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    Headstall
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.

Morningstar: The Malaise - 14. Chapter 14 Collars

Game faces.

Morningstar: The Malaise

 

 

Chapter 14

 

 

After another hug from the captivating Miss Sybil, and a promise to visit again sometime in the future, Kellar was able to take his leave. Standing outside the door, his eyes swiveled to the man at the picnic table. Tobyn met them with troubled ones of his own. “How was your talk… are you glad you listened to me?” A weak smile followed.

“It was… informative. You were so right about the lady being awesome.” He watched closely as the blond man rose from his seat and walked over to him. “Are you doing okay, buddy?”

“Yeah, sure. Why?” Tobyn looked away, and Kellar could see him swallow.

“I don’t know. You seem down or something. Did I do anything wrong?”

“No, of course not. I’m just in a weird mood. Whatever's going on with me, I’m pretty sure I disappointed the boys when I didn’t want to kick the ball around.”

“Why didn’t you? I thought you liked soccer?”

“I do and I… I have no idea. I’m feeling unsettled… I just wanted to sit for a while, and think.”

“Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?”

“Thinking.” Kellar laughed at the same time he dodged the punch aimed at his arm.

Tobyn laughed too. “Unfortunately, I must admit it did a little.” His laughter soon dwindled to nothing.

“Do you want to let me in on what’s got you… unsettled?” Was this more proof of what he and Miss Sybil suspected?

“I would, but I don’t even know myself. Just a little bit of everything. My brain keeps going in circles and I can’t seem to focus. Anyway, don’t worry about it. Come on. Let’s go get my truck so we can check out the marina. You’re going to love it.”

Kellar knew avoidance when he saw it. This was all going to turn out to be one hell of a kick in the teeth. “I’m sure I will, but what about the kids? I thought I was healing Dane’s tonsils and checking out the rest of them.”

“You are. Dane and Mace are rounding the others up and getting their parents’ permission. Everyone’s heard of what you did by now, so it’s just a formality. They’re going to meet us at our place in a couple of hours. Is that all right with you?”

Our place? It sure had a nice ring to it, even if it wasn’t accurate. “Sure.” They walked a little further along the quiet road before Kellar decided to speak again. “Can I ask you something?”

Tobyn looked wary as he responded. “I guess.”

There was no missing the man’s reluctance to talk, but Kellar was trying to piece things together, so he forged ahead anyway. “When you were first talking to the boys, when I was alone with Miss Sybil, you looked upset. I was just wondering… were you worried about the kids? I could see you through the window.”

Tobyn’s eyes darted towards him and then away, but the question was initially met with silence. Kellar was beginning to regret pushing when Tobyn finally cleared his throat and answered. “No, I wasn’t worried once you told me Dane’s tonsils were no big deal. I’m not even sure what was wrong. Like I said, I was feeling out of sorts. I think I’m letting the magnitude of what’s happening to the pack get to me.” He cleared his throat one more time, and this time he sounded nervous. “And then there’s you feeling the need to leave, and I guess I’m still processing. I’m only bringing it up because you asked. I told you I understand and I do, and I respect your decision. I’m feeling better now, so no worries. I needed some time to work through it and chill, and I have.”

“Good to hear. Sorry, I didn’t want to pester you, but I don’t like seeing someone ‘out of sorts.’ It brings out the healer in me.” He grinned, and Tobyn matched it.

“You didn’t pester me, and I’m fine… you can take that healer’s hat of yours off, okay, doc?”

“Consider it removed.” Kellar had found out more of what he’d been searching for, but he wasn’t sure how it helped him. In the end, knowing could just pile on more pain.

 

                                                                      ***********************************************************************

 

Tobyn watched the big man walk ahead of him as they neared the rear of the truck, and for a split second, unseen, he let his guard down. Running a hand over his face, he swallowed. Kellar’s questions poked the dragon a little more, and he had to face how not saying what was on his mind was frustrating the hell out of him. The subtle acknowledgements he’d given with regards to his feelings fell far short of what he struggled to hold back. He knew exactly what had been bothering him. He was crushing on the big man in the worst way, and it seemed to get bigger by the minute… hell… by the second.

