All We Have Now - 5. Part 5

Suddenly I saw something in the distance that looked like a gate. As we got closer I realized that it stretched across the whole path and seemed to be the entrance to an estate. We drove up to it and Troy went outside to open it. I folded my hands and prayed silently. We passed through and he closed it again behind us.

After five minutes or so we came to a small hill. The truck stuttered a little on the way up and I tightened my grip till my knuckles turned white. When we reached the top a big farmhouse came into view. My eyes widened.

"Thank God," I gasped.

The estate was vast and surrounded by forest, but there was not much on it. There was maybe an acre of open field and a few single trees spread across it randomly. Everything was covered with a thin layer of snow, which made it look really peaceful.

We parked in front of the house and got out. When we opened the screeching door we were hit by a wave of a stench so foul we had to pull up our shirts to cover our mouths and noses. We started checking all the rooms and right before we went into the one next to the stairs a monster came out and jumped Troy. He fell down on his back and the monster landed on top of him. He needed both arms to fend it off, so he couldn't stab it. I kicked it in the stomach, but that had no effect, so I took a hold of it around its waist and pulled it off of Troy. The monster didn't like that. It turned around and grabbed my leg with its bony hands. I screamed and it tried to bite me. Right before it could sink its rotten, black teeth into me Troy stabbed it in the head and it stopped moving. I freed myself from its grip and backed away. Troy got up and looked at me with concern.

"Did it get you?" he asked.

"No. You?"

"No."

He walked over and hugged me.

"You're shaking," he said.

"Yeah, well, they're still monsters to me and getting attacked by one is really terrifying."

"You just saved my life, do you realize that?"

"So what? You saved mine right after and a couple of times before that."

"It doesn't make it any less of a big deal, especially since you're so scared of them. So thank you."

"My pleasure."

"We should look through the rest of the house."

We parted and went into the room the monster came out of. It was the living room and there was a partially eaten and heavily decomposed body lying on the floor. We quickly covered our faces again, but I started to gag anyway and ran outside. Troy joined me a few seconds later.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just need a minute."

"Let's see what we find out here."

We walked around the house. There was a gas tank in the back, a well nearby and a shed right next to it with a generator and cubical tank in it.

"Do you think that's gasoline?" I asked.

Troy opened the valve of the tank, held his finger under it and then smelled it.

"Yes it is."

"That's so great! This will get us to California three times over. We really lucked out. I bet we'll find food in there too," I said cheerfully.

"I'm not so sure it was luck."

"If I were an angel, don't you think God would've brought me up to heaven instead of letting me live in this nightmare for almost a year now?"

"Maybe this is how you earn your wings, like a rite of passage, you know?"

"Wouldn't I know that I'm an angel?"

"Apparently not."

I rolled my eyes and shook my head a little.

"I'm not an angel, that's ridiculous Troy."

"No, it makes perfect sense, kind of. First you survived for so long on your own, which is a small miracle and then you met me. And I was a horrible person, but you've changed me. I'm a new man now. That's like divine intervention or something. And I have feelings for you, even though I'm straight, that's another miracle right there. Now this. How much more proof do you need?"

"There's a logical explanation for all of that. Calling me an angel is just crazy, can't you see that?"

"Not more crazy than believing in God or Jesus. And I don't see how that's a bad thing. Everyone has to believe in something. And this doesn't affect you negatively in any way, on the contrary, so why would you try to convince me that I'm wrong?"

"Because you are."

"Can you prove that? Or is it just something you believe very strongly?"

"No... Troy!"

"There you go," he said, grinning, and kissed me on the nose, which made me giggle.

There was also a barn about two hundred yards away, but it was locked. We got two shirts out of the truck that we used to breath through and went back into the house. We found a pantry under the stairs. It was filled with food, some of it rotten, but still enough to last us a very long time.

"Look, there's jam... and honey," I said excitedly.

"And peanut butter."

"Where?"

"There."

