Little Man - 2. Ogre's Awakening

It was nearly noon when my bleary eyes opened. The essence of sweat and sex filled the room. I rolled over and I already knew I was the only one here. The extra pillow was crushed and Ogre's scent was still faintly present on the sheets. The perfect night began to lose its luster. I knew this would happen. I shouldn't have let this happen. As soon as he kissed me, I wanted him so badly.

Ogre pushed a personal boundary last night and I had no idea what would be next. I wondered if it would be awkward when we saw each other? Would it affect his friendship with Eric? A man like Ogre was surrounded by others who may not appreciate my reality. I didn't want one night to ruin everything.

I took a deep breath and let it out. It was too early to judge what would come next. After another deep breath and exhale, I willed myself to move.

I pulled on a pair of shorts and surveyed my room. Empty beer cups were all over. Design markers were strewn across the floor. My clothes were on different pieces of furniture where they landed. A pair of red briefs with white trim had been left behind in the middle of the floor. I picked them up and admired the color. My memories of last night grew more vivid as I caught his unique scent off the worn garment. A film of dried sweat covered my skin. The hair on my chest and stomach was matted with a dry white crust.

I opened the door and found myself looking back at the bed. My covers and sheets were twisted off the mattress and I could still picture the writhing bodies that caused it. I always went after average size to smaller guys. It seemed safer. It helped me keep my thoughts off the jocks surrounding me. The first time I spent the night with a guy that towered over me and I found myself missing him already. God, I'm such a girl.

I found myself wishing that this had been an anonymous encounter. Some random guy I had just met would be infinitely easier to process. I've known Ogre for a few years now and I've always enjoyed his company. I've looked forward to it even. Our friendship was highly important to me. Could I pretend like nothing happened to preserve that? Would I really want to?

A soft sound came from behind me. A still naked Eric shuffled painfully down the hall into the bathroom. He didn't even turn on the light or close the door as he planted his head against the wall to support himself, leaning over the toilet to urinate. A ragged sigh escaped his throat as he relieved himself. Without a word, he reversed his path and headed back into his room.

“Why am I naked?” Eric asked in a confused voice. I actually started to smile.

On Monday afternoon and Eric and I were riding over to the gym. It's the standard routine, Eric and Ogre work out together and I get direction and spotting from Eric. My size doesn't allow me to work directly with them without slowing everything down. I had been thinking way too much and it would be nice to get things back to normal. I hadn't seen Ogre since the party Saturday and I was anxious. Would he be happy to see me? Would he be embarrassed?

“Have you heard from Ogre?” Eric's question broke my pondering. “I tried to call him, but he hasn't called me back.”

“No, but we always work out on Monday. What would be different?” I had an idea but I'd kept my mouth shut so far and I wasn't planning on changing that.

“We do. He just hasn't returned my call.” Eric pulled into the parking lot and stopped the engine.

“You always work out at the same time. I wouldn't worry about it.”

We grabbed our bags and entered the gym. It wasn't terribly busy at this time of day. I preferred it that way. I always hated waiting my turn when the gym was crowded. Even with the guys with me, I often felt conspicuous. I was never one hundred percent comfortable surrounded by straight people. A small part of me was always wondering if people saw me differently than the rest of the men here.

Inside the locker room we chose our lockers and started to change into our workout gear when Ogre came out of the showers dripping wet, wearing a towel. I tried not to stare.

“What? You already work out?” Eric called out. His hands were upturned in a What the fuck? kind of gesture.

“Yeah. Something came up. I didn't get a chance to call. Sorry, man.” I couldn't tell if Eric was convinced. I wasn't.

Eric and Ogre made small talk. I watched Ogre out of the corner of my eye as he dried himself and my mind tried to drift to Saturday night. I had to shake my head to break the thought and curtail the erection I could feel starting. Ogre wasn't looking at me or acknowledging my presence. I noticed the barest hints of the dragon drawing still on his skin. The areas along his neck, chest and side were flushed and reddened. Then the realization hit me hard. He'd been trying to scrub it off in the shower.

Now I felt like shit.

I finished dressing quickly since I wasn't part of the conversation and wanted out of the locker room.

“I'm going to go warm up. See you inside. Later, Ogre.” I tried to look nonchalant as I went back into the weight room. He barely waved to me as I passed. I felt awkward and embarrassed. Could I be any more stupid? One drunken night and a friendship bites the dust. Nothing good ever came out of my sexual adventures. Even as few as they were.

