this would be so complicated."

"It's not really, just relax and take it slow is all. You can't let them know how...um...experienced we are. Now try again." Hmmm....another chance to kiss Ryan, how awful. I leaned forward again, and kissed Ryan tenderly on the lips. I tried to hold back some of that incredible love that my soul had for his, but it just didn't work. That love would never be contained again. It was sooo hard to pretend that he was someone else, so hard to keep from devouring him whole right there. But I needed to learn this stuff for the make out party tonight if we were going to keep up this front of us being 'straight' for the others. Besides, the whole idea of a girl just waiting for me to kiss her was kinda exciting. Not as exciting as Ryan giving me kissing lessons, but exciting nonetheless. To think, someone was thinking about me, constantly, and she invited me to a party just to take a chance at being with me. Holding me. Kissing me. It was a very cool feeling to say the least.

As I kissed my boyfriend in that quiet bedroom, I felt a stirring inside of me. A low key adrenaline rush that made it hard for me to breathe normally. His very presence just suddenly really got to me. Ryan's lips were so soft and so smooth that I began to really get into it. I could feel the gentle moistened heat of his mouth pass into mine, and I could feel my heart racing as if it really was the first time. I don't know, maybe something about this whole kissing lesson was really making me hot. It was almost like being tied down to the bed...having to use this level of restraint, having to hold back. It was wild. Any thoughts of some hot, big breasted, high school girl vanished and I could only think of my strawberry blond boyfriend as my lips were sliding erotically against his. Suddenly, I felt the uncontrollable need to push my tongue into his mouth, I couldn't fight it any longer. My hand traveled down slowly to his inner thigh, and then into his lap to rub his erection lovingly. I was throbbing so badly that it hurt, and to feel him in the same state only made it worse. I needed him so badly at that moment, I just couldn't help it. That's when he jerked back a little and stopped the kiss. "Dude...bad move! See, the tongue thing should be HER move first. Not yours. Make sure she's ready for that." He said, still thinking that this was all just a game I was playing. "And the grabbing the crotch thing will get you slapped for sure! You'll be labeled a pervert and that will be the end of your make out party career!" Ryan was still trying to teach me, but I was already thinking about 'other' activities for that afternoon.

"Can we just stop this for a second please? I want to kiss you for real."

"Randy...this is our last chance to get this right."

"Pleeeease? I can't help it. I love you sooo much Ryan." I whined with a grin, trying to seem as mushy and pathetic as humanly possible. And the second I said it, he blushed.

"C'mon dude...don't start that. I'm supposed to be some random girl from school." He was blushing so hard that his face almost matched the color of his hair as it fell into his eyes. He didn't want to look me in the eyes, and I knew what that meant! I had him on the ropes!

"I loooovvvvve you Ryan." I said again. He tried to look away to keep from giggling, but I caught him smiling anyway. I could break him if I tried hard enough. My erection was uncontrollable, pressing tightly up against the fabric of my jeans, and I squirmed on the bed with anticipation.

He giggled softly to himself, looking in every direction he could to avoid my pleading eyes. He really was a shy guy at heart. He attempted to get back to the lesson, and made an effort to keep a straight face. He tried to change the subject by saying, "Now, when you get there, you're probably going to have to look around to see who's looking for you and who's checking you out. They've got this whole thing planned out already."

But I persisted. "I LOVE you Ryan! With all my heart. Do you love me? C'mon, say it."

Ryan blushed again, and looked shyly down at his feet, letting out a bashful sigh. God, he was so CUTE! "Randy....Stop that...." He mumbled under his breath, his smile uncontrollably fixed into a wide grin.

"Just say it once and I'll leave you alone."

"No...this is important." He said. But I gave him the puppy dog eyes and he melted. That's when he put his hand on my leg, leaned in, and kissed me delicately on the lips. "I love you more." He whispered.

Ryan's eyes met mine, and his smile faded into something else...something I loved to see in his stare! Something that told me that the little peck on the lips he had given me might have been the deciding factor. He was caving in! Then he smiled and said, "Ok...but ONLY for five minutes and then it's back to work!" I didn't need a second invitation at all, and I pounced on him, pushing him back on the bed and kissing him deeply. We were making out for a good minute or two, wrapped around each other in a delicious embrace, our legs interlocked and tangled hopelessly around us, our hard ons rubbing together feverishly in an attempt to find some release...when my doorbell rang! Ryan broke the kiss and when I looked over at him, I saw this dreamy haze on his face, letting me know that he REALLY enjoyed that little roll in the hay. Hey smiled at me and licked his lips. "Mmmmm...maybe you don't need any lessons after all." He grinned. I kissed him again, then again, and moved in for a third before the bell rang again. Arrrrgh! I just didn't want to get up at that moment, but Ryan said, "Hehehehe....get the door ya dork! I'm not going anywhere!"

I got up, disappointed to be leaving him to 'cool off', even for minute. Damn, another few minutes and I could have talked him into staying home from the party and just being with me all night. Who knows? I got him hot once, I can do it again. I went down stairs and Ryan soon followed me to get something to drink out of the fridge. When I got to the door, I saw Tyler outside, a big warm smile on his face as always. "Heya Ty."

