Malcolm and the Rent Boy - 5. Chapter 5 'Boys Will Be Boys'

MALCOLM ‘Boys will be Boys’

Dave Heinz was one of Malcolm’s friends from university days, and they’d kept in touch ever since. Their relationship was the attraction of opposites; Malcolm had achieved little, Dave had done great things, and claimed to have circumnavigated the globe several times. But now Dave was coming home, retiring to his native Yorkshire, and he felt it was high time he paid his old friend a visit.

When his guest arrived and parked up Malcolm couldn’t contain his excitement and ran out to meet him. Dave had certainly changed. He still looked physically fit, a legacy of all the running, cycling and working out he’d done over the years, but his heavily tanned face showed that, although his body looked like it had seen 55 summers, his face had seen 95 winters, and bad ones too! No, the years had not been kind. He was very gaunt, with deep sunken eyes and a rather skeletal appearance. But Malcolm stopped staring, embraced his old friend enthusiastically, and led him indoors.

‘I remembered you only drink coffee’ he gushed, setting down a tray.

Dave took a seat then picked up a cup of dishwater-coloured liquid and took a sip. He gave a ghoulish smile, like the brass plate on a coffin lid,

‘A man after my own heart, do you know this reminds me of my trip to Guatemala last spring. I was spending the night with some of the natives. Of course I’m fluent in Spanish, but when I knew I was visiting Central America I took a course on native Indian tribes’ patois and so I was able to converse fluently with everyone I met...’

Malcolm beamed in admiration. Dave went on,

‘So I asked them for some coffee. The chief explained that they’d just run out and the nearest Walmart was 3,600 miles away, but he was able to distil some of the elder tribesmen’s body fluids, and blend them with the coca bean and the result was remarkably similar to this’

‘I’m pleased you like it’ simpered Malcolm, and, putting down his own cup - which he’d rightly judged undrinkable - he continued,

‘So what are you doing these days?’

‘Well I’m looking for someplace to retire to. Not like this, of course’ he added, with a dismissive wave around Malcolm’s house, ‘I’m in the market for old rectories, manor houses, that sort of thing’

Malcolm, a bit snubbed, could add nothing so he pushed a plate of rice cake towards his guest.

‘I can’t eat that’ Dave responded, studying the fossilised cake. Up till that moment he’d believed there was nothing older in the room than Malcolm and he.

‘Now what have you planned for this afternoon?’

Malcolm produced a handful of leaflets and recited a litany of gruelling venues ranging from walled herb gardens to dolls’ house exhibitions, but Mr Heinz wasn’t listening.

‘I’ve packed my Speedos. I thought we might look in at the sauna’

And so the sauna it was.

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‘Scream in the Steam’ was the newest gay sauna in town. When Malcolm and Dave Heinz got there it was two in the afternoon and things were a bit quiet. The door was answered by a fey creature in a kimono whose saccharine smile vanished when he saw two men there whose combined age was more than seven times his own.

‘Are you sure you’ve got the right place?’

‘Of course, and I’m introducing a guest who goes free’ sneered Mr Heinz.

‘Well it’s pretty quiet today’ suggested the attendant, desperately racking his brains for reasons to turn the two oldsters away. But Dave Heinz had a hide that was tougher than an armadillo.

‘You just concentrate on seeing that the ambient temperature is at least seventy, the towels are warm, the Jacuzzi clean, and there’s plenty of steam in the steam room. And why are you wearing that ridiculous kimono? You should be attired in something that meets Health and Safety requirements and allows you to scrub floors!’

Malcolm was impressed. My, how forceful Dave Heinz was, and how he wished he could be the same!

Silently, the young attendant handed them towels and locker keys and resumed manicuring his nails. The coffin-dodgers made their way into the steamy depths, Malcolm, needy as ever, clinging to his friend as they investigated ‘Scream in the Steam’. But after just ten minutes together Mr Heinz was becoming weary of his timid friend.

‘Look, I’m going in the sauna cabin, taking it as hot as possible then diving into the icy splash pool when I’m done. I doubt your old ticker could stand any of that so why don’t you find something else to do?’

Malcolm wandered off, feeling a bit rejected.

It was then that he saw the bouncer of Club Carnivore laid out on a marble bench with just a towel for cover. It had become the habit of the Club’s bouncer, Calvin to pass his afternoons in the new sauna. Formerly his routine had been to visit the gym, lunch on enough red meat to keep an African village for a month, and sleep it off. And this Mike Tyson-lookalike didn’t like being disturbed!

Malcolm was riveted. ‘That towel’s got to come off some time’ he mused.

And nurturing that thought he sat down a matter of a few yards from the doorman and began his lonely vigil.

‘Yes’ he said to himself. ’That towel’s coming off or my name’s not Malcolm Tripp’

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Rupert Baggett-Scrope put down his mobile and took another gulp of coffee. He knew he ought to be somewhere other than Starbucks but frankly he couldn’t care. Rupert was an orphan, and the ward of his aunt Felicity Scrope. His upbringing had been one of privilege and he’d never gone short of anything. But he could never remember wanting anything badly either. It was odd being so ambivalent to everything.

He realised his formidable aunt was busy trying to pair him up with Cressida, the daughter of her best friend. And Rupert had met Cressida loads of times. But he had felt nothing. Biologically, you could say that she had all the right parts in the right places, but the final result didn’t cut it. After all, a Renault Mégane might get you from A to B but who’d ride in one if they could have a Porsche instead?

