Malcolm and the Rent Boy - 7. Chapter 7 'A Boy's Best Friend'

Malcolm ‘A Boy’s Best Friend’

Colin remained pretty cool as they drove into the courtyard of Baggett Manor. Rupert parked up and jumped from the Range Rover.

‘Where’s your aunt today?’ Colin asked

‘Oh she’s up in Northumberland for a few days, shooting pheasants and slaying wildlife generally’

Colin detected that Rupert was scoffing at his aunt but he wasn’t wasting too much emotion on the animals either.

They entered the house through a heavy ancient door into an intensely dark hall. Colin had never seen so much wood. Dark stained oak covered the walls and ceilings. He shuddered. This place gave him the creeps.

‘Follow me’ said Rupert as he led Colin into the kitchen. The large room had a floor of stone flags, an Inglenook fireplace and an Aga stove, exactly as Colin had seen in the glossy magazines.

Rupert went to the fridge and took out two bottles of beer.

‘Here’ he called, throwing one at Colin, who just caught it.

Colin hated that. It reminded him of school where he’d been called a girl because he couldn’t catch or throw ‘properly’. But at least he’d caught this bottle, even if it was well shaken up!

‘Come on, sexy. My room’s a lot more comfortable’

Together they climbed the central stairs, and walked along an impossibly long hallway till they reached the end. There before them was a large well-lit room.

Colin entered and walked straight over to a window that gave an amazing view of the gardens and the dale beyond. He ached to tell Rupert what a lucky bastard he was, but kept quiet. The young Mr Baggett-Scrope flopped down onto his king size bed and rummaged in his bedside drawer for a bottle opener. He looked at Colin, and patted the bed beside him, signalling Colin to join him there.

Colin did. Taking the bottle opener from Rupert he opened his own bottle. Immediately a gush of honey-coloured foam spurted from the neck, and over his fingers. Rupert didn’t bat an eyelid.

‘You gonna make me do that soon?’ he asked, with a rather silly look on his face.

‘You’re pretty much up for it all the time, aren’t you?’ added Colin wearily.

‘Who wouldn’t be with you, Sexy Eyes? You know you’re hot. Otherwise you wouldn’t be online selling your services’

Colin coloured.

‘Yeah, well some of us have to work for a living. You’re pissing around on your gap year having a good time, then next year you’ll just sign up for Oxford and spend another three years doing bollocks all, all paid for by God knows who’

Rupert was unfazed.

‘Sorry. What did I say? Whatever it was, sorry. And yes, I fancy you like crazy, who wouldn’t? This is a big deal for me. I’m officially ‘straight’, he added, drawing inverted commas in the air. ‘I’m pencilled in for this girl who looks like Hell. They’re trying to marry us off. How’d you like that?

Colin wouldn’t. But he’d paid the price for coming out so early in his life and marrying someone he didn’t love was never going to be a problem. And the best relationship he still had was with his mother who had always supported him and whom he adored. She’d once told him that fathers want their kids to make them proud, but mothers want their sons to be happy. Of course she was proud of Colin as well, but above all she prayed for his happiness.

He turned away, and picked up a picture that sat by his side of the bed. It was faded now but showed a young couple posing in front of a yellow Jaguar E-Type. He held it closer.

‘Who’s this?’

‘My mother and father’

‘Oh, I see’

‘I doubt that’

‘What do you mean?’

‘That you ‘see’. They were killed when I was four. I know nothing about them so how can you?’

Colin sighed.

‘OK, but maybe I want to know. How did they die?

‘My father was mad about cars. He raced his E-Type in the Monte Carlo. They were in the rally one year, South of France, somewhere in the mountains I guess. Freak rainstorm made the road treacherous and he lost control’

All this was said with a total lack of emotion.

Colin read the print at the foot of the photo,

‘Major Rory Baggett and his wife Clarissa’

Rupert said nothing. Colin put down the picture.

‘Your Mum looks nice, fabulous auburn hair. That’s where you get it from’

‘So you like my hair?’

