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Dances with Whales Home to the Keep Living World of Writing

   (4 reviews)
Dances with Whales (1).png

Eric has done well in his life. Born at the right time. Invested at the right time. Walked in on his boyfriend at the right time. To find him cheating. His plans for a world sailing trip vanished and he decides to take a few weeks to sail to Hawaii. Once again. At the right time.

This is being posted as a short story of approximately 14000 words. Please enjoy!
Copyright © 2024 P. E. Knapp; All Rights Reserved.

Story Recommendations (11 members)

  • Action Packed 9
  • Addictive/Pacing 8
  • Characters 11
  • Chills 7
  • Cliffhanger 2
  • Compelling 10
  • Feel-Good 9
  • Humor 5
  • Smoldering 2
  • Tearjerker 5
  • Unique 8
  • World Building 2

Select Chapter
Table of Contents
  • 1. Chapter 1
    • 4,263 Words
    • 1,431 Views
    • 20 Comments
  • 2. Chapter 2
    • 4,072 Words
    • 1,066 Views
    • 14 Comments
  • 3. Chapter 3
    • 3,765 Words
    • 1,014 Views
    • 14 Comments
  • 4. Chapter 4
    • 2,542 Words
    • 1,029 Views
    • 19 Comments
  • 5. Chapter 5
    • 879 Words
    • 752 Views
    • 12 Comments

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Kiom

   1 of 3 members found this review helpful 1 / 3 members

I enjoyed the 3 chapters I read, but there were things that didn't work.  I understand you needed him to fall off the boat and be abandoned there and be assumed dead.  But there is no motive for not reporting it nor for the abandonment, and especially none for trying to say he had never gotten on the boat in the first place.  Hardened criminals do that sort of thing, but he does not present as a guy who is running with hardened criminals.  There is no plot development to support this sort of sociopathic behavior, so it's difficult to swallow.

I once read that nothing in a story can be there without a purpose, as in, if a gun is on the table, then the gun somehow figures into the plot, etc.  So what was all the fuss about Eric keeping a low profile?  There were so many paragraphs of explanation about how he had arranged everything so the papparazzi or whatever didn't connect the dots in his life.  Why?  Who cares?  How does it fit?  What is that gun going to be used for?  Did I need to read the next two chapters to understand this sidebar?  If so, there was no device to lead me there.  Meanwhile, juxtaposed to that tangent, is that the guy owns 1/3 of a Hawaiian island, and, to keep it all on the DL, has a small manse there on a modest 10 or so acres overlooking the Pacific. Really?  Who owns 1/3 of a chunk of the world's most desirable real estate and gets to move about like an unknown hobo?  

Finally, I have to wonder what the story is about.  If it is about a guy who falls off a boat and is assumed dead but gets found by Prince Charming and has to deal with being abandoned by his friends, it needs a lot more than his tears than a lawsuit that happens off-screen.  If it's about how his near death experience ends in a realignment of his values and priorities, then going off to live in the Prince's chateau in Hawaii is insufficient as it's all external.  It doesn't examine the epiphany that helps him turn his life around.  So, though it was a nice fluffy story about a sweet and teary boy, I stopped reading.  There wasn't enough stuffing for me. 

I hope you find these comments useful.  And I am envious that you were somehow able to figure out how to post a story here; I am utterly unable to make sense of the instructions.  I even sent messages to the owners/staff, but have never heard back.  

Best, Kiom

 

Response from the author:

Thanks for the review Kiom.

As this story was written originally for the Fall Anthology, it was never fleshed out as it had to be below a certain word count.

I find it interesting that you said. I enjoyed the 3 chapters I read in the first paragraph, then in the second paragraph brought up issues that would not have been known to you if you didn't read the fourth chapter. *Shrugs*

In short, it was written as a short, fast story. Yes, is does have problems, but unless I rewrite it into a full-length novel, the readers will have to determine for themselves why things happened the way they did. Which will not be happening as I have already marked the story completed

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ReaderPaul

   4 of 5 members found this review helpful 4 / 5 members

A story different than most I read, it is worth reading.  After Logan ends up overboard, he is eventually rescued by Eric, a somewhat mysterious man who seems quite capable.  It takes some time for Logan to figure out more about enigmatic Eric and also the somewhat enigmatic Amanda.  Some pieces of the puzzle of these two enigmas take time to tickle the senses to gel with more understanding.

The story progresses pragmatically in a pleasingly playful way at intervals which make the reading a pleasure.  Starting with the dolphins as Eric spots Logan, more and more events eventually illuminate items we need to know for the enjoyment of the story.  "Whales" has more than one meaning in the story, (not including were-whales, since there is no direct supernatural in this tale)..

I recommend this.

Response from the author:

Thanks for the review @ReaderPaul! I appreciate your kind words!

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quokka

   5 of 5 members found this review helpful 5 / 5 members

Awesome story.

Great to see that a disaster has resulted in a rescue and a growing relationship that ends in love and marriage.

I really enjoyed this story. Thank you.

Q

Response from the author:

Thank you for the review @quokka! I appreciate it!

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Cane23

   5 of 5 members found this review helpful 5 / 5 members

Somewhere on the Pacific, after accidentally finding himself overboard, Logan is in a cold water, looking his boyfriend's boat sailing away. Eric finds him surrounded by dolphins and rescue him. Two guys, disappointed by their boyfriends, connected by destiny and unusual circumstances find the love of their lives. 

This amazing story is story of adventure, salvation and love. Thank you @P. E. Knapp for sharing this little masterpiece before the scheduled anthology.

Response from the author:

Thank you for the review @Cane23! I appreciate it.

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