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Do You Ship Us? - 90. Famous Last Words

Guys welcome back to the podcast. I know we’ve had a lot of people worried about us the last few days, so we just wanted to come on here quickly and let everyone know what is going on. It won’t be a long one because we are functioning on a plethora of pain meds so we’re even less capable of running this than usual, but we really wanted to just give a quick update on our recovery and what to expect from us in the future. Starting with you Blake, ‘cause you’ve got some pretty exciting news as of today. Jasper introduces.

Yes I moved my toe. Blake states proudly.

“A room full of grown ass men, and you bet we all cheered about Blake moving his toe, and then laughed about it.

"It's amazing the things you take for granted." Blake laughs.

"But it is really good news because I don’t think the fans knew this but that first few days we weren’t sure if your leg was dying and needed amputation or if it was going to survive and start repairing itself so it’s actually a really big deal that you’re starting to get feeling back and have been able to start moving your foot a little bit.” Jasper explains, beyond excited for his friend’s recovery, it'd been a tumultuous week with Blake in and out of surgery every 2-3 days to assess whether or not he would keep his leg.

Yeah it really kept us on our toes.” Blake remarks, casting Jasper a smirk.

“Exactly. Now we are at least a step in the right direction.”

“My recovery is finally afoot!” Blake’s pun sets Jasper off laughing.

“Ow. Don’t make me laugh. Ow.” Jasper rests his hand gently on his chest as he tries to calm himself down. “Jerk.”

“Sorry.” Blake rubs Jasper’s back. “Worlds’ worst friend.”

“I’ll forgive you just this once.” Jasper sighs.

“Do you want to update them on how you are doing?” Blake suggests.

“I’m good, I’m actually able to go home today which is why we are doing this now. I’ve still got a lot of pain in my chest, obviously, so I have to be very careful for a while but apparently ribs self-repair? Bodies are freaking wild, right? So as long as I take it easy for a bit I’ll be back to normal in no time. The worst thing is I can’t play the piano at the moment because of my hand, and I also can’t sing until my ribs have healed because excessive use of my diaphragm is painful.” Jasper explains with another sigh.

“So other than not being able to do anything you enjoy, you’re fine.” Blake asks jokingly.

“Absolutely fine. The bonus is while Blake is in hospital bored as hell, he and I are going to take advantage of this time to get some more music together for you all. It’s a great distraction, though you’ll have to bare with us because between visitors and the complications of managing our pain and injuries we’re not making great progress just yet. As I said I can barely contribute past writing lyrics, meanwhile Blake’s here with two munged up legs but perfect vocals and he can at the very least play guitar. So, it’s a process of us coming up with ideas and then me doing absolutely nothing while Blake plays around with chords and sings.” Jasper replies disappointed by his lack of ability to do anything, like Blake said, the things he enjoyed most were limited for him. Whereas Blake’s injuries, though more substantial, didn’t affect him musically at all.

Yeah we had this idea that we’d spend the whole time we were in hospital together, smashing out new music but I have to have my wounds surgically cleaned every few days which writes me off for almost the entire day, and then what’s left is whatever time we are both feeling ok, usually after a meds round and even then, it depends on how much the pain killers knock us around.” Blake nods, glancing at Jasper who was nodding too.

“Clearly it's knocking you around because that was not a completed sentence, but I'm pretty sure the fans will know what you meant. It’s hard but we promise we’re not just sitting around in here feeling sorry for ourselves, we are hoping when Blake gets out, that we can have things ready to produce. It’s been incredible watching the response to our latest album, though I’m fairly sure it’s because we’re in hospital, right? People feel sorry for us and are trying to make our album a huge success on the charts to give us something to motivate our recovery.” Jasper shrugs.

“It’s working, I got so excited I wiggled a toe.” Blake states proudly and it’s the absurdity of that comment from Blake of all people that makes Jasper laugh again.

