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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this crazy story!
I have multiple other books in their entirety available on Gay Authors, so please go check them out as well!

Clown Wyrm - 1. Chapter 1 - Clowns

Two clowns enjoy mead and hotdogs before something horrible happens...

People called Mercury a clown.

Of course, Mercury referred to herself as a clown, but there were quite a few jerks who used the term in a derogatory way. Mercury hated it when people said clown like that.

Mercury was a clown.

She was dressed in a black and white and neon green striped tutu with matching black and white and neon green striped lacy bloomers. The tank top she was wearing was also black, white, and neon green, and she had cut off its bottom third, turning it into a frayed crop top. Mercury was not shy, and she liked showing some skin. She was just under five and a half feet tall, and her body was curvaceous. She had big hips, thick thighs, a round tummy, and she was very cleavagy. Her tall boots were in the same color scheme as her clothes, as were her gloves, which she wished were fingerless because her nail polish was also black, white, and neon green, as was her teased-out wig. Even Mercury’s dramatic clown makeup was done in the same three shades. She had applied a thin layer of white foundation to make her pale skin even paler, and over it she added thick black eyeliner and green diamonds on each cheek with a third on her forehead. She was wearing green lipstick, and she had also drawn veiny green lines along her jaw and at her temples, adding a deathly undertone. Her clown ensemble was perfect.

Some asshole shouted clown at her and threw a drink from a fast-food restaurant in her direction.

Mercury snarled as the hurled soda hit the pavement by her feet and the lid popped off, splashing its contents in her direction. The insult and projectile had assaulted her from a car window, and the vehicle sped off with screeching tires.

Fuck you, you fucking fucks!” Mercury shrieked.

Fortunately, only a small amount of the sticky beverage had splattered on her shoes.

The city where Mercury lived was broken up into separate pockets, like little independent villages, and from where she was standing on Woodburn Street, she was within three blocks of two coffee shops, a grocery store, a pod of food carts, and a high school. Set back from the main thoroughfare on either side were the homes of a neighborhood.

There were quite a few people staring at Mercury with looks of shock on their faces. She gave everyone a toothy grin, adjusted her tutu, which was wider at the sides and shorter at the front and back, giving the impression of wings from her hips, and she continued on her way.

Mercury was headed to meet up with a fellow clown named Periwinkle. They were attending the soft opening of a brand new meadery located in a deconsecrated and refurbished church at the end of Woodburn Street. It was called Unholy Mead. Instead of a bell chiming when Mercury pulled open the front door to the establishment, a gong sounded, as if proclaiming some terrible doom. Quiet electronica thumped from the speakers.

Mercury’s companion was already at the bar with a glass of mead in front of him. “Hi, Periwinkle!”

Periwinkle was the first person who had arrived at the meadery for the soft opening. He turned to Mercury with a grin and said, “Hello, sunshine! I woulda ordered for you, but I didn’t know what you were in the mood for.”

Mercury smiled wide behind her kooky makeup. “I could bite the head off a chicken!”

Periwinkle let out a cackle. “I know just what you mean, ya chic geek!”

Periwinkle’s parents had emigrated from India to the United States in 1996, and he was born three years later. He grew into a beautiful young man. Periwinkle was six feet tall, slender, and effeminate. His skin was deep brown, and he always wore lots of colors. On his head was a tall, pointy hat that he had painted with a rainbow of polka dots, and he had attached fluffy trim around the brim. Blue makeup lightning bolts adorned each of his cheeks, and a pink star was painted on his forehead. Periwinkle’s makeup always looked very striking against his rich skin. He was in a floral red and yellow frilly frock crop top, a tiger-print miniskirt, and four-inch heels adorned with rhinestones.

It made Mercury smile to see Periwinkle also dressed in a belly shirt, revealing his midriff; she thought everyone looked good in crop tops. Periwinkle had cartoony pistols tattooed above both of his hips, and he loved wearing clothes that showed them off.

The owner of Unholy Mead stepped up to the opposite side of the bar from Mercury. “Whot’ll it be, me love?” There was a bandage around one of his hands.

“Hi, Domino, I’d like something summery, please!” Mercury’s beaming grin was still in place; she looked half-crazed.

The owner of Unholy Mead was unfazed by the two bizarrely-dressed characters. “Comin’ right up!” he replied. Domino was also a clown, although he rarely donned his full makeup and regalia since having focused on opening his new business. He had been Mercury and Periwinkle’s clown daddy when they were fledglings.

“And what did you do to your hand?” Periwinkle asked.

Domino shrugged. “It’s nothing. I cut myself slicing lemons.”

