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    Pmsingtiger
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Slothin' It - 4. Chapter 4 - Not speedy speed dating

sorry it took me so long 😓

Chapter 4 - Not speedy speed dating

It took us two hours to reach the mingle two blocks away, we were almost to the door of the building, but we had another good thirty minutes before she made it that far. Like always my mother refused to take a taxi if she didn’t absolutely have to, something about being independent of the fast-moving world. I didn’t mind waiting for my slow moving mother as I skated ahead, and then back towards her, it gave me time to think. What exactly was going on with me and the stranger? I had so many questions to ask him and a part of me was afraid I wouldn’t see hide nor hair of him again. I’d just lost my virginity to the sexiest man I’ve ever seen, and I somehow left him in my apartment to join my relentless mother to go to a stupid sloth mingle. Why was I doing this to myself?

“I……..

……..wish……..

……... you……..

………. wouldn’t……..

………..wear………..

………..those………..

………..shoes.” Mom mumbled as I glided around her again. It wasn’t the first time she’s said something like that, actually, it was the fifty-eighth time she’d mentioned my wheelies. If she was anything other than a sloth, I wouldn’t have been able to keep count of over a decade of complaints about my shoes, but it was easy to keep count when every single word took a few minutes. She was my mother, I had to listen to her talk, even if it drove me insane on a soul-deep level.

“I…...want…...to…...be…...able…...to……..e-escape.” I said, stumbling on the last word when I tried to speak too fast.

Moms face scrunched up into a tight frown as she continued to walk, pedestrians walking around us while grumbling irritably. “Larry………

……….you………..

………..shouldn’t………..

…………..try…………..

………….to…………..

………….speak………..

………….so………….

………..fast…………

……...Remember………

………...what………..

………..happened………..

……….last………….

………..time.” Concern coated her words as she continued to walk, ignoring the rumbles and growls of the people passing up on the sidewalk.

“Did she have to bring that up?” I thought morosely, feeling some of my light-hearted happiness evaporating in a puff of bad memories. “I….am…..fine….I…..know…..my…..limits.” I replied with a bite to my words. She knew how much it pained me to remember what had happened, it had been terrifying for me, but she still had to bring it up. "Why didn’t I just stay in bed with my crazy telepathic wolf god? He would have made me much happier."

“You………..

………..know…………

………….I……………

………...worry………..

………...about………..

…………you……….....

………….I……………..

………….just………….

…………want…………

………...you……………..

…………...to…………….

…………..be……………

…………..happy—”

“I’m……...ha—” I started, only to be cut off by her continued speech.

“With………….

………….another………..

…………..sloth.” She finished, completely ignoring my attempt to say anything. I was also used to that, it was normal for a sloth to continue talking until they were done, regardless of who else tried to talk over them.

“I’m…..happy…..mom…..without......other…...sloths…..I’m…..n-not….like…..them.” I wasn’t anything like other sloths, proven by my weird habits, racing thoughts, hell my shoe choice; the point was I would never be like my kind. I didn’t want to be.

She frowned deeper, most likely catching my stutter and not agreeing with what I had to say. I could see she wanted to talk more about it, but thankfully we had finally reached the building where the mingle was. I would rather sit with strange sloths talking aimlessly about themselves for four hours than hear my mother talk about my lifestyle choices anymore. So I skated ahead and opened the door for her because it would take her a solid minute to get through the threshold. It was a restaurant at the bottom of a beautiful brownstone building in downtown and from the appearance a very expensive restaurant. There was opulence everywhere from crystal chandeliers to marble top tables and well-dressed wait staff who greeted us at the door.

“May I take your coat madame?” The host, an older badger by the smell of it, asked my mother.

She grinned and slowly went to remove the item. I gave the older badger a few extra points when he didn’t hurry her or become impatient, obviously, he was used to dealing with sloths. Looking around the area while mom took her coat off, I saw that there were no other customers in the beautiful restaurant. Had they really reserved the entire restaurant for the mingle? Then again, was that so surprising? It would be a lot of sloths in this place, and it would take a long time to get all those drink orders. This was going to be horrible.

It took mom a solid few minutes to pull the coat off and our host, Brad, took it from her and offered to lead us into the lavish dining area where tables had been set up to sit two. I cringed when I noticed that they had gone as far as putting lit candles in the middle of the tables, but what was worse was that all the chairs had wheels on them, so that the wait staff could push each rotating sloth to the next table. This just went from being horrible to even worse.

“I………

………..will……….

…………sit…………

………..over…………

………..here………….

………..Larry…………

……….some………....

………...of……………

………..the…………..

………...ladies………….

………..from…………..

………….the……………

………...Slothotics………

……...community………..

……….want…………..

………….to…………….

………...chat,” she said sweetly as she mosied over to the other older woman that made up the rich and privileged of sloth society.

