Living in Surreality - 10. Chapter 10

chapter 10:
: edited by viv :

Jacob knew his mother was in Matt's house, he could here her muffled introduction to Matt's mother and the foot falls of the two as they walked down the short, tiled hall to the family room where he and Matt sat. Still, he waited for her to walk into the room, seeing the worry lapping in his mothers' placid brown eyes, before attempting to pull his sweaty palm from Matt's grasp.

Matt firmed his grip, halting the attempted retreat of Jacob's hand as he answered the look of confused bewilderment on Jacob's face with a gentle smile and a small nod of his head. The silent encouragement was not lost on either mother as they stood watching the communication between their sons. Joanne's heart fluttered at the sight, at the possibility of Jacob's happiness. Viola felt a similar pang in the depths of her chest, and regret, knowing just how little she knew her son.

"Would you like a drink," Viola asked, turning her attention away from the couple who sat on her couch to Joanne.

Joanne nodded absently in response to the question, her eyes not wanting to leave the embarrassed flush that had crept across her son's cheeks. Heeding Viola's offer, Joanne backed up two paces before turning and following Matt's mother into the adjoining kitchen. Viola was already busying herself by grabbing two goblets and a bottle of red wine as Joanne entered the immaculate kitchen.

The calm resolve Viola had spent years perfecting slowly began to dissolve as she rummaged through three different drawers searching for the corkscrew she found in the final drawer. Closing the drawer with a thud, Viola paced the small space between the drawer and the white countertop where the wine bottle sat waiting on her impatiently. Joanne watched with growing concern, as Viola slammed the metallic utensil into the bottle and began twisting the corkscrew with as much gusto as a five year old at a candy vending machine.

The corks' strangle on the bottle of red was released with an audible pop as Viola threw the corkscrew on the counter in frustration. She stared at the green bottle, longing for the escape the burgundy liquid promised from this new problem, already she could feel the sour tinge of the dry wine playing at the corners of her mouth.

Resigning herself, Viola grasped the bottle with a shaky hand and turned it on end. Watching the red liquid contrast against the white porcelain as the liquid sloshed and swirled down the kitchen sink, taking only a fleeting taste of her weakness on the air.

Viola let the wine bottle slip from her grasp and fall with a clanging thump into the sink she used to support herself. Joanne watched the scene play out, unsure of how to react to the display of desperation.

"Mom," Matt asked, hovering close to the sliver of plaster wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. His face a mixture of concern and something else Joanne couldn't quite place as she abruptly stood.

"She'll be alright hun," Joanne comforted, rounding her palm down Matt's chin. Her eyes locking on those of her son as he walked up behind Matt. "Jacob," she spoke, her voice firm and gentle, "Why don't you take Matt somewhere else right now," Joanne suggested.

"No," Matt stated, his tone unwavering.

Joanne's brow knotted momentarily, seeing way too much of her obstinate son in the determined youth who stood ready to protect his mother. "Matthew," Joanne's voice held an authoritative edge that only a mother could produce convincingly, "go sit on the couch, we'll be out shortly."

Joanne left no room for the argument welling in Matt's chest as she turned and headed towards his sobbing mother. Matt failed to realize the last words had been spoken, his body surging forward, ready to follow Joanne's footsteps. It was Jacob's hand, curling around the crest of Matt's shoulder that held him back. Matt turned a glare on the person he had been encouraging only moments earlier, a look Jacob simply answered with a light tug at Matt's shoulder, pulling him from the entrance to the kitchen.

"How could I have not known?" Viola sobbed, feeling the warmth of Joanne's hand on her shoulder blade. "I'm his mother, I should have known, or at least suspected," she continued staring at the bottle that was slowly rocking to and fro in the sink with disdain.

Not knowing how to answer, figuring Viola wasn't really looking for one anyhow, Joanne just rubbed her hand lightly across the smooth cream silk that covered her back, and the contrast of bone it sheathed.

"You knew," Viola continued, her eyes moving from the wine bottle as she twisted around, leaving Joanne's comforting hand to fall. "You looked happy for them," Viola said, wiping the tears from her eyes, "while I felt shame for not knowing my son."