“Ow. Ow. Ow.” He breathes. Blake's no help this time, just laughing at Jasper's pain, high off his face on morphine. They talk for as long as they can, but are thankful when Mark turns up to visit them and they have an excuse to end the podcast.

“So good to finally see you both, how are you guys? Gave me a hell of a fright.” Mark stands before Jasper, hesitant on how to express his relief to see him alright, knowing that a hug was out of the question, he extends a hand. “It doesn’t feel like enough but I don’t want to cause you any more pain.” He states. Jasper shakes his hand and Mark turns to Blake.

“I’m fine from the legs up but attached to so many machines I might as well be a cyborg.” Blake comments, pressing the morphine release and sighing as it doesn't release another dose yet. Now that he was on the path to recovery and getting feeling back in his leg it was almost too much to cope with when the drugs were wearing off. His foot tingled constantly to a frustrating point, he almost wished he couldn't feel his leg. Amputation sounded good right now, even though he knew things would eventually get better, he knew it'd be a battle to get through the recovery.

“Truth be told I am not good at any of the gore so I’ll be staying up this end of the bed.” Mark says with a nervous laugh, actively avoiding looking down at Blake's legs, even though they were the only part of Blake that was covered, it's not like with two broken legs he could wear any form of underwear so waist down was always covered by the blanket.

“Ah good idea then because my legs are all kinds of fucked up.” Blake tells him.

“How are you both? Is there anything you need that I can get for you?” Mark offers as he pats Blake on the shoulder.

“A new wrist and 6 new ribs.” Jasper replies quickly, holding up his casted wrist for emphasis.

“Two femurs and an artery?” Blake adds.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Mark smiles at them and shakes his head, impressed with their quick wit and relentless joking around despite their situation. “Looks like you’re setting up a studio in here.” He nods at Blake’s guitar on one table, computer, microphone and headphones on another.

“Well, since we’re a band of two and we’ve been stuck together in hospital we’ve had plenty of time to work on stuff.” Blake replies, picking up the guitar and plucking at the strings. “Life is short. We got a second chance so I don’t want to waste any time.”

“Amen.” Jasper states and Blake looks at him confused.

“You can tell your parents have been visiting." He comments.

"Ryan told me they had come to visit, how have they been?" Mark asks.

“Mostly not assholes.” Jasper answers. “I mean they have thanked Ryan for taking care of me but when I asked him to help me shower the other day they gave me the dirtiest look, like they thought we were going into the bathroom to fuck. I have this thing on my arm and half my chest is broken so I can’t dress and undress myself which is already embarrassing enough, without my parents thinking I’m asking Ryan to escort me to the bathroom for a quickie while my whole family sits around my hospital bed.” Jasper rolls his eyes. He was finding this whole lack of independence really frustrating, unlike Blake who seemed to be thrilled with getting bed baths from Beth when she visited in the afternoons.

“Maybe they shouldn’t visit you at shower times then? What do they expect?" Blake suggests with a shrug.

“Oh no I take a shower when they have been visiting for a while just so they get uncomfortable and leave. I've never been so clean.” Jasper replies so plainly it completely sends Blake into a laughing fit. Jasper bites his lip, trying not to laugh at Blake's laughter.

"You just.. You... Your homophobic parents... And you're like... Get naked with me so they leave!" Blake has officially lost it.

"He doesn't get naked with me. to be honest unless I actually need a shower we just go in there and turn the shower then wait like, 5 minutes. He'll go out to 'get me clean clothes' but most of the time they have left or are leaving by then and so he'll just open the door and tell me they're gone. Problem solved." Jasper explains but Blake is laughing too hard to hear him. The first time he'd taken a shower, he'd really needed one. He'd been unconscious for a day and sweaty and covered in blood and fluids from ripping out his IV line, and none of that had mattered to him until after he'd visiting Blake. By the time he'd gotten back to his room only to find his parents awkwardly just hanging around, showing concern but still disconnected from him, Jasper really just didn't have it in him to give a damn about anything they wanted. All that was on his mind was a shower, and he'd gotten as far as the bathroom door before realizing that there was no way in hell he could manage to undress one handed. The look on his parents faces when he called Ryan in to help him get undressed had made the petty part of him truly satisfied and when Ryan had left the room for a moment, only to return and tell him his parents had left, it had been such a relief that he couldn't help using their discomfort to his advantage.

