Getting Caught - 1. Getting Caught

Monique walked into the conference room with several stacks of copies. The meeting was about to begin and she started to pass the stacks of documents around. As the three piles began to circulate she sat down next to her manager. Looking around the room she noticed a few strange expressions crossing people's faces. She only had a moment to wonder what they were thinking before her manager began to speak.

"Alright, I guess we better get started. First let me just say that we have had a great quarter. Our client reviews have never been better and we have found ten percent more jobs for our temps than we did last year. There are a few places where we could improve. I have created a chart to make the details a little easier to understand. If you look at the-- Monique, what the hell is this!"

Monique picked up her copy of the chart and gave him a confused look. When he showed her his copy her, jaw dropped. Someone had copied their behind and inserted the copies between the charts.

"I don't understand. I was there the whole time and the copies never left my sight!"

She was telling the truth and no one doubted it. Their department had been plagued by practical jokes for months. It was annoying to almost every one at some moment but the jokes never did any real harm.

As Monique made new copies, and the company's IT tech explained that someone had connected the copier to the network and had interfered with the duplicating process. Meanwhile, another department was experiencing its own drama.

"We're meeting with new contractors in an hour. I need this screen saver gone!" Angela almost shouted at her stunned underlings.

She was responsible for the orientation of new temps at the agency. She was setting up her equipment when she saw that someone had changed the screen saver on the projector from the company's logo to an image of a squatting dog relieving itself by a mailbox. Angela's assistant quickly fixed the problem.

Angela threatened whoever had changed the image with bodily harm. Her department had been suffering from similar pranks all year. The employees gave her sympathetic looks but she knew that before the day was over there would be people laughing about it all over the building.

As the month of October neared its end, the jokes were almost forgotten but on Halloween morning both departments were struck again. On the top floor of the building someone had placed a rubber bat in every desk drawer. Exclamations were heard all day long as people reached for their pens and paper clips.

On the bottom floor one scream brought everyone to the large coffee maker which seemed to be brewing up blood.

"Ted, what did you put in that thing?" asked Angela.

"Just coffee," answered the shocked man.

"Here we go again," said another employee and everyone knew what had happened.

A few weeks later John, who was notorious for having long phone conversations in the bathroom found himself glued to the toilet seat. He was able to separate himself from the seat eventually but he made plenty of noise as he pulled and wiggled himself free. When someone asked him if he was alright he explained what had happened and soon the whole company knew.

Once John's notoriety began to fade, another incident took place on the second floor. Monique and her manager Eric had checked their printouts before their meeting. It ran smoothly until the graphic artist Mike started giving a slide show of new images for their website. All the transition sounds in the slideshow had been replaced with much less pleasant ones. His first image was followed by the sound of gagging. The second image was followed by loud flatulence. Mike then tried to mute the sound and his computer froze.

As he pressed different keys trying to revive the machine, the sounds of various bodily functions echoed through the room. No one could stop themselves from laughing until Mike restarted his computer and showed his images with the sound turned off.

The week before Thanksgiving Angela's assistant Danny opened his office to find it full of turkey-shaped balloons. That afternoon everyone went home with a balloon and a growing curiosity about the prankster. It seemed like everyone had a different theory about who was responsible but no one had any proof.

In mid-December, the company had a Christmas party and the prankster struck again. When Santa went to put on his red suit he found that the pants had been replaced by a pair with two big holes cut out of the back. The original pants would later be found hanging in Eric's office behind a suit he had brought back from the cleaners.

When everyone arrived at the lunch room for the party they found that the Christmas tree had all the rubber bats from the previous Halloween roosting in it. Someone had pulled them out of the various trash bins and kept them for this occasion.

After the holiday break the first-floor employees were gathering around the coffee pot as they usually did. Ted poured himself a cup of coffee and added the contents of a sugar packet. He took a sip and went into a violent coughing fit. He then rinsed his mouth at the sink and gave all the gaping coworkers a one word explanation. "Salt."