"What's up man? Say, I figured Ryan would be over here, and I wanted to ask what time you guys were going to the party. I thought I might catch a lift, if that's alright with you two." He said, stepping in.

"Sure man, no prob!" Ryan shouted from the kitchen.

"Thanks dude!" He shouted back.

"Wait...you're going to the party too?"

"Hehehe yeah. What, did you think I wouldn't get invited?" He giggled.

"No, it's not that..."

Then Ryan walked over and said, "Of COURSE Tyler's getting invited. How many did you get Ty?"

Tyler grinned timidly and modestly said, "Um....four."

"You hear that Randy? FOUR invitations! Tyler here is a regular teeny bopper."

"I am not. It's probably just a mistake or something."

"Yeah, whatever dude. You know..." As Ryan said it, he smiled in my direction, "...as long as this 'mistake' is in your favor, maybe you could give one to your little boyfriend. I'm sure Ariel would love that!"

Tyler gasped and shouted back, "SHUT UP! I told you...it's not like that. I just didn't know who he was yesterday. That's all. You guys just make a big deal out of everything." He might have been able to convince us...but he blushed, just a little bit. We could see his cheeks turn a gentle shade of pink, no matter how hard he tried to hold it back, and it gave him away.

We giggled about it a bit, watching Tyler getting all defensive about the whole thing. Yep, it was only a matter of time. Then Ryan walked back into the kitchen and Tyler whispered, "Dude, I'm sorry. Bad timing again, huh? I didn't mean to barge in on you guys."

"Barge in? What do you mean?"

"You're...um...you're...'showing'..." He said, and looked down at a very obvious lump in the front of my pants. Geez! Thank God it wasn't my MOM at the door!

"OH! Wow...um...uh..." I spun around and adjusted myself, embarrassed at my 'blown cover'. "Sorry."

When I turned back around, I saw Tyler's eyes glance down every once in a while, but he was trying not to look. "N-No, no...dude, it's fine...it...you know...happens." Then there was an uncomfortable silence, and it almost seemed like Tyler's mouth was watering. It made me feel weird, and yet somewhat...sexy. Ahem...but mostly weird though. Tyler finally stuttered out, "Well...let's just...can I have a drink...or something?"

"YEAH! Sure...go ahead." I said, glad that he was able to come up with a way to break the tension. Lord knows I couldn't think of anything. Sometimes, every now and then, I honestly wonder what might have been if I hadn't gotten back together with Ryan when I did. Weird.

We all ended up in the kitchen, just making small talk for a while, and soon things got back to normal. We figured that we'd head out in about two hours, until then we snacked on chips and just busied ourselves until it was time to go. Then, out of nowhere, just when I was beginning to relax again, Ryan shocks the shit out of me! "Say, Tyler, I want you to do me a big favor, ok? And tell me what you honestly think."

We were both kind of confused, but Tyler answered, "Um...ok. What?"

"Kiss Randy really quick."

"WHAT???" Tyler and I said in unison! What the heck was Ryan THINKING?

"Just do it! I want you to tell me if he's, like, ready or whatever." We stared at Ryan in amazement, and the room fell silent for a few seconds. "Look...I'm ASKING you to! It's cool! Like practice kissing on the back of your hand, only more 'interactive'. I just want to know what he's like."

"Well...then...then why don't YOU do it?" Tyler asked, a little nervous about the whole thing. And well he should be! I was!

"We TRIED that, but it doesn't work. I'm a little biased here."

"Ryan....geez..." I interjected, trying to get him to forget the whole idea. "C'mon...it's just a harmless little kiss between friends. It's not like you haven't done it before." He said.

It looked like he regretted it as soon as Tyler and I flashed Ryan a hurt look. He apologized right away for a low blow, but he still wanted us to go through with this. Tyler timidly looked over at me and our eyes met. I could see the fear in his eyes, and yet it didn't seem to match my own. I was literally shaking. The idea of kissing this beautiful blond teenager, my ex-boyfriend no less, in front of the boy I loved more than life itself, was a bit awkward to say the least. And poor Tyler, what was HE thinking? I know how he feels about me, what if this makes things worse or something? What if I....'enjoy' it? Can someone pull a fire alarm or something? I need an escape!

"I...I...will if Randy will." He stuttered. Then he stood up. Both of them looked down at me, waiting for my decision. Oh great! So I either kiss my ex in front of Ryan and worry about it all night on top of everything else, or I make Tyler think I don't want to kiss him, make Ryan suspicious as to why not, and worry about THAT all night on top of everything else. Ryan and his bright ideas.

"Well...?" Ryan asked. He was taking this love and trust thing a bit far! Ok...ok...just one kiss. One teeny tiny kiss, and then it'll be done with. It won't mean anything, it's just like Ryan said, a harmless kiss between friends. It's practice. Tyler probably won't even think anything of it. It's not like he's going to jump on me with Ryan standing right there. I'm not cheating, I'm just...'studying'...just like back when me and Tyler were studying for that Spanish test. NO! WAIT! NOT like that! Definitely NOT like that!!! This is different...MUCH different!

