Morningstar: The Malaise - 37. Chapter 37 Many Happy Returns

Morningstar: The Malaise

Chapter 37

“Did you remember the letters of introduction from Denver and me?”

“Yes, Mom, and we packed enough of the copper to protect all the Vega members when we get there.”

“Good. I must say, everyone I talked to likes the chain so much better than that annoying wire. I hardly notice I have my necklace on even though I’ve never worn jewelry before.”

“Good, because it’s a part of our life from now on. I like mine too, and it’s surprisingly strong.”

“And you have the hunting rifles, right?” She had turned her eyes to Kellar. “They’re registered to Tobyn so it’s a legal carry, but make sure you follow the rules and have the registration handy.”

“Yes, Elinor.” Kellar struggled not to grimace at her second time mentioning the guns. “They’re in the lock box behind the back seat of the truck. No worries.”

“Mom, could you please keep an eye out for Fendral. We caught his scent when we were leaving the house. He was in the woods out back, and he hasn’t come that close in ages. I called to him, but he ended up moving a little farther away.”

“Well, that’s interesting. I think we’d all prefer it if he stayed nearer the compound. It must be so lonely, isolating himself the way he’s been doing. I think I’ll ask Denver to go for a run later and see if he’s still around. I’m curious if he knows what occurred here… with that horrible Reznick. If only he would shift and talk to the younger ones like he used to.” Elinor looked contemplative and Kellar wondered again about the wolfing out of the old grey. Maybe it was something that had to happen. From the sounds of it, the trio of leaders were more progressive in their outlook than Fendral had been, yet they all held out hope he’d resume his duties one day. He must have been one hell of a man before he lost everything and withdrew from his responsibilities.

“I don’t think he can anymore, Elinor. He has a lot more burnt umber in his pattern than he should have, and that might prevent him for taking human form." The look on her face made him quickly backtrack. "But, I could be mistaken.”

“Oh dear… well, let’s hope that’s not the case. I don’t want to give up hope… so you have it all covered then?” Her abrupt change of subject didn’t cover the effect his theory had. Maybe I should have kept that to myself.

“We tried Clarence Stanley’s number again, like you asked, but there’s still no answer. Same for Vega County Lumber. I hope it doesn’t mean something’s wrong.” Tobyn looked from his mother to Kellar. “I still think you’re right that it might end up better for us to just show up unannounced, anyway.”

“Denver and I tried again this morning too, dear. Don’t worry… I took your advice and didn’t leave any message, but Denver thought we should make our best attempt to contact the alpha, and with him being a former Vega member, we have to respect that. He wanted to see if he could help pave the way for his boys. That’s the way he looks at you two now.”

“We know, and we appreciate it, we really do, but you already know how I feel.” Kellar had thought a lot about their approach to this unknown pack. “I’d rather they didn’t have any idea we were coming since we don’t have a clue as to their situation. A lot could have changed since Denver left, and not for the better. I didn’t want to say this to him, but what would we have done if they’d said we weren’t welcome? It would be easier for them to do on the phone than it would be in person. We need contact with other packs. My gut tells me it’s better this way, and besides, there’s not much we can get into over the phone. Anyway, we tried.”

“Yes, we did, and I know you understand the position I’m in. Denver seldom presses his opinion, and I did see his point. Now, I guess you boys will have to play it by ear.” Elinor smiled before sipping her tea, while Kellar and Tobyn finished up their breakfast. “You’ll keep me up to date, right?”

“Yes, Mom.” Tobyn rolled his eyes at her. “But remember, Denver said cell reception was unreliable, so don’t freak out if you don’t hear from us for a few days.”

“I won’t, but you can call me when you get to the cabin.”

“I’ll make sure he’s a good boy and calls his mom,” Kellar promised with a chuckle.

“Okay, okay. I know you guys are making fun of me for worrying, but I can’t help myself. It’s what a mother does,” Elinor said, not without some self-deprecating humor.

