The Best Year - 53. Chapter 53

The horn rang out and I dove off the block, the cool water hitting every nerve in my skin. Under the water, it was muddled silence. The violence of ten pairs of feet kicking hadn’t erupted yet and the swollen crowd couldn’t be heard at all. Kicking underwater, I knew I had to be fast. Tony told me not to push beyond what I could do in the first fifty, but this was the last event of the long weekend. It was what I had been waiting for, the entire night before it melted away and as I surfaced. Breathing, I fell into my freestyle with Pete looming next to me. This was the first time we had ever gone side by side in the pool with only a lane divider separating us.

The water was a choppy mess and I knew no clean water was going to come and I also knew Oliver lurked somewhere in the pool as well. I didn't have to worry about either one of them, not really, just myself and reaching the wall as fast as I could. I sped up my pace anyway and I saw myself edging just ahead of Pete as we all closed within the final meters of the half lap down the pool. I could feel the wave of both swimmers on either side of me, but I looked for the wall. When I found it, I tucked my head and when my hand touched, I twisted under the water as I turned. The eruption of bubbles and the impact of momentum driven water slammed into me as I started kicking under the water. I didn’t look around, now was the time I needed to let loose and just swim. That was Rick’s go to words, they got a little more colorful as I got older. ‘Just swim the fucking fifty,’ echoed in my head and when I surfaced I started kicking. Pete was still there, the other guy on my other side had fallen to about my shoulder. He could have been a closer, I didn't know.

Pressing on, I increased my strokes, breathing more to keep oxygen flowing, I didn’t feel the strain of the long day and a bad breaststroke I usually did by now. Smiling briefly despite not knowing what was going to happen, I looked for the wall just as Pete surged up beside me. Feeling him there I took a needed breath and tucked my head, kicking harder, as the last few meters hit me in the chest, I dove for the wall. When my hand slammed into it, I surfaced gasping for air as I ripped my goggles and cap off. Breathing quickly, I looked around, the crowd was a roar as I reached up and rubbed the water out of my eyes. Not seeing Emily leaned over the edge of the pool waiting for me, I looked up at the screen as the replays started.

“Hey man, great race,” Pete said and when I turned to look at him, he nodded.

“Yeah, thanks,” I offered as we both looked up just as the crowd’s roar intensified and I saw that the tip of my finger had just edged Pete out. Seeing that, I punched the water and yelled.

“Clean race,” the steward said and that’s when I noticed they had broken from a small huddle to return to their designated blocks. Hearing the words, brought Emily back to life as she appeared with a towel as I climbed out of the pool.

“What’s going on?” I asked as she handed me a towel before wrapping me into a hug that jarred me as she jumped around. Smiling, I wrapped my arms around her and picked her off the ground.

“They couldn’t determine second and third, it was too damn close,” she said and when I looked up I saw Oliver’s name sitting in third. The times were identical between his and Pete’s down past too many decimal positions for me to wrap my head around right now.

“Good job, Jackson,” Tony said after Emily finally let me go after I put her back on the ground. Tony had let her keep me there as other swimmers and coaches shuffled past us. He clapped me on the shoulder and I looked past him to see Charlie, Drae, Shay, and Tara waiting where we had left them before the race started. Matt and Aiden were walking back to their stations, talking with one another.

It was weird as I closed the distance between them. I knew I was about to be pounced, so I couldn’t help smiling. This was coming to an end though, quickly. We had just a few more practices together, then the State invitational. After that, like one breath from the next it will all be over. I’ll be graduating high school and finalizing my enrollment into Georgia and into completely unknown territory for me. Every time my head landed on the thought my heart would pick up a quicker pace.

Crossing the invisible line, Charlie got to me first. He was still dressed and ready in his racing shorts. Drae had pulled on his warm up jacket, and both girls were fully dressed, their hair both in fly away curls. After Charlie though, they swarmed me with Drae hovering a shoulder above all of us, and I felt his strong hand slamming against my shoulder.

“Best race of the year, dude,” Charlie said as he broke the hug. “You made me a rich man tonight.”

“Right,” I said, shaking my head as we separated. The Stewards were wanting us away from the pool, and regionals officially ended after my event anyway. Looking around the place, the crowd had thinned and was still funneling down the bleachers from both the upper and lower deck. Looking up, the screen was already black.

“You couldn’t have made it any closer,” Tara said as she stepped up to replace Charlie as he fell away and started elbowing Drae who had already started back towards the station.

“Not like I tried to,” I said as Shay fell into step on my other side.

“I wish I had bet on you,” she said as she pressed herself against my side.

“Real friends bet on them,” I said smiling as I looked down at her.

“Not when I’m saving up for a new ride, shithead,” she said and I felt her hair hit my arm as she shook her head.

“Well you could have been a whole forty closer to that new ride, but you didn’t believe in me,” I countered and when she reached up and snatched my towel, I didn’t wait around and took off running. I heard her flip-flops slapping the concrete behind me, but when we reached the station and got a withering look from Tony, she stopped just short of cracking my ass with the towel again.

“Double check the station before you all go get changed,” Tony ordered as he bent over and started picking up a neglected pair of goggles. Charlie gently snatched them out of his grip and shoved them into his bag as he passed us and started towards the locker rooms. “Jackson, go get your picture with the medal, they’re waiting.”

“Shit,” I hissed and when I looked over my shoulder, I saw Pete and Oliver standing a space apart from one another. Oliver was smiling, holding up a medal. When the photographer was finished, he turned and I watched him say something to Pete. If Pete heard him, he didn’t answer. Seeing me, Oliver smiled again, his dimples more prominent now that I was closer.

“There he is,” the photographer said. She was a thin woman with strawberry blond hair. Her assistant handed me the medal, it was heavy in my hand. We’ll be getting replicas of these in the mail in a couple weeks, or months if they dragged their feet about it. I had a drawer dedicated to these things, I was proud of a few of them.

Stepping up, I stood between Pete and Oliver and smiled as she snapped a few pictures as the cold metal settled on my chest. It didn’t have time to warm or for my brain to forget it was there before she smiled and waved her hand, dismissing us to review her footage.

“That was a hell of a race,” Oliver said as Pete broke away from us and I glanced over to see him heading back towards their station.

“Yeah,” I said as I turned back to him, smiling when I saw him offering me his hand. When I shook it, I let go and he let his hand drop back to his side.

“Well, see you at State,” he said and I nodded feeling a little lame that I didn’t have much to say to him. I was still coming down from the high of the last race, the rest of the evening hadn’t hit me, it usually does later on when I thought back on it.

Wanting to be home, knowing I had secret Monday plans with Luke, I hurried back to our station, where Tony stood guard over my things. Mine was the last bag and Emily was nowhere to be found, but I knew she was ushering the rest of us back to our bus. It was going to be a couple hours worth of a ride to get back and a late night getting home.

“Got everything?” Tony asked as I grabbed up my bag and zipped to closed as I slipped into my flip-flops.

“Hope so,” I answered and when he frowned I smirked and looked around the chair I sat in.

“How do you feel?” Tony asked as he held his hand out, his ever present clipboard tucked under his arm. I stepped around my chair and out of our station heading towards the locker rooms.
“I feel alright,” I answered and when he smiled and shook his head, I knew I didn’t give him the right answer, but I doubt I had all season.

“You don’t act like you just swept the hell out of a few great swims,” he said as he clapped my shoulder, just hard enough for me to take a side step to keep my balance.

“It will hit me later,” I said, glancing over at him.

“Hold up a minute,” he said and when I stopped and turned to face him he smiled again. I watched his mustache wiggle as he thought over his words. It had a few more gray hairs in it than it did at the start of my time swimming at his center. “Now, I’ve already talked to Drae and Aiden, so don’t go on thinking you’re getting special treatment.”

