The Cockney Canuck - 131. Chapter 131 Christmas with Conner

The moment I climbed into the back of his mom’s truck Conner pounced on me, throwing his arms around my neck and pulling me across the seat to lick my face like a giant cat. It was an unorthodox welcome, and not what I was expecting from a boy who was usually so well-behaved.

“Ok-ay, so are you a tiger now?”

“Ah-ha,” he nodded and licked under my chin, making me giggle until his mom reached between the seats to swat him on the back of his head.

“Stoppit, Conner, and put your seatbelt back on!”

He peeled himself off me with a satisfied smile, leaving me sprawled across the other two seats, red-faced and mildly traumatised. I sat up and wiped his spit from my cheek before returning his smile and fastening my seatbelt.

His mom looked flustered. She smiled hesitantly at Sue, before selecting the wrong gear and nearly driving into the back of the car parked in front of us. It belonged to Sue’s brother, who along with his petulant wife, and semi-gay son were among a dozen or so guests I was pleased to be leaving behind.

They arrived just a few minutes before I left, which for me was perfect timing. I wasn’t looking forward to talking to Tommy again after sucking his dick at Thanksgiving, in the car we almost hit.

“In future, Conner can you please wait until we drive away before throwing yourself at Robbie. That was embarrassing.”

I guess she was anxious to give a good impression to my homophobic adopted parents, who were blissfully unaware that I would be sharing a room and probably a bed with Conner.

“I couldn’t help it,” he said, turning to me with a huge smile. “He looks so nice.”

“You look nice too,” I said. “And you smell nice.”

“Well, you taste nice.”

His mom rolled her eyes. “Get a room, guys.” It made Conner giggle, so I laughed with him.

We hadn’t seen each other in the flesh since the school play, but in the last week, we had spoken almost every day on the phone. He was still riding the guilt train after admitting to some online frivolities with his ex, but it didn’t matter to me. As far as I was concerned, this was the first day of our relationship, and I didn’t want to know about anything g that happened before it. Conner was now officially my boyfriend and to prove it, he leaned across the middle seat to kiss me on the lips.

“Merry Christmas.”

He could hardly contain himself. Conner was like a little kid, bubbling with excitement and nervous energy. The atmosphere in the back of that truck was charged. I could feel the electricity between us even before he reached across to hold my hand.

His mom must have noticed it too, but she relaxed the moment we were away from my house.

“Have you had a nice day so far, Robbie?”

“It’s been boring up until now/.”

It wasn’t entirely true. I had a great morning. Woken early by an excited Amy and dragged upstairs with Daniel, to join the rest of the family in the living room where we exchanged gifts and stuffed our faces with chocolate and candy.

It was my first experience of a traditional North American family Christmas, and despite a turbulent twelve-month induction, it actually felt like I belonged.

Even Don was in good spirits. He looked genuinely happy, sharing jokes and talking with me about school, my mom, and Tom. He humoured me when I told him about my plan to take Jamie to England, but agreed to arrange a meeting with his financial advisor to discuss my trust fund.

It was a positive step forward at the end of a year of negativity and the perfect springboard for what promised to be an exciting new chapter in my life.

My new boyfriend was brimming with confidence. Conner was behaving like a boy who knew he was finally going to get what he wanted, and I was a ready and willing participant for whatever he had in mind.

After my four-month enforced sabbatical was ended by a somewhat regrettable experience with my sister’s friend Stephanie, I was ready for another bite of the cherry. This time I had my sights on more familiar territory and the focus of my desire was well within my reach. There was a prominent lump growing in the front of Conner’s pants, which he no longer felt the need to conceal. So I followed his lead, blatantly staring at it with hungry eyes and moist lips. That night couldn’t come quick enough.

When we arrived at Rory’s house, he was already waiting for us outside. I waved to his mom and dad as their golden-haired son climbed into the passenger seat in front of me.

“Merry Christmas everyone.” He looked cute in a Santa’s hat and was full of seasonal joy as he fastened his seatbelt and peered between the seats, smiling at our clasped hands. He winked at me to let me know of his approval, before talking enthusiastically about his Christmas. Rebecca was waiting for him at the house, so it seemed likely his day would only get better.

