The Cockney Canuck - 41. Chapter 41 The Hangover

When I woke, it was dark and I was disorientated. My mouth was parched, I was dehydrated and in need of another pee. My head was throbbing as I stumbled out of bed and tried to find my way around an unfamiliar room.

‘Where’s the bloody bathroom gone’?

I could barely see where I was going, so I felt my way along the wall until I came across the bathroom door and then fumbled for the light switch, covering my eyes against the sudden brightness. I took a leak and then cupped my hands to take a much needed drink from the cold water tap, finishing off with a splash to my face.

‘Bloody hell, I feel like shit’.

I wanted to go back to bed for a while; my body needed more sleep and more time to recover, but when I looked at my watch it was a quarter to three.

‘Fuck, I’m gonna be in so much trouble, shit, shit, shit, I need to go’.

I couldn’t work out how long I had been asleep for; a couple of hours, maybe less. Whatever it was, it was nowhere near enough as I walked, holding my head back into the darkened room to search for my clothes. I still felt light-headed and uneasy on my feet, but better than earlier. At least some of the alcohol in my system must have worn off, enough for me to be able to get home anyway and with any luck, sneak indoors without anyone noticing. I left the bathroom light on so that I was able to see my way around the room and that was when I noticed Fran, in the shadows, face down and sprawled out on top of the bed, still fully clothed. I didn’t want to wake her by switching on the bedroom light, so instead I felt my way around the side of the bed on my hands and knees, looking for items of clothing.

I found my jeans easy enough and my t-shirt, which had somehow made it over as far as the main door, but no socks. Eventually, frustrated in my search, I decided to abandon them and go barefoot to the front door where I had left my shoes. I carefully opened the door and slowly felt my way along the creaky hallway to the big staircase, where the light had been left on, enabling me to pick up a bit of speed. It didn’t sound as if there was anyone still awake, but I didn’t intend to find out or stick around any longer than necessary, as I stealthily made it to the front door. I wondered if I would ever see the inside of this house again, as I pulled on my sneakers and shut the door gently behind me.

‘I made it’.

I had already decided to call a cab and grabbed my phone from my back pocket as I stood under her front porch. It was cold outside and I was hit by a sharp gust of wind.

“Shit, I’ve left my jacket inside’.

It was downstairs in the kitchen, but the door was shut and there was no way back in without waking somebody up. I knew that Fran would return it, but my heart jumped when I realized that my money was in the inside pocket. I would either have to walk home, or get a cab and wake up Sue when I got there to grab some dosh. That would only get me into trouble for staying out so late and she would probably find out that I had been drinking. I still had my house keys in my pocket, so there was a good chance that I would be able to sneak in undetected and avoid the third degree, but I would have to walk.

‘Maybe it will sober me up. At least it’s not snowing anymore, a few months back and I would have been in real trouble. Probably froze to death or something’.

I usually enjoyed walking; no matter what time of day, but that night it was far from relaxing. Apart from being cold and still a little drunk, I had a monumental headache and felt dirty and sticky. I couldn’t wait to get indoors; so that I could peel off those grimy clothes and jump under a warm shower, but the journey was slow and painful. My whole body was aching from what had been a long day and I cursed aloud, as I made my way along the empty tree lined streets in the direction of a place that I still couldn’t quite think of as home.

I was getting to know this town quite well and had been there long enough to learn a few short cuts that you couldn’t take by car. There was a dirt trail off one of the main roads and if you followed this and jumped across a small creek, it would take you right up to the road that we lived on. I was just about to hit the trail when I heard a car approaching very slowly behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to see a Police patrol car, which then stopped a few yards in front and waited for me to catch up.

‘Fucking great; this is all I need’?

I looked towards the open window and as expected the officer beckoned me over.

“Where are you heading?” he said, looking at me suspiciously. He wasn’t that old, probably in his mid-thirties.

“Home,” I said curtly and trying not to look directly at him.

“And where’s that?”

“Taunton Road, at the top of the hill, is that a problem? I’ve done nothing wrong.”

“It’s a little late to be out walking,” he said. “Where have you been?”

I let out a sigh to show my displeasure and shook my head, which probably did me no favours.

“A friend’s house.”

“How old are you?” I was expecting that one.

“Fifteen,” I said.

“Have you been drinking?” I wasn’t expecting that one, but I probably should have.

“I’m not old enough,” I said and he grinned at my smart reply.