“I won’t, since you’re not yelling,” I said and when he laughed and took his glasses off, I saw a tear fall and I glanced towards the locker room doors as he wiped his cheek.

“Emily is going to be a lot worse, so prepare yourself for that,” he said and I turned back to see him smiling. “You’ve been a pain to coach, if I’m being honest. You tested me, but I watched you grow so much in the short time we’ve had. You’re going to do great things in Georgia, I can only take a little bit of that credit, but most of it will be because of you. I hope to have a lot more swimmers like you. I think you definitely have it in you to be something special.”

“Damn,” I said as I sucked in a breath and let it out. “What did you say to Drae and Aiden if mine was this good?”

“Don’t make me regret this conversation,” he said, cocking an eyebrow as he slid back on his glasses. “We still have State to get through, and I don’t like eating my words.”

“I’ll try not to, no promises,” I said, holding up my free hand.

“Go get changed, we’re late,” he said as he shook his head trying not to smile.

Dismissed, I turned and walked through the locker room door smiling and fighting the sting in my eyes that had nothing to do with chlorine. The locker room wasn’t empty though, there were still a few guys changing. Dropping my bag at the bench, I grabbed a new towel, not knowing what Shay did with my old one. I pulled off my shorts, stepping out of my flip flops as I stepped out of them. Picking them up, I placed them on the bench and unzipped my bag, then I fumbled around until I found my t-shirt, boxer briefs, and jeans. I had a pair of sneakers and a pair of socks somewhere at the bottom, but I didn’t want to fuck with it.

Zipping it back up, I looked up to see Oliver coming out of a bathroom stall. Holding his bag, he smiled at me as I pulled on my shirt. Being just a few of stragglers left, I felt the smile more than I usually did when we were all in different states of undress. I was the last one, so I was still the most naked and when I quickly stepped into my boxer briefs, Oliver walked up to me.

“Hey,” he said as he readjusted his bag over his shoulder. “I forgot to ask, you’re a senior, right?”

“Yeah,” I answered as I grabbed my jeans and stepped into one leg of them before I sat down on the bench, turning my back to him.

“Do you know where you’re swimming in college, yet?” He asked and I couldn’t help smiling at the thought of Georgia.

“University of Georgia,” I said as I pulled the other leg of my jeans up and over my knees before I stood and pulled them the rest of the way up.

“Oh, nice,” he said as I turned back to him. “I might have to add that school to my list.”

“Are you a senior?” I asked and when he nodded I grabbed up my bag.

“I’m undecided, I have a few offers, but I’m dragging my feet,” he said smiling. “My Dad is in the Marines, so we’ve been moving around a lot, this is my first season here.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling my face flush, feeling lame. “I’ll let my coach Scott know that you could be looking at Georgia.”

“Good, Georgia is a decent school, sucks they have a new coach, but I heard he’s good,” he said and I nodded knowing Tony was probably getting more pissed off by the second. I wished I knew more about Scott, where he came from, and what his credentials were. I was always more focused on Georgia and getting Luke there, now that I had the offer and it was all almost final I felt I had more time to breathe and get to know what I was getting myself into.

“I better get going, I’m usually late,” I said and when he smiled, I saw him pull a piece of paper from his pants pocket. Unlike me, he opted to stay in his warm up suit. He probably had a t-shirt under his jacket, but it was zipped so I couldn’t really tell.

“Here’s my number,” he said and when I looked down at it, I didn’t reach for it immediately.

“I have a boyfriend,” I blurted and when he laughed I looked back up at him.

“Well that’s good for you, man,” he countered as he stretched his hand out further trying not to laugh. “I just think you’re cool and we should hang out.”

“Oh fuck me,” I groaned as I took the piece of paper from him wanting to turn and bolt from the locker room. Someone had just turned off the showers around the corner and I heard them laughing. Odds on favorite it was Pete and I didn’t want to look him in the face right now.

“Have a good one, man,” he said as he started walking again.

“Yeah, you too,” I added as he stepped out of the locker room and I grabbed up my bag, swearing at myself as I tossed the towel into the hamper in the corner.

Leaving the locker room, I saw Tony tap his watch and I shook my head, knowing that was the exact reaction I expected from him when he saw me. Oliver was a distant figure walking towards the exit and the only people left around were a few stewards and pool attendants working on getting the pools squared away for the night. Janitors were inspecting the damage and security were going around rounding up the last few people still left.

Following Tony as he set a brisk pace, we found the exit and our bus was pulled up in a designated parking area. Emily was standing outside of it and when she saw me, she rolled her eyes, but smiled before climbing inside.

The air was a lot cooler out here, but I took some deep breaths of fresh air and gave one quick glance back towards the building before climbing onto the bus, thankful that traffic had thinned completely, now that we were later than what Tony wanted us to be.

I didn’t expect to fall asleep on the bus ride back to the Center, but I woke up to Emily nudging me awake. Glancing up at her as I stretched she offered me a smile and I looked around to see Charlie waking up some of the girls. Standing, knowing I had a bit of driving to get through before I could collapse on my bed, I snatched up my bag. After giving a short wave to Charlie I walked out of the bus and right to my car, fishing my keys out of my bag as I went. Finding them, I pressed the unlock button on my key and opened the driver’s side door.

Slinging my bag to the back seat, I slid into the front and closed the door behind me. Starting the car, I leaned back and sighed before sliding on my seatbelt. Looking out at the darkened Aquatic center, it finally hit me that I wouldn’t have too many more trips back up here. That it would be over and Tony and Emily would be moving on and I’ll be in Georgia. It hit me squarely in the chest and I sucked in a breath, more excited than sad. A few months was what separated me from my dream of getting out of this place. The only bits of unfinished business I had left was convincing Luke to follow my ass out of this town too. Graduation was pretty much in the bag, I just had to walk down the aisle, wait through speeches I didn’t give two breaths about and then I’d be free. I wasn’t even all that worried about State, I had already accomplished more than I usually did at these end of season championships. Rick never made me go to the one or two swimming clubs around here, he worked with me during the summer. He was bored, not having football for a while, and I had been just driven enough to work through my hangovers and late nights out to show my ass up. The practices weren’t the best, but they were something.

When the bus driver wheeled around the bus and left the parking lot, I blinked as more and more headlights joined mine in lighting up the front of the building as I idled. Tony had walked inside the Center with Jackie, his arm cradling her against him. Emily was like the rest of us, retrieving vehicles and leaving.

Backing out of my spot, I made for home, my mind on autopilot on roads that had become second nature this year and after the usual just under an hour drive, I was pulling into my driveway. I had been surprised at not receiving any text messages, I at least thought Luke would have congratulated me by now, but he hadn’t. It was a late night though, and I knew his trip to Regionals wasn’t Cindy approved. I didn’t know what he had waiting for him, but when my headlights hit the front porch, I saw him sitting on the front steps. The door was closed behind him, but the lights were on in the living room. Mom was still awake and Dad would be in before too much longer. Seeing him, my heart hit another gear for a few seconds and I fumbled with the keys as I killed the engine.

Neglecting my bag in the back seat, I slid out of the car. Closing my door as I walked up the sidewalk, I didn’t stop, I didn’t slow down my pace. He had stood up and took the step down off the bottom step after I shut the car off and he only had time to smile before I crashed into him. I ended up having to steady him, not judging how close he was to the bottom step still and I didn’t want us crashing up the stairs. That would have brought Mom to the front door or looking out the window.

After I was sure he wasn’t going to fall, I reached up and grabbed the back of his head and kissed him. I felt him tense under my touch, but his lips responded after he let out a breath through his nose and I groaned when he broke the kiss.

“Someone missed me,” he said, his voice a whisper that hit my face.