Ted got plenty of sympathy and the young woman in the next cubicle even got him a cappuccino from a coffee shop down the street. He was quite happy by the end of the day. The coffee incident had taken him off of the narrowing suspect list of potential pranksters and he had gotten a free cup of coffee in the bargain. His one small concern was that there might be some strings attached to that coffee. He did not savor having to tell Susie that he had no interest in women.

On his way home Ted stopped at a grocery store to pick up a few items for dinner. As he was going to the checkout isle he saw a fellow employee paying for a large box of candy. Ted sighed. The man had a perfect figure and clearly could eat whatever he pleased. Ted had noticed him before. The man, Ryan, was hired a month after Ted was hired. He was outgoing and attractive.

The following day there was a commotion on the second floor. A high-pitched scream brought half the workforce to its feet. As everyone gathered around her desk, a disgusted woman pointed to a pile of something on her desk.

"Eeew, its dog poo!" she exclaimed.

Immediately everyone in the growing crowd reached for their phones and started taking pictures. Soon people started to come from the first floor to get a firsthand view. There was a general sense of indignation until the janitor arrived and took a closer look at the mess. It turned out to be a pile of small candy bars with chocolate sauce on them. A relieved Janice was now off the suspect list but she was a little more cautious about making comments about her neighbor's dog.

That same week renovations began on the downstairs bathrooms. It had been decided that the company could save some money by installing more efficient toilets and urinals. Unfortunately, that meant that all the first-floor employees had to go up to the second floor to use the restrooms. The dog pile prank was soon forgotten as employees started complaining about the bathrooms being crowded and the elevator being too busy.

Ryan had always considered his cubical somewhat conveniently placed between the men's room and the break room. Now he had a chance to look at all the men coming up from the first floor. There was one who caught his attention. Eventually he learned that the man's name was Ted. The more Ryan watched Ted the more he liked him. He seemed to get along well with everyone and had a good sense of humor.

One night Ryan had to work late. He was on his way out of the building when he noticed that the hallway on the first floor was lined with new toilets. Then he saw Ted maneuvering one of them. He walked up and asked if he could help.

"Oh! You scared me!" Ted nearly jumped.

"Sorry, I thought you heard me coming. What are you doing with that toilet?" asked Ryan.

"I was just moving it over. Someone put it so it mostly blocked my way to the hall. I almost tripped over it twice."

"Sorry to hear that. Do you usually work the late shift?"

"No, I just got behind on a bunch of stuff."

Ryan helped Ted reposition the toilet and wished him a good evening.

The next day Ryan walked in and took his usual rout to the elevator. He noticed that the walkway was now free of toilets. He passed an annoyed Angela and wondered what had upset her but did not dare to ask. Her assistant Danny followed close behind obviously trying not to laugh. As a few of the call center employees walked past him laughing, Ryan asked what was going on. He learned that many of the office chairs on the first floor had been moved over and toilets had been put in their place.

Ryan could not help being impressed. While sliding toilets over linoleum was not that hard, moving close to thirty of them took time. This prankster was dedicated.

By lunch time most of the toilets had been reclaimed by the plumbers. As Ryan walked down the hall he saw one of the plumbers moving a toilet he smiled. "Someone made sure you get your exercise," he commented.

"It’s not that much work, and they pay by the hour," answered the plumber with a grin.

"Looks like you're close to done on this floor."

"Yeah. We just need to replace the drinking fountains."

"What's wrong with those?"

"They don't have filters. You see that little tube? That goes directly to the water supply and the water pressure just drives it to the valve. "

"That's really simple."

"Yeah, you can't even get a water cooler that simple anymore," said the plumber and then returned to his work.

"I don't know why we even have those things," muttered Danny as he walked by, "The water cooler works fine."

The next day Ryan was sitting in his cubical when he heard some happy voices coming from the break room. He went to see what was going on. The source of the happiness was the water cooler. It was full of beer. Once everyone had had a drink they began to speculate on who the culprit was. Those who had been previously singled out as the prankster's victims were assumed innocent.

"Anyone who got pranked didn't do this," declared Danny.