“Hopefully this is a learning opportunity for them and they start learning to be respectful of you." Mark smiles at Jasper, a sadness in his eyes. Jasper smiles back at him, he appreciated Mark so much, but he knew that because of losing his own son, Mark had a dreamlike optimism that Jasper's parents would reconcile their relationship and be actual decent parents.

“I’m impressed that Ryan called them, despite how they have treated us and him just shows he's the bigger person.” Jasper looks at Blake who was nodding in agreement.

“Wait, Ryan called them? I would have thought it was Grace." Blake finally calms down enough to ask.

"No, Ryan did it apparently." Jasper shrugs.

"I was with him when he did." Mark states with a sigh.

“Was he, ok?” Jasper asks sadly. Ryan had already told Jasper about what he was doing when he got the phone call. He was with Mark, about to head to a meeting with a group of dancers he was choreographing for a music video. Ryan didn't seem to remember much past answering the phone and finding himself in Mark's car, heading to the hospital.

“He was very calm when he was relaying the information. In shock a bit, I think. He just told them what he knew, ‘there was an accident, he’s on the way to the hospital, I’m told he’ll be ok’.” Mark answers, he didn’t need to tell Jasper about the less calm moments, the way Ryan had broken down after making the phone call to his own mum to tell her what had happened. It was like the news hadn’t felt real until he had to tell her, and then he could let it consume him, with her voice to comfort him on the other end of the phone.

“Did you tell Luke and Simon?” Blake asks.

“I did, but only after Ryan and Flynn had been able to visit you both. I figured that they didn’t need anyone else bombarding them about your condition in that time. And we managed to keep it out of the publics’ knowledge until the police report came out the next day. Then of course we had to make a statement about your conditions because it became a media frenzy.” Mark rolls his eyes. “How are you feeling about Luke and Simon though, we haven’t really had a chance to talk about your plans, I'm really sorry about their decision.”

“Honestly, I’m pumped to just fuck shit up on tour with just this badass.” Blake grins at Jasper as he strums away on his guitar again.

“You know I’m going to tell you to ‘break a leg’ every single night before we go on stage.” Jasper smiles at Blake.

“I expect nothing less.” Blake laughs.

“Ok, well, I look forward to helping make that happen. For now though, I’m sure you need rest so I'll leave you both to it.” Mark smiles and shakes Blake’s hand, then Jasper’s.

Oh I will rest, I’m about to be put under to get all of this cleaned up.” Blake lies his head back against the pillow and gestures at his legs. Surgery day was weirdly his favourite, he got to be wiped out on drugs and lose a day worth of laying around hopelessly in this hospital bed.

“And I get to go home to my own bed.” Jasper yawns on cue, he'd also not enjoyed being stuck in hospital and couldn't wait to just be back in his own space, no one but Ryan to fuss over him, and he knew Ryan would definitely be fussing over him more than the nurse. As it was, with no medical training, Ryan was backseat nursing like he was one of them.

"Good night's sleep all around. You guys deserve it. I'll catch up with you both again soon, take care." Mark gives a wave and heads out of the room.

“You are going to visit me too, right?” Blake asks Jasper.

“Are you kidding? I’m outta here. I never want to step foot in a hospital again.” Jasper smiles at Blake, knowing he’d be back in just a few hours to keep Blake company after his surgery.

“Don’t blame you. Enjoy your freedom.” Blake states as Jasper gets up to leave.