“Fuck yeah I did,” I said and when he smiled again I went in for another kiss and this time he reached up and grabbed a fistfull of my shirt. It was reckless out here on a sidewalk, not around the corner and hidden by trees. The front porch light was on, but never bright enough to really give much light past the front porch at all. Being late spring, the undergrowth and trees had at least leafed out and put up the natural barrier between my house and his again. When I broke the kiss and looked over, none of the light from their porchlight penetrated through like it did in the middle of winter.

“I better get home,” he said as his hands fell back to his sides. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Thanks for that,” I said and he laughed hearing the whine in my voice. Him being here had more than one effect on me.

“You’ll be alright,” he countered as he stepped backwards up the front step so that he had space to get around me, as I had refused to move. “That was a great race, the last one. Grace was squeezing my hand so hard I thought she was going to rip it from my wrist.”

“Her pregnant woman strength is fucking scary,” I said smiling when he held up his hand and stretched out his fingers.

“See you tomorrow morning, don’t forget and go to school,” he said and I blinked remembering his sneaky Monday plans text from earlier.

“What are we going to be doing tomorrow?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow. We had already disassembled the sex attic. Mom hadn’t told me of any appointments or doctor visits to get her out of the house, and I doubted Cindy would have approved of him skipping out on any Mondays since he started Kindergarten.

“Surprise,” he said smiling.

“How much trouble will you be in?” I asked and when he smirked briefly, I knew I had just threatened to ruin the last few moments of our time out here on my sidewalk.

“A lot if I’m found out,” he answered shrugging as he stepped past me and back down the last stair. “Goodnight, you look tired.”

“Still fucking sexy though, right?” I asked, catching his arm to stop him.

“Probably, it has been a few days,” he answered and I watched him smile as what he said finally hit the still thinking part of my brain.

“Watch it, or I’ll have to prove it to you,” I said and when his smile faded and he leaned in, I kissed him still awkwardly half turned away from him.

“I gotta go,” he groaned, breaking the kiss again. “We have an early start tomorrow, I’ll see you at seven?”

“Seven, that’s earlier than school,” I sighed knowing it was hovering just past midnight as it was.

“You could sleep in and go to school,” Luke offered, but smiled, he knew by now that he had me. I would follow him anywhere he wanted me to go, especially if it was sneaky and my curious-to-a-fault ass wouldn’t allow me to do anything else.

“Alright then, seven it is,” I said and when he nodded I turned and watched him walk a few steps down the sidewalk before stepping off it and breaking towards the treeline. He was an indistinct black shadow not far into his walk and when I turned I walked up the stairs.

Opening the front door, I saw Mom dressed in her new maternity pjs, a size larger than what her other pair was. Her belly was starting to look scary big, but I also knew she had months to go. There were two in there, so I knew she would be looking like this before long. Seeing your mother like that though, at eighteen and no younger siblings already running around, is still slightly shocking at times. When she stood, she smiled and removed her glasses. She looked tired.

“Hey,” she greeted as I watched her slide to the edge of the couch so she could stand. When she did, she stretched out her back. I watched her shuffle her feet between the couch and the coffee table.

“Hi,” I said and she smiled and rubbed her hand across her belly. “They’re pretty active tonight, almost makes me wonder if they sensed the crowd and how nervous I was.”

“I’m glad you came,” I said as I closed the door behind me and walked up to where she stood.

“You looked so great, I’m so proud of you,” she said and I let her lean in and kiss me on the cheek, it was a bit of an event now that she had to maneuver around herself to do it.

“Thank you,” I said, swallowing against the butterflies that hit my stomach.

“Goodnight, love you,” she said and I nodded.

“Love you,” I said and I followed her slow progress up the stairs until I got to the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth, took a piss that I had been holding since the College back at Regionals.

Walking across the hall to my bedroom, I sat the alarm on my phone for six thirty with a cringe. Setting it down on my nightstand, I stripped down to my boxer briefs, piling my clothes on the floor before crashing into my bed, rolling down the covers just enough to pull them back up over me. Sighing as I felt the familiar softness of my bed, I smiled knowing I wouldn’t wake up in the middle of the night to Charlie’s knee or morning wood poking me in the back as I stretched out and closed my eyes.

The alarm came too early despite falling asleep quickly. The only thing that kept me from rolling over and hitting the snooze, was knowing Luke and I had some sneaking around to do. Sitting up, I grabbed my phone and shut down the alarm. Getting all the way out of the bed, I adjusted my junk and shot across the hall to the bathroom. I hadn’t seen Mom, I didn’t smell breakfast cooking, but Dad was probably already home and in bed from his all nighter at the hospital.

After a quick shower, I wrapped a towel around myself and walked back to my bedroom, closing the door behind me. Not knowing what he had planned for us, I opted for jeans and a t-shirt with a hoodie, in case the weather got shitty later, I never paid enough attention to know. Grabbing a pair of black boxer briefs, I slid them on first and then a pair of socks. Stepping into my jeans, I pulled them up over my ass just as I heard a knock on the front door and Mom’s voice down stairs. I didn’t know if Luke told Mom what he had planned or not, they had a special sort of cohort relationship going on at times. I doubted she’d be happy with me skipping out on school too, though, she was still a Mom at the end of the day.

Hearing talking down stairs, I sped up and grabbed my shoes after I pulled my shirt over my head and through one arm. Walking down the hall, I slid the other one in and bounded down the stairs to see Luke standing there with a loose fitting white t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He was hovering between the kitchen, where Mom was just starting breakfast. They had been talking, but hearing me come down the stairs they stopped and were looking at me.

“You two are going to school, aren’t you?” Mom asked as she opened the refrigerator door.

“No ma’am,” Luke answered, smiling in her direction.

“Luke Clarke, I know your mother doesn’t know about this,” Mom countered with a sigh as she grabbed the orange juice. She had already peeled and sliced a banana and had a bowl of cereal waiting for the milk. When I saw her look down, she shook her head and put the orange juice back into the fridge with a smile.

“She’ll get over it,” Luke offered, shrugging as he looked away from Mom, as Mom and I both looked at him. I liked it when Luke talked like that, even if I knew what it cost him to do it later on.

“Jackson, Luke,” Mom sighed as she poured milk over her cereal. “Please do not press your luck, both of you being absent today is going to be pretty obvious.”

“A lot of seniors start skipping days this time of year,” I said, hoping Mom wasn’t about to talk Luke right out of what he had planned.

“We can go to school after, we might not miss the whole day,” Luke said and I grimaced at the thought of going into school when it was half over. I wasn’t about to do that, but Luke could if he wanted to. He had more at stake if we were found out, so I knew I shouldn’t be pressuring him into anything that would lead to that.

“See you later Mom,” I said with a short wave after Luke started fiddling with his truck keys.

“I guess you can have a dentist appointment if Cindy asks,” Mom said as she started adding her sliced bananas to the top of her cereal. “You probably do actually need an appointment made, it has been a couple months.”

“Mom,” I groaned as I grabbed Luke’s elbow before she had me scheduling check-ups, and eye checks.

After we were out of the house, Luke’s smile returned and we walked to his truck. Walking around to the passenger side, I opened the door and slid in. The bench seat was always nice and when he started the engine and slid on his seatbelt, I scooted over slightly as he backed out of the driveway.

“We might be late,” Luke said as he glanced at the digital clock on his dash. Looking down at it, I didn’t feel the same about seeing it. It was just past the time I would be leaving the house to head into school, the first tardy bell will be ringing in about fifteen minutes. I usually planned my mornings around sliding into the first class just as the door closed, locking me out for a tardy. Leaning back, I slid my hand over and grazed his outer thigh with my finger. When he jumped I smiled and when he playfully shook my hand off I sighed.

“Are you going to tell me what this is about?” I asked as I fished my phone out of my pocket and placed it into the seat between us. Luke’s truck had shitty music stations, but we usually only listened to a song or two a trip before turning it off and talking. “Cause I have different plans in mind.”