"I'll drink to that!" answered Ted raising a paper cup.

Some of the others cheered but Ryan felt a little uncomfortable. He was in the shrinking group of people who had not been targeted.

Two weeks later he was off the suspect list. A small colorfully wrapped package appeared on his desk. There was nothing written on it and no note attached. Ryan asked Janice in the cubicle next to him if she had seen anyone drop it off. She had not and neither had Sam in the next cubicle.

"Why don't you open it?" asked Janice.

"Careful! What if it’s a stink bomb?" warned Sam.

"Who gift wraps a stink bomb!" Janice rebuked.

Ryan opened the package and found a jar of jelly beans inside.

"It's just candy," he said as he opened the jar.

Ryan took a few beans out of the jar and Sam grabbed a few too. As soon as they bit into the candy their faces contorted in disgust.

"Oh! These are horrible!" exclaimed Ryan.

"Ugh! It’s like someone took a dump in my mouth!" complained Sam.

They both went to the break room hoping to find some coffee but the pot was empty.

"Let’s go downstairs. Angela's department has its own pot," suggested Sam.

They got in the elevator and Sam pressed the one button. The elevator started to move and Sam leaned against the wall. He accidentally hit the open-door button and the elevator made a ringing sound but did not open the door until they reached the bottom floor.

After they had pilfered some coffee and where ready to leave they went to the elevator and found Ted waiting for it. He looked at his watch and turned toward the stairs. "I think its stuck again," he said as he passed Ryan and Sam.

Sam and Ryan followed him.

"Does that happen often?" asked Ryan

"Yes," answered Ted and Sam at the same time.

They had more reasons to go back and forth between floors and had been forced to take the stairs many times. Sam had been stuck in the elevator a few times and had to wait until the maintenance people let him out. No one understood the elevator's strange behavior. That made Ryan wonder if he could figure it out.

The next day when he was riding the elevator up he remembered how Sam had accidentally pressed the door opening button shortly before the elevator got stuck. He decided to try an experiment. He pressed the door opening button before the elevator got to the second floor. Like before it made a sound but got him to his destination. He walked out and the elevator closed. Ryan was ready to forget his idea as the elevator delivered its next load of passengers to the first floor. He was already near his cubicle when the elevator got stuck. He grabbed his coffee cup and went to the break room. On his way back he saw people gathering by the elevator door. One of them shouted to a coworker, "Sandra, can you call maintenance? The elevator's stuck again!"

The elevator had been able to drop him off, take another load of passengers to the first floor and then got stuck on the way up. Ryan wondered if this was always going to be the case or if the number of trips the elevator took before stalling was arbitrary. Then he sat down at his desk. He looked at his wall calendar and realized that it was already February. He flipped the page and looked at the little red heart near the middle of the page. Valentine's Day was coming and it was likely that he would be alone. He had not been on a date since he broke up with his boyfriend six months earlier. He sighed and started on the day's work.

Downstairs Ted was having almost identical thoughts. Since his last breakup, he had kept to himself. He would have to find some way to keep himself busy on Valentine's night. He deleted the candy add from his inbox and moved on to work related emails.

A few days later Ryan got an invitation from one of his friends to an unValentine party. There was a local tradition for people who were either sick of Valentine's Day or had no one to celebrate with, to get together for an informal party called an unValentines party. Ryan had heard about them but had never gone to one. He accepted his friend's invitation. She emailed him back a few hours later saying to bring snacks, drinks, and/or friends.

As he read the message, Ryan heard laughter coming from the hall way. It was time for lunch and some employees were coming up from the first floor. Ryan looked at the clock and realized that it was noon. He joined the group heading for the break room. Ted was among them. Ryan smiled at him and said "Hi."

"Hey Ryan, how are you?"

"Good. So, it looks like it’s been a fun morning downstairs."

"You heard?"

"No. What happened?"

"Eric and Angela are working on a project in her office today and someone changed the ringtone on Eric's cell phone to that annoying kids' song about diarrhea and wouldn't stop calling him. He was sort of asking for it. He leaves that phone everywhere and then spends his day looking for it."