“I’m sorry. We do understand, Elinor. We’re just excited about finally heading out on a search. And yes, we’ll be careful… I won’t let any harm come to your son. I’m kind of used to having him around,” he said with a teasing grin at his mate.

“And I’ll watch our healer’s backside. I’m just a little partial… ah… to his company too.”

Elinor appeared to miss her son’s hesitation, but Kellar didn’t. He turned his head to Tobyn and gave him a smug look as they shared a grin.

“I know it might not seem like it, but I do have trust in you boys as a team. I have faith I haven’t felt in a good many years.” Kellar expected, from the emotion in her voice, she would tear up, but she didn’t. It was like pack leader and mom did constant battle. “So, it sounds like you do have it all covered then. I hope this turns out to be a good experience for you both. Morningstar is abuzz with talk of new mates, and Joanne tells me she and her husband have discussed separating if one of their mates is found.”

“Really? Wow,” Tobyn said.

“I think it’s a discussion many will be having. Joanne feels anything that improves their chance at children needs to be taken, and Dolan feels the same. Joanne was quite straightforward about how they’re tired of going through the motions.”

“So they’ve already made the decision, Elinor?”

“Yes, they have. We had a long talk yesterday when you boys were fitting members for their copper. They love each other in their own way, but being childless in a pack with so few makes it difficult to be truly happy. I won’t be surprised if most feel the same. It’s not enough to just exist anymore. Everyone wants to see children… babies… whether theirs or someone else’s. It will be proof of a future for us.”

“It’s the one thing about this search I’ve been dreading, but now… well… that helps.” Kellar felt Tobyn’s shoulder press against his in commiseration.

“I’ve been worried about the same thing, doc. It won’t be easy for some, but Mom’s right. Happiness in the pack has been elusive for ages, and it’s all because of a zero birthrate for the last decade.”

“I would never presume to tell someone what they should do,” Kellar said quietly, “but we are doing this for a reason, and that is to save our kind. It’s good to hear shifters are open to accepting mates they never expected to meet, and to go through such personal upheaval in some cases.”

It was a sobering conversation, and all three remained quiet for a few minutes. “Some will be hurt: no doubt about it, but this is our chance to live again. Our pack will get that… have gotten that. It’s not the time to be close-minded.” Elinor’s tone was grim, yet Kellar knew there was much empathy there.

“We’re very fortunate, Tobyn and I, and you and Denver, not to have to face that kind of choice. I only hope it doesn’t happen too often, or people might start to dread us.”

“Yeah, and who knows how mates we find at other packs will react to what we have to tell them.”

“I guess we’re going to find out tomorrow. Are we just about ready to hit the road?” Kellar had enough of the somber conversation, and judging by Elinor and Tobyn’s expressions, so had they.

“Road trip,” his mate enthused as he pushed an empty plate away. “It’ll be nice to see our cabin again.”

“Yeah, it will. Maybe we can go for a run when we get there… visit our rock?”

“I’d like that.”

“And I have plenty of work to do,” Elinor said as she stood. “I wish you luck, my boys. I’ll see you in a few days, hopefully.”

“All right, Mom… won’t tell you not to worry, because you will. I can only tell you we’ll be cautious in whatever we do, okay?”

“Good enough, Toby. That’s all a mother can ask.” Her hugs were hurried before she walked to her office, and both men understood why.

“She’ll be fine, babe. She might have a little cry, but she’s one tough lady. Your mom is one hell of a leader.”

“Yes, she is… and she’s one hell of a mom too. Let’s go, mountain man… just you, me, and the cabin,” he said with a look Kellar took as a promise.

Home. Kellar felt the power of the place. He was never more thankful for its existence than he was at this moment. He was behind the wheel of Tobyn’s truck, and quickly took note the cabin looked undisturbed, before turning full attention to his mate.

Tobyn was watching him with the glimmer of a smile on his face.

