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RIP - Comicality
    Drew Payne
  • Drew Payne
  • Author
  • 05/09/2019
  • 856 Words
  • 2,120 Views
  • 17 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

His Story - 1. Round One.

I woke up with a start; there was something wrong in my bedroom. It was already light, but it was a Saturday morning in summer, so that was to be expected. I turned my head on the pillow and saw him, saw what was different. Someone was sharing my bed, someone warm and handsome.

He had dark-red hair that spiked every different way. His chin was covered in dark-red stubble. Even asleep he was attractive, but I couldn’t remember his name – shit, what was it?

I’d met him the night before. I’ve always had a distrust of phone apps and their quick rejection; I prefer to be at least rejected in person so I’d had a night of bar-hopping in Soho, and I’d met him in The Bar Code, the new bar off Berwick Street. From The Bar Code we’d gone onto three other places; I didn’t remember which ones because I was more interested in him. Sometime before midnight, we’d come here in a taxi, that little luxury before pleasure. Once inside, he was all over me as soon as I had the front door shut; he was kissing me and groping me and pressing our bodies close together. We only had just got into my bedroom before we had each other’s clothes off.

The sex wasn’t bad; it wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad, either. He kissed me during sex and reciprocated everything I did, move for move, not just lying there and letting me do all the sexual work. He did stay the night, and I was glad of that. I hate it when a guy just up and leaves as soon as the sex is over, when the guy leaves in the middle of the night and I’m left on my own to try to find sleep. At least, he stayed and slept with me.

Shawn, his name was Shawn; finally, I remembered as I woke from sleep.

I lay there and looked at him as he slept, I know it was borderline obsessive, but he was so attractive even asleep. Someone like him had wanted me, and I couldn’t let him simply go; I had to see him again; I had to have a chance.

He let out a small groan in his sleep, and the next moment he was awake, as easily as turning on a switch, and he was looking at me with bright-green eyes.

“God… Oh sorry, morning,” he said as he woke up.

“Hi, Shawn,” I said.

“Yeah, right,” he said as he pushed himself up in bed. “It’s Chris, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Do you want some breakfast?” I said as I sat up.

I glanced over at his chest. His nipples were large, so prominent against his chest, and around them swirled a thin coating of red hairs. These faded out below his pecs, leaving his stomach bare. His flat stomach was plainly on display, lightly creased with muscles. He had the kind of chest and stomach I wanted to kiss my way down, brushing my lips over his smooth skin—which I’d done the night before and now I wanted to do again.

“No, I’ve got to go now,” he said.

“But its Saturday morning. Stay for a bit.”

“I’ve got work today. I’ve got to get ready,” Then he got out of bed and walked naked across my bedroom to where his clothes lay. “Did you see where my pants got to?” he asked as he bent over his clothes.

“Aren’t they there with your jeans?”

As he searched for his underwear, I just sat and watched him. I had an unobstructed view of his buttocks, and for a shameless moment I just stared. His buttocks were round, pert and ready. As he bent forward, their curves parted, and I glimpsed a hint of red hairs in the valley between them. It looked so inviting, a sudden, hidden part of him on display, even for the briefest of moments.

“Just stay for a bit; I can get us some breakfast,” I said.

“I’ve got to go,” he said, not looking back at me.

Then he pulled on his underwear, covering his nudity. He quickly got dressed in silence with his back still to me, and I just sat and watched as his body was rapidly hidden away from me

Finally, fully dressed he turned back to me.

“You’re okay, your stomach needs some work on it, but you’re too fucking needy for me. I don’t do that… I’ll let myself out,” he said, and then he was gone, out of my bedroom door. A moment later I heard my flat’s front door slam shut. He hadn’t even touched me before he left.

I fell back onto my bed; I wouldn’t get up for hours now, as disappointment again took over me. I hated when this happened, when I tried to connect with a guy and only got brushed off. What had I done wrong? Shawn and I had sex, we’d been as intimate as we could be, but he couldn’t wait to get away from me. I hated times like this.

Copyright © 2019 Drew Payne; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

Parker Owens

You described the hurt of rejection so well; the hope and then the crash. Shawn was brutally honest, but since when did honesty have to be brutal? Chris is going to be back in his shell for a long while. 

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Drew Payne
30 minutes ago, Parker Owens said:

You described the hurt of rejection so well; the hope and then the crash. Shawn was brutally honest, but since when did honesty have to be brutal? Chris is going to be back in his shell for a long while. 

Thanks for the feedback, that crushing rejection was what I was after. I created Shawn as one of those people who justify their crushing, brutal honest by saying that it's there to "help" people, whereas it's just said to be cruel.

Wait until you read the next parts of the story, it'll explain Chris's almost unrealistic hope here.

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Parker Owens
26 minutes ago, Drew Payne said:

Thanks for the feedback, that crushing rejection was what I was after. I created Shawn as one of those people who justify their crushing, brutal honest by saying that it's there to "help" people, whereas it's just said to be cruel.

Wait until you read the next parts of the story, it'll explain Chris's almost unrealistic hope here.

I understand the experience. 

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Defiance19

I mean it’s ok to not want to do repeats or to have the night not be what you thought. But to hurt someone like that? Why? Sigh.. 

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Drew Payne
20 hours ago, Defiance19 said:

I mean it’s ok to not want to do repeats or to have the night not be what you thought. But to hurt someone like that? Why? Sigh.. 