I was stretching with a light dumbbell when Eric joined me in the gym.

“Looks like it just you and me today, Little Man.”

“Anything wrong?” I don't know why I asked. I already knew the answer. I had challenged the masculinity of a football player and he was overcompensating. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I couldn't tell if I was sad or angry.

“Nah. He'll be cool. You think you can spot me today?”

“Yah. I'm good.” It was the least I could do.

I struggled to keep up but I got the job done. Eric was accustomed to lifting heavy weights and I was barely strong enough to spot him safely, but I managed. It was my fault he was lacking a proper workout partner. In between each of his sets Eric helped me with my workout. When he directed me to my next exercise, I grabbed heavier weights than he told me to each time. I never perspired or panted this hard. The workout was punishing. Eric directed me to the bench pulling a heavy dumbbell to work my back. I grabbed a weight ten pounds above the one he pointed at.

“Little Man, I'm the last one to discourage a good workout, but you're pushing awfully hard,” Eric quietly mentioned. “You don't have to prove anything to me.”

“I'm fine,” I answered as I launched myself into the one armed rows. On the first repetition, I felt the sharp pain in my back just above the shoulder blade. I gasped and dropped the dumbbell to the floor. I couldn't hide the wince.

“Try to stretch it out,” Eric instructed. “All right, we're done. You've pushed hard enough for one day.” After returning the dumbbells, his large hand was on the back of my neck directing my return into the locker room. “I don't know what you're punishing yourself over, but stop already.”

With his words I walked along offering no resistance. He was right as usual. The pain in my shoulder was throbbing as I padded along to my locker. A strange numbness seeped into me as we stripped down, showered and changed back before going home. It felt really strange that Ogre wasn't with us. Nothing felt right. Damn.

I was barely aware we were in Eric's car riding back to the house when his unexpected question broke my quiet recrimination.

“What's going on between you and Ogre?”

“Nothing,” I stammered. Eric was nothing if not keenly observant.

“You guys could barely look at each other. What happened?” An anxious rush came over me. Part of me wanted to spill my story, but something made me want to protect Ogre. He was hiding and ashamed.

“It's not worth talking about.”

“Spill it, Little Man.” Eric's tone let me know he wasn't about to let this go without an explanation.

“Fine. Ogre found out I'm gay. He caught me kissing someone at the party. He left without saying a word.”

“Who was it?” Eric was almost excited.

“Does it really matter? Ogre can't even look at me now.” Eric knew me far too well not to tell at least a partial truth. I could only manage the quickly edited version of the story.

“Give him a chance. You just surprised him. He'll come around.” Eric paused. “Are you going to see the guy you hooked up with again?”

“Ogre's flipping out and all you care about is whether I'm going to hook up with the mystery man again?”

“Call me single-minded. Are you going to see him again?”

“There's no way of knowing,” I answered. The whole time I had been trying to rub out the center of my injured shoulder.

Before long Eric pulled along the street in front of the house, letting me out.

“I need to hit the library for a few hours for a research project. I'll be back tonight. Keep stretching that shoulder.”

“Yes, Mother,” I said as I closed the door and watched his car pull away. The walk up the path seemed unnaturally long and I could still feel the center of the throbbing knot in my shoulder. I was at the front door with the key in the lock when I heard a truck door open and the sound of his voice.

“Little Man?” I turned around because I didn't know what else to do. Ogre was standing halfway up the walk. I could see his weight shifting back and forth between his feet like he was so uncomfortable he couldn't stand still. I could feel the tension from here. His clothes were oddly rumpled and I wondered if he'd been sitting in his truck for a while now.

“Ogre, how long have you been parked around the corner?”

“A little while.” He jammed his hands into his pockets and he wouldn't look directly at me. “I wanted to talk to you. Is Eric going to be gone for long?”

“A few hours.”

“Can I come in?” He cleared his throat and anxiously looked all around. Ogre had never so much as knocked on the door before entering our house. Now he was asking my permission as if he was unwelcome.

“Yeah. Come on.” The door opened and I hadn't taken my gaze off the uneasy giant. Ogre quickly followed me in, looking around nervously. I closed the door behind him. He stood in my living room with a tight jaw, grinding his teeth, looking like a coiled spring waiting to pop.