He pointed at a jar. I quickly grabbed it and stuffed it in my jacket pocket.

"That's mine."

"You can keep it in there, it's not like I'll eat it now that I know you want it so badly," he said, grinning.

"No, I'll carry it around, so I can smell it whenever I want."

"Will you let me smell it too?"

"Maybe."

He laughed and shook his head.

We checked all the rooms upstairs, but there were no more monsters.

"First things first, we have to seal the door to the living room and then air this place out for a couple of hours. We should also throw out all the curtains, rugs and anything else that soaks up odors."

"Ok, you do the door and the windows, I'll do the rest."

"Alright."

We went to work and maybe thirty minutes later we were done. We decided to have lunch, so we got in the truck with the camping stove and heated up two cans of soup.

"We could stay here, you know?" I said. "It's isolated and fenced, so we'd be safe from monsters and there's enough space and water to grow anything we want. It's unlikely we'll find a better place in California. What do you think?"

"The freaks might already be dead in California, so we could be a lot safer there, cause the fence probably couldn't keep a whole horde of freaks out. Besides, the house reeks of death and I'm not sure we'll ever get rid of that smell completely. That's something to consider too."

"That's true, but I hate this truck and being on the road was horrible."

"Let's just wait and see how the house airs out first, alright?"

"Ok."

When we were both finished with lunch I pulled out the peanut butter, opened the jar and smelled it.

"Oh my god, this is amazing," I said and held it to Troy's nose.

"Yeah, nice."

I took some on my spoon, put it in my mouth, closed my eyes and moaned softy. I let it melt on my tongue and savored the taste for a couple of minutes. When I finally swallowed I scooped up some more and offered it to Troy.

"No thanks, enjoy," he said and I frowned.

"But you have to try it."

"No, it's all yours."

"If you believe I'm a 'divine being', shouldn't you do whatever I tell you?"

He laughed.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? And no, you're too kind for your own good, so I have to protect you from yourself."

"But it would make me happy if you'd have some too."

"It'll make you even happier when you'll eat it yourself."

"If you try it I'll give you a kiss."

"Why the hell is this so important to you?"

"Because everything is better when you can share it with someone and this is one of few pleasurable things left in this world, so it would be a waste not to share it." He frowned, reluctantly took the spoon and licked off the peanut butter. "Amazing, isn't it?" I asked, smiling.

"Yeah, I guess," he answered and grinned. I leaned forward to kiss him, but he stopped me. "You don't have to do that," he said.

"Maybe I want to."

He let go of me and I leaned in. We kissed for a couple of seconds and then I backed away. We looked at each other and smiled.

"We should find the keys for the barn. I want to know what's in there," I said.

"It's probably just a tractor or a bunch of dead animals."

"Or maybe lots of hay. We could build a big pile and then jump on it from up high."

"And why would we do that?" he asked, grinning.

"Cause it's fun?"

"If you'd break your other leg, we'd be totally fucked. I couldn't even carry you around and we don't have a wheelchair or even crutches."

"That's true. So no hay jumping," I said disappointedly.

"We should hope for seeds and tools we can till a field with."

"I guess. Come on, let's find the keys."

"Alright."

We got out of the truck and entered the house. The stench was still intense and nauseating. We found a bunch of keys hanging in the kitchen, so we took all of them and went to the barn. After figuring out which one fit in the lock, we finally opened the doors. My eyes widened when I saw what was inside.

"Holy shit!" Troy said, dumbstruck.

"Yeah, exactly."

"Do you still think you're not an angel?"

"I really don't know anymore... It looks brand new."

"It probably is."

We walked to the only door on the side of the RV. It was open, so we went in. It was pretty spacious, there was a kitchen with a wood burner and a closet on the left, leading to a bedroom in the back and on the right, across from the kitchen, there was a table and then the bathroom. There was also another bed above the driver's cabin.

"This is fucking awesome. We could use the bedroom for storage, the closet for wood and sleep up here," Troy said excitedly.

