The Cockney Canuck - 102. Chapter 102 A student for a Day

I was nearly a week into grade eleven and already my coming out was beginning to feel like yesterday’s news. My popularity had diminished somewhat from the first day, and on Friday I was totally eclipsed by a new arrival. Someone more English than me. Taller, better looking, and straight!

Those were Nicola’s words, but there was no doubting Tom’s pedigree as he boarded the old yellow boneshaker for his first and last day at Stephenson High School. I was demoted to the middle seats to make room for him among the elite at the back of the bus where my sister could show him off to her friends. Tom was better equipped to deal with the girls than I was and he didn’t disappoint. He had charm in abundance and plenty of cheeky chat to go with it. I doubt if anyone understood a word he said, but I guess that was part of the attraction and his bedroom eyes had the girls swooning over him. I had a feeling he was going to make a big impression that day.

He was there at the invitation of Mr Andrews, who wanted to show him the school and use him in a kind of cultural questions and answers session during my Canadian History class. Friday afternoon was also my new slot for physical education and the first few weeks were set aside for baseball. For Tom,—a regular in my old school’s cricket team—it was an opportunity to try his hand at an all-American sport, and he was looking forward to swinging the bat.

I was told to bring him to the principal’s office before the buzzer sounded, so I waited for him at the front of the bus while he freed himself from his female entourage.

“Come and eat lunch with us,” said Nicola wooing him a kiss him on the cheek. “You don’t wanna sit at the gay table do you?”

“Why don’t you let him decide where he wants to sit,” I said. “And it’s not the gay table, that’s a homophobic remark.”

“No, it’s not, dork! He’ll have more fun with us.”

Poor Tom looked overwhelmed by the attention as we bickered for his company. “Leave him alone, he’s my friend, okay!” I bundled him through the main doors and into the foyer. “You need to stop being so bloody charming all the time.”

“I don’t really mind being chased by girls,” he said, as he waved goodbye. “But Naomi is scary.”

“You haven’t met Miss Pringle yet.”

“Who?”

“She’s the school secretary and a real sex bomb. I mean, proper wanking material.” Tom thought it was funny.

“Robbie, it’s hard to imagine you wanking over a girl.”

“I meant you, stupid.”

“You're wanking over me?”

“No! Well, I have done in the past.”

“I don’t wanna know.”

“But not for a while now.”

“Good!”

“Anyway, that’s not what I meant. You’ll see.”

The school office was an oasis of calm compared to the frenetic activity in the corridors but the tranquillity would soon be interrupted by my nemesis and the topic of our conversation. The ever unhelpful Miss Pringle.

“Where are you going?” Her grating vocal tones were unmistakable, but I couldn’t see her until her head popped up from behind the reception desk. She had blue hair.

“That’s her,” I whispered.

“Oh yeah, I see what you mean. She looks like a smurf. Actually, she does remind me of a movie star.”

“Alien!”

“Yeah, that’s it. She’s a dead ringer.” It was an old joke but still worthy of a giggle as we approached the reception desk.

“It’s rude to whisper.” Miss Pringle pursed her lips and glared at us. “What do you want?”

“This is my friend, Tom.”

“And?”

“He’s here to see Mr Andrews.”

“He’s busy.”

“No, he’s not. He’s expecting us. Tom’s here from England.”

“Not another one.” She removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Are you okay, Miss?”

“No, I’ve got a headache but I’m hoping it will go away very soon.”

“You might need to take something, to get rid of it.”

“I might need to get rid of you, to get rid of it!” she snapped, before composing herself. “What’s your name, young man?”

“Robbie.”

“Not you! I know who you are. I mean your friend. I’m not aware of any new students.”

“He’s Tom and he’s only going to be here for one day before he goes back to England. So he doesn’t need to do any of that orienteering stuff.”

She was staring into my eyes, making me feel uneasy. “Are you taking drugs?”

“NO!”

“Well, you're not making any sense. You can’t come to school for one day.” She scowled at me before putting on her headset to call the Principal.

“Why have you got blue hair, Miss Pringle?”

“What’s it got to do with you?”

“Nothing, I suppose.” I could feel Tom’s elbow nudging me, and I turned to pull a face at him as the buzzer sounded. “I have to go now. I’ll see you in my history class. I’m sure Miss Pringle will look after you.” I winked at him and licked my lips seductively as he mouthed something rude.

*     *     *

Mr Andrews gave Tom a personal tour of the school and contrary to what Miss Pringle said, my friend was made a student for one day. It was a dubious honour but one which gave him access to all the regular facilities, like the cafeteria.