“I know that,” he said, “but that’s not what I asked.”

“No,” I said, but I didn’t expect him to believe me, or leave it at that.

“What were you doing at your friend’s house?” I just wanted to go home and he was delaying me even further.

“Nothing,” I said after a long pause, but it only made me look even more suspicious.

“Nothing eh, you look a bit of a mess, for someone doing nothing. Aren’t you cold?” He might have seen me shivering.

“Yes, can I go now, I need to go home?”

“Is that an English accent?”

‘This guy will go a long way in the Police force. He’s got detective written all over him’.

“Yes, I’m from England.”

“You on vacation?”

“No I live here; I go to Stephenson. Look I really need to get home. It’s already way past my curfew and I’m gonna be in trouble.”

“Okay,” he said, “get in the car,” and my heart skipped a beat.

“Are you arresting me?”

“No, I’m taking you home,” he said and smiled. “Hurry up I’m busy.” I couldn’t for the life of me think how he could have possibly been busy in that town at night, but I wasn’t about to turn down the offer of a ride home.

“Can I sit in the front?”

“Be my guest,” he said and I quickly scrambled in to sit beside him.

“Wow, this is really cool,” I said. Looking at all the gadgets took my mind off my predicament and cheered me up.

“So were you with your girlfriend tonight?” he asked. I wondered what had given me away, but it was something that I didn’t want to talk about.

“Yes,” I said, “can you switch on the siren?”

“No,” he said, “so what happened, did her folks come home or something?”

“No,” I said, leaning forward to look and touch the radio, “have you ever shot anyone?”

“No,” he said, “you’ll be the first if you touch anything else.” I quickly sat back in the seat and put my hands in my lap. “I’m guessing that whatever you were up to with your girl, you had to get dressed and leave in a hurry.”

‘Well done Columbo’.

“What makes you think that?” I said, but he had pretty much hit the nail on the head.

“You’ve got your t-shirt on inside out,” he laughed.

“Oh shit,” I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. “You’re right; I had to sneak out and it was dark when I got dressed. You won’t say anything to my…parents will you?”

He laughed. “I don’t need to talk to your parents, son, you’re not in any trouble. I was young too once…I know what it’s like.” He gave me a sickly smile, as if he was actually proud of me. I thought for a minute that he was going to pat me on the back or something.

He obviously thought that he had me all figured out and that I had been bonking my girlfriend and had to leave quickly to avoid being caught by her parents. I played along with this and tried not to breathe on him.

“Can you at least switch on the flashing lights?” I said, as he drove up the hill towards the house. It was a big mistake and I hadn't expected him to actually do it, but he obliged, if only to shut me up.

“Happy now?” he said, as we approached the top of the hill with the familiar red and blue lights flashing and bouncing off the walls, trees and fences. I asked him quickly to switch them off as I directed him to the house and he pulled onto the driveway.

“Thanks for the ride,” I said, getting out of the car.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“Robbie.”

“Okay Robbie, take it easy. No more walking around town in the middle of the night.” He waited until I reached the front door and I turned around to wave goodbye, but when I turned back the door had opened and there was Sue. She was standing in her dressing gown, with her arms folded and looking like she wanted some answers. To add to my misery, as I walked in I could see Nicola coming downstairs in her nightdress, looking over my shoulder at the departing police cruiser. This was everything that I didn’t need at that moment and at first I tried to deflect the obvious questions that were fired at me, by not answering. I was too tired and groggy to want to talk to anybody, let alone be interrogated.

“Are you okay?” asked Sue. “Where have you been and what were you doing in a police car?”

“It’s okay, I’m not in any trouble with the police,” I said, reluctantly offering an explanation, but it must have looked a little odd when I slipped off my shoes in the hallway.

“What happened to you?” asked Nicola looking down at my bare feet, “you look a mess.”

“Thanks, but there’s nothing wrong,” I said and I pushed my way past her into the living room, only for Sue to block my path to the stairs and the relative sanctuary of the basement. “Look, he was just giving me a ride home, that’s all.” She was never going to accept that and I knew it.

“Have you been fighting again,” asked Sue “you look terrible and where’s your jacket?” she looked me over and I backed away from her, conscious of her eyes studying me.

“No,” I replied.

“You’re supposed to be in at twelve Robbie, do you know what time it is?”

“Late?” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Yes, it’s nearly four o’clock, I’ve been worried. You should’ve called me at least. What have you been doing?”