"He's the same person he was yesterday," Joanne reassured, "its only big if you make it."

Viola nodded in agreement, "I just don't know what to make of it, it all seems so much to absorb. Richard leaving and, and I... we always thought Matt and Valerie would get married... grandkids..." Viola stuttered, her eyes tearing again.

Joanne didn't hesitate in grasping the wreckage in front of her in a tight hug. "Do you know for certain?" Joanne asked the side of Viola's head. "Could it be just a phase for Matt?" she asked selflessly, her heart breaking at the prospect, breaking vicariously for her son if such a thing were true.

Viola shook her head, convinced that was not the case.

"He's a good kid, Viola, respectful, smart, loyal... all good qualities in a young man. I'm sure you had no small part in shaping that," Joanne said, breaking the hug she had wrapped Viola in.

As much as Viola wanted to bare the skeletons in her closet and tell Joanne just what kind of mother she had been for the last several years, she couldn't, and instead, accepted the unwarranted adulation Joanne was so easily showering upon her.

"He's a good kid," Viola affirmed, with a nod of her head.

"He is," Joanne concluded, her voice reaching the tone of finality she had just used on Matt.

"Don't you have a TV or anything?" Jacob finally asked, thinking it would be a good distraction being unable to stand Matt's sullen demeanor, or the silence that had enveloped them after returning to the couch.

With a dramatic sigh and looking as displeased at the distraction as Jacob looked pleased with himself for thinking of it, Matt leaned forward and pressed a button on a sleek remote. A dull purr emanated from a whitewashed wooden cabinet which was topped with a silk floral arrangement. Jacob watched curiously as the arrangement and the table top it sat on slowly began rising, revealing a fifty-two inch flat panel TV.

"Whoa!" Jacob sounded, suppressing the urge to drool at the reveal of the hidden plasma display.

Matt wanted to be mad, for several reasons, but the moment the sound of sheer envy escaped Jacob's lips, he couldn't help the smile that spread to his, remembering he had made the same noise a year ago when it was first installed. Picking up the remote, Matt settled back into the couch, closer to Jacob then he was before. "So what do you wanna watch, MTV?" he asked, as his weight pressed into Jacob's side, pushing another button that made a programming menu display on the screen.

"MTV?" Jacob asked incredulously. "I don't want to watch some dumb show about spoiled rich kids..." Matt responded to Jacob's loaded pause by sticking his tongue out. "Don't you have Cartoon Network? Sponge Bob?" Jacob continued, ignoring the sight of Matt's tongue, figuring with moms being just a room away, now wasn't such a great time to go with the thought that raced through his mind.

"Sponge Bob?" Matt asked, sucking his tongue back into his mouth as his eyes widened. "It's never going to work for us..." Matt continued shaking his head with regret.

"What?" Jacob asked, feeling more relieved then burdened by Matt's apparent dislike of Sponge Bob.

"Us, this relationship, it just isn't going to work out," Matt explained, the corners of his lips turning up as he tried to act nonchalant while scrolling through the on screen menu.

Jacob's smile wasn't so small, "Who said I want a relationship?" Jacob asked, unable to hide the grin in his voice, "I just want a booty call..."

"Did you know about Jacob?" Viola asked the question she already knew the answer to, carrying two glasses of iced tea to the kitchen table where Joanne sat.

Joanne nodded her head as Viola set one of the glasses in front of her and claimed the seat to her right.

"Do you mind me asking how you found out?" she asked sitting down.

Joanne studied Viola as she took her seat, trying to figure out if she should comment on the struggle she had just witnessed. "Do you want me to say that he came running to me the second he figured it out? That I heard it from his lips?"

"Well..." Viola answered, stunned at the tone in Joanne' voice.

"He didn't. Despite the fact we have a close relationship, there are things my son hides from me too. Things he isn't comfortable with, and that make him feel ashamed," Joanne paused, her tone softening. "Was I hurt that I didn't hear it from him,? Yes, but it isn't about us or our feelings. It's about our children and the things we failed to prepare them for."

