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Do You Ship Us? - 39. Too Soon?

“How are you guys all feeling? Excited for your mini tour?” Chris asks as he meets the boys in the lobby of the first hotel.

Oh you have no idea.” Jasper states, pushing his hair from his face and avoiding looking at Chris out of fear that his face would somehow give away what he had planned for their final show.

“I’ve booked you all in a twin room, here’s your keys. Don’t stay up too late tonight, you’ve got a big day tomorrow, we’re travelling to the next location straight after tomorrow night’s show so you’ll need your energy. Here’s the key to your room. The car will be here to pick you all up tomorrow after lunch so make sure you’re ready to go.” Chris hands the room keys to Simon.

“Who’s styling us for the show?” Luke asks, a slight bitterness in his voice that Fi wasn’t working for them anymore.

“Oh, I haven’t got one yet, so you’ll be getting yourselves ready. I’ve picked out the clothes for the show but your hair and whatever stage make-up you’re into you’ll have to do yourselves.”

“Cool, well I’m keen to just get to our room and relax since we’ve got such a big day tomorrow.”

“Jasper, just remember you’re sharing the room with the other guys alright.” Chris warns, Jasper frowns at him and shrugs.

“Yeah and?”

“Be mindful and appropriate.” Chris states.

“What do you mean?” Jasper crosses his arms.

“You know what I mean. Just remember there are other people there and they mightn’t feel comfortable with...”

“Excuse me, these guys are adults and if they are uncomfortable with anything at any point, they can use their big boy voices and tell me themselves. Unless one of them tells me they are ‘uncomfortable’ with me, I think I’m good thanks. So you can stick your fake concern up your ass and mind your own business.” Jasper turns and walks off towards the lifts, deciding to wait there for the others to join him to save himself having any more of a go at Chris.

“I don’t know how you guys deal with his attitude all the time.” Chris sighs.

“Well we just treat him like normal and talk to him with respect and we basically don’t get the attitude. That works pretty well.” Blake rolls his eyes.

“Yeah well he’s been getting a lot of media attention lately, and you guys haven’t had much yourselves. That’s going to cause issues for you all if it continues, you want attention on all of you and...”

“Jasper didn’t ask for the attention he’s been getting and he’s been doing well to keep his mouth shut about it all. Right now, I’m sure after this tour we’ll all be back in the media spotlights anyway. We really should be headed to our room now to settle in for the night but we’ll see you tomorrow.” Simon sighs and turns, leading the others to the lifts where Jasper was waiting.

“Thanks for standing up for me Simon.” Jasper says quietly.

“He’s such a dick, I cannot wait to never have anything to do with him again.” Simon replies in a whisper as the lift doors close and they are alone.

“Does he know that we all know about you two? Because I was assuming he was talking about you guys not having like super loud sex or something.” Luke asks blatantly. Jasper just groans and leans his head back against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Just kill me now.” He mutters dramatically then looks at Ryan. “This is why it’s never going to happen.” He tells him.

“Oh sorry, I thought you guys would have by now.” Luke apologises and steps out after Simon following down the hall to their room.

“Nope, there’s no chance of privacy in our lives.” Jasper follows with Ryan and Blake behind him, Simon swipes the keycard at the door and opens it up, letting everyone in. After quickly scoping out the rooms, Simon, Luke and Blake set their bags in one room while Jasper and Ryan set up in the room with a double bed.

“Are you ok?” Ryan asks, lying beside Jasper who’d thrown himself on the bed and buried his head in his pillow.

“Everyone is making me so uncomfortable.” Jasper complains.

“That’s funny, weren’t you the one supposedly making everyone else uncomfortable?” Ryan asks with a smile.

“Mm, by being obnoxiously loud apparently. At least that’s what Luke is assuming and that is really awkward for him to suggest.” Jasper answers before shoving his face back into his pillow and groaning again.

“I think he was saying that more as a suggestion of what Chris was trying to say. I don’t think he has spent any time considering whether you’d be loud or not. That would be weird.”

“That’s not comforting, they are probably all out there thinking we’re doing it right now.” Jasper gets up and walks out of the room quickly, leaving the door wide open so everyone could see nothing had been going on, but Luke was on his phone out on the balcony and Simon was reading through the guest book. Jasper looks back into the bedroom to see Ryan had gotten off the bed, Jasper heads over to the kitchen were Blake was putting beers in the freezer for the night.

“Is your bed comfy?” Blake asks.

“We weren’t doing anything, I laid down for a minute to cringe into my pillow over Luke’s comment, that’s all.” Jasper says defensively.

“You know I’m not coy, if I wanted to know if you were messing about I’d just ask you how Ryan was. I only ask because Luke and I are in a bunk bed and it made me remember our first tour when we were all in a tiny room with two bunk beds and you thought it was the coolest thing on the world but they were so uncomfortable that none of us got any sleep at all. Luke feels awful for making the assumption by the way, he’s asked me like 5 times whether he should apologise again or whether that would make you more awkward. Which I’m guessing it would given how defensive you are.” Blake teases, closing the freezer and taking his cooler bag back to his bedroom, Jasper follows him in.