I would have given that scenario more thought if my mind wasn’t already overloaded with sexual fantasies emanating from the boy whose sweaty palm I was holding. Fantasies I knew we could be playing for real before the day was out, and with the blessing of his parents. It was a convenience I was never afforded with Nathan, yet I wasn’t entirely comfortable with them knowing what we were doing. Parents and sex was never a good combination, even the open-minded Swedish variety.

The journey took just over half-an-hour along mostly empty roads, and it was starting to get dark when we turned into a narrow lane, wide enough for only a single vehicle.

“This is why we need a truck,” said Conner. “Snowploughs don’t come up here.”

I stared out the window at the snow-covered fields. Vast patches of white broken up by areas dense woodland and random lights from the occasional house or farm. The fading light gave it an eerie feel and added to the sense of isolation.

“I don’t think I would like to live in the middle of nowhere.”

“You get used to it,” said his mom. “It has its advantages.”

I was sure Conner didn’t always feel the same way, and I began to understand his frustration a little better. With no buses and no place to go within walking distance, he was totally reliant on his parents.

While his mom chatted, Conner made his intentions clear. My boyfriend moved across to the middle seat to attack me with random kisses and hands that skillfully found their way between layers of clothing. I jumped as he made contact with my flesh; sliding his fingers under my shirt and feeling his way across my chest. Then he tilted his head to kiss me and this time, he didn’t hold back. It was a full-on, spit-exchanging snog, pushing his lips into mine with a subtle and sensual low-pitched hum. He had a sweet taste to him, which lingered long after he withdrew his tongue and sat up looking like a naughty schoolboy. Which, of course, he was.

As his mom parked up, she issued some instructions to her son. “Remember we have guests here who want to see you, so please don’t spend the whole evening in your room.”

Conner looked indignant at the suggestion. “I know,” he mumbled under his breath. “Don’t worry, we won't be spending the whole evening in my room.” His words and expression were laced with sexual connotations, and he barely finished the sentence before his lips were back on mine. As far as I was concerned, he was an excellent host. His in-car entertainment had been top-notch, leaving me with numb lips and a raging hard-on, which he was quick to notice.

He gave it a quick squeeze through my pants before I pushed his hand away, but it was a little late to be playing hard to get, and it only made him more determined. Eventually, he would get his prize. I would make absolutely sure of it.

The farmhouse was a very old, two-storey brick structure with a large sloping roof, and slightly askew chimney. At the front was a real-life Christmas tree decorated tastefully with red and white lights, but the building behind it looked creepy and deserted.

I climbed awkwardly out of the truck and walked across the virgin snow to look around. Then waited for Conner while his mom and Rory disappeared around the side towards the sound of voices.

I heard his footsteps in the snow behind me and his heavy breathing, before he put his hands on my shoulders and kissed the back of my neck, making me quiver.

“What do you think?”

“It looks …”

He giggled tickling my neck with his frozen breath. “Go on,” he said. “I want you to be honest.”

“It’s spooky!”

“Haha. Everyone says that.”

“Is it haunted?”

“Oh yeah, there are plenty of ghosts. Why, are you scared?”

“No, of course not.”

“Good, because your room is up in the attic, where they found all the dead bodies.”

I turned and slapped his arm. “Stoppit, I know you're winding me up. What do you mean, my room?”

“So you are scared. Don’t worry. If you're good; I’ll let you sleep with me. Nothing can get you then.”

“Only you.” I gave him an encouraging smile as I turned around to scan the horizon. There were one or two lights in the distance, but the rest was countryside. “How big is it?”

“It’s not huge, but it’s big enough. You won't be disappointed.” He sported a subtle grin as I narrowed my eyes at him and wondered if we were talking about the same thing.

“I was talking about the farm.”

“So was I. What else would I be talking about?” He held his hands up as I smiled. “I’ll show you tomorrow.”

“I don’t think I can wait that long. Not after what you just did with your tongue.”

He laughed. “That turned you on, didn’t it?”

“Put it this way. I was close to making a mess in your mom’s truck.”

“Wow, that’s cool. I would like to have seen that.”

“You would’ve been the one cleaning it up,” I said, pushing him away. “With your tongue!”

I watched his face for a reaction, but Conner looked unconcerned by the thought of such a task. If anything, I got the impression he might actually enjoy it. I was forced, once more, to re-evaluate my boyfriend and raise my expectations up another notch.

