Clown Wyrm - 6. Chapter 6 - New Clothes

“How are you doing in there, Mercury?” Mama called at the door to one of her shop’s dressing rooms.

“I’m good, thanks, Mama. I’ll be out in just another second.”

The woman then turned to the other dressing room door. “And what about you, Periwinkle? Need me to come in there and help you?” She giggled.

“Would you?” he teased. “You could assist me with my trousers.”

“What a naughty boi you are!” Mama cackled, and she added, “I just love skinny bois.”

Mercury laughed. “Everywhere we go, Periwinkle attracts the hotties, like you, Mama.”

“Well, he obviously has exquisite taste, and wouldn’t I just love a taste!” Mama and the clowns laughed.

A moment later, Mercury and Periwinkle reemerged in outfits that made them feel much more like themselves. The clothes Mama had helped them find were a pretty good start to rebuilding their looks.

“Hey, sunshine,” Periwinkle said to Mercury, “you look great!”

“I think you both look splendid!” Mama added, and she let out another cackle. Mercury and Periwinkle could not help but to join in with her frivolity.

Mercury was wearing a black and white striped shirt that she had ripped the sleeves off of, and a green skirt that was more forest-green than the neon she usually preferred, but she was happy to have changed clothes. Periwinkle was in a purple blouse with soft pink lace accenting the collar, sleeves, and cravat. He had also chosen a yellow and purple tartan skirt. They each felt much more like themselves again.

“This is great,” Mercury stated, “thank you!”

Mama eyed Periwinkle up and down. “You really are a skinny one, aren’t you, sugar?”

He grinned. “I’ve always been thin.”

“Ah-ha, yes! Tell Mama a little more about yourselves.”

Mercury looked at Periwinkle. They did not know where to start, but before either replied, Mama asked them a question neither was expecting.

“If you were a cocktail, what would be in you?”

The silly inquiry caught the two clowns off guard.

“You first,” Mama demanded with a cheeky smile, and she pointed at Periwinkle.

“Oh, okay, erm… well, I like fruit juice, so there’d probably be…”

“Nope!” Mama interrupted, laughing again. “I don’t want to know what drink you would want for yourself; I want to know what would go into a drink that describes you.”

“I think I know what would be in mine!” Mercury squeaked, raising her hand as if she was back in school.

Mama focused on her with a playfully serious expression. “Tell me!”

Mercury scrunched up her face in concentration. “It would have a cream liqueur base,” she began.

“Love it already,” Mama replied, and she fell into rapt silence as Mercury continued.

“I’d mix the liqueur with a half-shot of espresso in a short glass. The drink would then be topped with a layer of floating goat’s cream, and the whole thing would be dusted with chocolate shavings.”

“I’ll take one!” Mama declared with a laugh. “And I’ll take another for when the first one’s gone! You sound delicious.” She focused back on Periwinkle. “Wanna try again?”

He smiled. “Yeah, I think I do. My drink would start with gin.”

“Ooh lala,” Mama cooed. “And what a way to start!”

Periwinkle could not help but to giggle and blush a little. “I’m thinking there’d be bitters, probably tobacco or smoked bitters, something earthy. Bubbly would go on top, maybe champagne or sparkling water. Oh, and there’d definitely be a cocktail onion in it.”

“I’m drooling,” Mama informed him. “I could just snarf you both down! And speaking of drinks, should we pop over next door and get ourselves a cocktail or a thigelieg with the two jesters who brought you to see me?”

“What is that, Mama?” Periwinkle asked. “We’ve never heard of it.”

She gave them a skewed look. “You’ve never heard of thigelieg? It’s classic honey alcohol.”

“Wait, wait,” Mercury interjected, “you mean like mead?” She shot Periwinkle a glance.

“Oh, yeah, I think mead is another name for it,” Mama confirmed, “but no one calls it that. Now, shall we head next door?”

Mercury and Periwinkle thought that sounded lovely, but then he had a spark of inspiration and asked, “Mama, can we use a little of your makeup?”

“But of course, my dears. In fact, I picked up a new palate the other day, and it came with a second smaller pack for free! You two can have it.”

The colors were not vibrant and clowny, but Mercury and Periwinkle felt good adding a little shadow around their eyes and some rouge across their cheeks.

A few minutes later, as Mama was about to lock the front door to her shop, another article of clothing caught Periwinkle’s eye.

“Oooh, Mama,” he cooed, taking her strong hand, “would it be alright with you if I grabbed one more thing?”

“Of course, sugar!”

She pushed the door open again, and Periwinkle skipped back inside. He grabbed a pale blue sheer overshirt that draped down to his thighs, and he put it on over the rest of his ensemble. There were no buttons or snaps, and the garment hung open down his torso.

“Thanks, Mama!”

She locked up, and the trio stepped up to the front door of Silverwinter’s Botanical Spirits.

