A Jewel in the Dirt - 24. Between Pleasure and Grief

"What are you doing here?"

Dante hissed, startled, and withdrew his hand from his pants. "What are you doing here?" he asked back, staring at Frank, who stood in the bathroom doorway with a towel around his hips, dripping wet.

"I live here," he said dignified.

"But not at this hour!" Dante's body screamed for relief, for Mistress Alice had known no other subject than underwear the entire way back, and he had a lot of animated images in his mind- he couldn't go down to the kitchen and take care of dinner in this state. Frank's room had seemed like a quiet sanctuary to him, since Frank was supposed to still be out.

"Pa sent me in so he could discuss important things with Tom," Frank said slowly, eyeing Dante. "Which doesn't mean anything other than he's fucking him." More animated images. "How was your shopping trip?"

"Great. Enlightening." Dante made a vague gesture while Frank raised a brow questioningly. "I like boobs, and your sister has a very nice pair of them," Dante blurted out. "And she's been talking about blowjobs and letting me check out her new underwear and now I just want to shake one off real quick before I accidentally cut one too many leek stems in the kitchen."

Frank made a sound somewhere between a grunt and an amused chuckle. "Are you sleeping with her?"

"Hell, no! Otherwise I don't think I'd be here right now!" Dante slid his hand back into his pants and, seeing that the explanation wasn't enough for Frank, added: "I'm a comforting snuggle for her, nothing more." He leaned against the wall again and closed his eyes, his dick still demanding attention.

"Does it bother you?", Frank wanted to know quietly.

"Maybe a little," Dante admitted, opening his eyes again. "You always want what you can't have, don't you?"

Frank swayed his head thoughtfully.

"You're jealous. Of my thoughts.", Dante then stated and Frank shrugged.

"Maybe a little." he admitted and smiled wryly, then moved closer and dropped the towel. The sight reminded Dante of something else.

"She gave me condoms to teach you how to use them."

"What did you tell her about me?", Frank wanted to know in confusion, reaching for Dante's wrist so that he stopped stroking himself.

"Only that you're asking questions. I won't tell her about us, don't worry. But I won't lie to her either, if she should ask the right questions."

After a moment's hesitation, Frank nodded. "Turn around."

A questioning glance later, Dante turned toward the wall and braced himself against it as Frank pulled down his pants and underwear, snuggled up to his butt, and reached for his dick. Pleasurably, Dante groaned. "Tom knows you're asking questions, too. He's afraid you're crushing on him." he muttered and Frank gave a short humorless laugh, his grip tightening.

"Tom's an arrogant prick, and I haven't just known that since he hurt you. He lets Pa fuck him and thinks-" Frank didn't finish the sentence, but it didn't really bother Dante. Frank's hands were more interesting, one of which had by now found a way under Dante's shirt and was now playing with his nipple. "What do you think of this?" Frank whispered in Dante's ear as his rapidly hardening dick forced its way between Dante's butt cheeks. "You and me, like this?"

Better than being on all fours, Dante thought idly, his hips bucking. "Hmm..." he made, half approvingly half thoughtfully. Frank was jerking him hard and fast and that was all he wanted for the moment. Accordingly, he whimpered when Frank suddenly stopped. "Don't! Don't stop! Please..." With agonizing slowness, the movement continued; he groaned.

Frank kissed and nibbled his shoulder, his neck, then murmured: "Kiss me."

It wasn't so easy to twist far enough for that in Frank's vice-like grip, but then Dante surprised himself with the greed with which his lips sought Frank's. "Frank..." he whispered, trying to remember who was here with him despite the images of Mistress Alice in lacy lingerie in his mind.

Frank's response was a purr that seemed to touch something deep inside Dante, and then he came so hard that he slumped in Frank's arms. "Will you come back later and we'll negotiate a rematch?"

"Yeah..." Dante gasped, struggling to control himself, "yeah... anything you want..."

Frank chuckled. "I doubt that..."

Dante blinked, only now realizing what he had just said, and blushed. In return, he regained his balance and pleasant calm filled his mind; his arousal trickled down the wall. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Frank kissed him on the tip of his nose and he felt a little bad. And he was sorry he'd made Frank unnecessarily jealous.

"You know... I significantly prefer your real hands to imaginary boobs." He brushed his fingertips over Frank's cheek, which had reddened slightly at the words, and then kissed him tenderly.