“Ogre, for God's sake, sit down. You're making me nervous.” He sat quickly, seeming to dwarf the couch while still avoiding my gaze. Ogre took a deep breath, steeling himself to spill his thoughts out loud. The pause was excruciating.

“Have you told anyone?” The question was far more timid and fearful than I'd expected.

“Of course not.”

“Not even Eric?”

“No. But Eric cornered me in the car on the way home. He could tell something was up. I told him you caught me kissing some guy at the party and left.”

“Why did you tell him that?”

“Because he could tell something was wrong and I'm not good at lying to him. Eric knows me too well. That's all I said. I didn't say who.”

“Ok.” A long pause followed before I broke the quiet.

“I wish you had been here when I woke up.” My voice was hesitant.

“I was afraid Eric would find us. I guess I panicked. I can't believe I did that with you.”

“Was it that awful?” I asked trying to hide my growing insecurities. The last thing I wanted to hear on top of everything was that I was a lousy lay.

“No! Of course not! I'm ... I'm just a little confused by it all, Little Man.”

“I didn't plan it, but I really had a good time, Ogre. I'm not sorry it happened.” I dropped my gym bag to the floor and walked into the kitchen. If I was going to have this conversation, it would be with liquor. Ogre followed me. “I just hope you'll be able to look me in the eye again someday.”

“What?” Ogre asked incredulously.

“Ogre, you avoided me today and blew me off like the embarrassing drunk chick at a party. Why do you think Eric questioned me? He has a gift for spotting things out of the ordinary and he didn't need it this time because it was so obvious.” I stopped for a moment to collect my growing anxiety. “God, I need a drink to do this.” I searched the cabinets to find where Eric had hid my tequila from the party guests.

“I'm sorry. That wasn't fair,” he replied as I found my target on the top shelf. Jose Cuervo was my friend. I stretched out onto my toes to reach out and say hello to him.

“OW! FUCK ME!” The spasm in my shoulder hit me suddenly and I dropped the bottle. I was gasping and holding my breath in bursts as I fell forward onto the counter. My fingers dug into the formica as I tried to steady myself. Ogre was on me in a second.

“What's wrong?” All the bullshit from earlier was suddenly unimportant. I needed help and he was there.

“I pulled a muscle in my back today doing one arm rows,” I managed to gasp out between surges of pain. “I probably shouldn't have been spotting Eric. I really overdid it.” I clenched my eyes tight to keep tears from forming.

“Why were you spotting Eric?”

“Because his partner bailed,” I hissed through the spasm. It sounded far more vicious than intended, but I couldn't get a grip on the pain. It hurt so bad I couldn't move, even as Ogre carefully picked me up I cried out. Gingerly, he laid me face down on the couch back in the living room. His strong hands immediately found the knot in my back and started kneading it it out.

“I deserved that. I'm not sure how to handle the other night.”

“You tried really hard to scrub off my drawing. Did that work?”

“People started noticing at the gym. A few people asked about it.” His hands stopped moving and I could picture him closing his eyes to admit the next sentences. “I didn't know who had been at the party and I was worried someone might figure it out. The drawing went almost down to my crotch. If someone knew you had drawn it, I couldn't explain that away. Then I couldn't face you after I'd done it.”

“Ok. I get that.” He sighed and the massage resumed.

“Little Man, I've never been with another guy before.”

“I know,” I replied back as the massage started to have the desired effect. Football players were no strangers to sport injuries. Ogre's touch was very welcome right now even through the fabric of my shirt.

“Have you?”

“Ogre, I'm gay. I learned that a long time ago.” There. I said it out loud. Ogre paused.

“When did Eric find out?”

“Back in high school. He was the first person I told. But he had already figured it out.”

“I don't think I'm gay.”

“I know,” I replied quietly. That was the sentence I didn't want to hear.

My voice was calmer. The spasm had quieted and I was feeling better; the physical contact was generating a sense of peace in me in spite of his announcement. Ogre paused and inhaled a large volume of air and held it.

“But I'm not feeling exactly straight at the moment. I don't know, but I'm not ready to walk away from you.” His declaration was focused and rehearsed. “I haven't stopped thinking about Saturday night. I don't want to pretend it didn't happen. When I'm with you everything's different. You make me want to explore myself more.” I rolled over onto my side towards Ogre to find him searching into the blue of my eyes.