It was wearing on him to be around the guy who made his palms sweat and his heart race, but he was finding it even harder not to be near him. He’d felt the loss the minute he left him with Sybil. Walking toward the boys and away from Kellar had caused all his emotions to churn. The fact was, he was a fucking mess.

How in hell could he accept being gay, when he had a family life planned out with Tilly? They’d spoken of it in general terms for years, and time was closing in on them. His responsibility had to be to the pack, and ultimately, its survival. And yet, images of him and Kellar entwined, making love, refused to go away. Christ, it was all so fucking complicated, and as much as he wanted to open up and discuss how he felt, he knew it would be unfair to the big-hearted man. I have these massive feelings for you, but… arghhh.

He dreaded Kellar leaving the day after tomorrow, yet, at the same time, he expected things would get easier… for both of them. Being apart might turn out to be for the best. Just letting that thought come to the surface caused something to wither within, but at some point, he had to believe the healer would return. Hopefully, they’d have a better handle on all these feelings by then. Tobyn refused to entertain the notion they couldn’t have a friendship. Separation had to be temporary.

He’d always planned to carry out his mission alone, so that was what he would do. Someone, somewhere, would have answers, and he was determined to find them. In the meantime, he could handle this. It was a situation he’d never envisioned for himself, but Kellar had already done great things for Morningstar, and now he’d made the choice to leave. Tobyn needed to accept it… and he would put up a good front for his friend, because he owed him that. He was the reason for his impending departure, after all. The pack would have a healer a few hours away. That was so much more than they had two days ago. Releasing a deep but muted sigh before he opened the driver’s side door, he put on his game face and climbed in.

The hardest part was when Kellar looked at him. He saw interest and devotion in those eyes every time. He also saw glimpses of the poorly-concealed pain, at least to him, and it devastated Tobyn to be the one causing it. Knowing the handsome guy was crushing on him just as strongly, and that he was attainable, made it excruciating to stay the course. The big man was doing it right now as they drove down his road. Oh, he tried to conceal it, but Tobyn knew. There was this connection between them that made it impossible to hide much of anything. He was fast becoming a believer in love at first sight, and that was a train of thought he couldn’t dwell on. But, it was love he felt, wasn’t it? Yeah. Fuck. Sometimes, life really sucked.

“So, did you get all you needed from Miss Sybil?”

“I’d say I learned more than I thought I would. Finding out there is a healer bloodline was mind-blowing, but the more I learn, the more questions I have.”

Tobyn was needing easy conversation. He had to stop his mind from going in circles that featured Kellar in the middle of them. “Such as? Maybe I can help answer some of them.”

Kellar glanced over with an amused expression as Tobyn turned on the road to the marina. “Were-wolf movies?”

He welcomed the chance to laugh. “What the hell do you want to know about those god-awful things?”

“How they came to be, I guess. Was there any basis for them? Like, did any of us ever go on blood-thirsty rampages as wolves?”

“God, no. Is that a serious question?”

Kellar chuckled. “No, not really. Miss Sybil told me about the hunters of our kind, so I guess my real question is whether you think it’s the way humans would see shifters if they learned we actually existed? Would they consider us crazed beasts that would tear them apart and eat them, or turn them into monsters?”

It was clear to Tobyn the inquisitive healer part of Kellar was engaged. “I’m not entirely sure. It’s a good question, though. I could be wrong, but I think it would be the end of us if the human race did find out. Maybe the majority would be fine, but there would always be those who saw us as aberrations, and try to wipe us out. From what I understand, those hunter groups looked at us as vermin who needed to be exterminated. It was their mission, and they used religion to justify our persecution and slaughter. We were supposed agents of the devil, or some ridiculous shit like that.”

