Little Man - 6. House of Cards

My phone had been off the past week. I tired of ignoring his calls and reading his texts that said, “I'm sorry. I can explain.” in one form or another. I neglected his email messages. They sat in my mailbox unopened. I didn't want to speak to him. I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want to admit how perilously in love with Ogre I was and how his betrayal was killing me.

I spent my time on automatic. I woke up, got dressed and went to class. I sat in my courses, took my notes, participated minimally and generally tried not to be noticed.

My art classes were uninspired. I couldn't find the mindset that would throw me into my work and create something beautiful. I kept waiting for magic to happen. It didn't. All I could manage were poor, shallow compositions. My appetite was virtually nonexistent. Hunger rarely came to me and I ate only when necessary. Everything was bland and uninteresting. I wasn't even going to the gym. I didn't want Ogre to show up. I was avoiding being at home. I wandered around campus a lot without direction. I didn't want to face Eric. I didn't want to be anywhere someone knew me.

I hadn't even explained things to Eric. He held me until I cried myself to sleep that morning and I've barely spoken to him since. My I-pod drowned out his attempt at words. When he asked me questions I turned up the volume. I couldn't face him when no other distraction was available. The shame of it all kept my silence. I'm not sure where I would begin.

I found myself needing a lot of sleep, I was so constantly tired. When I was home I just wanted to lie down and turn off the world. Eric had been keeping a respectful distance. I could feel his rejection, his confusion struck me like a dirty blade, damaging and leaving its rusty infection behind. I didn't want anyone that close to me right then.

Sometimes I wasn't really even asleep. I just laid in my room half-conscious waiting for time to pass. Saturday night I heard Eric on the phone. I couldn't find an excuse to be gone on the weekend so I stayed in bed.

“Hey, Ogre. . . No, he's sleeping. . . He shut off his phone. . . I don't know. He's not talking to me either. . .” My pulse began to race at the sound of Ogre's name.

“I think it's about a guy he started seeing after the party. . . I think it all went south. It must have been really bad. He was out early last Friday morning and came back and had a complete meltdown. . .” I buried my face in the pillow to keep from crying as the memory came back to haunt me.

“I don't think I've ever seen him this hung up on someone. . . Seriously. . . Sometimes I wish he could just fuck and run, but he's not like that. . . I wish I knew what was going on. . . No, he hasn't said one word to me. . . No, don't come over. I don't think he wants any company right now.”

I breathed out in a shaky semblance of relief. If Ogre was on his way I would have bolted out the front door. There was no way I could bear to face him.

“This is what he does, man. When he's hurt or upset, he just goes to bed. When he's ready he'll let us know. . . Thanks, Ogre. Don't sound so down, he'll come around. I'll talk to you later.”

I hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but it'd been so quiet in the house lately that every sound seemed enormous. I wasn't sure how to absorb this. Ogre was pressing Eric for information on me. He wanted to see me and know how I was doing. I couldn't even fault Eric for filling him in. Under different circumstances, it would be perfectly normal for the three of us to share every detail of our lives.

I just didn't know what the next step should be. Do I say nothing and just move on keeping Eric in the dark and pretending my friendship with Ogre was as solid as ever? Could I bear his presence in our lives as integrated as it was? Or could I betray Ogre's trust and tell everything? I felt he deserved it. Then I replayed every word of his phone call with Eric and everything seemed so small.

Perhaps it was unfair of me to expect so much from him. His self-identity must have been confused and tenuous. The whole affair was sudden and powerful. Could I really expect him to change his whole set of preferences overnight? Could I really ask him to shout it from the rooftops? What would he say? Until that morning, everything was looking perfect. If I'd never gone to his apartment unannounced we would still be learning this new facet of ourselves. It was frightening how fragile our house of cards was.

One gust of wind and it was all gone.

I was losing track of time. The days were merging together. I knew I would have to come back to the tangible world soon enough. There was a numbness following it all and I needed to create some kind of reality.

Monday morning I dragged my worthless carcass out of bed still wearing the unwashed clothes I'd been in all week. I carefully opened the door to Eric's room and entered. I slipped into his bed and wrapped my arms around him.

“Hey, Little Man,” he whispered. Eric rolled over and drew me to his chest. It was the most comforted I'd been in days.

“Hey.” My reply was tiny and apologetic.

“It's good to have you back.” Eric squeezed me gently in his familiar arms.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. You never have to apologize to me.” Eric softly kissed my forehead. “Do you want to tell me what's going on?”