I was wrestling with a billion thoughts and emotions at once, but I knew they were waiting. So I hesitantly stood up, and smoothed my hair a bit before turning to Tyler. I couldn't really bring myself to hold any kind of eye contact, and neither could he. We fumbled with our arms for a few seconds, not knowing what to do with them at all, so terrified to touch one another. We just couldn't seem to just go ahead and do it. There was already this immense tension between us as it was...my affections for Tyler haven't been tested for a long long time. I wondered, just for a moment, what it would be like to kiss him again. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Dammit! Why couldn't we just go to the damn party and wing it? Grrrr!

"Any time you guys! You know, we DO have a party to go to tonight?" Ryan said. Why was he pushing me so hard? Was this a test? I know he's not clueless about this whole affair, he had to know how uncomfortable this was for me. Then again, I knew that if I really wanted to back out, I could. Ryan would laugh at me, maybe call me a few names, but I've known him long enough to know he'd understand. But maybe, deep down, I didn't WANT to back out of this. Maybe this really was a test or something, to see if I could do it and not fall into the same trap I did before? Who knows? All I was sure of at that point, was that if I hesitated much longer, someone was going to figure out that this kiss was much more than 'just a kiss'. So I took in a deep breath....and took a step towards Tyler. He sucked in a hefty amount of air himself, and it was cool to know he was scared too.

There was a jittery, nervous, tremble in my stomach as I moved closer to him, reaching out to put my hand almost nonexistently on his hip. Now he was shaking. Was it excitement? Fear? Love? I couldn't read it, but I figured I should just do it and get it over with. So I leaned in quickly, closed my eyes, and pressed my lips against his. I held it for a three count, and then I stopped and took a step away from him. As 'unromantic' as it was, I think Tyler still thought it was a magical experience. He hid it well, but there were traces of it in his eyes.

"Oh yeah...real good fellas! C'mon! I kiss my GRANDMOTHER with more passion!"

"Ryan...this is stupid! We kissed, it's over. Happy now?" I said.

"Fine, I'm not gonna force you. But when you get there, you're on your own." Ryan grinned. "So how does he rate?"

Tyler smiled and gave me a thumbs down. What a bitch! But it's what he said next that really worried me. "Actually, he kisses like he's kissing a guy. A little too hard. He should try it again, but slower." WHAT? AGAIN? Was this a double team effort or what?

"SEE? That's what I said! Randy...if you don't want to, that's cool, but I think you should give it just one more chance. Please?"

"Ok...that's it. Game over." I said, but Tyler's smile faded, and I guess it got to me somehow. Sigh...ok...so TWO kisses, and that's it! But if they ask me to do it a third time...I'm gonna give up guys and go straight! "ONE more....ok? And NO MORE after that! GOT IT?"

"That's all I ask. And give it some feeling Randy. Remember, this girl's probably been thinking about you for a while now. She's expecting fireworks tonight."

I nervously stepped forward, half scared to death, half angry at the whole situation. I just wanted it to be over and done with already. Tyler was ready, and I put my hands on his hips, caressing them delicately. And that's when I looked him in the eye, leaned in and gave him the best kiss I possibly could, pressing my lips against his with a gentle pressure. I think it surprised him that I actually gave it a serious effort this time around. I had my eyes closed, but I could feel his every reaction to our lip lock. I felt his knees jerk as he struggled to keep them from getting weak. I felt his breath rush out of him in a quiet sigh, and it was almost as if I could feel his heart beating against my chest. I could feel his hand move slowly up my back as his other hand tightened it's grip around my waist. What am I doing? I'm kissing Tyler! I wasn't timing it at all, but something told me that this kiss might be going on for a bit too long. Besides, I was beginning to enjoy it. Just knowing that my measly attempts at passion was having such an immense impact on our cute blond buddy was MORE than an ego stroke. But I felt a change in him, one that didn't want to stop. And it was then that I felt his tongue timidly lick the very edge of my opened lips, desperately begging to come in, but not daring to take that step. This was going too far. I broke the kiss and moved back a bit, looking at the dreamy haze washing over Tyler's face. It was as if he forgot to breathe. Maybe I overdid it a bit.

Ryan giggled a bit and asked, "Well? Better?"

It took Tyler a second to speak, but then he said, "Yeah...much better. Um...good...he's good." And I could see a little semi hard on in his pants. It was weird, but I took a piece of guilt-free pleasure from turning him on. I blushed a bit, and then we kind of stood around for a few minutes before really doing anything more than giggling bashfully at one another. It was only a short while before we were all back to normal, but for that short while...I felt a bit of that tension return. Hopefully it wouldn't last.