Afterwards, he joined me in my Canadian history class. It was the only lesson he attended during the day but it was nothing like our old school and we didn’t get to sit together either. Towards the end, Mr Andrews showed up and Tom was persuaded to stand at the front and answer random questions on growing up in the UK. I could see what the principal was trying to do, but with similar living standards, a teenager’s life in England was much the same as it was here. The questions soon became more personal.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” asked one of the females to a chorus of whistles and jeers.

“No,” he replied before tactfully adding. “Not at the moment.”

“Are you looking for one?” There were more jibes.

“Come and see me after class,” he said in a deep voice and once again they loved him. If it wasn’t his last day, this performance would have all but guaranteed him a shag. The girl, unperturbed by the fact they would soon be separated by the Atlantic Ocean, swapped phone numbers and Skype details with him on the way to lunch.

“We can have webcam sex,” he whispered to me as we lined up for food.

“I don’t mind but it’ll have to be when Daniel’s out.”

“What? I meant with her, you dirty little fucker. You don’t need to do that; you’ve got Nathan.” He was right, although I would soon be wondering for how long.

He arrived late for lunch, waving over at me and talking excitedly with Ginny. When he sat down, he could hardly contain himself.

“I have something to tell you.” He waited until he had everyone’s attention. “I’m gonna be in a television commercial.”

“Seriously?” I said.

“Uh huh. The agency called me yesterday, but I couldn’t say anything until they confirmed the offer this morning. My mom just texted me.”

“That’s fantastic. Well done,” I said and the others followed suit. “Who’s it for?”

“I dunno yet. I think it’s a clothing brand.”

“Wow! That’s bloody cool,” said Tom.

“Right up your street,” said Ginny. “You could be dating a film star soon, Robbie.”

“Could be.”

Nathan was understandably over the moon, and I knew I should have been happy for him, but I wasn’t. There were conflicting emotions and a twinge of disappointment, which at first, I didn’t recognise. I had to fight hard to keep a smile on my face and it was noticeable to Nathan who could read me like a book.

“What’s wrong aren’t you pleased for me?”

“Of course, I am. This is what you wanted; it’s what you’ve been working for. It could be the start of your career.”

“I know. It’s cool, isn’t it?”

“Very.”

“Well, I’m not gonna get too carried away just yet. They might not like me or I might fuck up.” He smiled and kissed me on the cheek, trying to contain his exuberance.

His attempt to look blasé about the whole thing was worthy of an Oscar on its own, but I knew different. They would definitely like him, in fact, they would probably love him, and he wasn’t going to mess up. He would make double sure of that.

“If you become a film star,” said Tom. “I wanna signed photograph.”

“You’ll get more than that, Tom. You can come and stay with me at my Hollywood mansion.” He must have noticed my uncomfortable reaction and backtracked. “Not that it’s ever going to happen, of course. I’ll be happy if I can get a few commercials, maybe some stage work would be cool.”

I wasn’t fooled. Mr Hollywood had been dreaming of international stardom since he could talk. He was never going to be satisfied with commercials. They would merely be a stepping stone to something bigger. He probably had it all planned; a blueprint for success. This was just the first rung of the ladder and I was just the first boyfriend.

That was the problem. I admired his determination, but I was also scared of it. Getting into acting was a long shot but if anyone was going to do it, it would be him. He would go to any lengths to achieve it, no matter what and a career in show business would be more important than me.

There was always this worry at the back of my mind that one day someone would notice his undoubted talent and take him away. I would laugh those thoughts off and push them to the back of my mind. This was only a silly advert; it wasn’t as if he had just been named as the next James Bond, but it gave my concerns a little more credence.

“You're very talented,” said Rory. “I think you’ll do well.” He was too nice for his own good sometimes, even if he was being truthful. I was pleased though, with Nathan’s reaction.

“Aw, that’s really nice of you. Thank you.” Rory was treated to a theatrical kiss on the cheek, which turned his fair complexion a deep shade of crimson and brought a genuine smile to my face.

You would have to go some to make my boyfriend blush. He could soak up praise all day long and still have room for an encore, but he didn’t need any more confidence boosters. He already had an ego the size of a blimp.

His news dominated the talk at our table during lunch when I was expecting it to be about Tom. At one point, I almost resented Nathan for crashing his party. It was strange how I suddenly felt closer and more akin to my best friend than I did to the boy who I supposedly loved.

