Bleeding Hearts - 19. Chapter 19

“Oh, shit!” I gasped. I could still hear the sound of the party coming from the backyard, but the distance muffled it, making it seem farther away than it was. I suddenly felt very vulnerable standing out in the street in the dark.

“Killian?” Kane sounded scared. I knew how he felt.

“Come on.” I grabbed his wrist and practically dragged him back toward the house.

“What are we going to do?” Kane whispered.

“We’re gonna call the police from the safety of the house.”

Jake spotted us as we returned to the house. “I thought you guys were leaving.”

“So did we.” My voice shook a little.

“Someone smashed out all the windows in Killian’s car,” Kane told him.

Jake gasped. “What?”

“We need to call the police and Adam, but we didn’t want to wait out there. The security light is out so we didn’t feel safe.”

“Holy shit! I’m so sorry, guys. I feel responsible since it happened while you were at our house.”

“It’s not your fault,” I replied, “It’s probably just a Halloween prank, but after everything that’s happened...”

I pulled out my phone and called the police first, then Adam. Adam sounded panicked, which didn’t help calm my jangled nerves. He said he’d be right there and hung up. He actually beat the police. He grabbed us both in a bear hug and didn’t let go until I told him I couldn’t breathe.

By then, word had spread, and many people made their escape before the cops could show up. When the police finally did arrive about half an hour after I’d called, they kept everyone who was still there in the backyard until they knew more. Soon the whole area out by the road was lit up brighter than the dance floor. I suspected they were treating the whole thing more seriously because of my stabbing back in September and Dad’s legal troubles. They worked while Adam, Kane, Jake, and I watched from a distance. Asher and Marcus joined us after a while.

Eventually, one of the officers came over to us. “Mr. Kendall?” he asked Adam.

“No, I’m Adam Connelly. Killian is staying with me while his mother is out of town.”

“Connelly?” the cop asked with raised eyebrows. “Any relation to the Connelly kid...”

“He was my son.”

“I’m sorry,” the cop said quickly. “That was insensitive. I’m Sergeant Hoetz.”

“It’s okay, Sergeant. You couldn’t know.”

He nodded. “Well, here’s what we’ve concluded so far. In light of what happened last month and how it involved Killian here, we took this more seriously than we normally would have. I mean, windows smashed at a party might be upsetting, but it isn’t an earth-shattering event. But under the circumstances...well, as you can see, we took precautions. We searched the car and the surrounding area and kept everyone on the premises who hadn’t left already. We found a scrap of material caught on a piece of glass. We may be able to match it up with one of the people still here. We’re trying to do that now. We are also taking names and releasing people as we can. We don’t want to keep everyone here all night, but things took a nasty turn when we found this in the front seat of the car.” He held up a plastic zip-lock bag with a folded piece of paper inside. “Someone threw it in after the windows were smashed. It was on top of the broken glass.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s a note.”

“What does it say?” Adam asked.

Sergeant Hoetz reached into his pocket, pulled out a pair of rubber gloves and slipped them on. Opening the bag, he drew out the note and opened it. It read: “Killian, you’d think after last time you’d learn. This is just a warning. Next time you won’t be so lucky.”

We all stood stunned as Hoetz refolded the note and sealed it back in the bag.

Adam snapped out of it first. “That proves that Seth’s death was murder, and now the killer is after Killian.”

“Mr. Connelly, calm down,” Hoetz said soothingly. “It doesn’t prove anything, necessarily. It just means that someone is unhappy with Killian and is trying to scare him. Maybe he stole someone’s girlfriend or something.”

Adam snorted. “Here we go again, huh? My son was murdered, and no one wants to do anything about it.”

“Mr. Connelly, I understand your grief, but there was no proof—”

“No. You do not understand my grief. And there’s plenty of proof, but no one will even look at it. How was that note written?”

“It was computer generated. Red ink on white paper.”

“That’s exactly like the threatening notes Seth was getting before he was murdered.”

