Avalanche - 1. Avalanche

‘Hey!’ I put my hand on Julio’s shoulder and he turns his head to look at me.

‘Hey, Bobby.’ He smiles. ‘You made it.’

‘Yeah. Sorry I’m a little late, minor emergency came up along the way.’

Julio shrugs. ‘It’s fine. Buy me a beer and we’re even.’ He drains the one he already has.

I sit at the bar and motion for the bartender. ‘Hey. Two beers. Um . . . what are you having, Julio?’

‘Brooklyn Lager.’

‘Yeah, two of those.’ I look at my companion again. ‘So. How’ve you been?’

He shrugs again. ‘Not too bad. Superheroing. You?’

We drink our beers and chat for a while. One beer becomes two becomes three becomes four. As the drink starts going to my head, I find myself leaning closer and closer to Julio. I tell myself it’s to hear him over the din of the bar, but it’s Tuesday and not very busy, and not actually all that loud. I’m a master at lying to myself. Besides, he’s leaning closer to me too.

It’s getting late, and Julio yawns. ‘Man, I could really go for a cup of coffee.’

‘They may have some here.’

He shakes his head. ‘Nah . . . bar coffee exists to mix with booze. Come to my place, it’s not far. I’ll make a pot.’

And I really shouldn’t. It’s a bad idea, because we agreed we’re not a good fit, and I don’t think either one of us is the kind who does casual very well. But then, I don’t know that. I’ve never tried. Besides, it really might just be a late night cup of coffee (which, incidentally, is also a bad idea, but I ignore that). And so I say, ‘Sure.’ And we leave the bar.

#

It’s not just coffee. In fact, it’s not coffee at all. When we get inside, he turns to me like he’s about to say something, but instead he kisses me, putting his arms around me and pulling me closer. He smells good, and I respond by deepening the kiss, because this is really nice if I just switch off my brain.

‘This okay?’ he whispers against my lips.

‘Yeah. I . . . I shouldn’t have coffee this late anyway.’

He takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom. Then we kiss again, and it’s me taking the initiative this time. We sit down on his bed, just making out until his hand starts moving down my chest to cup me through my jeans. I don’t question it. I’m hard, and his hand feels great, and I touch him too, finding him just as hard as I am.

I want him.

Pressing my lips to his throat, I undo his zipper and put my hand down his pants, rubbing his cock through his underwear. Julio arches his neck, groaning softly, hips moving to meet my hand. Then he pulls off his shirt, revealing his toned chest and arms. I run my free hand up his side, feeling his hot skin, and I push him down on his back, kiss his neck, his collarbone. I lick a trail to his right nipple. Cooling the water molecules in the air, I blow on it, watching it harden, then lick with a tongue cold as ice, and Julio gasps.

‘Fuck . . . what, what did you—?’

‘An experiment,’ I tell him, searching his face. His cheeks are red, eyes wide. ‘Was it okay?’

He nods quickly. ‘Yeah. Can—’ He swallows. ‘Do it again?’ I repeat the move on his left nipple, and Julio moans, head thrown back and eyes closed. ‘Shit, Bobby . . . how’d you come up with that one?’

‘Not actually done it before. It just . . . came to me.’

‘Well, you should definitely keep it in your—ah, fuck!’ He grabs my arm. I just swirled my tongue around his nipple again before biting it gently. I’m liking his reactions a lot. I’ve only really been with Judah before, and we only did it a few times. Given my inexperience, I feel proud that I can make Julio feel good. I want him to feel good, even if this is just a one time thing.

I slide my hand inside his briefs, jerking him as I keep playing with his nipples. The sounds he makes become louder, and he squeezes my bicep hard. ‘Wait!’ he gasps. ‘Not . . . not yet.’

I let go of him and sit up. Julio stares up at me, pupils blown wide. ‘You okay?’ I ask.

He nods. ‘Yeah. Just . . . wanna do something for you too.’ And he sits up as well, reaching for my shirt. He helps me get it off, then reaches for my belt and gets me out of my jeans before pulling down my underwear. He takes me in his hand, stroking slowly, then lowers his head, taking it into his mouth.

I don’t swear much. I’m a teacher, I spend my days around impressionable youth, so it’s not a good habit to get into. But Julio’s mouth is hot, and his hand is cupping my balls, and I let out a trembling, ‘Shit . . . Ah, that feels good!’ I lie back, slide my fingers into his messy hair, pulling gently.

‘Mmf!’ His eyes close. So he likes having his hair pulled too. Good to know. Then he does something. He presses his knuckle into my taint and—there’s no better word for it—vibrates. He’s using his powers to send vibrations straight to my prostate, and I cry out.

I’ve never felt anything like this before. Never got to bottoming with Judah, and though I’ve played around by myself, using my fingers . . . this is not like that at all. This is beyond intense, the feeling building until my thighs are shaking, and I choke out, ‘God . . . Julio . . . I’m gonna—!’ right before I come in his mouth. Damn, not enough warning!