He confirmed his promotion with another quick kiss and swipe of his tongue, causing more problems below. Conner pointed discreetly at it and giggled at his handiwork.

“It’s all your fault,” I said. “Now all your family will see it and think I’m some kind of sex monster.”

The suggestion made him laugh. “No, they’ll think you're a normal boy. But it’s going to be embarrassing for you.”

“No, shit.” I turned away from the house and put my hand down the front of my pants, but with Conner watching, there was no way it was going to go away. “Don’t look at me.”

He laughed. “I can help if you want.”

“Really, and how do you plan on doing that. You caused it, remember?”

“Let me try,” he said. “This usually works for me.” I was curious to see what he was going to do as he stood in front of me and looked into my eyes.

‘Hypnotism’?

“It isn’t working,” I laughed but made no attempt to push him away.

“I’m not finished yet. Trust me, you’ll enjoy the next bit.” Then after one more lingering kiss, he teased me with an erotic grin, before dropping to his knees.

‘You gotta be kidding me’.

“Conner!”

As his fingers found the top button of my pants, I twisted my neck, trying to look behind me at the house. We were totally exposed. Even in the semi-dark, we could easily be seen if someone came outside.

“Conner! I don’t think this is a good idea.” I turned back just in time to see him drop a handful of snow down the front of my pants.

I jumped back holding my crotch as my boyfriend sat in the snow roaring of laughter.

“Is that better?”

“Yikes! You bastard, you froze my dick.” I pulled my zipper down and reached into my pants, but most of the snow had already disappeared down my legs and was melting against my skin.

I was hopping up and down, trying to shake what was left out of the bottom of my pants, when Rebecca came out to find out what was keeping us. I smiled embarrassingly at her as I fastened my top button.

“I don’t wanna know what you guys were doing, but everyone’s waiting to see you,” she said.

My penis—moments earlier a throbbing monster—was now in a state of hibernation; cold, shrivelled and tucked away inside wet briefs. It was a remarkable transformation, but I wasn’t sure if it was a result of the snow Conner shoved down there or the unpleasant thought of meeting his family.

“Come on,” said Conner. “Let’s get you inside before the rest of you freezes.” He was still chuckling as he grabbed my bag from the car. “You look like you peed yourself, but it’s better than walking in with a boner.”

I begrudgingly had to agree and be pleased it still worked.

I had Nicola and her Viagra to thank for that, and she put them in my bag for me just in case. Her gift to me earlier was a book on male sexual health, which I embarrassingly hid downstairs in my room. My sister and sex was another combination that didn’t mix.

We followed Rebecca around the side of the house to an unassuming entrance next to a brightly lit bay window. She held the door open and looked curiously at the wet patch around my crotch, before welcoming me with a sloppy kiss and a firm hug. She was the reason I met Conner in the first place, after introducing herself in the line-up for the cinema. It was the night I split with Nathan, and for the first time in ages, I wasn’t thinking about my ex-boyfriend.

Conner had my undivided attention as he took my hand and led me into the kitchen where most of his family had gathered to await my arrival. There were several kids of various ages surrounding us, and Conner grabbed one of them by the arm and pulled him over.

“This is my brother, Dylan. He’s twelve and a pest. That’s all you need to know.” His brother frowned at him as he shook my hand. It was easy to see the resemblance.

“You're English, right?”

“Kind of.”

“Cool. Do you play soccer?”

“Sometimes.”

“Did you pee your pants?”

“No,” said Conner. “I shoved snow down the front of them.”

Dylan pulled a funny face exactly like his brother, who pushed him aside to introduce me to his uncle and aunt. They had driven up from Vermont the day before with their two children, a girl who was only a month older than me, and her fourteen-year-old inquisitive brother, Erin.

“Are you his boyfriend?” he asked, pointing at Conner.

“Yes, he is. That’s okay with you, isn’t it?”

His cousin shrugged his shoulders like he wasn’t bothered and looked down at our joined hands. “Do you guys make out?”

I wasn’t comfortable being questioned by a teenager only a little younger than me, but Conner wasn’t fazed and made a joke of his answer.

“Occasionally, when he lets me,” he said. Erin smiled before hitting him with a real dandy.

“Do you sleep together?”

His dad told him off, but Conner insisted on answering the question.

