
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
What brings us together - Part 1 - 7. Chapter 7
Cameron moved swiftly and knelt beside Jordan. He wrapped his arm over Jordan’s shoulders and reassuringly pulled Jordan against his chest. Jordan continued to sob, and Cameron continued to hold him.
Joshua took a step back and looked, stunned and concerned at the sight in front of him. He came to Stingray Heads with the expectation that no one would know him, and he could anonymously die. Instead, he met people who cared about him and whom he had come to care about. One of those people was currently on his knees reliving an experience that he had only heard about, but which was immensely important to both of them.
Michael’s eyes scanned from Jordan to Cameron and then settled on Joshua’s. “If it’s any consolation mate, he did do everything he could to save Adam, but Adam was probably dead before Jordan could get him back to the beach.”
Jordan wasn’t listening. His mind was replaying excerpts that relived the events of that fateful afternoon. Adam’s scream and the thrashing in the water. Rushing over and driving off the shark. Pulling Adam out of the red water and onto his board. Making the dash for the shore. People helping lift him onto the dry sand and tending the wounds. Himself performing CPR until the ambulance paramedics arrived. Being held back while the defibrillator was activated once. Then again. And again. The paramedic shaking his head. Hearing the screamed “no” coming from deep within his own heart. Wrenching himself away from the restraining policeman and wrapping his arms around Adam’s still body and kissing his unresponsive lips. And the tears.
Cameron’s voice finally penetrated these memories. “Come on Jords. I’ll help you to the table where you can sit down.” Jordan allowed Cameron and Joshua to help him to his feet and hold him as he made his way unsteadily to the table. He sat with Cameron and Joshua on each side of him. Each had an arm around him.
Michael sat opposite Jordan with a glass and a small bottle of scotch. He poured a small shot and offered it to Jordan. “This might help. That revelation must have brought back all the trauma of what happened that day.”
Jordan looked up. Yes, Michael’s eyes said it all. He was also there that day. He was looking at someone who had in some way shared that experience. Knowing that helped calm Jordan. It went some way to sharing the trauma. He lifted the glass to his lips and drank. The sudden sharpness snapped him out of the memories, and he became aware of the arms around him.
“You were Adam’s boyfriend. The Jordan he talked about.” It wasn’t a question, just a gentle statement. Jordan slowly nodded, “Yes my first real love.”
Cameron felt Jordan squeeze his hand in an intimate way that he instinctively knew indicated that he was now Jordan’s real love.
Joshua continued, “Can you tell me what happened?”
Jordan did not want to go through telling everyone and was saved by Michael.
“I was there that day so, if it’s OK with you Jordan, I can briefly explain what happened.
Jordan nodded, “Yes please.” He held his glass up and Michael poured another half shot.
Michael then explained as simply as he could, what he remembered about that afternoon. Listening, Jordan was able to distance himself from Michael’s accurate narrative of events and he listened as if hearing of events involving others.
Some surfers had gathered to see what was happening and stayed to listen to Michael. Most locals knew something about the shark attack and death. Michael finished and the other surfers wandered off talking amongst themselves.
Michael stayed. “So, you’re Jordan Anderson. I wondered about you using the Anderson holiday house. Welcome back. It’s been a while.” It was said with understanding and friendship. Then to Cameron, “Perhaps you should take him back to the house and have a rest.”
Cameron was also struggling to understand all that had happened. Suddenly he had collided with segments of Jordan’s life that were previously totally unknown to him. Foremost were the details of this devastating trauma. Cameron couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to have his lover, Jordan, killed in front of him.
At a simpler level, Jordan had never mentioned being to Stingray Heads before or having a family holiday house here. It was the very house they were staying in and like Stingray Heads, the house had to be significant, very significant. Jordan had admitted he was having problems forming a meaningful relationship until he met Cameron. The reason was now crystal clear.
He looked up and felt his love flowing towards Jordan, still hunched on the seat in his own world. He then looked at Michael. “Yes, You’re right. It’s been rough.” He was aware of Joshua nearby, “Rough for all of us.”
Cameron took Jordan’s arm and gently helped him off the seat to standing. Joshua seamlessly assisted. They walked with him to the car and Jordan moved into the passenger seat.
Cameron was about to close the door. “Can I come with you, please?” Joshua was worried and concerned for his new friends. It was Jordan who quietly replied “Yes. I’d like that.”
