Letting Go - 3. Chapter 3

"Hi sweety, so... probably you are still sleeping," Elliot's call lead him to Keith's voice mail, "I'm just wondering if you still remember our plan for tomorrow, you know, Dr. Quentin's invitation... anyway, let me know when you are up, last two days were a blast, at least the part I could remember. I'm sure you need your beauty sleep. By the way, you sure you... Uhmmm... never mind. I'll... See you."

Elliot clicked off his phone. He had wanted to ask Keith again to come to his show tonight in Brown's Hotel, but the last time he checked, Keith was going to a club in Soho with his ex-boyfriend Dustin, even though he wasn’t so happy about it but Keith had insisted.

 

Elliot knew that recently he and Keith were not going too well, sometimes Keith was very sweet and urge them to doing things alone together, but from time to time Keith would also switch off the needs and detach himself from him. Elliot tried not to be too obvious with his feelings on this matter, so he had never talked about it with Keith. What tortured him most was on every stage when this relationship seemed to be going deeper, he felt uneasy and could not totally devote himself in it, even though he had never doubted his love for Keith. He kept all these to himself because he was afraid those feelings would drive Keith away from him, he could not imagine that to happen.

 

Elliot put his phone on the Ash Burl Home Office Credenza Desk and went up to the window in his practice room. It was almost impossible for Elliot to focus on anything else when Keith came to his mind and it was so torturous to think Keith was going to have fun with his ex, and for sure they were going to get totally wasted, who knew what else could happen. Perhaps with the drive of alcohol and vertiginous spinning light, Keith would suddenly realize it was a mistake to have broken up with Dustin and there was no better time than a drunken and hallucinogenical night to get back together.

 

And oh the recover-sex, or maybe they were already doing it all the time. Elliot lost control of his racing mind again, and tried to pull himself away from these ridiculous thoughts. Even after two years, Elliot still got easily jealous about Keith.

 

*

 

Keith checked his voice mail. His cell phone had been lying beside him all the time, he just wished Elliot might accidentally say something which he was too shy to let out when talking directly in person or on the phone, things like "I really wish you could come to my show".

 

Keith had no idea why he told Elliot he was going out with his ex when he actually had no desire of going out with him at all when Dustin had suggested. He was angry that Elliot always seemed to be holding back, he had asked why, but Elliot only had said that he was sorry and he would try harder.

 

"Maybe this shall teach him a lesson for being such a coward. He's acting like 'ok now I'm lying on your bed naked, I will not ask you to do anything but I'm expecting you to do everything.'" Keith tossed his phone angrily back on the bed after listening to Elliot's message, "Why does he think that I had suggested this one week traveling in Barcelona only two of us last month and stayed with him for one month in Copenhagen during his academic exchange!" Keith felt in love with Elliot after the first night they had met, not long after that they had had their first kiss, the relationship was going great at the beginning, they had always missed each other tremendously once they had been apart from each other, and they both had been surprised how fast they were falling in love. But the honeymoon stage next lasted long, and from time to time Keith felt Elliot had been distant, Keith had asked Elliot if he was having doubts but all Elliot had said was he really loved him and he felt sorry to make him feel this way, but the conversation never went deeper and that irritated Keith a lot. But Keith loved Elliot so much he thought maybe Elliot was just not comfortable with talking about feelings, and eventually he would show with action, so he continued to love him and waited.

 

But now Keith felt frustrated at Elliot after listening to his voice mail.

 

"you sure you... Uhmmm never mind? It's even more irritating than not saying anything at all!"

 

That's it! Keith checked his phone contact list and dialed a number.

 

"Hey Dustin! Maybe a tiny little change for tonight's plan, let's drop by another place tonight before clubbing"

 

When the prince decides to play, since when has he ever let the audience buy the ticket in vain?