“What?”

“I’m glad you told me how important this place is to you. I can see it now. This will always be your home.”

“Tobyn….”

“No, I know Morningstar is too. I’m not saying that. I just mean this place is more than somewhere you’ve lived. You are in everything I see here. You’ve worked hard for it, you’ve earned it, and you deserve it. I’m happy I’m able to see the peace it gives you and know what it means… that’s all I’m saying.”

“Wow. I am the luckiest guy on the planet.”

“You could well be, yeah,” Tobyn said with a straight face. “Let’s get those precious plants of yours inside and go for that run you promised.”

“Yes, boss. Our rock is beckoning.”

Kellar rose suddenly, giving off an anxious vibe as he stared up the gentle slope to the west of their slab of sun-kissed granite.

“Doc?” Tobyn raised his large head in alarm.

“No worries,” he sent to his mate just before he shifted. “Up that hill is where old Reznick must have been when he was spying on us.”

Tobyn shifted and stood, joining him. “Did you sense something?”

Kellar turned from the hill. “No, I was dreaming and I woke up with that at the front of my brain. Remember what Reznick said about seeing us, and then the younger said….?”

“That his uncle had seen you and your gold companion… yeah… I remember both conversations word for word. Old Reznick called you the two-sided one.” Tobyn shivered in the blazing heat of the sun. “It could only have been on our first run together, and this was the only open place we were, other than in front of the cabin. You okay?”

“Yup, I am. There’s no one around for miles. My hearing has gotten so good I think I could hear someone breathing on the other side of that knoll. Sorry. I didn’t mean to spoil our naptime… guess the Reznicks aren’t easy to forget for either of us,” he admitted somewhat sheepishly before changing the subject. “I love doing this with you. That first run was the best time I’d ever had as a wolf, and laying here on our rock brings that feeling back. We’ve come a long way since then, haven’t we?”

Tobyn stepped closer, nuzzling his nose along Kellar’s jawline. “I can’t believe I was ever afraid of what I was feeling. This… what I’m breathing in now, spoke to me that first night you took care of me. I remember falling asleep with my head in your hands, and floating on your scent… like I was in a field of the sweetest clover. I woke to that same essence, and I didn’t know what to think because of the impact it had on me… you had on me. I do now, though. I was kidding earlier when I agreed with you. You’re not the luckiest guy in the world; I am, and I wake up every day sure of it.”

“Think you just proved I was right the first time, baby. I go to sleep and wake up the same way, so I guess we can call it a draw. Wanna go home and make some dinner or have a few more hours in the sun?”

Tobyn gave him a measured, almost challenging look. “Honestly, I think we’ve waited long enough to get back here. We’ve done all we can for the pack, and tomorrow we return to being responsible, but this is our time. I just want to be wolves, sharing our rock. All the hunters in the world can go fuck themselves. I don’t want to let them stop us from enjoying the feeling of being side by side and soaking up the heat. Are you with me?”

“Always.” Kellar spread himself out on the granite slab. “Well?” he asked just before he shifted.

Tobyn laughed. “You are one hot wolf, mountain man.” With that, he shifted and joined his mate, laying his head over Kellar’s neck.

His mate was right. They deserved this, hunters be damned. Kellar twisted so that his paws were in the air; Tobyn’s chin repositioned to rest on his throat, and he was content. It had been a struggle, but he had his earth mate beside him, and they were finally of the same mind.

Dinner was a shared effort as they worked in comfortable unison. Kellar surveyed the contents of his freezer, and determined with living at Morningstar, he’d only have to bring down one buck to get him through the coming winter. He needed to do the same for his elderly friends as well. They would be providing him with a wealth of root vegetables for his cold storage, of that he had no doubt.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Uh, oh. I guess I zoned out there. Just thinking about going for a hunt in the fall. I’ll need to bring down two deer, one for my freezer and one for the old couple I told you about. We could do it together if you’re game?”

