The Blue Moon - 24. Chapter 24

Elyssa
"Venni, my sweet boy!" Elyssa Monteilon cried out and fell on her firstborn's neck, tears in her eyes. She had planned this meeting to be quite different. Elyssa had imagined herself gently stroking Venr's arm, saying a few caring words about how the boy needed to eat more, and then giving him a tender embrace.

But when Venr had suddenly appeared before them, in his military uniform and more handsome than ever, Elyssa had been unable to contain herself. Months of longing and motherly love had erupted in the blink of an eye, and she squeezed her son into her arms with far more emotion and force than would have been appropriate for a fine woman.

It was only when she remembered Dareis watching from the side that Elyssa reluctantly pulled away from Venr. Dareis Monteilon gave his wife a mocking look, which did not go unnoticed by her. He must have thought her a sentimental fool from whom he could expect no balanced behaviour.

Dareis's disdain for the female gender was very familiar to Elyssa. So often she had heard him say that women were insufferable whiners and hysterics, incapable of any meaningful work.

But Elyssa had turned her husband's prejudice into a victory: under the spell of his male superiority, Dareis did not always realise what a dangerous opponent his wife was.

Of course, Dareis did not hug his son, it wasn't like him, and it was hardly what Venr had expected. Still, Elyssa had hoped to see at least a little more emotion in her husband's face when he shook hands with their firstborn after more than six months of separation.

"Good to see you, Venr," Dareis said, glancing at his wife as if to show how well men could hide their feelings.

But Elyssa was sure that Dareis had also been affected by the reunion. She knew he had missed Venr too. The only child Dareis Monteilon still recognised as his own.

Despite her recent thought, Elyssa flinched when she heard Venr's first words. "Where is Din? He's all right, isn't he?"

"He's..." Elyssa started, but Dareis rudely interrupted her. "All right? That fairy is out of his mind," Dareis snapped.

Venr's face hardened and Elyssa knew that the argument was only a hair's breadth away. "Zdain is safe in Five Hills with Mr Sandkan," she announced quickly, shooting a scowl at her husband.

"Good," Venr growled, still giving his father an angry glare. Zdain was Venr's soft spot, and the nasty disgrace - as Dareis called it - had only increased Venr's protective instinct towards his little brother. Dareis did not like it, and took every opportunity to insult Zdain in Venr's presence.

Was it too much to ask Dareis to keep his mouth shut just this once? Elyssa had been anxiously waiting to see Venr and certainly didn't want Dareis to spoil everything.

Only now did she take a good look at his older son. Venr looked exactly what any mother would be proud of: he was very handsome, lean and athletic. The military uniform really suited him, and Elyssa was sure that the girls of Dimalos were blushing when Venr passed by.

Venr reminded Elyssa of Zdain, the brothers looked so much alike. Zdain was more delicate and beautiful than handsome, but otherwise a younger version of his brother. The same warm brown eyes, the same hazel hair, the same straight nose and the same charmingly curved lips.

How much easier it would have been if Zdain had looked completely different, if he had been repulsive to look at. Then Elyssa could have forgotten her younger son. She could have put the shame the boy had caused out of her mind and imagined him as a changeling, a monstrosity grown in someone else's womb. But it was not so; Zdain had the features not only of his brother, but of his mother, and no doubt of Dareis as well.

Where had they gone wrong? Had Zdain received too little or the wrong kind of attention from his parents? Had they spoiled the boy and unwittingly planted the seeds of debauchery in him? Or had some of the palace servants harmed the boy in his youth, corrupting an innocent soul? Such things were said to have happened to others, so Elyssa had heard.

But why should this have happened to them, of all people in the Inhabited World? Surely boys who grow up warped should only be born to bad parents, unlike Elyssa and Dareis Monteilon.

Of course, Zdain had always been sensitive, much more so than his cheerful brother. But all this horror might have been avoided with effective education, had the boy not been seduced by that awful black abomination.

Dareis blamed Zdain himself more for what had happened, but for Elyssa the root of the evil was Adenolei Tikienkuu, cursed be his name. That black brute went and contaminated Zdain, destroying the carefully nurtured Monteilon family idyll in the process.

How hard they had to work to keep the gossip from spreading. Dareis had both threatened and bribed the domestic staff after the incident. Nevertheless, some of them had tattled.