Colin spluttered into his beer, in mock derision,

‘It’s not your best feature’

Rupert suddenly looked awkward.

‘No, you’re right. I hate it. But my aunt likes it this way. She says cropped hair is chavvy and reminds her of all the low lives she sends to prison each day’

‘Does she?’ asked Colin, thinking ‘cheeky bitch’

Rupert continued,

‘I did get myself some clippers but never got round to doing anything. Anyway, I don’t think I have the right head shape for a crop’

‘Yes you do. I’ll clip your hair for you’

‘Can you do it?’

‘Yeah, it’s dead easy. I cut my own so I can do yours. Trust me it’ll look better than it does now’

‘OK’ said Rupert, rather languidly; he got up, walked into his en-suite and returned with the electric clippers.

‘Oh, aren’t these the dogs’ bollocks?’ said Colin in a mock-posh accent.

The clippers were new and packed in a box with all the attachments.

‘Do I have to get undressed first?’ asked Rupert, with a twinkle in his eye.

‘NO! Just take off your top’

Rupert sat quietly in the chair as Colin sifted through and selected the appropriate clipper guards.

‘I think four on top and I’ll give you one on the back and sides’

‘You can give me one anywhere and anytime you like’

Colin didn’t reply but did stifle a laugh. As he went to work a pile of orange curls built up around the chair. And he performed this task as he did everything, not perfectly, but showing that it mattered to him to do the best he could. The transformation was complete, and so powerful that even the űber-confident Rupert was shaken. And he studied it carefully in the mirror,

‘I like it. My God, yes, I really like it. Come here, you’

And he grabbed Colin and gave him a kiss. It was the least he could do.

Colin watched him as he pranced around the room checking out his new haircut: he wasn’t bad looking really.

‘I’ll just clean this hair up’ said Colin picking up the insanely orange clippings.

‘No need. We’ve a cleaner for that’

Colin glared at him, what a spoilt brat Rupert was. He then busied himself clearing up the mess and putting away the clippers. When he’d finished he returned from the bathroom resolved to leave. He really didn’t need this.

But Rupert grabbed him, pulled him over to the bed and threw him on his back. The freshly-shorn young man climbed over him and held his wrists down, almost uncomfortably.

Rupert leaned over and started to kiss Colin. Then he released his grip but gently laid his full body weight on the rent boy. The kissing continued, on Colin’s lips, on his neck, on his head, and he was secretly enjoying it. Rupert stopped and looked right into his eyes,

‘Thanks for the haircut. It really is great. I love it. My God, is there anything you’re not good at? I’m pleased you agreed to come out here. I get so lonely. I bet that never happens to you. You’ll know loads of guys’

Colin made a mental note that most of the men he knew were older than he, often considerably!

Rupert rolled off Colin’s body and drew his head close.

‘Please stay Col. Pleeeeease!’

Colin said nothing. He grabbed Rupert and pulled him on top again then closed his eyes.

‘Shut up and kiss me’

And Rupert did just that. It was not perfect but for Colin it was the most loved-up he’d felt in a long time. He’d stay.

----------------------------------------------

It was dark. Rupert and Colin had fallen asleep in each other’s arms. Without warning a bell sounded and a picture appeared on the bedroom TV screen showing the drive and gateway.

Rupert shot bolt upright and rubbed his eyes.

‘Oh God!’

Colin, groggy with sleep raised himself up and looked around. He really didn’t remember where he was.

‘Shit, shit, SHIT! She’s back. It’s my aunt. God, I wasn’t expecting her till tomorrow’

‘Maybe she wiped out all the birdlife in the North East so there was nothing to stay on for’ Colin mused.

‘Colin! It’s not funny. I’m dead. She’ll kill me, honestly, you have no idea’

Colin did, he’d been in no end of awkward positions himself, mainly with married men, and had had to make many inventive exits in his time, so this seemed quite tame.

‘Well just tell her I’m a friend’

But Rupert had left the room and was staring through a small casement window into the courtyard which, moments earlier had been pitch black but now was flooded with light.