The kiss deepened, grew long and longer, and just as Dante felt something stirring inside him again, Frank pushed him away, breathing heavily. "Now I definitely can't sit still at dinner."

Damn, dinner! However, instead of letting his fright at the wasted time show, Dante reached down, brushed his fingers over Frank's shaft, and whispered: "Oops."

~

If a second round was to follow the delicious dinner, Dante would later fall asleep a perfectly happy man. The thought brought a small smile to his lips, prompting questioning looks from both TJ and Henry.

"You went to town," Frank then said abruptly. "Did you buy anything nice?" While on one hand Dante admired Frank for how well he could put emotions- in that case, childlike curiosity- into his voice, on the other he cringed because of it.

"Oh well... some this and some that," Mistress Alice replied. "A little knickknack, a little underwear..."

"Underwear?" echoed Frank. "How boring."

"Eventually," Miss Britney began disdainfully, "even you will realize that underwear can be quite interesting."

Maisie and Jessy giggled, Mistress Alice sighed in annoyance.

"I ran into Matthew and had a little chat with him-"

"I bet he didn't think your new underwear was boring," Miss Sarah remarked, amused.

"Why?" Frank asked doubtfully, and Blaise said gently:

"There is nothing wrong if you don't understand."

"The way you all look, I don't want to understand at all." A chair scraped across the floor.

"Frank, sit down!" Miss Carolyn said harshly, "Dinner isn't over yet."

"You're mean, you're making fun of me!"

Everything in Dante cringed at Frank's tone.

"Shall we go into town soon and buy some pretty underwear for you?" Mistress Alice asked gently, but audibly tense nonetheless.

"No." From the sounds of it, he stomped off, but Dante was smart enough not to turn around after him.

"Frank! Sit back down!" Miss Carolyn nagged after him.

"Let him, dear..." Blaise said with a sigh.

As if the household had conspired against Frank, Dante was assigned all sorts of chores, so that he could not slip into Frank's room until quite late. He was sitting on the bed, a book in his hand, which he quickly put aside at the sight of Dante.

"Come here..."

With a smile, Dante took two steps closer and then stopped before provocatively slowly undressing.

Frank growled, sliding off the bed and ripping off his own clothes more than taking them off. "Come here..."

This time Dante complied, stopping so close to him that they were touching. "Ready for the rematch?"

"Are you?" Frank asked back, amused- and then they fell onto the bed together. One pushed, the other pulled, and Dante fleetingly wondered where all that sexual energy and confidence had suddenly come from, but all that hot bare skin on his, Frank's hands and lips quickly and efficiently ensured there were soon no thoughts in his mind at all.

At least until Dante found himself on his back, pressed down by Frank's entire body and their interlocked hands somewhere above his head. "I can't return the favor like that..." he muttered, a little choked up because he couldn't take a deep enough breath.

"Alice did donate condoms...", Frank muttered back, directly into Dante's ear. Involuntarily, Dante tensed and Frank sighed, almost a little disappointed- he covered it up well, though. "How about we look for a nice position first? Kind of like a dry run?"

"Dry run?"

"Well, not exactly dry. You know what I mean." He slid off Dante and they looked at each other, there was something reassuring about the seriousness in Frank's face. "I want to make love to you, Dante," he said softly, his fingertips brushing over Dante's mouth, "and I don't want to hurt you. I want you to relax, and I want you to like it. But I'm more than just two fingers."

"I know. That's what worries me.", Dante murmured back, kissing the tips of his fingers, which elicited a smile from Frank. Really, Frank worrying like that touched him.

Frank turned away and picked up the lube, spreading a blob on his fingers and smiling at Dante. "Ready?"

No, Dante thought, but nodded and lowered himself back onto his back before adjusting and spreading his legs- did he have any other choice? He still wasn't sure about that, but already seeing that hint of disappointment on Frank's face had kind of hurt. He enjoyed exchanging intimacies with Frank, it wasn't like that, and the following kiss was incredible, really, and distracted him amazingly well from the intrusion of the first finger.

"Please tell me if I'm hurting you," Frank whispered between small tender kisses.
"Yes... I mean, no. I... gnh... oh..." Dante gasped. Something was different. It hurt, it pressed and stretched and strained, but different from the last time. Probably it was the different position.

The finger slid back and forth, back and forth...

"May I?" Frank murmured, his eyes shining expectantly.

"Lots... lots and lots of lub-oooh!"