But Julio swallows, looks up at me, and grins. ‘You’re not the only one who can use your powers for sex.’

Sitting up, I pull him to me and kiss him, tasting myself on his lips. He kisses me back hungrily. I just came, but he’s still hard. I push him down on his back again and go down on him. While I suck him off, I let my fingers dance over his torso, stimulating his body with my cold touch. It has the desired effect, small sounds of pleasure escaping him. At the same time, I take him as deep as I can (which admittedly isn’t all that deep as I’m still unpracticed at this), using my hand on what I can’t fit in my mouth. He twists his fingers into my hair, grasping at the sheets with his spare hand.

‘Bobby . . . ah! Fuck, I’m not gonna . . . not gonna last much longer!’ He gasps, and I figure I can’t be worse than him, and so I keep sucking, keep touching. I squeeze his nipple, chilling it at the same time. His hips buck, and I manage not to gag as he accidentally thrusts into my mouth and comes, the salty-bitter taste of it spreading on my tongue. I swallow it down. Not the most pleasant thing I’ve ever had in my mouth, but that’s not important. What’s important is that Julio just came and I did that to him.

Taking my mouth off him, I lie down at his side, caressing the side of his face with my fingertips before kissing him softly. Then I pull him into my arms and hold him for a little while. It feels good to just hold someone.

He sighs. ‘We can’t do this again, Bobby.’

I swallow. ‘Okay. I mean, I . . . I know.’ We’re both silent for a moment, then I ask, ‘Do you regret it?’

‘No,’ he says quickly. ‘Well . . . in a way, maybe. I dunno . . .’

‘It’s like we said before,’ I say, nuzzling the top of his head. ‘We’re not right for each other. I’m not what you need.’

‘And I’m not what you need.’ He raises his head and looks at me. ‘I wish it weren’t like that. I like you, we get along, you’re hot, and what we just did . . . it was nice. Actually, it was pretty spectacular. But I’m just not built that way.’

‘For casual sex, you mean.’

‘Yeah.’

‘I’ve always thought I wasn’t either,’ I say. ‘But, I dunno . . . could be nice. No fuss, just two people enjoying each other.’

‘I hope you find that, if it’s what you want,’ says Julio, resting his head on my chest. ‘I really do. But it can’t be with me. You’re . . .’

‘I’m not him,’ I finish.

He nods against my chest. ‘And Star, he . . . he can do casual, he wants polyamory, but I . . . I just can’t. That was the whole problem. And I can’t go through that again, I can’t be someone’s . . . side piece.’

‘Well, I mean, I don’t have a main piece, so technically you wouldn’t be.’

Julio shakes his head. ‘That’s not the point, Bobby.’

‘I know.’ I sigh. ‘Sorry. I joke when I’m uncomfortable.’

‘I’m sorry, I . . . didn’t mean to make you feel that way.’

‘It’s okay. I figured this’d just be a one time thing, anyway.’

‘I guess I’m just insecure,’ he says. ‘Like, I just keep wondering, why wasn’t I enough? Why couldn’t he be satisfied with just me? He said he needed me to be his guide, but really, he was my guide first. He helped me find this dormant part of myself, one I’d always hidden and felt ashamed of. He did that by just being himself. By just . . . existing. And once it was out, I couldn’t put it back in, and it’s like that part of me is bound to him. Like I don’t know how to be when he’s not around. Meanwhile, he kept evolving, kept learning and changing, and it’s like he didn’t need me anymore.’ His breath catches in his throat and I stroke his back soothingly. When he speaks again, his voice is thick. ‘I just want to feel like I’m enough.’

‘You are enough,’ I tell him. ‘That may not mean much coming from me, but you are more than enough, and if Shatterstar can’t see that, then he’s an idiot.’

Julio laughs through his tears. ‘He’s such an asshole, a lot of the time. But . . .’

‘But you love him anyway. And you can’t help it.’

‘Yeah.’

‘You know, I envy those young guys,’ I say with a deep sigh. ‘Like mini Bobby and his cute, Inhuman boyfriend, though I think maybe they broke up? And those two Avengers kids, Wiccan and Hulkling. They get to be young now, in this world. They get to have rolemodels, they get to know they’re not alone. They can be out to their teams and it’s no big deal, no one cares. I didn’t have any of that. I had to wait years to learn who I am; to even realise I’m gay. So did you. Maybe if we’d grown up in this time, things would be different.’

‘Maybe. But I wouldn’t trade my life before for that. Made me who I am.’

‘Yeah. Same.’ We’re both quiet for a long time, and I think he’s starting to fall asleep, so I say, ‘Hey. Want me to leave?’

Julio shakes his head. ‘No, it’s fine. You can stay the night if you want.’

‘Let’s get under the covers, then.’

We do, though Julio goes to brush his teeth first. He lies down facing away from me, and after checking it’s okay, I spoon him, holding him close.

‘I don’t regret tonight,’ I whisper into the darkness.

‘Me neither,’ he replies. ‘Go to sleep.’

‘Goodnight, Julio.’

‘Night, Bobby.’