rima fragmenta, Fragments of a Rift: Fifty Sonnets for Kevin - 12. self-preservational pride

Sonnet No. 23

If with us there is a re-set button,

One in touch with the cosmos to undo,

Would I wish to retract and keep it in? –

Un-say my words that I’m feeling for you.

Bravely at the door, our second goodbye,

I let slip this sex has got to mean more,

For how we connect will harbor no lie,

Sheltering us in half-truths to ignore.

But the way you react tells me I error,

That no part of you wants to now admit

Kinship with the piece of me just laid bare.

You kiss, look concerned, and make your exit.

So, words are words – even those left unsaid –

No un-told lie’s ever better instead.

Sonnet No. 24

Once I watched you depart, I wondered if

You’d see me again; if the door I closed

In aftermath of my verbal mischief

Pronounced a sentence most gravely imposed.

Why do we fear to come into contact

With thoughts welling emotions from inside? –

Is it instinct causing us to react,

Or merely self-preservational pride?

But then I recall how your kiss lingers,

Feel how easy doubt is to demolish

Thinking of your hand grasping my fingers,

To assure me my contact’s not selfish.

If you hold on, then let me be your guide;

We’ll crack your heart, and do it side by side.

 _