Nicola rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You mean you can’t guess mom.”

“It’s none of your business,” I said to Nicola, “why don’t you go back to bed?”

“He’s been drinking mom.”

“I have not.”

“Have you Robbie?” asked Sue, she stepped closer and I continued to back away. “My God you smell like a brewery.”

“I told you,” said Nicola and I stared hard at her.

“I had one beer, but I spilled most of it down myself, okay? That’s what you can smell.”

“Yeah right,” said Nicola.

“Honey, you arrive home in a police car, at four in the morning, stinking of booze. I want some answers.”

“Can we talk in the morning please; I don’t feel that well and I need to lie down.” Sue shook her head despairingly, as I searched the floor, unwilling to offer up anything else. My head was thumping and I longed for the comfort of my warm bed.

“He is so drunk,” said Nicola and I had to stop myself from swinging at her.

“Can you tell her to leave me alone?” I said through gritted teeth.

“Your shirt is inside out,” she said and laughed, “what happened, did they come home unexpected?” I was sick of everybody jumping to that conclusion and had had more than enough of her snide remarks.

“FUCK OFF NICOLA,” I snapped and it was enough to finally test Sue’s patience.

“Go to your room Robbie. You don’t speak to anyone in this house like that, do you understand? I won’t allow it. We’ll talk about this in the morning.” I looked at Nicola and she was grinning at me, it made me hate her even more.

I was sure that my outburst would have woken up the rest of the house and as expected, the light upstairs went on and I looked up to see Don standing looking down at us from the balcony.

“Fine,” I said, as I made my way downstairs to avoid him and I could hear them all talking behind me. When I reached my room, Daniel was standing in the doorway in his boxers. He looked startled, but didn’t say anything, as I walked passed him, peeled off my t-shirt and jeans and jumped into bed.

* * * * *

I woke up late the next morning; lying face down and angled across the bed in just my briefs. The duvet was on the floor; my foot was hanging off one side and my arm over the other, as I lifted my head from the pillow to see if Daniel was up. His bed was empty and unmade and I could hear the sound of the television coming from the family room.

There was a light tap on the door, which I recognized immediately as Sue’s knock. I ignored it, hoping that she would go away, but after a few seconds, she came in and stood by the side of the bed. She had seen me in my underwear before and I made no attempt to cover myself or to look at her. I simply didn’t have the energy or will to move or even acknowledge her presence in the room.

“Robbie, it’s almost twelve.”

“I know.” There was a clock directly facing me on my nightstand.

“Are you going to get up today?”

“No.”

“Are you feeling okay?” I wanted to tell her the truth, I had never felt worse in my life, but I didn’t want to receive the full blown nurse treatment and the thought of having that bloody thermometer shoved in my cake hole again wasn’t appealing.

“Yes,” I muttered after some deliberation.

“Good, then you can get out of bed and join the rest of the family,” she said.

“What for?”

“Because you can’t stay in bed all day.”

‘Does this mean that I’m no longer in trouble for last night’?

“You told me to stay in my room,” I said lifting my head and looking at her for the first time since she had walked in.

“Well you can come out now,” she said, “we’ll talk about last night a little later and we want some answers from you, but first you can come upstairs and have some lunch with us.”

“No thanks, I’m not hungry.” I let my head fall back onto the pillow and closed my eyes.

“Come on honey, you have to get up now, at least put some clothes on.” I realized that I was fighting a losing battle; Sue could be as stubborn as I was, when she needed to be. I opened my eyes enough to see her pick up my t-shirt and smell it, which I thought was an odd thing to do. It must have stunk of sweat and beer and she screwed up her face as if to confirm this, before throwing it into the laundry basket in the corner of the room.

“What are you doing?” I asked as she held up my discarded jeans and began rummaging in the pockets. She pulled out my phone and placed it on my nightstand and then my keys, before finding a small folded piece of paper, which she carefully unwrapped in front of me. It was my GO train ticket from the day before and she gave me a reassuring smile as she realized.

“Okay, dressed, now!” she said.

“Argh, what the…” I stopped myself from swearing just in time, as I sat up on the bed, conscious of her stern expression. “Fine, I’m up. Happy now?”

“Good,” she said, “you’re learning,” but I could only moan as the sudden movement seemed to churn my stomach, making me feel sick.

“What were you looking for?” I asked as my jeans were tossed into the same laundry basket.