He's one of those a-holes who like to hurt others to make themselves feel better. He's a bit of literary revenge. In my twenties, I had a one-night-stand with a guy who made me feel like shit the next morning. I also need the reader to see how vulnerable Chris, the narrator, is.

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Timothy M.

From the last part it seems this has happened to Chris before. Maybe he should stop hunting for a boyfriend via one-night-stands, it rarely works. Shawn may have been gruff in his warning about the needy vibes, but there is rarely a good way to do it. At least Chris now knows what the problem is and can work on building a life where he doesn't only consider himself worth anything via the approval of others.

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Drew Payne
18 minutes ago, Timothy M. said:

From the last part it seems this has happened to Chris before. Maybe he should stop hunting for a boyfriend via one-night-stands, it rarely works. Shawn may have been gruff in his warning about the needy vibes, but there is rarely a good way to do it. At least Chris now knows what the problem is and can work on building a life where he doesn't only consider himself worth anything via the approval of others.

Oh dear, wait until you read the other parts. I'm afraid it has to take a lot more to help Chris. The other parts of this story will explain why and how he is so screwed up.

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lomax61

Good start. Love the harsh realism behind the scene, but I also can’t help but admire Chris aspiring to more that a one-nighter. Shawn, although typical, is never going meet his match, and if he ever gets close, the person will probably reject him, citing their own list of physical and emotional prerequisites. Good job.

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Drew Payne
14 hours ago, lomax61 said:

Good start. Love the harsh realism behind the scene, but I also can’t help but admire Chris aspiring to more that a one-nighter. Shawn, although typical, is never going meet his match, and if he ever gets close, the person will probably reject him, citing their own list of physical and emotional prerequisites. Good job.

Thank you, I always worry about my writing. Your feedback is very welcome.

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Marty

Marty 41,648

Posted (edited)

A very realistic, if somewhat sad, first chapter. The sense of rejection was almost palpable. I can remember several times in my younger days when similar things happened to me. The one that probably really cut me to the bone was when I simply asked one guy if I could see him again, and his "God, no! I'm just looking for hookups. If you're looking for love, you'll need to look elsewhere," reply as he walked away from me, stays with me to this day.

The "I couldn't remember his name" thought near the start of the chapter, when Chris found Shawn sharing his bed the next morning, also reminded me of similar occasions from my own dim and distant past. I'm reminiscing about things from around half a century ago here, but it seems from reading this chapter that some things haven't necessarily changed all that much in the interim. :unsure2:

Fingers crossed that Chris does finally find what he's looking for. I hope he doesn't actually stop looking. To quote a line from one of Bette Midler's songs ("The Rose"): "It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance."

:thumbup:

Edited by Marty
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Drew Payne
1 hour ago, Marty said:

A very realistic, if somewhat sad, first chapter. The sense of rejection was almost palpable. I can remember several times in my younger days when similar things happened to me. The one that probably really cut me to the bone was when I simply asked one guy if I could see him again, and his "God, no! I'm just looking for hookups. If you're looking for love, you'll need to look elsewhere," reply as he walked away from me, stays with me to this day.

The "I couldn't remember his name" thought near the start of the chapter, when Chris found Shawn sharing his bed the next morning, also reminded me of similar occasions from my own dim and distant past. I'm reminiscing about things from around half a century ago here, but it seems from reading this chapter that some things haven't necessarily changed all that much in the interim. :unsure2:

Fingers crossed that Chris does finally find what he's looking for. I hope he doesn't actually stop looking. To quote a line from one of Bette Midler's songs ("The Rose"): "It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance."

:thumbup:

Thanks for your feedback, and wow you got all the things I was aiming for. That endless and often misguided search for love, in all the wrong places. I wanted to get that down/depression of a failed attempt to connect.

I don't want to give too much away, I don't give the reader an easy ride with this story, but sometimes the things we need are not always the things we tell ourselves we want.

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Marty

Yes, please don't give anything away! It would only take away the anticipation I get from reading the chapters. :)

And, as for wants and needs, I am often telling my younger friends and relatives how important it is for them to understand the difference between the two.

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Drew Payne

As the great Professor River Song said:

"Spoilers sweetie, spoilers."

As for wants and needs. If everyone knew the difference between them, what would we have to write about?

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Marty

I think it's also important sometimes to know the difference between what you may want and what you actually deserve. I have been known sometimes to write something like "I hope you get what you want, and not what you deserve" on Christmas cards to some of my friends. 😃

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Drew Payne
59 minutes ago, Marty said:

I think it's also important sometimes to know the difference between what you may want and what you actually deserve. I have been known sometimes to write something like "I hope you get what you want, and not what you deserve" on Christmas cards to some of my friends. 😃

There are so many people out there who don't get what they deserve, who get a lot better than they deserve.

I really want to believe in natural justice but I really don't know.

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Aditus

There's a fine line between honesty and rudeness. After reading this chapter,  I felt bad for Chris. However, Shawn might have his own experiences that lead to his behavior.  I will definitely read on. Thanks.

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Drew Payne
34 minutes ago, aditus said:

There's a fine line between honesty and rudeness. After reading this chapter,  I felt bad for Chris. However, Shawn might have his own experiences that lead to his behavior.  I will definitely read on. Thanks.

Thanks, please do keep reading.

This opening part is to set up one part of Chris's personality, his need for a relationship. The following parts explain more about him.

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