Frank thankfully hadn't put the bottle away, and a moment later a second finger sought its way into Dante's depths.

"I don't quite see how this is payback," Dante then said after the renewed pain had subsided.

"It gets me a little closer to where I want to go," Frank explained, and straightforwardly continued to fuck Dante with his fingers. "Besides, I like it. And I can control my fingers better than my dick." As if to prove it, he curled his fingers and Dante gasped as they hit that particular spot in the forward motion.

Pos... pros... it was beyond him. It probably didn't matter either, as warm waves spread through his body, making his scalp and toes tingle. It was as if something was vibrating deep inside him. He groaned.

"You like that?"

"Yeah..." The warm wave washed away the pain.

"Really?" Frank hit that spot again, stifling Dante's reply to an inarticulate sound. His hand groped for his dick, but Frank grumbled disapprovingly, so he searched for Frank's instead. As if in answer, a third finger joined the party, and again pain flared inside him, so unexpectedly fierce that he whimpered in pain. "I'm more than two fingers.", Frank whispered apologetically, his fingers holding still for a moment.

"I know." gasped Dante. "I know. But it hurts..."

They lay motionless for a while, then Frank began to kiss him gently. Dante's erection had fully deflated and Frank seemed to want to make up for it, so intensely did he kiss his mouth, neck, chest and nipples, so hard did he try to stimulate him from the inside. The pain didn't go away, but changed, and soon Dante was on fire. He tried again to reach for his dick, but Frank again pressed his hands into the pillows above his head.

"Don't..." he growled, kissing him hard.

Dante moaned and squirmed. "Not fair..." he muttered.

"Why? This is my payback."

"Frank... please..."

"Come with my fingers or don't come at all."

"Argh, no..." And yet his hips moved in rhythm to Frank's thrusts, longing for every tender touch of the secret spot inside him. He let the fingers fuck him without any will, wouldn't have even protested if it had been a dick, was sweaty and trembling.

"Dante...," Frank's voice purred against his ear and he turned his head, searching for Frank's mouth. "Give me everything..."

He groaned. For what seemed like an eternity, it felt like orgasm would come over him with the next heartbeat, but when it actually came, it was like it was unexpected.

Casually, struggling for breath, he registered Frank pushing his legs to the side. His whole body pulsed and quivered, his muscles contracting around nothing- the emptiness he felt there was relieving and disappointing at the same time.

Frank smiled down at him, and a confused moment later Dante realized that Frank was taking pleasure from his clenched thighs.

He watched the twitch in his face, the lustful grimaces and the play of the muscles of his chest and stomach.

They snuggled together, sweaty, cum-stained, and exhausted.

"Did you like it?", Frank shyly wanted to know.

"It hurt, but yeah, kind of..." Dante nodded and Frank began to smile. "It's amazing: you make me feel so small and... and... helpless? No, that's the wrong word... I don't know. It's weird. Good weird," Dante muttered, not looking at Frank. Outside of this room he felt tall and strong and confident, and in here... it all shrunk down.

"You're certainly not small and helpless, Dante," Frank returned, gently lifting his face by his chin. "I guess that's what intimacy does to people. After all... after all, you are giving youself over to your own feelings and to another person."

"Very philosophical..." It was meant to sound teasing, but actually Dante was more impressed. And at the look on Frank's face, under the tender kiss, he was very glad he hadn't given himself rashly to Tom.

"I like being with you," Frank whispered, holding him close. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you take me as I am."

To that, Dante really couldn't think of anything better to do than bury his fingers in his curls and kiss him.

~

The last day of Hella came and surprised Dante by the fact that the family- including the house slaves- in the afternoon gathered in the living room. A fire crackled in the small fireplace, spreading a cozy warmth that brought a certain sleepiness, candles bathed the room in a suitably warm light.

They nibbled spicy pastries and drank sweet apple tea from tiny cups while Miss Carolyn read from the sacred scriptures in a reverent voice.

Sitting next to Dante on one of the many cushions, Henry looked as if he expected to be accused at any moment, so at one point Dante grabbed the boy's hand.

After Miss Carolyn finished, Blaise said a prayer clearly addressed to Anthony, and then Dante was surprised again when Daniel stood up and returned with a guitar, which Miss Sarah accepted. All together, family and slaves, they sang an old lament- Dante was so stunned by this that it was not until the second verse that he found the words in his memory. Maybe he should stop wondering about the traditions here, he mused, as Henry leaned against him and began to weep silently. Miss Sarah began another song and this time it was Mistress Alice alone who raised her voice. Shaky at first, then firmer, she sang a dirge Dante had never heard before.

