Cerulean Dreams - 1. Cerulean Dreams

There is a place shaped by hopes, strong will, faith. A place of wonder. A world beyond the waking world. In this realm a homeless man can be a king, a housewife a goddess, a dog a mountain. This is the dominion of dreams, the Dreamlands. It is difficult to enter, as it lies beyond the outer gates of being, and those few dreamers strong-willed enough are rewarded a world of endless marvel. A world of limitless possibilities. A land of beautiful dreams.

"To sleep, perchance to dream." -Hamlet

[CERULEAN DREAMS]

It was a beautiful view. The sun rested on the edge of the horizon in the distance, throwing red and orange sunshine onto the quietly, lapping ocean waves. Time passed and yet the sun never moved. It rested in a perpetual state of sunset frozen on a far-off horizon. Glittering sand stretched out left and right on this silent, lonely beach. Ryan brushed his bangs from his eyes, the brown hair obscuring his vision of this strange scenery. A cool wind bit at his skin and he shivered at the sudden cold. Rubbing his arms to keep warm, Ryan wondered where he was, and if he was truly all alone here in this unusual place.

At his back a rocky cliff stretched up high above its jagged peaks looming like giant sentinels. Standing on its rocky ledge was a tall, white door. Its silver inlaid frame winked brightly in the steady light of the setting sun.

Was this place real? No. it couldn’t be real, Ryan told himself. This wasn’t reality.

Could this be a dream?

He gazed down at his hand and frowned, flexing his fingers experimentally. It seemed like a dream but more real than any dream he had ever before experienced.

“Something feels... different,” he whispered to himself.

He couldn’t put his finger on it but he felt strange. As if for the first time he was... himself. Not Ryan, the mortal human. Or the Executioner, the celestial soldier. At this moment he felt like both. There was no distinction or glamour to place on his self here. Here in this foreign place, at this time, he was whole. Simply himself.

Ryan spun around his gray eyes peering into the distance. There, he heard it again. Footsteps. He was no longer alone. He tensed up unconsciously, hands automatically tightening into fists. The new arrival stepped away from the shadows of the cliff face. Ryan froze.

It was a young man. They appeared the same age. Long black hair fell in soft curls around his shoulders. He was dressed in a long sleeved, flowing shirt, honey gold, which matched his white pants. His skin was a sun kissed hue that made the blue eyes on his face glow. They seemed to shine with an inner light. Right now those eyes gazed at Ryan with an intensity that made him shiver.

Not with fear. Never fear.

This intensity was of a different class. Profound sadness colored those startling blue eyes. It pierced him and he gasped as his heart psychically clenched at the emotion directed toward him.

“Who are you?” Ryan asked, staring into those drowning eyes.

The sky tore apart at that moment with the cracking boom of thunder. Simultaneously, savage winds howled into existence. The fierce gale kicked up sand and it roared into angry twisters that threw chaos into this quiet place. Ryan staggered thrown off balance, shielding his eyes from the angry sandstorm.

The young man reached for Ryan, stretching his arm out, fingers searching the empty air. His mouth opened in a silent cry, voice lost in the fury of the wind and sandstorm. The wind intensified and the twisters grew wilder. Ryan cried out struggling against the fierce winds. He wanted to grab that reaching hand and fall into that longing embrace. He struggled and his feet moved forward, pushing against the wall of wind. The storm strengthened and Ryan was knocked off his feet. The man lunged and his lips parted in a cry of desperation that was mirrored in blue eyes.

 

Ryan awoke in his bed coming to consciousness with an abrupt jerk. He breathed raggedly while clutching at his rapidly beating heart. His skin was slick with sweat and his sleep clothes stuck to his skin funnily. Groaning he kicked off the suddenly too hot comforter then he collapsed back onto the bed.

He stared at the ceilings as if all the answers were written there. What kind of dream was that? He always considered himself a logical person. Even in his dreams they usually followed some formula of logic. Yet this dream was different. It broke all parameters and its function was undecided. it had felt so real too. He swore that he could almost feel the sand from the beach stuck between his toes.

“Who was that man?” he whispered aloud, frowning at the shadows playing across his ceiling.

Ryan glanced over at the clock and it was a little after eight in the morning. The sun was up and dawning sunlight swam into his room. He swallowed heavily. He thought he was done with unpredictable dreams since he had been awakened as Chosen. The dreams of his past life were the only things that fit into the strange and unusual category. But his gut was telling him the dream was not something from his past. He just knew it.

He slung his feet over the bed and walked to the bathroom. His bare feet padded softly against the soft plush carpet. He flicked on the light and winced at the bright fluorescent lighting. Ryan rubbed at his eyes and splashed some cold water against his face. He absentmindedly reached down and scratched at his feet. His eyes widened as his hand came away smeared with sand.

His lips parted in shock. “No way.”

 

The sun was particularly bright today. The March sun beamed down on the world and the temperature was just right. It was Spring Break and classes were on hold for the annual week long vacation for students. Which wasn’t much of an eventful vacation until one got to college, and the true decadence of the vacation began in earnest. Usually on some beach, probably filmed. For those not in college Spring Break was just a free week of no classes. On this day four youths gathered together to watch a movie at one of their houses.

“Hey Ryan, are you okay?” Chad looked at his silent friend in concern.

Ryan tore his gaze from the wall, blinking his eyesight back into focus. He gathered his thoughts and pushed them aside so he could focus on the present. He looked and found all three of his friends staring at him with equal looks of confusion and worry.

“I’m fine,” he replied, trying to play it off.

Chad frowned. “Well, why are staring at the wall like you’re a pimp and it owed you money? Something is obviously bothering you.”

Adam picked up the remote control and paused the movie playing on the television. A quick retort that everything was okay was already on his lips, but then he stopped and sighed. Killian touched his arm gently and he looked into green eyes expressing nothing but warmth and concern.

“What’s bothering you, Ryan?” Killian asked gently.

Ryan sighed. “Just dreams.”

“Like nice dreams, bad dreams, or the naughty dreams?” Chad leaned in with a fiery intensity in his eyes.

Ryan backed up along the couch a bit, recoiling from him. “Unusual dreams?” he added in the category.

Adam studied him speculatively. “Unusual, like our past life unusual?”

“It was nothing like that. I’m used to those dreams. This was... different. I was standing on a beach and there was this guy.”

“So it was a naughty dream,” Chad smirked. He made an I knew it face like he cracked the case. “I knew you were staring at the wall like bitch better have my money! I bet the dream ended right before the good part, huh?”

Adam snorted and slapped him on the shoulder. Chad made a noise and kicked at Adam’s ankle. He missed and Adam laughed at him. Ryan watched them with a sad, small smile. He wished that he could find someone that could love him the way the two of them was so obviously in love with each other. He glanced at Killian who was watching the couple in disgust. Months ago he thought that he might have found that person. He was wrong.