Most horrifying of all, the wife of Town Councillor Duhan had confessed to Elyssa during a dinner party that she had heard bad words about Zdain. Elyssa had flatly denied everything and, in a sudden burst of wit, had confided to Mrs Duhan that the problem was not Zdain but Dareis, who wanted to 'fool around a bit with everyone'.

Less than two weeks had passed since Zdain's name had been replaced by Dareis in the dirtiest gossip. How furious Dareis had been then; he had raged and swore to track down the source of the rumour.

This had frightened Elyssa, who realised that she had been careless with her words. The new gossip had made Dareis hate Zdain even more, which of course was not what Elyssa had intended.

Since then, Dareis had blamed Zdain for everything and spent days trying to figure out how to get the boy out of his sight. But sending Zdain away to be raised by others would have further tarnished Dareis' reputation in the eyes of the townsfolk, so he had been forced to abandon his plan.

Eventually, the rumour of Governor Monteilon's perverse taste had spread to the commoners. Elyssa's family had become the object of public ridicule, throwing their lives off course. The fact that she knew the gossip to be untrue did not make it any more bearable.

When Isendar Vargan had added his contribution to the mix, all was quickly lost. The sea of people shouting insults at the Spring Day Festival had been the worst thing Elyssa had ever experienced in her life. Since then, she had no longer felt she owed anything to Paidos or its disgusting inhabitants. For some reason, Dareis had chosen a different path. He was determined to clear his name and reclaim their town. That was why they were now in Dimalos.

When Dareis opened his mouth again, his wife was not surprised. "I have come here on important business. In the name of the emperor, I have come to ask for help to retake our home, to cleanse Paidos of the filth of the shadow walkers. Imagine Venni, me and you fighting side by side for the freedom of Paidos! All I need now is information on how to get to the emperor."

How could anyone be so ridiculously melodramatic, Elyssa thought, noting that Dareis' words had not brought the glow of excitement to Venr's face that he had surely hoped for.

"Father, I'm in the army. I can't just go anywhere," Venr said.

Dareis frowned, probably wondering about his son's reluctance. "I'll take care of it and you'll be off duty tomorrow."

Elyssa had to hold back a derisive laugh. Who did Dareis think he was? He was nothing more than a deposed governor, a mere cipher who was in Dimalos only by the grace of the Blue Moon. "I don't want to be relieved of duty, I like it here," Venr stated, meeting his father's gaze.

"What!" Dareis almost spat. "You're here to earn spurs for your future, not to have fun! Doesn't restoring the family honour mean anything to you? Don't you want to follow me as the imperial governor of Paidos?"

Venr replied rather calmly: "I don't want to. I want to be a soldier."

By now, Dareis had turned red and was shaking with rage. Oh, how Elyssa enjoyed moments like this!

However, in order to protect Venr and for the sake of the Blue Moon's mission, she decided to calm the situation. "Venni, dear, we can talk about this another time. Right now, your father and I need to see the emperor without delay, can you advise who we should contact? We have been given names such as Councillor Oldenbuh and Chancellor Nahonkoi, but neither of them seems to be available."

The words made Venr pale. Why, Elyssa wondered to herself.

Then her son spoke again: "The emperor has not granted an audience to anyone outside the court for two years. It won't work."

"Are the rumours true, is he really ill?"

"I don't know", Venr replied. "That's what they say... but I shouldn't talk about it even if I knew."

"You're not even supposed to tell your own parents?" Dareis snarled, but Elyssa and Venr ignored him.

"What about those gentlemen, Oldenbuh and Nahonkoi, are they sick too?" Elyssa asked, a little wryly.

"They... I can't tell you," Venr faltered and looked away.

This is strange, what had happened? Elyssa tried to formulate her bafflement into a more precise question.

But Dareis spoke up before his wife. "Speak, boy!" he commanded in his sternest governor's voice.

Venr looked uncomfortable, but finally opened his mouth. "They were captured and taken to the Camps. So have many others with them. Don't say you heard it from me. It's not public yet."

To the Camps! The word carried a negative undertone. Of course, Elyssa had never been to the Wintry North, who had? But as a governor's wife, she had managed to get her hands on reports that were strictly forbidden from being published due to censorship. They were harrowing accounts of suffering in prison camps in the icy wilderness. It was almost too gruesome to be true.

It was to this hellhole that some of Dimalos' elite were now being sent. What was going on in the capital? Someone was skillfully weaving their web in the political arena, but for what reason? It was necessary to find out, as the Blue Moon might also be interested in that information. Paidos had to be forgotten once and for all; Elyssa had no interest in returning to the distant province. Dimalos was for the Monteilons, they would be much better off here, near Venr and closer to their dream of a senatorial seat. All that remained was to nudge Dareis in the right direction.