“Not yet,” he said with a smile.

“Why don’t you ask him that tomorrow?” said the boy’s sister. I cringed, but everyone else laughed.

It was an example of how topics were handled in their family. Everyone there knew we were gay, even the younger kids who showed no interest. Erin was curious because of his age, but he wasn’t rude and didn’t look bothered by the thought of us kissing, like some guys.

Despite all their efforts to make me feel at home, I was still uncomfortable and a bit overawed by the attention.

“They’re just pleased to finally meet you,” said Conner. “I’ve been telling them about you for months. My dad was convinced you were a figment of my imagination. Now I can prove him wrong.”

“Where is he?”

“Your father’s in the living room, Conner,” said his mom. “Take Robbie in there.”

Conner took my hand, but this time I pulled it away. I didn’t want to be holding hands when meeting his dad.

“It’s okay,” said Conner. “We can go upstairs after and relax in my room, just the two of us.” I found that suggestion amusing. The one thing we definitely wouldn’t be doing in his room was relaxing.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I expected to be a frosty encounter. Dads were usually overbearing, suspicious, and difficult to please. I imagined he would be cordial, but quietly resentful of his son’s choice in partner.

‘He would probably prefer it if I was a girl’.

The living room was dark and quiet. In the centre was a big log fire that crackled and spat flames into a stone chimney, and standing in front of it was a tall, stocky man with a blond beard that was no more than stubble.

Conner’s dad looked quite rugged, and nothing like I imagined. He had big strong hands and a heavily wrinkled face perhaps from years of working outside, but he was surprisingly softly spoken.

“I hope you brought plenty of warm clothes,” he said. “It gets cold at night in this house.”

Conner failed to mention this, and I was so used to our temperature-controlled house, I didn’t think to ask.

He put his arm around me and kissed me on the cheek. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm.”

I was more concerned about his dad’s reaction to his display of affection. I still found it difficult to believe he wouldn’t object to his son openly flaunting his sexuality, but he seemed more interested in my English accent. We talked for a while about my move to Canada, before slipping almost inevitably into soccer and England’s untimely exit from the World Cup, beaten again by the Germans.

His dad was funny, with a dry sense of humour and an accent that was more pronounced than his wife’s.

“You have presents to open,” he said, pointing across the room at another Christmas tree with three un-wrapped presents beneath it. There was one each for Rory and me from Conner’s parents, and a gift from Conner to me, which I opened first.

Inside was a pair of fleece pyjamas and some thermal underwear. “I hope they’re not too big for you,” said Conner. “I got large.”

“Nothing you got is too big for me, Conner,” I joked, then went red when I realised his dad was standing behind me. He pretended not to hear as Conner snickered.

“You’ll need pyjamas in this house,” said his dad. I wasn’t so sure, and when I looked at Conner, he was trying not to laugh.

“Try them on,” he said. “I bet you look cute in them.”

“I think I’ll wait to I go to bed,” I said then looked at his dad, as if asking his permission, before kissing Conner quickly on the cheek. “Thanks. They look super-comfortable.”

It seemed like an odd gift considering what we planned on doing later. Conner had a grin as wide as his face, and I wondered if this was some kind of weird fetish. I hoped so. I didn’t want to be the only one.

‘Why else would he buy me pyjamas’?

His parents bought me a thick winter sweater, which I immediately put to use, dragging it over my head. His dad nodded his approval. Rory had the same, but he had disappeared somewhere with Rebecca.

“I got something for you too, Conner. It’s in my bag.” I ran to the front door to fetch his present and then watched his face as he opened it.

“Wow, these are so cool,” he said. “How did you know? Who’s your informer?”

“I just saw them and thought of you.”

“You thought of me when looking at a pair of track shoes? How did you know my size?”

“I’m very good with feet. I spend a lot of time studying them.”

“That’s weird,” said his cousin.

“Yeah, I know.”

My cheeks were burning, but I wasn’t sure if I was blushing or standing too close to the fire. Either way, I had to get out, and Conner’s dad came to my rescue. He stood behind us and put a hand on our shoulders.

“Conner, why don’t you show Robbie the barn,” he winked at his son. “And while you're there ….”

“I know.” My boyfriend groaned but relented. “Come on, I’ll show you my chopper.”