“Humans have a habit of doing that, don’t they? Using religion as a reason to be cruel. You talk like they’re part of the past. Do you think these hunters still exist?”

“Honestly, I would like to believe they are no longer out there, but that would be putting my head in the sand. All I know is we should always be on our guard. I don’t think they’re the scourge they once were, but I could be wrong. We’ve had shifters disappear without a trace over the years, and Esther’s murder was deliberate. Whoever killed her knew what they were doing. I know Fendral was always looking for some scent he detected from that day.”

“I can’t imagine the man’s pain. Sybil told me quite a bit about earth mates.”

Tobyn grimaced, and blew out a long breath. It was a sore subject for most shifters. “I think it’s good they’re a thing of the past. I don’t believe it’s beneficial to be so tied to another person.”

“Why?” Kellar’s head had snapped toward him, and he was watching him intently.

“Because… look at where Fendral is now. He was such a strong man… yet he wolfed out after what happened to Esther. He tried to fight it for a while, but he couldn’t. I feel terrible for what he’s gone through, but worst of all is he deserted the pack. Losing his earth mate destroyed him and us.”

Tobyn couldn’t help his bitterness showing through, and it made him a little embarrassed. “I don’t blame him… but it would have been better for him and for all of us if he hadn’t found Esther... I mean as a mate. It would have been better to have found her as a wife. He could have recovered from losing her then. With mates, you can’t.”

Tobyn’s voice dropped to an almost murmur. “Maybe the earth mother did us a favor by taking them away.” He shivered after the words left his mouth, and he wasn’t sure of the reason. “And his kids never should have left on a wild goose chase. Where did that get them?” He looked at his friend for a response, but he’d gone quiet and was turned away. Why did he feel like he’d gone too far? “Anyway, there’s only one thing those movies were even remotely close on.”

Kellar turned somber eyes back towards Tobyn without actually meeting his. “What was that?”

“Silver bullets. I don’t know how… it must be a coincidence, but silver does affect us.”

“You’re kidding right? Silver bullets?”

“Just about the silver part. Any bullet can kill us, but silver can prevent us from shifting.”

“You’re pulling my leg.” Kellar became more animated, and half-turned in his seat.

“No,” Tobyn said, amused at Kellar’s reaction. “Seriously. It’s not a problem because shifters don’t wear jewelry for obvious reasons… rings and chains fall off or get broke… same with earrings and other piercings… but if you did wear a silver necklace and didn’t remove it, you wouldn’t be able to change.”

“Holy shit. I never knew that. I wonder why it has that effect. Are you sure you’re not playing with me?”

“I swear to the great mother. It’s true. I recall listening to some of the old stories, and the worst ones told of wealthy lords who kept families collared with silver so they couldn’t change. They’d unlock those on the husbands and fathers so they could hunt game for them while they kept their families within the walls of their strongholds. We were nothing more than a tool for them, and that was the life for most packs back then. Miss Sybil told me once about rebellions that happened… many of us were murdered attempting to escape, but enough made it to remote areas in small groups. We were isolated, but we were free, and we lived that way for a few hundred years. Hunters, though, kept coming after us, picking us off in great numbers whenever they found a pack; so once ‘the new world’ opened up, many shifters made the trip. Apparently, some great leader rallied the different packs to join and fight back, and make a better life in the Americas. I’m missing a lot of the story, but the end result was a mass exodus from Europe and the British Isles centuries ago. I’m sure there’s a lot more to it… we’re talking about the span of centuries here… but that’s all I remember. We really miss having a keeper. She would have been able to tell our history in great detail, but she died a long time ago.”

“Fuck! That’s incredible. There’s so much I have no clue about… this stuff needs to be written down by someone.”

“Yeah… but, we can’t. It’s too dangerous.”

“Not if it was written like fiction; a printed up and bound make-believe book. It’s all going to get lost without keepers. You wouldn’t know any of this if not for Sybil, and she’s a seer. Am I right?”