“I don't know what happens next, but I need to know more.” That admission was probably the most difficult words for him to utter in his life. Weakness was not a natural state for this man. I'm not sure how long I stared into him absorbing his comments. I felt myself melting.

“Shit. This isn't coming out right.” His eyes shifted away from me in embarrassment.

My free hand reached for his face and he closed his eyes and nuzzled my palm. Rolling forward, I wet his lips with my own. I wanted to acknowledge him and give my approval. He finally let out the rest of his breath and I could feel his smile as we parted.

“I was afraid I took advantage of you since we'd been drinking and you'd hate me for it.” Ogre sighed with a relieved breath. He started to laugh.

“Well, you did kiss me first,” I could feel the teasing grin on my face.

Ogre lightly rested his forehead on my own and a warm rush traveled through me. It was gentle and comforting. His glowing smile relaxed as he spoke in a hesitant tone.

“Can I ask a question? Whatever's happening here, can we keep it to ourselves? I don't know what to call it, but I'm not ready to share it either.”

“We don't have to go into any detail at this point.” I stroked the tight cut of his hair, relishing the silkiness I hadn't had the chance to notice the other night.

“Not even with Eric.”

“All right.” That would be hard. Keeping secrets from Eric didn't sound right, but I just couldn't deny Ogre at this point. “I promise.”

The moment was broken as Ogre's cell phone came to life. He grudgingly answered it.

“Hey, Eric. . . I'm good. . . Yeah. . . I know about Little Man. . . He surprised me alright. . . No. It's was just a weird day and I just handled it badly. . . I'll find a way to make it up to him.” Ogre smiled slyly in my direction. “Tomorrow?. . . Yeah, I'm all for a Monty Python night. . . Wouldn't miss it. Cool. See you then.”

Ogre hung up and slipped next to me on the couch. His scent gently caressed me. I sat upright and curled myself against his frame and snuggled into his warmth. I pressed my face into his chest and silently thanked my luck for whatever fortune had brought the unfamiliar presence of such a magnificent warm body to me. Even if it was short-lived.

Now my cell phone was ringing. I looked at the screen. It was Eric. Was this house bugged?

“Hey, Eric. What's up?” I shrugged at Ogre and he stifled a laugh.

“Hey, Little Man. I probably won't be coming home tonight. I ran into Tracy at the library. Don't wait up.” He sounded excited.

“Oh yeah, I remember her. Wear two condoms.”

“Shut up, man!” He probably thought I was kidding. I wasn't. “I'll see you tomorrow. Ogre's coming over for Monty Python night. Later.”

“Sounds good. Have fun.” Eric hung up. He was such a dog.

Suddenly the evening had a whole new tone. I don't think I could have planned this better.

“It looks like we have the place to ourselves tonight,” I told Ogre. His return grin was infectious.

“He's not coming home?”

“Doesn't look like it.” His grin grew brighter still.

Here was that moment. A pause in the evening as we tried to decide how to use this opportunity. I knew I had to tread carefully, but there was so much I wanted to know.

“Did you really not know about me?” I asked.

“I don't know. You never seemed to date anyone, so I guess I wondered. I never asked Eric because I thought he'd get pissed. We all hung out and everything was cool, so it wasn't a big issue.”

“You weren't curious?”

“I don't know. Maybe. I'm not sure. It's all a lot to figure out.” Ogre seemed uncomfortable right at that point. In all fairness, it was understandable. The gravity of his new outlook was powerful and Ogre was still coming to terms with feelings he never knew existed. I hoped he could.

“I'm sorry, Ogre. I'm pushing. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to.” With that Ogre purposefully crawled over my seated body. His presence was making me weak.

“I'm not,” he replied as he slid his mouth onto mine. Half on and half off the couch, his kiss made my thoughts roll back to Saturday night. I moaned into him. He tasted magnificent. We wrapped our arms around each other and lost ourselves in the moment.

It sounds so cliché to say a kiss seemed to last forever. I just didn't want it to stop. This perfect juncture needed to be stretched endlessly. It wasn't the desperate need of Saturday night. That had been an alignment of stars and planets in an unpredictable event. Now was a confirmation of something more than just a drunken evening.

Ogre's dense form was arousing me uncontrollably. I was painfully erect in my jeans. There was no way he couldn't feel it, he was pressed so firmly on top of me. He pulled back from me, his chest heaving.