“It is a bit of a drive,” he said as he smiled in my direction. Hearing that, I knew I wasn’t going to get more than a smirk out of him so I leaned back and sprawled out. The bench seats of his truck allowed for that and I hadn’t slept a lot all weekend as it was.

“You haven’t found us another shitty fortune teller, have you?” I asked when I got bored of staring out the windshield as the town blew by us. It never took long to get in and back out of town, that’s the whole reason I was leaving. “I don’t really want to marry someone that looks like your mother.”

“What are you talking about?” He asked as he slowed to stop at a sign, he flipped the right turn signal on. We had gone in a completely different direction from Tony’s, but towards the other small circling towns around ours that held Tim’s paint wars.

“The blond haired, blue eyed girl I’m supposed to fall in love with during college,” I answered, glancing over at him. “The fortune teller from that lame ass date we went on because we were too chicken shit to do anything else.”

“I enjoyed that night,” he countered, shaking his head. “What are you complaining about, you got the good fortune, mine was crap.”

“Yeah it was,” I said smiling.

“It was the first time I felt like all this was really real,” he said as he hit a straight stretch on the highway and hit the gas a little harder. I looked over at him to see a smile playing on his face. It had taken him that long when I was already there. “We walked down a boardwalk together, a stupidly common thing to do, but no one cared or knew why we were there. It was a great night.”

“Yeah, I guess it was,” I said, settling back down on my side of the truck. I didn’t remember it that way. I had been so stressed out and thinking I was about to lose him to Cindy forever. We had a strained sort of night, it was new looking back on it with him telling me things so differently. I was on the verge of losing it and he wasn’t. It felt like so long ago though. I was sure of what I wanted and the only thing that kept surprising me was that I found it so soon and without even really looking. Luke stood in my way, so obtrusive that he easily started to eclipse a lot of other things that threatened to take my attention away. Shaking my head I reached up and rubbed my eye hoping I didn’t give away that I was about to cry. The heavy feeling crept up on me and I didn’t want it to. When I let my hand fall back to my lap I looked over at him then slid my hand up and onto his thigh. It was far enough away from where I was before, that he didn’t shake it off. The only thing I had left to do was graduate and convince him to come with me to Georgia. Then I would have more than what I was hoping I’d ever get from this year and it was already a pretty fucking good year all around.

“When do you go to State?” Luke asked out of the blue and I shook my head not really knowing the exact date. Tony would be reminding us next practice, it wasn’t something I ever circled onto my calendar, but this year I was looking forward to it. I didn’t take it seriously before, I didn’t think I had the stuff to really get me anywhere. Now I thought I did so I wanted to test myself against the best swimmers around me for real.

“It is usually after graduation,” I answered, gripping his thigh tighter to see if he noticed. When he glanced down at my hand, I smirked, but I didn’t inch it any further up. “Why?”

“No reason really,” he said, but I knew there was a reason for the question. Graduation was a couple weeks away. Rewards day was coming up, but I really didn’t want to watch Connor and Lily walk up and win every good student award the teachers handed out. I wasn’t going to win any of them, although my grades were great. After Georgia was official, I did fill out some scholarship applications, some of those would be announced then too. I would be winning those no matter if I was there or not, I’d get them the next school day. Signing day had also been scheduled, Welker and Rick had wrangled Tony into an agreement to do it at his place, but allowed them both to be present. I didn’t have much of an argument with Welker being there, even if I gave him a hard time in his office. Part of me wanted him to see what all I had achieved anyway, and without any help from him.

“How’s the Georgia applications coming along?” I asked not really wanting to, but my stomach muscles wouldn’t ease with that always in the back of my mind.

“Jackson,” Luke groaned and I felt his leg tense under my hand. “I already told you I’m not going with you when you printed out all those for me.”

“Please,” I said, feeling the same fluttering all over my body that led to goose bumps and a tug in my chest when he told me wasn’t coming. Over the weeks since Prom I thought I would have been able to convince him to at least apply to some of the neighboring colleges. I could stand being an hour away if I had to. Not a chunk of the country though, not when he was still at home without me. I knew what I was asking. If the University of Georgia fell through for him again I was asking him to pack up and be by himself too, away from his family. Away from me, really, since we would have cities between us and I would be too busy to make the trips I would promise him just to see him. He would have Derek and Toby backing him up and keeping him sane, Mom, Dad, and a bed to sleep in if all hell broke loose here at home, but that wasn’t enough. He wouldn’t have me there standing in front of him to take the punches he couldn’t take, ones I knew were coming sooner or later. I had promised to be there whenever it did, but time crept up on us both and it hadn’t yet. Being lucky had afforded us some of the best days of my life, but now I would have to leave him to do it all without me. The thought always kept me from taking a deep breath and when I sighed he glanced over at me.

It wasn’t even all that. I didn’t know if I could be myself anymore without him there. I would be alone, in a new place, with no connections or friendships that had lasted decades. I had always put a lot of weight on my friendships, Toby and Derek were like brothers to me. I would fight to protect Lily, I would be a witness whenever Heather needed an alibi for something, and Ally somehow knew me fucking better than I knew myself on some things. Georgia was big and despite wanting it too, it was still bigger than anything I had ever done and I knew I could do it with Luke. It would be as easy as breathing with him.

“We’re almost there,” Luke said and I felt the tension in his voice and I knew I was ruining the day he had planned. I would wait for him to tell me what I already knew was coming. I would be packing up my things for a long trip alone. That was months away, but I knew I wasn’t going to be able to convince him to come. That it was selfish for me to keep making the attempts. I had realized that he had plans of his own and mine only put up roadblocks for him. He wanted to stay where he felt at home, despite everything he was like my parents. He loved his roots and wanted to keep them.

Looking over I smiled and squeezed his leg before looking around to see that we were close to Tim’s paint wars. It wasn’t open, the summer schedule would be starting up soon though, and it will be after the schools let out for the year. We were in the shopping blocks of town though, where restaurants and department stores dominated everything else. Stacked side by side, unless they were large super stores like Walmart or something that needed space. Unlike back home, this place was growing. Buildings weren’t shuttered, but lit up and open. I watched him pull into a side street that had a lot of row shops and smaller businesses until he slowed and pulled into a parking place in front of the long end of a long row of buildings. It was brick, but what perked me up in my seat was the Neon green lights on darkened windows and the large graffiti sign on the building.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” I asked, sitting straight up in the seat.

“Tim said they were great,” Luke answered as he unbuckled his seatbelt that I had neglected to put on the entire trip.

“A tattoo place,” I said leaning forward to look up at the front sign. With the darkened lights it looked shady as fuck, but I knew it was more for modesty purposes than anything else. No one wanted to feel watched while they got a tattoo on their chest or wherever else.

“Ready to go in?” He asked slightly, turning to look at me. “We’re barely on time, so we can’t be out here long.”

“Yeah,” I answered as I grabbed the door handle and opened the passenger side. I knew a tattoo was on Luke’s list. We had crossed off horse riding, but we had neglected all the rest of them. I had been thinking of ways to work them into our summer plans, but some of them were bigger than just a day trip away. This one should have been more obvious, but I had always hated needles and had no desire to ever get a tattoo. My only exception being for the olympic rings, but I was pretty sure I was safe from that unless Scott was a better miracle worker than even Emily and Tony.

“Tim told me about this place when I asked about his tattoo and where to buy some men’s jewelry,” Luke said after he followed me out of the truck and closed his door. “The jewelry store is just down the sidewalk.”

“Damn,” I said, making a mental note of where I was so I could return to the store when Luke wasn’t with me. Glancing down the sidewalk I saw their reserved parking. It was a cleaner looking place than this side, but that was more due to the graffiti decorations than anything else. Reaching up I ran my thumb over the slightly sharp edge of my etched letter J before I let my hand fall back to my side. I met Luke at the front of the truck and without any hesitation Luke stepped forward and up onto the sidewalk to the door. Just like with the horses, he was ready and I wasn’t, but followed him inside.