Hoetz pulled out a notebook and jotted something on it, flipped it closed, and stuck it back in his pocket. “We’ll look into it, Mr. Connelly.”

“I hope so,” Adam said angrily. “But excuse me if I don’t have much faith in the police.”

“There’s something else,” I said, speaking up for the first time.

Everyone turned to face me.

“Go ahead, son,” Sergeant Hoetz encouraged.

“Someone approached me during the party and tried to get me off by myself. My friend Asher followed and interrupted. If he hadn’t, I don’t know what might have happened. There was something about the guy that made me uncomfortable.”

“Did you know who it was?”

“No, but he was wearing a Batman costume.”

The sergeant spoke in his radio, telling everyone to look out for a Batman costume. “Is there anything else?”

I shook my head “no” just as another officer approached Hoetz and asked to speak with him for a minute. Hoetz excused himself, and they walked off to one side where they conversed quietly with their heads together for a few minutes before he returned. “Folks, I’d like to ask you to hang around a while longer if you can. There’s a chance the person who did this is still here. We’ve got the remaining kids rounded up and we’re going to attempt to match the fabric. With a little luck, we could wrap this up tonight.”

“This is a nightmare,” Adam mumbled, rubbing his forehead.

“Do you really think it was Seth’s murderer?” Kane asked, his voice tense. “You think he was here?”

“I don’t know,” Adam sighed. “I probably shouldn’t have even let you come here tonight, with a killer still on the loose.”

Kane’s eyes were wide. “Dad, I’m scared.”

“Me too, kiddo. Me too.”

Me too, I thought. I felt a pair of arms slide around me from behind, and I jumped, twisting awkwardly to see who it was.

“It’s just me,” Asher assured me quickly.

I turned the rest of the way into him and returned the hug. I needed one.

We waited for over an hour. Asher and Marcus stayed with us the entire time. Finally, Hoetz reappeared, but judging from his deep frown, I guessed he didn’t have good news for us. I was right. “We weren’t able match the fabric sample at first glance, but that was pretty much wishful thinking anyway since so many people left before we got here. Not that there’s any lack of suspects—a couple hundred of them, to be exact. We’ve collected a list of names, which I’m sure is woefully incomplete. We’ll start calling tomorrow. Maybe someone saw something. For now, you can head on home. I appreciate you waiting around. I’ll let you know if we turn up anything.”

I sighed. Several hundred suspects didn’t sound very promising. Of course, I had my own list...with Zack and Jesse at the top.

Once we got home, Adam sent us straight to bed, but I stayed up the rest of the night thinking. I was too unnerved and had too much on my mind to get any sleep. I had more trains of thought than I had tracks, but by morning I’d come to some conclusions.

For one, I decided I was ready to come out at school. Gilly and I were through, and if Jake was right and everyone already suspected I was gay anyway, what was the point in trying to hide it. I was tired of hiding and lying. It just kept hurting people I cared about.

As a bonus, maybe my coming out would goad the killer into making a move. Sure, I was essentially offering myself as bait, but if it meant the killer might be caught, it would be worth any danger to me. At least that’s what I reasoned at four in the morning.

I also decided to confront Zack once and for all. I was feeling very reckless and angry by that point, ready for action.

Finally, I decided to give Asher another chance. I wasn’t ruling Jake out completely, but it seemed Asher was always there for me, no matter what. He was definitely proving himself to be a true friend, and isn’t that one of the things you should look for in a boyfriend?

With that last thought playing through my mind, I fell asleep just as the first rays of light broke over the horizon.

 

 

Adam let me sleep in that morning, for which I was truly grateful. I didn’t wake up until well after noon, but the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes were my resolutions from the night before. I was still tired, but I got up anyway. There were things I needed to do, and I didn’t want to put them off.

Adam and Kane were in the den but followed me into the kitchen when I went downstairs.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Adam asked.

I shrugged as I opened the cabinets and stared inside. “I don’t know. Really drained, but I did a lot of thinking last night. I made some decisions.”