We finally got ready to go. We got all snazzed up and dressed nice, I sprayed a hint of cologne on me, and we piled into the car. Tyler called shotgun, so I was stuck in the back, but I was going to be sure to beat him to it on the way back. Tyler had the instructions out and we traveled along happily, searching for our 'House Of Ladies'. They both seemed to be fine with the whole thing, talking about it as though it were just another party, but I was nervous as hell. I was literally shaking. What if I screwed up? What if I got stuck with some ugly nerd that nobody wants? what if I AM that ugly nerd? Did I shower well enough? Breath check....does it smell good? I shouldn't have had chips. I brushed afterwards, but what if it's not enough? Hell, I brushed TEN times tonight! It had better be enough! I was about to brush the enamel right off my teeth. Isn't this bothering them too? Just a little bit? My palms were sweating, so I kept repeatedly wiping them off on my pants. Then I began to imagine getting out of the car with these giant wet stains on my pants. And what if I smelled like stale sweat? A trillion thoughts rushed through my mind, none of them making much sense, but they kept me deathly afraid as Ryan and Tyler chit chatted unknowingly in the front seat. I tell you, I was ten seconds away from just jumping from the moving car and running home. Damn child safety locks!

"Turn left here?" Ryan asked.

"Um....no, I think that's a right. Here, you look at it."

Tyler handed him the little self drawn map, and they examined it a bit. Helloooo, doesn't anyone else notice that I'm DYING here? I need to get out of this. I don't want to embarrass myself. I'll just tell them to drop me off. What are they gonna do? Say no? They won't care. NO! No, I WON'T do that. I'm scared shitless, but so what? I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna have a good time. Okay....okay....how about this instead? I'll go, I'll stay ten minutes, and then I'll play sick and go home. At least I can say I was there, right? Nobody can blame a guy for being sick, can they?

"I gotta stop and get some gas. We'll look at the map then." And Ryan pulled off to the gas station on the side of the street. This is it! My chance to get away! No...I can't just run out of here screaming. I'm going, and that's that. Stop thinking so damn much!

"Are you ok Randy?" Ryan asked.

"Huh? Oh...yeah...I'm fine."

"You sure? You don't look so good." He said.

"Right as rain, dude." I stuttered. And Ryan gave me a strange look.

"Right as rain?....okaaaay..."

He pulled up to a pump, and stopped the car. He got out to fill up the tank and I repressed the urge to jump out and head for the hills. What was wrong with me anyway? It was just a party, nothing more. Deep breaths, Randy, deeeeeep breaths. That's when I looked up and saw Tyler staring at me secretly in the rearview mirror. When I saw him, he turned away, but it was too late. I wasn't quite sure what to say, so we sat in silence for a few seconds before he spoke.

"So...kissing lessons...huh?" He asked, trying hard to smile and have it look authentic.

"Ty...you know, I really had nothing to do with that kissing stuff. That was honestly all Ryan's idea."

"I...I know. Dude...yeah...of course. Totally Ryan's idea." He said.

"Not...not that I don't WANT to kiss you Tyler. I mean...not that I do...well, you know what I mean, right?"

Tyler nodded his head yes, and then nervously said, "Um...actually, no. I have no idea what you're talking about." Well THIS wasn't helping me feel any more comfortable with this whole make out party evening! I attempted to look for the right words, and it looked as if he was doing the same. We just couldn't say much of anything. But after we fumbled around a bit, he turned around and just said, "Look, there's no reason for us to be weird about this. What happened, happened. We won't dwell on it. Ok?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah...I'm cool. Really."

He looked me right in the eye, and it actually eased my nerves a bit. So I did the only thing I could do. I stuck out my hand and gave Tyler a hearty shake. "Sounds good dude."

"Cool." He said, and he smiled as he turned to face forward again. "But between you and me...nobody kisses me the way you do. It was...great." He sighed.

I wasn't sure how to take that at first. But he started giggling and soon we both had laughed off the whole thing off. Then I had to tell him something before I lost my mind. "I'm a little...um...well...I'm kinda..."

"Scared?"

"PARALYZINGLY TERRIFIED was more the word I was looking for!" I blurted, happy to get that out of my system and into the open.

"Awww Randy, don't be. You know, it's not as mysterious as you think. I mean, it's not like you're gonna be handed a girl and a condom at the door and locked in a closet to kiss or die. It's just a party, like any other party. You go, you talk, you drink punch, you have fun, you dance, and maybe by the end of the night you'll get to kiss someone who really likes you. But it's not like you HAVE to. You'll have fun, just relax."

Something in his words really did make me feel good. Maybe he was right. I was making too big a deal out of all of this. I didn't have to kiss anybody, and if I do, it doesn't mean I have to marry them. I've just gotta chill out. "You're right. I'm just stressing out about it. It would be really cool to kiss someone who really thinks of me that much. You know? Someone who's heart beats only for me." I said jokingly in my best romantic Frenchman voice.

"You already have..." He mumbled under his breath.

"Say what?"

"....Nothing..." He sighed. "What is taking Ryan so long anyway? We've got a party to go to."

We stayed pretty much quiet until Ryan paid the cashier and got back in the car. But I felt a little better, although still a bit anxious. And now Tyler seemed to be lost in his thoughts, and without either one of us talking, Ryan stayed pretty quiet too. Thank goodness we weren't far from the party.