I was intrigued enough to get dressed up again and follow him through the kitchen to the back entrance. The barn wasn’t a barn at all, but a large metal structure with no windows and relatively few lights. It was where they stored the tractors and machinery and a handy place to keep firewood. There was a massive pile of logs stacked close to the entrance, but still a good two-minute walk to the house, and I could see why this wasn’t my boyfriend’s favourite chore.

Conner picked one of the smaller logs and stood it on its end on top of a block. Then grabbed an axe from the wall and split the log down the middle with what looked like a relatively tame swing.

“Do you wanna have a go?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Rory does it.”

I couldn’t imagine Rory swinging an axe. It seemed so out of character, but Conner was less of a surprise. He played football, so I knew he had to be fit, and he proved it by making short work of a dozen or so logs while I watched from the sidelines.

Despite the cold, he still managed to work up a sweat, but not as much as me. I would like to have seen him do that on a hot summers day without a shirt, and the thought made me giddy.

“You can start putting them in the wheelbarrow if you wanna give me a hand.” My hand was already busy, in my coat pocket working for the man and the resulting stiffness made it difficult to bend over and pick up logs.

I got the feeling Conner was putting on a bit of show for me, but he was worth encouraging, so I decided to play along.

“You're stronger than I thought,” I said, giving his bicep a quick squeeze through his coat. “Hmm, there’s a lot of muscle there.”

“I’ll show you later,” he said. “I got muscles in other places too.” He winked at me and rubbed the front of his pants, making it impossible for me to do any more work.

“I bet you have. So what’s back here then.” I needed to cool down, so I wandered off to explore the rest of the barn. He followed, scared I might hurt myself.

“Be careful, it’s a little dark to be looking around. It’s easier during the day.”

“But not as much fun,” I said, stopping in front of an expensive-looking tractor. It was much bigger up close than the ones I had seen on TV, or from the back of a car. There was another older one behind it and a lot of big shiny attachments.

“They’re being stored now for the winter, but I can take you for a ride in the spring,” said Conner.

“You drive this thing?”

“Sometimes. It’s pretty cool. Next year I’ll be driving it all the time. You could help me one day if you want?”

Farm work wasn’t something that particularly appealed to me. I was a city boy who was still having problems adjusting to Cobourg, but I decided to keep my options open.

I was impressed. Conner seemed to know exactly what he wanted in life and how he was going to get it.

“So is this what you wanna do? Follow your dad into farming,”

“No, I wanna play football for the Roughriders, but this might be a more realistic career option.”

“It’s cool that you got it all figured out. I mean you can still try to get into football, but if you don’t make it, you’ve got this to fall back on. Most kids don’t have that luxury.”

“I know I’m lucky,” he said. He closed the gap between us and put his arms around my waist. “I was pretty lucky to meet you.”

“You might change your mind when you get to know me better.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I dunno. Trouble seems to follow me around. I’m just warning you.”

He kissed me; pushing me back against the tractor. “I don’t care,” he said. “I’ll take my chances.” Then he whispered into my ear. “I wanna make love to you later, is that okay?”

I stared at him wide-eyed as he pressed himself against me. I thought it was an odd thing to say out of the blue.

“You mean here?”

“No, not here, silly.” He laughed and stepped back. “I said later. My parents don’t mind us having sex, but we’re only allowed to do it in my room with the door closed.”

I giggled nervously. “That’s so unfair of them.”

“You think?”

“NO! I’m joking, but it wouldn’t be much fun out here anyway.”

“I haven’t waited this long to do it in a freezing cold barn. My room’s not exactly a palace, and it gets cold at night, but it’s warm in bed, and we won't be disturbed.”

“Most parents wouldn’t allow their kids to have sex in the house, especially if they’re gay. So I guess you are pretty lucky.”

“And you too.”

“You're kidding, right? You really have no idea what my parents are like. Don is the total opposite of your dad. He won't even allow us to watch a movie that has a sex scene in it, and they’re actors. We have parental controls on the radio!”

Conner looked confused, but I was joking. “What I meant was you're lucky because you can stay here whenever you want. They won't mind. You could even move in if you wanted.”

I put my hands up and laughed. “Whoa, Slow down there, cowboy. We only just started kissing, and now you want me to move in. I haven’t even tried the goods yet.”