“I’m not sure Robbie, drugs maybe, I don’t know.”

“I don’t take drugs,” I said, “I had a couple of beers that’s all. Is that so bad?”

“You’re fifteen years old, that’s four years under the legal drinking age. Yes, that is bad and we won’t allow it, okay?”

“Okay,” I said holding my head in my hands, “I get it, it won’t happen again, I promise.”

“I’m sorry honey, but that isn’t gonna be good enough to get you off the hook this time,” she said and I lifted my head to look at her. Maybe I was hoping to spot a chink in her armour, that familiar look of pity that I had become so fond of. Something that I could exploit, to get me out of trouble, but her face was as cold as stone.

“What do you mean?”

“Well for a start you can go upstairs and apologize to Nicola,” she said and I looked at her as if she had lost her marbles.

“No way,” I said, “I’m not apologizing to her, she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you Robbie.”

“She does!”

“I want you to apologize to her, she didn’t deserve that last night. It upset her.”

“I didn’t do anything,” I said, “she’s not upset, she’s just saying that to get me in trouble, she’s a bitch.”

“DON’T TALK ABOUT YOUR SISTER LIKE THAT,” she yelled, making me jump and flinch.

“She’s not my sister,” I said calmly.

“I thought that you wanted to be a part of this family Robbie,” she said.

“I do.”

“Well you’re gonna have to start towing the line and obeying the rules like everyone else. I’ve talked to Don this morning and we’ve decided to ground you for the rest of the week.”

“What?”

“You heard me; you’re to come straight home from school and you’re not allowed out of the house until we tell you otherwise.” I stared at her in disbelief, I hadn’t expected them to actually punish me. Then I panicked.

‘Nathan. I’ll miss his birthday party. This will ruin everything’.

“No, you can’t do that Sue, please, not this week. I’ve made plans, I have to be somewhere.”

“You should’ve thought about that before coming home drunk at four in the morning,” she said and turned around to leave.

“I wasn’t drunk,” I said, but to no avail.

‘Not when I got home anyway’. If she had seen the state that I was in earlier, then I would probably have been grounded forever’.

“I’m sorry, but we have to do this.” She stopped in the doorway and I could see Daniel standing behind her. “Now are you coming upstairs for lunch?”

“No,” I said and fell back onto my bed, burying my head in my pillow. I began to sweat and could feel what little contents that were in my stomach rising to the surface. I’m not sure if it was the mention of food that did it or the sudden realization that I would be forced to miss out on an event that I had looking forward to more than I had let on to anyone. Whatever the reason; the result was a quick dash in my underwear to the bathroom, where I spent the next half an hour kneeling in front of the toilet bowl.

* * * * *

“It’s not much fun is it?” said Don as he took a seat next to me on the deck at the back of the house. I watched him from the corner of my eye, as he settled his large frame into the wooden slatted patio chair. I had been expecting this for most of the day and thankfully he had left it until late in the afternoon, long after I had finished throwing up and had slept through several episodes of ‘Friends’.

“What?” I asked, although I knew exactly what he was getting at.

“Alcohol poisoning,” he said with a wry smile and I lifted my sunglasses to give him a curious look. “That’s the reason why you’ve been sick, they call it a hangover, but it’s actually poisoning and your body’s reaction to too much of it. It’s not a good thing to do to your body, especially at your age. Drinking beer may seem like fun, but there’s a reason why the drinking age is nineteen here. Alcohol is as dangerous as most illegal drugs and it kills more people every year.”

“That’s because more people drink than do drugs,” I said, hoping to take the wind out of his sails.

“Granted,” he said, “but you’re missing the point. We don’t want to see you wreck your life Robbie and that’s exactly what drinking will do at your age. Not to mention the fact that it’s illegal and you could end up in serious trouble. I hear the police brought you home last night, do you wanna tell me what happened.”

“I was walking home; from Fran’s house and he stopped to question me, then he offered me a ride home,” I said. “I wasn’t in any trouble; you can call them if you don’t believe me.”

“I already have Robbie, the chief of police here is a friend of mine, he’s on the board of governors at the school. I called him this morning and there’s no record of you being stopped for any reason. My jaw was hanging open and my eyes wide in disbelief at what I was hearing.

“You called the chief of police, to find out if I was in trouble? I told Sue last night what happened, why didn’t you believe me?”