Tobyn had never looked at it in such a way before. “Yes, you are, and I see your point. There’s a lot even I don’t know, and that’s wrong. We can’t afford to lose our histories. I’m going to talk to Mom about this. The pack should reconsider how we look at everything now that all the old ways are disappearing.”

At his response, Kellar turned away again, and Tobyn was enveloped in a feeling from the man he couldn’t quite describe. Resignation, maybe, and sadness? Why the sudden change in mood? What had he said? The one fact that couldn’t be ignored was neither of them were even remotely happy. The sooner this was resolved, the better, no matter how much it was going to hurt.

“We’re here, doc. What do you think?” Kellar turned and smiled, and Tobyn understood he was putting on his best face. He would do the same.

“The lake is beautiful, man. I had no idea it was so freaking huge. It looks a little rough, though.”

“Yeah, it’s choppy today. I like it best when it’s calm and looks like a sheet of glass. It doesn’t happen often, though.” Small talk was good.

“Jeez, there’s a ton of people around, and I can count at least ten boats from here.”

“There are a lot more out on the lake system you can’t see. It’s a madhouse all summer long, and in winter, there’s a lot of ice-fishing going on. We have forty huts we rent out. It’s damn good income for Morningstar. I work here whenever I can, and the thing I like most is a lot of our business is comprised of regulars who show up year after year.” More small talk, but it was working, and Tobyn started to relax for the first time since he’d walked out of Miss Sybil’s house.

They left the truck and strode toward the docks. Tobyn laughed when Kellar ran to stick his hand in the water; it was such a kid-like thing to do. He showed him the ins and outs of the business while they toured, introducing him to the shifters on site, and enjoying the reaction they had to the big man. He really was larger than life. It was such a pleasure to see how people were drawn to him as they made their way around the marina. Tobyn was reminded of the Pied Piper story he’d read as a kid.

Eventually, they meandered up to the large campground, greeting the occasional happy, contented client. Kellar had relaxed as well, and the walk was again peaceful. “So, what do you think?” Tobyn asked.

“I think the pack has created a little bit of paradise here. The lake is amazing, and I like how all these campsites are secluded from one another. At the marina, I noticed some of the workers are tired, but I saw no serious health problems outside of inflamed joints in a few of the older ones.”

“Do you ever take time off from being a healer?”

“It’s who….”

“… I am,” Tobyn finished for him, and they both chuckled.

“I guess I’ve said that before, huh?”

“Yes, you have. You’re a pretty special guy, Kellar Haylan.”

“Yeah? Thanks… so are you, my friend. I… I love that you always put the pack ahead of yourself. I guess we’re not all that different. Like you said earlier... we both have to do whatever we feel we need to...,” Kellar trailed off. He stuck those large hands in his pockets and started to walk at a quicker pace, as if he was trying to escape the moment.

Fuck. So much for being relaxed. Tobyn was once again a storm of emotions as they made their way back to the truck. Fuck.

A big thank you to my editor, Timothy M., and to all those who read and support this story... thank you....

Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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GRRRRRRR how can two people that are in sync with each other not be on the same page??? heck part of me is wondering if they're even on the same chapter or the same book for that matter lol.....I know....there's more to come and I promise you i'm going to keep reading!!!!!

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On 07/19/2016 11:43 AM, JayT said:

GRRRRRRR how can two people that are in sync with each other not be on the same page??? heck part of me is wondering if they're even on the same chapter or the same book for that matter lol.....I know....there's more to come and I promise you i'm going to keep reading!!!!!

LOL. I expected that reaction, jt. The thing is they are feeling exactly the same way, but they're too worried about letting the other off the hook(no pun intended, buddy). Each puts on their game face, but neither one is fooled. I wanted to give a glimpse inside Tobyn's head... he thinks he can be in control of his 'love' for Kellar. We'll see... he thinks at this point that separation will make things easier, yet he couldn't stand to be 50 feet away when they were at Miss Sybil's... I'm glad you're going to hang in there, and I appreciate the review... I commiserate, but Tobyn's not ready to let go of what he's concerned himself with for years... he's a determined man... cheers... Gary...