“Blake, can I ask you a question.” Jasper crosses his arms over his chest.


“How do you know when it’s not too soon to tell someone you love them?” Jasper asks nervously playing with his hair.

“What?” Blake gawks at him shocked.

“I know, it’s way too soon isn’t it? We haven’t been together long enough for that kind of thing.” Jasper sighs.

“You’re in love with Ryan?” Blake was only half asking it, more just stating it in surprise.

“I don’t know.” Jasper shrugs. “Is it too soon?”

“The only time it is ever too soon to tell someone you love them, is before you know you mean it.” Blake comments with a grin.

“Ok so how do I know when I definitely mean it?” Jasper asks sighing sadly and places his hand over his heart.

“How do you think you feel?” Blake asks.

“I don’t know, I can’t explain it. I just cannot put words to it. Everything is so intense right now though so I don’t know if how I feel is just a mix of all the other stuff going through my mind right now. I just get this feeling when I look at him or hear his voice or just think about him and I just. Ughhh.” Jasper sighs and shakes his head.

“You’re blushing.” Blake tells him quickly with a smirk.

“Am I?” Jasper places his hands over his cheeks and pats them, noticing how hot his cheeks were. “I’m a hot mess.”

“You’re in love.” Blake nudges him teasingly. “So nice to see you this happy and flustered over someone, you deserve happiness.” Blake grabs him by his shoulders, turns him around points him towards his and Ryan’s room. “Go in and be all lovey dovey with your ‘love’.” Blake orders and practically pushes Jasper through the door. Jasper stumbles in, cheeks still red and only burning harder as he trips into the arms of the man he’d just been talking about. Ryan catches him and steadies him with a smile.

“Falling for me?” Ryan asks cheekily, Jasper pulls away from Ryan quickly and rushes off to the bathroom to cool his face off. “You ok?” Ryan follows him and knocks on the door.

“Yeah just, overwhelmed.” Jasper calls out taking deep breaths to calm himself down.

“Come out and talk to me about it, I’m good at understanding those feelings.” Ryan insists. Jasper looks at his face, seeing it’s paled back to his normal colour and complexion. With a few more deep breaths, he steps back to the door and opens it.

“Sorry.” He shrugs. “I’m fine.” Ryan takes Jasper by the hands and leads him over to the bed. Jasper sits with him, they sit down on the edge and Ryan puts his hand on Jasper’s knee.

“What can I do to help?” He asks.

“Just distract me with some kissing?” Jasper suggests, giving a flirty shrug.

“Have you noticed you have unhealthy ways of distracting yourself from the real problems you should be dealing with?” Ryan asks with a laugh.

“Ok Mr Therapy, can’t we just make out first though?” Jasper asks.

“Are we going to talk later, if we make out now?” Ryan raises an eyebrow at him and watches Jasper roll his eyes. Jasper leans closer, his lips teasingly close to Ryan’s.

“Promise we will talk later.” Jasper whispers.

You are so hard to read, last night you were talking about deep feelings and today you’re trying to keep me out of your struggles.”

“You’re front and center of my struggles, before you I was happily unaware of where my interest in men was. You’re the whole reason I’m coming out this tour and that’s the whole reason I’m stressed, not to mention that my parents are going to find out too and I’ll probably never hear from them again.” Jasper lies down and sighs, placing his hands over his face.

“Should you call them and tell them yourself before the show?” Ryan suggests.

“Wouldn’t make a difference. I’d rather be as far away from their disappointment as I can be, save myself whatever emotion that could bring out. I might surprise myself and end up caring more than I expected I would. This way, I can just continue on with life with no idea how much they hate me or whatever. What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” Jasper moves his hands from his face and looks up at Ryan who was listening intently.

“I’m really sorry you don’t think they will be supportive. I really wish you didn’t have that to go through.” Ryan lies down beside him and holds his hand, lifting it and placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles, Jasper smiles at him and rolls over.

“I talked about my feelings, now it’s time for that kiss.” Jasper insists.

“That’s fair.” Ryan smirks and leans in to kiss him but they are interrupted by the door opening.

“Guys, woah. Sorry.” Blake starts laughing and Ryan quickly sits up, Jasper rolling his eyes and sitting up next to him.

“Blake, we were just...” Jasper starts.

“Talking.” Ryan cuts in.

“No. You weren’t. But that’s fine. I can handle walking in on some clothes on kissing. I just wanted to say we’re cracking open drinks and playing cards and ordering pizza. But there’s no rush for you guys to join us.” Blake asks, pointing at the door.

“No, it’s fine.” Jasper moves slightly away from Ryan. “Can you start knocking though?”

“I’m happy for you both and I’m comfortable enough that I can see you guys sitting next to each other as a couple, being romantic and couply. Frankly, I feel more uncomfortable with you scattering from each other when I enter a room.” Blake shrugs.

“That means a lot to us.” Ryan reaches over to Jasper and puts his hand on his knee.

“Yeah that’s lovely Blake. Also though, privacy.” Jasper gives Ryan and look and Ryan just laughs.

“Learn how to lock a door Jasper.” Blake teases.

