Wishmuch - 4. Kris

"So, what's with you lately?" my little sister, Amanda asked, peeking her head into my room.

"What do you mean?" I asked, curious.

She slipped her lithe body in, shutting the door behind her quietly. "I don't know... something is going with you, I haven't seen you smile this much in awhile."

Damn. Since when did she become so observant. Before meeting Mike, I had not been out much, in fact, I usually kept myself reserved and private, staying at home most of the times. I hardly even hung out with friends. I guess three dates in a span of 1 month was definitely raising red flags in the family. I gathered my thoughts and decided to go along with feigning confused, "I'm not sure, I'm just generally in a much better mood, nothing is going on," I said trying to sound convincing.

Narrowing her eyes, she pursed her lips contemplating, "You got laid didn't you?"

I was shocked, "Amanda! God, you're only 15, I'm not going to discuss sex with my little baby sister!" I berated her.

Rolling her eyes in defiant, she pressed on, "Did you meet someone special? You know you can tell me don't you?"

Which was indeed true. Ever since the passing of our mom, the two of us were tighter than before. We would tell each other all our problems, dreams, her dates, and secrets. Somehow, withholding this little tidbit seemed to make me feel just a little guilty. Besides, I wasn't out to my family yet. I was no closet case, but I just felt that they might need a little be more preparation... mentally. I would definitely not withhold the truth when asked.

"Well... if I do have something, I'll share you with. Now, if you don't mind, I need to take a shower," I said as I walked towards the joint bathroom.

"Fine," she said, taking the liberty to stick her tongue out to further taunt me before leaving me in peace.

I had phoned Mike last night, ever since we kissed, all I could think about was him and his soft lips. We talked about everything and nothing at all. My family owned a prime condo in the downtown area, I had asked to meet him this afternoon with the intention of showing him the place. The apartment was currently rented out, but we still could utilize the facilities. It came with an infinity pool and a sky garden at level 37. I had no idea how much was the exact cost, but I did know it's worth at least a million dollar. I thought it was a nice weather to frolic and relax.

My dad was well to do, he worked in real estate, sometimes he did his own investments. We never really talked after the passing of my mom. He sort of withdrew into a shell, not willing to communicate to us at all. At some times, I truly believed looking at his children, especially me, reminded him of his wife, my mom, who he dearly loved.

Thinking back, I had known I was gay for a really long time. Especially so when the Titanic movie was screening in the theaters. I could still remember the event crystal clear. We were at the bookstore picking out a reward due to my good results in the examinations. I knew what I wanted. The moment we entered the store, I'd walked straight to the back where the wall was decorated with all sorts of movie posters. Immediately, I'd set my eyes and pointed out to what I wanted- Titanic posters. My mom picked up 2 posters, one of Titanic and the other of Rose.

"So Kris... which one do you prefer?" she inquired earnestly.

With a shake of my head, I picked up the delicious poster of Jack- Leonardo DiCaprio, "I want this."

Yup, she knew for sure.

If she were still around, probably I would have come out long ago, and it wouldn't be any deal at all. With the strained and volatile relationship I had with my dad, I had no idea what was gonna happen when the day arrived. A chill ran down my spine as I entertained that thought.

After I exited the subway, I saw Mike in a casual flip-flops, Bermuda and cotton tee.

Mike... was my fourth relationship. I did not do well with relationships, it had nothing to do with commitment issues. It's just... bad luck in general. The longest was with my first boyfriend, we had an age difference of 5 years. He was caring, manly and I loved his huge biceps. But, unfortunately, I'd dumped him when his answer to my question was to find a girl and get married in the near future. My second boyfriend of a few months was a needy, possessive stalker. He would appear out of nowhere when I was hanging out with friends. My previous boyfriend wanted to invite his friends and had a rape role playing with me. So you see... relationship and I did not bode well. However, Mike seemed different from the rest of them.

And as I made my way towards him, with his smile intact and eyes crinkling at me... he somehow felt different and real. This leap of faith, I hoped it's worth it in the end.

"Hey Kris," he greeted.

"Hi Mike, shall we?" I asked with a smile.