“Why don’t you tell me about them while I make you breakfast,” he suggested. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of eggs and a pound of bacon.

My stomach lurched at the thought of all that greasy food. “Actually, I think I’d rather just have some cereal.”

He looked down at the eggs in his hand with a doubtful expression. “Cereal isn’t exactly comfort food.”

“I don’t think my stomach is up for that kind of comfort.”

He nodded and put the food away, pulling out a gallon of milk instead. He set it on the table and gave me a gentle push toward a seat. “Sit.” He ordered as he got me a bowl and a box of my favorite cereal.

“So what decisions did you make?” Kane asked as I poured the cereal.

I finished adding milk and took a bite before answering. “I think it’s time I faced some things instead of pretending they don’t exist.”

“What kinds of things?” Adam sat down across from me.

“I’ve decided to come out at school.”

They both stared at me in shock.

Kane recovered first. “What?”

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Adam asked with concern.

I shrugged. “I don’t really have much choice. Everyone already suspects anyway, apparently even dating Gilly didn’t change that. Add to that the fact that she practically outed me at the party last night—”

“Kane told me about that,” Adam interrupted. “I’m sorry, Killian.”

I shrugged it off. “I just think I’d rather be honest than keep pretending to be something I’m not.”

I decided not to mention my bait-and-trap strategy. I didn’t think Adam would go for it.

“I’ve never been one to encourage others to stay in the closet,” Adam said after a moment, “especially after my own experiences. I’m just worried about your safety.”

“Because of Seth?”

Adam clenched his jaw and nodded.

“I’ll be careful, Adam. Seth was all alone. I have people looking out for me.”

“Like me,” Kane said, puffing his chest out.

“And Asher, and even Marcus. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to get on stage at an assembly and announce it. I’m just going to stop pretending.”

“Still...”

“This is what I want to do.”

He stood up and walked to the counter, keeping his back to me.

Kane shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “So, uh, you said you made several decisions, right? What else did you decide?”

“I’m also going to confront Zack. I want to do that today, before I lose my nerve.”

Adam whirled around. “Absolutely not!”

I sighed. “Adam, I’m tired of being a doormat. Last night, I stood up to him for the first time and he backed right down. He’s a bully, a coward.”

“Is Zack the jerk from last night?” Kane asked. “The one in the vampire costume?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Well, you had backup last night, too.”

“What do you mean by confront him?” Adam asked.

“Just tell him to leave me alone once and for all—and all my friends. I don’t want Kane to become a target on his first day. Plus, I’d really like to find out why he hates me so much. We used to be friends...kinda. I can’t believe this is all just because he thinks I’m gay.”

“That could be all it is, though, Killian.” Adam leaned back against the counter. He looked tired and old. “Bigots don’t need any other reason to hate someone.”

“It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

“I wish you’d rethink this. It’s really not wise to provoke him right now. What if he’s the one who smashed your car windows? What if he killed Seth?”

“I don’t know. I could see him smashing my windows. That’s the kind of cowardly thing he’d do, but I just can’t see him actually killing somebody. I think he’s all bark and no bite.”

“But you don’t know that for sure, and that’s what scares me. The killer could be anyone, even someone you trust. Just because you think you know someone doesn’t mean you really do. I don’t want you taking any unnecessary chances.”

I remembered Judy’s warning that the killer was closer than I thought, and doubt began to creep in. “So you don’t think I should try to talk to Zack right now?”

“I really don’t.”

I turned to Kane for his opinion.

He shrugged. “Don’t drag me into this. I don’t even know him.”

“Fine. I won’t talk to him right now. I still think I need to confront him, but I’ll wait until it’s safer, maybe with people around.”

Adam nodded. “I can accept that.”

“Is that all?” Kane asked.

“Well, no. This one isn’t up for negotiation, though.” I shot a stern glance in Adam’s direction, causing him to look a little worried. “I’m going to give Asher another chance.”