“Enjoy your morphine.” Jasper replies. Blake laughs again and gives him the finger, Jasper gives it right back. They bump fists and Jasper turns to leave. “I’ll see you when I’m out of drugs.” He jokes as he walks out, heading back to his room to get his things together for discharge.

 

“You working on new music?” Ryan asks as he brings a drink over to the piano for Jasper.

“Trying to.” Jasper mashes a bunch of keys down dramatically then leans his head against the piano. “I feel useless with this stupid cast on.” He whines. Ryan sits beside him and kisses his cheek then leans his head on his shoulder. "Sorry. Just having a moment.” Jasper sighs, leaning his head on Ryan's. “I shouldn’t complain though hey. I am alive at least.”

“You’re allowed to be upset about your injuries.” Ryan kisses Jasper’s shoulder. “In the meantime, do you need a hand?” He smiles at Jasper and holds up his own left hand.

Literally.” Jasper scoffs. You’re just a walking cliche aren’t you?” He smiles.

“Just because I capitalize on any opportunity to be a stereotypical love interest.” Ryan gently runs his fingers over Jasper’s and leans down to kiss his knuckles. Jasper could feel tears welling in his eyes as Ryan’s lips touch his ring finger. He hadn’t asked yet, and Ryan hadn’t brought it up either, but he didn’t know where the ring was Ryan had gotten him. Ryan sighs and sits up straight again. “So, teach me how to play the chords. I want to hear what you’re working on.”

 

“He may be able to hear you but he won’t be able to respond, it’s a confronting sight.” The nurse kindly explains to Ryan and Grace who were standing anxiously holding hands in the waiting room. They are led out of the room, down a hallway and across to a door. As the door opens they step inside a large room, in the center of it was the bed Jasper was on but the closer they got the less they could feel his presence. Even seeing Jasper asleep felt different to seeing him now, induced in a coma, attached to wires and machines. His body from his waist up was exposed, bruised and swollen. Behind them on the wall was an X-ray of his entire body. On his chest were 6 wires leading to a machine that showed his heart rate pattern, there was a bag of fluid going in through a canula in his right hand, his left hand was swollen to twice the size of his right and covered in a cast already. Jasper’s face was bruised and pale and so expressionless it was like he was looking at a mannequin.

Ryan didn’t know if it was him or Grace that started squeezing their hands together but they were both in a state of shock. Grace lets go of Ryan and goes to Jasper’s side, though she didn’t know what to do when she got there, she kisses his forehead and starts crying silently, so overcome with pain that she couldn’t even make a sound. Ryan puts his arms around her, trying to hold himself together.

“You can talk to him.” The nurse tells them gently. “Sometimes it helps them to hear your voice. Brings them comfort.” She encourages.

“Jasper, I’m here. Ellie and I love you and we need you to get better fast ok?” Grace tells him in the strongest voice she could. But soon she erupts into tears, turning and walking a few steps away to sob. Ryan steps forward, looking at where on Jasper’s body he could possibly touch without hurting him. He wanted so badly to take Jasper in his arms and let him feel how loved he was but he knew he couldn’t touch him without causing pain. He swallows back the ache in his heart and shakes his head.

“Jasper, I love you.” He manages before he feels himself crumbling. “I love you and I’m going to be right here when you wake up, I promise.” Ryan tells him, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss on his lips. He turns to go and comfort Grace, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. They compose themselves, comforted to know he was ok, underneath all the wires and machines. The nurse approaches them with a specimen container, inside which was the broken ring.

“I’m really sorry, but due to the swelling on his fingers it had to be cut off.” She passes Ryan the container and he takes it with shaky hands. Jasper had only gotten to wear it for a week. Ryan pockets the container and puts his arm around Grace again, not letting himself cry over a broken ring.

“I’m sorry Ryan.” Grace says quietly.

“It’s fine. It’s just a ring. At least he is ok.” Ryan says bravely even though he knew the moment he got home he would feel very differently.