"Yeah, it's perfect. Try if it'll start."

"It won't."

My heart fell and I frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because the battery is long dead."

"Oh no. Can't we recharge it somehow, with the generator maybe?"

"Probably, but that would make too much noise. We could use the battery from the truck though, if we had the right tools."

"Then let's find some."

We didn't have to look far. There was a little shed adjacent to the barn. It was filled with tools. We took what we needed, removed the battery from the truck and installed it in the RV. We went back inside and Troy put the key in the ignition. I folded my hands and prayed silently. He turned the key and the engine stuttered, but wouldn't start. He tried it a few more times, but it didn't work.

"Please," I whispered and suddenly the RV roared to life. I sighed in relief and we smiled at each other, but then I thought of something and turned serious.

"Does this run on gasoline?" I asked.

"Yeah, what else?"

"Diesel?"

He raised his eyebrows.

"Oh shit. That would be such a pain in the ass to find."

We went outside and looked, but it didn't say 'Diesel' on the lid or the cap.

"Thank God," I said.

"Yeah, thank God."

"We should load everything in here and fill the water and the gas tank, so we'll be ready to go in case monsters or bad guys show up. And we should sleep in here tonight."

"I agree."

We drove up to the house and decided to get the tank from the shed into the RV first, which turned out to be really difficult, because it was extremely heavy. We used a rope, a shovel, a wheelbarrow and a car jack and it involved a lot of leveraging and dragging. Poor Troy had to endure so much pain to help me, but I couldn't have done it on my own. Next we cleaned a rain barrel, put it in our storage room and then gradually filled it with water from the well. After that we searched the house thoroughly and brought anything useful over. I looked through the RV too and found a travel atlas with maps of every state in the glove compartment. Last we refilled the water for the sink and the shower, and the gas tank, and drove back into the barn. We were both sweaty and totally exhausted, but happy with what we had accomplished. There was just enough time left for us to take a bath and then we heated up two cans of meatloaf and ate.

"Do you think there are still chickens somewhere?" I asked.

"No, probably not."

"Or cows? Wouldn't it be great if we could catch one? We could have milk every day and make butter and cheese. Chickens would be great too. I'd love to eat some eggs again."

"They're domestic animals. They don't exist in the wild anymore, so I doubt they could survive on their own, which means no more chicken eggs or cow's milk. But other animals lay eggs. We'll just have to keep an eye out for them. And you can also drink goat's milk, but good luck catching a wild goat."

"That's too bad."

"Yeah."

We finished our meal and then I pulled out my peanut butter again. After I had some I offered half a spoon full to Troy.

"If I refuse, will you kiss me again?" he asked, grinning.

"I might."

"Then no fucking way I'm eating this."

I giggled, got up and sat down beside him. I leaned in and we kissed for a couple of seconds. When we parted Troy looked really happy, he had this glow in his eyes and he was beaming at me. My cheeks felt warm all of a sudden and I smiled back at him sheepishly.

"What if I still don't wanna eat it?" he asked.

"Troy!" I said sharply and glared at him jokingly. He laughed a little, took the spoon and licked it clean.

"Let's go to bed, I'm about to pass out," he said

"Yeah, I'm beat too."

We got ready and went to bed. He insisted on sleeping on the outside, in case of an attack, but I didn't mind. I cuddled myself against him and he laid his arm over me. It was really cosy and comfortable.

"This is nice," I said contentedly.

"Yeah, there just could be a little more room to the ceiling. It'll be hard to fuck you doggy-style in here."

"What? You will never do me doggy style, ever," I said disgustedly.

"Why not?"

"It's degrading."

"How is it degrading?"

"Because I'm not a dog you can just mount."

"So how do you wanna get fucked then?"

"I don't want to get 'f-ed' at all, if anything we'll make love, but I don't think we'll ever do that either."

"Why wouldn't we?"

"Would you let me make love to you first?"

"Fuck no."

"There you go."