I shook my head. “No. It's too embarrassing and I don't want to cry anymore.”

“You never have to feel ashamed around me for anything.”

I simply nodded my head in assent and pressed in deeper.

“You can't stay in bed forever,” he said.

I sighed. “I know. That's why I'm here. Baby steps.”

“If you ever want to talk. . .”

“It can't make anything better,” I interrupted, “I'm actually better off scrubbing my hands clean of the whole thing. It was stupid of me to think this would turn out well.”

“You're a better man than he is.”

“It doesn't feel like that right now. But it will.” I pulled him tighter. “It will.” At that moment I had resigned myself to secrecy. I felt that exposing my dalliance with Ogre could only undermine the relationship we all shared. I would make a grand sacrifice for Eric's sake. I couldn't bear the guilt of removing a close friend from his life. If I spoke of it, Eric would never forgive Ogre, that much I could be sure of. Ogre would keep the peace. He wouldn't want to be exposed. Eventually, it would all be back to normal.

“Good. Now speaking of scrubbing your hands clean - get up. You stink.” Eric laughed at me.

Eric pulled me up and led me out of the bedroom, his hand placed paternally between my neck and shoulder. He led me to the bathroom.

“Strip,” he ordered.

He turned on the water as I obediently peeled the grungy garments from my dirty skin. I stood naked in the bathroom and saw my reflection. I looked like shit. My hair was matted and my eyes were sunken and dark. Eric placed his hand on my shoulder again and directed me into the shower, closing the door behind me.

“Get clean. I'll have breakfast ready by the time you're done,” he said. The bathroom door closed and a tiny smile crept over me as I began the lather. It would be all right.

My world seemed a little clearer after I finished my classes. I actually participated and had a few idle conversations with other students and I found myself a little more like the person I remembered myself to be. I hadn't recovered, but I could see myself coming back.

After I went home I cleaned around the house and took care of things I neglected. I finally picked up all of my belongings I had knocked off my dresser. Once my room was in order, my world was beginning to appear like itself again. It was just an appearance, but that was okay. Baby steps, I told myself.

I needed some exercise. That would likely help screw my head back on. However, I didn't think I could face Ogre. Not yet. Not without Eric to provide a comfortable buffer. Since Eric was in class I decided to go for a swim. Ogre was never in the pool. I grabbed my gym bag and headed out.

The quick drive was uneventful and Ogre wasn't in the weight room as I passed through the building. Inside the locker room I stripped down and changed into my pair of dark green speedos. I was acutely aware of the men dressing and undressing as I kept a look out for Ogre to arrive. I garbed myself quickly. Swimming would place me in another section of the gym and I could avoid the weight room entirely. The pool entrance was through the locker room showers placing it on the opposite side of the facility. An hour of swimming laps would help clear my head. I needed to ground myself.

I walked through the open shower room ignoring the few attractive men who happened to be showering as I passed. I climbed under one of the open nozzles and wet myself down. I walked into the pool room and listened to the echoing of other swimmers in motion.

The pool was near Olympic size. Swimmers practiced a variety of strokes as they passed from one end to the other. The lanes were mostly full. I scanned for a lane and at the middle waited for the incumbent swimmer to finish the lap so I could signal him to share. As I waited for him to come back this way, a swimmer in the lane next to me pulled himself from the pool. He had massive muscular flanks and thick strong legs clad in a red speedo with a strong contrasting white stripe on the side. I was aroused from the corner of my eye.

“Little Man?” said the man in the red speedo. It was Ogre.

“You've got to be fucking kidding me.” The words came out of me in an exasperated breath. His visage was sad. His body seemed weak, his natural energy was muted. There were circles under his eyes. This week had obviously unsettled him as well. I wondered how he had been sleeping.

“How are you?” he asked. It was a stupid question. He just didn't know what to say.

“What are you doing here? You never come in here,” I replied.

“I came in here because I didn't think you wanted to run into me,” he whispered. His voice seemed small. I felt flushed and uncomfortable suddenly. Ogre immediately began fidgeting and wouldn't stand still. His eyes sketched to every corner of the vast room. He hadn't planned this. It looked like Ogre had attempted the same thing I had. I wondered if he simply wanted to get back to normal and create some distance.

I wanted distance too. The sight of him was leaving me conflicted. I wanted him. I wanted to beat him with a baseball bat. The colossal room felt claustrophobic and the floor felt uneasy. I couldn't stay. I could feel the swell of pressure in my chest and face. If I stayed, I risked breaking into tears. Without a word, I turned and headed back towards the locker room. Ogre grabbed me by the arm.