He was blushing. “You will soon don’t worry. I can get a little carried away sometimes. You need to tell me to put the brakes on.”

He had this cute, almost angelic expression which he could pull whenever he talked himself into trouble, and I found it irresistible. I was sure he could get whatever he wanted with that face, but I wasn’t quite ready to move in with him.

“That’s okay. I know it’s my fault why we haven’t got to know each other better.”

“We can start putting that right tonight.” He put his hand on the back of my neck and pulled me towards him for a kiss. “But you didn’t answer my question.”

“Which one?”

“I wanted to know if I can make love to you?”

Making love to me meant only one thing in my book, and he was pushing for my permission, so it had to be important.

‘I guess Rory was right after all’.

It wasn’t as if I hadn’t given it any thought. After getting the heads up from my friend, I thought about it a lot, without really reaching a conclusion. I kind of liked the idea of him being in control, which I didn’t always get with Nathan, but I was still a little hesitant after Alex.

I wanted to be clear we were reading from the same page, and there were times when I found it easier to just come out and say it.

“Are you asking if it’s okay to fuck me?” He wasn’t expecting me to be so direct. “I just wanna be sure we both know what’s gonna happen. I don’t like surprises.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“I don’t mind, but there are conditions. What I mean is, I’m not super experienced at it, so you're gonna have to take it easy.” I waited for him to say something.

‘Blimey, Conner help me out here’.

“I’m not into pain, okay? I need to use my backside for other things. Just so you know.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I would never hurt you.”

“Yeah, well, I had a bad experience with another guy. A friend of mine, or ex-friend, I should say, and he wasn’t so considerate.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t totally his fault either. I mean …. He was a little on the large side, that’s all.”

Conner giggled and blushed. “You don’t have to worry. I think I’m about average.”

“Okay, Mr Roughrider. But you don’t get in without a coat.”

He laughed. “That’s okay, I got plenty of those.”

I was hoping one was going to be enough, but I suppose there was no harm in being prepared, and my new boyfriend seemed to have all the bases covered. It was a little embarrassing having to talk about it like that, but I felt a lot more relaxed after. I thought it was a good idea to get it out of the way before it was too late.

I learned the hard way with Alex, and he was always at the back of my mind. It wasn’t just the assault, but the sex we had as well. I didn’t want to experience anything like that again.

“Oh, I forgot. You have to wear your football uniform.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh, with the helmet.”

“You want me to dress up in my football uniform to have sex?”

“Is it gonna be a problem? I am letting you go on top.”

“If it’s that important to you, then I suppose I could, but we don’t get to take the helmets home?”

I wasn’t too disappointed. “Okay, we can skip the helmet for now. It’ll probably get in the way anyway and prevent you from doing other things.” I winked at him and walked away. “Oh, and no socks. Other than that, though, we’re good to go.”

Poor Conner was way too serious. I think he really believed me, so I decided to keep it going and the fetish kind of took hold. It wasn’t the first time. In England, I used to get aroused whenever I saw Tom in an Arsenal shirt, so being banged in the butt by a barefoot Canadian football player was probably a natural progression.

*     *     *

I couldn’t imagine what reaction we would have got from Don and Sue’s family if I had walked around the house holding Conner’s hand and introducing him as my boyfriend. His family, though, offered us only kind words and encouragement. Everyone seemed to like Conner, even the people who weren’t supposed to, like his twin sister.

Rebecca found me in the basement, honing my video soccer skills against her younger brother. I was fed up of mingling with strangers, so I gave Conner the slip and noticed Dylan was playing the same game I bought Jamie.

“I don’t blame you,” she said. “My brother can be a little smothering at times.”

“I’m probably not the most social of guys,” I said as Dylan scored a goal. He jumped around the room, and his sister took his place next to me on the couch. “It was difficult today meeting loads of new people. I don’t know how Rory managed it.”

“He was really nervous when I first brought him home, but there weren’t this many people here.”

“Well, he’s definitely changed a lot since he met you. But I think it’s good.”

She was pleased to get my approval. “My parents are hoping you’ll be good for Conner. They’re worried because he spends a lot of time on his own and has no friends.”

“It must be difficult living out here.”

“I know, but where we used to live, he had Derrick, and they were inseparable. I think he misses him a lot.”