‘I don’t believe he did that; he has everybody spying on me. The principle, the chief of police, is there anyone in this town who he doesn’t know’?

“I didn’t have to tell you that Robbie; I told you because I want us to be open with each other and tell one another the truth. I had to be sure that you weren’t lying to me.”

“Well I wasn’t.”

“I know that now and I do trust you, but you still lied to that police officer and you were fortunate to get a ride home without him noticing that you had been drinking.”

“Do you want me to go and hand myself in?”

“No, and I don’t want sarcasm from you either, understand. I may not be your real father but I make the rules around here and like it or not, while you’re under this roof you have to follow them. I’m not making any more exceptions for you, okay?” I looked away towards the back of the garden and nodded, conscious of his stare. “Is that clear?”

“Yes,” I said, grim faced, without looking at him. There was a long and uncomfortable moment of silence where the only noise was of nearby birds chirping their evening songs. It was a nice sound to listen to, at least they were happy. “So am I still grounded?”

“Yes, Sue explained to you earlier….”

“Yeah, I just wondered…is there anything I can do to get out of this or maybe postpone it until next week?”

“Robbie, it’s supposed to be a punishment, I’m sorry if it inconveniences you in any way, but that’s the general idea.”

“Yeah, I get it…I had plans that’s all.”

“Well you had better cancel, because other than school, I want you indoors the whole week, understand?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry to have to do this, but we have to be fair,” he said. “I’ll be straight with you; it’s been a difficult time for us to too. We’ve been unsure about how to treat you. I know that it’s been less than six months since….’

“My mom died,” I finished his sentence for him. “It’s okay, you can say it out loud. I still say it to myself every day. It actually helps to talk about her you know.”

“Okay, I’ll bear that in mind,” he said. “You know, when she first called us to ask if we would be willing to take you in and adopt you, she made it clear to us that we were to treat you exactly the same as our natural kids. She didn’t want you to have any special privileges that would set you apart and cause resentment with the rest of the family. She thought that it would do you more harm than good. She made us promise this.” I could see that it was upsetting him to talk about it and he took a long breath to compose himself before continuing. “But it’s not been easy for us to do. We know that you’ve had a tough time of it and maybe we’re partly to blame for giving you a little too much freedom.”

“I didn’t ask you to feel sorry for me,” I said, sniffing and looking away from him.

“I know you didn’t,” he said, “but even so, we’ve let you get away with more than we should have and that needs to stop now, for your own good.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well for a start, we don’t think that it’s right for you to stay at Fran’s house anymore when her parents aren’t there. Last night proved that.”

‘I can handle that’.

“Okay, if that’s what you want, then I understand totally,” I said. I think that he was expecting a little more opposition to this new rule and wasn’t prepared for me to relent so easily. Hanging out at Fran’s house however, wasn’t exactly high on my list of priorities anymore and it was difficult for me to sound disappointed.

“Fine…and just to warn you, I’m gonna want to talk to her parents about this too,” he said.

“It wasn’t her fault, she didn’t get me drunk and we didn’t do anything like…you know, fooling around or anything. It’s the truth, she actually helped me.”

“So where did you get the beer from?” he asked.

“I helped myself, they were just there, her brother bought them, I think.”

“So you stole them?”

“No, it wasn’t like that. Look, please don’t get Fran involved. I don’t want her to get in any trouble, it was all my fault and I’m willing accept responsibility for what I did. I really am sorry; it won’t happen again. After today I honestly don’t wanna taste another drop of beer as long as I live.”

Don reached over, smiled and patted me reassuringly on the knee. “Okay, well it’s good that you’re able to admit to your mistakes and I can understand that you wanna protect your girlfriend. Maybe you’ll both learn from this experience.”

“So you won’t say anything?” I asked. I bit my lip and put my hands together in prayer to emphasize how much it meant.

He let out a long sigh. “Not this time no, but if it happens again….”

“It won’t,” I said, “I promise.”

“I believe you,” he said and then slowly stood up to leave, but as he made his way towards the house, I had one more question for him.

“Don, if alcohol is as bad as you say it is, then why do you help to advertise it?” I knew that he had worked on one of the campaigns for a Toronto based brewery and there was a recent poster hanging in his study.

He glanced back at me and smiled. “You’re a smart kid Robbie, too smart to want to throw your life away on booze. But to answer your question, I don’t make the rules in this world, but just like you, I have to follow them son.”