The inside was completely different than the outside. The inside was all whites and polished countertops. There was one other car in the parking spaces and I could hear the sound of someone getting a tattoo. It was behind a privacy blind, a woman was talking. Hearing us enter, a man walked out of a back room. He had a full sleeve of a tattoo and a clean cut beard. Seeing us he smiled and walked to the counter.

“Luke Clarke, my eight-forty-five appointment,” he said, looking between Luke and me. “Which one are you?”

“Me,” Luke answered as he stepped up to the counter.

“Nice, my name is Robbie, can I see your I.D to confirm your age?” he said as he walked around the counter. After Luke showed him his driver’s license I watched him shake Luke’s hand before turning to offer it to me. Shaking it and letting go, he took a step back around the counter and grabbed a folder leaving Luke his license to pick back up. “You wanted a scripture in black, we didn’t really discuss style or fonts.”

“I want it done in his handwriting,” Luke said, surprising me when he nodded in my direction. “If you can do that.”

“I can mirror it close enough,” he said confidently before I could say anything. “After he gives me a few examples, I will do some mock-ups and let you decide if it is close enough.”

“Are you sure?” I asked as I watched Robbie grab a black ink pen and two pieces of paper. One was blank white and the other lined.

“Yeah, my favorite scripture in your handwriting,” he said and I swallowed and despite the room being cold, I was starting to feel clammy as I took some deep breaths.

“Second Corinthians, Chapter 5, verse 7,” Robbie said as he typed it into his phone. When he slid it over to Luke, Luke selected the verse he wanted and then Robbie slid the phone over to me. Reading it to myself, I grabbed the pen.

“Write it a few times just as you would write anything,” Robbie instructed pointing to both papers. “If you need the lines to keep it a straight line, use that one.”

Sliding the lined paper closer to me, I looked down at the edge of the pen like it was the end of a gun. It was sharply pointed and when I placed it on the paper to make a line, it came away cleanly like any of the rest of the pens I ever used.

“I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see,” I said as I wrote it the first time then copied the chapter and verse the way it was written under it. My hand was shaking so much that it looked awful. Glancing up at Luke, he shrugged and I skipped a line and wrote it again. This time more familiar with the words, some of the nerves went away and it looked more like my old handwriting when I printed. I kept writing until all the tension left my hand and wrist, the hum and chatter coming from the other side of the room helped drown out the weight of what Luke was asking of me. He wanted my writing on him, something of mine that he can’t so easily get rid of if everything fell around us.

“Can you try a couple in cursive when you feel more steady with the pen?” Robbie asked and I glanced over at him. I was halfway down the paper, I had written it eight times on the lined paper.

“Alright,” I offered before turning back to the paper. I always had to tilt the paper slightly farther when I switched from writing in print to cursive, so I slid the paper until it felt comfortable and wrote it a few more times. I never liked how I wrote in cursive, it looked too small and too difficult to read. Trying to write the letters bigger only made it look bad and when Luke snickered beside me, knowing what I was attempting to do, I stopped and glanced over at him.

“It needs to be written like you would write notes for homework,” Luke said looking over to Robbie. “That’s the one I’ll recognize anyway.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked when Robbie handed me a second piece of paper.

“It’s my favorite for a reason,” Luke answered, turning his full attention to me and I felt myself getting nervous all over again.

“I don’t know who you two are, but you two sound so cute,” came from the privacy blind on the other side of the room. The sound of the hum of the motorized needles stopped momentarily as another female voice laughed.

“I thought the same thing,” the other woman said just as the humming started back and I felt my face getting warmer by the second.

“Stacey is pretty nosy,” Robbie offered as he smiled at me before I started practicing again and when I was finally satisfied that I was able to write the fucking way I’ve been writing for years, I put the pen down. I let Luke look at it and watched his finger slide down the many examples I gave him.

“This one,” Luke said and Robbie grabbed the pen I was using and put a dot beside it, marking it as the one he wanted to use.

“I’ll get this stenciled in and ready for you, you said you wanted it on your left side, ribcage?” He asked after taking a half step towards the back room door again.

“Yeah,” Luke answered, glancing in my direction. He still sounded so sure of what he was about to do. I hated standing here nervous as fuck for something that I wasn’t having done to me while he looked like he was waiting for the most mundane of things, not his first tattoo.

“I’ll be about ten or fifteen, you can go sit in those chairs in the meantime,” Robbie instructed, pointing behind us. There was a row of black chairs along the front windows by the entrance. Turning first I led Luke to the seats and took the one farthest away from the entrance and Luke sat down beside me, still smiling.

“How the hell are you still calm, you’re about to have needles all over you?” I asked, trying to tune out the noise of the woman getting the tattoo in the other station. The privacy screen was still just putting them out of sight, but from this angle I could see shadows of the tattoo artist’s movements.

“I think I’ll get nervous when he’s actually about to start,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Why did you decide to do this today?” I asked and stopped my foot from tapping against the waxed tiled floor of the shop. I expected it to look grungy or crowded with biker types and rougher looking people. That’s what television told me, but this place looked more like a doctor’s office, if I hadn’t seen the outside, I wouldn’t know where the fuck I was.

“Mom,” Luke answered, shrugging his shoulders. I glanced over to see his smile fade, so I didn’t want to push him to tell me more. Knowing Cindy, that’s all the answer I really needed. “It’s always something I wanted to do, and I reminded her that I was eighteen and now here we are proving that fact.”

“You don’t have to do this to stick it to your mother,” I said looking towards the closed door Robbie left the room in. “Even if I’m damn proud of you for doing it right now.”

“Thanks for that,” he said, offering me a small smile.

“It’s a bit hot really,” I said leaning in closer so that I could whisper.

“Shut up,” he groaned, elbowing my arm off the armrest that I took before he could.

We fell silent as I checked the clock on my phone out of habit more than anything. It was getting close to the start of our second classes. By now both our absences would have been felt. Cindy would be on the prowl, and Henry probably had a few unfortunate phone calls by now. Mom would have gotten a phone call from the school confirming my absence, but she knew where I was. A half a year ago I would have been lectured until I told her that I would be home later and she would let me go for the rest of the day, starting her lecture when I finally decided to stomp through the door. I made note to tell the twins the second route of honesty was a lot easier. Too bad it took my dumbass all of eighteen years to figure that out.

“Do you think it will hurt?” I asked, trying not to ask too many questions about it, but the curiosity of it all getting the better of me.

“It will a little,” he answered, smiling when I frowned. “I don’t really know.”

“Can I be there when you show Cindy?” I asked and when he rolled his eyes I chewed on my bottom lip to keep from snickering. The only noise was the chattering of the woman and the erratic hum and repositioning of the artist, as she calmly sat and got her own tattoo. There wasn’t any sign of pain coming from that station, but that didn’t really comfort me.

“I don’t plan on showing her,” he answered, shaking his head. “Unless I forget about it and step out shirtless around her.”

“I’m mostly naked at home when I don’t have anything to do,” I said and when he looked at me, I was saved from whatever he was going to say by Robbie coming back out of the door with a set of papers that had to be the stencils.

“Ready?” Robbie asked as he motioned for us to join him back at the front desk. “I think you’ll like these, the handwriting wasn’t difficult to copy.”

When we stepped up to the front desk, Robbie unfolded the stencil. There were a couple and when Luke pointed to the one he liked most, the one written with the verse first, the book, verse, and chapter underneath it, slightly larger. It was written to cover the most skin possible for the shortness of the whole thing. Grimacing when I saw it, not thinking of exactly how big it would actually be, I instantly tried to imagine it on his skin. It would take up a big section of his side.

“I like it, the size is what we discussed too,” Luke answered and Robbie smiled and nodded his head as he started walking towards the second station.