"Come on, it would be unnatural, I mean, you're clearly the girl."

I propped myself up on my elbow.

"I'm not 'the girl', you jerk," I said indignantly.

"Of course you are."

"No, I'm a guy."

"I'm not saying you ain't, but when we'll become a couple one of us has to be the girl and it sure as shit can't be me, that would be ridiculous."

"Neither of us has to be 'the girl', so never call me that again, ok?"

"Fine, Jeez, you're so sensitive."

"You're sensitive too when it comes to making love, aren't you?"

"You're not serious about that, are you? You're just trying to test me or something, right?"

"No, I want you to experience it first, so you'll know how careful you'll have to be and how easily it can hurt."

"Don't you trust me?"

"I do, but it's like when you cut my nails. I know you didn't want to hurt me, but you just had never done it before. But when you realized how easily you could cut too deep you started to be very careful."

"I swear I'll be extremely careful when I fu...make love to you, alright?"

"So will I when I do it to you first."

"No fucking way. Jesus."

"Well, then anal sex is off the table."

"Why do you have to make such a fuss about this?"

"Anal sex is a very big deal to me and I'm really scared to do it. It's such an intimate act and it can be terribly painful. And it's not like we can just google how to do it right, so there's a lot that could go wrong, you know? I'm not asking you to try it first to test or to punish you, but because it would help to ease my fears. And if you can't make that sacrifice then it's unfair to ask the same of me."

He hesitated for a second.

"I guess you're right. I'm sorry."

"It's ok."

"So, I'm not saying I'd ever let you do that to me, but just theoretically, how would that work? Would you wanna pound me for hours in every position imaginable till you really get a feel for it or what do you have in mind?"

"No, of course not, I'd do it the same way I'd expect you to do it to me, slow, careful and tender, you know?"

"And it would be only the one time?"

"I don't know, maybe if I'd really enjoy it I'd want to do it again."

"Jesus... I mean... I see. But since you don't even let me slip you my tongue yet I'm guessing that's not something I have to worry about any time soon, right?"

"No, I mean, we're not even together yet. And if we do become a couple it'll still take a long time before we have sex."

"What do you mean by 'if' we become a couple?"

"I'm not convinced yet that it could work out between us. We're very different. So let's just wait and see what happens, ok?"

"I guess."

"I'm not trying to frustrate you, I'm just scared, you know?"

"I know and I'll try my best not to be impatient and to be supportive," he said sincerely.

"Thank you."

I gave him a quick kiss on the mouth and cuddled myself back against him.

"Good night," I said and yawned.

"Night."

It had already gotten dark, so I closed my eyes. After a while I suddenly felt him smell my hair, which made me grin, because I thought it was really sweet. I fell asleep soon after.

When I woke up in the morning, I was lying on my side and Troy was spooning me from behind. I turned around and clung to him.

"Morning," he said.

"Good morning. How long have you been up?"

"A while and guess what, I didn't grind my dick against your ass, not even once. That should score me some points, right?"

I giggled.

"Maybe a few."

"How do I score more?"

"By being sweet mostly and maybe by not cursing so much or at all."

"Alright... Hey, will you have peanut butter for breakfast again? Cause I'll need a lot of freaking convincing to eat some too."

"You could just eat it without coaxing a kiss out of me, you know? That would be an example of being sweet."

"Would that score me enough points for a kiss?"

I giggled again and rolled my eyes jokingly.

"You're really missing the point."

"I'm just kidding, I'll eat whatever the f...rick you want, no kissing expected."

"That's nice of you."

"Does it make you wanna kiss me by any chance?"

"Troy!"

"Hey, it's your fault I'm like this, not mine."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, you're making me crazy. Before you came along I was a normal guy, minding my own business, but now all I'm thinking about all day is what you'll taste like when I finally get to kiss you for real."

"So, our kisses weren't 'real' to you? Maybe we should stop then."

"No," he said, sighing heavily. I leaned forward and kissed him for a couple of seconds.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"No reason."

