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Slothin' It - 1. Chapter 1 - Living in a slow world

Chapter 1 - Living in a slow world


My name is Larry and I’m a two-toed sloth.

Not many people have a hard time admitting their base form, but mine comes with… we’ll say some prejudices. Granted, I do hold up traffic - a lot - and I’m constantly late no matter how early I leave. Hell, there are laws set in place that sloths get extended time to complete any task or even pay any bill. Seriously? I’m slow, not incapable of paying my bills, even though it is very time-consuming pressing the pay button on that app on my phone, that took me forty-five minutes last— I’m getting off track. Back to what I was saying.

I think the hardest thing is that in my head all my thoughts run a thousand miles and hour. I can’t focus on one thing for long before I want to jump to the next subject. It’s pretty strange for a sloth to think faster than they move. My mother and father thought there was something wrong with me when I was a baby and they weren’t wrong, well not exactly. There wasn’t anything wrong with me, but I did have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). For a sloth having ADD was a silent issue. I say that because other animals didn’t recognize our struggle, nope, just other sloths, and there isn’t a lot of us. My mother asked me why I asked so many questions in a row all the time. To give you an example: “Hey….mom…. Why is … the sky… blue? Why is… the road … two ways? Why is…” I got cut off - slowly I should add - by my mother when she couldn’t keep up with my questions. There were normally two or three questions… that’s it. I found out when I was older that was a normal number of questions, mind you, it was normal for anyone that wasn’t a sloth.

Regardless of how different I felt from other sloths I still suffered from the same habitual slowness that we all had. Just the other day I was in line at McDuckold’s trying to order a parfait and the words were coming out slow like they always did and a teenager behind me got so angry he walked around me and started ordering. A part of me wanted to say something to him about being rude, but it would have taken me longer than it did for him to actually order. He did leave with a parting comment about “stupid sloth” under his breath. I was used to it at this point.

I’d tried to hang out with other sloths before, but it never really worked out. Yes, I do mean both physically hanging out with other sloths and figuratively. Hanging around is one of our superpowers after all. Anyway, part of me could never get fully involved with another sloth, for one they couldn’t keep up with me. Yes, I’m slow, but in comparison to the rest of my kind, I was like a cheetah on cocaine… for two days. My brother Paul was probably the slowest sloth alive, I think he actually went out of his way to be the slowest he could possibly be. Not that it was hurting him any, our parents loved my brother, worshiped the branch he barely moved off of. Paul had all the sloth girls fawning over him since he was a teenager. They’d gawked over his slow movements and sultry sloth looks — I’m not kidding. Paul is always telling me I need to be more like a sloth, stop trying to be something I’m not. Maybe he’s right, but I can’t find it in myself to let the world pass me by like the rest of my kind. I want more than to live in slow motion.

So that’s how I found myself looking up local clubs on my computer at work twenty minutes before I got off for the day. It was my twenty-first birthday and I wanted to do something fun and adventurous. What better than to go to a rave? It definitely wasn’t something other sloths would do. Ooohh, a new club popped up on my screen, It was perfect. This was where I was going to go tonight. I was going to drink and dance like normal animals and not have to worry about being a—


Oh god, someone shoot me now. Sighing I turned around in my spinny chair to face Bob who was looking at me from over his partition. “Yup?” I asked, even though I really did not want to get caught up in this conversation. I learned a long time ago to avoid getting into conversations with other sloths. With as quick as my mind worked I did not have the patience to wait for them to get through every sentence.

“Did….you….file the….permit—”

“No.” I cut Bob off as quickly as I physically could say the word. I’d also learned speaking in shorter sentences made my speech patterns less unbearable, so I tend to speak less than my counterparts. Other sloths didn’t think it was annoying how slow they spoke, but for me and the general public it was torture getting through a conversation with a sloth.

