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    AC Benus
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Lyrics for K. - 1. Lyrics for K.

.

Lyric No. 1

 

Sometimes we are the last to see

The evil our own hearts will do;

The last to acknowledge the pain

We capriciously cause others,

Lest it come back and hurt us too.

 

 

Lyric No. 2

 

You’d take a simple gift like that

And subvert its purpose…?

Take my token of affection

As a malus locus;

The center of some evil plot?

 

What about each time we met?

Did I not have a gift

Every time we got together?

This one you make a wedge,

A something to drive us apart.

 

What happened in those few minutes

That turned your heart against

All the joy with which we parted,

Making you come back here

And accuse me of all the worst…?

 

 

Lyric No. 3

 

You say, “I will not apologize,”

Yet I’d not ever ask you to.

 

In bed together I agonize

To get my simple message through.

 

I only want you to recognize

The grief your decisions can do,

 

And then in your arms I realize,

As you pull me tighter to you,

 

Your deeds not only me traumatize,

But your heat of heart feels it too.

 

So we let forgiveness equalize

While arm in arm we start anew.

 

Later, “I will not apologize,”

Tells me the guilt has not left you.

 

 

Lyric No. 4

 

I refuse to think ill of you,

Though of me you think the worst.

For self-preservation reasons,

A villain of me you must convert.

 

 

Lyric No. 5

 

So sad when everything seems tainted,

Like anger has spilled blood everywhere.

 

And all because

The last thing you

Desire to

Think about

Is the first thing

On my troubled mind.

 

And so I look around at the mess,

Trying to staunch my deep-cut sorrow.

 

 

Lyric No. 6

 

Skyscraper:

 

friday night

and a date that won't be

because too much trouble has occurred;

sadness for the two years you would not speak to me,

anger cuz i said too much again,

and forced my too-kind words

upon you.

 

 

Lyric No. 7

 

To hurt me without thought

Is one thing;

To hurt me because I

Make you feel

Is quite another.

 

 

Lyric No. 8

 

So much in the mind of man can destroy;

So too in the heart may rest compassion.

 

 

Lyric No. 9

 

Right now, the sentiments are raw –

what I do, I do to excise,

to remove the plank from my eye

before the splinter from your own.

 

 

Lyric No. 10

 

My grief can coalesce

Around a single word –

Fantasy, more or less,

From you is what I heard.

 

You try to reduce our experience

to something it never was, to negate

every heartbeat, every emotion felt,

and that word becomes the saddest of all –

claiming you were mere make-believe to me.

 

But I have a clear head

And won’t deny what’s true –

Despite what your anger said,

I know you felt it too.

 

 

Lyric No. 11

 

 

Hearts have a right to be broken

When words too rashly get spoken.

 

My love is pheromones and sweat,

Old decisions with doubts beset;

Stale cologne and snatches of lace,

Swirls of affection and disgrace.

 

 

Lyric No. 12

 

Ballade des sens

 

Sometimes a lost breeze will bring you to me,

Simply because of its kinship to scent

I find well-known; whose cleanliness can free

The place in my mind where I keep you pent –

Where your manly smell’s allowed to present

The joys it feels like to be pulled to you

Before any drop of passion is spent,

So I might fall into your arms anew.

 

Sometimes a guy will laugh a certain way –

Settled, his bass resonance like your sound –

Shimm’ring as lure in the manner you’d say

It was time for us to be bedward bound;

For there that note would great music expound

From my framework ringing all through and through,

When once my deepest parts your voice had found

So I might fall into your arms anew.

 

Sometimes the mere brush of the sheet’s enough

To centralize memory’s closed sensation

And your touch return, both tender and rough,

Gripping me to heightened meditation,

Ready to take your profoundest stroke too

Where our pulses join in expectation

So I might fall into your arms anew.

 

Sometimes my eyes close to see more clearly,

And when they do, I spy your little smile,

The one you make and bite your lip merely

To whet the edge of my want for awhile,

Letting me watch your pleasure spread in style

Hov’ring over my mouth, those eyes to view,

Pausing as you enter to gauge my trial,

So I might fall into your arms anew.

 

What taste then over-washes my senses,

Primal and fresh; primordial and bold;

The essence of you without pretenses

Sinks into me now like the days of old,

Slaking my thirst where our lips are ensouled,

But instilling a need that must make do

When you flood only recollection’s hold

So I might fall into your arms anew.

 

Envoi:

 

Kevin, my heart with your past seems all blent,

But my sixth sense always trusts what is true,

Knowing the light of your love never went

So I might fall into your arms anew.

