The Secret Life Of Billy Chase 8 - 7. Chapter 7

Thursday

-Why, oh why, does God take sooooo much pleasure in totally LAUGHING at me whenever he gets the chance??? I think he actually enjoys it. In fact, I'm pretty sure of it.

Okay...so...I go into work today. It's my very FIRST day, mind you! And I have to say...I was already really nervous and 'trembly' at the thought of being there with a bunch of strangers, not knowing what the heck to really do in that place or anything...but it wasn't really all that bad. I mean, if I had to be honest about the whole experience...I don't know why my mom and dad complain so much about working all the time! I mean, it's not ALL fun and games, sure...but at least I'm getting PAID to be there! That's much better than working my ass off in SCHOOL five days a week and not getting anything more than a useless little red letter grade written on a piece of paper to let me know if they hated it or not. At least here, it's like..."Hey! Thanks for toiling away for us all day! Here's enough money to buy yourself a video game to relax with at home between shifts!" You KNOW??? It was only my first day...but I think I could easily do this forever if I had to! Seriously!

I even look forward to it! Do you have any idea how much MONEY I made today? Just standing around and helping people find music that they already like and were looking for without me even having to suggest anything? That's friggin' AWESOME!

Anyway, all 'good' things aside...here's what really fucking threw me for a loop today! Nearly shocked me into a fit a damn convulsions!

I actually got to the mall at about 1:30 today. I know the boss said 2PM, but I still kinda wanted to make a good impression, you know? So I showed up crazy early today, hoping to get some extra employee points before being shown around the store and all, and just...I dunno...just dive into this whole job thing, head first.

BUT....

When I get there, one of the other new employees that they just hired for the Summer had been working the morning shift before me, and hadn't left for the day yet, I guess. He was getting ready to punch out for the day when I came in to start my schedule and stuff. Normally, I wouldn't even see a need to write about this...but...well, this is KIND of important....

You see...I get to work...and WHO do I fucking see standing in the back office, trying to finish pricing and processing new product to put out on the shelves before going home??? It was...it was...UGH!!! FUCK!!!

I saw him, and I lowered my eyes to the floor immediately. Right after fighting the urge to gasp out loud, that is.

Standing right there, right before my very eyes, price gun in hand....was ROBIN!!! Yes! Fucking Robin!!! The SAME Robin that I had been screwing with a 'prison rape' mentality for the last few weeks before finally bringing an end to it all and walking out on him and AJ for the last time! (If I can really take 'credit' for doing that)

I honestly couldn't believe my goddamn eyes! What the hell was AJ's new slut boy doing working at a music store in the local mall like...like...normal people??? I was all hyped about starting a new episode in my life with my first job ever...and now I was left feeling totally exposed and nervous to the point of wanting to throw up.

Why is he even here??? I mean...did he sign up? Fill out an application? Did they call him back too? Is he going to tell anybody here at the store? Is he going to go back and tell AJ? Is this going to be something that I'm going to have to fret over for the whole damn SUMMER??? Ugh!

He was right there! I was staring right at his pretty pseudo-emo FACE...and I couldn't turn away!!!

The funny thing is...I think he experienced the same level of shock when it came to seeing me too. It had been a while since we had seen each other. Not a LONG while...but a while. And I wasn't even sure if he had ever been given an excuse as to why I never called anymore, or why I just stopped...um...coming over for threesome sex on the weekends. GEEZ! It was all SO awkward! Once our eyes connected, we both had a bit of a confusing moment, but we didn't really say anything to let on that we were already...er...'well acquainted'. The manager, Scott, introduced us and we both pretended not to know one another...offering a weak handshake in front of him and exchanging a soft spoken 'hi' before letting go. Maybe Scott just thought it was first day jitters or something. But...yeah...

Um...well..yeah...

That was extremely weird. It makes me squirm just writing about it in here. :: Shivers ::

All I could think about when we were face to face again was that random phone conversation that I had with Robin last month at his house. The one where he was talking to his MOM in the background...being all sweet and innocent and not letting on that we had already been more than EXTREMELY intimate with one another at that point...and were looking forward to doing it again as soon as possible. I wonder if he put on the same act for the manager of this store when he came in for his interview. Then again, could I really say that I was all that different? I mean, I was the one banging Robin twice a week and letting him ride my hard dick until we were both breathless and sweaty from the connection. I'm just as guilty as he is, right? And I came in for my interview being just as sweet and innocent as he did with his mom in the room. So who am I to point the finger and call names? How separate am I, really, from AJ in my active role in that situation? Lack of condoms and all.

Ugh...sobering moments SUCK sometimes! You know?

It seems like the older I get, even just a few weeks at a time...the more I realize what a separation there is from the world of sex and...well, everything else in life. It's like...regular life and sex can't find a way to co-exist in a way that anyone would consider even remotely sane anymore. I wonder why that is. You would think something so intimate would be more closely integrated into your everyday life. And it just isn't. Maybe it shouldn't be. Then again...maybe it should. Who's to say?