“Why does the dream bother you so much?” Adam pulled them back on subject. He dodged another one of Chad’s kicks and shot his boyfriend a superior look.

Here, Ryan swallowed. He couldn’t find the words. “I... I... The boy he seemed so sad when he looked at me. Almost longing... When I woke up my feet were covered in sand from the beach in my dream.”

That caused the three of them to tense up. Strange, paranormal acts were things they knew well and took seriously. No matter how strange it sounded. It was what they did.

“What?” Killian's voice had gone quiet, hard. “Are you sure it was from the dream? You do live next to a beach after all.”

“Positive. I haven’t been down to the beach in weeks.”

“Who was this ‘guy’?” Chad asked suspiciously, pulling out a mini notebook and a pen looking ready to quickly jot down any relevant fact.

Adam sighed and dropped his head in his hands. “You’re channeling your inner CSI again aren’t you, darling? I told you those Law and Order marathons are addictive.”

Chad pretended like he didn't hear the accusation. Killian rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath about shaken baby syndrome. He looked at Ryan and repeated the question.

“What did he look like?”

Ryan pushed his glasses up with his finger. It was a habitual action he did in moments of contemplation. It happened so often that he did it without thought. In his mind flashed teasing glimpses of long black hair and piercing blue eyes. He shuddered, feeling the direct gaze crawl across his skin even through his memory.

Ryan smiled, melancholy, gaze locked on that fleeting glimpse of memory. “He looked like a dream.”

They shared looks amongst themselves. Ryan was oblivious to their questioning stares. His distant gaze was focused on the memory of a deserted beach and a young man with sapphire eyes.

 

The highway rushed by and the engine revved as Killian switched gears without pause. The sleek silver Porsche slid effortlessly through traffic as the sky darkened. The setting sun threw a blanket of waning sunlight across the sky. Ryan closed his eyes the view taking him back to that sunset beach and the breathtaking horizon that so closely resembled this one.

“You have that look again.” Killian pointed out. He turned down the radio and secreted a glance at the passenger.

Ryan stared at him, curiosity written on his face. “Look?”

“You get this weird look whenever you think about that dream. I noticed earlier.”

His face flushed and he smiled abashedly. “I must seem so stupid. Getting so worked up over a dream.”

Killian shrugged. “It’s not often people have great dreams. I would hold on to that.”

It was good advice. He had to admit. The colonial style villa with its wraparound porch appeared ahead. The beach rested behind the large house and Ryan smiled. Home sweet home. Killian parked and given his pitying look Ryan invited him in.

“Is your dad ever home?” Killian followed him through the main hallway to the staircase.

Ryan snorted, shrugging. “It’s rare. He’s a doctor so he works long hours and when he’s off, he’s still on-call.”

Killian's sympathetic expression was more than words. Ryan appreciated it. He directed them to his room and they kicked back on his bed as the glow of his television illuminated the room. Ryan looked at the clock and sucked in a breath. Killian jumped out of the way as Ryan dove across the bed to snatch the remote control.

“What the fuck.” Killian watched with wide eyes, wondering if he was imagining the whole thing.

Ryan mashed down on the buttons, hard. The channel switched and he grinned goofily at the program now showing on the screen. Killian just stared at Ryan and then the TV.

“You almost gave me a fucking heart attack just so you could watch the Discovery Channel!”

Ryan shot him a shrewd look. “Mythbusters is a show that's worth having a little heart attack over.”

“It’s the Discovery Channel!”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed into tiny slits. “What’s wrong with the Discovery Channel?”

Killian suddenly smirked. A primal roar left his lips and he jumped passed the space separating them. He tackled Ryan and they went rolling around on the bed. Ryan tensed ready to throw Killian off. He had super strength so he had to be careful when fingers suddenly attacked his midsection. Laughter erupted from his throat. Fingers slid over his stomach and under his shirt, tickling him mercilessly.

“Killian!”

Ryan laughed and hollered, squealing as he thrashed around the bed. Killian hauled himself up so he straddled Ryan. He continued his tickle attack, laughing just as loudly as the squirming boy beneath him.

“Killian, stop tickling me!” He squeaked out between laughs.

Killian’s fingers stopped their torture and Ryan sucked in much needed air as he calmed down. He swatted at the hands that were rubbing lazy circles over his stomach.

“You're still tickling me, clown,” Ryan pointed out.

He sat up just as Killian maneuvered himself to un-straddle himself. They collided midair and their lips met in a sudden kiss. Ryan’s eyes closed as a tongue accidentally went between his lips. He moaned and didn’t register the hands that pushed against his shoulders. Killian pulled back, his cheeks flushed brightly red.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to... umm... do that... totally an accident.” Killian looked down clearly embarrassed.

Right, an accident. Disappointment flooded his body. Were they really going to go through this again? “Killian... Why don’t you just face-”

Killian stood up abruptly. That model face turned perfectly blank. Ryan searched his expression and couldn’t read any trace of emotion. It was a great poker face if he ever saw one.

“Ryan... I can’t,” Killian whispered, those green eyes locked on Ryan’s chest. They were very carefully not meeting his eyes. “I’m not... I can’t...be that way.”

Ryan shook his head rising to his feet and forcing Killian to look at him. “You like me and I like you. You know it and I know it. Why can’t you just face your feelings? Why do you run-”

He stepped back abruptly, his face tightening. “I... I have to go.”

Killian practically sprinted from the room. Ryan glowered at the door. Anger shot through him and his hands tightened into fists. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. One more deep breath. There. He could slowly feel the anger seep from him as he calmed down. He wanted to punch something so desperately. He couldn’t let his anger run wild. If he let loose he could bring down the entire house in a fit of rage. With the vanishing anger, the emptiness inside was filled with a heart panging sorrow. He sat down on the bed feeling bone wearily tired and hurt at the ache shooting in his heart.

Four months. It had been that long since he and Killian kissed the first time. It had been during one of their usual study sessions. They had just looked at each other and then a spark ignited between them. Something in common besides being Chosen. In the other, they noticed another secret attraction. A deep attraction for the other. Suddenly books were sent flying and they were kissing.

It had been the best day of his life.

He had known all of his life that he was attracted to both guys and girls. He had a preference for guys but he also appreciated the female form. Killian had come into his life in a blaze of light. No one saw their friendship coming. Not even Ryan. He was still amazed that Killian considered him a close friend. Maybe even a best friend?

For a while there he thought that maybe they had a future together. A future that equaled the love Chad and Adam so openly showed. It seemed to be going that way. Quietly they acted upon their feelings. Stolen kisses, shy smiles, a brief touch of hands and then it happened. Killian decided they should just be friends and stopped their relationship from going any further. He squeezed Ryan’s hands and softly proclaimed “he couldn’t be that way anymore”.