*     *     *

After going our separate ways for the afternoon, Tom was once again the centre of attention and the rest of the school day was devoted to baseball.

It was also my favourite North American sport and with Alex, the demon pitcher at home, I actually stood a chance of hitting one of those balls.

On my second visit to the plate, I did more than just hit it. I hit it out of the park. I knew it was good by the sound it made and the look of disappointment on the pitcher’s face. The ball cleared the running track that circled the adjacent football field and landed somewhere in the end zone. It was a home run and touchdown all in one and deserving of a lavish, if juvenile celebration.

“You still have to run around,” said David, lifting his catcher’s mask and tapping me on the shoulder.

“What?”

“You still have to run around and touch the bases, you dick or it doesn’t count.”

“Oh yeah.” I laughed before setting off around the diamond to claim my first home run, cheered by the coach and my teammates. By the time I trotted home with arms aloft as if I had scored the winning goal in the FA cup final, most of them were talking among themselves.

Alex would have definitely appreciated my efforts, and I kind of missed him not being there. Baseball without him wasn’t quite the same. In fact, school without him wasn’t quite the same.

I could hit but I couldn’t catch for toffee and the glove they gave me was torn and floppy like a pancake. Tom was a good fielder and despite my home run, he got the lion’s share of the attention with his all-round play and his cricket like approach to batting.

When the official lesson ended along with the school week, he was persuaded by a few of the boys to stay for another impromptu game. These were Alex’s friends and I rarely mixed with them, but they took an instant shine to Tom, so I missed the school bus to stay behind with him and play.

My home run was a moment for me to savour but it did little to improve my ratings as the older boys divided who was left into two makeshift teams. I was picked eighth out of nine, with only Denny behind me and she was a girl. Tom, who had impressed in his first game of baseball was deemed a more valuable pick, but I was certain it also had something to do with my sexual orientation. Alex’s friends were never overly chummy with me before I came out, and now they were even less so.

Under Mr Andrews’ new zero-tolerance rules, they were careful not to say anything that could be misconstrued as homophobic, but they made no effort to be friendly with me either. They kept their distance and talked only about the game. Until Nathan loosened everyone up, that is. He came out to the sports fields to see why we were still there and ended up staying to become my own personal cheerleader.

When I returned to bat, he was in the bleachers behind home plate with a couple of his girl hangers-on.

“You missed it, Nathan. I scored a home run earlier.”

“Do it again,” he yelled. “I believe in you. Go, Robbie. Go, Robbie.”

My boyfriend argued every pitch and booed the umpire when I struck out. Then later, he cheered wildly when I popped it up in the air.

“Don’t you dare catch that,” he yelled to the shortstop, but the boy did and very easily too. “I don’t like you. Get him next time, Robbie.”

His vociferous support, although dearly appreciated by yours truly, only served to ostracise me even further from my teammates but by that time I no longer cared. Nathan’s unswerving loyalty put him firmly back in my good books, and I was willing to forgive him for daring to follow his dream and accepting his first paid acting job.

It was the reason why he was in such an irrepressible mood and when he was like this, he could win anyone over. His lively and colourful banter became a feature of the afternoon, and by the end of the game, even Alex’s friends were laughing.

Maybe we should organise a gay versus straight game one day,” said one. “Don’t take that the wrong way, my friend. I don’t wanna be reported to Mr Andrews.”

I had to laugh, it was hardly a derogatory comment but he still managed to sneak in a little slur at the system. I could live with that but the proposed game may have been a little one-sided and not in the way that most would have expected. If Alex, the school’s best pitcher by a mile, decided to play for the rainbow team, then they wouldn’t stand a chance. On top form, no one in the school could get a bat onto one of his balls.

They had no idea, of course, that their friend was gay, and it was unlikely he would want to blow his cover for a game of baseball but it was fun thinking about it, and I would have loved to see their faces.

‘Maybe one day Alex will switch teams and play where he belongs’.

“That was fun,” said Tom rubbing his sweaty torso against me before heading back to the school for a shower. I didn’t bother joining him, deciding instead to spare the other boys any discomfort by waiting until I got home.

“I’ll take your place if you want,” said Nathan. “Cheerleading gets me really hot.”

“Nice try. So does showering with a load of naked, sweaty, athletic, teenage boys.”

He looked as if he was about to faint. “Oh my God, say that again. You make it sound like an orgy.”

The school showers, although offering a feast of limp willies were never high on my list of fun things to do even before I came out. Now that my attraction to boy’s flesh was known to everyone, it had the potential to become a problem and joking aside, I wondered how Nathan coped.