 

    

Lyric No. 13

 

Does every weary heart contain a ghost?

One which must be given up at some point

When the flesh no longer can play the host,

But still mourns with broken tears that anoint….

For you it seems my inmost soul is dead,

Rebuking my shell for continuing

As if there were any more to be said;

Like flowers in dirt, an ‘Amen’ strewing.

Yet, I met a man who took both in hand,

The way you used to do, and he could feel

The fracture tween clay and spirit you demand

And patched all smooth again to finally heal.

No more quiet, self-fired immolation –

I’m done with dying through fragmentation.

 

 

~

 

 

_

Copyright © 2017 AC Benus; All Rights Reserved.
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Poetry posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

this story i know a bit about, i hope these help you define this chapter, reconcile it somehow, and find a place to put it, where it is comfortable, or at least less painful. these, each are so well done ... so telling and raw... i'm glad you have shared them. xo

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Oh, my. Are these lyrics in chronological order? They are beautiful, but their progression is bleak. May their expression give you a measure of peace.

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13 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

this story i know a bit about, i hope these help you define this chapter, reconcile it somehow, and find a place to put it, where it is comfortable, or at least less painful. these, each are so well done ... so telling and raw... i'm glad you have shared them. xo

Thank you, Tim. The exercise of writing these was to deal with a sudden blow. But also to put that hurt to bed. I appreciate your kind words and thoughts here.   

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On 12/8/2017 at 5:38 PM, knotme said:

Oh, my. Are these lyrics in chronological order? They are beautiful, but their progression is bleak. May their expression give you a measure of peace.

Thanks, knotme. Yes, they are presented in the order written. As for why I wrote them, it's not peace so much as being able to set this part aside. The reason is to clean my head and heart so that I can get back to writing an important set of poems connected to this same person. I hope that makes sense....

Thank you for leaving your thoughts. I appreciate it.   

Edited by AC Benus
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I feel the intense weight of emotion in these. They are, well expressed and as always I admire your ability to do so. xo 

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4 minutes ago, Defiance19 said:

I feel the intense weight of emotion in these. They are, well expressed and as always I admire your ability to do so. xo 

Thank you, Def <3

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Like tim, I hope you are through with dying. These reflect the hurt and pain you must have felt, and I grieve that it was inflicted upon you. Yet you have given us glimpses of yourself, and these live now in my memory. 

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1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said:

I hope you are through dying...hugs xo

Thanks, Tim. Hugs back to you 

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48 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

Like tim, I hope you are through with dying. These reflect the hurt and pain you must have felt, and I grieve that it was inflicted upon you. Yet you have given us glimpses of yourself, and these live now in my memory. 

Thank you, Parker. These are great comments and I appreciate them :) 

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I remember reading these when you first posted them and being very touched by the complexity of emotion portrayed in each. Why I didn't comment at the time, I don't know. But I'm very glad you reposted the link on the poet's page so that I could return. 

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1 minute ago, MacGreg said:

I remember reading these when you first posted them and being very touched by the complexity of emotion portrayed in each. Why I didn't comment at the time, I don't know. But I'm very glad you reposted the link on the poet's page so that I could return. 

Thanks for your support, Mac. It's greatly appreciated 

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The lines that moved me most: When the flesh no longer can play the host, But still mourns with broken tears that anoint? and No more quiet, self-fired immolation – I’m done with dying through fragmentation.

 

Well done :)!

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5 hours ago, BDANR said:

The lines that moved me most: When the flesh no longer can play the host, But still mourns with broken tears that anoint? and No more quiet, self-fired immolation – I’m done with dying through fragmentation.

 

Well done :)!

Thanks for reading, B! And welcome back.

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There is love and respect here.. and pain from whatever this guy did to you.  It makes me sad for you and angry with him. I'd tell him so too if it were possible. 

These are beautifully written. 

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3 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

There is love and respect here.. and pain from whatever this guy did to you.  It makes me sad for you and angry with him. I'd tell him so too if it were possible. 

These are beautifully written. 

Thanks, Mike. I wish I could give you a ‘hug’ emoji, but the ‘love’ one will do very nicely 😊

Thank you for reading and commenting 

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While reading your sonnets, I realized that I had read works about Kevin long before officially joining this site. I am glad I rediscovered these sadly beautiful offerings. 

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2 minutes ago, 84Mags said:

While reading your sonnets, I realized that I had read works about Kevin long before officially joining this site. I am glad I rediscovered these sadly beautiful offerings. 

Thank you, 84Mags. I appreciate your reading and commenting

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