Weeping Lily - 14. Chapter 14

As soon as Cal gave an indication that he was okay with moving ahead with the plans for keeping the group in the public eye Jeff was on the phone and he arranged for two interviews for that very afternoon.

He also arranged for wardrobe and makeup to attend the hospital and turned the lounge into a makeshift dressing room. Everywhere there was frenetic activity and, for the first time since the fateful party everyone, except Cal, was all smiles again.

As for Cal he spent most of his time with Jayden, escaping the circus and talking to his friend, telling him everything that was going on, laughing softly about the irony and mocking the ridiculousness of it all. Try as he might he couldn’t shake the guilt that was squirming in his stomach about the fact that they were even thinking about getting back on the media train without Jayden.

“It’s not that I want to Jay... not without you. It’s just... it doesn’t seem fair to the rest of them to hold them back when they have been so... so scared and frustrated. Don’t get me wrong, I mean Jeff has been great. It’s not that he has pushed us into this, not as such but...” He sighed and closed his eyes, finding it too painful to look at Jayden, so lost... so far away... so... still, when all that frantic activity was happening just outside the door. It was as if out there it was all about life and action and moving on whereas in here it was... so different.

“I hope I’m doing the right thing. I hope you won’t be angry or upset, that you won’t hate me for this. I have to believe that this is the best for all of us, especially you. You are going to need this, to need the band still on top. I know you, know that you would feel guilty if everything died because you weren’t there.

“It’s still your band Jayden, it’s still all for you. I’m doing it for you, just for you because I know you are going to need this, that it will help you get better... properly better. I am going to do it this time I swear it. No more papering over the cracks, no more running away or hiding from what’s going on. I am going to be there for you, right there no matter what.

“If you need... if you need to be... to... to run... then I will run with you. I will be there when you... taking care of you, making sure you’re okay until you don’t need to do it any more. I am going to heal you, all the way through. You’re going to be alright. This time I swear I am going to make sure that you are alright.”

Opening his eyes he looked into Jayden’s face, its peacefulness belying the turmoil, the pain that went on behind. Hardly aware of what he was doing he stroked the pale cheeks and soft lips, brushing him with the tips of his fingers and the depths of his soul.

“Cal?”

Startled he looked up and Jeff smiled kindly. “They’re ready for you.”

“Already? I... I haven’t been to makeup or anything yet.”

“We thought you would rather skip that.”

“I’m going to look terrible.”

“You could never look terrible even if you tried... and besides... do you think that anyone would care?”

“I guess not.” With a sigh Cal leaned forwards and gently kissed Jayden. “I won’t be long. I’ll be back as soon as it’s over. Don’t go anywhere now.”

As they were leaving the room they met the doctor who looked grim. Immediately Cal felt as if he had been punched in the stomach, terrified by the look.

“What is it? What’s happened? Is it Jay? Is something wrong?”

“Huh?” The doctor looked up and scowled at Jeff. “I take it you are the one who has turned the hospital into a media freak show. The bloody reporters are back harassing my staff and the film crew have completely taken over the staff lounge and restaurant. This is a hospital not a film studio and I have some very sick patients here. Neither they nor their families want or deserve this disruption. I don’t remember having agreed to this.”

Jeff had the sensitivity and good sense to look deeply ashamed. “I’m sorry. I am not used to holding interviews outside the studio and even I didn’t think that it would be this crazy. Look on the bright side... it will give the hospital some excellent publicity.”

The doctor glared at Jeff then stalked into Jayden’s room and all but slammed the door.

“Phew... he’s a feisty one. Maybe I should be a little more careful about discussing the detailed requirements next time.” He shrugged. “And it might be politic to involve the hospital board a little more. Don’t want to get shut down do we?” He turned to grin at Cal and it died on his face. “Cal? Are you okay?”

Cal had half collapsed against the wall, all colour drained from his face. He was somewhere far away but made an effort to pull himself together and gave Jeff a kind of smile.

“I... I’m fine. It’s just... just the look... on his face. I thought... I thought...”

Jeff put a friendly hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry Cal. I should have thought. Try not to worry so much. Jayden is going to be fine.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to say that actually, no he wasn’t, at least not for a long, long time... but he simply shook his head and, pushing off from the wall strode down the corridor making Jeff half jog to keep up.

The restaurant had been transformed. All the tables had been pushed to one side and a backdrop screen hung in front of the widows at one end. In front of the screen were set a chair and two sofas around which crew were crawling like obscene insects, setting up microphones and generally fussing. Cameras, lights and various other pieces of equipment including the ever present miles of cable took up much of the rest of the space not occupied by crew and members of the production team.