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See previous review - Men are such stupid creatures. Torture is bad but self-inflicted torture is the worst kind.

 

he wanted to open up and discuss how he felt, he knew it would be unfair to the big-hearted man.
I have these massive feelings for you, but… arghhh.

 

Stupid, stupid Tobyn, unfair to the big hearted man??? Ripping his heart out and denying their love??? At this stage I think they deserve to be stuck in a truck for hours and hours with Tobyn's mother asking the questions neither of them wants to address.

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Tobyn's plan for the future is noble and self-sacrificing but he should realize he might not even be able to perform with Tilly. He needs to realize there are other ways he could father children and still be with Kellar. I look forward to reading more. Good story.

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On 07/19/2016 11:51 AM, Lux Apollo said:

Oh the feels, they hurt so... Nice chapter. :)

LOL... Yup... the feels, the agonies. Tobyn is really struggling with what's happening to him. He knows exactly how he feels, but it was the last thing he wanted... except now it's exactly what his heart wants. It's a dilemma many have faced, but I don't think he has any idea of the strength of what he feels. Will the mind win? We'll see... I think he's in store for some major hurt. Thanks, my friend, for the support and the review... stay tuned... cheers... Gary...

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On 07/19/2016 12:03 PM, Bucket1 said:

See previous review - Men are such stupid creatures. Torture is bad but self-inflicted torture is the worst kind.

 

he wanted to open up and discuss how he felt, he knew it would be unfair to the big-hearted man.
I have these massive feelings for you, but… arghhh.

 

Stupid, stupid Tobyn, unfair to the big hearted man??? Ripping his heart out and denying their love??? At this stage I think they deserve to be stuck in a truck for hours and hours with Tobyn's mother asking the questions neither of them wants to address.

Hey, B. I agree with you. This is an age-old scenario, played over and over through time. That one person you never expected shows up, and everything goes to hell. Tobyn is already in a lot of pain over what he sees as his responsibility. His life has been about watching shifters disappear, get sick, die... children being stillborn and people going through the motions of living... so I give him a pass on coming to terms with a traitorous heart. He doesn't think his happiness matters, but he's young, and he thinks he can and should defeat his feelings. Admitting he's in love with the big man is a big deal, and I think he's teetering. He's in a battle, and he truly hates that he is hurting Kellar. I admire him, and I want to slap him silly. As a character, I find Tobyn quite different... he won't be pushed... maybe you're right... a road trip could have an effect on the situation... thanks for the great review and for hanging in there, my friend... I know it's frustrating... cheers... Gary...

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On 07/19/2016 12:14 PM, avidreadr said:

Tobyn's plan for the future is noble and self-sacrificing but he should realize he might not even be able to perform with Tilly. He needs to realize there are other ways he could father children and still be with Kellar. I look forward to reading more. Good story.

Hey, avidreadr. I think Tobyn is in a process, and he's fighting what he feels. Kellar has had this almost unfathomable impact on his life in a very short time, and Tobyn is struggling to regain control of things. As I said in a previous response, Tobyn marches to a different drummer because of what he has seen throughout his life. It's all been turned upside down, but at least he's not in denial. He's digging his heels in right now, but he has no idea what he's in for... he has to learn that life doesn't always go as planned... it's a lesson we all learn :) . I'm so glad you're liking the story... much more to come... thanks for the great review... cheers... Gary...

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On 07/19/2016 12:58 PM, Mikiesboy said:

Never was a turkey baster needed more. Great chapter!

He he. Thanks, tim. Yeah, something needs to give for sure. I don't know about a turkey baster, but well... maybe it's an option. Thanks for your constant support, and the amusing review... cheers, my friend... Gary...