"That's a good reason," he said and we both smiled. "Let's get up. We have things to do."

"Like what?"

"We have to break some wood, then we could go rabbit hunting and in the afternoon we should fortify the RV, so we won't have to worry about freaks getting in too easily."

"Ok."

We got up, had breakfast and then spent maybe an hour breaking furniture in the house. When we had enough wood we wheeled it to the RV and then went hunting.

It was a beautiful day outside. There was barely any wind, so it wasn't too cold. The sun was shining brightly. A thin, fresh layer of snow on the ground was glistening in the light. It was peacefully quiet. After walking for a while I took Troy's hand in mine. He raised his eyebrows and looked at me in surprise.

"Does that mean we're together now?" he asked.

"No, I just wanted to know how it feels."

"But you want to be with me, right?"

"Maybe, I don't know."

"What's the problem? I mean, what's holding you back?"

"I have to be sure first that I want to be with you for the right reasons and not just because I have no other options. And also, I don't know how much commitment I can expect from you, which worries me. I know we said we'd stay together for the foreseeable future, but what if we do meet other survivors and there are girls among them? Can you guarantee me that you won't leave me for one?"

"I guess I can't. I mean, someone has to repopulate the earth, so I'd have to at least fuck them and then help raise my children. For the greater good, you know?"

"How noble of you," I said sarcastically and then continued, disappointed. "But that's exactly what I'm talking about. I don't want to be just a substitute and to be pushed aside as soon as the real thing comes along. I want a partner, for good, so I have at least one constant in my life."

"Don't you think you're reaching a little too high? In this world you have to be grateful for every little thing that is given to you. And we don't even know if we would work as a couple or how we'll feel about each other ten years from now. And so what if we wouldn't stay together forever? Even if we could make each other happy for only a couple of days or weeks it still would've been worth it, at least in my opinion."

"You're probably right, I just have this romantic idea of sharing my whole life with someone, growing old together, stuff like that, you know? But I guess that's stupid."

"It's not stupid, it's just not realistic."

"I know."

"But now it makes sense why it takes you so long to decide if you wanna be with me. It's not an easy decision when you wanna commit this fully and we've known each other for what now, a week?"

"Exactly and it'll be even harder now that I know how you feel."

"Hey, that's not fair. Do you want me to make you a bunch of empty promises? I don't even know if I can take your dick in my mouth without gagging yet."

"That's lovely," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Come on, you know what I mean."

"Yeah, and I'm sorry, but your attitude towards commitment is definitely a problem for me."

"Alright, is there anything else about me you don't like, that I could work on?"

"I'm a little worried about your temper, but aside from that I can't really complain, you've already changed so much since we met, it's quite remarkable."

"Well, I had a good reason to and it wasn't that hard, cause survival is all about adapting to any circumstances as quickly as possible and as I said, I'm a survival-machine. Also, I won't lose my shit again. You have my word on that."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because it's different now. I've learned to trust you and to let my guard down and to accept that I'm at your mercy."

"That's good."

"I've also figured out how to handle you correctly, physically I mean. I just pretend that you're a talking raw egg made out of sugar and act accordingly."

"That's kind of insulting."

"When I kiss you, am I too rough?"

"No, it's perfect."

"See? It works. But I could be less careful if you want."

"No no, I guess there are worse things than being compared with a raw egg made out of sugar."

"There you go... How does it feel by the way?"

"How does what feel?"

"This," he said and held up our hands.

"It's nice."

We both grinned.

We walked around without talking for maybe ten minutes.

"I'm a little cold," I said.

"You can go back if you want."

"No, I have to protect you in case monsters show up."

I felt kind of silly saying that, but after Troy saving my life on several occasions it was the least I could do for him.

"I think I can handle myself, besides, we're fenced in, remember?"

"Still, I don't want to risk it."

The worst thing I could imagine at that point was losing Troy. And if he'd got killed and I hadn't been there to help him I never would've recovered from that.