"I..." Viola stammered, feeling unfit. "I failed him, when Matt was younger, I tried to give him whatever he needed. Somewhere along the way, my needs outweighed his; I became less of the mother I should have been, and too consumed in my own feelings to be concerned with his," Viola finished, her eyes dropping from Joanne in shame.

Joanne, reaching across the table took Viola's hand in hers, "And still, despite your claims of failure, he still loves you very much."

Viola smiled through the moisture as she regarded Joanne for a moment before acquiescing to her statement. "So, he hid it from you? How did you find out?"

Joanne smiled, "You tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine?"

Viola laughed loudly, enjoying the feeling laughter brought to her chest. "You first," she pressed, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Joanne nodded and thought for a moment before she began talking. "You ever have one of those days, that while it was happening, you knew would change your life?" Joanne paused, taking a small drink. She almost wanted to laugh at the wane expression that paled Viola's face. "I got a phone call," Joanne began explaining, "Two weeks later, I was sitting in a council room where words like 'reckless' and 'self-endangering' where thrown at me, all of them used to describe Jacob, my baby..." Joanne paused, noticing the blank stare on Viola's face.

"I'm sorry," Viola apologized, shaking the lost look, realizing Joanne had stopped speaking. "I'm not following," she said grabbing hold of her glass and shaking it lightly.

Joanne gave a short laugh. "I'm sorry, I was explaining the second time I found out, which was the first time as far as Jacob is concerned," Joanne gave Viola a warning look.

Viola's brow rose questioningly while she sipped her tea.

"I should start at the beginning," Joanne admitted. "I first heard that Jacob," she paused looked for the right words, "liked boys... from my sister. He looked up to her, and I guess when he started having confusing feelings, he went to her," Joanne frowned with the memory, her hands idly rummaging the hem of a pale green placemat. "At first, I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe he would go to her with something that big before me. Then I thought it was a phase that would pass, an infatuation, so I ignored it," Joanne's frown deepened with that revelation, "and then I got the phone call."

"The phone call?" Viola questioned, enraptured with Joanne's experience, but not following.

Joanne gave Viola an embarrassed, smile, "Umm..." her eyes scanned the spotless kitchen nervously, wondering just how many of her sons skeletons she should bare, "I got a phone call from the school. Jacob and another boy had been caught... well... they had been caught in the locker room by a coach and a fellow student."

Viola looked at Joanne curiously for a moment, her eyes widening as realization dawned on her, "Oh... Oh dear..."

Joanne silently nodded her head to Viola's unspoken assumption. "Yeah," she confirmed.

"Richard would have had a fit," Viola chuckled, imagining the vein on her husband's forehead bursting with such news.

"Jacob and Cody, that was the other boy, were both suspended, and I had to meet with the school board. That pretty much forced me to face the things I had tried to avoid."

"I can imagine," Viola said, shaking her head lightly at Joanne's admission.

"The school board wanted Jacob to see a therapist, already had one talk to him the afternoon he was caught, while he sat in the office waiting for me to pick him up. The fact that they had my son checked by a shrink without my consent, and then demanded he see one regularly as a condition of his enrollment, well let's just say I told them where they could shove their therapist."

"They had your son seen by a therapist without your consent?" Viola said shocked and dismayed at the actions of the school administration.

"Yes," Joanne confirmed. "When I didn't agree, they booted him into a continuation school, it wasn't fair to him, but I wouldn't have a shrink telling him his 'confusion' was my fault for not having set up a proper home environment for Jacob to grow up in... Screw that," Joanne finished taking a long drink from her glass, "now how did you find out, I assume that happened this afternoon."

Viola nodded, "I didn't really see anything myself, just the aftermath. Richard had come to collect more of his belongings..."

"He's moving out?" Joanne interrupted.

"I threw him out, I thought it may have been a mistake, but his actions this morning only confirmed it wasn't," Viola confessed, feeling like an unruly child under the scrutinizing gaze Joanne leveled on her.