Ryan found a parking space on the street, and as soon as we stepped out of the car, we heard the muffled beat of music coming from inside. My knees were weak, my breathing was out of control...this is it. Stay calm Randy...it's only a party. It's only a party. As we walked up the sidewalk to the front door, I looked over at Ryan. Wow, he could be so cute sometimes. And he wasn't even doing anything really. Just walking. But he had this uncanny ability to go from average cutie to full blown Adonis in a matter of seconds. He looked good, dressed in his best casual attire. If we hadn't been so close to the front door, I would have pulled him close to me just to take a whiff of his sweetened scent. I would have buried my nose in his neck, or his hair, or his...

"HEY GUYS!" Came the voice from the front door. She was a pretty girl, short red hair, sparkling green eyes. She invited us in eagerly, giggling nervously at the idea of us being at the same party with her and her friends. I'll say one thing, being with Ryan and Tyler in a room full of girls was like being a celebrity. It was almost as if the whole party was waiting for us to show up. The music continued to get louder and louder as we walked through the house. Seeing the occasional school buddy here and there. A few said hello to me, and I know I opened my mouth to say something in return, but I don't think I actually made any sound. I've GOT to loosen up before I do something stupid and faint or something. What am I doing? I'm cool, right? I've been invited to parties before. Even before Ryan and Tyler came along. So what's the big deal? I'll blend in, this isn't so bad. However, just as I was beginning to relax a little, we passed a guy and a girl sitting down and kissing on the steps. I tightened up immediately! Come on Randy...just don't think about it. And for crying out loud...DON'T STARE! You wanna get beat up?

I was lost in my thoughts as we passed through the kitchen. There were a few people crowded around the punch bowl, some leftover crushed pieces of chips were covering the table. A weird Frito/Dorito/Potato Chip/Pretzel/Peanut mosaic of crumbs. That's when she showed us the stairs for the basement, and that's where most of the music was coming from. The party. The BEAST.

The room was much darker than the rest of the house, with some old Christmas lights on the walls and ceiling giving off the most light. As we marched down the steps, I scanned the room for people I might know, and saw that almost all of them were familiar faces. There were a few people 'paired off' into couples already, but they were just talking or grinning nervously. It wasn't so bad. Still a little scary because I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but like Tyler said, I wasn't really obligated to participate in anything I didn't want to. So I cast my worries aside...most of them anyway...well, a few...and just let out a sigh of relief. Just a party. Not an orgy, not a sex fetish dungeon, not the set of a porno movie to be shown at the local electronics store...just kids and punch and music and good friends. As long as Ryan and Tyler were with me, I'd be fine.

"Well, dude...it looks like this is where we split up." Ryan said, patting me on the shoulder.

"WHAT???" Wait a minute! Nobody mentioned splitting up!!! Who's splitting up? WE'RE not splitting up? What the hell was THAT about? Splitting up? We are NOT splitting up! I started to practically hyperventilate at this point.

"Randy, calm down. You didn't think we were all just gonna gang bang the same girl, did ya?" Ryan teased. I think he liked seeing me so out of my element. I gave him my best scared kitten look and he leaned over to whisper in my ear. "It'll be fine Randy. I promise. And any time you want to go home, just let me know. K?"

"I wanna go home." I said.

"Not now, we've got people to meet. Stephanie! How are you?" He said, turning away to greet other people. That bastard!

"Randy, just go grab yourself a drink or something and mingle a bit." Tyler tried to help out, but before he could finish, a young blond girl walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey...what's up? I'm Tyler." He said.

"Y-yeah...I know." And she stared at him dreamily. Her smile gave away her every intention, and knowing Tyler, he was a nice enough guy to indulge her daydream fantasy for a while, even if it only meant talking. At least I know where ONE of his invitations came from. Tyler walked off with her and that left just me and Ryan.

"Geez, I didn't expect this many people to be here. There's like 20 people in the basement alone. I wonder if my date knows I'm here yet. Hehehe." He said.

"Or mine..." I sighed, feeling even more anxious than before. I just wish the scary part of this night was over with already.

"Well, there's a big selection of girls here dude. I don't know exactly how to narrow them down for you. It could be Amy, or Jennifer, or Evelyn, or Dena, or Laura. Yeah, probably Laura...she likes you."

"Really? How do I know if it's her?"

"Just walk over and say hello." Ryan said.

"Ok...no problem. Um....then what?"

Ryan pushed me forward a little bit to get me going. "After hello you just improvise, ya dork! Go already!"

I was nervous, trembling inside. I never really had this much trouble interacting with other people before. But then again, I never had anything really expected of me before. Should I approach her as a friend? Or should I try to be just another classmate? Or should I turn on the charm? Grrrr! Why was this so hard? I got closer and closer to her with every step, watching her as she stood seemingly unaware of my presence. Was she the one? Could she be my 'make out partner' for the night. She wasn't bad looking at all, kinda cute actually. With an adorable smile. And I do remember her touching my arm as she laughed the other day. And there was that time she gave me that candy heart on my birthday in the 5th grade. Cool, maybe she does like me. I could do a lot worse. I moved closer, and I saw her look in my direction and smile. Yeah...she loves me. Come to papa!

That's when she smiled sweetly, looked right at me, opened her mouth seductively and said, "Hi Jordan!"