Bob’s eyes widened slowly while he tried to catch up with the change in our conversation. “You….know….who—”

I was not doing this, not today. “Yes.” I spun my chair around effectively cutting our conversation short. I know it was rude of me, but Bob knew how much I hated to talk. If he wanted to know about the permit he should have sent me an email about it. I sighed and stared at my computer screen where the picture of the club was still up. I wonder what working at a place like that was like? I’d bet that it was a thousand times better than being a permit writer for the city. It wasn’t like I’d dreamed of writing permits as a kid, but there were only a few jobs a sloth got to pick from as an adult, permit writer, DMV clerk, and sign holder. I really hated to talk to people and I refused to hold a damn sign all day, so I’d ended up at permits downtown. Don’t get me wrong I’d tried to get a different job. When I was younger I’d thought I would set in motion a revolution for sloth kind and get a job unlike any before me, but that hadn’t worked out like I’d hoped it would. The job I got was at a coffee shop, the owner had taken pity on me and given me a chance to work there. Everything had been fine for a few days while I was in training, then they put me out to make coffee. Apparently no matter how fast my mind was, my body was still slow as any sloths. I ended up making five coffees in two hours.


The owner didn’t have to fire me, I quit. It didn’t get much more embarrassing than having people scream for their coffee asking what idiot hired a sloth to do this job. I tried some other jobs, but those didn’t work out either. The worst was being a window washer, it took me two days to wash a single window. The high schoolers thought it was funny how slow I was and would come by and write on the windows “slowpoke” and “slow turd” with dry erase markers. They also wrote it really high up on the windows, and being only five foot two inches there was no way I was going to get up to their six foot reach without a ladder and a lot of time. I quit that job instead of even degrading myself by trying. That’s when I went to permitting, or rather when my parents told me it was best if I went into permitting. So I did and I’ve been here for a year, suffering through, with Bob and all the other sloths.

I looked at my computer screen again, the inviting photos of the club drawing me in. I was going to that club tonight, even if I made a fool of myself I was going to go.



I took an uber to get to the club. Like everything I plan out my actions in advance so I’m never late or slow for the person who has to deal with me. I always thought it was rude when my parents would make people wait on them as they used their sloth slowness as an excuse to do whatever it was they were doing. So I made sure I was outside of my house ready to go ten minutes before my uber got there, I also made sure to wear my wheelie shoes so I could get around a little faster than I would in normal shoes.

Once I got into my uber the driver gave me an odd look when he saw the destination. “You sure you want to go to this club, Sloth?” The fox asked me with a confused draw of his face. He was bad looking with red hair and a red beard that was wild looking but kind of sexy. Too bad with the looks he was giving me it was very unlikely he was going to give me the time of day.

Yes.” I said, not bothering to say too much. Predators rarely had the patience for how slowly I spoke, not that I wanted to advertise it.

He nodded and turned his green eyes towards the road driving towards the club away from my small two bedroom house in the woods. We drove in silence for a few minutes the foxes green eyes looking back at me through the rearview mirror every so often. I had the inclination he wanted to say something but didn’t know what. “Yes?” I asked hoping that would make him say something.

The fox shrugged his narrow shoulders. “Nothing I’m just not used to a sloth being so quiet. The last few I drove didn’t stop talking. Don’t get me wrong they didn’t say much,” he laughed awkwardly and then coughed to cover it up. “Anyways, I’m just surprised you don’t talk much and you're going to a club, guess I’m trying to figure you out.”


Well that was new. Most people just thought I was slow mentally that was why I didn’t talk a lot like other sloths. “I’m….quiet.” I said trying my best to get the words out as quickly as possible, but they still had a slow lull to them that I could never escape.

“I noticed. Well, we’re here. Have fun.” He said amicably as I got out of the car and into the club parking lot. I closed the door and looked at the hopping venue lit up at night with bright lights and loud music as people walked in. I couldn’t help the excitement bubbling up inside my gut. It was right outside the city but just outside of the suburban forest. It was amazing and filled the same type of frenetic energy I had inside of me. Setting my wheelies on the pavement I let the wheels move me quickly across the parking lot towards the line that led to the club. At the door, a large gorilla looked at me with surprise. His black skin shone in the club extreme lighting and across his bald head and massive muscles. He was massive, which wasn’t surprising but I’d never seen a gorilla in person before, only on the TV during boxing matches.