Ryan was about to ask what song Ted was referring to. Then he heard a group of people coming down the hall singing "First you feel an urge, then you a sudden surge. Diarrhea!"

"I hope they don't keep singing that over lunch," said Ryan.

He could not help smiling. He clearly remembered Eric bringing his son to work a few weeks earlier. The boy had been singing that song as he skipped down the hall.

The break room was crowded with people retrieving their lunches from the two large refrigerators and lines were forming in front of the microwave and toaster ovens. Luckily Ted and Ryan had brought sandwiches for lunch. They sat down together when they found some free chairs. There was an awkward silence as both men unpacked their lunches and tried to think of something to say. Ryan noticed a ring on Ted's finger and asked "So, are you and the missus planning anything fun next week?"

Ted gave him a confused look and then realized what had given Ryan the wrong impression. "Oh, no. I'm single. The ring was a gift from a friend. It’s supposed to give me good luck by balancing my chi or something. I'm just gonna hang out at home. How about you?"

"I'm going to my friend's unValentine party. I've never been to one but it sounds like fun. Do you want to come?"

"Sure, sounds great."

In the days leading up to the party the serial prankster seemed to be taking a break. The strange inactivity put the whole office on edge. People started to speculate that whoever it was might be on vacation or out sick. Monique went as far as to check if anyone had been fired in the past few weeks. No one had been fired, quit, or retired. Danny was sure he knew who it was but he was sure it was a different person every day. Alan and Cheryl in the IT department started a spreadsheet to try correlating the pranks with the work hours of various employees. They bragged about their method constantly.

Then one morning a few days before Valentine's Day, Allen went to work on a new server. He turned it on and to his dismay the fifty terabytes of storage he had just installed did not show up. He turned off the machine and opened it up. All the hard drives were missing and in their place were piles of rubber roaches and spiders. The hard drives were neatly stacked behind a cardboard box in a corner of the server room.

He was annoyed but relieved that the drives were still in the room. He immediately went to his manager to complain about the locks on the door. As soon as Allen left the office, Cheryl came in holding a case that should have held a backup drive. It had a very realistic plastic dead mouse in it.

Despite everyone's fears Valentine's Day and the day after passed without incident. Ted and Ryan went to the unValentine's party. It turned out to be a small casual affair. Ted got to meet many of Ryan's friends. The hostess of the party had been Ryan's friend since grade school and she gave Ted a new perspective on his new friend. At one point, she began to tell her guests about Ryan's elementary school years.

"We had this horrible old grouchy teacher in fourth grade. She was mean! One day she did something to Ryan. I can't remember what she did but the next day Ryan put chocolate sauce all over her chair."

Everyone laughed. Then another of his friends remembered an incident. "Do you guys remember when we went camping and he put the rubber snake in Jake's sleeping bag?"

As a few more people chimed in with stories, Ted began to wonder if Ryan might be behind some of the pranks at work. He did not say anything assuming that Ryan would deny any involvement.

February came to a quiet end. There was one incident where a giant plastic tarantula was placed on Monique's black office chair. She sat on it and then got up to see what was there. The scream that followed could have woken the dead. Eric had been in her office that morning and she became convinced that he was responsible. Over lunch that day she told her theory to anyone who would listen.

"but Eric wasn't there for the toilet incident. He couldn't be the prankster," countered Cheryl.

"and this is coming from the girl with the dead mouse in her hard drive?" was Monique's response.

Cheryl just shrugged her shoulders.

In March things got interesting again. It started when a man named Dave bought himself a singing leprechaun. He put it on his desk. It had a motion sensor and would sing every time someone walked by. After three days, people began avoiding Dave's cubicle. By the fifth day it seemed that even the leprechaun was sick of singing about his pot of gold.

Dave came in on Friday morning expecting to hear singing. Instead he heard what sounded like someone breaking wind. Dave spent the first half hour of his work day looking at the instructions that came with the singing toy. Soon other people came to his aid. As each one approached the desk the leprechaun let out another fart. Finally, Angela came to Dave's cubicle. She gave him a stern look and he felt compelled to explain.