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OMG tim's turkey baster comment had me crying with laughter! That was great :lol:

 

As much as I understand where Tobyn is coming from, he frustrates me. I honestly think if he knew he and Keller were earth mates it would actually strengthen his resolve to keep their distance. After what happened when Fendral lost his mate, he sees an earth mate as a potential liability, not a blessing, and I think K realized that during their conversation in the truck. Eventually I believe the pull is going to be too strong to ignore, but how much damage to their hearts is he going to do while he tries to walk away... or let K leave?

 

K frustrates me for a lot of the same reasons. They're both good men, trying to do the right thing, and ripping each other, and themselves, apart in the process. I can't wait to see what this road trip brings. The proximity is only going to strengthen the bond their hearts feel, regardless of how stubborn their minds are.

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Frustrating. Yes, that's a good word right now. Very good word. Very descriptive. Yes, "frustrating". How about a just-as-good phrase...hmmm? How about "Knock some sense into him?" No, not quite descriptive enough. How about "Knock some frikkin sense into the dumb #@%&!". Yes, much better...Okay, I feel better now.

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Hmm, the plot--and the bond between Tobyn and Kellar--thickens. Tobyn has rejected the concept of earth mates, which Kellar sees as being the situation between them. With Tobyn shutting off any chance of a physical relationship, it's for the best that Kellar leave. Does Kellar see that what Tobyn has decided will not really do anything for the Pack other than prolong the eventual demise?
A new fact Kellar wasn't aware of--the effect of silver on wolves. Has he just gotten some sort of clue? Can't wait to find out.
More please, my friend!

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The problem, aside from the obvious emotional turmoil, is that Tobyn's plan to help the pack doesn't seem to have any chance of actually helping the pack. It appears that every person in the pack seems to be affected by the malaise. Even were he to bring more kids into the pack with Tilly, it wouldn't do any good. He'd just be inflicting his poor kids with the same problem. The pack lack's vibrancy, but I guess it's easier to stay closed off and afraid of what's 'out there' than it is to recognize that all these things they've lost are what seem to keep the packs alive.

 

Moreover, it's easier to blame the lost old ways like finding an earthmate for what's troubling the pack then realizing that since they've stopped doing that this malaise has set in. I guess if Tobyn keeps convincing himself that's for the best to help the pack it'll make it easier. But I don't think that'll actually help the pack. The other problem is now that they've had that conversation, at this point I don't think Kellar will ever bring up earthmates again. He knows that's what they are, but that'll just make Tobyn double down on his stupid plan. How will this all get sorted out?

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On 07/19/2016 02:04 PM, LitLover said:

OMG tim's turkey baster comment had me crying with laughter! That was great :lol:

 

As much as I understand where Tobyn is coming from, he frustrates me. I honestly think if he knew he and Keller were earth mates it would actually strengthen his resolve to keep their distance. After what happened when Fendral lost his mate, he sees an earth mate as a potential liability, not a blessing, and I think K realized that during their conversation in the truck. Eventually I believe the pull is going to be too strong to ignore, but how much damage to their hearts is he going to do while he tries to walk away... or let K leave?

 

K frustrates me for a lot of the same reasons. They're both good men, trying to do the right thing, and ripping each other, and themselves, apart in the process. I can't wait to see what this road trip brings. The proximity is only going to strengthen the bond their hearts feel, regardless of how stubborn their minds are.

Hey, Lit. Thanks for your enthusiasm. You're right in Tobyn's bias against earth mates. I hope you understand just how much he's hurting for his dying pack. He has had to come to grips with so many difficult things in his life, and his take on things may be a little skewed. Kellar is out of his element in so many ways. He's used to being alone, and has never felt such strong feelings for another person before. He's a little lost and unsure as to what he should do, so his reaction is to go away and lick his wounds. It makes sense to him, because being alone is what the man knows. With regards to earth mates, Tobyn has only known of one set in his lifetime. They ARE rare, for whatever reason, so he's convinced himself they no longer exist. He's not alone. Many other pack members feel the same way. The culture of the pack has changed. I expected this reaction for the chapter, and I understand the frustration... hang in there. my friend. We are still missing a lot of the whole picture... I appreciate the support... cheers... Gary...