Adam and Kane broke into twin grins. “Now that’s a decision I think I can fully support,” Adam enthused.

“Even I can tell he’s crazy about you and I’m just a dumb straight boy” Kane teased.

I laughed. “I guess I don’t make up my mind very quickly. Besides, it was complicated.”

“Speaking of complications, what are you going to do about Jake?” Adam asked.

My smile faded away. “I don’t know. I like him, but...it’s different between Asher and me. We have a history, you know? I just met Jake.”

Kane blinked. “Wait. Jake is gay, too?”

“Oops,” I said sheepishly. “Yeah, but don’t say anything. He may not want people to know.”

Kane shook his head. “I never would have guessed he was gay.”

“You should know better than to stereotype people,” Adam admonished gently.

“I didn’t mean anything by it.” He paused, then turned to me. “So is everyone at your school gay?”

I laughed again. “No. There are a thousand students at my school, and I only know three gay people, counting myself. Statistically, that’s not even close to the ten percent there should be.”

He nodded with satisfaction. “Hey, it’s not like I care. The more of you guys that are gay, the more chicks that leaves for me.”

We all cracked up, then I grew serious again. “So you guys think Asher and I make a good couple?”

Kane patted my hand. “Follow your heart, Killian. You’ll know what’s right.”

I tried not to smile at his serious tone. “Thanks, oh wise one. How’d you get so smart?”

“I dunno. Good genes, I guess.”

Adam snorted as I rolled my eyes.

“What?” Kane asked with mock innocence.

“On that note, I’ll be going,” Adam said.

“Where to?” Kane asked.

“Well, now that everyone is awake and I’m reasonably sure no one will do anything risky—” He gave me a meaningful look. “—I’m going to go check on your car. The police impounded it last night and I need to see what we have to do to get it released and repaired. While I’m there, maybe I can also see if they’ve learned anything more overnight.”

“You want me to go with you?” I offered.

“No, stay and finish your breakfast. I shouldn’t be long.”

I stared down at my now soggy cereal and made a face.

Adam left while I dumped out that bowl and started again from scratch. After I’d finished, I rinsed out the bowl and got a handful of cookies to dunk in my glass of milk.

Kane grabbed one of my cookies and dipped it in my glass.

“Hey, get your own!”

He bared his teeth, which were covered with chewed chocolate cookie.

“Lovely. Did you have fun last night?”

“You mean up until the whole car thing and that sleazeball Zack? Yeah, I really did. Everybody else seemed really nice.”

“You and Jake seemed to hit it off.”

He shot me a funny look, and I quickly added, “I meant as friends.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He smiled. “He seems really cool. I also liked Asher, by the way.”

“I think he liked you, too.”

“Well, I mean, who can blame him? I’m pretty awesome.”

I laughed. “And so humble, too.”

“Careful or I’ll steal all your boys.”

“Jake is all yours. Stay away from Asher though.”

Just then my phone started vibrating. I glanced down. “Speak of the devil, it’s Jake. You want me to tell him you want to go on a date?”

Kane stuck his tongue out at me. I was still laughing as I answered.

“Hey,” Jake said. “I was calling to see how you are, but I guess you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. I was a little shaken up last night, but I’m fine. It’s just some glass, right? I’m not going to let some psycho get to me. How about you? What’s going on there?”

“The police are still here. They came back this morning to search the grounds, even the house, because people could come and go as they pleased. My parents are not happy, let me tell you.”

“It’s not exactly your fault.”

“Oh, I know. That doesn’t mean they aren’t mad, though. This place is a total wreck. Usually, we would have all day today to clean, but they had to come back early with all the drama. I’m sure we’ll still have to clean it all up, but that’ll have to wait until the cops leave.”

“All this just because somebody broke my windows?”

“Well, that plus apparently Zack is missing, too.”

“Missing?”

“Yeah, Mrs. Phillips, his mom, called earlier. He never went home last night and he’s not with Jesse. She called him first, but he said he left Zack at the party when the cops arrived. Mrs. Phillips mom wanted to see if he crashed here, but we haven’t seen him since last night, so he called the cops, and now they’re looking for him, too.”