“He can come back with you,” Robbie said when I hesitated at the the front desk as they left me wondering what the fuck I was supposed to do. I wanted to go with him, but I didn’t like blood and I didn’t like needles, I didn’t want to end up sprawled out on the cold tiled floor either. Swallowing when they both stopped walking, I finally started moving to catch up to them, both of their smiles returning, satisfied that I was following after them.

“Here we are,” Robbie said as he repositioned the privacy partition to where no one could see. There was a light that he clicked on, it brightened the small space a lot more than the overhead lights. There was a black leather chair, thin at the top. I watched Luke slide out of his shirt and when he handed it to me, I took it. There was a stool that rolled with a wheel lock that Robbie could press with his foot and a smaller leather chair on the opposite side. I knew that seat was for me so I sat down in it.

“How do you want me to sit?” Luke asked as Robbie started examining Luke’s skin. He had a thin pair of clearish gloves on. He had also pulled down a pair of glasses that were on his head and when he blinked and looked up at Luke he let his hand fall away from Luke’s side.

“Whatever makes you comfortable, you can either lay on your back, the side we’re working on will be facing me, or you can sit side saddle facing your friend. I can adjust the seat so you can lean on it. That would require you to hold your arm up instead of using the arm rest, whichever,” Robbie answered and I was surprised he didn’t take hardly a second breath between all of that.

“Alright,” Luke answered, nodding as he decided to sit off to the side.

“We can change your position if you get uncomfortable,” Robbie said, offering us both a smile. There was a small table of what he would need. The ink and everything I knew fuck all about. I knew there was a needle involved. First Robbie reached up and prodded Luke’s skin again, then readjusted the seat with an ungloved hand to where Luke could lean his other side against it. There was a sheet of paper, like you would find at a doctor’s office on the chair. It crinkled when Luke laid against it.

“I think this will work,” Luke offered as I watched Robbie still focusing on his skin. He had put on a second glove he had on his station and was looking at the stencil.

“You have great skin here,” Robbie said smiling as he glanced up at Luke and awkwardly adjusted his glasses with the back of his wrist. “It is a painful place for a first tattoo, there are worse places, but this is one of the ones that gets a few people. We can take some short breaks, but since the letters are so close together, we can’t risk too much irritation. I want you to be sure this is the location.”

“It is, it has to be,” Luke answered and I instantly wanted to know why that spot. I would already be backtracking my ass out the door. In a lot of ways I knew Luke was braver than me. Darkness didn’t bother him, crowds did a little, his parents did a lot. Anything else though, he took in stride and I felt myself swell up with the thought of loving someone as brave as he had to be. I knew the words about to be permanently inked into his skin had a lot to do with that too.

“Okay then, let's get you sanitized and this stencil on,” Robbie said and I sat back in my chair, clutching Luke’s shirt in both of my hands. I watched him work first using a spray and then a wipe on Luke, then he prepared the stencil and when it was stuck to his skin, he slowly peeled it away. The black words in my handwriting were on his skin. Robbie examined it and showed it to Luke in a mirror to make sure the positioning was to his preference. When Luke nodded I felt my stomach tense when the stencil was discarded or the needle and ink. He also grabbed from a stack of soft looking white cloth like wipes and held it in one hand and I squinted when the needle powered up.

“I’m okay,” Luke said as he took a deep breath.

“Try to keep your breathing even, it will help me a lot,” Robbie instructed as the needle made its first contact with Luke. I saw him grimace immediately and heard air woosh out of his mouth as he let out the breath I didn’t know that he was holding. Robbie glanced up at him, but went on with what he was doing and I had to focus all my attention onto Luke when I saw the first swipe of the cloth slide across Luke’s skin. I knew if I focused too much on that thing I wouldn’t be able to sit here with him.

“Are you going to be okay?” I asked when Luke’s grimace didn’t fade and I wondered just how bad it felt.

“Yes,” Luke answered through gritted teeth.

“Your body will get a little more used to it the longer I go,” Robbie said, offering us a smile as he went along working. His eyes looked slightly larger in the glasses, they were thicker framed. He was leaning in close to Luke’s side. “Feel free to talk to one another or me, if it helps take your mind off it.”

“How does it feel?” I asked when Luke’s eyes opened from the mostly closed crease that came with his grimace. His cheeks were starting to flush and I looked down to see his hand, awkwardly raised out and away from his body, clutching the armrest tight enough to turn his knuckles white.

“I can’t really describe it,” he answered, his voice slightly strained. His nostrils were flared, but he had been able to keep his breathing even and he didn’t jerk or jump much after the first contact against his skin. “A mix of a tug, sting, and burn, a lot of things.”

“I’m already done with two words, albeit the first one was just one letter,” Robbie said and despite everything Luke laughed.

“I’m glad this is my favorite and not a longer one,” Luke said, his voice more of a hiss than anything else. I took a deep breath and leaned forward to see if I could see what it looked like, but Robbie’s hand obstructed everything, and the mirror wasn’t positioned in any way that I could see either.

“May I ask why this one is important to you?” Robbie asked and I frowned mentally kicking myself for not ever really asking, or remembering if I did.

“It has always helped me be focused and brave when I thought I needed to be,” Luke answered, looking away from Robbie to me. “I’ve done a lot of things I wouldn’t have without it.”

“Nice,” Robbie offered, nodding his head. I could tell he was just making small talk now, but the words hit me hard in the chest. The talking seemed to help Luke though, as the color started coming back to his knuckles, and faded from his cheeks. His nose relaxed, but his eyes hadn’t, and every now and then I’d hear a small hiss from between his teeth, his jaws never really relaxing either.

A silence fell between us as Robbie continued to work and I felt my hold on Luke’s t-shirt loosen. I had to stretch my fingers out, not realizing how hard I had been holding on. A shuffling in the next station made me glance behind me, Stacey had finished with her client and was helping her cover the tattoo. There was more small talk going on between them that I couldn’t really hear and after a click of the other lamp, it slightly darkened behind me. When they appeared from behind the partition, they were shadows to us as they moved through the shop, one woman significantly taller than the other was the only thing I saw. Even then, it could have been a trick of the light.

Then Stacey appeared at the back door that was fully visible from where we sat. She took a moment to look at us, and seeing us she smiled and scrunched up her face like most people did when they saw puppies. Glancing at Luke, he was watching me and I smiled as the door closed behind Stacey as she went to retrieve something she needed.

“You haven’t passed out yet,” Luke said smirking when I sat back in the chair.

“I can’t look at the inky blood,” I countered as Luke stretched out his fingers on the armrest he had been clutching earlier, now his fingers curled gently around it just holding onto it enough to rest his arm.

“The blood bothered me a lot at first,” Robbie said smiling. “I was an art student that got bored and switched over to this, we practice on pig skin. I about had my Master’s degree, my parents were so pissed.”

“Mine will be when they find this out,” Luke offered, turning his head slightly to look sideways at Robbie.

“You might need to go into hiding, witness protection level,” I said just as Stacey reappeared from the back room. She was holding a small bottle in one hand and a small piece of paper in the other. I heard her talking to the woman briefly before the front door opened and closed.

“Shut up,” Luke groaned, rolling his eyes, a smile playing on his lips.

“Hey guys, I’m coming around to take a look,” Stacey said from across the room. “If that’s okay?”

She didn’t really wait for an answer though as she appeared around the partition, careful to stay out of the light. Robbie snorted, but didn’t say anything and that’s when I saw that some of the tattoos they had matched one another. Even the one on their right ring fingers.

“How’s it looking, boss?” Robbie asked after swiping away some ink and blood. He paused and backed slightly away from Luke and I looked up to see Luke fully relax for the first time.