The canteen staff and a number of dazed looking people who were presumably visitors were huddled around the far end where the food counters and tills were situated and they were being pushed back relentlessly, bit by bit, getting more dazed and less pleased all the time.

A woman in a business suit with ridiculously high heels and an immaculately, if somewhat heavily made up face was talking quietly to a portly bald man to one side of the couches and she came hurrying over as Cal joined the rest of the group who looked stunning but rather uncomfortable.

“Hello boys. I’m Manya Cole, no doubt you’ve heard of me.” They hadn’t. “I am going to be conducting the interview today.” A look of assumed sympathy fell over her beautiful but bland features and she lowered her voice conspiratorially. “I know this must be a very hard time for all of you and I promise I won’t be too rough on you.” She smiled broadly and raised her voice so that everyone heard. “It is a great honour for me to meet a music phenomenon at such an exciting time in its development.”

“Exciting time?” Cal commented, beginning to get annoyed with this plastic person already. Jeff gave him a hard look and, mumbling he subsided and allowed himself to be herded to the sofas with the rest of the group. He sat down heavily and submitted to a last minute attack with a powder puff. Wouldn’t want his face to be shiny on air now would he?

Manya settled herself in the chair and they completed a number of sound checks which Cal co operated with in a half hearted fashion, which made the others distinctly uncomfortable. Usually in situations like this, unless Jayden was in one of his rare co operative moods Cal was the one who took the lead, whom the others looked to, who dominated the conversation. Without either of them they were lost.

Cal snapped out of his contemplative self pity to realise that everyone was looking at him expectantly.

“Sorry... can you repeat the question?”

Manya smiled, a sickly sweet smile. “I appreciate that this is a very difficult time for you Cal and that your thoughts must be very much with Jayden at the moment but I was asking you how you felt when you first realised that something was amiss, that something had happened to Jayden?”

“How did I feel?” His voice was incredulous and everyone who knew him winced. “How do you think I felt? I was devastated. I fucking fell apart... we all did.”

Manya looked up at the portly man. “Can we edit that out?” He shook his head and Manya turned her smile on Cal, slightly more fixed than it had been.

“Could we do that one again please Cal? We have to bear in mind that our audience is mainly young people and we go out in the early evening. Could you please bear that in mind when giving your answers?”

“No we fucking can’t and no I fucking won’t. For the love of God... Jayden was kidnapped, tortured, abused and almost killed. He’s my best friend and my... his life is still hanging in the balance and you want to know how I feel about it. Fucking awful is how I feel. Like my world has ended, like everything that was important to me has been snatched away and broken. I feel so fucking helpless it isn’t real and half crazy with worry. So forgive me if I couldn’t give a flying fuck for your audience or what time this inane and senseless piece of crap is going to be on TV.”

“Maybe we should take a break.” Manya’s composure was already cracking and she looked uncomfortable and ill at ease. “Perhaps you would like to chat among yourselves for a few minutes and we’ll start again.”

Getting up she walked stiffly off and had a rather heated conversation with the portly man during which he constantly patted her on the back and nodded. Cal ignored her.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“What?”

“You agreed to do the interview Cal. You can’t just sit there and fuck it up for us. It’s worse than not doing it at all.”

“Do you think I am just going to sit here and smile and nod and spout garbage? What the fuck did she expect asking a question like that? What did she think I was going to say?”

“Perhaps she was thinking that, given you are being well paid and getting a whole load of good publicity out of the interview that at least you would not profess to ‘not giving a fuck’ about the audience who is going to be watching it.”

Cal looked up at Jeff with a sharp retort on his lips but, seeing his face and glancing at the faces of the other band members around him he subsided and shook his head.

“Perhaps it would be better if we confine the questions to the rest of the group and you just take a back seat this time?”

Cal nodded, glowering.

“Just try and not look quite so... forbidding.”

“Alright already. I’ll just sit here looking pretty and being a good boy.”

“Perfect.”

Jeff went over to speak to Manya and there were a number of glances in his direction which Cal steadfastly ignored.

Although she gave him a sharp look when she sat down again Manya wisely chose not to mention anything about what had happened and launched straight back into the interview. Clearly Jeff had spoken to her about the agreement because she did not direct any further questions at Cal specifically and he remained silent when she addressed them to the group generally.

After a time he became numb to the pain that every question and every response provoked in him. He tried his best not to be angry with the boys for their eager responses and engagement with the process. Some part of him acknowledged that they were right and he was wrong. This was their bread and butter after all. It was important that they maintain their image and gave the fans what they wanted to see. Otherwise there was no point in doing the interview at all... but it was hard, too hard.