I thought immediately of Tom, the similarities were obvious. “I know how he feels, but if he still has feelings for this guy, then it’s gonna take time, and he has to resist the urge to contact him.”

“Like on Skype, you mean.” She raised her eyebrows and smiled.

“He told you that too?”

‘Is there anyone he doesn’t talk to’?

“Yes, of course. Don’t you talk to your sister?”

“I try not to, especially when it comes to stuff like that.”

“Stuff like what?” asked Dylan.

“It’s none of your business,” said Rebecca.

“Oh, you're probably talking about sex then.” Their brother was very precocious in a lovable kind of way, but I liked him, and he seemed to like me. “Robbie’s more fun than Derrick was,” he said. “He never played with me, and he was there all the time. Do you wanna play again?”

“Maybe tomorrow.”

“Are you staying here tonight?”

It was an awkward moment for me. “Yes, I can’t get home from here.”

“Cool. Are you sleeping in my brother’s room?”

Rebecca must have sensed my discomfort and came to my rescue.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime, Dylan?” He grumbled and turned on the television. “That always works,” she said, before lowering her voice. “Conner likes you, and he’s been looking forward to you staying over. It’s nice to see him have some fun for a change. I think he gets jealous when he sees me with Rory.”

“Me too,” I said.

She looked confused, so I smiled and looked away. Those words just seemed to come out on their own.

“Are you trying to steal my girlfriend?”

I glanced up to see Rory behind us.

‘Talk of the devil’.

“No,” said Dylan. “He’s gay, duh.”

“I think he was joking,” said Rebecca. As she stood up, she winked at me and whispered. “No pressure, but we’re expecting to see a smile on Conner’s face in the morning.”

It was nice to be so open, but at the same time, it made me feel like I was only there for one reason. Almost like a prostitute. My job was to please their son. Nothing more.

‘Maybe it was the only reason I was invited’.

*     *     *

When I went upstairs, Conner was helping his mom in the kitchen. There was a large selection of food and cakes. A mixture of North American and Swedish dishes, but no sit-down meal.

“In Sweden, they celebrate on Christmas Eve,” said his dad. “So you're a day late.” He laughed. “It’s a tradition we try to keep up, but it’s difficult after so many years living here. We’ve become Canadian.”

It was a familiar story in a country of immigrants. Rory’s parents were the same, and Fran’s too. Even Don was English, whereas I was born in Canada, and everyone considered me a foreigner.

When his dad left, I sat at the table for a while, watching Conner as he interacted with his cousins. The boy was rapidly growing on me, and I got a warm feeling whenever he looked at me and smiled.

Once again, I was surprised by Rory. “He’s pretty cool, isn’t he?”

“Who is?”

“The boy who you’ve been staring at for the past twenty minutes, duh.”

“Oh, him. Yeah, he’s okay. I guess.”

Rory laughed. “Have you been upstairs yet?”

“No.”

“I thought he would’ve shown you around by now.”

“Maybe later.”

“Oh, definitely later,” he said. “Rebecca took me upstairs the minute I walked in the door.”

I looked at Rory, shocked by what I thought he said.

“Are you saying …?”

He smiled at me and raised his eyebrows.

“What’s gotten into you? What happened to the innocent kid I used to hang around with?” I was genuinely shocked. Rory’s innocent looks were starting to fade. Washed away by a torrent of second-generation Swedish sex. “You mean, while I was meeting his family, you were upstairs banging Rebecca?”

“Keep it down.”

“It’s not me who needs to keep it down. Bloody hell, you’ve turned into a proper sex maniac. Are you trying to make up for lost time or something?”

“It’s not me,” he said. “It’s her, she can’t get enough. Who knows maybe Conner’s the same. They are twins, after all. I hope you're prepared.”

‘Prepared? How was I supposed to prepare’?

Maybe I should’ve been shoving things up there to loosen myself up a bit. I wasn’t sure how it worked, or even if it would work. My mind was suddenly swamped again with unpleasant memories of Alex, and I began having second thoughts. I was feeling a little queasy at the thought of being shafted all night by a sex-mad boy deprived of any action for six months.

Eating helped take my mind off it, and afterwards, I went downstairs with Conner to watch a movie, while the adults stayed upstairs drinking. The film was boring but I enjoyed sitting next to my boyfriend in the dark. He kept me warm in an increasingly cold house and I fell asleep snuggled into his shoulder.