Jordan? Who the hell is Jordan? And that's when some good looking jock kid walked around from behind me and took Laura into his arms to give her a loving hug and a kiss on the forehead. Okaaaay...so maybe it wasn't Laura at all. Who cares? She was a dog anyway.

I turned around hoping to hang out with Ryan for a while longer before coming up with a reason to bail on this party totally...but he had disappeared. Probably collected by whatever vixen decided to feast her eyes upon him. I sighed to myself, not really being worried, but a little hurt for some reason. Ryan and I had already discussed the activities of tonight a while ago, and I knew what was going to be going on. But for some reason, I felt a little sting in my ribs. A bitter feeling inside that bothered me. There was a girl at this party who liked Ryan, a LOT, and was going to be kissing the lips that were reserved for me and only for me. She was going to be trying to seduce him with her charms, she was going to be touching him, dreaming and fantasizing about him...it almost made me angry. Call me selfish, but I didn't WANT to share him with anyone else. Even if it was only in fun. I wanted to be a 'good sport' about the whole thing, but this whole night has been weird from the very beginning. Between the kissing lessons, and Tyler, and this wacky party, I was about ready to write this all off as some kind of horrible nightmare. I mean, am I even supposed to BE here? I just wish Heaven would send me a sign...any sign.

Just then, Brittany Spears came blasting out of the speakers. Sign sent, and received, oh Lord. I needed to get out of that place and fast. Even if I had to walk home.

I headed up the steps to the kitchen and was eagerly looking for the front door, when I caught a glimpse of Ryan in the living room....with HAILEY!

Hailey...Grrrr...it seemed like it had been so long since that girl had even entered my thoughts. I can still see it like it was yesterday, her delicate little fingers pushing her blond locks out of her face so she could get a better look at Ryan as he walked into our history class for the first time. Even as he sat down behind me for the very first time, when we first met, I could feel her eyeing him from the back of the class. She was one of the prettiest girls in school, or so I would assume considering the way the guys in gym talked about her. But up until the very moment I saw her and Ryan laughing on the couch, I never saw her as a threat to anything we had. She was just...sort of there. I mean, she wasn't all that bright, or funny, and she was like this rich little princess that shuffled from class to class, only looking to increase her popularity by a little bit each day. It seemed like it was her only goal in life. What the others saw in her, outside of a quick lay and a boost in the gossip network ratings, was a complete mystery to me. So...why did I feel my stomach muscles tighten when I saw Ryan laughing at one of her jokes?

I was going to high tail it out of that party, but now I HAD to stay. No way in hell am I leaving my angel in the hands of that foul temptress. I found myself a safe little corner of the kitchen where Ryan wouldn't see me and think I was spying on him. But I made sure it was a corner where I could still...um...spy on him. I didn't want anyone else to ask what I was up to, so I grabbed a cup and went to fill it with some punch so it would look natural for me to just be standing there. There were two different bowls, and I just dipped into the one closest to me. Yelch! It had this weird fruity-tangy-spicy taste to it. Who's responsible for THAT crap? It was a little hard to swallow, but I sipped from it every once in a while to blend in with the kitchen crowd.

Ryan laughed again, and then I saw him blush slightly. What the hell is going on in there? This time, Hailey laughed and touched Ryan on the leg. I was almost ready to run out there and sit between them, breaking up their little 'happy-fun' time. I took another sip of the punch, which after the first few sips didn't seem so bad. Or maybe my taste buds were just recovering from the shock of that initial gulp. I leaned against the fridge and continued my stake out. Dammit..she's TOUCHING him again! Chill out Randy, nothing to worry about. If I run out there, Ryan will think I don't trust him. What am I so worried about? Ryan's GAY for crying out loud. Worrying about him with a girl is like worrying about a vegetarian stealing my cheeseburger. Or...not. Whatever. And there she goes TOUCHING HIM AGAIN!!! That's it! One more touch and I'm going to start shooting spitballs at them both!

I took a gulp of the punch and emptied the little plastic cup. It was actually starting to taste pretty good. I went back and dipped in for another cupful, and headed back to my spot. Just as I raised the cup to my lips, I heard someone call my name from behind. "Hey Randy!"

It startled me a little bit, and I dribbled some juice down the front of my shirt. I turned around and saw Jenny standing there. At least it was a friendly face. I'm not sure if it was her, or that awful punch, but my nerves seemed to be settling a little bit. It didn't seem so bad at all. Except for the Hailey situation...and there she goes again with the TOUCHING! FUCK!

I attempted to ignore their little show for a second and say hello. "Heya Jenny. What's up?"

"Oh nothing. So...you actually came huh? Do you know who invited you? Did you kiss anybody yet?"

"Nope. You?"

"Nope. Actually, I've been really nervous ever since I got here. Usually...I wouldn't be caught dead at one of these things." Jenny said, gently tucking her long brown locks behind her ears. We've known each other for years, but I must admit that this was the first time she ever really seemed like a...well..like a..you know..a GIRL.

"Yeah, me either. But evidently, some girl thought it was time for me to come to one." I looked secretly back over at the couch, and saw that Ryan and Hailey had stopped giggling. I would have thought that it would make me feel better, but instead it was even more disturbing. Because now they were having a serious discussion, and they were making an awful lot of eye contact, and....

