Ralph: Breaking free - 23. An old friend and catching up

Ralph had really not expected anything to happen, and certainly not quickly. After all, there was no guarantee that Gordon would want to meet up at all. But Russ Kahn seemed to be a man of action, and he’d responded to Ralph’s message at 1am (!) saying that he had forwarded it on to Gordon. By breakfast, Ralph had had a message from Gordon and now here he was walking over to meet the man for lunch. And there was no doubting who he was meeting. They had instantly recognised each other, then simply sat, and stared at each other, for slightly too long a silence.

Ralph rubbed his hands nervously on his thighs, “I can hardly say you’ve not changed.”

Gordon gave a nervous laugh, “Should bloody hope so.”

He was recognisable, Ralph could see the teenage boy beneath the more mature man. Somewhat burlier and blockier, with a bit less hair, but still lithe and trim.

“How did you manage to track me down?”

“Didn’t Russ Kahn say?”

“Russ? No. Just a message that he’d met you.”

“Well, I didn’t track you down. It was your Dad’s pictures. I recognised his name, remembered your Dad was a painter. Like to think I recognised the style, but I also figured there couldn’t be two of that name.”

“Which pictures?”

“In the foyer of Russ Kahn’s offices.”

“Bloody hell, the big orange pictures.”

Ralph smiled at the description, “Yeah.”

“I came home on leave from the Army and Dad was painting them. Mum was furious, they weren’t a commission and were too ruddy big to sell easily. He had some fancy name but to me they were just the big orange pictures.” He came to a halt, “Sorry, I’m rambling. I wanted to apologise.”

Ralph was startled, “You. Apologise?”

“Well, yeah. I should have done more. After, like. Those six months were fun and”, he shrugged, “after I should have made an effort to talk.”

“I saw you earlier this year.”

“Yeah.”

“But I had the girls with me, my daughters. But I wanted to come and apologise too.”

“What for?”

“Going into hiding and pretending.”

“Your parents?”

Ralph pulled a face, “Still refer to you as ‘that boy’”.

Gordon rolled his eyes, “Hell. They still like that?”

“Yeah. Yours?”

“Not much change there, either.” He grinned, “Dad’s still painting, and Mum does stuff too. That’s how we got friendly with Russ. We knew him through Ares, because both Brian, my husband, and I work for them, but then Russ bought a whole load of Dad’s pictures.”

“The big ones.”

“Lots of them. Mum was real pleased to get rid of them, and Russ chose them because he liked them. He didn’t know at the time the painter was my Dad”, he paused. “Rambling again. Look. I was angry. For a long time. But Brian helped me understand.”

“Your husband?”

“Yeah. We met working in the Emirate doing security. Both ex-Army. Brian had an on-off girlfriend and a son. He wasn’t ready to admit to being gay or even bi.”

“And now?”

Gordon smiled, “We got it together. Then we came home, he moved in, and his son lives with us.”

“Just like that?”

“Thought it would never happen. Brian took a long time to deal with the idea.”

“Of liking blokes. Like me. I pretended for a long time.”

“Now?”

“Divorced last year. Not because I like blokes, we just fell apart. I have the twins each weekend.”

“Age?”

“Nine, nearly ten.”

Gordon nodded, “Brian’s son Toby is 15.”

“I wouldn’t have been without them.”

“Difficult isn’t it. Brian’s ex-girlfriend, Toby’s Mother, is hell on wheels, still. But he doesn’t regret it, because of Toby. You the same?”

“I love having them around. Though it’s a bit of a squeeze, now that my boyfriend Nolan is staying.”

That meant explaining. They’d just met at a coffee shop, and lunch had been a sandwich, but they had a second round of drinks and Ralph explained how Nolan’s firm was struggling from the embezzlement and how it had come in the middle of their burgeoning relationship.

They chatted some more, but beyond the events of 16 years ago, Ralph thought that there was little in common. And it seemed they had both been carrying around some sort of anxiety about not having done enough at the time of the split. As Gordon had said, ‘Typical teenage boys, really. Holding it all in and not daring to do anything’.

But Gordon also thought they had more in common, “It’s funny. There’s you, a disappointment to your parents, not becoming a hot-shot lawyer with a glamorous wife, and instead disappearing down your interweb rabbit-hole. And there’s me, bewildering my hippy-ish arty parents by insisting on joining the cadets at the new school, and then going into the Army.”