“Really good, his skin isn’t reacting a whole lot yet,” Stacey said as she stepped closer and I leaned forward to see it. Robbie was all the way through the first line, Luke’s skin had reddened around the black letters and was puffed up slightly higher than the stenciled black letters left to go. The first line ended with ‘Faith’, and a comma, the word just slightly bigger than the rest, but still in my handwriting, or close enough to it. In spots there was blood still breaking the skin and Robbie would gently pat it away. He was on his second or third cloth, I hadn’t paid enough attention, but the stack was smaller than before.

“We’re onto the next line, this one is right on more of the ribs that are going to hurt the most,” Robbie said as he stretched out his fingers still holding the needles.

“I had to come over, you two were just too adorable,” Stacey said as she offered us both a smile. “I didn’t think you were this young though, you are babies.”

I looked over to Luke just in time to see him smile over at me, knowing I hated to hear adult people calling us kids, but she went one step beyond that. Rolling my eyes I sat back in the chair, my face getting warmer with all the gushing she was doing.

“Go away so I can get back to work,” Robbie said, turning fully to look at her. He smiled when she waved her hand.

“I’ll go get us some food,” Stacey said, offering me another big smile. She had a nose ring and what looked like a tongue piercing, and both her ears were pierced multiple times. She had long hair, tied back and in a braid. It was jet black and I didn’t think it was her natural hair color.

“Chinese,” Robbie said as he turned his full attention back to Luke. “If you need a longer break, we can take it now, since I’m moving lower.”

“I’m good,” Luke said and I reached into my pocket to look at my phone. I didn’t know exactly when he started, but it had been around our second period. Now we would be starting the last class of the day, the first line had taken over an hour. We weren’t going to make it to school at all, we’d be lucky to make it back home by the time Mom would have supper ready.

“Do you think I should text your dad?” I asked when I showed him the time on my phone.

“Just tell him not to expect me for dinner, I’m already in for it when I get home anyway,” he answered and I nodded as I typed out a quick message to Henry and pressed send.

“I’m about to start,” Robbie said, giving us fair warning. “This line is going to be a lot more painful.”

The tattoo was just large enough for the space to require a second line, but I could see the rise of the rib bone he would mostly be working on. Luke was just toned and thin enough for the rib bone to peek through the muscles. Already anticipating it, Luke winced when Robbie started working. This line, the first letter was larger, the same size as the word ‘faith’ from the top line, to fill out the space a little more and to differentiate one from the next. On the stencil the second line ended a little longer than the top, then the book and chapter with the verse was smaller and more finely written. It wouldn’t take as long, even with a lot of letters.

“Damn,” Luke hissed and I turned away from what Robbie was doing only to find Luke had moved his other hand, that had been resting in the chair beside his leg, past the arm rest. It took me a minute to realize that he was reaching for me. His eyes were clenched all the way shut, but when I took his hand, he opened them and after blinking a few times he focused on me.

“Hey,” I whispered, forcing a smile as I reached with my other hand to fully cup both of them around his. It was cold to the touch and when he smiled through the grimace, I felt his wrist finally relax. His other hand was back to being white knuckled though, so I let go with one hand and slid it up over the back of his hand.

“If you need a break, let me know,” Robbie said and I looked over to see him glance down at my hand on Luke’s, but he didn’t say anything. We had to be pretty obvious from the start, Stacey had caught on immediately and she wasn’t physically able to see us, just our voices and that was enough for her.

“Say something to distract me,” Luke hissed, his eyes creasing at the edges as his lip curled. Beads of sweat had broken out on his forehead and I didn’t understand tattoos enough to know why half an inch lower and on bone was worse.

“I made a complete ass of myself last night,” I said remembering the talk with Oliver before leaving with Tony and the rest of the team. “I thought I was being hit on in the locker rooms, but the dude just wanted to be my friend.”

“Really?” Luke asked his grimace, broke into a smirk briefly, but didn’t return as strong as before.

“Well when you’re a hot piece like me, you think stuff like that,” I said glancing over when Robbie stifled a laugh hoping I didn’t cause him to mess anything up.

“Right,” Luke offered and I saw him shake his head glancing up at the ceiling. “But you weren’t being hit on, so.”

“Damn Luke,” I said, shaking my head. “No, I wasn’t this time, his name is Oliver though. The guy that nearly beat me three times.”

“I have a dog named that, a fat little French bulldog,” Robbie interrupted, this time not breaking focus on his work.

“Oh, that guy,” Luke said remembering last night. “I was too far away to really see what he looked like.”

I could hear a bit of jealousy rising out of the hissed whisper and I felt it wash over me like it always did. A jealous Luke was a hot one and when I felt my cheeks getting warmer I sighed hoping like fuck I didn’t give anything away, but when Luke smiled I knew I hadn’t hid that at all from him. He also knew what his jealousy did to me and when his thumb resting on the armrest reached up and slid along the side of my hand I had to look away from it and focus on something else.

“Well anyway, he still gave me his number,” I continued and this time Luke’s face fell slightly and I smiled wanting to change the subject now that I brought it up. “I figured he’d run out the door laughing at me, he must be desperate for friends. His family moves around a lot.”

“What sport do you do?” Robbie asked and I jumped slightly having forgotten he was listening to us.

“Swimming,” I answered, “I just finished regionals.”

“Nice, how’d it go?” He asked as he glanced across Luke to look at me. His hand stopped moving, but he swiped away ink and then the second wave of blood that came.

“I swept my individual races,” I answered, sitting up slightly straighter and Robbie smiled and nodded before going back to work.

“Sounds like a great night, locker room embarrassment aside,” Robbie offered and I heard Luke laugh and when I looked down at him, I deflated back down when he smirked and shook his head.

The rest of the tattoo seemed to wear Luke’s resolve down, I would feel him tense in my hands, only to relax and tense again. There were times when I thought about telling Robbie that he needed a break, but I didn’t know if it would have mattered much. I knew Luke’s stubbornness wouldn’t allow him to stop, he would leave there with a completed tattoo. Instead I watched and every time I thought about my handwriting always being on his body, my heart would pick up a bit. I would smile, despite watching him being in pain and I would squeeze his hand. Luke had expected this to be a bit of a quicker process, but Robbie had been thorough and careful, and when he took a break to rest his wrist, I would lean over to see just how much more he had left to do. When I saw that he was finishing off the last of it, I offered Luke a smile. Stacey had gotten back with bags of food and even though she took them to the back room immediately, it didn’t stop my stomach from growling. I hadn’t had anything to eat all day, not even my usual after lunch bag of cheetos I’d snag from the vending machine at school.

“I’m on the last of it,” Robbie said, taking a bit of time to look up towards Luke. “You’ve taken to this like a pro, I must admit I thought we’d be booking a second appointment.”

“I don’t think I can be this rebellious against my mother again for awhile,” Luke hissed and Robbie laughed as he went back to work. I looked over to see that he was on the chapter and verse numbers at the end. More of Luke’s skin had reddened around the entire tattoo and became more puffy. Robbie hadn’t seemed concerned about it, there was dried blood on portions well above where he worked as well. Not wanting to look at it I turned to see Luke watching me.

“A few minutes more,” I said, squeezing his hand. He smiled and I felt his thumb rub against the side of my hand.

“Done,” Robbie announced as he rolled back his chair and placed everything he was using back on the tray. “Don’t get up, we’ll have to do some post care of that.”

“Alright,” Luke said as he relaxed his entire body and I let go of his hand so that I could stretch out some of my own soreness. Rolling my neck I arched my back and sighed leaning back further in the chair.

“How are you feeling?” I asked when Robbie ducked into the back room leaving us alone in the place. The softly tinted windows didn’t allow for me to really know what time of day it was outside, it still looked like a clear day and when I turned around, I saw Luke craning his neck trying to see it.

“Like I have a really bad sunburn and a cat just tried to climb up my side,” he said, wrinkling his nose.

“Nasty,” I offered, moving the flexible neck of the mirror towards Luke. When he could reach it, he adjusted it to where he could see the tattoo.