He’d met Colin Blenkinsop just once, at the club. But that had been enough to ensure they’d meet again. Was it the right thing? He didn’t know. Colin was sorted, knew his own mind and was making his way in the world, albeit by selling his body. Rupert was far less certain. He was no stranger to juvenile cock play, having for years attended boys only boarding schools, but this was different, it was adult. He’d just made another date to meet a man, a young one admittedly, but in every sense a real man.

Just then Colin breezed in, looking impossibly cute.

‘Coffee?’ asked Rupert, limply.

‘I’m good’ replied Colin, smiling broadly.

He sat down beside Rupert.

‘Guess what, you know I can use the sauna weekday afternoons. All the employees at the club can. Well, they’ve told me they don’t mind me taking a guest when it’s quiet. C’mon. It’ll be a laugh’

That’s all it took. The normally resolute Rupert could stand up to anyone, even his martinet of an aunt, but when he was in Colin’s company he was a follower.

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In the sauna things had got no busier. And when the bell rang the attendant, Lorimar hurried to the door, relieved to find that the customers were Colin and his new friend.

‘Come in! God I hope you guys are staying’ he lisped

‘Hi, Lorimar, how are you?’

‘Good, but it’s like a zombie movie in here. Calvin’s in, as usual but there are two other ancient guys who look like death’

The boys laughed and went to the counter where they were given their towels and keys. They changed then headed for the steam room, Lorimar looking enviously after them as they went. But the attendant’s thoughts were rudely interrupted. Dave Heinz walked up to him,

‘You have a funny way of running this place, you’re never at the reception. Now you’re here perhaps you can tell me where I can get a massage.’

Lorimar was just about to tell him he couldn’t when a voice boomed out,

‘I can give you one’

Dave Heinz spun round and there was the bouncer Calvin filling the doorway.

‘You can massage me?’

‘Yes’

‘Do you do it with hot stones’ Dave added, looking the muscular, black man up and down.

‘I’ve never had any complaints so far’

Dave Heinz picked up a fresh towel and headed for the ‘treatment room’

Calvin meanwhile turned to Lorimar and silently mouthed the words,

‘Hot stones? What the fuck’s he talking about?’

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While all this was going on Colin and Rupert took possession of the one and only steam room. They moved to the far end and sat side by side on a bench of wooden slats. It was all new to Rupert but Colin quickly acquainted his friend with the modus operandi.

‘The bench is rather hot’ said Rupert.

‘That’s why you do this’ replied Colin, taking off his towel and folding it to make an improvised cushion to sit on. He was now naked. Rupert did likewise then laid his head back against the wall and relaxed. He felt comfortable and in control. Colin’s hot, wet body pressed gently against his as the steam condensed and ran down their bodies in tiny rivulets.

Earlier, when Colin’s towel had come off, Rupert had glimpsed in a second just why his friend was so popular at the Carnivore Club. Colin was smaller than he, about 5’ 10’’, but his body was exactly proportionate, fair skinned and toned. His cropped hair was dark and a perfect match for those mesmerising hazel eyes. Rupert had been on the point of asking Colin how he got his eyebrows so perfect, but he was prevented by stuffy English reserve and a feeling that he’d sound gay. Rupert was highly intelligent and confident, but Colin appeared to have everything he didn’t, and the young aristocratic and privileged man knew that, for the moment at least, he was on one of the steepest learning curves he’d ever encounter.

Initially, Rupert was embarrassed by his hard on and had even tried to kill it off by thinking about Cressida naked. But a more powerful force was at work. Colin’s penis was nothing short of magnificent and Rupert could not take his eyes off it. Both young men had hardened rapidly and their foreskins had slid back unassisted. In Colin’s case this revealed a glorious head large enough to fill a small teacup. Rupert knew that, though they were both 18 Colin had developed much more fully than he.

Colin, almost reading the other’s mind took Rupert’s left hand and drew his arm around his own shoulders. Their lips were now inches apart. Wild and silly things flooded through Rupert’s mind. What’s it like to kiss a guy? Will that stubble feel rough? Is my breath fresh? What do I do with my tongue? But he had no time to dwell on any of this. Colin held him close and began to kiss him intensely.

Rupert’s cock was so hard it was aching. But his body language showed he was still awkward; he was holding onto the bench with his right hand. Colin grabbed the free hand and put it on the shaft of his own massive erection. As an adult Rupert had never held any penis other than his own and his fingertips relayed in a nanosecond the exquisite discovery that they couldn’t quite reach around this one. Colin continued to kiss him, taking him wordlessly through the techniques he’d need to know.

The rent boy then detached himself gently and knelt down in front of Rupert, parting his legs. Saying nothing, he smiled up, looking beautiful beyond words.

He grasped Rupert’s shaft, near the base with one hand, forcing his balls down, and the remainder with the other hand, just leaving the head clear. Squeezing tightly, he made the glans swell and rise up.

‘My God, yours needs two hands!’ he grinned.

Rupert sensed the silliness of this and he smiled too, but he felt a million dollars all the same. No, make that a billion dollars! No, it’s not about money at all. He was just seconds away from something that was better than all the money in the world.

‘We’re all alone in here’ added Colin, eyes twinkling.

And he wasalmost right.