“When you put it like that. And you hooking up with a late developer.”

“So, you see”, Gordon smiled, “I reckon we should get together, the seven of us?”

“Seven?”

“You and me, our blokes and the kids.”

Ralph frowned, “I doubt your husband’s 15-year-old will be keen to play with the twins.”

Gordon shrugged, “If we met at my parents’ place there’d be space for them to do their own thing. Toby will likely disappear into the orchard.”

“Where do your parents live now?”

“An old mill near Stevenham, plenty of space for studios and ramshackle as hell. Plus, an orchard which Toby loves.”

“Orchard as in trees?”

“Yeah. He’s into ecology and growing stuff. Mum and Dad let him build a couple of bug hotels there.”

Ralph shook his head, then smiled, “Well, if there are trees, the twins will love it. Climbing’s their thing.”

Gordon grinned back, “Perfect.”

“Your parents wouldn’t mind?”

Gordon stared at him, “Mum and Dad have weathered me going into the Army, then spending five years in the Emirate, never bringing a bloke home or anything, then in short order I acquire a regular boyfriend and a stepson, and a whole raft of new friends. They remain themselves, and as long as I’m happy, they welcome all comers.”

“Lucky sod. Wish mine were like that.”

“They know?”

“That I like blokes? Sort of. I came out to them by accident, but we’ve not spoken much since. “

The conversation gradually ground to a halt; information exchanged. Each man had become somewhat more comfortable with the past, and as Gordon had said, they had quite a lot in common despite appearances. As for meeting up again, they left it open, but the idea was there.

---

Beth had a meeting all afternoon and Ivor was tied up with a new project, so Ralph tried to put Gordon on the back burner and concentrate on work. By the time Nolan got back, later on Monday evening, however, Ralph was dying to tell someone.

“I had lunch with Gordon today.”

Nolan looked up, surprised, “Gay Gordon from all those years ago?”

“The same.”

“He actually agreed and turned up?”

Ralph smiled, “Yes. And looks as I remembered him.”

“What 17 and cute?”

Ralph rolled his eyes, “No. An older version thereof, and definitely the guy I saw earlier this year.”

“And?”

“Well. It was a bit strange. We don’t have that much in common.”

“Now?”

“Yeah, but, funny thing is that we were both keen to apologise.”

“Him too?”

“We both felt guilty at hiding away, in different ways. Typical teenagers.”

“Pretend it didn’t happen.”

“Mmm. So, we chatted, agreed that we were both beyond what happened.”

“No sense in constantly looking back.”

“However, we have more in common than it seems at first sight. We both did things our parents didn’t expect. He went into the Army then security, which his hippy artist parents weren’t keen on.”

“Does he get on with them?”

“Yep. Unlike mine”, Ralph gave a rueful smile, “his accept him for what he is. Evidently, he and his husband Brian and Brian’s teenage son go round to Gordon’s parents’ place a lot.”

“Not like yours.”

“Not a bit. And, the husband, Brian, was a very late developer. Took them a few years marooned in the Emirate for them to get together.”

“And the ex-wife?”

“Is hell on wheels, whatever that means. But the son lives permanently with his Dad.”

“So, something to start from? Or a chapter behind you?”

Ralph shrugged, “Not sure. I thought it’d be a chapter behind me, but he suggested meeting again.”

“The two of you?” Nolan looked startled.

“No, the seven of us.”

“Seven?”

Ralph laughed, “My words exactly, you and me, him and Brian, the twins and Brian’s son.”

Nolan pulled a face, “Really. Is that going to work, after all teenage boys are not usually keen to play with nine-year-old girls?”

Ralph frowned, “Says it will. If we go to Gordon’s parent’s place, an old mill near Stevenham, both parents have studio space and there’s an orchard where the boy does stuff, ecology and that, bug hotels.”

“Somewhere for the girls to climb?”

“Providing the weather was good.”

Nolan nodded, “Figures. See what happens. Give it a few weeks and then maybe get back in contact.”

“Nothing too eager?”

“That’s what I reckon.”

“You’re probably right. But.”

“What?”

“It feels a hell of a lot better.”

“Having met him and talked about it?”

“Yeah. At last.”