It had been the worst day of his life.

Today was the first time in a long time they had come together and acted on their mutual attraction. Not since the day Killian had declared they were nothing but friends.

“Why do you do this to me,” Ryan whispered brokenly.

He lay back on his bed and just sighed. He sure was sighing a lot today. Ryan closed his eyes feeling exhausted. He just wanted to stop thinking. Sleep seemed like a good escape as any to leave the reality that was his life at the moment.

   

 

Somewhere a bell tolled and when he opened his eyes the view of the sunset beach greeted him. Ryan took a deep breath and the refreshing scent of the ocean hit his nose. He smiled in content letting the scenery fill him with serenity. He felt at peace here. It was like an instant meditation.

He looked down and realized he was standing on the edge of a cliff. He hurriedly took a step away and his back hit a smooth surface. Ryan spun around and was greeted with the sight of the tall, imposing door that stood all on its own. Ryan frowned touching the polished structure. It was a shining white double door with an inlaid silver frame. His fingers tingled where they touched the surface. Power. This wasn’t an ordinary structure. He studied the door. This was more than a doorway. More like-

A gateway.

If it was indeed a gateway, then it was gateway to where. What points did it connect to?

He didn’t see it until now but there was a carefully made man-made stairwell built into the rock outcropping. Ryan walked down the stairs, his bare feet slapping against cool, smooth stone. He walked out onto the sand and looked around. He was all alone this time. The air shifted and he felt somebody drop down behind him. Ryan stared at the young man, stunned. On his back was pinned a pair of angelic, white wings. They stretched out, fully extended and in the glow of the eternal setting sun he looked truly ethereal.

Those blue eyes bored into him again. The lingering sadness was still present in their depths. Ryan felt pinned by the blue gaze highlighted on that handsome face. His mouth went dry. Even his mind seemed to take a break as it became difficult to form a coherent thought. He was struck by this...angel?

The winged man slowly reached out a hand and his fingers softly trailed down Ryan’s face, then through his hair. Ryan sighed resisting the kittenish urge to nuzzle into the wandering hand. It felt so good. The man smiled. It was a slight smile full of powerful wonder... and hope... that Ryan found himself becoming confused and unexpectedly bashful at all the emotion presented for him to see. He was gorgeous before but when he smiled he was breathtaking.

Ryan looked up shyly. He felt like a schoolgirl with a crush. He was the champion of soul. The Executioner. He could bench press a car for heaven’s sake. When did he get reduced to a blushing teenage boy? He hoped he wasn’t as red as he imagined. He didn’t want to break this moment but he needed answers.

“Who are you?” Ryan watched the winged man’s long hair lift and rise with the gentle breeze.

The man rested his forehead against his. He was about an inch taller than Ryan, which made him an even six foot. They were a hairsbreadth away. If one of them even moved their heads just an inch forward they would be kissing. His heart hammered in his chest, thumping loudly to his ears.

“I'm called Lisilieriel Hacylon.”

His voice was a smooth bass that rubbed at Ryan like a caress. It touched him all over with its sound alone. It didn’t prevent him from blinking at the name.

“What does that mean?” he asked.

He took Ryan’s hand and they turned as one toward the sunset. He pointed at the sunset that continued to sit on the horizon in a continuous act of setting the whole land into lasting twilight.

“It means the cerulean path to nightfall,” he said softly, his hand warm and strong inside of Ryan’s own hand.

Ryan squeezed the hand. “I think I’ll just call you Cerulean.”

“Cerulean” cocked his head. “No one has ever given me a nickname before.”

Ryan tilted his head staring at the stars. He frowned as one by one each star flared brilliantly. That was strange. He looked down as the grip on his hand tightened. With how close they were standing he could feel Cerulean’s body tense up. He looked at that handsome face and was struck by the worry shown there.

They suddenly flashed with a hard determination. Cerulean pulled him close wrapping his arms around Ryan’s waist. He held him protectively staring at the stars in defiance. The wind shifted in a noisy gale and they clutched each other tightly. A foreign presence slithered across Ryan’s senses. They weren’t alone any longer. At the shadows a dozen or so lights appeared, glowing, tall and bright. Ryan winced throwing up his hands as spots flared behind his eyes. It was far too bright to gaze directly at. He was positive that he had caught sight of wings amidst the glowing forms.

Cerulean glared at the luminescent figures. He could see something that Ryan obviously could not. He didn’t like what he saw. He stared at the forms angrily and nodded shortly.

Ryan looked at him. “What’s wrong?”

“You have to go,” Cerulean said. His shoulders slumped and he looked miserable, like a defeated man.

All that warmth and that wonderful peace from earlier was gone. Their quiet sanctuary had been intruded upon. Ryan knew that it wasn’t his choice. He could tell that Cerulean hated the words that had just come from his mouth. But he had to know why. So he asked and Cerulean gazed at him with that familiar yearning and dejected expression that Ryan thought had vanished.

Cerulean sadly shook his head. “It’s the way its always been."

They were forced apart by some external force that sent Ryan stumbling back. He jerked against the invisible power and reached for Cerulean. The sky darkened and the beach shrunk, darkness stretching out to encompass the rest of the light. Cerulean reached to Ryan his expression full of anguish. The land lessened as it was swallowed in the darkness, smothering all sights except each other. Quickly the space between them began to separate carrying them away. Ryan lunged forward seeing his own desperation mirrored on Cerulean’s face.

 

When he awoke it was with regret. He didn’t want to wake up. If harm had come to Cerulean because of him- He balled his fist up anger coursing through him- Something smashed in his hand. Ryan brought up his balled hands to his eyes and stared. In his hands were a handful of soft, white feathers that was such a pure shade of white they could only belong to an angel.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Ryan whispered, staring at the crumpled feathers. “How is this possible?”

He didn’t know what to feel. So many emotions coursed through him. He knew that it was just a dream but things weren’t adding up. How were things carrying into the real world? Ryan ran his thumb along the downy softness of the feather. Most importantly why was he starting to develop feelings for someone who was just a dream?

Or was he?

Ryan walked through the following day in a daze. He felt only vaguely aware what was going on. On the inside, he was a storm of emotions that he was analyzing and dissecting as if all the answers would come if he could just focus himself. But how could he focus if what was going on internally was based off something that wasn’t even reality. He went through the day's motions robotically, his body on autopilot. This did not go unnoticed. His friends circled around him in the command outpost beneath Nathaniel’s mansion ready to confront him.

“Ryan, what’s going on man?” Adam's mouth was set in a concerned frown. “You have that spacey look like yesterday.”

