One Hundred and Fifty-Five Sonnets - 4. inwards

AC, these two seem different. The language is simpler from what you normally use.
Maybe because they are sad, even though they are full of love. Seems your lover, has another life or maybe it's that there is much distance between you both and he wants to share it with you. But it's not part of your shared experience.
oh i dont know. just a feeling....
still beautifully written...

No 7 was just so sad. Wishing so bad that life was different, but having to face the truth as it is shoved in your face... Bursting that bubble of make believe. I don't know if it's 'related' to no 8, but if it is they seem written in the reverse order. Or maybe just showing that wanting someone to be happy doesn't necessarily mean you refrain from hurting them.

No. 7
I distinctly remember reading this sonnet for the first time, thinking "Oh no, of all the men in the world he had to fall in love with a married one, a recipe for heartache". It's such a lonely poem. all the way back home repeating the conversation over and over in your head. Words spoken that cannot become unsaid again.
Leaves me with the question who the "us" are in the last line.

No.8
Not sappy, but very content with just being together.
No matter the miles, no matter the words. I suppose that includes the words from no. 7. Love does forgive.

On 2/9/2016 at 6:42 PM, Mikiesboy said:

AC, these two seem different. The language is simpler from what you normally use.

Maybe because they are sad, even though they are full of love. Seems your lover, has another life or maybe it's that there is much distance between you both and he wants to share it with you. But it's not part of your shared experience.

oh i dont know. just a feeling....

still beautifully written...

Thank you, Tim, for a great review. Yes, they are sad; a minority of these sonnets will fall in that category.

Thanks again for your support encouragement.

On 2/10/2016 at 9:42 AM, Puppilull said:

No 7 was just so sad. Wishing so bad that life was different, but having to face the truth as it is shoved in your face... Bursting that bubble of make believe. I don't know if it's 'related' to no 8, but if it is they seem written in the reverse order. Or maybe just showing that wanting someone to be happy doesn't necessarily mean you refrain from hurting them.

Thank you, Puppilull. I appreciate your review and sentiments. Your review made me think about a possibly misleading wording in 7, which once I changed, hopefully brings 8 into clearer context.

Thanks again.

On 2/10/2016 at 10:59 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

No. 7

I distinctly remember reading this sonnet for the first time, thinking "Oh no, of all the men in the world he had to fall in love with a married one, a recipe for heartache". It's such a lonely poem. all the way back home repeating the conversation over and over in your head. Words spoken that cannot become unsaid again.

Leaves me with the question who the "us" are in the last line.

 

No.8

Not sappy, but very content with just being together.

No matter the miles, no matter the words. I suppose that includes the words from no. 7. Love does forgive.

Thank you, Peter, for a great review. Please see my comments in reply to Puppilull, and also the back and forth we've had in the Live-Poets thread. And I love your input on No. 8.

Thanks for all of your wonderful support of my work. I appreciate it a ton!

No.7 sonnet had an underlying sorrow n maybe hurt? Or pain? I felt like u were in car driving away hurt by the words of ur beloved or maybe felt deceived....M sorry if that's the case

N no.8 (I m not sure if it was related to no. 7 ) but felt like u r cherishing the moment together with ur beloved, n felt quite satisfied just being able to be together...

Both were beautifully written!!

On 7/11/2017 at 1:57 PM, Aviana said:

No.7 sonnet had an underlying sorrow n maybe hurt? Or pain? I felt like u were in car driving away hurt by the words of ur beloved or maybe felt deceived....M sorry if that's the case

N no.8 (I m not sure if it was related to no. 7 ) but felt like u r cherishing the moment together with ur beloved, n felt quite satisfied just being able to be together...

Both were beautifully written!!

Ariana, I really like your take on No. 7. it's quite close...I jotted it down in the car when it was raining slightly... 

Also with No. 8 you come close to the heart of the matter. 

Thank you for another awesome review  

Here is another review from Lyssa

-------------

I got stuck at No. 7. It kind of sings to me and brings old memories back. The feeling of sitting alone in the car, driving a long distance with too much time to think about words that were said and which hurt so much.

I sometimes ask myself why we often don't see the moment coming, when we say something, which is never to be unsaid. On the other hand even hard truths have to be spelled out, for not getting lost in daydreams. And maybe it is the most precious gift we can make, to say even the hard things, so they won't get hurt through their illusions one day by them self.

The composition of your words brought the emotions forward absolute perfectly.

My favorite lines are:
The little drops are like stars, or like tears,
And form a slow-motion constellation
That glows briefly before it disappears,
Taking with it all hope of salvation

A beautiful picture that holds so much sadness and pain. These are very powerful words.
And even this poem is so sad, it magnificent in its power to make the reader feel.
Thanks for sharing this.

P.S. I am so sorry, you had to go through this feelings.

On 9/30/2017 at 12:59 PM, AC Benus said:

I got stuck at No. 7. It kind of sings to me and brings old memories back. The feeling of sitting alone in the car, driving a long distance with too much time to think about words that were said and which hurt so much.

 

I sometimes ask myself why we often don't see the moment coming, when we say something, which is never to be unsaid. On the other hand even hard truths have to be spelled out, for not getting lost in daydreams. And maybe it is the most precious gift we can make, to say even the hard things, so they won't get hurt through their illusions one day by them self.

The composition of your words brought the emotions forward absolute perfectly.

My favorite lines are:
The little drops are like stars, or like tears,
And form a slow-motion constellation
That glows briefly before it disappears,
Taking with it all hope of salvation

A beautiful picture that holds so much sadness and pain. These are very powerful words.
And even this poem is so sad, it magnificent in its power to make the reader feel.
Thanks for sharing this.

P.S. I am so sorry, you had to go through this feelings.

 

Thank you, Lyssa. Fantastic review.

No. 7 is one of the few I can remember writing quite precisely, and as you sensed, it was done while I was in a car. The miles can seem very long in such situations, but your comments make me think the thoughts and feelings in this poem are accessible to most people.  

This is a great review, and I appreciate it a great deal. Thanks again.

these words bring feelings from my memories for me. i find myself agreeing with Lyssa. she says it better than i ever could. very good AC. 

<hi Lyssa>

2 minutes ago, mogwhy said:

these words bring feelings from my memories for me. i find myself agreeing with Lyssa. she says it better than i ever could. very good AC. 

<hi Lyssa>

I'll pass along the hi, and thanks for your praise. These particular two poems were not easy to write.   

1 minute ago, AC Benus said:

I'll pass along the hi, and thanks for your praise. These particular two poems were not easy to write.   

i bet. sometimes certain writings bring gut-wrenching pain and leaving you in pain. sorry for the pain