“Could you imagine my wolf if you went without me?” Tobyn asked. “Count me in… I haven’t done much hunting, other than small game, for a couple of years. We never take down more than we need, and we produce much of our own meat in the farm division.”

“It’s a date then. This fall we’ll do it together. Actually… maybe I’ll only get one since we won’t be here all that often. I guess there’s really no need to have meat at the cabin this winter,” Kellar said, thinking about the coming hunt. It was one more thing he’d never done with another wolf before.

“Yes, we will. Why would you say that? I mean, we can always bring anything we need in the way of food, but of course we’re going to come here any chance we get. At least one night a week sounds good to me.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yeah, isn’t that what we agreed upon?”

“I thought you meant more like once a month, if that, to tell you the truth.”

“Well, there might be times we can’t make it because of weather or road conditions, but this place means a lot to both of us, and I say we spend as much time here as possible. We can have two homes and still be around the pack enough to share our energy.”

“You’re awesome.”

“Uh huh. So are you just going to stand there with the freezer open or are you going to pass me the steaks?”

“Oops. Forgot what I was doing.” Kellar’s smile grew as he passed the venison to his mate. The man had a knack for making him feel like mush inside.

With the movie finished, Kellar searched around for the remote to shut off the DVD player, trying not to jostle a softly-snoring Tobyn. They’d never done such a thing before—relax and watch a movie—and they still hadn’t, he thought wryly. His mate hadn’t lasted a half-hour with his head in Kellar’s lap, before succumbing to the call of sleep. He didn’t mind; he’d spent more time playing with Tobyn’s hair than watching the TV screen.

Their afternoon as wolves had been exactly what Kellar had needed, because it was in his forest… the one that felt like home territory. His mate’s reaffirmation of this place as their second home also affirmed just how special he was. He understood Kellar like no one ever had… not any he could remember. He understood that Kellar, while comfortable with the pack, was still different. Solitude was an alien concept to most shifters, but not to him. There were times when his mate was all he required… or wanted. The peace he felt today with just the two of them was something he cherished. Tobyn got that, and even better, Kellar sensed the man’s complete contentment with it.

“Sorry. I missed the movie.” Tobyn stretched and turned onto his back, facing upward. Multiple blinks made Kellar smile.

“You didn’t miss much. The only cool thing was how fast the zombies moved.”

“I remember that. So not one of Brad’s finest?”

“Nope. I paid more attention to you anyway. You’re beautiful when you sleep.”

“And when I’m awake?” Tobyn lifted an eyebrow.

“Even better. I get to see your eyes.”

“Sweet talker.”

Kellar rumbled out a laugh. “Is it working?”

“Maybe. What did you have in mind?”

“Well since you asked, a little sorting might be nice if you’re up for it.”

Tobyn was up and headed for the shower, looking over his shoulder with a grin. “I might be a while, mountain man.”

“Hey, Tobyn?”

He halted and turned. “Yeah?”

“I want to be the one tonight. I want you to make love to me.” Kellar meant it. He’d thought of little else for the last couple of days.

“Oh… okay. You’re the boss, doc.” Tobyn’s face had lit up and his eagerness showed even though his voice was soft.

“I thought you were?” Kellar said, rising from the couch.

“Not in this, I’m not. I’ll be quick, okay?” He nodded towards the bathroom. “And then you can do your thing… be right back.” He hurried off, and seconds later, Kellar heard him humming once the shower turned on. He chuckled as he removed his clothes.

Kellar’s breath caught at what Tobyn was doing to him. He’d already driven him crazy with his tongue, and now it was his fingers stroking what had to be his prostate. It could only be described as jolts of intense and itchy pleasure as Tobyn skimmed over it. Growing light-headed, he finally remembered to breathe. He was flat on his back, his spread legs automatically widening as he held them up, and all he knew was that he craved more. It was such an intimate sharing and he forced his eyes open enough to take in the crouching man he was allowing inside. Hazel eyes glowed in the dim light, love and desire both shining out of them as he looked up into Kellar’s.