“Hi,” I said while awkwardly handed him my license that I’d already had out, not wanting to take forever to get it out while I was standing up front.

The gorilla took my ID and looked it over with a skeptical frown before handing it back to me with a shrug. “Twenty dollars to get in.” He rumbled out as if he said that all night, which he obviously did. I was already pushing my hand towards him, in what would be considered quick reaction time for a sloth, but probably looked very strange to the gorilla. He met me halfway and pulled the twenty out of my hand. I didn’t mind, I really hated when people made me go through the entire motions when I didn’t have to. The bouncer put the money away and wrapped an orange bracelet around my outstretched wrist before lifting the stantion strap to let me in. “Welcome to The Pack.” He said the clubs name as I stared past him into the dark room pulsing with sound and strobe lights unable to move quickly enough to get in.

Letting my wheelies touch the ground I skated inside, my eyes wide as I took in all the amazing sights and sounds around me. Bodies moved in sensual motions on the dance floor as various weres ground their hips against available asses. I longed to join them, but I knew there was no way in hell I’d be able to keep up with any dance partner that I might find. My best bet was to start with the bar and get a few drinks, it was my twenty-first birthday after all. The interior of the club was dark with bright lights of various colors, like fuschia, blue, purple and yellow, the light reflected off the various plants that gave the club the appearance of a jungle inside the building. Part of me wanted to climb into some of the beautiful trees I saw, but I wasn’t going to waste my birthday celebration climbing a potted tree in a club. No, my destination was the bar on the outside of the dance floor. Using my skates I glided through the various people with minimal movement till I reached an open seat at the bar where I slide into it gracefully as I’d intended.

“Where did you come from beautiful?” A voice asked from behind me making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I felt my chair shift and was glad to realize the bar stool allowed me to swivel around to face the stranger.

A man in his late thirties peered down at me with brown eyes and flushed cheeks. Judging by the smell of his breath, the flush was from one to many jack and cokes. Still, the fact a stranger that was good looking had called me beautiful was more than I’d hoped for, and definitely not in the first few minutes of being here. “Hi.” I felt a blush spread of my pale neck and onto my freckled cheeks.

“Oh? Are you shy too? You’re really pretty when you blush. What’s your name?” He asked, some of his words a little slurred as he spoke.

Ry.” I said, refusing to tell the man my full name. It wasn’t sexy in the least and I didn’t want my potential suitor to scoff at it. Nobody wanted to be with someone named Larry, the name was a physical turn off.

“Ry? That’s different. Is this your first time here Ry? My names Beck, I’m a hawk. What’s your animal?” Beck took another sip of his drink that I realized he’d had in his hand.

I deflated a little. He didn’t know what I was. If he wasn’t drunk he would have been able to smell it on me in a heartbeat, just like how I’d known what he was the moment I’d caught his scent. Would it hurt to lie? If he couldn’t guess what I was, couldn’t I pretend for just one night that I wasn’t a slowpoke sloth that nobody wanted? “I’m….a—”

“Beck what are you doing talking to a sloth?” Another man came up to the table. He was different than beck with a thin sleek body, not much taller than be a five feet five inches and bleach blonde hair. He had blue eyes that skimmed over me with a disgusted look that seeped all the way down past my skin and into my bones. He was a rabbit, a snow white one with blue eyes, I would bet on it just from his coloring.

“A sloth!” Beck laughed as he looked at me with a new expression, his earlier interest completely gone. “God I’m drunk I couldn’t even smell it!” He laughed as he looked at the other man. “Thanks for the warning Jack! I think that would have been the worst thing I’d ever stuck my dick in!”

