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Backwoods Reflections - 6. Coyote and Raven

Response to the Metre prompt in the Zero to Hero poetry guide by @AC Benus

The reference poem:
Eternity, by Samuel Waddington

‘Of old,’ spake the priest; spake the parson and preacher –
‘After death, O my Friends, after death is Eternity.’
‘Not so,’ cries my Spirit, ‘not so, O wise teacher!
It was, and it is, and it ever shall be –
Now, now is Eternity! Is it for thee?’

************

The analysis:
(of OLD)(spake the PRIEST)(spake the PAR-SON)(and PREA-CHER)
(af-ter DEATH)(o my FRIENDS)(af-ter DEATH)(is e-TER)(ni-ty)
(not SO)(cries my SPI-RIT)(not SO)(o wise TEA-CHER)
(it WAS)(and it IS)(and it E-VER)(shall BE)
(now NOW)( is e-TER)(ni-ty IS IT)(for THEE)

************

The response poem:
Coyote and Raven, by Backwoods Boy

"So which of us two," said Coyote to Raven,
"Is the best at our task of deceit and divisiveness?"
"I think I am surely the best of the tricksters,
For I fly above you," said Raven, with glee,
"Thus you cannot ever do mischief like me!"

NOTE: As the mythical Native American deity, "coyote" is a three-syllable word.
This is a poetry exercise, and all input is welcome.

Copyright © 2018 Backwoods Boy; All Rights Reserved.
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AC Benus

Posted (edited)

Reading yours, I can definitely feel the rhythms and stresses present in the Waddington poem! This exercise is an interesting one in that there is no correct interpretation of Eternity's metre, but still by making a roadmap of it, the reader should be able to feel connections (meaning in the structures). I certainly get it here, so well done!

I really like Coyote and Raven. It's a strong poem all on its own, so I'm pleased you tacked this metre challenge. But tell me if you are finding yourself looking for metre in things you read now. I hope you've begun to roll the concept of it into your poetry.  

 

  

Edited by AC Benus
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I found the Coyote and Raven poem a quick and enjoyable read. I think in such a few lines, you've captured their essence from Native American spiritualism.

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10 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Reading yours, I can definitely feel the rhythms and stresses present in the Waddington poem! This exercise is an interesting one in that there is no correct interpretation of Eternity's metre, but still by making a roadmap of it, the reader should be able to feel connections (meaning in the structures). I certainly get it here, so well done!

I really like Coyote and Raven. It's a strong poem all on its own, so I'm pleased you tacked this metre challenge. But tell me if you are finding yourself looking for metre in things you read now. I hope you've begun to roll the concept of it into your poetry.  

 

  

Thanks for your encouragement, AC.  I had fun with this once I finally came up with an idea.  Yes, I'm noticing metre, and I've become more conscious of it in works that are not intended to be poetry.  Reorganizing a sentence in a story can make it much more readable simply due to the rhythm produced.  It has played into other writing and also suggestions made while editing.  Given that and the syllable-count concepts already presented, I've been wondering if someone has perhaps by now written a book on The Mathematics of Poetry.  I'll have to go looking. ;) 

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1 hour ago, BHopper2 said:

I found the Coyote and Raven poem a quick and enjoyable read. I think in such a few lines, you've captured their essence from Native American spiritualism.

Thanks for your observations, my friend.  I appreciate your support.  Given the exercise constraints, it required several trips to the online thesaurus as there are other words that might better have been used.  A longer poem might bring more to the table too.  Given the nature of the subject, I might revisit it if and when when AC gets to Limericks.

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I liked this interlude, this poetic parable. The metric roadmap you provided is reflected in the poem beautifully. 

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9 hours ago, Backwoods Boy said:

 Reorganizing a sentence in a story can make it much more readable simply due to the rhythm produced.  

Amen. That's why I'd rather be a poet who writes prose than the other way 'round ;) 

 

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10 hours ago, Backwoods Boy said:

Thanks for your encouragement, AC.  I had fun with this once I finally came up with an idea.  Yes, I'm noticing metre, and I've become more conscious of it in works that are not intended to be poetry.  Reorganizing a sentence in a story can make it much more readable simply due to the rhythm produced.  It has played into other writing and also suggestions made while editing.  Given that and the syllable-count concepts already presented, I've been wondering if someone has perhaps by now written a book on The Mathematics of Poetry.  I'll have to go looking. ;) 

Great feedback, and I appreciate it. As for the math of metre, I think @Parker Owensis the perfect one to head up such a writing adventure. He is our resident mathematical bard, for sure :)

 

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