"Why don't we spread out, so we can cover more ground? That way we'll be done faster."

"Ok."

We separated and for the next two hours or so searched the whole property, but without any luck, so we decided to return to the RV. I started a fire in the wood burner and soon it was nice and warm. I heated up two cans of soup and we ate.

"After we've fortified the RV, there's nothing else left to do, is there?" I said while we were eating. "Are we going to stay here or do you want to leave?"

"I don't know, the house is uninhabitable. The RV is great of course, but we can park it anywhere and it's really warm in California. We could drive along the coast and look for a new place, go swimming in the ocean and sleep on the roof, under the stairs, every night."

"That sounds nice."

"Let's rest for a few more days and then we'll talk about it again, alright?"

"Ok."

We finished our meal, had some peanut butter and then went to work. We had found a roll of chain-link fence by the barn, so we cut it up into smaller pieces and screwed two layers of them over all the windows. It was pretty difficult without a power drill. We had to punch out the holes for the screws with a hammer and we had to use a blanket to muffle the noise. We also built a new lock for the door, making it almost impossible to get in, even with a crowbar. When we were done I had a couple of blisters on the inside of my hand, but I didn't care, it made me feel like I could be useful after all.

At the end of the day we decided to reward ourselves with another warm bath and an elaborate meal. When I was lying in bed that night, in Troy's arms, I felt really content and grateful for how things had turned out. We had plenty of supplies, a great place to live and most importantly each other. There wasn't much more I could've asked for. I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly.

We had left the barn doors open, to air out all the smoke, so I was woken by the sunrise. The sky was mostly purple and some orange shone through, something I hadn't seen before. I turned around, but Troy was still sleeping, so I gently kissed him on the mouth. He opened his eyes and grinned at me.

"Hey, did you just kiss me?" he asked.

"Yeah, I wanted to show you the sunrise."

"Gorgeous," he said softly.

"You didn't even look."

"I know," he answered and winked at me. I smiled and felt myself blushing.

"Oh, you. Now look outside."

He did.

"Yeah, nice."

"How about we stay in bed all morning?"

"I thought we could break more wood."

"No, we have enough wood and besides, I need some rest, look at this," I said and showed him my hand. He took it, blew on it and then kissed all the blisters.

"There, all better."

"Aww, that's so sweet."

"I'll do it myself then."

"No, you're staying right here, with me," I said, laying my head on his chest and my arm over his stomach. It felt so warm and snug that I closed my eyes for a moment to fully enjoy it.

"Fine, but we can't just stay in bed all morning."

"Why not?"

"I don't know, I was taught respectable people don't stay in bed longer than its dark outside, unless they're sick. Only bums and trailer trash do that."

"Well, an RV counts as a trailer and we don't have a job or any money, so we basically are trailer trash."

"Shit, you're right," he replied, laughing a little.

"Let's go back to sleep, ok?" I said and stroked his stomach.

"I could try, but I really feel like getting up."

"You have my permission to smell my hair from time to time. That should distract you for a while."

He frowned.

"I don't wanna smell your hair."

"Sure you do. It's ok, I think it's sweet."

"But it's not true."

"Whatever you say. Hey, is there smoke coming out from under the blanket? Your pants must be on fire."

"Cody! I'm not lying!"

I lifted my head and smiled at him.

"If you admit it you'll get another kiss." He opened his mouth, but hesitated and I laughed. "It's really nothing to be embarrassed about," I said.

"I don't even know why I wanna do it."

"Because you're attracted to me and my hair is loaded with pheromones, so if you smell it, it's like you're snorting heroin or something."

"Yeah, that's a good comparison. You're like a drug. I get more and more addicted to you and even though I know it's wrong, I can't stop."

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. Are you saying loving me is wrong?"

"Of course it is."

"Why?"

"A man loving another man, it's against nature."

"No, it's not, there's homosexuality in nature."

"Yeah, but it's still wrong, cause those animals can't procreate."