“When a couple are in a room, you knock or you’ll end up seeing something that you’ll never be able to unsee.” Jasper shrugs and gets up from the bed.

“I’d probably just dig my eyes out with rusty spoons and move on with life.” Blake shrugs while Ryan cringes at the idea.

“Why rusty spoons?” He asks.

“For dramatic effect.”

“Blake, get out. You’ve killed the mood and now you’re putting me off dinner too.” Jasper pushes him towards the door. “Bye.” He opens the door and waves him out.

“Sorry ‘lovebirds’.” Blake winks and walks out, Jasper just slams the door shut behind him and leans against it.

“See, this is why we can’t move forward with things.” Jasper gives Ryan a cheeky smile. Ryan just gets up from the bed and walks over, backing Jasper against the door completely, reaching beside him and locking the door smoothly, kissing him swiftly on the lips.

“Or we could learn to just lock the door.” He whispers before collecting his lips in a heated kiss. Jasper slips his arms around Ryan’s neck and kisses back allowing Ryan to sweep him away in the passion of the moment for as long as he could before needing a breath.

Ohh, ok. Well we’re kinda expected at dinner soon so, quick shower?” Jasper places his hands on Ryan’s chest and pushes him lightly. Ryan steps back and nods.

“I don’t know what’s actually worse, you flat out rejecting me, or you giving me a taste and then pushing me away.” Ryan tells him with a shrug.

“Who said I was pushing you away? Surely we can’t get interrupted through two locked doors, right?” Jasper undoes his pants and slides them down his legs, kicking them off and turning to walk into the bathroom, he casts a quick cheeky look over his shoulder and slips his thumbs in the sides of his underwear. Ryan could feel his heart pounding faster watching Jasper’s simple but extremely effective teasing. He doesn’t say anything, just pulls his shirt off and throws it at the bed on his way to the bathroom too.


“Perfect timing, the pizza just arrived.” Luke smiles as Jasper and Ryan walk out of the bedroom.

“Well I figured it wasn’t you three that smelt good.” Jasper jokes, walking over to lounge area and sitting on the floor where the pizza boxes were spread out and Blake was dealing for a game of cards on the coffee table

“Sorry about before, I know you were hoping for a bit of special time but I figured pizza was your first love so...”

“Shut up please I didn’t say anything.” Jasper whispers quickly and glances at Ryan who was talking quietly with Luke and Simon. “What are they whispering about?” He asks.

“Probably you? Luke and Simon are worried about your plan to come out, they are probably going to be asking him if you’re still ok and going through with it until it’s over. Don’t mind them. You’re good right?” Blake asks. Jasper smiles and opens one of the pizza boxes and opens it, grabbing a slice and starting to eat.

“Trust me, right now, I’m so much more than just good.” He winks and takes another bite. Simon, Luke and Ryan walk over to join them, Ryan sits next to Jasper and places a hand on his knee. Jasper just smiles at him and continues eating. Blake looks between them and gives a smirk and nod.

“Aren’t you two just the cutest? All loved up.” Blake comments, pushing the card piles towards everyone as they take their spots on the floor and start eating.

“What game are we playing.” Ryan asks, looking at his cards.

“Strip poker.” Jasper jokes and he and Ryan give each other a look.

“Yeah, no. First of all, you suck at poker and Ryan’s the only one who would have fun watching you lose your clothes.” Blake tells him with a cheeky smile.

“I don’t have to challenge him to poker for that.” Ryan comments and Jasper quickly pulls away from him and slaps his arm.

“Anyway~” Simon clears his throat loudly. “Just the usual. Who’s going first?”

“Jasper can, since he loves this game so much.” Blake winks at him. Jasper turns and glares daggers at Blake.

“I didn’t realize it was everyone’s night to pick on me.” Jasper rolls his eyes as he picks up a card, looks at his hand and places one of the cards down beside the pile.

“Just the one I needed.” Ryan smirks and picks up the card Jasper had just put down, then places it down in a set of 3 in front of himself before throwing one of his cards down in place of Jasper’s. “I love you.” He smiles. Jasper stares at him shocked and Blake just starts laughing. “Sorry, I don’t mean. Like I wouldn’t tell you for the first time in a card game, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Ryan smiles.

“Have you guys not even said ‘I love you’ yet?” Luke scoffs.

“You don’t rush the important stuff.” Ryan shrugs and slides an arm over Jasper’s shoulder.

“Ok, don’t act smooth like you’re not trying to look at my cards.” Jasper shrugs Ryan’s arm off his shoulder then glances at Blake who had a smirk on his face, no doubt enjoying the way Jasper was internally dying, the longer it took for those words to come out of Jasper’s mouth, the longer he would have to deal with Blake giving him these looks and teasingly bringing up the topic. This week was not the week for such proclamations though, Jasper needed to be confident and strong in his actions, if he told Ryan how he felt, and Ryan didn’t feel the same way or thought he was ‘rushing’ things it would really ruin his confidence and their big exit wouldn’t be as impressive. He had to go out with no question about how strongly Ryan stood behind him when they make their final performance of the tour.

Claire Rosalind
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Awesome chapter. Chris is definitely trying to cause trouble with in the band, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

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