"... but as long as your blood flows through my veins, you are close here with me. And as long as the stars are in their courses, you are close here with me. And when my embers of life are gone, I look back without fear, for you were with me at every moment..."

Now Henry was not the only one crying. Not even Miss Britney tried to hide her tears, and although Dante had never known Anthony, tears rolled down his cheeks too.

It was the feeling of togetherness and family, including him at this moment that touched him deeply.

In that moment, he felt at home.

~

As if the weather knew exactly that Diana, the last month of the year, had begun, it started snowing in thick flakes. For three days it snowed almost continuously and after the snow was almost knee high; Dante had never seen so much snow outside the TV and quickly realized that he didn't like it. Beautiful, yes, but cold and wet. He could do without it.

Tom and Frank made fun of him a little and, incidentally, that was about the only thing they agreed on these days. Frank had started flirting with Tom in a shy and awkward way- Tom's discomfort about it was palpable. Dante didn't ask about Frank's motives, his conspiratorial wink was answer enough in a way. Or probably it should have been enough, but Dante had a dull feeling that this was about something else he had no inkling of.

When that afternoon Frank asked, conspicuously casually, if Tom had a moment, Dante pricked up his ears. He wasn't so curious that he would have sneaked after them, and the sort-of meaningless chit-chat was loud enough to hear.

"Don't!" Tom suddenly said fiercely, almost shrilly.

"I thought you like me..." Frank said disappointed.

"I like you, Frank, very much, but like a little brother, you know?"

"I know you're having sex with Pa. Don't I look enough like him?" Frank asked back with some defiance, and Tom made a pitiful sound.

"Don't even start with that! Please, Frank, you don't know what you're saying, what you're asking of me!"

The rest of the conversation was non-verbal and Dante raised his eyebrows questioningly when Frank appeared.

"Talk to him.", Frank whispered to him and walked outside, winking at Dante and then demonstratively slamming the door.

In the background, Tom heaved a sigh.

Dante was confused. Still, he went to the back to Tom, who ran both hands over his slowly growing-back hair and then tugged at his collar.

"Talk him out of it," Tom said flatly. When he raised his eyes, there was a horror in them Dante couldn't follow. "Get in bed with him if he really needs it, but talk him out of me."

"What's wrong with you?", Dante wanted to know quietly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Frank tried to kiss me. I can't do that."

"As a slave, you don't have the right to say no," Dante said matter-of-factly. Maybe that approach wasn't entirely fair, but for compassion, Tom lacked sympathy points and Dante lacked background knowledge.

"You think I wouldn't know that?" Tom hissed, tugging at his collar once more. "My ma had to sell my little brother and me. I was free, Dante, free! As damn free as Matthew! We were friends, our fathers were friends, and now he can't even look at me!"

Dante struggled to show his surprise in nothing more than a fierce blink, while Tom was on the verge of losing his cool completely.

"Frank reminded me of my little brother, and I replaced one with the other in my heart to keep from going crazy. I don't even know if my brother is still alive, he was seriously ill."

"I understand that's why you refuse," Dante said softly, it seemed to calm Tom a little. "But Blaise says he loves you like a son and fucks you anyway."

At the words, Tom slumped a little more. "Frank doesn't realize what he's asking..." he muttered. "Talk him out of it, Dante, please..." He turned away to pointlessly busy himself with erratic fingers.

Dante eyed him for a moment before stepping outside to join Frank. Something about this didn't sit well with him, and Frank's subtle smile did nothing to lessen his discomfort.

"So?"

"Do you know what you're asking from him? Well, in theory, I mean, I doubt you have any real intentions." He couldn't imagine Frank was genuinely interested, the whole act seemed too contrived in his eyes, but it wouldn't really have bothered him if it turned out that way.

"Yes, I do know." Frank turned his face to the weak sun and Dante shuddered- and not just because he hadn't put on his jacket. This was about old wounds from the past, wasn't it? He had nothing to do with that- it reinforced his resolution to just keep his mouth shut a little more often.
Again a smile, albeit a bitter one, flickered across Frank's face. "And that's exactly why I would have resented Tom quite a bit if he had accepted my offer."