Cameron and Joshua fastened the boards to the roof rack. And Cameron drove to the house. Once inside Joshua started to make coffee while Cameron sat quietly with Jordan in the living area.
“Cam I’m sorry I hadn’t told you about all this, but I didn’t think I’d have to. I thought that being here with you would help me heal the past and leave it behind. I just though our being together here and with our love for each other I would be able to find, what do therapists call it, ‘closure’. What I didn’t expect was for the past to confront me the way it did. But it has. Cam I still want to heal the past and I want to continue with you. I’m in love with you Cam, and I don’t want to lose you. Can I ask you to forgive me?”
“Babe, you don’t have to ask me. I love you and now I know what’s been troubling you, there’s nothing to forgive. I’m also here to help you through this.”
Joshua overheard this as he entered with the coffees, which he placed on the coffee table in front of the chairs.
Cameron continued, “However, when you’re ready, I’d like you to tell me about you and Adam and about your connection to here. To Stingray Heads.”
Joshua quietly added, “I’d like that too, if it’s OK with both of you.”
Jordan gave them a faint smile and a sigh, “After what just happened you both deserve to know.”
He spoke softly and with little emotion. “This was another house my grandfather bought, and it was where I have memories of regular holidays. I love the town. It was even smaller when I first came here with mum and dad and my grandparents. I loved the beaches. It was where I caught my first wave. I also loved being so close to nature in the National Park. And the river. I had a kayak and used to go exploring in it. Other times we’d all use the boat.” His mood brightened, “It was here that Adam and I met and fell in love. We first met when I was 18 and he was 16. We both surfed and it was beyond the break in the line up that we first met and got to know each other.”
He reached for his coffee and took a sip before continuing, “The first holiday was very casual. We were just surfing mates hanging out together. Our families met for the first time and got along together. We all had an amazing holiday. It was the last day and both our families were leaving the next morning to return to our homes. We were all saying our goodbyes with handshakes hugs and waves. Adam and I hugged each other like surfing mates do. But that’s when things changed. In that hug, we kissed. It was brief but it’s a kiss I’ll never forget. Sorry Cam.”
Cameron didn’t have to think hard, “That’s OK Jords, I’ve got a kiss I never forget too.”
Joshua smiled, “Ditto”.
Jordan let out a soft laugh. He didn’t need to feel embarrassed or circumspect. These two were on his team and supporting him. In different ways they loved him.
Jordan continued, “We shocked each other and quickly separated, but that kiss lingered. We said goodbye but we stayed in contact when we returned home; him to Brisbane and me to Sydney. I thought about Adam all the time and I found out he kept thinking about me. The next holiday we were ready for each other and in between surfing we quickly started having sex together and not long into that holiday it was love.”
Jordan drank some more coffee and gathered his thoughts.
“After that holiday Adam got his licence and a car. Every Easter or long weekend we’d drive and meet here. Our parents seemed to accept that we were both gay and boyfriends.”
Joshua silently questioned that but didn’t say anything.
“The family holidays continued as well, and we fell more and more in love.”
Cameron looked at his lover. Something said he should feel at least jealous about Jordan and Adam’s love for each other, but he didn’t. He and Jordan loved each other now and while Adam was hauntingly in the present his love was in the past.
Jordan continued, “And then! Adam was 18 and I was 20 and we had a mid semester break that coincided for both Uni's. We meet here and you know what happened.” Jordan started crying. Cameron hugged him and Joshua quickly joined them.
Jordan felt the warmth of love around him and the comfort it provided him.
“So you and Adam were in love for two years before he . . . died?”
“Yes Josh,” he sighed sadly, “two years.”
Joshua nodded confirmingly, “Yeah. It figures. That’s why he was so happy then. Jords, it was here on that first family holiday that you and Adam started to teach me to surf properly.” Jordan was surprised but did not respond, “And he talked to me about you. You meant the world to him,”
It had been too long since Joshua had been with Adam or talked about him.
Jordan quietly responded, “Thanks Josh, that means so much more to me than you can imagine. And now I know who you are I remember you as his grommet little brother with us in the surf during those family holidays. I don’t remember having to teach you much. You’re a natural.”
Joshua thought back over those holidays and understood now, what he was too young to know then. Often he was the little brother cockblocking Adam and Jordan having ‘private’ moments together.
Joshua and Cameron each had an arm over Jordan’s shoulder. The three of them sat in their own silence. Thinking.