Pain lanced through my heart and I had to keep the sad little whine from breaking out of me. Was I so bad? He’d thought I was sexy before he’d known, why did it matter that I was a sloth. I was a little slow moving but I wasn’t ugly, or mean, or stupid, so why were they so cruel? I turned my spinning bar stool around to face the bar again. It wasn’t like I could run away, I wasn’t fast enough and somehow I had a feeling they would find a way to make fun of me for it. My eyes burned as I heard them laughing behind me before they walked off back into the crowd.

“Need a drink?”

I looked up at the bartender as I felt the first few tears roll down my cheeks. Unlike the rest of me, my tears were not slow, they moved quickly down my cheeks to drip off my chin. “Yes….I d-do.” I mumbled. “It’s….my….birthday.”

“Oh slothie you did not pick a good place for your birthday. Everyone here is an asshole.” The older man said as he started mixing an unknown cocktail and pouring it into a glass, the colorful blue liquid shimmering as he put a little umbrella in it top it off. “Here you go cutie. This one's on me, happy birthday. My name’s Terry. You stay here while I make my rounds and I’ll come check on you.”

I nodded slowly as I watched the older badger walk away and talk to other patrons at the other end of the bar. At least he had been nice, but he was right I’d picked a horrible place to come for my birthday. What had I thought would happen — that I’d dance all night with sexy strangers while getting wasted? Yeah, I’d fantasized about that, but who was I kidding? Wiping at my tears I took a drink of my bright blue drink. The liquids sweet taste splashed against my tongue making me humm happily against the straw. It was my first alcoholic beverage and I was happy Terry had made whatever it was he’d made because it tasted amazing.

I spent the next hour drowning myself in four of those blue drinks. Terry kept coming over asking me how I was doing before he’d make me another ‘Sex In the Driveway’ - the name of the blue cocktails I’d been swimming in. Being drunk was an odd feeling but I realized it made my mind as slow as the rest of my body. The sound of the music swept me away as the beat thrummed through my blood. I realized as I giggled at the little umbrella in my drink that I didn’t care about much when I was like this.

“Hey Slothie, it’s closing hours. Do you need help getting an uber?” Terry asked with concern on his face.

“I’m……….fine.” Was I talking slower than normal?

Wow you’re really drunk. I didn’t even put that much alcohol in there.” Terry laughed. “I didn’t put any in the last one.”

“Sloth can’t hold his liquor?” A familiar voice taunted from behind me.

Terry’s face tightened as he bared his teeth at the man behind me. “Go get fucked Jack, that’s all you’re good for.”

Oh, Jack, that asshole from earlier. “You’re……...an……..assssshole.” I slurred out dramatically.

“Fuck you, Terry, you just wish you could have my ass.” Jack sneered before grabbing my shoulder and swiveling my stool around to face. “As for you, you’re right I am an asshole, and I get the best dick in town because I am.” Jack’s blue eyes shined as he leaned in close to me. “I bet a stupid sloth like you hasn’t ever been fucked, and won’t ever be fucked a day in your life.”

I leaned away from the nasty rabbit, his beautiful features so misleading to his evil personality. What had I done to this man to deserve this malicious attack? I wanted to say something but I couldn’t get it out past nausea rolling in my gut along with all that ‘Sex in the Driveway’.

“Jack I’m going to tell Walker about—”

Terry what’s going on?” A deep sexy voice asked as another man approached the bar.

I looked past Jack to the empty dance floor (when had the club cleared out?) and saw the sexiest man alive walking towards us. The man was massive, every bit of six and a half feet and packed full of hard muscles and a lean abdomen. It took everything in me not to swallow my tongue as I looked over his tan skin and tight-fitting black crew neck t-shirt and dark denim hugging thighs like tree trunks. Above all that it was his golden eyes that made me want to fall off my barstool and climb him like a very nice tree.