"Helloooo..." Jenny said, trying to grab my attention.

"Wha? Huh?"

"I said, why don't we just hang out until you find your date?"

"Oh...yeah. Sure." I said, still heavily involved with what was going on in the living room. "So...how was school today?"

"Um...let's not talk 'shop', okay?"

"Shop?"

"Randy...it's been a long time. Tell me about YOU for once. We don't talk anymore." She said. And she was right. To be honest, I don't even remember how we went from best friends to familiar faces in the crowd. It seemed to happen overnight during the 7th or 8th grade. I never cared for her any less, we just kinda grew apart.

She's right. I came here to have a good time. And of COURSE Ryan is going to kiss Hailey at some point, that IS why we're here. I certainly didn't need to be here to see that. I was likely to throw a temper tantrum. I trust him, and he trusts me. I'll be fine, besides, I've got a good friend, a secret admirer, and a few more cups of this delicious punch waiting on me. Might as well enjoy it. Sigh...one last look. Okay, they're just talking. Ryan really was a charmer when he wanted to be. I could see him looking at her with those sparkling hazel eyes and proudly displaying that cute lopsided grin of is. Go get her tiger, then break her heart in two. Hehehehe...my boyfriend, gotta love him. I do.

I grabbed some more punch, I think it was my fourth cup, but I was beginning to lose track. Jenny pulled me over to another part of the kitchen to talk for a while. It was mostly idle chit chat for the first few minutes, until she brought up some long forgotten memory from our good old days. That one time when we wanted to camp out back in a tent, but her mom and dad wouldn't let us because it was raining. So instead, we set the tent up in the kitchen and kept sneaking out with slingshots to the kitchen counter, pretending to go hunting for oatmeal cookies. Then I brought up the time we put grasshoppers in David's locker. Hahahaha! He HATES bugs! He didn't go back to get his jacket until weeks later! A few more stories like that, and we were both laughing and getting back in sync with one another. It was great. I was sitting on the counter next to the punch, and after a few more cups, everything that we talked about seemed a hell of a lot funnier than normal. I was feeling a little light headed too...a little dizzy behind the eyes. My face was feeling kind of numb, and I was beginning to think something was wrong with me. That's when I saw two guys refill the punch bowl with more of the red liquid. And then...they took two bottles out of the cupboard and poured damn near half a bottle of vodka and half a bottle of rum into it!!! Wait...is THAT what I've been drinking all night? Holy shit! I had like 7...I mean 8...or was it 10 cups of that stuff? I began to notice myself swaying back and forth on the counter, without even being aware of it. The music sounded a bit muffled, and people looked like they were moving around WAY too much. I suddenly wanted to tell everybody to just stand still for a minute and mellow out. It had happened so fast, and yet it crept up on me so silently. I never tasted a drop of the stuff. Now I had a smile plastered on my face, my arms dangled limp from the shoulder, and suddenly my neck didn't seem strong enough to keep my head from swinging around from side to side. My God...I'm drunk.

Okay...okay...don't panic. I can't let Jenny know I'm drunk, so I'll just stop drinking and play it off. I can do that. I'll just articulate my words a little bit more, open my eyes a bit wider, and stop giggling so much. And for Christ's sake Randy, stop swaying back and forth. "Hey buddy, wanna dance?" She said.

"Sure." SHIT! Where did THAT come from? I don't dance! I couldn't dance before, I certainly couldn't dance in THIS state. Why in the hell did I say yes? Had my mouth betrayed me? I wanted to find a way to take it back, but by the time I knew what I had gotten myself into, Jenny had grabbed me by the hand. I was nervous for a second, but as another wave of intoxication hit me, I finally figured, 'what the hell'? I gulped down the remaining hooch in my cup, and got off of the counter, letting my feet hit the floor. I attempted to walk forward to follow her, but somehow, my legs didn't seem to want to obey my commands either anymore. I fell forward the second I took a step, and landed flat on my stomach! I couldn't be sure, but the alcohol didn't seem to be effecting me quite this bad when I was sitting down. The weird thing is, as much as that fall should have hurt, it didn't. In fact, I burst out laughing. I didn't even know why, I just did, and I couldn't stop.

"Omigod, Randy, are you ok?" Jenny asked, helping me to my feet.

"Hahahaha...yeah...yeah. I'm fine. My leg must have...fallen asleep or something...hahaha!" I just kept laughing, and soon, she was laughing with me.

"Hehehe, well what's WRONG with you ya goof?" She asked.

But that only made me laugh louder. With the alcohol swimming in my system, every giggle seemed to tickle every nerve in my body, just making it worse. "Hahahaha! Nothing...I was just...I was just thinking...that now I know how Ariel must feel!" And then I started laughing again so hard that I had to hold myself up by leaning against the counter again. I know she didn't get it, I know she was probably thinking that I was being a wacky little bastard, but the grin on her face showed me that she didn't mind so much. She tried taking me by the hand again, and leading me to the steps, this time slowly. I was still grinning to myself a little, but I used all of my concentration on just making sure I was walking straight. Left foot, right foot, repeat. No problem.