“I take it you like that?”

“Oh God, yeah. It feels… it feels right. I never thought….”

“I know, doc, me neither. It’s not something you can just imagine; you can try, but the reality’s way better.”

“Exactly… having trouble thinking….” This time, Kellar let out a long, low groan as those glorious fingers became a little more confident. He only hoped he’d been as good at this as Tobyn was. There had been no pain so far… not even any real discomfort. Maybe it was the total trust he had in his mate that had him so relaxed and willing. Tobyn was pleasing him, but he wanted more than anything to please him. He allowed his legs to fall until his heels touched the mattress to ease the stretch, and Tobyn slowly withdrew his fingers.

“You okay?”

Kellar nodded. “Just needed to let my legs down for a second. I think I’m ready, babe. I want more,” he said with certainty.

“I’m afraid to even touch your dick the way it’s jerking up and down.”

“Good. Don’t, because it’s been throbbing since we started. You shouldn’t have sucked me first.”

“You complaining?”

“Hell, no.” Kellar stretched his legs out completely on either side of the kneeling man and let out a sigh.

“How do you want to do this?”

Kellar was engrossed in watching Tobyn lube his cock, again drawing his legs up as Tobyn began to apply more to him. “Ah, like this… oh… yeah… um, facing each other.”

Tobyn chuckled. “Yeah, I’d say you’re ready. You look like a god laying there. I could shoot just looking at you.” He moved forward as he spoke and Kellar felt the contact of his cock on his center.

He literally shivered in anticipation. Tobyn put a hand on the back of each thigh and pushed them toward Kellar’s chest. They went willingly and Tobyn leaned with them. Feeling the increase in pressure, Kellar willed himself to ignore the sheer excitement of what was happening. Relaxing, he pushed his rectal muscles outward and his sphincter gave way, letting Tobyn in.

“Ohhhh.”

Kellar watched Tobyn’s eyes widen in surprise. Neither had expected it to happen so quickly, but Kellar, remembering to breathe again, was thankful Tobyn had halted without being asked.

“Okay, doc?”

Kellar couldn’t speak as he absorbed the burn of the stretch. He nodded, though, and Tobyn smiled, looking extremely proud of himself. Another time Kellar would have laughed at his expression.

“Let me know when to move.”

Kellar nodded again. The burn reduced in increments until only the fullness of Tobyn’s cock remained. He slowly let his legs rest on Tobyn’s shoulders as the blond man stayed over Kellar, leaning on his arms. Their eyes were only a couple of feet apart when Kellar tried a little shift that resulted in another half-inch entering. The feeling made him grin. “I’m okay, now.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely. But go slow.”

What followed was astonishingly intense. At times he was overwhelmed by the multitude of sensations as Tobyn began to make love to him. Each stroke was a revelation, and without conscious thought, his hands were roaming every part of Tobyn he could reach, loving, coaxing, and caressing. He expected at least some pain, but there was no sensation he would describe that way… bordering it, yes, but then only fleeting, and replaced on the next stroke by something exquisitely pleasurable. His mate seemed born to do this, not stopping even when he bent close to kiss him. He almost screamed into Tobyn’s mouth at the ecstasy of the suddenly different angle. That finished him, and with a shock, he felt those same teeth lengthen as the last time. Tobyn pulled back mere inches as he still moved his cock in and out.

“Kellar, my teeth….”

“Mine too.” He turned his head and Tobyn nipped and roared before he clamped his lips over Kellar’s neck. Seconds later Tobyn offered his neck to his mate, and Kellar followed his instincts, making his own quick nip as his cock erupted between them. He hadn’t expected this to happen again, but it too felt right. Obviously, his mate agreed.

“Doc, is there a cloud of dust around us?”