"Would you mind that?" Jacob asked, breaking the quiet that had enveloped Matt and him under the pretense of watching the animated show.

"Hrmm?" Matt asked, moving to look at Jacob even though his eyes remained glued to the images that played across the plasma screen. He was no more watching than Jacob was, lost in his own thoughts about what was going to happen when their mothers came out of the kitchen.

"Er... I ..." Jacob stumbled finding the topic almost impossible once Matt's gaze diverted from the screen and onto him. "The relationship thing, would you mind that or would you just go with..." Jacob looked away, hoping the words he heard escaping his lips weren't really a possibility, "really good friends..."

A slow smile grew on Matt's lips, starting first as a slight upturn of his lips, and spreading until it covered his whole face. "I've never been in a relationship before," Matt answered, his eyes sparkling, "and definitely not with a guy..."

Jacobs face dropped not liking the direction he assumed Matt's answer was going.

"But," Matt continued, ducking his head in effort to search out Jacob's eyes, "I kinda, sorta, already thought we were in one."

Jacob squinted, the grin on his face being so big, relief flooding through him, he leapt forward on the couch and pulled Matt into a tight hug, releasing the breath he had held captive the moment Matt opened his mouth to answer.

Matt wheezed under the pressure of Jacob's hug, laughing at the noise that had escaped his throat.

"HE WHAT?" Joanne screamed, standing abruptly, the chair she had been sitting in toppling backwards and crashing on the tile floor as she pushed the sleeves of her shirt up.

Jacob pulled back from the hug and stared into Matt's wide eyed shock as the sound of his mother's voice hit them like a freight train.

"I thought you said your mom knew?" Matt asked, attempting to swallow the sour taste of fear he felt rising in his throat.

"She does," Jacob answered, looking as confused with his mother's outburst ad Matt looked fearful.

"I'm going to kick his ass," Joanne continued in her angered tirade.

Jacob's eyes widened to match Matt's, "She's definitely not talking about us..."

Matt and Jacob's attention snapped to the passageway to the kitchen, watching as Joanne marched through, a determined scowl tarnishing her face, Viola right on her heels wielding a set of car keys and looking every bit as determined as her counterpart.

"Mom," Matt said shocked, that his mother wasn't scurrying behind Jacob's mother, trying to stop her.

Both women stopped, turning their attention to Matt and Jacob as they answered in unison, "What?"

Matt jumped back at that, "Where are you going?" he asked, his brow raised with concern.

Viola smiled patiently, "We're going to find your father sweetheart," she answered, thinking it was all too obvious.

"Mom," Matt continued, halting the women as they started towards the door.

"Yes," Viola turned and smiled, though this time she looked perturbed as well.

"What," Joanne growled, crossing her arms on her chest at the same time.

"Uh..." Matt stammered, "you have to stop doing that cause I'm getting confused."

"Its simple sweetheart," Viola explained, "Joanne here wants to have a few," she paused, choosing the best statement, "word's with your father," she finished.

Jacob began to snicker behind Matt, grabbing his attention for a quick moment, before he turned back to his 'Moms'. "Not that it's not totally obvious that she wants to kick Dad's ass," Matt pointed out.

"Matthew," Viola and Joanne admonished in unison.

Jacob fought to contain the laughter burning in his chest.

"It's just this answering to 'Mom' thing," Matt continued, soundly ignoring both Jacob's barely contained laughter, and the warning look he received from his 'Mothers' for using a curse.

"Oh," Viola answered looking conflicted for a moment. "We'll work on that," she offered with a promising smile, before turning towards the door.

Matt rolled his eyes and let out a small huff, "Mom."

"What," Viola turned, sounding agitated with her son's relentless interruptions.

Jacob gave in to the pain at his sides, letting the laughter roll wildly from his chest as he writhed on the couch.

"You wanted to talk with us," Matt stated, receiving a playful slap from Jacob for the effort.

"Oh," Viola said, her voice laden with disappointment. "Right," she continued looking at Joanne apologetically as she walked into the room and sat down.

"What did you do that for?" Matt asked Jacob accusingly.