“You know, Domino,” Mercury commented, looking around the ex-church’s interior, “with all the creepy shit associated with religion that you coulda named this place after, why’d you land on Unholy? I feel like there were much cleverer options.”

“Coulda called it Sinner’s Mead,” Periwinkle chimed in as he took a sip from his goblet.

“Or Armageddon Mead,” Mercury added.

“Or Exorcism Mead.”

“Or Viaticum Mead.”

Periwinkle glanced at Mercury. “Viaticum?

“Something about the last rights or some shit.”

The owner of the new tavern shook his head at the pair. “You two are too much.”

“What about Heathen Mead?”

“Or Excommunication Mead?”

Domino chuckled. “You’re trouble!” he said to them both.

“Coulda even been Demonic Mead,” Mercury commented as Periwinkle was taking another sip, and her suggestion made him laugh, causing him to choke on his drink and sputter onto the bar top. “Or Malevolent Mead,” Mercury continued as Periwinkle coughed and cleared his throat. “Or Heinous Mead. Or Sinister Mead.”

“And why mead?” Periwinkle asked as he recovered his breath again. He tipped up his goblet and finished the last of the almost sickly-sweet beverage. “Why not wine, or whiskey, or absinthe even?”

Domino laughed again. “We’re clowns! You think if I was gonna make alcohol that I was just gonna make something typical?” He grinned. “Mead was my destiny!”

The gong of doom at the door announced the arrival of the next guests. It was a pair of neighborhood locals who were distinctly not clowns, but Domino had set up his meadery for anyone who was curious about the ancient and mostly forgotten drink.

Mercury and Periwinkle stayed in their corner of the bar for the next hour as several more groups of people came in to check out the remodeled and repurposed church. It was a successful soft opening for Domino and his meadery, but sampling mead was only the beginning of the night for Mercury and Periwinkle, and after saying goodbye to their fellow clown, they ventured out into the dark city streets.

Periwinkle’s stomach growled, and Mercury suggested, “Why don’t we pop over and grab a hotdog at the window?”

Periwinkle snorted a laugh and said, “You know I’m always in the mood for a wiener!”

Mercury let out a cackle. “Wieners it is! To Raunchy’s!”

The night had gotten dark, but Raunchy’s Hot Wiener Window was a twenty-four-hour hotdog restaurant that operated out of the side of a building just off Woodburn Street. There was no inside for guests to hang out, but there were a few tables and chairs against the outside of the building. No one was currently enjoying hotdogs, but the window stayed busy enough to warrant it remaining open at all hours.

The clowns approached to place their order.

“Hello, you two!” called the man from inside. “Been a few days since you last had one of my sausages in your mouth.” He winked, and Mercury and Periwinkle snickered. “What can I getcha? And might I say, you two look particularly smashing this evening!”

The clowns both curtsied, and Mercury ordered first.

“Hi, Raunchy! I want one of your Saucy Kings, please,”

Periwinkle snorted another laugh and added, “I’d love to nibble on your Prince Albert.”

Raunchy gave the pair a playful wink. “That’ll be fourteen-fifty for the deluxe ’dogs,” the man in the window replied, and the two clowns handed him some cash. “Great, I’ll have those out to you in a jiffy. Take a seat.”

“I love all the innuendo,” Periwinkle said with a snicker as the pair picked a table.

Mercury shot him a cheeky grin. “The hotdog names are clever.”

Periwinkle turned in his chair to look at the menu. “‘The Marie Antoinette.’”

“‘Classic hotdog,’” Mercury read from the board, “‘topped with savory whipped cream infused with champagne and cayenne, styled up like the Dauphine’s coiffeur, with a pickle on the side.’”

Periwinkle covered his embarrassed smile with his hands, and he blushed. “Is that because the two of them supposedly went a long time without screwing, because he apparently had an enormous…”

Pickle?” Mercury finished for him. “I think so!” She read the next offering from the menu. “‘The Naughty Duke, two wieners snuggled together on a bun, topped with homemade lemony garlic sauce and chopped gherkins.’”

“That’s my favorite naughty thing to do with my boyfriend,” Periwinkle commented. “Or, I should say, it would be, if I had a boyfriend.” He let out a wistful sigh and Mercury snorted a laugh. “And those are good,” he added. “I had that one last time we came here.” He pointed at the next name and read its description. “‘Smashing Thomas, a naked hotdog for your customization, and we blast a random Cher song every time someone orders it.’” Periwinkle glanced back at Mercury. “What do you suppose the hotdog’s name has to do with Cher?”

“No idea!” she replied, and she read the next. “‘The Inside Outside Inside, a classic hotdog, in a bun, wrapped in ground sausage, baked to perfection and served in an extra-large bun, and who doesn’t love extra-large buns?!’”