“Is there anything you want to ask?” The nurse asks gently.

“When will he wake up?” Grace asks quickly.

“We’ll be transferring him to an orthopedic ward tomorrow morning, and he should be waking up some time tomorrow.”

  

“Mum.” Ryan crumbles the moment he gets inside their apartment. His mum had been anxiously waiting for him all afternoon, wanting to be there when he got home. “He looks worse than he is. But he’s in an induced coma.” Ryan walks towards his mum, his legs feeling weak with every step, Jules gets up from the couch and rushes to wrap her rms around him. “6 broken ribs, I can’t even hug him. I just really wanted him to know I was there but I couldn’t even hug him.” Ryan sinks into his mum’s embrace. “I thought I lost him.” He admits through tears as he finally gets a chance to let out all the stress and fears he'd been desperately trying to hold in all day.

 

“How do you feel about your parents turning a new leaf with you?” Ryan asks as Jasper stops playing.

“I don’t know.” Jasper sighs and leans against Ryan’s shoulder again. “We’ll see how long it lasts, I guess.”

“At least they are making the effort though, right? I mean they were polite about you and me.” Ryan reminds him.

“Polite might be a stretch, I mean really what do you think they are going to say when I’m in hospital after a near death experience? It’s a very low standard to say that being decent people is them being ‘polite’. But I guess, if me nearly dying is what they needed, to remind them that they do actually want me in their life, then I’ll give them the chance. It’s not like I’m going into it thinking they are going to magically accept me and you.” Jasper looks at Ryan with a sad smile. Ryan brushes Jasper’s hair from his eyes and gently runs his hand along Jasper’s jawline before leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.

“I love you.” Ryan whispers when they lips part. Jasper turns to face Ryan more and hisses at the pain in his chest that stung and brought tears to his eyes. Ryan looks at his watch. “It’s time for your next lot of meds.” Ryan tells him, getting up and kissing Jasper’s forehead before heading into the kitchen to get Jasper some more water and his pain killers. Jasper gets up from the piano, heading into the bedroom to lie down, knowing the medications would knock him out. Ryan walks in to see Jasper sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for him. Ryan hands him his pills and Jasper counts them then takes them all in one go, following it up with water and then he groans as he moves his legs onto the bed and down.

“God broken ribs suck.” Jasper mutters, laying back and closing his eyes.

“Hopefully it settles when the drugs kick in.” Ryan sighs. “I wish there was more I could do for you.” He shakes his head, feeling completely useless.

“It’s hard because you can’t even put like an ice-pack or anything on it because it’s too heavy.” Jasper whines, gently running his fingers across his chest, which gives Ryan a brilliant idea.

“I could run some ice cubes across your chest.” He suggests with a smirk. Jasper smiles and opens his eyes looking at Ryan curiously.

“Kinky.” He nods, considering the idea. “Go on then.” He winks. Ryan leaves the room and returns with a cup full of ice cubes moments later. He unbuttons Jasper’s shirt and bites his lip as he sees how swollen and bruised it was, no matter how many times he'd seen the bruising it never got easier to see him like this. The idea might have been sexy, but the reality definitely wasn’t. Still Jasper looked serenely calm as Ryan took out an ice cube and placed it down on the middle of Jasper’s chest. “Oooh.” Jasper flinches.

“If it’s not helping, I’ll stop.” Ryan promises. Jasper nods but doesn’t speak so Ryan starts gliding the melting ice across his chest slowly and gently.

“That’s really nice actually.” Jasper breathes. Ryan continues running the cube along him until it’s completely melted, then he fetches another and starts again, using the ice to draw and write all over Jasper’s bruised skin. It wasn't much, but he would do this all day long if it would help bring Jasper some comfort during his recovery. Jasper was relaxed, a smile on his face as Ryan soothed him, and Ryan was just thrilled to be not useless. When he ran out of ice, he could see that Jasper had fallen asleep so he leaves him to rest. He takes a moment to appreciate how good it was to at least have Jasper at home where he could take care of him from now on, he'd been so tired from night after night of struggling to sleep, knowing Jasper was in hospital relying on someone else to care for him.