So Elyssa decided to take control of the conversation. "Venni darling, your father and I must meet someone important. If not the emperor, then who? Can you arrange for us to meet someone with power and authority in this city? Do it for us, Venni!"

Venr looked at his mother, serious, without even a little smile at the corners of his mouth. It was as if he was weighing his options.

Dimalos had changed Venr - Elyssa only realised it now. At home in Paidos, the boy had always been all smiles, endlessly energetic and sunny, making even the tense Dareis laugh from time to time. Such a good and lovable boy, his mother's own pet. How much Elyssa had missed Venr's warm laughter!

But now all that cheerfulness was gone. Had it been a good idea to send Venr to the army after all? It had been Dareis' idea, of course.

When Venr spoke, he chose his words carefully, with a caution Elyssa had never seen in her son before. "There is one person. I can try to ask if you can get an audience with him. I don't know if it's possible. He's a hard man, the kind who has power and the courage to use it. By meeting him, you bring yourself under his notice as well. That's not necessarily a good thing. I don't want anything to happen to you..."

Venr's last words were almost desperate. They sounded like a plea to his parents to refuse the offer. It was something so unexpected that even Elyssa hesitated. Did a seat in the Senate really mean that much after all? There was still a chance to leave Dimalos behind, the Blue Moon would find other uses for them. Besides, Elyssa had relatives in Dundres, which was a very charming coastal town.

"Who is this man? We will meet him." Dareis' insistent words thwarted the possibility of retreat.

Elyssa felt she was stepping onto a path that led directly into a mist that obscured all visibility. She sensed that if Dareis thought he could regain Paidos this way, it would not be quick or easy.

Was it an omen or what, for a cold shiver ran through Elyssa as Venr answered his father's question. "He is Marshal General Rezak Vondau, my superior officer."

* * *

Zdain
It was so unbearable to simply be. Zdain sat on his bed, legs crossed, swallowing the discomfort that rose in his throat. He tried to imagine himself somewhere else, but no place came to mind where his thoughts could take flight. There was only this moment, the loneliness and the agonizing wait.

When Josel returned from the lavatory, Zdain turned his gaze to the floor. He couldn't bring himself to meet those blue eyes, dreading the disgust he knew would be reflected in them.

"Monteilon?" he heard himself addressed from across the room.

Yes, of course. Josel called him by his last name again. That said a lot. "What?" Zdain muttered very quietly, waiting for the angry outburst of words.

But there were none yet. "May I sit here?" Josel asked calmly and sat down on Zdain's bed without permission.

Firmly to the other side of the bed, Zdain noticed. Why did Josel have to be so painfully slow? Why couldn't he just spit out the insults?

"Now I understand why you've been so silent these past few days. Plinkinenkak has been blackmailing you," Josel said. "You should have told me. We could have solved the problem together and you wouldn't have had to risk yourself by releasing that fricking dwarf."

Zdain raised his head, but still didn't look at Josel. When he spoke, his voice threatened to crack with every syllable. "How could I tell you? That's why I helped the dwarf, so she wouldn't tell you about me."

Josel grunted vaguely. "So it's true? Everything Plink said? That you had an affair with her brother?"

Zdain felt his eyes fill with tears. "Yes," he replied weakly.

He wanted to bury himself in bed, to sink out of sight. But stupid Josel just lingered on the bed, teasingly asking all sorts of questions. Well, he would certainly leave now that Zdain had confirmation that he was indeed disgusting and flawed.

"Okay," Josel said pensively.

That was enough. Zdain could take no more. He finally met Josel's gaze and shouted right in his face: "Damn it, Sandkan, just say that you hate me and then leave me alone!"

Josel looked stunned by Zdain's outburst, but did not get out of bed. On his side of the bed, Zdain curled up more tightly in the corner, pressing his head against his knees.

After a moment, Josel said: "I don't hate you."

Zdain perked up his ears. Had he heard right? He was silent for a moment, then whispered, his head still on his knees: "You don't?"

"No," Josel said. "Of course it was a big surprise to hear that and I probably would have yelled something stupid at you if I hadn't had to keep quiet in the cell corridor. I had time to think, and I realized I can't blame you for that."

Zdain let out a timid little sound. His heart was overwhelmed, even though Josel hadn't said anything out of the ordinary. But the boy had said the most important thing. That he didn't hate Zdain.