Cameron remembered reading somewhere that having a person talk about a trauma can help them. He broke the silence. “Jords, how did you cope with the funeral?”
Joshua instantly froze.
The past flooded back. “I wasn’t there. Adam’s parents made it clear I wasn’t welcome. Not just not welcome. They would prevent me attending. I spent the day in my room, on my bed with my tears and my memories.”
“He’s right. Mum and dad refused to allow Jordan to be at the funeral. They blamed him for Adam’s death. They said if it wasn’t for Jordan, Adam wouldn’t have been here so it wouldn’t have happened.”
All three, in their own way, understood the parents’ need to blame someone, anyone, for Adam’s death along with the truth that it really wasn’t anyone’s fault.
Joshua tightened his hold on Jordan’s shoulder and added, “Jords, Michael was right. Adam was dead before you got him to the beach. The inquest found that not long after the shark, he had a heart attack. They also determined that there were already some problems with his heart. I know you tried to save him, but there wasn’t anything you could do that would save him.”
Jordan wiped his tears, “Thanks Josh, I didn’t know that. I didn’t look for the coroner’s report because I thought it would be critical of me. I didn’t want to know.”
Cameron took hold of Jordan’s hand and lovingly squeezed it. “How do you feel?”
“Battered, drained, tired . . .”
“Hungry? It’s after four. We missed lunch.”
“Now you mention it I could do with some food.”
“How about Chinese? I’ll drive down and get some. What about you Josh?’
When he heard the time, Joshua was embarrassed but had to tell them, “Olivia will be back from school now and we’ve arranged to meet up and surf, if that’s OK, but I can wait here with Jordan until you get back.”
“It’s OK Cam and we need a bit of time together and I need to get out for a few minutes. I’ll come with you and we can drop you and your board at the beach. While I’m thinking about things, I’ve got my old mobile here. I keep it for emergencies. I’d like you to have it Josh. It means if something happens you can call us or we can call you.”
Jordan automatically opened the driver’s door. Cameron considered stopping him but decided that it might help pull Jordan into the present.
They arrived at the Chinese Café. “Cam, I’ll drop you here to order and take Josh down to the beach.”
“You’re OK going to the beach?”
“I think so, and it’s something I know I have to do.”
Joshua added, “If it’s not OK, I’ll call you.”
Cameron ordered and while waiting outside the café looked at the properties advertised in the window of the real estate agent next door. He was still there when Jordan returned.
“What are you doing? Thinking of buying a property?”
“Hi to you too. Have you forgotten I’m an architect. I’m interested in houses and that includes what’s selling.”
Cameron’s name was called indicating their order was ready and he took the opportunity to avoid any further questions.
Back at the house they spread out the food and started eating. They opened a bottle of wine.
They ate in silence while watching the sunset and the pod of dolphins swimming upstream along the north arm of the river. Eventually Cameron looked at the table, “I’ve had enough to eat. Unless you want more, I’ll put the rest in the fridge.” Jordan nodded agreement.
With the food taken care of, they settled on the couch with the remains of their glasses of wine. When Cameron felt it was safe and appropriate he asked, “What happened to you after Adam’s body was taken away.” Concern and compassion carried with the question.
“Of course, they wouldn’t let me see him. I was just his young boyfriend. I understand that now but not then. Then, it was devastating. People we knew here, called my parents and they drove up and took me home. I hadn’t been back here until our drive back from Brisbane.”
Cameron’s heart was filled with compassion overlaid by guilt. Guilt at having pulled Jordan back to Stingray Heads and loving compassion for what eventuated. “I’m sorry babe that all this has happened. I know you are only here because of me.”
Jordan leaned over and kissed Cameron. “Don’t be. I agreed to come here for my own reasons. I wanted to confront what this place represented and I felt it was right to do it with you, my partner, next to me. You remember when we talked about fate and coincidence? What are the chances that the three of us would be here at the same time? All together. No Cam, against all my training, I’m beginning to think fate has played a hand in bringing the three of us together, and here, even though I have no idea what the real reason is.”
“Well, we thought fate played a part in us meeting and that resulted in us being loving and in love, so maybe this will also work out just as well.”
Jordan wasn’t as sure as he pulled Cameron into a warm cuddle and loving kiss, “I don’t want anything bad happening to you or Josh.”