 

After a few hours of sleep, Jasper comes out to find Ryan practicing the chords he’d learnt on the piano earlier. He stands back and listens while he sends Flynn a quick text to ask if Blake was out of surgery yet. It was a fairly big procedure but not a particularly long one. Remove the part of the machine that was suctioning out the dead cells from his legs. Remove all the staples that held it in place, clean the wound and check for infection, replace the packing and staple it back up, over 3 parts of his leg he was usually only out for about an hour then in recovery for another half hour or so. Flynn had sent a text just as Jasper was falling asleep to say he had just been taken in for surgery. Jasper shakes his head as Ryan hits the wrong key, then smiles as he hears Ryan correct himself.

“You’re a fast learner.” Jasper comments, walking over and leaning against the piano. Ryan plays a bunch of keys, looking lovingly into Jasper's eyes as though serenading him, though it's just a cacophony of notes that didn't work well together. Not like when Jasper would tinker away and it actually sounded melodic and sophisticated. "Beautiful. Motzart would weep." Jasper says sarcastically.

“Did you have a good sleep?” Ryan asks.

“Yeah, it’s much quieter here without machines beeping in my ears.” Jasper nods then checks his phone to see the reply from Flynn. “Can you take me up to see Blake? Flynn says he should be out of surgery soon.” Jasper leans his head against Ryan’s shoulder.

“Of course.” Ryan kisses Jasper’s forehead.

“Thank you.” Jasper smiles and gets up from the seat, reaching his hand out for Ryan to take. Ryan takes his hand and stands up too, moving in close and delicately placing one hand on Jasper’s cheek, the other on his hip, bringing him close and kissing him softly on the lips. He wanted to hold him tighter and kiss him harder, to cherish him in his entirety but for now delicate kisses and touches were all he could do.

 

Grace was standing at the lift seemingly waiting for them when they turned up at the hospital car park 20 minutes later. She sees their car straight away and starts walking quickly towards where they pulled in to park, her head down the whole time. Jasper hops out just as Grace reaches their car and the smile he had on to greet her with disappears the moment he sees how deep in thought she was.

“Can you get in the back so we can talk?” Grace asks in a mumble, not even saying hello. Confused, Jasper turns around opens the back door, gesturing for Grace to get in, while giving Ryan a shrug. He climbs in the back of the car with her and closes the door. For a moment she is silent then she reaches for Jasper’s hand and Ryan turns in his seat to see what was going on.

“Grace, are you ok?” Jasper asks, her hands were shaking as they held his and her face was pale.

Blake had another seizure...” Grace starts, her voice shaky and her hand squeezing Jasper’s tight.

“Is he ok? Have they worked out what is causing it?” Jasper asks, Blake's seizure had been traumatic for Jasper to experience so he understood how scared Grace was.

“No. He was in the middle of surgery. The seizure caused, caused him to have a heart attack. They couldn’t...” Grace's words catch in her throat like she can't finish the sentence. Ryan quickly gets out of the front seat and rushes to the back where he squeezes in next to Jasper, wrapping his arms around his waist tight and pressing his face against Jasper's shoulder.

“What? Wait, what, what’s happening?” Jasper goes stiff and though he knew exactly what Grace meant, he couldn’t quite let himself believe it. “But we here to see him though.” Grace just shakes her head and starts crying, a distraught, shattered cry. “No. No. No. No. This isn’t happening. It can’t be. Blake was fine. I was talking to him. I was coming to see him.” There’s a desperation in Jasper’s eyes as he looks over his shoulder at Ryan, hoping that he could somehow give him a better answer, that he could tell Jasper that he was still asleep and this was just some evil dream, but even his nightmares could never be this cruel. Ryan opens his mouth to speak but he had nothing to say. Jasper starts shaking, his heart racing as he looks from Ryan to his sister, needing someone to tell him everything was ok. That Blake was ok.