Colin joined Rupert at the window. Two vehicles entered the yard and stopped by the coach house. Freddy Scrope got out of the Land Rover and opened the rear door; the spaniels jumped out and began to caper around the yard in delirious joy.

‘Well what happens now?’ asked Colin.

‘They’ll have to hang all the birds and game up in the store. It’ll take a while. And she’ll watch them, every step of the way, trust me’

Rupert turned to Colin,

‘Look Col, go back to my room. It’s miles from hers and she never goes around that side of the house. Put the telly on so there’s a bit of noise. I’ll tell her I want an early night and I’ll join you as soon as I can’

None of this appealed to Colin but there wasn’t a lot he could do, he was stuck. So he returned to the room, turned on the TV, picked up the remote and started flicking through the channels.

Rupert went downstairs. He watched as his aunt supervised the unloading and storage of the birds, waved off the drivers, kennelled the dogs then locked up. Finally, carrying her disarmed shotgun she walked towards the house and into the kitchen.

Rupert was shaking as he heard the heavy door close behind her. Then she saw him,

‘What in the name of God have you done to your hair? Who did that?’

‘I, I got in cut in town this afternoon’

‘It looks repulsive, vile! You’ll be satisfied now you look like all that dross from Edenfield. And why weren’t you at the shop today?’

‘I had some things to do’

‘Things! Like what?’

‘Well I have got a life, outside of here’

Freddy Scrope had been steadily moving ever closer to the boy who was backed into a corner. Her eyes were narrowing with loathing as she scanned her nephew up and down.

‘What life? You’d have nothing if it wasn’t handed to you’

‘That’s hardly my fault, is it?’ he added tremulously,

Then his aunt sprang at him and, taking her right hand slapped Rupert hard across the face. The boy fell back, cowering like an animal. She turned and walked to the gun cupboard and unlocked it.

But his predicament had not gone unnoticed. Upstairs, Colin had been watching everything. The television in Rupert’s room also relayed the security system’s signal from all nine cameras including the one in the kitchen. Colin had been flicking between these. He’d watched the gamekeepers leave, he’d seen Freddy put the dogs away, watched her enter the kitchen. Colin couldn’t believe she’d strike her own nephew. Wasn’t she supposed to be a magistrate, and uphold the law? He couldn’t stand this any longer and hurried down to the kitchen.

‘Are you OK, Rupert?’

‘Who the Hell are you?’ screamed Freddy, spinning round.

‘That’s not important, but he’s my friend and I want to know he’s OK’

‘Not important? you little upstart, this is my house and you’re leaving’

Then she turned to Rupert, sneering,

‘I see where the hair comes from now’

Rupert was still cowering and clutching his face, which was red and stinging. Colin glanced at the table where Freddy had put down the car keys. There was just one chance. He grabbed them,

‘Come on Rupert, let’s get out of here. You don’t have to put up with this shit’

Freddy, head tilted back, pretended to be counting on her fingers.

‘Breaking and entering, trespass, criminal damage, and now taking without consent. Mmm? Should be able to put you away for many a long year’

‘Suit yourself, you fiendish old cow, but he doesn’t need to put up with this a minute longer’

Colin glanced at the shotgun that lay on the table. She smirked at him.

‘And that would be the icing on the cake, if you so much as touch that’

‘No, that’s more your style, you murderous old hag. We’re leaving here now and you’ll get your pathetic car back when he’s somewhere safe’

Slowly, Colin edged the terrified Rupert out of the room and towards the door. Colin was banking on the fact that Freddy would have made safe the gun and it was not loaded. He was right. They ran to the Range Rover, jumped in, and got out of Baggett Manor as fast as they could.

Rupert was subdued.

‘She’s never done anything like this before. I can’t believe it’

‘I’m pleased she’s your aunt rather than mine’

‘God, what a mess we’re in. Where are we going now?’

But for Colin, there was only one place he could go, only one person in all the world who would never turn him away, whatever he’d done.

His Mum.