"My leprechaun is broken."

"Let me see that," she said reaching for the toy.

It made a noise in response to her motion and she knew what was wrong immediately.

"It's not broken. The batteries are low."

"But they were supposed to last at least ten days and -"

"Clearly they did not last. Now turn off that toy and get back to work!" With that Angela turned on her heal and walked away.

Dave was too nice to blame anyone for the malfunction. He got some new batteries and was happy to have the little man in green singing again. He did notice that the batteries inside the leprechaun were not the original ones. Other people began to speculate about who might have switched them. Suspicion naturally fell on the people who complained about the music the most. Some even blamed Angela.

As soon as she was out of earshot Susie whispered, "She knew what was wrong way too fast and she was in early the day the toilets got moved around."

Ted told Ryan about the incident as they ate lunch. Ryan noticed that Cheryl and Allan seemed uncommonly happy and asked what was going on.

"They got a new lock for the computer room."

"That's good," said Ryan.

"Maybe," answered Ted.

"What do you mean?" asked Ryan

"They replaced it with the same type of lock. You can literally get is open with a piece of cardboard."

"How?" asked Ryan wondering where Ted had learned such skills.

"It's basically the old credit card trick where you slide the card in the space between the door and the frame but cardboard is better because it can bend around door frames that are meant to block credit cards. I learned to do that when I was a kid at summer camp. My friends and I basically had free reign over the entire property."

Ryan wondered for a moment if Ted could have some part in the cockroach-in-server incident. It was possible but there was no way of knowing.

After St Patrick's Day, the joker took a break but the speculations continued. Angela was convinced that it was the work of someone on the second floor. Everyone on her team had an alibi for at least some of the pranks. The IT department was convinced that whoever did it had to have some IT skills. Their main suspects were Danny who had once been a programmer and a shy secretary named Stan who designed and managed his own website. Eric was convinced that the offending party was in Angela's department because no one in his department would have had the opportunity to cause all the mayhem.

Ted and Ryan would casually comment on who was unlikely to be the guilty party but were reluctant to point a finger at anyone. Monique swore that she would find out who it was and tell that person what she thought of his photocopied butt. Susan offered to buy her lunch if she succeeded.

"That's generous of you," commented Ted as Monique went to get some coffee.

"Not really," answered Susan, "I'm pretty sure she's the one doing it. I saw her with a key to the server room. At the time, I thought she borrowed it but I bet its hers and we only have her word about the copier thing."

Susan had to finish her accusations because Monique was now approaching with a mug in her hand.

After three weeks of quiet, it seemed like the serial prankster might have finally given up and everyone was starting to relax. On the night of March thirty first Ted was working late. He was being very thorough in entering some records making a point to double check everything. Slowly his coworkers left. He wished them a good evening and kept his eyes on his computer until almost everyone was gone. Then he got up and took a walk around the office. He was surprised to find a few other employees still working. Ted decided to take a long break for dinner.

Several hours later he returned feeling good. He had eaten and napped and was ready to get to work. He walked the length of the building. After he was sure the first floor was empty he went back to his cubical and pulled a paper bag out from under his desk. He pulled a big hooded sweatshirt out of the bag.

With the hood shading his face and the bag in his hand he went to the computer room and knocked on the door. No one answered. Ted pulled a piece of thin cardboard out of his pocket and wiggled it in the space between the door and frame. Once he was inside he pulled a few more items out of his bag. He draped a few scandalous looking undergarments over the chairs and put a few empty wine bottles on the floor. Then he placed a convincing puddle of plastic vomit on one of the keyboards. This particular version of the fake vomit was designed to fit over the keys. Ted stepped back and took a look. Satisfied with the result he left the room.

He then turned his attention to the cubicles. Many of the desks had small jars with paper clips and rubber bands. Ted emptied them out and filled them with fake insects and slime he had purchased from a toy store. Then he got into Angela's office. He opened a drawer next to her chair and found a big bag of candy. He opened it and deposited a large rat-shaped gummy candy left over from Halloween.