I turned back towards the garden grinning, pleased to have made my point.

‘I’m not your son’.

* * * * *

Later that evening, Sue made me a sandwich and some salad and sat me down at the table, making it clear to me, that I needed to eat it.

“It’ll make you feel better,” she said, “you have school tomorrow, don’t forget.”

“How can I forget?” I said picking at my food as Daniel walked in and sat down opposite.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Better thanks.”

“Did you really get drunk last night?” He had a cheeky grin plastered across his face and I returned it with a smile of my own.

“Wasted,” I said and we both giggled.

“Robbie, it’s nothing to be proud of and you shouldn’t be encouraging him either,” said Sue, turning her attention to Daniel. Our expressions turned serious after being reprimanded, but slowly the smiles returned and we smirked and giggled at each other as Sue returned to the kitchen.

“Do you want me to tell Nathan that you won’t be going to his birthday party?” he asked, bringing an end to the joviality and breaching a subject that I had been trying hard not to think about.

“No,” I said, “I’ll call him tomorrow. I think I’ve still got his number in my phone.”

“I don’t mind,” he said, “he’ll be cool about it,” but I somehow doubted if that would be the case. I told Daniel that I wanted to tell Nathan myself and asked him if he would keep it quiet, at least until I had a chance to talk to him. It wasn’t something that I was looking forward to doing and I couldn’t think of any way of explaining it that wouldn’t sound bad. As far as he was concerned, I was no longer seeing Fran, yet now I would have to tell him that I wasn’t allowed to go to his party because I had got drunk at her place on Saturday night and didn’t get home until four in the morning. There would be little point in trying to lie to him, as the truth was bound to surface the moment that Daniel was free to talk to his best friend. I also had Nicola and the school gossip machine to consider, so anything other than the absolute gospel would be suicidal for me and I had to admit, the truth didn’t sound all that convincing. I didn’t want him to think that I was trying to play him second fiddle to Fran, when nothing could have been further from the truth. I knew that I wouldn’t get much of a chance to speak to him alone in school, so I made up my mind to call him on Monday evening.

* * * * *

The next day, as expected Fran met me at my locker and handed over a carrier bag with my jacket and socks in it and I filled her in on what had happened after leaving her house.

“So are we gonna still be friends?” I asked.

“I really don’t know yet Robbie,” she said, “you gotta give me time. I like you, but you hurt me and I need time to get over that. You have to admit the whole thing is weird. I mean this kind of thing doesn’t happen to most people and I’m still finding it difficult to get my head around it.”

“I suppose it must seem a little odd to you.”

“A little?” She shook her head. “None of my friends would believe me if I told them.”

“Does that mean you won’t?” She must have seen the hopeful expression on my face as we approached homeroom.

“You want me to keep this a secret for you, don’t you?” she said.

“Fran, if I’m outed now, then my life is over, it’s as simple as that. It’ll get back to Don and Sue and I’m not ready for that. Please, just do me this one favour. I know you don’t hate me enough to hurt me like that.”

“I don’t hate you Robbie,” she said and she smiled as she reached over and pushed my hair from my eyes. “We’ll talk at lunch okay.” It was non-committal, but at least it didn’t look as if she wanted to be vindictive and that had to be a good thing.

At lunch, I saw my angel and waved across at him as he sat down with his usual friends and followers in the corner of the cafeteria. Fran was already there when I arrived, she was sitting with David and leafing over some paperwork, when I grabbed the chair opposite. They were talking in French, quite literally, and seemed to be discussing some kind of project. It was one of the few classes that I didn’t share with her and a subject that I wasn’t very good at either. I waited patiently, picking at my French fries, until they had finished.

“Thanks Fran,” he said and he got up to go, “I’ll leave you two love birds alone.”

“You don’t have to go,” she said, but he insisted that he had to talk to somebody else and I did little to encourage him to stay. I needed to talk to Fran alone and the moment that David walked away, I jumped in his seat to sit next to her.

“You’re not wasting any time,” I said jokingly.

She gave me a hard stare. “We’re working on a French project together,” she said and then she looked away and smiled at her food. “But I guess he is kinda cute, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know Fran; I’ve never thought about him in that way.” It was a bare faced lie, I had always regarded David as one of the hottest boys in our year, but there was no way that I was about to reveal that. She already had enough ammunition on me to sink a battleship and my main concern now was damage limitation. “If you like him then go for it, I don’t mind.”