“Clay, wait. Please,” he pleaded. A surge of resentment washed over me as my eyes flashed to the hand on my arm. I wanted to leave.

“Let go of me, Ogre, or I'll shout out to everyone how we know each other.” His blocking my escape was inciting my wounded wrath. “Go fuck your whore.” The venomous whisper was unnaturally harsh. His face nearly collapsed in sad shock as he released me. It was a cheap shot.

I didn't look over my shoulder as I left him behind at the pool. I changed back into my street clothes and left the recreation center. Ogre didn't follow me out.

I was relieved to find Eric at home when I got back. The sight of him defused my craziness and made the world a calm place again. It was very sobering.

“You want to get something to eat?” I asked. I really didn't want to be alone.

“I can't, Little Man. I have to spend the evening with my study group. We have a presentation on Wednesday and have to finish sorting it out. I may be a while. I think my professor put me in this group because they're all a bunch of fuck-ups.” Eric was clearly annoyed. He was racing around the house collecting his books and resources and stuffing them harshly into his backpack. I was disappointed, but tried to not let it show.

“That's all right. We can do something fun later.” I threw my bag into my room. “I'd tell you to have a good time tonight, but I think that's already been decided.” Eric gave me a dirty look as I teased him.

“I'm sorry. We'll do something tomorrow. I promise.” Eric frowned slightly as he headed for the door. He was genuinely unhappy.

“It's fine. Take care of business. I'm good. Go.” I walked up behind him and playfully pushed him out the door.

I watched Eric's car pull away and I sat back wondering how I would spend my evening. I was feeling mildly melancholy. Eric's situation had made me forget about my encounter with Ogre, but now I was starting to think back. I dug through my DVD collection looking for something distracting that could burn a few hours. Episodes of “Venture Brothers Season 4” seemed like just the ticket.

I turned on the television and the DVD player when I heard a knock at the door. I set the disc down and opened the door. My chest tightened instantly.

Ogre stood on my porch looking even more unsettled than at the pool. His normally well groomed appearance was haggard, his clothing wrinkled and unkempt. I couldn't help but notice the subtle twitch that ran his body as he stood there. His eyes were downcast in some vain attempt to hide the redness in them.

“Can I come in?” he asked feebly.

“What for?”

“Please, Clay. I need to talk to you. Don't make me beg.” He sniffed and stifled a tear. I sat there for a minute contemplating my next move. He looked so fragile. The strongest urge to slam the door shut rushed across me.

“Get in here.”

I stepped backwards and he followed me inside. I closed the door and wished the movie was in the player to alleviate the eerie quiet. Ogre's weight shifted from side to side and he kept fidgeting with his hands.

“I waited for Eric to go so I could talk to you alone.”

“Why are you here?” I wrapped my arms around myself.

“I need to explain. You wouldn't return my calls or texts or anything. What was I supposed to do?”

“Take a hint?”

“Clay, please.” He stepped closer with outstretched hands and I immediately stepped back. His hands dropped back to his sides.

“I don't own you, Ogre. We'd only been fooling around what, two weeks? You're a big boy, you can do what you want.”

“Why didn't you tell Eric?”

I sighed. “He still needs you as his friend and I don't think I could handle the humiliation.”

“I don't expect you to forgive me, but can I explain what happened?” Ogre rubbed his hand along the back of his head as his eyes were wide.

I felt my forehead scrunch as my annoyance level shot through the roof. “You fucked some girl barely twenty four hours after having sex with me in an amazing, spectacular way and cheapened it into some drunken bar slut hookup. What's to explain?”

“I didn't want to!” he shouted. Tears overflowed his eyes as a pitiful gasp for air escaped him.

“What?” I was clearly annoyed and confused.

Ogre's voice was growing frantic and upset, his verbal pace was quickening. “Heidi is just a friend who comes over every once in a while and we hook up. She doesn't want to complicate her school with a boyfriend so every so often we get together. My roommate knows all about it. It's not a secret.”

“After that night at the gym I came home and Paul had let her into my bedroom. She was waiting for me. I didn't know how to say no.” The hand rubbing his head had begun digging into his skull. “I didn't have an explanation ready for why I had to turn her down. Paul didn't know what was going on. He didn't know I was seeing anyone. He's on the football team too. If I said no he'd ask questions. I panicked when I thought he'd tell everyone and it would get out. I figured I could just get through it and I'd find a way to end it afterwards. It was such a shitty move.” I sat back stunned as he told me the details of his liaison before he buried his face in both hands.