Trying very hard to look interested and alert Cal constantly found his mind wandering to Jayden, wondering what he would have said if he could have heard the questions and responses. In the end he concluded that he would have been highly amused and the thought made him smile. Unfortunately Manya took the smile as an indication that Cal was now ready to take an active part in the interview and broke the agreement by addressing him directly. Jeff, watching and seeing the glint in her eyes wondered whether it was deliberate or not.

“And what about you Cal? How do you envisage the band moving on into the near future without Jayden?”

Cal was stunned and completely failed to catch the horrified expressions on the faces of the other boys and, even more so Jeff, who was standing behind him making frantic gestures with his hands.

“With... without Jayden?”

“Having spoken with his doctor this morning it would seem that Jayden will be out of commission for some time. Surely you are not going to be depriving your fans of what they want... the chance to see their favourite band perform, for all of that time?”

Cal’s eyes went cold and flat. “There is no band without Jayden. It’s as simple as that.”

“But surely you could get someone to stand in until Jayden is well enough to step back up to the plate? I’ve heard that there has always been a friendly rivalry between the two of you over ownership of the mike. Perhaps we will be seeing you stepping into his shoes... temporarily of course.” She was smiling a feral smile which did nothing to appease Cal who felt anger rising like lava in a volcano.

“What ‘friendly rivalry’ there might have been between me and Jayden when he was fit and well is very different to me trying to replace him when he is hurt and ill. This band means the world to him. It’s his in more ways that one and there is no way that we are setting foot on a stage without him. No one stands in Jayden’s shoes. No one is worthy.”

“Can we take that as an official statement then? That there will be no more performances by Weeping Lily until Jayden is able to take part again?”

“Yes... absolutely.”

“Well no... we wouldn’t go that far.”

Cal glared at Luc who glared back. Manya laughed falsely. “Oh dear... do I sense ‘artistic differences’ among the group. Let’s just say that the jury is out on that one shall we?” She turned to face a camera and smiled that false smile again. “It looks as if we are all just going to have to be patient and keep our fingers crossed for those differences to be resolved so that we can see our idols back on top. I’m sure that you are all as anxious as I am to see another live performance by the most popular British boy band since Westlife.”

“We are not...” Rik, who had been sitting next to Cal pinched his hand and when Cal turned angry eyes on him he glared and pursed his lips. Cal sighed but subsided, throwing himself back in the sofa, his face set in a scowl.

Manya turned back. “I’ve heard that since Jayden’s unfortunate experience the popularity of Weeping Lily has soared, with two of your tracks entering the British charts in one week and your album going double platinum. Does it give you comfort in this difficult time to know that your fans are standing by you and showing support in the only way they can?”

Cal snorted but fortunately all three of the others stepped in before he had a chance to say anything, assuring Manya that it was, indeed a great comfort to them to know that their fans were supporting them. Cal crossed his hands across his chest and scowled.

“I am sure that your fans will be delighted that their support is so greatly appreciated and helps in some small way to ease you distress at such a difficult time. No doubt they will continue to show that support and that you in turn would wish to reward them for it. I wonder if you have any plans for working on a new album during the time you are unwilling to perform.”

“We’re not ‘unwilling’ to do anything we just...”

“Jayden lives to write and I’m sure that as soon as he is able to get paper and pen in his hand he will be working on something. Of course I can’t promise anything but I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a new album at the end of this. I can assure you that as soon as we know for certain what is in the offing you will be the first to know Manya.”

Rik cut across him, taking control of the difficult situation as he always did and turning it around. Manya beamed at him.

“I’ll hold you to that.” She twinkled. Turning to the camera she grinned broadly. “There you have it fans. The promise of a brand new album... surely enough to keep you going while you are waiting for Weeping Lily to get back on top of their game.”

Cal half heaved a sigh of relief thinking that the interview was all but over. However Manya had not quite finished with him yet. She had clearly been saving the best for last.

“Just one last thing before I let you get back to your bedside vigil. Cal...” Cal’s head snapped up, catching a certain edge to her voice. The others sat up straighter in their seats and Jeff groaned audibly. “... there has long been speculation that there has been something more than friendship between yourself and Jayden. Can we take it from the fact that you have clearly been hit the hardest by what has happened and are clearly fiercely protective of Jayden, that this speculation was true? Or perhaps it is the awful fact that you almost lost him that made you realise how deep your feeling for Jayden really are?”

Cal stared at her... they all stared at her whilst being absolutely hyper aware of him, ready to move instantly if he exploded. Strangely though Cal didn’t explode, instead he started to laugh and every eye in the room was instantly on him. For a moment Cal spluttered and then brought himself barely under control.