Kellar, still in the throes of orgasm, flickered to see millions of specks of color. “Yessss. Ohhh fuck.”

Tobyn repositioned himself so he was no longer leaning, looking around them for a few seconds. Refocusing, and with unbelievable agility, he bent until he’d taken the head of his mate’s cock in his mouth, sucking gently while still imbedded inside him. Kellar wouldn’t have thought it physically possible, and he shuddered as the sight had his erection pulse a couple more times. So fucking intense. His whole body finally went limp, with the exception of his dick, as he licked his lips, still tasting the sweetness of Tobyn’s blood.

His mate, apparently satisfied there was no more cum in his cock, let it drop to a hovering position, eyes on Kellar’s as he moved back up the messy torso until he finally reached the drops of blood Kellar could feel sliding down his neck. When he felt the sucking on his collarbone he humped upwards at the added sensation, writhing against his man until he quit. Slumping back to the mattress, he was truly finished. He felt incapable of movement to any great degree, other than to wrap his trembling arms around the man who followed him down.

All that could be heard in the quiet of the cabin was the synchronized panting of the two men. Oxygen was at a premium for Kellar as his fingers found the back of that golden head. After a couple of minutes, their breathing had settled into a rhythm that made Kellar think his lover had fallen asleep.

“Tobyn? Babe?”

“Hmmm?” Tobyn shifted, and the inevitable happened. They both sighed as he slipped out of Kellar, the noise causing a chuckle from them both. “That sounded familiar,” Tobyn murmured.

Kellar emitted another satisfied groan as his rectal muscles clenched gently. “It did. Oh, man, that was incredible. So, you saw the mist?”

Tobyn raised his head to make eye contact. “I did, but it was only for a few seconds. Like it exploded around us and then faded.”

“Faded? I can still see it. Did you see our colors?”

“No… sorry, but the dust was beautiful. Why do you think I saw it?”

Kellar sighed and ran his fingertips down until he felt the light fuzz on Tobyn’s ass. His hands were slick from the sweat of their heated bodies. “I don’t have any idea. Same with our teeth. I thought our joining was complete… I was sure of it, but it seems like the earth mother had a different idea.”

“Well, I’m not complaining. That was unbelievable, mountain man. I didn’t think I could feel any closer to you, but I do.”

“Me too, baby. You made me feel like the god you said I looked like. You took care of me in every way.” He sighed once more, his hands back up and sliding over Tobyn’s now-relaxed back muscles.

“Just like you did for me.” Tobyn planted little kisses along his neck, causing another shiver to travel through Kellar’s body.

“How in the hell did you manage to contort yourself like you did?”

“Huh?”

“Tobyn, you sucked my dick while you were still inside me.”

“Oh yeah, I did. Guess I’m bendy,” he said with a snicker.

“I would never have thought that was possible. I guess there’s a lot we don’t know yet, but it’ll be fun learning.”

“It probably helps you’re taller than me and have that telephone pole for a dick.” Tobyn snickered again, and Kellar joined him.

“Maybe, but I’m still going to try to do that with you,” Kellar declared.

“That’s fine with me, as long as you don’t hurt yourself. I need you in full working order.” His sultry grin brought forth a belly laugh from Kellar that shook them both.

They lay quietly for a few more minutes. Kellar sent a silent prayer of thanks to the earth mother for giving him Tobyn.

“Kellar, did you just thank the earth mother for the gift of me?”

“What? Yeah, but how….”

“I heard you… in my head, I heard you, like I hear you when we’re wolves. You said you didn’t know what you did to deserve me….”

“… and I thanked her for her gift. Holy fuck.”

“What the hell is going on, doc?”

“I believe she just gave us another one of her blessings. Something she thinks we’re going to need?”

“Wow. I’d say Mom was right about you.”

“It’s not about me, Tobyn. It’s about us. I think we may have been fated as earth mates… and something more.”