“Then you showed up. Oh God, I should have found a way to say no. You deserved so much better than that.” Ogre took a deep breath to try to contain the quaking sobs struggling to get out. “After you left, I went back into my room and told Heidi all about you.”

“You did what?” I was having a hard time believing what I was hearing.

“I had to. She wouldn't stop asking questions until I'd told her everything. It all came spilling out. She was pissed, but didn't freak on me. Probably because I couldn't stop crying.” He laughed at himself sadly. “I think I needed to confess myself to someone. I told her how I'd just ruined the best thing I'd ever found in the world. She told me I had to find a way to fix it.”

“Do you think that's even possible?”

“God, I hope so. I. . . I have been doing things I've never done before because of you and loved every minute of it.” His eyes were wet and his words were halting as he struggled to find their courage. “I can't get you out of my head. Every time I'm with you, I'm already planning the next time we can be together. I may have fucked up, but Heidi made me admit something to myself.” This large man, normally larger than life and confident, trembled before me, vulnerable and shattered. He shook as he spoke the next sentence.

“I am so much in love with you and it's killing me.”

I was speechless. I inhaled sharply but found it difficult to exhale. I wanted to run forward and leap into his arms. I wanted to lay endless kisses on him and tell him I loved him back. Then I remembered how I felt after the party when he ignored me and the heart crushing despair I felt when I found him with her.

“How do I know you're not just saying that to save yourself?” I couldn't control the accusatory tone in my words. “How do I know you won't go back to her?”

“I can only think of one way to make you believe me.” Ogre picked up his phone and dialed. I could hear the ringing through the speaker.

“Heidi?” he answered. I was shocked. He was calling her in front of me! “It's Ogre. . . yeah I'm a little messy right now. I'm here at Clay's. . . No, not yet. I was hoping you could help. . . Could you? . . . Thanks. . . Just a second.” Ogre handed the phone to me. “She wants to talk to you.”

I was feeling out of sorts. She wanted to talk to me? This was unheard of. I shot Ogre a dirty look.

“You must be joking.”

“Please. . .” His lip began to tremble and I found myself hesitantly reaching for the phone.

“Hello?” I tried desperately to calm my voice as I spoke into the phone.

“Clay? This is Heidi.” Her voice was soft and serious. “I know you probably don't want to talk to me of all people, but if you'll let me I'd like to say a few things. I'm really sorry about the other day. You have no idea how sorry. If I had any idea, it never would have happened. I'm still a little pissed he broke our first rule.”

“What rule is that?”

“The rule about no getting together if we're involved with someone. Even still, I understand why he didn't say anything beforehand. I'm not happy about it, but I understand. I put him into a really unfair position. He never knew I was coming. It was a game I wouldn't have played if I'd known about you. When you left he fell apart and when I started asking questions, he started confessing everything.”

“What's your point?” I walked with the phone into the kitchen to separate Ogre from the conversation.

“I think he really needed to tell someone. The guilt was killing him.”

I listened quietly as Heidi continued. I resisted the urge to hang up and walk away from the whole situation. I needed to know.

“I've never seen Steve want to keep someone he was involved with so badly. Not even me. I'm kind of jealous, actually. He picks his real friends very carefully, because everyone wants a piece of him. People throw themselves at him all the time. I've never known him to chase anyone. He never had to. You must be pretty amazing. It definitely explains a few things.”

“Like what?”

“Not to go into any detail, but Steve seemed. . . distracted. Not like his old self at all.”

“Oh.” I sighed restlessly. “I'm not sure what you expect me to do.”

“If you have any chance of forgiving him, do it. If you can't, cut him loose and move on. It took an incredible amount of courage for him to actually admit to someone that he loves another man. He took an awful risk in telling me under the circumstances. Ogre had no idea how I'd react. He needs you and I think you need him too. Otherwise, I think you'd have hung up on me from the start.”

I gripped the phone tighter. “Can he be trusted?”

“Only you can decide that for sure. I'm just his friend. In spite of all of this, I trust him.”

“Thank you, Heidi. Thank you for being someone he could confide in.” With a few final pleasantries I walked back into the living room and hung up, handing the phone back to him. Ogre's eyes were bloodshot, his face flushed with a runny nose and his lips trembled as he awaited my response.