Chad gripped his arm leaning in so close that Ryan found his eyes crossing. He blinked at the serious spark igniting within Chad’s eyes.

“Its drugs isn’t it?” Chad narrowed his eyes. “Who is your pusher? You can tell us, man. We’re your friends. We won’t let you hit rock bottom like Lohan or Spears.”

Killian pushed Chad away. “This is not an intervention you moron.”

“It may as well be one,” Chad snapped. “He looks high! We have to get him help. I’ve seen almost every episode of Intervention. I know what I’m talking about.”

Ryan shook his head feeling a little bemused by the entire thing. “I’m not high or on drugs.” Ryan dug around in his pocket. They gathered around him and looked at the white feathers clutched in his hand.

Adam looked sideways at Chad and whispered loudly, “I didn’t know he had a feather fetish?”

Killian looked at Chad and Adam, who were looking at Ryan with speculative and accusing stares, and shook his head in disbelief. Ryan settled for a half smile. They were so cute. He looked down at the feathers and remembered the man of his dreams. Cerulean.

“These came from my dream.” Ryan smiled wistfully at the feathers in his grip.

Killian frowned. “You’re still dreaming about that guy.”

It was a statement, not a question. Ryan nodded slowly thrown aback by the cool tone. He looked at Killian searching his face for any trace of emotion. His expression was schooled into a stony blankness. Killian had always been better at hiding his emotions than any of them. Ryan just wished Killian wouldn’t hide his emotions from him.

“These feathers are from Cerulean,” Ryan couldn't disguise the fondness creeping into his voice. He didn’t notice it but his friends did. They glanced at each other worriedly. “He has wings. Like an angel.”

Chad cleared his throat, snapping Ryan from his daze. “It sounds like you're crushing on this guy, Ryan. Something weird is going on. Things just don’t appear out of dreams, well unless we’re in A Nightmare on Elm Street film.” He looked at Adam suddenly, paranoia in his eyes. “Are we, baby?”

Adam snorted. “No, sweetheart.”

Killian made a gagging noise. He walked to the control console and pressed a button. “Nathaniel, we need you in Operations please.”

Chad stared at the door without blinking. “The white wizard approaches,” he whispered ominously.

Adam jabbed him in the side. “No more Lord of the Rings for you tonight.”

The entry door slid open and Nathaniel walked into Operations. He was dressed in a designer suit, dark, with a jade tie that matched the green of his eyes. Nathaniel Ruiz. Advisor. And trendsetter. Ryan noticed Chad running an appraising eye over the suit probably memorizing the style for a later shopping trip.

Killian brushed a hand through his blond-red hair. “Nathaniel, Ryan has some guy stalking him in his dreams. He even has some feathers that he took off the guy that came straight from his dream.”

Ryan wanted to interject at the word stalking but refrained. He was curious as to what Nathaniel made of the whole situation. Their advisor carried all of his memories from their past life and he had been around the block in the mystical world. He didn’t just become a wizard by clicking his heels together unlike David Copperfield, who Chad swore worked for the Devil.

Nathaniel turned an appraising eye on Ryan. He looked impressed. “You’ve entered the Dreamlands? It takes a powerful dreamer to enter the land beyond normal dreams.”

Ryan sucked in a breath, his heart hammering wildly. “What are the Dreamlands?”

“It’s a place, a sort of alternate dimension that can be entered through dreams. It has its own geography and peoples. Unlike our own reality, there a person can alter their surroundings by will alone.” Nathaniel took one of the feathers from Ryan’s hand and held it up to the light studying it. “Fascinating.”

“What’s fascinating?” Chad asked before Ryan could. Trust Chad to be more into the story than Ryan. He always liked a good mystery. He thought nobody knew about his hidden Hardy Boys collection. He was wrong.

Nathaniel tore his gaze from the feather. “The only inhabitants of the Dreamlands with wings that this feather could come from are the Dreamcatchers. They’re sort of the police force of the Dreamlands. Some are assigned to protect the dreams of specific sleepers from Nightmares.” Nathaniel smiled at Ryan. “I would say you have caught the fancy of a Dreamcatcher.”

“And that’s a dangerous thing right?” Killian asked. “How do we stop him?”

Ryan shot him a look but Killian wouldn’t meet his eye. “Cerulean hasn’t even hurt me. I can take care of myself anyway.”

“Ryan is in no danger." Nathaniel smiled clearly amused. “I would say that's the very opposite. His companion is basically a guardian angel of dreams.”

Chad stared ahead with a dopey grin. “That is so romantic.”

Adam shook his head. “Be manlier.”

Chad snapped his attention back into focus and stood up straighter, “I mean... that’s really cool. Very butch and macho.”

“Nice try.” Adam laughed.

Killian slammed his fist down on the table startling them. They looked at him in stunned silence. He stood standing with his hands balled into fists, shaking with barely held back anger.

“You guys are acting like everything is normal,” Killian practically spit out. “Ryan's being dream stalked and what, we’re supposed to just go with it? We need to find some way to dreamworld or whatever the fuck it’s called, and go kick the dude in the throat!”

“You mad, huh?” Chad was looking around like he couldn’t believe what was happening. He couldn’t.

Killian ignored him. “You guys really have no problem with this?”

Nathaniel held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Listen, Killian. You don’t understand. Ryan is perfectly safe especially since the Dreamcatcher-”

“Wants to probably rape him!” Killian added, cutting Nathaniel off.

Ryan didn’t know what to say to him. He had never seen Killian so passionate about anything besides maybe a fight with Chad. What did this anger mean? Was he jealous? Hope blossomed in his heart.

Everyone was silent. Killian closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I... I can’t.” He hurriedly turned and exited the room, leaving the rest of them in an abrupt silence.

“Anyone else thinks that was awkward?” Chad's eyes were wide with permanent bewilderment. Adam slowly raised his hand.

Ryan watched the door slide shut. That was it then. He was done waiting. If Killian still couldn’t own up to his feelings then why did it matter if he started to open up to someone else? Killian didn’t care about him. He never did and he never will.

 

Ryan got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He made his way to the sink and wiped the fog from the mirror. He picked up his brush and ran it through his hair. It was at the nape of his neck now and it was looking really “punk rock” according to Chad. Ryan didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing. He liked his hair and really disliked cutting it regularly.

He ran his eyes down his body. He had always been toned. When his powers awakened and he started actively training as Chosen, he had become more defined and muscular. His polos now fit snugly over his torso like gloves. Running a hand down his abs until they rested on the V of his lower abdomen, he decided he rather liked the changes. He picked up his glasses. There was really no need for them. His vision had corrected itself when his powers were released. It was a habit to wear his glasses now and he didn’t want to stop.