Anyway, we didn't really speak to each other much as Robin was wrapping up and leaving for the day so shortly after I came in. But I found myself not really being able to look him in the eye as he did so. I don't know where this weird sense of 'scandal' came from, but it was there. And it was HEAVY on both of our shoulders as we tried to ignore the proverbial elephant in the room. It just felt like everyone in the whole store, employees AND customers, could see it somehow! Like...just one look, and they could easily envision Robin and I kissing and grinding and ejaculating and fingering and moaning out loud in the hot, *HOT*, moments of fucking passion without knowing much more about one another than what first name to cry out when cumming hard into each other's mouths, or...asses...or...whatever. UGH! This is so WEIRD!!!

Robin was nice enough to say goodbye after he punched out for the day, but I only mumbled a shy response in return. I couldn't tell if what he gave me before leaving was a shy smile, or a smirk to warn me of things to come. Either way, something tells me that this is going to be quite an adjustment for the both of us if we're going to be working together in the same store. Is this going to be our little secret? Or...is he...I mean...I don't even know if Robin is out of the closet yet or not. I mean...what if he tells somebody? What if he tells EVERYBODY? Like...like it's no big deal? Does he know that I'm...you know...not 'living out loud', or whatever? Should I tell him NOT to tell? Or would that be insulting? Maybe I should just assume that he won't tell. I mean...his own mom doesn't know, right? (Or...so I'm assuming) That's the impression I got, anyway. So...maybe...maybe he's just as low key and discrete as I am. I just...I don't want him telling everybody at my first job ever! It's MY secret! God...I think I had better find a chance to talk to him. Like...like SOON, you know? Before he let's something slip. I wouldn't want that.

I think...I think he'd be cool about the whole thing. Yeah. He'd be cool...

As for the awkwardness of us being here in the same store all Summer long...who knows? Maybe we'll just work on different days. Or at least on different shifts. Like today. That would be a bit more 'comfortable' for the both of us. Don't ya think?

ANYWAY...all weirdness aside...

Scott took me in the back of the store and had me sit down and fill out the rest of my paperwork. I thought that I was done with all of that, but apparently, I had that wrong. Is it just me, or is signing my name to government stuff really REALLY scary sometimes? I mean, I'm sure that most people don't really read those things every time they fill out papers for a new job, but every third line is telling me how I can be fined or put in jail for lying about my personal information. I had to fill out a small W-2 form for my taxes (I can never remember which bubble to fill in. I can get more money every week, with less taxes taken out. Or I can get more taken out, and then get a big check every Spring where they give it back to me...because I'm still technically 'poor'), and there's still a billion ways on that one sheet of paper telling me how they're gonna totally fuck me and throw me in jail if my records aren't immaculate and 100% true to the LETTER! They can dump oil in the oceans, pollute the air, shoot protesters on sight, and support terrorist acts of genocide world wide...but if I don't give them 40 bucks out of my next paycheck...they throw ME in *PRISON*??? What is THAT about?

Anyway, I was lucky that Scott was patient enough to explain everything to me and show me how to fill everything out. I don't ever want to sign my name on anything ever again. I felt like Justin Bieber signing autographs at the mall for crying out loud. How many signatures does ONE place need, anyway?

That's when Scott turned me over to this guy named Terell. Terell was like 17 or 18, I think. Really slim, but taller than me, with a low haircut and light brown eyes. He was really friendly to me, right off the bat, and that helped to put my nerves at ease. I don't know what it is...but there's something about working there in the mall that embarrassed me. I can't explain why. Even though it's totally AWESOME to have a job and stuff, I just felt kinda weird about the fact that any one of my friends from school could just randomly show up at any time and see me working there. Nametag and all? Is that strange? I think that's strange.

Anyway, he was showing me around the store, and something about his smile always made me smile too. He was kinda funny. I liked that. He showed me the pop/rock section and how it was set up. Then he showed me the R&B section, the hip hop section, the Christian/Gospel section, the international stuff, the jazz, the reggae...everything. The store wasn't really all THAT big, but I never knew that there were so many different kinds of music before. Well...different 'categories' of music, anyway. Terell was like, "Make sure that when we get free stuff or samplers to play in the store, that you listen to everything. It'll help you to kind of distinguish one type of music from another. So when people ask you for something, you know what section to check for it." Terell had a habit of putting an arm over my shoulder every now and then, and it just felt really cool. Hehehe, plus I liked the smell of his aftershave. At least, I think that's what it was. He also showed me the electronic section and taught me what BPS (beats per second) was. He said I'd have to try to learn the difference between techno, dubstep, jungle, industrial, trip hop, and a few other things were. He even offered to burn me a CD to take home some day this week so I could learn for a few artists that I could look for on compilations and find similar music to recommend if anyone came looking for them. It was a lot to absorb at once, but I found it really intriguing.

I always thought that music was something that you just heard on the radio or at a house party somewhere, and then bought them in the store after they won a Grammy for it or whatever. Evidently, that makes up for less than ONE percent of all the music that a lot of their customers look for in this place. He even showed me a section with all vinyl. I didn't think people bought records anymore, but according to Terell and some of my other new co-workers...they sound better. And they're still DJ favorites. So...I guess I'll have to get acquainted with those too.