“Don’t you get embarrassed?”

“No, but some of my classmates do. I don’t go out of my way to look at them or anything. I generally keep my head down or try to look somewhere where there isn’t a dick. It can be difficult.”

“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to it.”

“It’ll be awkward at first, but after a while, when they realise you're not gonna try to touch them, they’ll start to chill out. Of course, you're gonna find one or two who will want you to look at them. They’ll appear right in front of you as you're standing under the shower washing, and try to make it look like they didn’t know you were there.”

I laughed, recalling my own experiences in the school showers on both sides of the Atlantic. “Everyone likes to look, don’t they?”

“Of course they do and all boys get a little turned on by it. It’s just that we admit to it and they hide it.”

“I’m glad I came out,” I said. “It’s made me into a better person.”

“That’s sweet. I’m kinda glad you came out too. It’s made you into a sexier person.”

He pulled my hands and put them around his waist before kissing me. Even out in the now empty sports fields, we were still visible and on school property, but it was the least of my worries as I kissed him back.

We were interrupted by a group of new boys who seemed shocked by the sight of two boys kissing in the open and in a fairly romantic way. Only one of them had the guts to say anything though.

“Why don’t you get a room? That’s disgusting.”

“Why don’t you mind your own business?” I replied.

“Fuck off, queer boy. Do you suck each other’s dicks too? I bet you do.”

“Of course we do,” said Nathan. “You're just jealous because no one sucks your dick.” He gave him the finger as the boys walked away laughing. “Go home and masturbate.”

“Go there, Nathan. I like it when you get angry.”

“You do?”

“Most definitely.”

“So do you wanna celebrate with me tonight.”

“Celebrate?”

“Have you forgotten my good news already?”

“No, no, of course, I haven’t forgotten. How do you wanna celebrate?”

“I dunno. Whatever, hmm, how about a blowjob!”

‘Whoa, don’t beat about the bush’.

I laughed at his sudden brazenness but he was deadly serious. It was proof of how far he had come in the short time we had been having sex. Just two months ago he would have been too embarrassed to ask for something like that.

“I don’t mind. Where though. The school’s pretty busy.”

“Not here, we can go to my house. My parents won't be home until eight o’clock.” I looked at my watch; it was almost five-thirty, but then I remembered Tom.

“It’s gonna be difficult. It’s Tom’s last night, and I really wanna do something with him.”

“Well, bring him along too then.”

“What?”

“Don’t tell me that doesn’t turn you on.” I considered myself very open-minded about sex and was willing to try most things, but for some reason, this really shocked me. Maybe it was just because it was Tom. Nathan had been flirting with him since he arrived and now he was admitting that he wanted to have sex with him.

‘What would Tom think of all this. We haven’t even asked him’.

I had already decided it was a non-starter. “Nathan, look. I don’t think Tom is gay and even if he was, it wouldn’t be right. It would mess me up and it probably wouldn’t do him any favours either. What happened is in the past now and I don’t think either of us would want to bring it back. We’re just getting to be friends again.” I was hoping he would understand. It didn’t seem like a lot to ask.

“It’s okay. It doesn’t matter,” he said but his tone was very abrasive. “We can celebrate another day. You should take Tom home and have fun on your last night together. He handed me my bag and began walking towards the school.

‘Shit’!

This was so unfair. I didn’t need it. My head was spinning, and I was left wondering what happened to the funny, sexy boy, who just minutes earlier was cheering my every move.

“Nathan, wait up. Why don’t you come over to my place? Tom will want to say goodbye to you as well. I wanna celebrate with you, really I do. I’m sure we’ll be able to find a little time alone at some point. Then I’ll prove it to you.”

He glanced at me and his frown soon turned to a smile. He shook his head as I grinned back at him.

“It’s impossible to stay angry at you. Do you know that?”

“Tell that to my uncle.”

“Your dad.”

“Uncle.”

“Sorry, but he’s your dad now. I don’t wanna talk about him though. I wanna talk about sex.” I guessed as much. He wasn’t going to leave this alone. He always got what he wanted in the end.

“Okay, I’ll tell you what. I don’t mind doing it with someone else as long as it’s nobody we know. I mean no one who I’m gonna have to look at across the classroom for years to come or bump into at the beach.”

He laughed. “Are you serious?”

“If that’s what you want, I’ll do it. I don’t mind.”

“Robbie, I love you, but I don’t want you to do something because you feel you have to. It’s supposed to be fun. I thought you would like it.” He bit his lip and rubbed his foot lightly against my crotch. Then whispered in his most seductive voice. “You have a few unusual fantasies of your own.”