“I’m sure he’ll turn up. You can’t get rid of cockroaches that easily.”

Jake snorted. “True. Anyway, sorry the party ended on such a rotten note for you.”

“Again, not your fault. We had a great time except for that.”

“And the whole mess with Gilly.”

“Oh yeah. That too. Thanks for reminding me.”

“And Zack and Jesse’s usual bullshit.”

“You know, maybe I didn’t have such a great time...”

He laughed. “Hey, the police are banging on the door. I’d better go see what’s going on.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later. And if you need any help cleaning up, call me and I’ll give you hand.”

“Thanks, but, uh, you’re probably not the most popular person around our house right now, so that might not be such a good idea. Later, Killer.”

“Bye.”

“Who’ll turn up?” Kane asked as soon as I hung up.

“Huh?”

“You said somebody would turn up and something about cockroaches.”

“Oh. Zack. Apparently, he didn’t go home last night. Probably found a new bridge to sleep under like the troll he is.”

Kane snickered.

“I should probably call Asher. I’d really like to see him today.” I waited but Kane didn’t move. “Don’t you have something to do?” I asked.

He raised one eyebrow, a gesture I’d seen Adam make many times. “Why? You want to be left alone so you can call your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” I felt my face flush.

“Not yet anyway. You know, you could just go to our room instead of kicking me out of the kitchen.”

Once again, he had a point. I was about to run upstairs when my phone started ringing again. It was Adam.

“Killian?” Adam sounded tense. “Listen carefully and don’t argue, okay?”

“Um, okay.”

“Good. After we hang up, lock all the doors and check the windows and don’t go anywhere until I get home.”

“What? Why? What’s going on?”

“Just do as I said.”

“I will, but, Adam, what’s going on? You can’t just say that and not explain. You’re really scaring me.”

“I’m sorry, Killian. I’m at the police station, and it’s total chaos here. They just found Zachary Phillips’ body floating in the creek behind the Sheridan’s house.”

The phone suddenly became heavy, and my arm slowly dropped to my side. I could still hear Adam’s voice squawking, but I no longer understood what he was saying.

As if from a distance, I heard Kane asking me what was wrong. I felt him come up behind me and gently take the phone from my hand. I heard him talking to Adam, asking him what was going on, when he’d be home.

The next thing I knew, he was standing in front of me. “Killian, snap out of it. I need your help.”

He shook me by the shoulders, and I forced myself to focus on him.

“Why are you acting like this? Didn’t you, like, hate that guy? You were planning to tell him off just a little while ago.”

I shook my head to clear it. “I’ve known him since we were kids. We grew up together. I was saying such terrible things about him, and now he’s gone. Another murder?”

Kane’s eyebrows jumped up. “Hey, don’t jump to conclusions. All Dad said was that they found Zack dead in the creek. That doesn’t mean he was murdered. Maybe he got drunk and fell in and drowned. There was plenty of alcohol there, even though it wasn’t technically allowed. Someone even offered me some. Also, why would anyone want to kill Zack?”

“You mean besides the fact that he was jerk? He was killed. I’m sure of it. It’s just too much to be a coincidence. I just know that this is bad—very bad.”

“Of course it’s bad. It’s always bad when a kid dies. But worry about that later. I need your help. Dad wants us to lock all the doors and windows.”

“Huh?” The abrupt change of subject confused me.

“That’s what he said.”

“Did he say why?”

“No. He just said to lock them.”

“Does he have a reason to think we’re in danger?”

“He didn’t say.” Kane suddenly sounded nervous. “I didn’t think to ask him.”

“He must know something we don’t. Come on. We’d better do as he said.”

We went around the house, locking and checking all the doors and windows on the first floor—and, after some thought, the windows on the second floor as well, just to be safe. Maybe we’d watched too many horror movies, but by the time we were finished we’d thoroughly spooked ourselves.