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On 07/19/2016 07:18 PM, Buz said:

Frustrating. Yes, that's a good word right now. Very good word. Very descriptive. Yes, "frustrating". How about a just-as-good phrase...hmmm? How about "Knock some sense into him?" No, not quite descriptive enough. How about "Knock some frikkin sense into the dumb #@%&!". Yes, much better...Okay, I feel better now.

LOL. I'm glad you feel better now, Buz. I understand the frustration... I really do. But, I want you to keep in mind that this is only their THIRD day together. A lot has happened in that time... meeting, a skull fracture, healing Tobyn, Kellar admitting he finds Tobyn attractive. their run in the woods, a road trip, meeting Elinor and some of the pack, meeting Tilly, healing Adelin, waking up in each others arms, meeting Miss Sybil and finding out about Kellar's names, intense conversations as they get to know each other, and touring the marina. All this in three days, and it isn't over yet. Both men are struggling with a force that has power over them... unexpected... and not welcomed on Tobyn's part. Tobyn is walking around with self-imposed blinders on, maybe, but he has watched the deterioration of his pack for his whole life... he's processing this new wrinkle... he doesn't want anything to derail what he sees as his duty. Misguided? Yes. Understandable? I would say yes, but I'm biased :) . Thanks for the awesome review and making me smile. I get it... but hang in there... Tobyn might frustrate you some more, but he's an interesting character and he marches to his own drummer. Many thanks, Buz... and cheers... Gary...

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On 07/19/2016 09:50 PM, ColumbusGuy said:

Hmm, the plot--and the bond between Tobyn and Kellar--thickens. Tobyn has rejected the concept of earth mates, which Kellar sees as being the situation between them. With Tobyn shutting off any chance of a physical relationship, it's for the best that Kellar leave. Does Kellar see that what Tobyn has decided will not really do anything for the Pack other than prolong the eventual demise?

A new fact Kellar wasn't aware of--the effect of silver on wolves. Has he just gotten some sort of clue? Can't wait to find out.

More please, my friend!

Hey, buddy! Yeah, it's not so much Tobyn has rejected the idea of earth mates as he has come to accept they no longer exist. It mat seem like splitting hairs, but it is important. A lot of the pack feels deserted by the earth mother. The only mates in the last almost century has been Fendral and Esther... Miss Sybil and her mate never got their chance, and Tobyn doesn't know of this. So in essence, there are two reasons for Tobyn's attitude about mates, and I think there's some bitterness there for the suspected desertion. I hope that made sense :) . As far as Tobyn's plan.... he's going to look for answers by locating other packs. Maybe answers are out there... having children is an important part of his life long plans, but really, they are secondary to finding answers... and as far as silver... well, it may play a part or it might not. Hehe... cheers, and thanks, my friend... Gary...

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On 07/19/2016 09:51 PM, spikey582 said:

The problem, aside from the obvious emotional turmoil, is that Tobyn's plan to help the pack doesn't seem to have any chance of actually helping the pack. It appears that every person in the pack seems to be affected by the malaise. Even were he to bring more kids into the pack with Tilly, it wouldn't do any good. He'd just be inflicting his poor kids with the same problem. The pack lack's vibrancy, but I guess it's easier to stay closed off and afraid of what's 'out there' than it is to recognize that all these things they've lost are what seem to keep the packs alive.

 

Moreover, it's easier to blame the lost old ways like finding an earthmate for what's troubling the pack then realizing that since they've stopped doing that this malaise has set in. I guess if Tobyn keeps convincing himself that's for the best to help the pack it'll make it easier. But I don't think that'll actually help the pack. The other problem is now that they've had that conversation, at this point I don't think Kellar will ever bring up earthmates again. He knows that's what they are, but that'll just make Tobyn double down on his stupid plan. How will this all get sorted out?