Ogre's hands paused and gripped my body, sampling my flesh as they traveled down my torso. He reached my waist and slowly unbuttoned my jeans and stripped me from my waist down. Seconds later, he stood and peeled back his own pants and briefs, leaving us matching wearing only tee shirts. The sight of a pantsless man had always aroused me and now the reality was throwing my enthusiasm into overdrive. He kneeled between my heated legs pressing our rigid cocks together. Ogre handled our mutual erections like a kid with a new toy.

“Little man, where does a guy your size get a cock like this? It's as big as mine.” I didn't have to answer. I knew it wasn't a real question. I was fortunate to sport a nice piece of equipment in spite of its minimal usage. Not everything on me was in proportion to my height. Ogre was fondling me like a favorite possession. His eyes looked mildly glazed over, his lust shedding his inhibitions.

“I never would have imagined doing this. If it wasn't you, I wouldn't even want to.” His throaty whisper sent a rush down my spine. Ogre pulled back, leaned over and swallowed my cock.

“Holy shit. . . ” I moaned in shock and disbelief. This was beyond anything I ever could have expected. Two days ago Ogre would have never considered kissing a man and now he was blowing me like a seasoned pro. He had obviously paid attention to every incident of oral sex he ever received over the years. Ogre grunted as he devoured my flesh. He kept trying to reach the base of my cock, choking and persisting. Pulling off for a breath, a smiling Ogre dove back down proving he was enjoying his work. It was obviously all for my benefit. I was convinced everything that was happening here was to apologize for earlier. It was working. I could barely control myself as he wrapped his weighty arms around my thighs, palming my ass as he buried his nose deep into my trimmed pubic hair. I wasn't going to last much longer. The wet heat was more than I could handle.

“Ogre, . . . I'm going to come. . . Oh god. . . ” The next sound I heard was my roar from the orgasm that rolled my eyes into my head. My back arched as my rigid cock force fed my seed into Ogre's greedy mouth. As the spasms subsided I looked Ogre directly in the eyes. His lust was on auto-pilot.

Ogre stood in front of me. His cock stood out unwaveringly with a thick string of fluid wetting down its entire length. Without hesitation I slid forward and took my turn pleasuring him. His hands came to the sides of my head and his hips snapped forward, plunging his cock into my mouth. He took me and I submitted. My priority was to be his vehicle to orgasm. The column of flesh in my mouth swelled as Ogre's breath lost its rhythm. He bellowed like a beast as his cock surged like a burst artery down my throat. Long seconds later, the tremors subsided and he pulled out and kneeled back in front of me. My cum was still on his quivering lips as he tasted his own off of mine.

Our bodies calmed down and our kiss gentled. This was going to be the beginning of an amazing night. I couldn't stop smiling. Neither could he.

“Ogre. This is going to sound really bad under the circumstances. I need to ask you something.”

“What?”

“Um, . . . I know we've known each other for a long time, but, . . . What's your real name?” I was smiling but suddenly feeling embarrassed. I just shared this incredibly intimate moment and I didn't know his name. Ogre was Ogre. That's how he was introduced to me. That's how it's always been. I'd always taken it for granted. Somehow, we'd never gotten past the nickname. I guess it was a guy thing.

“Steve. Steve Adams.” He chuckled. “I have to be honest, Little Man. Uh, . . . I don't know your name either. You asking first makes this a little easier.” He was blushing and grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“Clay Moore. It's a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Adams.”

“The pleasure is mine, Mr. Moore.” We began laughing at each other.

Ogre climbed onto the couch and laid down pulling me on top of him. It was like climbing a mountain and finding God. Euphoric thoughts trickled through my mind. I kept it all to myself to keep from scaring him off. We kept kissing softly as our bare legs entwined and his arms gently surrounded me. Our eyes were inches apart.

“I could get used to this,” Ogre quietly confessed. I couldn't suppress my agreement. I could feel myself beaming.

“We have all night,” I replied relishing the sensation of this forbidden liaison. “Can I ask you another question?”

“Yeah. Go for it.”

“Don't take this the wrong way, but for someone with no experience, you did this very well. Did you just take notes during your dates or what?” The laugh he gave was more of a snort.

“I googled how to give head.” A penitent smile crept over Ogre face. “There were a ton of hits. I didn't want you to think I was lousy in bed and I wanted to be sure I was ready the next time we got together.”

I raised one eyebrow. “How did you know there would be a next time?”

“I didn't. I just hoped.”