I could hardly deny it; he could see the evidence rising as we talked. “You enjoyed doing that,” I said bashfully. “It wasn’t just me.”

“Of course. I enjoyed it. I enjoy everything we do together. That’s my point, so should you.”

I had enjoyed plenty of fantasies where there were more than two people involved, some of them downright filthy, so there was no reason why I wouldn’t enjoy something similar in real life. As long as it was a stranger.

“It’s cool. Really. It’ll be fun. I wouldn’t agree to it if I was uncomfortable. It was just the thought of doing it with someone we know. That’s all.”

“Okay, I’m sure I’ll find somebody. It doesn’t have to be right away.”

“No, we can take our time. But I wanna see him first though, before I agree. I mean, I gotta fancy him. He has to be nice looking and sexy, and not too old, or too young.”

“Geez, Robbie. You don’t have to marry him. It’s just sex.”

“And just the once, right. No repeat performances. I don’t want you getting to like this guy.”

“Just the once. I promise.”

“I know you think I’m being insecure.” I smiled as he rubbed the front of my shorts.

“It doesn’t matter. Now, are there any other conditions.”

“Yeah, no kissing.”

“Robbie, what the fuck?”

“Okay, kissing is allowed but if there’s sex then condoms. I don’t care if he’s as virgin as the snow, he still has to cover up.”

*     *     *

The drive to the airport on Saturday was much quieter than the same journey the week before when we all talked excitedly over each other. This time it was only Tom and me in the back of Don’s car, and neither of us said a word. Every so often one of us would turn to face the other and smile, but there was little to be happy about.

I was losing my best friend again for the second time in a year.

“It’s your turn next,” he said to me as Don entered the car park at Pearson. “Your turn to visit me.”

I had to think about that. I had the money if Don and Sue allowed me, but I wasn’t sure how I would feel about going back there after all this time. It would bring back a lot of unhappy memories. Mostly to do with my mom and a difficult period of my life, which hadn’t quite healed.

“It would be better if you came over here.” I grabbed his hand on the back seat and gave it a firm squeeze.

“No tears, okay? I don’t want a repeat of last time. And definitely no kisses,” he whispered. “You got me in so much trouble with my parents.”

I smiled as I remembered snogging him at Heathrow in front of his startled mom and dad. A repeat of those antics in front of Don, and I would probably have to walk back to Cobourg.

Once checked in, Don bought us something to eat and then left to search for a washroom.

“It’s been really cool, Robbie. I like your friends. You’ve done well. You seem a lot happier here than when you were in England, even if you stick out like a sore thumb sometimes.”

“I thought I’ve adapted quite well.”

“You have, silly, I was just joking.” He smiled, but he looked nervous and slightly agitated.

“Are you nervous about flying?”

“No, I’m fine. I just don’t like saying goodbye, that’s all.”

“Oh. Me too.”

“You think a lot of Nathan, don’t you?” I wasn’t sure what brought that on but it looked as if he needed to get it off his chest.

“Yes, of course. Why do you ask?”

“You love him?”

“I don’t know, I think so. Why?”

“I don’t wanna ruin things for you but be careful. I’m serious. He may not be able to live up to your expectations.”

My eyes dropped. I wanted him to elaborate, but at the same time, I didn’t want to hear what I thought he was going to say.

“Is this because he’s been flirting with you. I know he does that to everyone. It’s only a joke.”

“Nathan’s having fun. He loves you for sure but he’s fifteen. He wants to have fun.”

“He is having fun.”

“Okay, I won't say any more.”

“No. Tom, I want you to be honest with me. Tell me what you think.”

“Honestly. You really wanna know what I think?”

“Yes.”

“He’s gonna play.” He finished his Coke while looking at me for a reaction. I remained poker-faced. “The first opportunity he gets.”

“He’s a flirt, I get that.”

“No. He wants to play around. I’ve seen it.”

“You don’t know him like I do, Tom. He not like that; he’s not that type of boy.”

“Robbie, listen to yourself. I wonder how many times people have said those words.”

“But it’s true, he wouldn’t hurt me. Not even if he had the chance.”

“I’m sorry, mate. You ask me what I thought and I’m telling you. I’ve been a fly on the wall for the last week. It’s been interesting. I’ve seen a few things that I wish I hadn’t and overheard a few conversations which I wasn’t supposed to. I hope I’m wrong because I don’t want you to get hurt.”