“We need some way to protect ourselves,” Kane insisted.

“Like what?” I asked.

“I dunno. Oh wait! I know.” Kane ran upstairs, returning a minute later with his baseball bat.

“Well, you’re ready for any fastballs, at least.”

“Hey, I can do some serious damage with this thing.”

“I’m sure, but what about me? Have an extra catcher’s mitt?”

He rolled his eyes. “Make fun of me all you want, but when I bash some creep’s brains in, you’ll thank me.”

Suddenly, the absurdity of the situation hit me, and I started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Kane sounded a little insulted.

“It’s broad daylight. What do we think is going to happen? We let Adam freak us out, and, sure, we should be cautious and all, but I’m not going to live my life in fear.”

Kane grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’ll go put this away before Dad gets home.”

“Nah, let’s hang on to it. Doesn’t hurt to have it nearby.”

“I’ll leave it by the door then, how about that?”

“That works.”

He stood the bat in the corner, and we headed into the den, where we turned on the TV to distract ourselves. Kane chose an action movie with a lot of car chases, but my mind quickly wandered back to Zack.

I still couldn’t believe he was dead. Sure, he’d always been a bit of a jerk, and lately had been an outright asshole, but we’d still grown up together. I’d known him since first grade when he decided that him, me, Jesse and Asher would all be friends whether we liked it or not. Even back then, he was the ringleader, Jesse was his devoted sidekick, and Asher and I just went along with whatever he wanted because it was easier than arguing. That had remained our dynamic until...well, until Seth showed up, really.

Everything changed after Seth’s arrival. Although, to be fair, I guess he really just changed me. My burgeoning friendship with Seth made me see Zack differently, made me stand up to him, causing the first real friction our dysfunctional friend group had ever faced. And it didn’t stand up to even that little bit of conflict before the entire house of cards fell apart.

Even with all his stupidity and bullying, though, I hadn’t wished him dead. I just wanted him to leave me alone, or, even better, grow up and stop being such a dumbass. But there I was, saying all those awful things, calling him a cockroach and a troll, and he was dead the entire time. A wave of guilt washed over me.

My thoughts must have shown clearly on my face. “What’s wrong?” Kane asked after one look in my direction.

“Just thinking about Zack. I feel really bad for saying all those mean things about him while he was dead.”

“Did him dying make him less of a jerk while he was alive?”

“No, but still...I was always taught that you don’t speak ill of the dead.”

Kane rolled his eyes. “Please. If you didn’t like him when he was alive, why pretend he was some great person now that he’s dead? Besides, you didn’t know he was dead when you were saying that stuff.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. Do you want to watch something else? You don’t seem very into Fast and Furious...whatever number we’re up to?”

“No, watch whatever you want. I think I’ll go take a shower before Adam gets home.”

Kane nodded approvingly. “Good. I wasn’t going to say anything, but you stink.”

I tossed a pillow in his direction and went upstairs.

Adam was home by the time I’d finished and gotten dressed. He and Kane were talking quietly in the den when I came back down. They both looked up and fell silent when I entered.

“What?” I demanded.

“What do you mean?” Adam asked carefully.

“You stopped talking when I walked in the room. You must have been discussing me.”

Adam and Kane exchanged glances, then looked back at me.

“Sit down, Killian,” Adam said.

This wasn’t going to be good. No conversation that started with the words “sit down” was ever good. I crossed the room and sat on the couch next to Kane.

“Does this have to do with Zack?” I asked.

“Yes. I didn’t want to go into it over the phone. I wanted to tell you in person.”

“He was murdered, wasn’t he?”

Adam swallowed and took a deep breath. “Yes, Zack was murdered. His throat was cut, just like Seth’s. Obviously, there’s a lot we don’t know yet, and won’t know until they do an autopsy, but it’s a little much to be a coincidence. It’s hard to believe that we have two killers running around this little town slashing the throats of teenage boys. The police don’t understand yet what the connection could be, but they’re taking it very seriously this time. They do think it was Zack that either broke your windows or left the note or maybe both. The fabric fragment that the police found matched a tear in Zack’s costume.”