He woke me when the movie finished. It was ten-thirty, and I was tired enough to go back to sleep, but Conner wanted me awake, so we could go to bed.

“We can use the back stairs,” he said, and I was relieved he didn’t want to announce our departure to his family.

There was a secondary staircase to the upstairs behind a door in the kitchen. One of a few neat features in an interesting house. His sister was the only witness to our escape, and she held the door open for us while Conner dragged me up the stairs.

His room was basic and a little old-fashioned. Hardwood floors, a desk with a computer, a wardrobe, and a big metal-framed bed that took up most of the space. I fished something from my bag and went to relieve myself in the bathroom opposite, bumping into Rory and Rebecca in the narrow hall. They passed either side of me and kissed me on opposite cheeks before laughing and going into the next bedroom.

‘I think I just had a threesome with Rory and his girlfriend’.

When I returned, Conner was waiting by the door.

“It’s very tidy in here. I like that. My brother’s a slob, I’m always picking up his clothes from the floor.”

“I like tidy too,” he said as he pulled a crude bolt across the top of the door. “Better safe than sorry. We don’t want any of the kids walking in by mistake.”

It was cold, but his bed looked super comfortable with a large duvet that hung over both sides and touched the floor. I sat on the edge and bounced up and down a couple of times.

“It’s nice and big, and it doesn’t make a lot of noise either, that’s good.” I rubbed my hands together nervously, wondering why he wasn’t making a move. “And the frame’s nice and sturdy, not like the one upstairs at home. This one’s perfect for handcuffs.” I gave him a mischievous smile.

“Handcuffs? Are you into that kinda thing?”

“No, of course not, but I could always be persuaded if you ever wanted to give it a try.”

“Maybe another time, I haven’t got my head around the football thing yet.”

I laughed and gave the game away. “Sorry, that was just a joke. You don’t really have to wear that, not right away anyway.”

While I was talking nervously, he walked around the other side of the bed and climbed on top to kneel behind me. I turned my head, but he pointed it forward again and began massaging my shoulders.

“You need to relax, you're uptight, aren’t you? There’s no need. You're perfectly safe.”

He thumbed his way down my spine while I looked across the room at the bare window. “It’s a nice view. Not much point in having curtains is there. I mean there’s no one out there to see in any way.”

“Does that feel better?”

It felt great, and I melted into him, falling back onto the bed. “You're very good at that. You're a bit of an all-rounder, aren’t you? I reached up to lock my hands around his neck and pull him down for a kiss. He was the wrong way, and I was staring at his Adam’s apple, but it worked and when I felt his tongue in my mouth I speeded up, pressing my lips into his and grabbing fistfuls of his sweater.

“You're an eager beaver, aren’t you,” he said. “Before today I thought maybe you didn’t really like sex. Now, I can’t hold you back. What happened?”

He stood up and pulled me upright to face him. He was slightly taller than me and a bit wider.

“I’m allowed to get horny too,” I said, putting my hands against his chest.

“I’m not complaining. It’s turning me on seeing you so frisky. Do you wanna take off your shirt?”

I nodded and pulled my sweater and t-shirt off in one go, throwing them across the room.

“Are you always so obedient?”

“It depends on who I’m with; sometimes, I like being told what to do.”

Conner studied my chest and looked confused. “Would you like it if I told you what to do?”

“Probably. Why don’t you give it a go?”

He grinned and I kind of guessed what was coming next. I laid it on a plate for him, and when he noticed the extra-large bulge at the front of my pants, he couldn’t refuse.

“Okay, get naked for me.”

I was happy to follow his instructions and decided to keep it simple. I removed my socks and pushed my pants to my ankles before doing the same with my briefs.

Conner stared at my crotch and laughed.

I stood in front of him wearing nothing but a smile and a green and red Christmas decoration wrapped around my semi-erect penis. I thought it looked quite festive, and Conner agreed.

“What do you think?”

“Oh my God, it’s the best present ever. Can I keep it?”

I raised my eyebrows and stared at him. “You can borrow it for the night, but I’m gonna need it back in the morning.”

“I was talking about the decoration; it seems almost a shame to unwrap it.”

But he did.