“I can't believe you did that.” My voice was soft and I could felt my eyes moistening as I stared at him. I was trying to keep my expression contained but it was so difficult. Ogre's shoulders sunk as he looked away from me. His whole body seemed to be struggling to hold its own weight. Streaks of moisture ran down his cheeks down to his neckline soaking the fabric of his shirt.

My mind was awash in conflict. The man in front of me made me flush with desire and scream with betrayal. I wanted him and wanted to hurt him in the same breath. My mind screamed at me to tell him to walk out the front door and never come back in a desperate attempt to protect my sanity. The inner voice with all its strength was logical and correct. That was exactly what I knew I should do.

I walked closer to him, turned his face to mine, stood on my toes and placed a kiss on his lips.

For a moment, he stared unbelieving into my eyes. I brushed his lips with mine again and he returned desperately in kind. Ogre pulled me in tightly crying through his kisses as a weight lifted from us both. I was still angry and hurt, but I couldn't continue. I stuffed the inner voice into a deep corner and quieted it. I needed this man so badly; I was willing to work through this. I had to. My eyes overflowed as he sobbed into me with a great relief.

“Thank you,” the penitent man kept repeating over and over softly. He smothered me with kisses. I couldn't help but return his fervor. Slowly, he broke away.

With my face in his hands, his eyes bore into mine. “Nothing like this will ever happen again.”

I stayed silent. The inner voice was trying to whisper into my ear again and I was keeping it at bay.

“Clay, I need to show you how serious I am.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I need to show you how much you mean to me. This is the only thing I can think of that spells it out.” He took my hand and led me to the bedroom. I had to admit, I wasn't impressed that he wanted to have sex to show me how much he cared, but my own need was smothering my thoughts.

He laid a smoldering kiss on me before he undressed himself and lay on my bed. Ogre then rolled onto his stomach and stared with a frightening intensity into my eyes over his shoulder.

“I want you to fuck me,” he said.

Now I understood. Ogre was going to give me the one thing he had forbidden as a show of faith. He was giving me his virginity as a present to affirm his intentions. There was only one problem. Ogre didn't really want to be a bottom.

It made complete sense to me. He wanted to be punished. He wanted it to hurt and give me the opportunity to get back at him and make things even between us. Ogre was intent on balancing the scales so we could move on and I was sorely tempted. Part of me wanted to brutally punch fuck him until he screamed for mercy, knowing full well that he simply wouldn't. I could abuse him and take out all my frustration over the last week and he would simply let me. If that was what it took to get me to keep him, he would. Ogre would allow me to leave him bruised and bloody if that's what I wanted.

But that wasn't me. I enjoyed vigorous sex, but corporal punishment was beyond me. However, I wasn't going to let such an opportunity go to waste. I stripped my clothes off as he watched; the sight of my naked giant already had me aroused and hard.

“Spread your legs,” I commanded. When I roughly slapped his ass, he complied. I roughly kneaded the two large mounds of his ass enjoying the free ticket ride I had now been awarded. I ran my thumb over his exposed pucker and watched him cringe slightly with each pass. I teased him slowly for a minute and suddenly buried my face between his cheeks and devoured his opening.

Ogre's whole body froze in seizure, crying out in confused pleasure as I attacked his virginal territory. I knew what it felt like, as he had done the same to me, but I was determined to be even better. I wasn't planning on punishing him. I was planning on breaking his last boundary, mark my claim on him and make him enjoy every second of it.

I ate his ass for long minutes until his body relaxed and his moans became pure gibberish. I commanded him to roll over on his back and gripped the dripping erection that presented itself. I wet my palm with saliva and stroked his cock while I kneeled and placed his feet over my shoulders and resumed my buffet on his rectum.

Eventually I released his legs and they dropped around my hips. His organ was harder than I remembered and the precum was keeping him slick. Ogre was panting in nonsensical grunts and his eyes were glazed and needy. I climbed from between his legs as I retrieved the lube from my nightstand. I laid my body against him in the opposite direction he was laying in. He instinctively reached for my cock.

“Hands off,” I commanded. He complied. I poured lube over his cock and balls making sure the syrup ran down into the cleft of his ass. I reached around and started massaging the liquid into his assaulted hole. I heard an awkward grunt when the first finger went in. With my other hand I gripped his slick testes and I swallowed his cock to the base.