“But that doesn’t make sense. If Zack was the killer, who killed him? And if he wasn’t, why would he leave the note?”

“As I said, the police are working on it. Now that they’re taking the case seriously, it’s not up to us to figure it out anymore. As of right now, I want you to stay out of this, completely and totally, and until they catch this killer, I want to know where you are at all times. I don’t want you going anywhere alone and nowhere after dark, period. You’re to come directly home after school.”

“But I—”

“But nothing, Killian. I don’t want you involved.”

“I’m already involved.”

“And I was an idiot to allow it. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. I... I wasn’t thinking clearly, that’s for sure. This is a cold-blooded murderer we’re talking about. He’s already killed two boys, one of whom was my son. You and Kane are all I have left. I don’t think I could bear to lose either of you at this point. I couldn’t bear it! Do you understand what I’m saying?”

I sat stunned for a second as the impact of what Adam had just said sank in, then I was off the couch and throwing my arms around Adam in a tight hug. After a few beats, I felt Kane slide in next to me to complete the group hug.

After a bit, I pulled away. “Okay. I’ll stay out of it from here on out.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, I promise. I should probably call Asher before he sees this on the news.”

Adam nodded. “Good idea.”

I quickly dialed Asher’s number. He picked up right away.

“Hey! I was just thinking about you. I almost called earlier but didn’t want to wake you if you were still asleep. Are you okay?”

“Um, well, I’m okay, but something else has happened.”

“What?”

“Ash, Zack is dead.”

The line was dead quiet.

“Asher?”

“How?”

“He was murdered. Last night at the party. His throat was cut, just like Seth. The police found him this morning in the creek.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Are you okay?”

He was quiet for a few second, then said, “We’ve been friends since elementary school. Sure, he was a jerk sometimes, but he was still my friend.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Are you by yourself?”

“No, Kane and Adam are here.”

“Can you come over?”

“Hang on. I’ll ask.”

I checked with Adam who flatly said he didn’t want me to leave the house, but that Asher was welcome to come over.

I reported back to Asher. “He said I can’t go, but you can come here.”

“I’m on my way.”

When Asher arrived, Kane was playing video games in the den and Adam was on the phone in the living room—I think talking to Steve—so we went up to the bedroom for privacy.

Once alone, Asher enveloped me in a tight hug.

“I can’t believe Zack is gone,” he said.

“I know. It’s wild. I don’t think it’s even sank in yet.”

He let go and sat on the edge of my bed. “Poor Jesse. He must be devastated. Do you think we should check on him?”

I made a face.

“What?” Asher asked.

“Look, I know it might sound insensitive or whatever, but after what Zack and Jesse put me through the last few weeks, not to mention what they put Seth through before that, I don’t really care how Jesse is feeling.”

“Killian!”

“What?”

“He’s still our friend.”

“Maybe he’s your friend, but he stopped being mine when he called me a faggot and tried to beat me up.”

“Damn. That’s harsh.”

“Is it? In case you forgot, he did beat you up.”

Asher cringed. “So you don’t care at all that Zack is dead?”

“Of course I care. But like Kane said to me earlier, there’s no point pretending he wasn’t an asshole. He was a bully, and he made my life miserable. I hated his guts.”

He frowned. “Better be careful who you say that around. It could make you a suspect.”

I gasped. “I didn’t— I wouldn’t— I was with you the entire time!”

“I know you didn’t do it, Kill. I’m just mean you should be careful what you say around other people.”

It hadn’t even occurred to me that I might be a suspect. “Just because I hated him doesn’t mean I wanted him to get murdered.”

“I know. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sure you’re not a suspect. Murdered. God. It could have been any of us.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe Zack was targeted for some reason. Maybe he was bullying somebody else and they got fed up with it. We don’t know anything really.”