“Nah,” she said, “I don’t think I want another boyfriend just yet.”

“Whatever,” I said, “Look Fran, I didn’t come over here to discuss your future love life.”

“I know that,” she said, “I know why you’re here and why you’re being so nice to me.” I didn’t think that I was being particularly nice to her or acting any different from usual, but I didn’t say anything, so maybe I was.

“I just wanna know whether or not you’re going to ruin my life, that’s all.”

She took a bite from her sandwich and kept me waiting, while she chewed for ages. My eyes never left her face.

“No Robbie, I’m not going to out you, if that’s what you mean, you can do that yourself when you’re ready. But I’m not gonna cover for you either, I’ve already told my friends that it’s over between us and you should do the same.” She must have sensed my relief as I let out a long sigh and smiled at her. “But if I ever find out that you’re dating another girl, then I’ll tell everyone.”

“That doesn’t make sense Fran,” I said and laughed.

‘If I date another girl, then nobody would believe her anyway’.

“I know,” she said and smiled at me awkwardly, as she helped herself to the rest of my fries. When she had finished, she stared at me and bit her bottom lip as if she were hatching a plan. “I’m gonna want something in return.”

I had been expecting some kind of demand or compensation. “I don’t mind,” I said, “whatever it is, just name your price.”

“I don’t want money, stupid,” she said and then smirked as she pushed my plate away.

“What then?” I said and I waited as she giggled to herself.

“You’re gonna think this is weird,” she said.

“No I won’t, promise.”

“Yes you will.”

“Are you gonna tell me or not?” I shook my head as she composed herself. “You’re a master of suspense, you know that. You should get a job as a game show host.”

“I wanna finish the painting that I started of you.”

“You want me to model for you?”

“Yes,” she said, before leaning over to whisper, “in the nude.”

“That’s weird!”

“Told you,” she said.

“No way,” I said, “I won’t do it, it’s not right.”

“You only have to pose; I won’t touch you.”

“Fran no!”

“That’s my price,” she said, “take it or leave it.”

“Geez, you’re crazy you know that.”

“Come on Robbie, stop being such a prude,” she said, “you only have to take your clothes off for a couple of hours. I’m not asking you to run naked around the block, it’ll just be me and you.”

“That’s what scares me.”

“I know you’re not shy, I’ve already seen everything you have to offer.”

“Well can’t you paint me from memory then?”

“No, I can’t, besides, I wouldn’t want to get it wrong and make you look too small.” She laughed.

“You’re really serious about this aren’t you?” I said.

“Absolutely.”

“Why don’t you ask David?”

“Yeah, like he’s really gonna agree to that. I would probably have to sleep with him first.”

“Kill two birds, with one stone,” I muttered.

“Not funny,” she said, “so do we have a deal?” She put her hand out for me to shake, as if we had just concluded some kind of business deal and I laughed. As odd a proposition as it sounded, I also found it kind of flattering and strangely appealing, although I wasn’t sure why. All things considered, it was also a relatively small price to pay for her solidarity.

“Look I’ll do it okay, if you promise not to show it to anyone.” It was a condition that I wasn’t expecting her to accept. I mean, what would be the point in putting all that time and effort into something that nobody could see.

“It’s only going to be a painting,” she countered, “it’s art and I promise it’ll be tasteful, not pornographic. I don’t know why you’re so worried.”

“Okay, but you have to keep your end of the deal?”

“You have my word,” she said and we shook hands.

“You’re crazy.”

“I’m an artist,” she said.

“It’ll have to wait until I’m no longer grounded and I’m not allowed to go to your house unless your parents are home.”

“You’ll have to lie,” she said, “there’s no way that I’m gonna have you naked in my room when my parents are there. How long are you grounded for?”

“Until I apologize to Nicola, or die of old age, whichever comes first,” I said.

“You’re stubborn.”

“Oh yeah, it runs in the family.” I could see her friend, Laura, approaching the table and I took this as a cue to wrap up our conversation. As she sat down, she seemed surprised to see us talking and sharing a table. I thought it best not to hang around, confident that for the time being at least, I was still able to walk the halls of Stephenson without being labelled a queer. The uneasy pact and highly unusual terms that I had agreed with my ex-girlfriend, had likely ensured my closet status for at least a little while longer. Until people began to notice my obsession and friendship with Cobourg’s best known teenage gay boy.