I sighed. My mother had brought me to this stupid mingle and then abandon me so she could chat with her upper-class friends about whatever it was they talked about. The last time I’d caught wind of their conversations it had been a large bashing of all people not living the slow life. Things like ‘I hear going very fast is hard on the body and can cause death, those poor cheetahs must all die young.’ ‘How disrespectful those rabbits are talking so quickly to us.’ On and on and on these women could go for hours, granted they didn’t get much out in that hour but they made sure to make up for it by being as speciest as possible.

“Whatever I’ll just get through this and then I’ll have done my family duty for the month.” I thought irritably as I skated over to the only open chair another sloth already seated across with the table. The man wasn’t much to look at with brown hair and brown eyes, a short plump build and a squished face, he was by far the least attractive man I’d seen in a long time. As I sat down I noticed the wide-eyed glances he was giving me, darting his gaze from down to my shoes to up to my face. From his name tag on his shirt, I read the name, Craig.

“You……….

………………………..are—”

“No……don’t…..talk…….I…….don’t……..want…..to……...t-talk.” I cut him off as quickly as physically possible. I was not going to sit through a sloth talking slower than even my mother, and just from the first few words, I could tell Craig was a record setter.

“so………………..

…………………………...handsome—” Craig continued, not even listening to my rude interrupting, how very slothetic of him.

“Seriously? I’d come here for this? I could have stayed in bed, with my sexy wolf and let him ravish me again, but now I let my mother drag me out to speed date with other sloths. Why did I hate myself so much?” I sighed as I stared at Craig, who was most definitely not done talking yet. Maybe if I cut him off again he’d take the hint. “I…...don’t…..like…...talking.” The second time was always a charm.

“you………………………….

……………………………..shouldn’t……………………………..

……………………………..wear……………………………..

……………………………..those……………………………..

……………………………..shoes—” Craig said, not even hearing me tell him I didn’t want to talk. "Why did other sloths do that? No other species did that, only sloths. Also, was this man seriously following a compliment with a criticism? He tells me I’m handsome, and then follows that with my choice of footwear, a great way to woo someone, Craig.” I thought while glaring at frumpy ass Craig across the table. “Please…..continue…..C-craig,” everyone knows you will anyway.

“they……………………………..

……………………………..make……………………………..

……………………………..you……………………………..

……………………………..unattractive.” He finished.

“Seriously? My wheelies were unattractive, but his toupee was supposed to be sexy?” I was pretty much over this mingle already and it had only been twenty minutes. Looking around the room I noticed that I had another twenty plus sloths to get through before my hell was over. I would be here for a long ass time, and that was almost as terrifying as sitting on my sore ass for hours at a time. First thing first, I needed to put Craig in his place.

“Hmmm… …...Craig… ….you… ….know… ….what?” I crooked my finger asking the other man to lean over the table so I could whisper to him. Light sparked in his dull eyes and he moved a quickly and sloth possible to lean across the table. I followed and got close enough to whisper into his ear. “I… ...let… ..a… ...wolf… ..fuck… ...my… …..unattractive… …ass… ...this…. …..morning.. …so… ….I… ...don’t … .care… ...what… ..you… ….t-think.” I pulled away watching the color drain out of the man's face as he slowly absorbed everything I’d just told him. It took Craig a moment to recover but when he did I saw the slow-burning anger fill his brown eyes. I probably should have kept my mouth shut, but I couldn’t sit here and listen to this pompous ass talk shit about my wardrobe.

“You…………….

……………………………..are……………………………..

……………………………..disgu—”

The bell went off for everyone to switch tables, effectively cutting off what Craig was about to say. Good for him, because he wouldn’t have liked my reaction in the slightest. The tables were set in a large circle with the interior guests going counter-clockwise and the exterior ones going clockwise effectively mixing up the group until we would come full circle. The waiter got behind Craig's rolling chair and pushed him to the next table, while my chair was pushed in the other direction - thank god.

I stopped at my next table only to stare straight at my brother, my identical face glaring back at me. “I take that back god, no thank you, you’re an asshole.” It was always strange staring back at my face, but a more uptight stuffy version of it. Paul had the same rare blue eyes and blonde hair that I had, but where I kept my blonde hair shaggy and long, Paul cut his into the perfect corporate hairstyle. We were identical at birth but we had very different personalities and appearances.

“What……………………………..

……………………………..did……………………………..

……………………………..you……………………………..

……………………………..say……………………………..

……………………………..to……………………………..

……………………………..Craig?……………………………..

……………………………..That……………………………..

……………………………..is……………………………..

……………………………..a……………………………..

……………………………..very……………………………..

……………………………..important……………………………..

……………………………..sloth.” Paul said in his usual slow way.

“Nice… .to… .see… ..you… ..too… ..p-paul.” I hissed. “Had he seriously started with the ass Craig, instead of asking me how I was doing?”