Finally, he went to the conference room and climbed under the table. He quickly attached an electronic whoopee cushion to the bottom of the table and turned it on. He alternated walking and standing around the table to make sure the motion sensor was working correctly. The device made appropriate sounds. Ted laughed quietly.

While Ted was busy in the conference room Ryan came in. He had left his phone on his desk and was ostensibly looking for it. He walked in and was surprised to see the first-floor lights on. He looked around the first floor but did not see anyone so he assumed that the lights had been accidentally left on but part of his mind was suspicious. He walked to the elevator and got in. As he rode up to the second floor he pushed the open-door button. Because of a defect in the elevator's circuitry, it would now get stuck and trap anyone who tried to follow him up.

The lights on the second floor were off. Ryan left them off. He got to his cubicle in the dark and picked up his phone. Using the phone as a flashlight, he opened his filing cabinet and pulled out several bags. Then he went from cubicle to cubicle putting tape over all the web cameras. He had heard a few people discussing ways to catch the joker and the web cameras had come up.

Once all the cameras were covered, Ryan turned on one of the lights on the far end of the floor. It was just bright enough to keep him from tripping over anything. Then he began the process of swapping the contents of certain cubicles. It took him a few hours but he was happy with the result. While he was rearranging people's possessions Ted was busy with an unexpected opportunity. While he was in the computer room he had noticed that someone had left the login information for the phone network's server on a sticky note by one of the keyboards.

Ted had returned to the computer room with an idea. It took only a little research to learn how to upload new ringtones into the system. It took him an hour to gather all the sounds he wanted and another hour to set up the individual phones. The next morning the floor would be filled with a cacophony of animal noises and other amusing sounds. Ted decided to give the second floor the same treatment. He took the stairs so that he could put fake vomit on the stairs and slime on the door handle.

Once he got to the second floor he got to work on the phones. By the time he had worked his way across most of the floor, Ryan was putting the finishing touches on his work. He put a few candy bars right in front of Eric's office an added some chocolate sauce to make the "dog waste" look more real.

By the time Ted and Ryan were done with their mischief, it was almost three in the morning. Ryan was walking back towards his cubicle when he nearly collided with Ted. They both jumped back.

"Oh! Ted, what are you doing here so late?" gasped Ryan.

"I left the computer sorting data entries and went home for dinner. Then I fell asleep in front of the TV, so here I am finishing my work at three in the morning. What are you doing here?"

"I was pretty sure I left my phone at work but I kept worrying about it. After waking up for the fourth time I decided to come and get it. Pretty lame, isn't it?"

"No, I'm sure I'd do the same thing," said Ted happy that Ryan didn't suspect anything.

"Are you heading home or did you need something from this floor?" Asked Ryan.

"I'm done. I just thought I heard a noise. That must have been you," answered Ted.

They began to walk together in the direction of the elevator and stairwell.

"I like your watch," said Ryan noticing Ted's new toy.

"Thanks. I just got it. It does about a billion things and still looks like a normal watch."

"That's cool. I like the classic look. The modern things look too much like phones stuck to your wrist."

"That's what I think. By the way, what kind of phone was that? It looked thinner than normal."

As Ryan showed Ted his phone, Ted pushed the button on the elevator. He was making a conscious effort to stay away from the stairs. As the elevator door opened Ryan pulled up an app he liked and started talking about it. Ted helped him into the elevator. Ryan followed his lead without looking or thinking. He looked up just in time to see the elevator doors closing.

"Oh wait! We should take the stairs," he exclaimed as he reached to block the closing doors.

He missed the doors and the elevator moved half a floor down and got stuck.

"Sorry," said Ted, "I should have known better than to trust it."

"That's OK there was no way you could have known it would get stuck."

"So now what?" Asked Ted.

"Maybe we can pry the door open and get out," said Ryan.

He tried to open it with his fingers but that did not work. He searched the bag he was carrying but found nothing useful.

"Do you have anything we could wedge in the door?" he asked Ted.