“And I don’t want anything bad happening to you or Josh. We need to do all we can to help Josh.”
Cameron turned on the couch so he was facing Jordan directly, “I’m going to ask again and I expect an honest answer.” He paused, “Are you OK?”
Jordan kissed Cameron again, “I love nurse Cameron. I hope he’s always here for me. And, yes I’m OK. At least for now.”
“You will tell me if this becomes too much, and you’re not OK?”
“Yes, I will from now on. I promise.”
Jordan’s phone rang. He didn’t recognize the caller ID but answered. “Hi,” and waited for a response.”
“Jords, It’s me Josh. Would it be OK if I go around and spend time with you tonight?”
Jordan whispered “It’s Josh” to Cameron and put the phone on speaker. “Yes Josh that’s totally OK. Josh, whose phone are you using? It’s not mine.”
“I’m using the free public phone near the shops. I don’t like spending your money.”
Both Jordan and Cameron decided to let that slide. “We’ll come and pick you up.”
“Nah, By the time you get in your car, drive here and pick me up and drive back, I’ll have walked there. It’s not far for a young guy. See you soon.”
Joshua knocked on the door and Cameron ushered him in. “We’re having a glass of wine. Would you like one, or a beer or coffee.”
Joshua sat next to Jordan, “You know I’m underage, but I’d like a beer.”
Cameron quickly pulled a beer from the fridge and handed it to Joshua, “What’s up? We thought you’d be with Olivia.”
Joshua’s face brightened, “I was, and we had mega fun surfing, but her dad said she had to stay home tonight. He said we can get together tomorrow night.”
“Have you eaten?”
“No but it’s OK.”
“We have plenty of left over Chinese and a microwave. It could go to waste if not eaten.”
Joshua made a mock imitation of his arm being held behind his back, “OK, you’ve twisted my arm. Yes I would like something to eat.”
Joshua’s joking was what they needed to relax them. Smiling happily, Cameron left and heated the left over Chinese food. He looked at Jordan and Joshua sitting together. They were relaxed and very comfortable with each other. This morning had forged a bond between them; created by their relationships to Adam and bonded through his death.
The microwave pinged and Cameron carried the food and utensils out to Joshua.
“Thanks. This looks good,” followed by, “It also tastes good.”
While Joshua was eating, Jordan asked, “Why did you want to come around here tonight, Josh.”
“Basically, I came around to see if you’re OK.” Before Jordan could respond Joshua added, “And I was feeling a bit down and wondered if you had a TV with something we could watch.”
“Josh, with you and Cam’s help I’m feeling OK.” He glanced at Cameron, “And I promise I’ll tell you when I’m not. But to your question, this place has internet and I bet mum subscribed to a couple of streaming services when she knew we were coming here.”
Jordan picked up the remote and activated the TV. Sure enough they had a choice of streaming services. They decided they wanted something light and quickly settled on a romcom; Red, White and Royal Blue. Joshua didn’t mind it having a gay theme and it was just right as it allowed them to have fun, enjoy just being together and laugh. That was essential after what had happened that morning.
When the movie finished Cameron suggested Joshua might like to stay. He responded, “I’m tempted but now I know Jords is OK I’m not needed here tonight. And believe it or not I’m enjoying having my own space in the cabin. It’s nice. It’s sorta mine. Something I haven’t really had. Thanks, but I’ll walk back and anyway I bet I’ll be in the surf in the morning before you two.”
“If you don’t want us driving you to the cabin, I understand. Just give us a call when you’re in the cabin.”
Joshua didn’t mind doing that but felt mischievous, “Yes Dad.”
Jordan was surprised and amused, but Cameron responded first. “At least he didn’t call you Mum.” They all burst out laughing.
As Joshua was leaving Jordan gave him a hug, “Thank you Josh for being supportive today. I really needed it and appreciated it.”
Joshua returned the hug, “The least I could do for the people who saved my life.”
After Joshua left Jordan and Cameron cleared the food containers and washed the plates and cutlery. Joshua did send a text saying he was in the cabin and going to bed. Jordan replied with a thumbs up.
In bed they snuggled together. “Babe, It’s been a very emotional day. I can understand if you just want to go to sleep. I’m happy to just sleep curled up with you.”
“Yeah, You’re right. I am feeling exhausted, but can I reserve the right for some physical loving in the morning.”
Cameron felt the same and curled together they quickly drifted off to sleep.
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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