“I……………………………..

……………………………..can’t……………………………..

……………………………..believe……………………………..

……………………………..mom—”

“Brough ….m-me… .h-hhhere? I… .d-don’t… .want… ..to… b-be… .here.” I stuttered horribly as I tried to push out the irritable words as quickly as I was thinking them.

“What……………………………..

……………………………..did……………………………..

……………………………..you……………………………..

……………………………..say?……………………………..

……………………………..Stop……………………………..

……………………………..talking……………………………..

……………………………..quick……………………………..

……………………………..to……………………………..…

……………………………..me……………………………..

……………………………..you……………………………..

……………………………..remember……………………………..

……………………………..what……………………………..

……………………………..happened……………………………..

……………………………..last……………………………..

……………………………..time.” Paul finished, blue eyes blazing.

First mom brings it up and now Paul, did they both want to push me over the edge today? The only thing keeping me from blowing up was the warm joy still lingering in my belly from my wolf. Even with my warm glow, if there was anyone who could ruin it, it would be my brother. “I’ll…. ...talk… ....how…… ...I…… ...want… …..to,” because I sure as hell wasn’t going to waste half my life getting to the next word in a sentence. “I…. ..told… ...Craig… ….I… ...didn’t… …..care… ...what… ...he… ...thought… ….of… ...me… ….I… ...have… ... a… ...wolf.... ...lover.”

I almost hadn’t said anything about Walker to Paul, I wasn’t sure if I was ready for my family to attack my life choices yet again, but when Paul’s eyes widened comically big and he spluttered, I knew I’d made the perfect choice. “Are……………………………..

……………………………..you……………………………..

……………………………..insane?” Paul hissed as realization finally sunk in.

I shrugged. “He’s… ...a… ….predator… ... but… ...he… ….won’t… ...hurt… ….me.” I still wasn’t sure how I knew that, but I had no doubt that Walker would never hurt me.

Paul hissed again. “I……………………………..

……………………………..don’t……………………………..

……………………………..care……………………………..

……………………………..about……………………………..

……………………………..that……………………………..

……………………………..I……………………………..

……………………………..want………………………………

……………………………..to……………………………..

……………………………..know……………………………..

……………………………..what……………………………..

……………………………..you……………………………..

……………………………..said……………………………..

……………………………..to……………………………..

……………………………..Craig?” Paul hissed irritably, getting the attention of the sloths at the table next to us. They gave us an odd look, obviously noticing we were twins before they looked away.

“Why did I agree to go to this? First Craig, now my brother, both pestering me. I wish I’d stayed with my wolf,” but I hadn’t wanted to explain him to my mom when I wasn’t really sure what was going on. Also getting caught by my mom attached to someone after losing my virginity wasn’t at the top of my list of things to do. My brother's crassness hurt more than I wanted it to, definitely more than Craig’s words. He didn’t care about my first lover, he knew I hadn’t been with anyone else. Tears stung my eyes but I scrunched up my face to angry to let them fall.

“Look,……………………………..

……………………………..you……………………………..

……………………………..look……………………………..

……………………………..like……………………………..

……………………………..me……………………………..

……………………………..I……………………………..

……………………………..can’t……………………………..

……………………………..afford……………………………..

……………………………..for……………………………..

……………………………..you……………………………..

……………………………..to……………………………..

……………………………..sully……………………………..

……………………………..my……………………………..

……………………………..reputation……………………………..

……………………………..with……………………………..

……………………………..your……………………………..

……………………………..quick……………………………..

……………………………..ways.” Paul finished, narrowing his blue eyes.

Ruin his reputation? The one where he was the slowest most affluent sloth in the city? That was all he cared about wasn’t it? It had been for a long time, ever since we were in middle school and I— I metaphorically shook my head, I didn’t want to remember back then, mom and Paul had brought it up enough for one day. It wasn’t like Paul was being different today than any other day, but I had figured he would at least care about my wolf lover. “Whatever… ....Paul,” was all I said, what else could I say to my self-absorbed twin?

The bell rang and the wait staff pushed our chairs on to the next table, effectively cutting off my brothers response. I fumed silently as I was carted off to the next table trying to process Paul and his train of thought. Was it really even worth trying? We were obviously not the same person no matter how much we looked alike.

From across the table, I saw the other sloth now opposite me and groaned out loud. It was Penelope, the female sloth that had been hounding me for years. She was pretty to look at, in a sloth kind of way. Her hair was sloth brown and cut right above her shoulders, her face was round with a pointed nose and brown eyes that were so common. Essentially she looked like every female sloth because they all looked the same. I’d seen this movie about a town of robotic lookalike wives and I had to almost admit that it highly resembled sloth females. What set Penelope apart was that she was from a well-off family with a lot of status in the sloth world and a lot even among the predators - which was saying something. Why did it have to be her? What cruel deity hated me so much today?