Ted started checking his computer bag. As he reached in, the last unused fake vomit pile fell out. Ryan stepped back and then leaned closer to get a better look.

"What the hell?"

"Um, oh yeah," mumbled Ted as he thought up a reasonable explanation, "that was on my desk when I came in."

"So, you put it in your computer bag?"

Ted shrugged his shoulders and continued digging in the bag. Eventually he found a small screwdriver. They tried to pry the door open but it would not move. Ryan made several efforts and then gave up. He handed the screwdriver back to Ted who put it back in his bag. As he did this, a small rectangle of paper fell out of the bag. Ryan picked it up and looked at it. It was a receipt for something called "barfarama."

"So, they left the receipt on your desk too?" asked Ryan

"Yeah," said Ted and then after a few seconds added, "You're not buying this are you?"

"No."

"I wanted to play a joke on a few people in the office. Its April Fool’s Day tomorrow, after all."

"So how many of these pranks were yours?"

"A few," he admitted and then quickly changed the subject, "How are we going to get out of this elevator?"

"I don't know," answered Ryan.

"What makes it get stuck anyway?"

"There's some kind of logic error in the circuitry. If you hit the door-open button on your way up it will go down once and then get stuck the next time it goes up. I don't know what happened this time."

"Wait. So, you were trying to get the elevator stuck?"

"I was a little creeped out I guess. I didn't want anyone following me. It was stupid but I still don't get why it got stuck on the way down."

"I think I know why," said Ted, "This elevator sometimes moves by itself. I've seen it arrive on a floor without anyone pressing the button or anyone riding it. It must be on some kind of timer. Anyway, that probably messed up the count."

Ryan looked at his phone and slumped down against the back wall. "Its already three thirty. Someone will be here by seven. We may just have to wait it out unless your phone has a signal."

Ted looked at his phone and put it in his pocket. "Great. Now everyone will know who put the barf on their desks," said Ted joining Ryan on the floor.

"No, they won't. In fact, being in here will eliminate you as a suspect because the prankster trapped you in the elevator."

"Is the prankster admitting to something?" Ted asked.

"I did some of them," admitted Ryan.

"Which ones?"

"I'll tell you which ones I did if you tell me which ones you did."

"Alright, I changed the screen saver on Angela's projector once," said Ted.

"I put pictures of a naked butt in the copier's print cue once," confessed Ryan.

"I remember that. It was funny...Um, was that your..."

"No I found that picture on the internet."

"I swapped the office chairs for toilets. Was that you with the fake dog crap?"

"Yeah. I left a fresh pile in front of Eric's office just before I ran into you."

"Brilliant! He'll flip out," Ted laughed.

For a moment whey sat quietly contemplating their mischief. Then Ted asked, "Why do you do it?"

"What? The chocolate dog do?"

"No, I mean, why do you play pranks on people?"

"It's funny. I always like messing with people. I started regularly playing pranks on people when I was in high school. I guess it was my way of getting people to like me," answered Ryan.

"Yeah, putting glue on the toilet seat is a great way to make friends," said Ted.

"What I meant was that being funny got me the kind of attention I wanted. My first year of high school I told a friend I was gay and he told the whole school. Everyone started looking at me like a had rabies or something. Then one day this guy was picking on me and I made some sarcastic comment. It made the whole class laugh. From then on I wasn't just the gay kid. I was funny and eventually popular. The pranks grew out of that," Ryan explained, "Why do you do it?"

"I guess it’s a way to shake things up. Sometimes it just gets boring going through the daily routine. Get up, get dressed, go to work, go home, eat, sleep, and repeat. I know the jokes can get annoying sometimes but I try not to get on anyone's nerves too much. It works alright most of the time."

"What do you mean by most of the time?"

"My last boyfriend left me because I kept playing jokes on him. I just wanted him to notice me. He was always thinking or talking about his job. I just wanted to be alone with him sometimes but his phone was always pinging and he was always checking messages. It was like having a whole office of people on a date with us."

"That sounds horrible."

"It was," said Ted, "and the crazy thing is, I still sort of miss him."