He wondered briefly if his father would notice if he stopped wearing glasses. Probably not. His dad loved him, he didn't doubt that, but he was never home. The hospital ruled his life. It was the main reason his parents divorced. In the end, he had to choose between living with his father or mother. Life in D.C. hadn’t really ever suited him, so he had chosen his Dad and they packed up and moved across the country to the west coast.

Ryan slipped on a pair of black mesh shorts and a white shirt. He laid down on his bed tucking himself under the comforter. Ryan stared at the ceiling wondering if he would find himself in the Dreamlands again. He felt his mind wander and his attention wane as tiredness creped through every pore of his body. His eyelids grew heavy and he finally closed his eyes. Sleep welcomed him.

 

Light pierced the darkness and Ryan stepped out of the tall door that he recognized from his dream. It shut with a quiet bang and he stared at it thoughtfully. This was the first time he could ever remember appearing here from the door. To his knowledge he usually just found himself already here, seemingly appearing from nowhere.

He walked down the now familiar path from the cliffs to the beach below. Ryan stopped for a moment to bask in the light of the infinite sunset. The orange rays of light washed over the land and it was a sight that grew more beautiful each time he saw it.

“I knew you would come,” said Cerulean dropping down from the sky. He furled up his wings and they vanished in a burst of silver sparkles that rained down to the glittering sand.

Ryan’s face broke into a smile before he could stop it. “Cerulean!”

Cerulean closed the distance between them and swept Ryan up into his arms. He spun them around making the boy laugh at the lightheartedness of the act. Ryan’s feet touched the ground again and their gazes locked in a mutual stare that communicated all the feelings they felt easily.

“You found your way back to me, Ryan." Cerulean positively glowing with joy. “You're getting good at reaching this world.”

Ryan blushed under that beaming smile. “I have some information on what this place is. This is the Dreamlands. And you're a Dreamcatcher.”

Cerulean chuckled. “You have been busy. And you're correct. This is your own corner of the Dreamlands. Up there," He pointed up at the stars. “Those are but small worlds other sleepers dream up and call their own.”

Ryan was intrigued. “Can we leave this beach? Go somewhere else?”

“All you had to do was ask,” smiled Cerulean, his eyes twinkling.

Their fingers laced together and the world around them shifted, turning a myriad of flashing colors like a living rainbow. The rainbow corridor ended and the world returned to normal. Ryan found himself standing on a grassy plain with Cerulean standing reassuringly beside him.

They stood at the border of a large forest. Cerulean tugged on his hand and they walked down a worn path. Strange noises permeated the forest sounding completely unlike a forest on Earth. Most of the sounds were haunting, making hairs stand up, others were melodic and soothing to the soul. The trees seemed to glow at their edges green and silver. It was as if they were alive and the glow was their living aura.

They emerged from the forest and beheld in the distance a great crystalline city that glittered like diamonds under the bright sky. It rested on the shore of a great blue sea. More blue and clear than any water he had ever seen. It was remarkable.

“That is the sea of Illian Oceno. Resting at the shore is the great city of Infinites.”

Ryan stared in wonder as they drew nearer to the city. Opaque towers, built from frosty crystal, reflected the sun and the city shone like a luminescent jewel beneath the sky. Buttresses joined towers, connected to bridges, each of a design that wasn’t originated to one set of cultures architectural style. People passed them in the street. Everyone was happy, smiling, and dressed in simple robes or functional tunics. They gave Ryan a curious glance since he was still clothed in pajamas, but they didn’t stop traffic or anything.

“It’s so beautiful."

Ryan grinned and laughed as a group of giggling children ran past him almost knocking him over. He watched them in amazement. How were there children here?

Cerulean saw his questioning gaze. “Some sleepers who journey here in their dreams have the chance to retire here if they die in the waking world. Once here they are immortal and have the chances of living out their lives in the Dreamlands. Children are a natural occurrence of inhabitants in the Dreamlands.”

“Unbelievable." He was shocked. It was like his whole world was being turned on its head.

They came upon a glade of trees with a lawn of grass trimmed neatly. Stone benches littered this park and a marble water fountain sprayed clear water from its spout. Children ran and skipped between the trees playing their childish games. They found a spot to sit on a stone bench that overlooked the stone fountain.

Ryan looked down at their interlocked fingers then up at Cerulean. “Why me?”

Cerulean smiled. “Why not you.”

“Stop that.” Ryan laughed. “You’re always making me blush.”

Cerulean ran his thumb over the top of Ryan’s hand. “That is why. Your laugh is like music and you blush when the merest compliment is paid to you.”

Ryan blushed and Cerulean laughed. “Oh, it has been far too long.”

He stilled. Too long? “What are you talking about?”

“I...” Cerulean sighed, his blue eyes dimmed a bit in the gloom. “I have watched over your dreams for many years. Many, many years. I fell in love with you long ago. In your dream, you were dancing. I had never seen anything more wonderful.”

“I don’t even know how to dance,” Ryan denied, still watching Cerulean carefully.

“You did then. When you used to be called Aurek.”

What? How did he know that? This didn’t make any sense. That was thousands of years ago. Cerulean had been in love with him for millennia? It was boggling to his mind. Ryan swallowed trying to fathom the thought. The sadness in his eyes made sense. All that time...

Cerulean closed his sorrow filled eyes. “It was a sad day when Atlantis fell. All those dreams lost in an echo of anguished screams...”

“You have been alive all this time?” Ryan suddenly realized, stunned.

Cerulean looked up at Ryan through his eyelashes. Blue eyes framed by thick black lashes. It was a shy move that showed that he wasn’t as confident as he appeared. Inside he was nervous and vulnerable the same as Ryan. He was putting himself out there and Ryan had the power to deny his feelings.

“I mourned your dreams most of all,” Cerulean admitted. “I used to watch your dreams and bask in the purity of their power. It was beautiful. When the Chosen were reborn the power of your dreams radiated like the new dawn all across the Dreamlands.”

“Was it by your power that I crossed through my dreams into the Dreamlands?” Ryan didn’t understand why he never came here before until now.

Cerulean ran his fingers through Ryan’s hair. “You came here through your own power. It was only a matter of time before one of the Chosen found their way here. You all have a certain magic which makes your dreams more open to the pathway that connects to the Dreamlands.”

Ryan closed his hands, enjoying the feel of the hand. “I don’t even care anymore. Here, with you, feels so good right now.”

“You should leave now,” Cerulean said urgently, staring into the distance.

He followed that gaze and at the border of the park was a quartet. Four men. Each had a pair of white wings pinned to their backs. Ryan swallowed. Dreamcatchers. He glanced at Cerulean and the man was watching his peers with narrowed eyes.

“Will you be alright?” Ryan was worried for Cerulean if he left him alone.