"Not every animal has to procreate, that would lead to overpopulation. Homosexuality prevents that, which means it has a purpose."

"I haven't thought about it like that before."

"See? Also, if I'm an angel, God created me, and he's infallible, but I'm gay, so homosexuality can't be wrong, right?"

"I guess. But I don't care either way, I just want my fix."

I grinned.

"As I said, feel free to smell my hair whenever you want... Unless I haven't washed it in more than two days, then it's gross," I said and laid my head back in his chest.

"Hey, what about my kiss?"

"Oh, right, I forgot."

I lifted my head, leaned in and we kissed for a couple of seconds.

"Alright, now you can sleep," he said and we both grinned.

I laid down my head and closed my eyes again. After a minute or so I felt him smell my hair and I smiled to myself.

I dozed off, but maybe an hour later nature called. I looked up at Troy, but he had fallen asleep too, so I gave him a quick kiss. He immediately opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"You cheater, you were just pretending to be asleep so I would kiss you," I said.

"Hey, I just closed my eyes. It's not my fault you jumped to conclusions."

I looked at him suspiciously.

"So that wasn't intentional?"

"I didn't say that."

I giggled.

"Now I have to punish you."

"Oh yeah, how?"

"I don't know yet, maybe I'll pee in your soup a little."

"Your piss probably tastes like warm Fanta, so I don't care."

"Eww, that's just wrong. But speaking of warm Fanta, I need to use the bathroom."

"Alright, I'll open a can of breakfast for us in the meantime. Any requests?"

"Peaches would be nice."

"You're a peach," he said, grinning.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, frowning, and he looked at me with a surprised expression. I knew I wasn't masculine, especially not compared to Troy, but that's exactly why it bothered me so much when he didn't see me as a real man. It made me feel inadequate, like I was worth less than him.

"I don't know. That you're sweet?"

"You usually don't say that to a guy."

"What are you, the language-police or something?"

"And what are you, an illiterate or something?"

He lifted his right hand, raised his middle finger and held it directly in front of my face.

"Bite me," he said and I tried to bite into his finger, but he quickly stuck it so deep into my mouth that it made me gag.

"What he heck was that?!" I asked indignantly.

"Didn't you like the taste of my finger?" he replied, laughing.

"Open your mouth, right now!"

"No thanks."

"Do it or I won't speak to you for two days."

"Oh really?" I just glared at him. He reluctantly opened his mouth and I stuck my finger in till he gagged. "Jesus, if someone were watching us they'd think we're insane," he said and I giggled.

"Well, one of us is."

"I think someone needs to get the shit tickled out of him."

"You know, wounded like that I could probably kick your butt now, so you better watch it."

"You couldn't kick my ass if I were tied to a tree. I can spit harder than you can punch."

"You're a jerk," I said and tried to climb over him, but he held on to me.

"Come on, I was only teasing you."

"So you think I could take you?"

"Sure," he said, grinning.

"You're lying."

"Alright, look, it's like I'm the snake and you're the snake charmer. I'm quick and deadly and you wouldn't stand a chance against me. But you're the one in control. You can make me do whatever the fuck you want. So who do you think has the real power?"

"Me."

"That's right."

"I need to go."

"Are we good?"

"Of course."

He let go of me and I climbed out of bed, put on some clothes and hurried to the toilet. When I came back Troy handed me an opened can of peaches and disappeared too. He was gone for a while and I was just about to look for him when he came through the door. He sat down across from me and grinned.

"Are you ok? You're a little pale," I said.

"Yes, I'm fine."

His breath smelled really bad. I frowned.

"Did you throw up?"

"Yeah, the stench got to me."

I held my hand against his forehead.

"You don't seem to have a fever."

"I'm not sick, don't worry."

"Let's hope not or I'm getting sick too."

"You won't. Now, any peaches left?"

"Sure, here."

I handed him the can and when he drank the juice out of it I giggled.