"Can we still be friends?" Zdain asked shyly after a while.

The question seemed to amuse Josel a little at first, but then he answered more gently: "Silly, who you're sleeping with has nothing to do with us. You are my friend, now and forever."

Zdain looked at Josel with wet eyes. "That's good, because I have no other friends," he replied quietly.

The words must have affected Josel, for he looked strange for a moment. "I didn't know," he said.

It was impossible to tell afterwards whether it was a joint decision, or whether one of them moved first. In any case, the boys shifted to the centre of the bed, hugging each other.

Tears ran down his cheeks again, but Zdain didn't care. The important thing was that Josel was there, as a friend. Zdain held him tightly and felt happier than he had in a long time.

* * *

They did not sleep again that night. Instead, they lounged on Zdain's bed with their feet pointed toward one another, talking about all sorts of things.

At one point Josel asked: "Tell me more about what Plink mentioned... her brother and you?"

Zdain hesitated for a moment, but then agreed. Josel deserved to hear it, even if it wasn't an easy topic. He began to tell him about Ade, about their love and how Dareis Monteilon had cruelly ended it.

"Your father... he's a bastard," Josel said after Zdain had finished.

"No argument there," Zdain agreed, feeling his throat tighten as he thought about it. So he suggested: "Let's talk about something else for a change."

"Okay," Josel said, immediately smirking as if he remembered something. "Plink asked if you'd slept with all the men here in the castle. You didn't answer."

Zdain snorted disapprovingly; he had expected something like this. Without really being angry, though, he replied: "What do you think?"

"How should I know? The dwarf complimented your ass..." Josel said with an innocent smile.

Zdain grunted and pulled himself up into a more seated position. "The answer is 'no'. Even though it's not really any of your business, I haven't been with anyone else but Ade."

"You were very thorough with him, from what I heard from Plink." Josel laughed out loud now, and Zdain couldn't help smiling.

"Get lost, Sandkan," he quipped and threw a pillow at Josel. It hit the boy right on the head, but he didn't seem to mind.

"At least tell me, does Ade have a big package?" Josel mumbled from under the pillow.

"I'm certainly not going to tell!" Zdain exclaimed, feeling his cheeks heat up.

"I can tell by your face that it is," Josel said, grinning stupidly again.

What an idiot, Zdain thought, feeling himself blush even more. With as little gesture as possible, he picked up the pillow and placed it in his lap. Josel raised his eyebrows knowingly, but thankfully said nothing.

Zdain hastily decided to change the subject. "Why don't you tell me for a change what you've done in bed? How many... how many girls have you been with?"

Josel smiled, but didn't seem embarrassed at all.

Where does he get his confidence from, Zdain wondered a little enviously, realising that he had never talked to anyone about anything like this before.

"A few, four... five. I don't know if that's a lot or a little for someone my age," the blond replied straightforwardly. This exaggerated bravado, however, caught Zdain's attention. As he tried to meet Josel's gaze, the boy turned his head to the side.

He is lying, he is not as experienced as he claims to be, Zdain realised. For some reason, this information felt good. "It must be very different... I mean, being with a girl."

Josel shrugged. "Hard to say, I've never been with a boy - not that I ever intend to," he added hastily.

"Why?" Zdain asked without thinking.

"Because I like girls," Josel declared, looking a little irritated.

They fell silent again for a while. Only girls? Zdain wanted to be sure, but he remained silent. Why couldn't he be content with the situation? Josel was the best friend he could ever have. Why demand more of him, something that was pointless to even dream of? Josel liked girls, and as far as Zdain knew, such things did not change. He stifled a sigh and stretched out his arms.

"Hey Zdain..." Josel began suddenly. "I got the impression from Plink's speech that you had something else to tell me. Another secret or something."

Zdain swallowed. He had already forgotten the whole matter. Not that secret! He wasn't ready to tell it. "I... I can't think what she could have meant. Typical bullshit from her," he said, and laughed so forcedly it made his own ears ache.

You could see by the look on his face that this was not enough of an answer for Josel. But this time he let it go and took the conversation elsewhere.

As the night wore on into the morning, Zdain laughed at Josel's jokes, told his own stories in return and pretended to be carefree with a smile on his face. All the while his stomach churned. He really couldn't admit to Josel that he loved him. The blond boy wouldn't take that knowledge as lightly. Zdain felt like a coward, just as Plinkinenkak had said.

* * *