“Hey Walker, Jack here was causing our newbie here some trouble. I didn’t give him much to drink but maybe sloths are different?” Terry said looking between me and the evil twink bunny still standing too close. Walker, the sexy man's name was Walker. I could walk all over Walker, if I could figure out how to walk at the moment.

Jack chittered like rabbits did when irritated. “I did not, Walker. I’d never do anything mean,” he moved away from me to get closer to the large man and put a suggestive hand on his massive chest. “You know how nice I am,” Jack purred.

A random hiss burst out of me. Eyes wide I watched as Walker and Jackrabbit both looked at me with surprised glances. Not many people knew sloths actually made sounds like hisses-- thank god I didn’t start randomly screaming for my mate (sloths did that when they were in heat). Walker’s gold eyes captured mine as he grabbed Jack’s hands and pulled them off his chest and put them at his sides. “Nice wouldn’t be the word I would use Jack,” he said as he disengaged from the twink. “We’re closed so you need to leave.”

Oh, I shifted on my stool awkwardly as my chest constricted painfully. Of course, I needed to leave, who the hell was I kidding that this god would want to talk to me? I slid off the barstool and put my unsure feet on the ground when I felt my wheelies that I’d forgotten about slide across the floor making me lose my balance. Strong hands grabbed me quickly and scooped me up against their chest. Looking up at my rescuer I was shocked to see Walker looking down at me with bright yellow eyes, his nostrils flaring wide as he breathed in my scent. My mouth was suddenly extremely dry as I took a deep inhale of his strong aroma and felt every part of my body vibrate to life with arousal and intense heat. Oh god, he’s a wolf, a fucking wolf! But that wasn’t the most shocking thing, no it was not. He was my—

“Mate. I’m your mate.” Walker said with wide confused eyes.

Then I passed out to the sounds of irritated bunny chitters.

Copyright © 2018 Pmsingtiger; All Rights Reserved.
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Chapter Comments

3 hours ago, Wesley8890 said:

Has someone watched Zootopia recently? I was hoping for Ira 😢. But I 👍this one. 

I haven't but I do love that movie!!! Also I visited a sloth recently and got to pet him and he gave me inspiration. Also Ira can't be on this site because I published the other two books so if you ever want to read on the third book message me and I'll link you into the file :D

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That was an awesome first chapter. Thanks.  Find your mate and pass out seems to be a theme sometimes.  I am glad that Jack(ass) the bunny got shot down. Looking forward to more.  Thanks. 

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Oh, Larry! So hard on himself and not accepting who he is. Other people's opinions of us can really cause us to hate ourselves. Of course, being kind to oneself would be easier if others bothered to try and see the good in us instead of seeing the differences as something bad. 


Wolf and sloth will be a challenge for them. Perhaps they can learn from each other, and not only Larry trying to keep up.

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I want a Sex in the driveway, while scouring the recesses of your brain @Pmsingtiger. Your concepts and plots are hilarious. Sloths and alcohol don’t mix. They have slow motor skills to begin with. Looking forward to more.

Edited by BlindAmbition
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Definitely a chapter that grabbed me and demanded, “Follow me. Now!!” So, what else can I do? Looking forward to see what comes next. 

Edited by Dr. John NYC
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Definitely a chapter that grabbed me and demanded, “Follow me. Now!!” So, what else can I do? Looking forward to see what comes next. 

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8 hours ago, BlindAmbition said:

I want a Sex in the driveway, while scouring the recesses of your brain @Pmsingtiger. Your concepts and plots are hilarious. Sloths and alcohol don’t mix. They have slow motor skills to begin with. Looking forward to more.

My brain is a scary place. I watch Disney movies and I’m like “that would make a great gay romance! Let’s add some danger” 😈

also I imagine if there were two people in there plotting there would be some strange concoctions coming out 😂

Edited by Pmsingtiger
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Also @BlindAmbition I work at a certain bear building company and come up with all kinds of wild story ideas when we get new animals in 😂 it’s a giant game with stuffed animals all day that are plotting my next stories. 

Edited by Pmsingtiger
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