Cerulean nodded, tearing his eyes from the Dreamcatchers. “I will be fine. They won't harm me.”

Ryan wanted to argue but Cerulean smiled at him serenely, placing his palm on his brow. Ryan closed his eyes and felt himself falling. He opened his eyes and was greeted by a void of darkness that sent him spiraling through nothingness. Cerulean’s voice appeared. Not from anywhere close. But in his mind, his voice resonated as if he was near.

“We will see each other again.”

 

 

It was three in the afternoon and his Dad was actually home and not at work. This was a rare occurrence at the Spencer household and Ryan was intent on taking advantage of it. Father and Son made spaghetti. After cooking for an hour and floundering their way through the process, they sat down at the kitchen table to enjoy the fruits of their hard labor.

Benjamin Spencer was a good looking man nearing forty. He was tall, had short, cropped black hair and deep brown eyes. He wore glasses since most of his life his face was buried in a book. Studying in middle school, studying in high school, studying in college, studying in medical school... It was with hard work that he had become Chief Resident at Centennial Medical Center, the best hospital in the city.

“You look different,” Mr. Spencer said, observing his son with a critical eye.

Ryan’s eyes widened. What did he know? He didn’t think he looked any different. He racked his mind for anything that may have given him away as Atlantean or Chosen... Ryan tried to school his face into a blank mask but failed miserably. He couldn’t do it when his father was giving him that searching look.

“I know what it is!” Mr. Spencer announced triumphantly. “Your hair's longer!”

Ryan almost blew the table over with the sigh that left his lips. “I guess so.” He self consciously ran his fingers through the fringe swooping over his forehead.

Mr. Spencer looked at the bicep Ryan made when his hands worked through his hair. “Been working out, son? You’re starting to really fill out kiddo.”

If you considered kicking demonic ass as working out, then yes. “A little bit, yeah.”

“So do you have your eye on any girl...” Mr. Spencer hinted, his eyes twinkling like a kid with candy. Ryan didn’t like that look. “Or guy?”

Ryan blushed from his neck to the roots of his hair. “Dad! Please. I’m trying to eat.”

“What!” Mr. Spencer laughed, throwing up his hands. “A dad has to know these things. Look we moved out here so you can be more yourself. I know you never fit in too well in your school back in D.C. but... I hope things can change here.”

“Things are going really great, Dad,” And that was the honest truth. “I have amazing friends and school is awesome. I like it here.”

Mr. Spencer smiled brightly, relieved and immensely pleased. “I haven’t been home a lot but I’m trying my best here. I just want you to be happy.”

Ryan was touched. He knew his Dad had been trying hard. Like right now. He had set aside time from a very busy schedule just so they could have a nice normal dinner together. It meant a lot that his father was attempting to make up for his absence.

“Thanks, Dad,” said Ryan, really meaning it.

 

It seemed that every night the path down the slumber corridor got easier and Ryan again found himself exiting the door into the Dreamlands. The sunset beach greeted him and he made haste in making his way down the cliffs to the shore below.

He didn’t see Cerulean on the beach. He wasn’t worried. The other man always joined him soon enough. Ryan took a seat on the beach and sitting on the cool sand he stared at the sunset. He had always liked to stare at the sun. The light reminded him of-

“I told you that we would meet again,” Cerulean said knowingly, taking a seat next to Ryan.

A smile tugged at Ryan’s lips. “I didn’t doubt it.”

Cerulean took Ryan’s hand interlocking their fingers. Their shoulders brushed against each other and he laid his head against Cerulean’s shoulder. He didn’t see it but Ryan could almost feel the sadness that lingered around Cerulean.

“I feel there is a sadness about you,” Ryan murmured. “Talk to me, please.”

Cerulean nodded slowly. He moved so his head rested against Ryan’s. “I'm grateful that you're here with me now. I just know that you cannot stay here forever. You will soon leave for the waking world and I will again be alone. It is but one reason why we can’t be.”

“Why can’t we be together?” Ryan was confused.

“Dreamcatchers are warriors, the protectors of the Dreamlands,” answered Cerulean grimly. “We are to always watch, never partake. It is the fate we are resigned to. We belong to separate worlds. It is why the other Dreamcatchers do not want us together.”

Ryan stood up quickly. “I don’t care about all of that,” he stated, conviction clearly in his tone. “It doesn’t matter to me.”

“You never stop amazing me,” said Cerulean in wonder.

The sky darkened and the world around Ryan faded away to darkness. He reached out for Cerulean but the darkness was too thick and it drowned him, pulling him under, swallowing him whole.

 

The four friends gathered together at their usual place in the park. The sun beamed down throwing rays of sunshine into their eyes. Ryan was in a semi trance again, lost in his thoughts, only nodding or answering questions when he was directly addressed. His thoughts were occupied by visions of black hair and drowning blue eyes radiating so many feelings that it left him breathless.

“Hello, Ryan, hello.” Chad snapped his fingers. “Ground control to Major Tom.”

Ryan blinked, coming back to reality with a feeling of disorientation. “Huh, what?”

“You’ve been zoning for like twenty minutes dude."

Adam tilted his head. “Are you still dreaming about him?”

“Dreaming with him,” Killian said moodily.

Ryan glared. He was tired of Killian’s whole attitude about the situation. He tried to meet the other boy’s eyes but he was wearing a pair of designer shades.

For the first time in a long time, the Executioner peaked out from behind the glasses of Ryan. Those gray eyes didn’t flash or glow like the others did when their alter ego bested their mortal forms. His eyes went from warm and friendly to hard and assessing. They weighed you carefully, watching their target like an animal would watch its prey. This was the stare that Ryan leveled Killian with.

“You don’t have the right to make comments like that,” said Ryan coolly. “You don’t get to make them. Not anymore.”

Killian’s lips thinned into an angry line. “I know you. I...” He trailed off, letting out an angry groan, as the words became lost on his lips.

Ryan glared harder. “I thought so.”

“What’s your problem anyway, Killian?” demanded Chad, turning shining blue eyes on the other boy.

Adam sighed, shaking his head. “Tact, baby,” He was looking supremely uncomfortable to be witnessing the fight. “We practiced.”

Killian sneered at Chad. “My problem's not with you so how about you go and get another box of dye. Your hair is such a horrible shade of suicide blond it’s not even funny.”

“Suicide blond?” Adam butted in, confused.

Chad didn’t take his dangerously glowing eyes off of Killian’s. “Suicide blond. It means dyed by my own hand.”

Adam made a sound that was between a choke and laugh. “I thought you were a natural blond?”

Chad rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Adam. You know I am.”

“You two actually get dumber when you’re together.” Killian was astonished. “Why did we even have to know that?”