“I’m so sorry Jasper. There was nothing they could do.” Grace sobs. Jasper shakes his head again, turning to Ryan, his hand in Grace's going weak as his brain tries to process the impossible.

“But he was getting better.” Jasper breathes.

@Copyright (2018), Claire Rosalind; All Rights Reserved.
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Chapter Comments

What a difficult chapter to read. Brought tears to my eyes reading the final few paragraphs. I can't believe Blake is gone. Jasper is really gonna need Ryan as support whilstbhe tries to process.

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The seizures Blake was having was in the back of my mind.If I'm Ryan I wouldn't know what to do or say for Jasper

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Hard chapter to read, although I understand what they were going through as I had 6 broken ribs and one of them was in 2 places. I was going to say that it seemed like they were getting better until the end of the chapter. I’m sorry that Blake didn’t make it after having another seizure during his surgery and having a heart attack that took his life. It’s going to be a very long road to recovery for all of the guys and Grace as they were all close to him. I think Jasper is going to be the worst one of them because he and Blake were so close as friends could be. 

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I never saw this coming after they were both revealed to be alive after the wreck. I mean obviously they hadn’t mentioned the seizure so I was wondering if the cause was known but I never expected Blake to survive his injuries only to die due to another seizure. Admittedly as dark & depressing as it is such situations are realistic which I can appreciate in a story as good as this one. Still, it’s hard to believe such a lovable character as Blake has died especially when things had been finally going so good for them. I also worry about Jasper and the spiral of depression he’s sure to go through with the band disbanding now being combined with the death of his best friend as I can’t imagine the pain he’s in.

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No I can't believe Blake is gone. Please let this be a nightmare Jasper is having.

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22 minutes ago, James B. said:

No I can't believe Blake is gone. Please let this be a nightmare Jasper is having.

Didn't think of that I guess we can hang on to that until the next chapter

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This is beyond heartbreaking, my heart has just been ripped in Two. 💔💔💔💔💔😡

I'll never understand "killing" off a character like this especially with him and Jasper being so close to each other.....I'm so broken right now.

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17 minutes ago, Littlelovestories said:

Hey everyone, first I want to say that I'm sorry, I feel bad reading all the comments, especially the ones hoping Blake isn't really gone. Blake has died, Jasper just doesn't want to believe it, that's why it's worded that way in the chapter. I didn't think it'd be fair to leave you hoping for something else considering what's coming up in the next few chapters.

Also I want everyone to know I loved Blake's character and I cried my eyes out writing this ending, along with some of the worst of what comes next. He's been a special character in my heart and in the story, but the fallout of losing him is incredibly important for the story, this was not done for shock factor.

I feel it's only fair to warn you that there's some difficult to read content coming up as you can imagine and a lot of it is through Jasper's perspective. A few comments here mention concern for Jasper and I will say he does not cope well with his best friends' death. I'm sure you have all seen plenty of times where Blake was the glue holding him together and keeping him in check, and are already concerned about how he is going to cope without that support. The answer is, not well. I understand anyone choosing to not read some of the upcoming chapters that will contain trigger warnings.

Lastly, this story is almost complete, I have 10 more chapters planned and an epilogue, bare with me, I'm not likely to be able to post more than one chapter a week and these are fairly intense chapters to write.

Please don't hate me. 

I'm still hurt.....I didn't see your comment until after I posted mine.

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48 minutes ago, 1brokNangel said:

I'm still hurt.....I didn't see your comment until after I posted mine.

It's definitely fair to be hurt, Blake's character meant a lot to me too and I've been having trouble writing the story without him, his death does have meaning in the story though, even if it's not a positive one to begin with. 

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