"Maybe you just miss having a boyfriend," suggested Ryan.

"Yeah, I think that's really what it is. I don't do well alone."

Just as he finished saying this the lights in the elevator went out.

"What the -"

"The lights are on a timer. Once the elevator stops moving the countdown starts," Ted answered before the question was asked, "Can you tell I've been stuck in here before?"

"but I bet you were never stuck in here with such good company," teased Ryan.

"Good company?" asked Ted as he pulled out his phone and put it in flash light mode, "My idea of good company is a guy with a bottle of champagne and fine chocolates."

"Well now, if we're going to be picky I would prefer spending my night with someone who does not carry around a bag of vomit."

"I'll have you know that my bag has a computer in it," said Ted trying not to laugh.

"Then I would rather hang out with someone who doesn't puke on his computer," said Ryan.

Between bursts of laughter Ted answered, "At least I keep my pants on when I sit on the copier,"

"That wasn't my butt. Besides, you sit on a toilet in your cubicle."

"No such luck. The plumber took it out even though I clearly stated that I wanted the plumbing rerouted so I could flush it when I'm on speaker phone."

Ryan was laughing too now. After a few moments the laughter dissolved into a slightly awkward silence. Ryan reached into his bag and pulled out a few candy bars and offered one to Ted

"Dog crap?"

"I'd love some," said Ted.

Then they were laughing again. They ate some candy and calmed down a little. Then Ryan asked, "Do you think you'll keep doing this now that you've been caught?"

"Yeah. How about you?"

"Probably."

"We should work together."

"Partners in crime. I like it."

They began to plot their next act of mischief but eventually sitting in the dark made them sleepy and they dozed off.

A few hours later they were awakened by movement and light. As they both sat on the floor rubbing their eyes the morning assaulted their senses. A cacophony of barnyard ringtones echoed off the walls. Somewhere in the distance Eric was shouting to the janitor to clean something up. Laughter and cursing accompanied the other noises. A crowd of employees peered into the elevator and Ryan and Ted were immediately bombarded with questions.

"How long have you been there?"

"Have you been there all night?"

"Was that someone's idea of a joke? If it is it's not funny!"

Then the crowd parted as Angela came to inspect the scene and Eric followed. Angela towered over the two men still sitting on the floor. She gave them a clearly unhappy look and tapped her high healed shoe on the floor like an angry bull.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I left my phone at work and came to get it," explained Ryan, "Then I ran into Ted and we got stuck in here."

"What were you doing here?" asked Angela as she scrutinized Ted.

"I took a break to eat dinner while the data was being sorted. I got back late but I finished the job. I was about to leave when I heard something upstairs. Then I ran into Ryan. We were about to leave and then the elevator got stuck."

"So, you've been here all night?"

They both nodded and were relieved to see Angela's features soften. "OK, both of you go home and get some rest. I want you back here bright and early tomorrow. Got it?"

They both nodded and got up. Angela turned to face her gawking subordinates and they quickly dispersed. Ted and Ryan went to the stair case and began to walk down. Ryan playfully kicked the fake barf and they exchanged amused looks. As they walked down the hallway they could hear the calls of various animals and the calm voices of their IT staff explaining how to change ringtones. Other employees just arriving listened to the confusion and wondered what was going on.

Ted and Ryan finally entered the parking lot. The cool morning breeze felt good on their faces after several hours in the stuffy elevator.

"You know, I almost feel guilty getting the day off," said Ted.

"We'll make it up to them eventually," said Ryan.

"You're probably right," agreed Ted remembering how many times he had taken work home with him.

"How about getting some breakfast and celebrating our, um, common interests?" Asked Ryan

"Sounds good," answered Ted.

Then they heard a familiar voice behind them say, "What common interests?"

Monique was eyeing them with suspicion.

"We're both gay," answered Ryan.

The look of suspicion was replaced with one of surprise.

"Oh, um, good luck with that," she said and turned towards the building.

Ted and Ryan exchanged smiles knowing that the day's pranks were just the beginning of something great.