She led me down into the basement, and we made it to the little clearing in the room that was set aside for the dance floor. This time, the basement's 'atmosphere' had changed slightly, and it wasn't because of the punch. People had settled down a bit, moved into the corners of the room. Some were in chairs or on the sofa, some just on the floor and leaning up against the wall. And they were kissing...a LOT. I guess the 'make out' portion of the party had begun. I saw my classmates, basically the people I work with every day, suddenly involved in lip locks with each other. It was an odd sight to say the least. And some of the couples really surprised me, they didn't seem to match at all. As Jenny led me around a bit, I just scanned the room. I was fascinated with the idea of all these people sucking face in front of everybody else. Wow, I was going to be in on all the little hidden relationship gossip tomorrow. I even saw Tommy getting some in an easy chair with this girl Stacy from my math class. I've never seen Tommy date anybody before, and now here he was with a girl on his lap, and french kissing her as though his soul depended on it. He obviously got over his little fight with Wil in the bathroom a few days ago. Because he seemed to be having a great time.

Jenny spun me around to face her, and we danced for a little while. Well...she danced, I just tried to keep from doing another nose dive onto the floor. This wasn't so bad, I was actually having fun. I'm glad I stuck around. I had even forgotten about Ryan and 'what's her name' on the couch. And maybe the pressure was off a little bit because my appointed 'date' hadn't shown herself yet. I'll find her later, I wasn't quite THAT comfortable yet. Right now, I'll just hang out with Jenny. At least I knew what to expect from her. Just then, the dance music faded out, and a slow dance came on. Jenny looked a little nervous all of the sudden, I don't think she was expecting that to happen.

"Say, thanks for the dance Randy." She said, almost ready to run off.

"Oh no....where do you think YOU'RE going?" I said with a smile. I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her closer to me. I embarrassed myself enough tonight, I might as well have her stand here and blush with me.

"I...I...I just figured I'd run upstairs for a minute." She stuttered, getting more and more timid by the second.

"Run upstairs for what?"

"For what? Um...f-f-for punch! Don't you want some more punch?"

I stopped her right away. "NO! Trust me, I've had enough punch for the evening." I put my hand gently on her hip and began to slowly sway her back and forth in tune to the music. She was shaking, too scared to even touch me it seemed. But after a few seconds, she began to loosen up a bit. Just thinking about the whole situation was just weird. I mean, I used jump off of the porch into a puddle of mud with this girl. We used to throw rocks at old lady Madison's greenhouse together. Who would have thought we would be slow dancing at a make out party one crazy Friday night?

We were moving in such a mellow rhythm, Jenny and I. It was almost as if we were moving in slow motion. I heard her sigh contentedly and melt softly into my arms. Her feminine body and teenaged curves molding to me as if it was simply meant to be. She put her head on my shoulder and I held her even closer as the music whispered poetic verses in our ears. It was a weird feeling, dancing here in front of everybody. I mean, I was holding someone, being close to them, and nobody objected. No one stared, no one laughed, no one teased us or whispered behind our backs. It just felt like I was being...'normal'. Like I was finally playing the game the right way. I was dancing with a girl in front of everybody, and I was loving every minute of it. So this is what it feels like to not be so different. I must say, it's kinda cool. But what hurt the most, was the fact that I may never be able to share this moment with the one that I love.

I felt Jenny's hands moving slowly up and down my back as we danced, and she held me even tighter than before. The contact was actually beginning to excite me a bit 'down there'. I was sure that she couldn't feel it, but I was honestly turned on by the idea that we could be so open about being this close to each other in public. Then she said, "You have no idea what this means to me Randy."

"Yeah, this is nice. Maybe we ought to do this more often. It's...you know...cool." Great Randy, that was smooth.

"Yeah...it is." Then we shared a moment of complete silence before I said anything else. I basically told her that I missed having her around, and that I still wanted to be buds. That's when she said something that intrigued me a bit. She said, "Sure...the very best of friends, babe. Now...and forever."

And as she turned her face slightly inwards, her warm breath blowing on my neck, I thought about those words. 'Now and forever'...'now and forever'...where have I heard that before? Then, as her lips gently grazed across my skin, almost down to the shoulder, it came to me. Now and forever! The NOTES! The notes in my locker, in my textbooks, seeing Jenny lurking around my locker every time I found one of them, her telling me the other day that she 'hopes to see me soon'...it was HER! I didn't know what to do. I suddenly got really scared, but I didn't want to do anything to make her think something was wrong, so I just kept dancing. Oh wow...she...she was in love...with ME? So it really WASN'T Ariel putting those little love notes in my stuff. What do I do? I had to ask. I HAD to.

"Jenny...you...did you, like, put...notes...or something...in my locker..." But she stopped me from talking by putting her finger on my lips. She looked up and nodded with a shy smile, her beautiful eyes meeting mine. It was true, it was all true. "Jenny, wait...listen..." But she shushed me again.

"I didn't invite you here tonight to talk Randy. I invited you...for this." And before I could catch my breath, Jenny leaned forward, and very gently, very lovingly, kissed me on the lips. This night was full of surprises indeed.