Hey, spikey. Thanks for the awesome review. Remember, though, that the most important part of Tobyn's plan is to seek out answers, and hopefully find a pack out there that has figured out a way to combat the malaise. Maybe some packs are decimated, but maybe healthy ones exist. Morningstar voted to have Tobyn do this, so the pressure is on him from the pack and even more from himself. Not a great place to be, but the man is determined. He met Kellar three days ago, and maybe some adjustments are needed, but Tobyn is incredibly driven in his two fold plan to get information, and help repopulate the pack if he is one of the potent few. Shortsighted? Maybe, but it's all he's had to hang onto to. Who knows what he'll find out there. At least, Kellar was able to save Adelin, and they have a healer who can fix their previously fatal maladies. In the past three days, both men have had their emotions and lives turned upside down... it's a good question as to how to sort this out... where do they go from here... neither one is entirely sure... thanks for hanging in there and supporting this story... as I've said before, there is so much more to come... cheers, my friend... Gary...

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On 07/20/2016 04:40 AM, dughlas said:

Someone should write down all the lore and history, maybe they could treat like make believe, fiction ... hmmm ... is there there sumpin you're not tellin' us?

 

I wonder is the malaise due to an abandonment of the old ways? They no longer go out to meet with other packs, they no longer seek earthmates, they feel the earth mother has forgotten them. They seem more concerned with remaininng safe. Has the closing off of the Pack from others and the infusion of outside blood caused some genetic disorder?

 

If Tobyn thought he was "out of sorts" while waiting outside Miss Sybil's he is in for a very rough time if Kendall actually tries to leave. I don't think it possible ... they'll both be too miserable.

 

Can hardly believe it has only been three days ... so much angst and turmoil and bull-headedness.

Yeah, dugh... I'm writing the fiction for them hehe. I love all the speculation going on about the malaise. The answer will come... but not in this reply :) . I don't think separation is going to be easy, for sure. Tobyn has no idea what he's in for... and neither does Kellar. Yeah, it's been a hell of a three days for the guys... thanks for sticking with me, my friend... it means a lot... cheers... Gary...

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... mister =.= I want you to ride this rocket ship of encouragement, love and enthusiasm yuh hear? If any lack of confidence wants to creep in, drown it out with the voices of these people along with mine. These characters now have a life of their own and are just ripe and ready to have their stories told... and its going to be GREAT \o/
:worship::wizard::joe::2thumbs:0:):music::kiss::yes::thankyou:B)

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Another great series Gary! Normally not into the whole werewolf fantasy thing, but I totally love Keller and Tobyn! Ur doing a hreat job with this love story so far. I feel so bad for Keller, and totally understand him wanting to leave before he gets any more attached. I can also understand where Tobyn is coming from, although I don't understand why he would push away true love. They totally have that connection that Miss Cybil was talking about. I think feelings like that would be impossible for anyone to bury! Looking forward to reading more!

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On 07/21/2016 07:52 AM, JustinJPCF said:

... mister =.= I want you to ride this rocket ship of encouragement, love and enthusiasm yuh hear? If any lack of confidence wants to creep in, drown it out with the voices of these people along with mine. These characters now have a life of their own and are just ripe and ready to have their stories told... and its going to be GREAT \o/

:worship::wizard::joe::2thumbs:0:):music::kiss::yes::thankyou:B)

Hey, Justin. It's great to hear from you, and I have to tell you how much I love this review. It IS a "rocket ship of encouragement" to me, so thank you. I'm so pleased you like the story and where it's going, and each word and emoticon you have used has given me a boost. I'll try my best to live up to your confidence in me :) . Again, thank you for the awesome review... cheers... Gary...

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On 07/21/2016 08:48 PM, Kitt said:

Thanks, Kitt. I'm so glad you liked it... and as always, I love your heart :) . Thanks for the support, Sis... cheers... Gary...

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