“I’m still bleeding a little,” Luke said and I nodded, reaching slowly with my hand. When I touched his side, a half inch or so away from the tattoo he jumped and I jerked my hand away.

“Your hand is cold,” he said as he relaxed back onto the seat still on his side.

“Sorry,” I offered just as Robbie came back out with a large bandage and a bottle in his hand.

“This is a moisturizing cream, it is hypoallergenic and gentle,” he said as he sat back down onto his rolling chair and rolled it forward. “You’re going to bleed a little more, and don’t be worried if ink leaks for the first couple days, there’s always an excess in there.”

“Okay,” Luke answered, nodding his head as I sat back and watched as Robbie squirted a large amount of the cream onto the tattoo and gently smeared it around. He took a clean cloth and wiped around it, clearing away the extra.

“You’ll need to keep this bandage on for at least five to six hours,” Robbie said as he opened the sterile packaging of the bandage. It had a soft cloth-like inside that wrapped all the way around Luke and attached to itself on the other side. I watched as he carefully leaned off the seat and allowed Robbie to unroll the arms of the bandage. Afterwards he secured it again with tape to the outer part. “After you take the bandage off, you can clean it by using a gentle soap and just your fingers, don’t scrub it, pat it dry, then let it air dry before reapplying more moisturizer. Let it breathe, keep it clean and out of the sun, don’t swim for at least two or so weeks.”

“Damn,” I said, “glad I didn’t get one, I’d be ass deep in trouble.”

“Don’t pick at any of the scabs, let them form and fall off naturally,” Robbie said as he gently patted the center of the bandage with his fingertips as Luke watched. “I would recommend an odorless, chemical free moisturizer. We sell some at the front, but you can get them at any store that sells pharmaceuticals. Nothing with alcohol.”

“Thanks for seeing me on short notice like this,” Luke offered after Robbie patted his shoulder and wheeled away from us.

“Not a problem at all,” he said standing up and rolling the chair gently out of his way, “I’ll get you finished up and you can pay over there, I’ll let you get your shirt on.”

“Do you need any help?” I asked after Luke started moving and I held out his t-shirt for him. When it unfurled I saw that I had wrinkled it with my nervous gripping of it earlier. Seeing the state of it he looked up at me and smiled.

“I think I got it,” he answered and I stood and tugged gently on his shirt after he wrestled it over his head anyway. When it fell away, it didn’t show the bandage despite the size of it. I expected plastic wrap that would make noise when he walked, but this was the better alternative.

“There’s no way in hell your mother doesn’t catch you,” I said, watching when he took off walking stiffly. At first I thought it was because he had been in a chair at a weird angle for hours. I knew my ass would have been sore, but he was holding both arms away from his sides and the bandage.

“Shut up,” he muttered, glancing at me as we walked through the shop back towards the front. “Have a little faith.”

“Nah, I’m not sure your mother doesn’t have x-ray vision or some shit,” I said and when he elbowed me Robbie smirked as he finished up the list of charges.

“I’ll just buy a bottle of the moisturizer here, it will be easier,” Luke said and Robbie smiled and nodded as he reached under the desk and pulled out a bottle without looking and added it to the list. When it was totaled he printed out a receipt, Luke attempted to hide the amount from me, but when I saw a three followed by two more digits I whistled. Luke paid in cash and got his change back.

“If you have any questions feel free to call, my personal cell is on there, just not after seven,” Robbie said as he slid over the receipt and Luke snatched it off the bar, folding it up until it fit into his wallet.

“Thanks again,” Luke said and I turned and walked to the exit. “You were great.”

“Thank you, come back again, maybe we can convince your friend to get one,” Robbie said and I looked over to see him nodding his head towards me.

“Yeah, not a chance in hell, no offense,” I said, shaking my head as I pushed open the door to the warm humid air. The sun was still higher in the sky than I thought it would be and after Luke stepped outside onto the sidewalk I gave Robbie a last fleeting smile before I stepped out and let the door close behind us.

“Where to now?” I asked, glancing over at the jewelry store wanting to look inside it, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to do anything with Luke standing beside me.

“Home I guess,” Luke answered, pulling out his cell phone to look at the time. He hadn’t received a call or a text from Henry, or he had silenced it. When it disappeared back into his pocket I looked up to see him looking towards his truck. “I have an angry mother waiting for me by now.”

“Then we can make her wait a little longer,” I said as I shuffled my feet waiting for him to make the decision, but not pushing him towards the one I wanted. I wanted to drive until we found a nice place to eat, or slowly back towards home, but not make it there until well after dark. I didn’t want the day to end, even if it was just the start of a long school week. The finish line of the whole thing was in sight and part of me wanted to soak up the last of all my high school time too. Luke was always where I wanted to be though, and him wanting to end the night early with a normal drive home didn’t seem to fit what we just went through. I wanted him, I’ll always want him.

“Okay then,” he said smirking as he pulled out his truck keys. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere,” I answered smiling, “better with food or the promise of sex though, or both.”

“Shut up,” he groaned, stepping off the sidewalk as I laughed and bounded down to the passenger side and opened my door. I climbed in quicker since he was thinking of the bandage and when he awkwardly slid in, I knew he was busted. No way Cindy wouldn’t be watching for him to pull up, she always did. He would have to do one hell of an acting job to get past her and up to his room. I hoped he had thought the time it took for it to heal as well, three weeks of hiding. We had done almost a whole year of that, so maybe he would be able to hide this too.

We finally landed on eating drive thru specials at the closest one. My stomach growled as soon as the bag touched my hands. Luke drove us to a high spot in a hilly hayfield close to home that I never took a second glance at. We ended up in the back of his truck bed. It was one of Troy’s neighbors, we came in the back roads dodging both our houses, and now we were officially trespassing. It was uncomfortable laying on steel that rose and fell in ridges, it was a little dirty, but dry. I looked up at the clear sky as it turned a bland shade of white before the pinks and oranges came. Luke was nestled beside me, not really talking past playful touches every now and then that ended as quick as they started. We didn’t plan on staying until the first few stars broke through the lingering light, but a few kisses had kept him there. I hoped the distractions would keep him lingering there with me a little longer, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop time completely.

The more I thought about the day, what it all had meant, I knew I was lucky to have found this here, the most unexpected thing to happen to me by miles. The best fucking year of my life couldn’t have looked more different than what I had planned for it. Shaking my head I smiled and waited while he struggled with the decision to stay here with me or go on home and I knew, as clear as the sky I looked up at, that I would wait for him. Georgia and home may be separating us by the end of all this, but if waiting meant I got to keep him I would do it if that’s what he wanted.

I knew he had to see his own dreams through, just as I did mine and I finally settled my head around the thought. Stubborn as I was, I hadn’t wanted to until now. I had already added a new dream of my own as it was. I was already dreaming about coming back to him, to love him for as long as he’d have me. This may be the best year by far, but I couldn’t help looking forward to the rest of them. My breath caught thinking of what milestones they could hold. If I had him, I could welcome them. It would give me the strength to get through the next four years of only seeing him in brief moments of freedom. If I had him to come back to, I could afford a little faith in us to have a few more dreams. He was as permanently there in them as my handwriting now etched into his skin.

“You ready?” I asked when I heard him sigh knowing my fingers tracing lines down his arm wasn’t going to hold him much longer.

“Yeah,” he answered and I glanced up towards the sky one last time to hopefully burn this day into memory before I felt him leave my side as he sat up. Following him, I rolled up to my knees and then to my feet.

We climbed over the tailgate and down the back bumper. I walked to the passenger side and opened the door. After we got inside, I helped him dodge ditches and hidden holes as we drove out of the field and back onto the road. He dropped me off at my house and I watched him back out and start towards his house next door before turning and walking up the sidewalk to finish off the rest of the night.