The owner of Raunchy’s Hot Wieners came outside to drop off the two clowns’ food, and he chuckled at hearing them reading his menu aloud. “For you,” he said to Mercury, and he recited his menu’s description of her order, “‘a classic hotdog with cheese sauce, hot sauce, magic mustard sauce, and topped with crumbled cracklings.’” He turned to Periwinkle. “And for you, ‘an oversized hotdog pierced and embedded with slivers of onion, sliced gherkins, and chunks of shiitake mushroom, topped with house-made spicy secret sauce.’”

The naughty chef headed back into his restaurant with a smile on his face, listening to the two clowns’ laughter.

Mercury turned back to read the last hotdog from the bottom of the list. “And finally, ‘the Glory Hole!’”

Periwinkle could not help but to burst out laughing as Mercury continued.

“‘An oversized hotdog, stuffed with cheese and chopped jalapeño, encased in a Raunchy’s Hot Wieners’ special three-hundred-sixty degree bun that hides the wiener. Take a bite for a gooey surprise!’” Mercury joined in with Periwinkle’s laughter.

They each dug into their meals.

“Oh my Godzilla,” Mercury said out the corner of her mouth, “this is effin’ killer!” She pulled her phone out of her black and white and neon green purse as she chewed, and she was surprised to see multiple missed calls and several text messages. She made a noise with her mouth full of the delicious food, and she turned her phone so Periwinkle could see its screen. Domino’s name was all over the display.

Periwinkle grabbed his phone as well, and he also had missed calls and unread messages from their old friend.

“What’s this all about?” Mercury asked between bites as she and Periwinkle both opened the messages.

“Domino’s texts are all screwed up,” Periwinkle added. “They aren’t letters.”

Instead of the standard alphanumeric messaging common to cellular phones popping up in the cartoonish texting bubbles, the two phones’ screens displayed symbols of an illegible non-language. The text messages did not have words or pictures, just unreadable marks.

“Did he leave you a voicemail?” Mercury asked. “He left me one.” She opened it and hit the speakerphone button. Static, beeps, and quiet scratching were all that had been recorded. There was no voice, no talking.

“I’ve got one too.” Periwinkle played it, but his sounded similarly scratchy. “Huh, nothing,” he stated as he closed it.

“Should we head back to Unholy Mead and check on him?” Mercury recommended.

Periwinkle groaned. “But we just got our food,” he complained.

“Well hurry up and eat, and then we’ll head over.”

The pair quickly enjoyed their gourmet hotdogs, and as they were finishing, a car full of people showed up at Raunchy’s to order wieners of their own. Mercury and Periwinkle cleared their trays and headed back to their friend’s new tavern through the dark night.

The lights of Unholy Mead were off when they arrived, but the front door to the establishment was ajar.

“What’s going on?” Periwinkle whispered.

Mercury scrunched up her painted face in confusion, and she held up a finger to her mouth for Periwinkle to be quiet. She gingerly pushed the door open the rest of the way, but there was no sign of Domino in the darkness.

“What the hell’s going on here?” Periwinkle reiterated.

“I don’t know,” Mercury hissed back under her breath. “Now hush!”

The two clowns entered the gloom.

Mercury grabbed Periwinkle’s arm, and she pointed at the open door behind the bar. There was a faint glow coming from it. They approached and realized the light was coming from a set of stairs that led down to the cellar where the mead was stored.

Domino?” Mercury called down, but she received no reply. She shrugged at Periwinkle and began to descend the flight with him following behind her.

The illumination grew as they approached the bottom, but the light was coming from beneath the stairs, and Mercury and Periwinkle had to walk around a set of shelves loaded with bottles of mead to find the source of the glow.

To the shock of the two clowns, a silently swirling mass of liquidy matter was hovering beneath the stairs, and it was emanating with an unnerving light. Mercury and Periwinkle’s surprise turned to horror as a pair of eldritch harpoons, like barbed missiles of raw energy, fired out of the light and impaled them in their guts. They screamed and were yanked forward into the preternatural glow. Their wails echoed through oblivion, as their souls were ripped from their flesh, and their bodies were annihilated to unraveling atoms.

Mercury and Periwinkle were no more.

Are the clowns gone for good, or will they return in chapter 2?
2025
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You are awesome! Thank you again for reading my book!
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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9 hours ago, Adam Andrews Johnson said:
22 hours ago, drpaladin said:

 

This monster may call for some... Slim Whitman.. Nothing can resist his voice.

 

I grew up watching this movie over and over on VHS hahaha

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I've seen the movie more than once, but until I looked at imdb  I never knew the grandson/hero was Lukas Haas . Should have recognized those ears.

  • Haha 3
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