He stood up and started pacing. “That’s just it. We don’t know. Any of us could be targeted because you’re being targeted.”

“What do you mean?”

“That guy in the Batman costume, your broken windows, the note. You’re in danger. Maybe you always were and I was just naive, but it seems more real now. And if you’re in danger, that means anyone who is close to you is at risk, too.”

I hadn’t thought about it like that. I was fine with being reckless with my own life, but not people I cared about. The idea of something happening to Adam, Kane, Asher, even Jake, because of me was terrifying. I didn’t know what to say, though, so I just dropped down onto Kane’s bed.

He paused in front of me. “What if I hadn’t shown up when I did?” he went on. “What if that guy killed you instead of Zack?”

“But it wasn’t me, Ash. I’m right here. We don’t even know if those things were connected”

“But what about next time? What if it is you next time?”

“Now you’re starting to sound like Adam. He won’t even let me leave the house. I mean, I get it, but we can’t live our lives in constant fear.”

He resumed pacing. “We have to, Kill. At least until they catch him. You need to take this seriously.”

“I am taking it seriously, but I refuse to let this asshole scare me.”

He stopped and glared at me. “You should be scared! We should all be scared. I’m scared shitless.”

“If we’re scared then he wins.”

“This isn’t a game! It’s not about winning or losing. It’s about surviving.”

“Why are you so mad at me?”

“I’m not. I mean, maybe I am a little. I just don’t understand why you’re being so blasé about this.”

“I don’t understand why you’re freaking out.”

“Because I don’t want to lose you, you idiot!”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that!” he yelled. He took a deep shaky breath, then turned away from me and started again. “I don’t know that. Zack died last night. You could have died last night. You could have died in that park. What if your Dad had killed you in his rage? If something happened to you... If I lost you, I’d never have been able to tell you how crazy I am about you. I would have never had the chance to tell you how I feel about you.”

“You’ve told me before.”

“No, I haven’t. Not really.”

“Oh.’ I got up and walked around to stand facing him. “Well, I’m here now.”

His eyes met mine, and I could see they were filled with fear and...something I couldn’t quite identify.

“I love you, Killian,” he said.

I blinked. “You... you what?”

“I love you. I love you so much it hurts. I love you so much that I hated Seth when I thought you were getting close to him. I love you so much it drove me into a jealous rage when you started dating Gilly. I love you so much I felt like you’d ripped out my heart and stomped on it when you said you’d kissed Jake. I love you much that I overlooked all that just to be close to you, because, even if I couldn’t have you, I still wanted to be a part of your life. And, right now, I love you so much that even the idea of losing you makes me feel like I’m losing my mind.”

I took a step closer to him. “You love me?”

“I just said so, didn’t I?”

“I... I love you, too.”

His eyes widened in shock. “You do?”

“Yeah, I had already decided that I was going to ask you to be my boyfriend today.”

“You were?”

“Yeah. You can ask Adam and Kane. I told them as soon as I woke up.”

“But what about Gilly?”

“I think it’s safe to say I’m single after last night.”

“And Jake?”

“I hope we can all be friends, but I don’t feel for him what I feel for you.”

“I think I can live with that.”

“So is that a yes? Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“I want to be your boyfriend more than anything I’ve ever wanted. And, I promise, this time I don’t care who knows. I’ll scream it from the roof. I’ll put it on social media. I’ll put out a press release...”

I laughed and slid my arms around his neck. “No need for all that. I’ve got all I need right here.”

For the first time since he’d arrived, a hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “So...we’re dating then? Officially?”

I pulled him close until our chests pressed together, then kissed him softly but firmly. As I pulled away, his eyes stayed closed, but his lips were curled into a big smile. “Yes,” I said. “It’s official.”

His hand slid up behind my neck and he pulled me back in for another kiss, this one a lot longer and much more sensual.

The next time we broke away, his eyes were open and filled with a mix of wonder, happiness and lust.

He grinned. “I missed this.”

“Me too,” I said, then I leaned forward and kissed my boyfriend again.