Blocking the entrance was the tallest and most muscular man Mercury and Periwinkle had yet seen, and like everyone else, he was very attractive. His arms were crossed, and he was not smiling.

“Password, Mama,” he grunted.

She then recited with a beaming smile, “The first is worst who thirsts for births unearthed with mirth that bursts! And these two are with me.” Mama nodded to Mercury and Periwinkle.

The huge man unlocked the door, and Mama gave him a big smooch on his cheek as she passed.

“Thanks, Goaty.”

Mercury leaned close to Periwinkle as they entered, and she whispered, “I didn’t realize this was a private speakeasy,”

Glimdrim and Krizibop glanced over as the door opened, and both of them raised their goblets and let out a whoop at the sight of the two foreign clowns looking much more clowny.

“Hello again,” Mama said as she sidled up to their table. “Don’t our new arrivals look just peachy now?”

Mercury and Periwinkle twirled, and Glimdrim and Krizibop laughed and cheered.

“Three more drinks for our companions!” Krizibop called out to the woman behind the bar.

“Now, now,” Mama reprimanded with a wide smile, “there’s no call for shouting. We don’t mind walking over to the counter and ordering drinks from Silverwinter ourselves.” She gave Krizibop and Glimdrim each pecks on their cheeks. “No need to get too rambunctious, cuties.” Mama turned to Mercury and Periwinkle. “Come with me, you two!” She hooked her arm in the hinge of Periwinkle’s elbow, and she nodded for Mercury to head from the table to the bar. The three of them stepped up to the grinning woman behind the counter.

“G’d ev’n, Mama.”

“And a good evening to you too, Silverwinter, delightful to see you. These are a couple of new friends, and we’d love some of your fine libations.”

Silverwinter was younger than Mama but older than the two clowns. Her skin was fair, and her hair was blonde. She was about six feet tall, with bright eyes and a friendly smile, and she was beyond gorgeous. Even though Mercury usually partnered with men, she felt profoundly drawn to Silverwinter.

“What can I getcha?” the beautiful barwoman asked, waving at the offerings painted on the wall. The names were confusing to Mercury and Periwinkle.

Old God Killer

Goldenwhiskey, Pomapple Juice, Simple Syrup,

Sparkling Water, Rocks, Garnished with Three Cherries.

Burn the Palace

Smokevodka, Ginger Juice, Smoked Maple Bitters,

Topped with Ginger Beer. Served with a Joint.

Long Live no King

Sourpop Liqueur, Whipped Egg White, Lemon Juice,

Simple Syrup, Straight Up, with a Twist of Lemon.

R’Kathlug Slayer

Dry Vermouth-coated Glass, Goldenwhiskey & Smokevodka,

Marmalade Bitters, Straight Up, Garnished with an Orange Slice.

Death on Two Legs

Schreivseholt, Karlithfruit Bitters, Three Drops of Iolin Oil,

Candorbear Juice, Rocks, Served in a Salt-rimmed Glass.

Sunny Afternoon

Copper Serpent Chili Pepper-infused Gin, Ginger Beer, Lime Juice,

Topped with a layer of Coconut Cream and dusted with cinnamon.

The final beverage named did not seem to fit the theme of the others, and several of the ingredients listed in the different drinks were a mystery to the two clowns. Thigelieg was also an option, and the local name for mead was available in sweet, dry, tart, and floral, but the pub was out of stock in the varieties listed as spicy, citrus, and extra dry.

As the two clowns read through the menu, Mama ordered. “I’d love one of your Sunny Afternoons, please. And I’ve got their drinks,” she added with a smile and a glance at the clowns who were focused on the options painted on the wall.

“Coming right up,” Silverwinter replied, and she began making the beverage for Mama. She flourished the bottles and flipped one of them in the air. Mercury and Periwinkle could not stop themselves from applauding, and Silverwinter placed Mama’s drink in front of her.

“That was impressive,” Mercury commented, and Silverwinter bowed. “I think I’d like to try one of your Long Live no King drinks, please.”

“Right you are, my love,” Silverwinter replied, and she began preparing her order. “What about you, doll?”

Periwinkle smiled. “What do you recommend?”

“If you’re in the mood for something sassy, try the R’Kathlug Slayer. Or if you want something smoother, go for the Old God Killer.”

He nodded. “I’ll have that one please, the Old God Killer. And why are the drink names so, I don’t know, aggressive?”

Silverwinter gave Periwinkle a knowing nod as she prepared the two drinks. “Some folks are supporters of R’Kathlug, others are opposed, and some of us are upfront and vocal in our resistance.”

“Down with the old god!” one of the nearby patrons of the bar shouted, and several others called out their agreement.

Silverwinter was clearly pleased with the reaction. “We know our own.”

“Okay, so can I ask…” Mercury started to say as Silverwinter placed her drink onto the counter. “Oh, thank you.” The cocktail came in a tall, thin glass, and the barwoman placed a small dish beside it with a perfect little hand-rolled joint.

“Ask me anything you want, my dear.”