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    Mikiesboy
  • Mikiesboy
  • Author
  • 07/31/2017
  • 401 Words
  • 2,468 Views
  • 19 Comments
The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

timmy's poetry - 43. A Haibun

My first Haibun but not my last. I enjoyed writing this.

I left my apartment, locking the door behind me. Taking the stairs down I considered how much time we spend in buildings made of concrete, and walk on sidewalks made of it. I’ve never been out the city much, yet I find I’m attracted to nature. We have a park nearby, manicured and neat, but in the centre is a small fenced-off space. Inside the fence is a natural pond; barricaded to keep humans out.

As I near the park I can hear the sounds of nature calling to me. The chickadees and red-winged blackbirds singing, the gurgle of water over rocks and the wind as it pushes aside leaves and branches.

 

Perched on high

You call for your mate

Flashes of red as you fly

Feathers of blackest jet

 

~ ~ ~

 

I lean on the chain link fence and wait. There are many short trees and bushes so the view isn’t clear. Nature isn’t at my beck and call, so I have to be patient. Time passes; I am rewarded.

 

  

In the pond it stands, tall and still

The heron watches for its breakfast

Silver and slippery in the water below

In a flash it dips, tosses and swallows

 

~ ~ ~

 

I walk around the pond, looking at the wild overgrowth. There is no order here; the strong grow, leaving the weak to die and become leaf litter for nests and worms. I walk on, away from the wild pond, up a hill where there is a copse of trees. They are conifers, their cones hang heavy and many litter the ground.

 

Sap sticks to my fingers

Tightly closed, hard against the elements

Inside seeds prepare for their future

Ready for release into the world

 

~ ~ ~

 

I carry on walking by a mix of evergreen and deciduous trees toward the other side of the park. I am back on a concrete a path away from this wild oasis. I turn once more to look behind me. I feel more at peace than when I’d entered; somehow closer to the world. I walk toward the exit which leads me to more concrete. I have a choice, return home through the park or take the sidewalk. So I leave behind the perfectly planted border of nodding daffodils and bright red tulips.

 

~~~~~

Thank you to MacGreg for tasking me with writing this piece. A great challenge, Sir. Many thanks to AC Benus for helping me with the rules of the Haibun; a lovely form.
Copyright © 2017 Mikiesboy; All Rights Reserved.
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The content presented here is for informational or educational purposes only. These are just the authors' personal opinions and knowledge.
Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are based on the authors' lives and experiences and may be changed to protect personal information. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

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Chapter Comments

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Reader1810
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I've only seen Herons up north tim, so you have me beat there, but I do enjoy my share of critters off the concrete path.

 

It's amazing and wonderful the delight one can derive from something so simple as seeing a chipmunk or bunnies in the patches of wild forest that refuse to bow down to the encroaching concrete jungle. 

 

Brings a lot of peace and contentment to one's mind and soul, doesn't it? 

 

As always, nicely done, tim. This one, though, is just that little bit more. :hug: 

 

PS: And seeing that I'm not long back from my walk, your timing is brilliant. :) 

 

Edited by Reader1810
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Mikiesboy
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9 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

tim, thank you for taking me on your journey. The Heron and the Redwing, two of my favorite creatures, were captured perfectly by your poetic camera. More important, your reflections illuminate your mind and experience. Beautiful. 

Thank you Parker. Mac had asked me to go to the park, observe and listen and then free write upon returning home. Then i was to try my hand at a haibun. It was a great experience. Thanks for reading.

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Mikiesboy
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8 hours ago, Reader1810 said:

I've only seen Herons up north tim, so you have me beat there, but I do enjoy my share of critters off the concrete path.

 

It's amazing and wonderful the delight one can derive from something so simple as seeing a chipmunk or bunnies in the patches of wild forest that refuse to bow down to the encroaching concrete jungle. 

 

Brings a lot of peace and contentment to one's mind and soul, doesn't it? 

 

As always, nicely done, tim. This one, though, is just that little bit more. :hug: 

 

PS: And seeing that I'm not long back from my walk, your timing is brilliant. :) 

 

I was surprised to see a heron the first time i did. But we've had deer in our apartment complex, they are just coming closer as we mess things up for them i guess. It's kind of neat this pond and how they just left it..of course it has to be fenced off. Sad. 

 

Thanks for your support, i'm glad you enjoyed this.

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AC Benus

As I mentioned to you, I've been feeling something like a Haibun prophet these days, which is a bit odd, because doing the form in English never really occurred to me until recently. So I'm delighted Mac set you this assignment; you achieved a lot here. One of the great things about the form is its ability to set a mood and allow inspiration to carry a poet's soul out into the world and back again - like sonar I guess. What's captured then is a moment of time in the environment, and of the heart too.

 

The contrast here of concrete and wildness could not be better executed because it's understated. I like the image of the heron especially.

 

Well done!      

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Mikiesboy
1 hour ago, MacGreg said:

This is a remarkable piece, tim. Not only because of the content, which expertly portrays the sights, sounds and tangible objects you encountered during your walk, but your ability to transform those images and emotions into a beautiful haibun like this. Excellent work. you did well. 

Thank you, Sir. I have to admit when You first said i was to do this, i was a bit concerned, having never written a haibun. But it was a great challenge. I have to say, also, that the free writing about what i observed helped a lot too.  Thank you, Sir.

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Mikiesboy
21 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

As I mentioned to you, I've been feeling something like a Haibun prophet these days, which is a bit odd, because doing the form in English never really occurred to me until recently. So I'm delighted Mac set you this assignment; you achieved a lot here. One of the great things about the form is its ability to set a mood and allow inspiration to carry a poet's soul out into the world and back again - like sonar I guess. What's captured then is a moment of time in the environment, and of the heart too.

 

The contrast here of concrete and wildness could not be better executed because it's understated. I like the image of the heron especially.

 

Well done!      

I think you're the Haibun prophet on GA for sure, AC. I really enjoyed writing this. I was a bit afraid of it to be honest but i'm very happy with the results. Thank you again for all of your help!  

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Mikiesboy
11 hours ago, mad_artist said:

i really like this tim! i wasn't familiar with a haibun even though Mac writes lots of poetry. This is really beautiful, i love being out in nature there's so much to appreciate and it cleanses the soul.... Mac gave you a good task!

thanks sean!  i don't think many of us were aware of this form until AC Benus posted his ... he is a brilliant poet.  thanks for leaving a comment, i really appreciate it  xo

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Mikiesboy
On 8/3/2017 at 6:54 AM, northie said:

The more I see of haibuns, the more I like them. The flexibility of prose and verse combined is very attractive, and draws me in closer.

 

I too, love waiting quietly for nature to show me her surprises. Great work, tim.

so sorry i'm late with this northie.. you're photographs show your patience, the haibun is a great form of expression, i like them too xo

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Zenobia
On 7/31/2017 at 4:01 PM, Mikiesboy said:

I like it too .. a bit of an essay/comment/prose thing lets you give more detail and the poem is like an accent .. like a drop of that expensive balsamic reduction.. sweet and delicious.

This is such a fitting description and explanation.

I like @Parker Owens's expression "poetic camera" because it's totally clear what he means.

The haibun lets the the reader experience the metamorphosis that the lyrical I experiences (leaving the concrete, going to the park and perceiving nature so intensely, returning to the concrete - but returning with new impressions and implications for future acting), so as a reader I leave the poem with a changed (and better/more positive) attitude.

Kudos, tim ❤️

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