"What's funny?" he asked.

"Does it taste like Fanta?"

He frowned and held the can to his nose. I laughed.

"You're just fucking with me, right?"

"You will never know."

"Here, drink some."

"Eww... I mean, no thanks," I said and smiled innocently. He looked unsurely at the can and I laughed again.

"This is not funny."

"Yes it is and I thought you wouldn't care."

"I don't," he said and downed the juice in one go. "Mmh, delicious," he mumbled and I laughed.

"That's gross, but now we're even."

"Jesus, you actually did piss in it, didn't you?"

"Of course not, but I made you think I did."

"You little shit, now you need to get punished."

"No, come on, let's just go back to being nice to each other, ok? Please?"

"Fine... What do you wanna do today?"

"There's a CD-player in the front and I've found a couple CD's in the glove compartment. It's only classical and folksy stuff, but still, its music. We could go back to bed and listen to it for a while."

"That'll drain the battery pretty fast and it's probably really old, so we don't know how long it'll last."

"Only for half an hour or so, that won't drain it completely. Please?"

"Alright, why not."

"Great," I said, smiling.

"I'll start a fire while you choose a CD."

"Ok."

I went through the CD's and finally picked Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata', because it was the only thing I knew. I put it in the player and turned down the volume a little. Troy was still busy with the fire, so I climbed into bed and waited for him. When he joined me I covered us up and cuddled myself against him. Soon it was really warm and cosy and Troy was gently stroking my back. It felt good to listen to music again and the piece was beautiful and very moving.

I started to think about my life and how grateful I was for finding Troy and all the things we had. I suddenly realized that I was genuinely happy and was a little overwhelmed by the feeling. A tear ran down my face and I sniffled softly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Troy asked concerned. I lifted my head and looked at him. He frowned when he saw the tears in my eyes. I could see how worried he was and how much he cared. I leaned forward and kissed him long and passionately. I felt bad for leading him on again, but I couldn't help myself, I just wanted to show him my appreciation somehow. When we parted he frowned again.

"What was that for?... Not that I'm complaining," he said.

"Just for being sweet."

"But we're still not together, right?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"But we will be soon, right? I mean, you wouldn't kiss me all the time if you didn't want to be with me, would you?"

"I feel connected to you, yes, but I don't want you to break my heart, so I can't and probably won't let that happen. Do you think you could settle for just being really close friends, who occasionally give each other a kiss?"

"No," he said, smiling.

"Then why are you smiling? I thought you wanted to be with me."

"I'm just happy, that's all," he said softly.

"Ok... How do you like the music?"

"It's kind of cool and pretty soothing."

"I like it too. When we're on the road we could listen to it every night."

"That would be nice... Are you still sad?"

"I wasn't sad."

"But you were crying."

"They were happy tears."

"I see."

He kissed my forehead and we both smiled. I laid my head back on his chest and we continued to listen to the music. When it ended I got up, turned off the CD-player and tried to start the engine. Thankfully it did start.

"Now what?" Troy asked.

"We could read the sequel to 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'."

"Sure."

"It's almost time for lunch, should we eat first?"

"Why don't we skip lunch and break more wood later, to really work up an appetite and then have an elaborate dinner tonight?"

"Ok, sounds good."

I got back in bed with the book and read to Troy for a couple of hours. We had a lot of fun and laughed constantly.

Later in the afternoon we went to the house, gathered all the rest of the useable furniture and broke it into smaller pieces. Soon it started to get dark.

"Can you finish up in here? I'll get dinner ready," Troy said.

"Sure."

He left and since I wasn't thrilled about being by myself for too long, especially in a dark house that reeked of death, I worked as fast as I could. When I was finally done about twenty minutes later I filled the wheelbarrow and headed to the RV. The curtains to the driver's cabin were closed and the inside was brightly lit. The light was flickering though. It suddenly occurred to me that the RV might be on fire and that Troy could be in trouble, so I panicked, quickly ran to the door and opened it.