Chad snorted. “Oh, calm down. It’s not like I went all Queeer as Folk with details. We’ve just seen each other naked while changing.”

“We definitely have to re-practice tact, darling,” Adam said, extremely embarrassed.

 

A cool breeze sprung up and their hair played about its currents. Ryan leaned into Cerulean’s embrace. Their arms wrapped around each other in a protective hold neither one wanting their closeness to end. Ryan nuzzled into Cerulean's neck sniffing the scent of jasmine that always seemed to linger on his skin.

“I don’t want to go back,” Ryan said, voice muffled against his warm skin.

Cerulean rubbed soothing circles along Ryan’s back. “I wish we had more time.” He placed tiny kisses along Ryan’s brow, neck, and cheekbones.

“I just want to show you my world,” Ryan said. “Just once. I want you to see the waking realm.”

What they didn’t see was the stars in the sky flash. Each one belonging to a different sleeper, their dreams nestled away in tiny corners of the Dreamlands. Lights rained from the sky originating from the stars. They landed on the cliffs flaring into existence with bright lights that reached the farthest corners of the beach. The embracing couple broke apart holding the others hand tightly, reassuringly. All along the jagged cliffs, Dreamcatchers dotted the rocks. They stood in a line of shining figures, wings fully extended like a choir of angels ready to sing a glorious hymn.

“From the sun’s rise until its setting you shall walk among the waking souls.” The angels spoke as one voice. It was haunting and absolutely wondrous.

Cerulean gasped, clutching tightly onto Ryan’s hand. “H-how?”

“Your dreams are now his reality. The line of dreaming and waking has blurred for you.”

He smiled fiercely at the glowing angels, gazing at them in hope and adoration. The gift he was being bestowed was worth more than anything he knew.

“Thank you, my friends.”

 

The sun rose over the ocean horizon where the sky and land met. It was a beautiful sight of purple and red, and orange mixed on the canvas that was the sky. Ryan and Cerulean walked hand in hand down to the beach that bordered his house. They had awoken in Ryan’s bed covered in a blanket of white feathers. After hugging for what seemed like an eternity they walked to the beach to watch the sunrise. It was Cerulean’s first time seeing the actual sunrise. He was so overcome that he wept in Ryan’s arms and they laughed together with tears trailing down his cheeks.

The morning blurred in a rush of stolen kisses and dazzling smiles tinged with giddy happiness.

This was a miracle.

 

The Ruiz Estate was situated on a wide expanse of land at the edge of the city. The mansion was a house that belonged on Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous. It may have even belonged in TIME magazine if people knew of its innermost secrets, particularly the structure that existed beneath the building. It was Saturday afternoon and where most people were out at the beach or mall, the defenders of the earth and their advisor met together for lunch. They gathered in the dining room sitting at a table covered with food and drink.

“I thought Ryan was going to be here soon,” Chad mumbled around a sandwich he shoved in his mouth.

“He said he would be a bit late when he called.” Nathaniel watched Chad eat with a sort of disbelieving horror.

Adam batted Chad’s hand that was reaching for chips. “Chew first, darling. You’ll choke. I told you that you shouldn’t have skipped breakfast but no.”

Chad pouted at him. “I didn’t want to miss a second of the Stargate marathon. I’ve already missed the last few episodes of the entire series once before.” His eyes took on a haunted look. “I won’t go through that again. I’d die first.”

Killian snorted. “You’re such a drama queen.”

Chad raised an eyebrow. “I believe my title is prince, cum breath. Thank you.”

A noise from outside the room made them turn their heads. Standing in the doorway were two figures, hands clasped, leaning against each wearing soft smiles. Ryan wore jeans and a white polo that was tight against his broad upper body. Cerulean stood next to him dressed in khakis and button down blue shirt that made his blue eyes stand out even brighter. He didn’t have his wings but there was still a sense of magic about him, and given an urge, he could still bring them out.

Ryan’s face practically glowed with happiness. “Hey guys,” he said, beaming. “This is Cerulean.”

“As in dream Cerulean?” Chad was staring openly at the long haired man.

“How did this happen?” Nathaniel asked perplexed. He looked like he was looking at a miracle. “How did you leave the Dreamlands?”

Cerulean smiled gently at Ryan. “I have until sunset until I must go back. My friends parted the veil of the realms for us to be together. It's good to see all of you in this waking world.” He looked at Adam and Chad. “I have never met you but I have heard tales of the lovers that sometimes walk the same dream. It's a sign of a truly destined pair.”

Adam and Chad shared a passionate look, smiling softly at each other. It was true. Sometimes they always felt as if the other was there even when sleeping. Their connection knew no boundaries. Not even sleep could separate them.

Cerulean and Ryan took a seat at the table. Chad shot Killian a sympathetic look noticing how pale and withdrawn the other boy had suddenly gotten. Chad tried to engage him quietly in conversation but Killian mumbled noncommittally or shrugged in answer. Adam simply put his hand on Killian’s shoulder offering his support in the gesture alone. Ryan saw none of this. He was fully entranced in the presence of Cerulean. They only had eyes for each other.

“Ryan, can I talk to you outside for a second?” Chad asked with steely politeness.

Chad didn’t give the other boy a chance to answer. Ryan was hauled up by his shirt sleeve and dragged after Chad, who was marching from the room, a man on a mission. Chad didn’t stop until they were a good distance away from the dining room. Ryan took his arm back from Chad’s grip, frowning at the shorter boy who was glaring through narrowed eyes.

With his blond hair and cornflower blue eyes, he usually looked friendly than intimidating. This was not one of those times. He stretched out to his full height of 5’9, staring into Ryan’s gray eyes determinately.

“I can’t believe that you would do this to Killian,” Chad hissed.

This was about Killian? “What am I doing exactly?” Ryan asked slowly, confused.

Chad shook his head, appearing more sad than angry now. “You really have no idea,” he muttered quietly. “Killian and I may fight a lot. But that’s partly because we can read each other so well. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because Emrys and Apollo were best friends. I really don’t care. What I know is that Killian is in there suffering silently while you make eyes at dream boy.”

“Killian doesn’t care about me,” Ryan said bitterly. “If he does he would just flat out and say it. He’s scared of admitting his feelings even to himself.”

“It doesn’t matter how scared he is to admit it.” Chad took a breath and said quietly, “He's in love with you.”

Ryan stopped moving. He wasn’t even sure if he was breathing. “What?” he asked breathlessly. “Has he said something to you?”

Chad shook his head, smiling compassionately. “He doesn’t have to say it. It’s in his eyes.”

“You're wrong.” Ryan shook his head, dismissing the notion. “If he felt that way. If he loved me the way I love him-” His eyes widened and his mouth dropped, not comprehending what just left his mouth.