Penelope’s eyes sparkled with excitement as she batted her eyelashes slowly in my direction. I sighed dramatically. Nothing had changed with her, she still thought I was a bad boy sloth and I guess in theory I was, but that's beside the point. Why had I agreed to this? It wasn’t like my mother was going to get anywhere with me. Even without the confusing wolf mess, I found myself currently dealing with I had no intention of ever being with another sloth. No sloth could understand how it felt to be trapped in my body, my mind always racing where my body could not keep up. If I tried to speak my thoughts any faster I would most definitely lose…

“Oh… ……..Larry….. …….you…….. ……...look………. ………...so……….. ……….rugged……….. ……….today,” Penelope said.

I waited her out because she was a lady and regardless of how much I hated sitting through sloth talk I would not interrupt her, but - and this is a little hypocritical of me - I wasn’t above some other tactics.

Her mouth opened to say something else but I stopped her leaning across the table to put a finger to her lips, shaking my head slowly - of course. “Don’t…… …..you’ll…. …ruin…. ….the…. …..moment,” I said putting on my fake sexy voice, which sounded like I was trying to be Antonio the Spanish bull from those Spanish bull soap operas. I think I even added a Spanish accent. Oh well

Penelope’s eyes widened, her dainty nostrils flaring as she took in my scent. I was about to pull my hand away but I was too slow to escape her tongue as it licked the digit.

"Ewwww gross gross." I thought as I pulled my hand back and forced a smile. Great, I’d just made a female sloth horney. Could this get any worse?

“Excuse me, sir, this is a sloth exclusive event, I cannot let you…” I heard the host say as someone walked into the restaurant. There was a growl before the host made a huffing sound and apologized. What was going on? I thought. I didn’t really have time to ponder before a very familiar body was standing behind Penelope’s chair.

“Walker!” I said in surprise, it came out without hesitation. Why was he here?

Penelope gasped and the whole room fell silent as they stared at the wolf who had invaded the sloth gathering.

“Apparently I can hear your thoughts….no matter how far you get,” he chuckled. “And baby you couldn’t sit through five more hours of this shit.”

“He can hear me still?” I wasn’t sure I was happy about that or just plain freaked out.

“I have to say I’m pretty happy about it,” Walker grinned mischievously, his yellow eyes blazing with heat.

“Excuse…………

……..me………..

……..who………..

……...are………..

……you?” My mother asked as she finally made her way over to the table her face set into a confused mask. I couldn’t really blame her, wasn’t very often sloths associated with predators. Well, she wouldn’t be too happy to find out he was now my lover, and with the whole mind reading thing probably a permanent one.”

“Oh, I’m permanent, alright,” Walker said in response to my thoughts.

“Can you hear everything I think?” I asked him, my heart pounding as I realized everyone was looking at the sexy wolf and I. He was sexy with his dark jeans, simple grey tee and his long dirty blonde hair - which I hadn’t had time to truly appreciate - was tied up in a top knot on his head. God he is sexy, I want to touch him again, take that hair down and hold onto it while he f— ughhh focus Larry!” Yeah, I didn’t mind in the slightest if he got me out of this mingle and back into his bed. “Mom…. ….this…. …..is… ….Walker…. …..he’s…. ….my……” I trailed off letting the slow pattern seem like I was just mid-sentence when really I was trying to figure out what to call him. “Is he my lover? My stalker? My mate? All of the above?”

“I’m his mate ma’am, it’s nice to meet you,” Walker said to my mother with a million watt smile.

For a second there wasn’t a reaction, and then her eyes slowly widened to comical proportions. “This isn’t good.” I thought right before my mother's eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out on the expensive carpet.

Copyright © 2018 Pmsingtiger; All Rights Reserved.
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Chapter Comments

This put a smile on my face! Awesome stuff, relatable and heartwarming. 😂

 

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Poor Larry. That mingle sounded like pure torture.   I can now picture Paul “hurrying” to his mothers side.  

.............mother...............

..............are...............

...............you..............

..............alright?????

two questions that are unresolved. Who is Craig in the sloth community?  And what happened to Larry in the past with talking fast?  Thanks for the chapter and wanting more please. 

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7 hours ago, Wesley8890 said:

Ok got to ask, did she pass out in slow motion?? Please tell me she did!!

Craig........

....Is.........

....A........

....Pompous....

....Ass.....

....Hole..

Yay I speak sloth now

Of course she did 😂😂

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Oh! I'm going nuts from the sloth speak! So frustrating! I can totally feel Larry's inner itch to go faster. And I guess the cat, or rather wolf, is out of the bag... His mother better learn how to deal with it. 

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I’m loving these two together! Larry is so fun. I can’t wait for him to learn to love himself and Walker at the same time. 

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