Ogre's back arched as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him. I attacked his member as fervently as I had his ass. Now I penetrated and pleasured him at the same time. The second finger went in smoother than I expected. He lifted his leg slightly to give me better access. Ogre's resistance was crumbling. I wanted to be sure that by the time I was done he would no longer identify himself as a straight man.

Ogre's other hand grabbed ahold of my left buttock. His ecstatic moans grew louder and he hugged me tighter while I worked to change his outlook on life. When the third finger went in I could feel him writhing and bearing down to force my hand deeper. He was ready.

I separated myself and spun around. I ordered Ogre to hold his legs up and I climbed between them. I positioned my cock head at his opening and looked him in the eye.

“Ready?” I asked. He wordlessly nodded, his head unable to utter coherent syllables. I slowly and carefully started to enter his channel. The moaning inhale that came out of him echoed the movement of his legs that pulled me in and forced himself all the way down in one stroke. I held my breath as the incredible sensation nearly overtook me. I needed Ogre to come first. I pressed my feet into the mattress and rolled Ogre's haunches into the air.

“Do it,” he hissed.

I saw no reason not to deny his request. I slowly slid my cock back until just the glans kept him open. I sat there a moment watching him anxiously waiting. I slowly pushed all the way forward and watched his eyes roll back into his head while listening to the passionate howl that released from his lungs.

I picked up speed and pumped him harder and harder. I grabbed his slick cock and stroked it in matching rhythm with the pounding of his ass. Ogre's whole body twisted and his head tossed back and forth. His chest heaved with each thrust, his nipples swollen. His skin was flushed and his hazy eyes were focused on nothing. I found his prostate inside his tight tunnel and attacked it mercilessly. That was it.

Ogre bellowed as his orgasm savagely flexed every muscle in his body. I aimed his cock as I stroked through the apex and watched him paint his chest and face in his own fluids. The spasms of his ass sent me over the top and I buried myself as deep as I could and unleashed a week's worth of untapped emotion inside him.

Once we calmed down I let Ogre lower his legs as I pulled my wet cock from his hole. I reached for his face and wiped streaks off and fed the remnants to him. Once I was finished I planted a soulful kiss upon his lips.

“You like that, baby?” I asked. He shook his head with flushed cheeks and grinned. “You said you loved me. Did you really mean it?”

“Of course I did.”

“Good. Listen to me.” I leaned in close to his ear and softly spoke through heavy breaths. I held his head in one hand holding him still. As I spoke I could feel his shudder. “You just took your lover's load up the ass. You are not a straight man anymore. You can call yourself bisexual or straight, if and only if, I let you go. You're mine now. And I'm yours. No one else ever comes between that. Are we clear?” I shifted back and turned his head as Ogre simply nodded with an open mouthed grin. While I had his undivided attention I reached up and painfully grabbed his ear.

“And if I ever hear about anything like this ever again,” I growled, “I mean I won't need to walk in on anything. A rumor will be enough. Outing you to all your friends and family will be the least of your problems.” The smile faded and Ogre's wide eyes never left mine as he softly nodded in agreement.

“Never happen again,” he whispered.

“I love you, Steve. But don't be surprised if I have moments where I don't completely trust you.” I pinched his ear again to make my point. “You need to earn it. You're not off the hook. You'd better get used to being on the bottom. Because until I'm convinced, you're gonna be my bitch for a while.” Internally, I gritted my teeth and steeled myself for the ultimatum. “If you can't do that, you need to leave now.”

I let go of his ear as Ogre bowed his head slightly and reached up and caressed my cheek.

“I'll do anything if it means I have a chance to get you back.” His eyes seemed to tremble and swell with tears. He sniffled hard and let out a pained exhale as he stared patiently, waiting for a response. I pulled him into a kiss as we entwined ourselves into each other. I was ready to give him that chance. Neither of us spoke for long minutes as we fiercely held each other, tighter than we had before.

I hoped I wasn't making a huge mistake.

My voice finally broke the silence. “I still can't believe you told Heidi everything.”

Ogre nodded against the side of my head. “I had to. What happened wasn't right. It was the only fair thing to do. No matter what would have happened.”

“I know it wasn't easy. I'm proud you did it,” I said. I brought his face before mine, stroking his head and crown. The feel of his close haircut was oddly soothing for me.

“Shouldn't we tell Eric?”

“I want to.” I closed my eyes and breathed deep. “But if Eric finds out that you're at the center of this shit storm, he'll go ballistic. He won't be able to forgive you. I can't handle that right now. Let's let things calm down a bit first.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“No. But I know I'm right about it.”