I wanted to know what exactly he had overheard, but our conversation was ended by Don’s chubby form towering over us. He was looking at his watch and I knew why. He wanted to get away before the four-oh-one turned from a highway into a parking lot.

“Leave yourself plenty of time to get through security. You don’t wanna have to rush.” It meant we had to go and Tom agreed. I didn’t envy him, having to go through all those checks, scanners, and rude security staff. Then sit ten abreast for seven hours like sardines. I hated it. Poor Tom had to do it twice in a week.

“You know they’re gonna want to look up your bum hole, don’t you?” Then I laughed as I realised Don had overheard.

“Robbie, please,” he said. “I know it was a joke, but people can hear you.”

“Sorry.”

“Dad,” added Tom in a whisper.

“Shutup, he’s not my dad.”

“Yes, he is.”

“Not!” He elbowed me and I pushed him playfully, knowing he would come back at me. I wanted to make the most of some physical contact. It was one thing which Skype couldn’t replicate. I walked with Tom as far as I was allowed to go and waited for him to say goodbye to Don. He shook his hand and thanked him for arranging his visit, the party, Niagara Falls, and everything else.

“You're more than welcome, Tom. You can stay the whole summer next year.”

“And I’ll have a car by then. I can drive you around,”

Tom laughed and Don rolled his eyes. “He’ll drive you up the wall more like.” It seemed too far off though to be thinking about next summer.

Tom’s eyes were already glazed over as he put his arms around me. It wasn’t Don’s cup of tea and he finally did the sensible thing.

“I’ll tell you what; I’ll leave you boys to say goodbye and wait in the car for you, Robbie. You remember where it is?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll be right there. Thanks.”

“Ten minutes, no longer.”

“He’s not all bad,” said Tom.

“He has his moments. That was one of his better ones, but he can still be a real jerk at times. He’ll never accept me as gay. I know it. He’s too stubborn.”

“At least you're not on your own. Daniel’s a pretty cool brother, Amy loves you and Nicola… Well, Nicola is just Nicola, I suppose.”

“And Nathan?”

Tom shrugged his shoulders. He had already delivered his verdict on my boyfriend. “Remember what I told you. I gotta go.”

“Yeah, see you mate.” I grabbed him and kissed him on the cheek. Then smiled victoriously. “Sorry. I had to do that.”

“That’s okay. I understand.” He put his bag down, put his arms around me and shocked me with a full-on kiss on the lips. It was the first time we had connected in that way since the infamous Heathrow farewell, only this was much longer and more passionate. There was even some tongue in there. I had forgotten what a good kisser he was.

He smiled as he pulled away leaving me wobbling at the knees and gasping for breath. “Now we’re even.” I was completely taken by surprise.

‘What the fuck happened there’?

He winked at me as I licked my tingling lips and then he turned and walked back into an elderly man.

“Sorry mister,” he said and I laughed. It made his final departure a little more bearable. “I’ll call you on Skype when I get home.”

My eyes followed him until he reached the glass partition where he gave a quick wave and was gone. I had done well to hold back my emotions, but now even though I was standing in what must have been one of the busiest buildings in the whole of Canada, I suddenly felt very alone.

‘He’s gone’.

It was supposed to be easier second time around and it was, but not by much and I was fighting back tears as I looked around in panic. Tom’s farewell snog had brought me a lot of attention which I hadn’t noticed at the time. Now I just wanted to get out of there as quick as possible.

Despite my reassurance to Don, I had no idea where the car park was or which car park we were in. My head was in such a mess I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to recognise the car if I saw it.

In the end, I had to call him to ask where he was. Don wasn’t pleased. My incompetence delayed us and put us into the rush hour on the four-oh-one, adding an extra hour to the journey home.

Tom would probably have been heading over the Atlantic by the time we eventually made it indoors. Tired and emotionally drained, I headed straight for my room to reacquaint myself with my comfortable bed. It still smelled of Tom. Sue hadn’t got around to changing the sheets. I could live with that.

‘If he does decide to spend the whole summer with us next year, then he’ll be back here in a little over ten months’.

I wondered if Nathan would still be my boyfriend in ten months from now. Tom seemed to think not. I didn’t like what he had to say but I respected him for saying it and I knew why he felt the need to warn me. In the end, it wasn’t going to affect him either way. He could have just let it go over his head and left it to me to figure out. Tom put himself in the firing line because he was my mate. My best mate in the whole world and that’s what mates do.

All that made sense. What didn’t make sense was Tom’s kiss.

‘No way that was ever a prank’!