“You love him too! I knew it. Looks like Adam owes me five bucks.”

“I..I...” Ryan stuttered trying to form a coherent sentence.

He stared unblinkingly into the distance trying to organize his thoughts. He was in love with Killian? Ryan felt as if he was out of his body at the moment. He felt weightless and disoriented. Ryan thought about Killian and his heart thrummed and felt tight in his chest. He rubbed at the spot wondering at the clenching in his heart. What was this feeling? He thought about Killian, smiling, laughing, sad, angry, and his heart swelled even more.

“Your head may not know it.” Chad was smiling knowingly. “But your heart knows when it’s in love.”

Ryan put his head in his hands. Things were getting complicated. “But I really like Cerulean. He’s amazing. I really do like him.”

“That may be but Killian has your heart."

Ryan laughed shortly, feeling thrown off by the entire scenario. The only thing he could do was laugh. It was either that or cry. Crying seemed the messier of the two. He was Ryan Spencer. He wasn't supposed to have two guys to choose between. His love life never worked like that.

“When did you get so wise?” Ryan laid a hand on Chad’s shoulder.

Chad shrugged. “I’ve been watching a lot of Molly Ringwald movies.” He smiled wistfully. “Her love life is always a hot mess.”

Ryan blinked. “Okay.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You’ll figure it out.”

Lunch was extremely uncomfortable for Ryan once he had gotten back to the table. Now that he knew his true feelings and how Killian felt, he couldn’t deny the guilt that gnawed at him for enjoying himself with Cerulean while being in Killian’s company. He knew inwardly that he was doing nothing wrong. It was the look on Killian’s face. He looked tired, defeated, slumped in his chair as if he had given up on life. It broke his heart.

Ryan pushed away all the new information and feelings once they got away from the others. He took Cerulean to some of his favorite sites of the city, like the park, the mall, and the library.

The couple strolled along the beach near Ryan’s house. Their hands were clasped as they made their way down the sandy shores. Cerulean stopped and gazed at the horizon.

“I can sense twilight coming,” said Cerulean gloomily. “Sunset approaches.”

Ryan clenched his hand tighter. “We’re almost out of time.”

Cerulean nodded unhappily. He ran his hand down Ryan’s face, cupping his cheek within his palm. “Thank you for making my dream come true. Now it's time to make your own dreams real as well.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You have given me your affection and I will always treasure it,” said Cerulean. “But I know I do not hold your heart. You were in love before you met me. Killian is your first love and no one can take his place in your heart. Including me.”

His mouth went dry as he stared into Cerulean’s compassionate blue eyes. “All this time you knew about Killian?”

Cerulean smiled sadly. “I knew. Your souls resonate like the sound of twin bells. That didn’t stop me from watching you and falling in love.”

Ryan swallowed. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m not hurt,” Cerulean reassured him. “I’ll remember our time together for eternity and treasure what we had.”

A tear trailed down Ryan's cheek and he nodded. The sky started to change and twist with multiple colors as the sun began its journey in the sky. They fell into each other's arms, embracing tightly.

“Be happy,” whispered Cerulean.

It was his parting words that echoed with finality in the air as he morphed into a cloud of shining silver. The sparkling nimbus flew across the blue ocean toward the setting sun where it quietly vanished. Just like his name, Ryan thought. The cerulean path to nightfall.

He was gone. Ryan wiped the tears from his eyes staring at the rapidly darkening sky. He plopped down on the sand. What did he do now? The sun set and night finally washed across the land. It brought with it the stars in all their celestial luminescence.

Another soul joined him on the beach sitting down without fanfare. Ryan glanced over and was surprised to see that it was Killian. He gazed out into the distance staring at the lapping ocean waves.

“What are you doing here?”

Killian shrugged. “I figured you would want some company when he left. So here I am. Company.”

“Oh,” Ryan said surprised. “Well, thank you.”

Killian brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. He rested his head on his kneecaps and watched Ryan through half lidded eyes. They were the prettiest green he had ever seen and Ryan was drawn into that gaze. He turned away breaking their stare.

“He must love you a lot?” Killian's voice was muffled because of the position he was in. He closed his eyes resigned as Ryan nodded. “I hope you two are happy, Ryan. I really do.”

“If we were together I’m sure we would be,” Ryan said just as quietly.

Killian’s head snapped up, his eyes flying open in confusion. “What? But I thought-”

“I don’t love him." He stared at Killian hoping that he would get the truth of his words. He had to know what giving up Cerulean meant for him. Meant for them.

Killian chewed on his bottom lip. “I’m sorry for everything that I put you through, Ryan. With the way I’ve been acting- It wasn’t fair to do that to you.”

“It wasn’t."

“I never meant to hurt you. I was just scared. Scared of being different. More different than I already am,” he sighed. “Hearing that you were starting to like Cerulean broke something inside of me. I was angry. Angry at myself for letting you go and angry at that guy for trying touch what was mine. I just lost it- then seeing you with him crushed everything that I am. I felt incomplete.”

Ryan leaned his head against Killian’s shoulder. “Just say it, Killer,” he whispered, a note of pleading in his voice.

Killian took Ryan’s chin and tilted his head up until they were eye to eye, nose to nose. “I love you.”

“You love me,” Ryan echoed, a smile breaking onto his face.

A smile tugged at Killian’s lips for the first time today. “Yeah, I do. I love you.”

Ryan smiled widely, brightly. “Say it again.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I fucking love you!” Killian said, shouting so loudly that his voice carried down the beach. He smiled satisfied at the expression Ryan wore.

“What if someone hears you?” asked Ryan teasingly. “Will you pull away from me if someone sees us?”

Killian shook his head. “Never.” And he meant it. “I’m done pulling away from you, Ry’.”

“Good.”

And they kissed. It was like Ryan always imagined. No, it was something better. Killian was oxygen. All the time he felt like his feelings were too much, rising above him, crushing him with their intensity this is what he was missing. This was what his body was begging for all this time. Killian was laughing and sort of crying and Ryan was doing the same. It was everything and stupidly perfect. He felt giddy with it. The sound of his heart was hammering in his ears. They broke apart, stealing one last kiss before stopping. They gazed into each other's eyes, breathing heavily and deliriously smiling.

“I love you too, Killer." No matter how hard Ryan tried he couldn't stop grinning. “You hurt me again. And I’ll break your arms.”

Killian laughed a happy sound that captured Ryan’s heart. “Never again, babe.”

Ryan leaned in again and they met together in another kiss. He had no doubts of Killian’s promise. Killian was done running. They were here now together and nothing would change that. It was a tough choice, but Ryan knew he had chosen right. The man of his dreams or the man of his heart? As the champion of soul, he always listened to his heart.

[The End]