Season of Bloom - 20. Bardic Bumble

“You did WHAT?!”

Faes was seeing red. Not even a day back from the Narlmarches, and Lapis was already throwing his weight around without even consulting the hollowborn.

“I gave money to Kaessi to repair the road to Restov, and for three new buildings in Omestra; a tavern, and the two shops that Cassiel was supposed to build.”

“FIFTEEN THOUSAND GOLD! Do you know what we could have done with that money?!”

“And some to Kassil for the fortress,” Lapis added as an afterthought. “He said it should be plenty. The rest would go to the alchemist in Osilion.”

“We’re broke. We have not a copper to our name. What are we going to do if they decide they don’t want us around anymore?” Faes snapped. “Think before you act, you stupid fucking cat!”

“Kaessi assured me the money would be put to good use, and would help the barony grow,” Lapis said defensively.

“Oh I’m sure it will, but what the barony needs doesn’t really matter if we’re being pummelled by a fucking wyvern because someone couldn’t afford the right fucking armour, does it?”

Morning had come, and with it came the news that they were pauper barons, that the amurrun had given all of their gold away in a misguided attempt to see the barony grow. Far from being a good morning, filled with sweet sex and breakfast, Faes was inches away from giving Lapis a scar on his face to match the one on his chest.

The amurrun mewled, backing away from the hollowborn nervously. Khemet was at his side an instant later, the tiger staring with wide eyes at Faes.

Someone cleared their throat, and the two turned. Octavia stood at the entrance to the room, a small frown on her face.

“Well Lapis, it appears the people of the barony are finally starting to trust you. If you’ll join me in the throne room, there are a few people who need your help settling a dispute. Once you’re done here, of course.”

“We’re finished,” Faes said tightly.

He turned back to Lapis, leaning in to murmur into the amurrun’s ear.

“Tonight, we are going to settle this. And I will not be gentle.”

The catfolk shivered at his words, but walked away wordlessly. It took a moment for Khemet to follow, the tiger still staring at Faes.

“A shepherd came before you yesterday, looking to settle a dispute. You see, this shepherd has a favourite cow-”

Lapis snickered at the thought of a favourite cow. He bit the laughter off as Octavia frowned at him.

“Please don’t laugh. This matter is important to your subjects, and you have to aid them. Laughing would be disrespectful,” she said, leading him out of a hall.

They crossed the throne room, Lapis lowering himself into the wooden throne. He sat up straight, his tail curled up in his lap as he waited for Octavia to continue.

“This cow apparently prefers the grass in a neighbour’s yard. The neighbour claims she has been patient to this point, but she finally locked the cow in her own shed, claiming that if she’s feeding the cow, then the milk should belong to her too. The shepherd and the neighbour have been fighting about this for nearly two days now, and they’ve nearly come to blows over it. If things aren’t settled, then they’ll only get worse. The problem is, I don’t know who I’d give the cow to in this case,” Octavia said.

Lapis scanned the empty room, frowning slightly.

“Are they not here now?”

“No, my lord. They left yesterday, but I wanted to get this matter settled anyway. And they wouldn’t accept my word on the matter.”

The amurrun sighed quietly, thinking about the issue.

“If the cow belongs to the shepherd, then he is the shepherd’s cow. The neighbour has been feeding him. Has she even attempted to tell the shepherd she didn’t want the cow grazing on her land?”

“Not that I am aware of, my lord,” Octavia replied.

“Then it is her fault her grass was eaten. The cow still belongs to the shepherd. See it returned to him.”

“Your word is law,” Octavia smiled as Kassil entered the room.

“Ah, there you are my lord. I have a letter from Maegar Varn. He’s the baron of Dunsward, now Varnhold,” the half orc explained. “He’s mentioned a desire to work more closely with us, establishing trade with us. I can read the letter to you if you wish.

“Maybe later,” Lapis frowned. “I feel that is something better discussed with Kaessi present.”

“Of course, my lord,” Kassil nodded. “Tristian would also like to speak to you, before you leave again. I hate to say it, but you might be stuck in the manor for a few days.”

“I think I’ve had enough wandering around for now,” Lapis shrugged. “Go ahead and let him in. And… when you get a moment, I’d like to talk to you in private.”

“Yes, my lord,” Kassil frowned, before stepping out of the hall.