“Gods you are a piece of work aren’t you. You come here, to a hospital, where our friend is literally fighting for his life, and all you care about is when we are going to replace him and if I am fucking him. Classic.” He looked up at the camera and grinned broadly. “I’m sure that our true fans are only interested in the quality of our music and the fact that it is looking promising that Jayden is not actually going to die any time soon and will make their own judgements about the value of this two bit interviewer and her crappy, insensitive interviewing. However, for those of you who don’t give a damn about our music or our wellbeing I have this to say... it’s none of your fucking business who the hell I am fucking and I can assure you that for now... and indeed for the foreseeable future Jayden is in no shape to be fucking anyone.” He turned back to Manya who had frozen in shock. “Edit that.” He said and got up, not stopping until he was back in the relative safety of the lounge.

The room was still crowded with clothes, equipment and people and he couldn’t stand being there for more than a few minutes. Instead he sought out the peace and quiet of Jayden’s room. This time there was a nurse sitting with him. They weren’t taking any more chances. She looked up and smiled at Cal.

“How did it go?”

“It could have been better.”

He sighed and sat down heavily, putting his head in his hands.

“As bad as that?”

“You should be reading all about it in the papers tomorrow.”

“Oh hell... that bad eh?”

Cal looked up and smiled. “Yeah well... the price of fame eh?” Letting his eyes roam tenderly over Jayden’s face the smile softened. “How has he been?”

“The same... peaceful.”

“I guess it’s my turn to fight now.”

“You’ve been fighting the whole time hun. He wouldn’t have made it this far without you.” Cal looked up, surprised. The nurse got up and leaned across the bed to put her hand over his for a moment. “He’s lucky to have someone like you. You’re a good friend Cal. You of all people have been here for him when he needed you. Remember that. You have nothing to feel bad about.”

For some reason the kind words brought tears to his eyes and he blinked heavily. “Thank you.” Smiling the nurse patted his hand and left.

Alone with Jayden at last Cal let the tears flow unhindered. His emotions were in such turmoil he didn’t know what to feel any more, so much so that he actually felt numb, feeling nothing at all.

“Why doesn’t anyone understand Jay? Why won’t they just let us be? Is it worth it? Is it really worth it to have to prostitute ourselves to bitches like that just so we can keep a fame we never went looking for in the first place? I don’t care if our fans forget us. I don’t care if they stop buying our records. I wouldn’t even care if I never set foot on a stage again, just so long as I got to look into your eyes and see happiness there... see love.”

Sniffling Cal stroked Jayden’s face and, closing his eyes, let his fingers explore the curves and linger in the soft hair, which was not so soft any more.

He didn’t hear the door open and was startled when someone touched his shoulder. Snatching back his hand he glared up at Jeff who smiled at him and sat down.

“I guess I’m in trouble huh?”

“No... not really. That was out of order and if anything I think your reaction was restrained... for you.”

Cal smiled. “I hope you told that bitch to go to hell.”

Jeff shook his head. “Nope.” Cal frowned, his face darkening but Jeff wasn’t finished. “That would have been Ashton who did that.” Cal’s eyes widened. “Just after Rik called her an insensitive, cold heartless bitch... and before Luc threw the glass of water in her face.”

“Luc?” Cal was genuinely shocked and Jeff nodded gravely but with a twinkle in his eyes. “Is he in trouble? Is she going to press charges for assault?”

“Hardly. I had a little word with the producer after you left and pointed out that, as the show is not going out for three days it gives us plenty of time to leak to the national press the information that a cold hearted, insensitive interviewer was deliberately provocative and slanderous to the distraught friends of a stricken star practically at the side of his sick bed. He decided that it would be best for all concerned if he simply edited out that part of the interview.

“Actually,” he grinned at Cal, “she was such a bitch that I might just do that anyway... and ask that it be released shortly before the interview comes out.”

Cal sighed. “Don’t do that.”

“Why not? She was completely out of order.”

“You said you wouldn’t. I know that generally in this business a man’s word means very little but it’s important to us that you are different.”

Jeff looked at him steadily for a while then smiled, a gentle smile. “I am a very lucky man... truly blessed. Take some time Cal but don’t forget there is another interview to do this afternoon.” Cal’s eyes widened in a stricken face. “Don’t look like that... you knew the score. You agreed to two interviews. Don’t worry... the other one is for a teen magazine. No lights, no cameras, no makeup and no stuck up wannabe presenters.”

Cal nodded and sighed. “Okay. After making a complete twat of myself last time I suppose it’s the least I can do.”

“Yes... it is.” Cal looked at him sharply but he was smiling.