I remember Terell telling me, "Dude, relax! Hehehe, you look all tense and shit. There's nothing to this job. Seriously. I mean, you like music, right?"

I'm like, "Yeah. I love music."

He's like, "Sweet! So just get in tune with what you like, be open to learn more, and everything will be all aces around here. Ok? It's really easy. I promise. Ok?"

After that, he taught me how to maintain my own section of the store, keep it clean, what order the CDs were in...alphabetical, of course. But by band name, then the last name of an artist that used their real name, then compilations and box sets and stuff. It was more than I thought I'd have to remember, but terell, like everybody else, was really patient with me. And he showed me behind the counter and stuff, and where the paper towels and spray was to clean stuff was, and he gave me a brief warning on how to look out for shoplifters too. I hadn't really considered that before. Shoplifters. I mean...was I supposed to tackle people at the door, or what?

Needless to say, Terell didn't explain that to me just yet. He just grinned at me in an evil way. Which...I mean...I guess I'll learn about stuff like that the hard way.

either way, they just put me on 'bags' today. Which means that all I do is stand at the front door and check in bags for anybody coming in with a backpack or a shopping bag or anything that they could steal with. You would think that this would be a really easy job, but you'd be surprised how many people taking some kind of weird offense to the POLITE request to check their bag in while they shop. I mean, it's not like they came in with a million dollar briefcase handcuffed to their wrist! Am I accusing you of being a thief? NO! Just check in your fucking bag and shut up! It's my JOB! Jesus! It's not like I'm rofiling terrorists at the airport for shoe bombs! I'm gonna ask the person behind you for the same thing! People can be difficult. But...it's just my first day. So...maybe it gets better.

Until it does, though....note to self...

Customers are ASSHOLES to people who work retail! Jesus! Fuck you TOO, bitch! Am I wrong?

Anyway, I was pretty much by myself all day today. A part of me was relieved because I didn't have to force myself to bravely indulge anyone else in any conversation today. But another part of me was a bit disappointed, because Terell was so cool, I kinda wanted to meet more of the people that I would be working with. I spoke to them briefly, but it wasn't much more than a hello. I was too bashful for much else. Ollie was there again, working the register. He gave me a smile when he started his shift, but didn't say anything else to me for the rest of the day. It's not that he was being mean or anything, I just don't think I showed up on his personal 'radar' of people that he needed to talk to just yet. Besides, except for Robin, everybody else already knew each other already. I don't think I ever felt so uncomfortable in my own skin before. Not that I can remember. But the few new faces that I met embraced me just the same.

I guess it'll take me more than a single afternoon to get in touch with everything around here. But I'll get used to it. I'm sure of it.

Anyway, I only worked for like four hours today. I guess it was a trial shift or something. And I didn't burn the place down to the ground. So that's a good thing, right? Nothing to worry about. All I had to do was check in bags, and give them back when the customers were finished shopping. I'm sure that I'd get more challenging duties later on, but despite it being a bit boring at first, I'd say that I had a good time today.

Everybody there seems to get along so well. They're like a family, you know? I thought that was so cool. Even when they poked fun at one another, or seemed to be fighting and arguing with one another. I really hope that I can be a part of their family too some time soon.

Anyway, that was my day today. My mom gave me the 3rd degree about it when I came home. My dad did the same about a half hour later over the phone. Hehehe, I guess this day was just as exciting for them as it was for me! Even if they weren't there for it! :P

It's probably the first time they've been agreeable and happy about the same issue in God knows HOW long! I took an ego moment in thwat. Just a tiny one. Hehehe!

Anyway, I've got to work tomorrow and Sunday. And on Sunday, Scott said that he's gonna give me a full schedule for next week. Well...not 'full', but enough to consider me an employee, I guess. I must have done well today. So that's cool. I think I'm gonna like it there. Robin and all.

Sighhh....Robin....

WHY, God? WHY?

I've gotta run! I'm going in the same time tomorrow. So I want to get my rest.

I didn't write back to Lee tonight. I probably should have, but I just didn't. It wasn't a punishment kind of thing. It wasn't a fear thing either. I just...wasn't sure what I should say to him. I had no clue. And besides, Jimmy LaPlane sent me an email to tell me that he was thinking about me. That gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. I think I felt bad about being so mad at him the other day for not coming over. I knew that I was being selfish, but...Jimmy really can be a sweetheart when he wants to be. I should have been more understanding, I suppose. I haven't answered that one yet either, but I will before I go to bed. I miss Jimmy. Seriously. I'm almost sorry that I have to work tomorrow. Otherwise I'd invite him over for some more...hehehe...'attention'.

Wow...Jimmy LaPlane. I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back to my very first journal and tell my 14 year old self that Jimmy and I would be an item by now. Hahaha, I'm sure I would laugh in my own face. But, screw it. I like this arrangement. It's been nothing but fun so far.

Alright, I'm gonna go! I've got Saturday night off. I should find something cool to do. I wish I had my first paycheck already. It would be MUCH more awesome if I had some funds to work with. Ah well...soon, Billy. Soon.

Seeya laters!

-Billy