Only a minute later, Tristan approached Lapis, bowing politely.

“My lord, I’m afraid we have a slight problem,” the cleric said quietly, his feet shuffling nervously.

“Yes?” Lapis prodded gently.

“One of your subjects stopped me today about a trader in the town. I don’t know if you are aware, but Cassiel freed Ellesmera from the iron grip of a bandit known as the Stag Lord. It’s been three months since then, and apparently this trader has been seen selling goods stolen from people during the Stag Lord’s reign, in plain view of those he helped rob. I never rush to judgement, but this man is clearly evil. Something needs to be done about him. Your people demand justice.”

Lapis frowned at the cleric’s impassioned speech. He wasn’t even sure how to handle this.

“How would this be handled normally?”

“Normally, a thief would be thrown in jail, if not strung from a gallows in these lands. But I would not wish such extreme force upon this man. He deserves to be punished for his actions. But not with death,” Tristian added quickly.

“Then… see him arrested. His riches can be used to aid those he robbed.”

“A wise decision, my lord,” Tristian smiled. “I will see it done at once.”

The cleric bowed again, before leaving the room. Lapis let out a heavy sigh, standing up from the hard seat. To his dismay, the doors to the throne room opened yet again, a familiar woman approaching him as the amurrun slumped in his seat again.

“Shaynih’a. It’s good to see you,” he said, forcing a smile to his face.

“The pleasure is mine, o worthy one,” the Vudrani woman beamed, sinking into a low bow. “As decided, I have opened a shop thanks to you. It is really more a stall at the moment, but when the proper building is finished, I shall be able to forge great works. However, I find a problem stopping me. Though swift of foot as I am, I require someone to aid me. But I cannot speak of my concern here. Please meet with me in my workshop, and I will let you know what I need to build my masterpieces for you alone, as none other would appreciate the aesthetics of my Vudrani art.”

“Very well, I will meet you out there,” Lapis said, playing with his tail as he waited for the interview to be over.

Shaynih’a bowed again, before hurrying from the hall, and Lapis leapt out of his chair, scampering away from the room before anyone could think to call him back to that accursed throne.

A brush ran through Khemet’s fur, the tiger chuffing as his summer coat was stripped away. Kiba worked diligently on the giant cat’s side. Lapis was brushing Khemet’s belly, a massive pile of fur already building between them.

“I hope you’re going to clean up after your pet,” the tavern owner scowled, looking around the empty room. “You’re scaring away all my patrons too.”

“I’ll make everything right Elina,” Linzi said, approaching the two. “Baron Lapis, I… have something I must confess. About an embezzlement… um…”

The halfing glanced around nervously, her eyes shifting around the room. If Kiba didn’t know any better, he’d think Linzi had done something wrong. But that was ridiculous. Linzi never did anything wrong.

“Calm down Linzi. What is this about an embezzlement?” Lapis asked, moving to brush Khemet’s chest.

“Well, not an embezzlement really; more of a loan. I fully plan to pay it back… or I was planning to. You see… I took some money from the treasury, but I can explain. There was one of those printer presses for sale in Brevoy and I couldn’t help myself,” the bard blurted.

Kiba blinked in surprise. Linzi stole money? But she was so nice, caring. Why would she steal?

“You took money from the treasury for… books?” Lapis asked.

“Well, to make books. I’ve wanted to own a printing press my whole life, and I couldn’t let this opportunity pass. I thought it was better to ask forgiveness.”

“You should have said something to me,” the amurrun frowned, turning back to Khemet. “Good luck with your press, I guess. The gold is gone. I’ll try to keep Kaessi from getting too angry. Just don’t let it happen again.”

Linzi gulped.

“Thank you, Baron Lapis… but there’s one more problem. The wagon carrying the press was supposed to be here by now. But it’s missing. Seeing the menagerie that travels through the Narlmarches, I fear it might vanish into thin air. It was coming along the old Narlmarch road.”

“And you want us to go back into the Narlmarches and look for it. Fine. It’s already been paid for after all,” Lapis sighed. “Let me finish brushing Khemet out and we’ll leave tonight. It shouldn’t take too long to find.”

“Yes! Okay, I’ll be ready,” Linzi beamed. “Just don’t leave without me.”