"We were almost off the hook," Jacob answered through rolling snickers, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes.

"About that..." Viola began, watching as Joanne took a seat in the other wing backed chair that decorated the room. "I don't know where to start. This isn't the version of this talk I had planned on giving someday."

"Mom," Matt began, not wanting to sound rude, but knowing there was no way around it, "I had Sex Ed. three years ago in my freshmen health class."

"Oh," Viola answered, realizing that it was, perhaps, a little late to be having this talk, "right, I guess I am giving this speech a little late..."

"As long as you care enough to give it," Joanne chimed in, receiving a grateful smile from Viola.

"I had this long speech all planned out, the virtues of chastity, but I guess it's too late for that," Viola looked away feeling a sting of failure before her gaze swept between Matt and Jacob. "That doesn't mean I condone what happened here this afternoon."

Matt and Jacob recoiled under the force of Violas eyes, "But, I realize," Viola continued, glad that her words had instilled some sense of fear into their audience, "that your curious, and exploring aspects of your relationship is natural," Viola paused, looking first at Matt, then Jacob, expecting a reply to the comment.

Jacob looked at his mother, pleading for some sort of escape, finding this whole inquisition more than a little uncomfortable. Joanne closed her eyes, blocking Jacob's prayer for escape by giving a slight shake of her head. Swallowing the knot in his throat, Jacob looked over at Matt, who looked just as fearful at this as he did.

"Well," Viola asked, "you boys are seeing each other, right?"

"We..." Jacob began in a shaky voice, his eyes still locked on Matt's as he felt the tremor of his voice spread and consume his whole body, "yeah," he answered, watching the smile bloom on Matt's lips, a smile he mirrored, turning away to face Viola, pleased to find a smile on her lips as well.

Viola nodded, her attention turning from Jacob to her son, "I'm not going to lie and tell you I understand, I don't, but I'm not going to preach at you about being gay either. I'm sure life will present you with that enough. It's my job to stand by you, and support you when need be."

Matt opened his mouth, ready to object to the term gay and the stigma carried with it. Viola raised her hand, soundly silencing the objection on her son's lips before for he could even form the first syllable.

"All I care about is your happiness Matthew, nothing else much matters. In time, I'll see such things as just another part of you, just like the color of your eyes." Viola narrowed her eyes, remembering something she wanted to state. "Oh, and stay safe, and if you ever," Viola stressed, "ever... need anything that you're too embarrassed to buy, just let me know..."

It wasn't physically possible for Matt's eyes to get any wider, but he managed it somehow. Jacob on the other hand, visibly paled as Viola spoke.

"Speaking of," Joanne spoke calmly, "If you're too embarrassed to buy them, you're probably not ready to do it," she added, enjoying the sheen of moisture that had broken across her son's ashen face. "Wouldn't you agree Viola?" Joanne asked, looking away from Jacob and at Viola.

"Good point," Viola conceded with a sharp nod and a sly smile.

"Are we done?" Jacob's voice cracked.

"Are we?" Viola countered her attention turning from Joanne.

Jacob watched Viola, wanting to look at Matt for some sort of guidance where his mother was concerned. He just couldn't though, the manner in which she held herself as she sat in the muted green chair, shoulders pushed back proudly, and her posture near perfect.

"I think so," Matt answered with a curt nod that had Joanne seeing similarities in not only how mother and son looked, but in their similar mannerisms as well.

"That was odd," Jacob mentioned, closing the front door of Matt's house after the two had stepped out.

"Yeah," Matt agreed, none too happy that his mother had chosen to do the whole 'talk' thing with an audience. "I don't think she's done yet though," he sighed.

"Oh man, I'm sorry," Jacob said, pulling Matt against him as he wrapped his arms around Matt's waist.

"You should be," Matt smiled as his fingers curled around Jacob's biceps.

"Oh?" Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"Mmhmm," Matt answered, his fingers exploring the musculature of Jacob's upper arms.

"Why?" Jacob questioned, his lips grazing the exposed flesh of Matt's neck, tracing small kisses from Matt's collar bone to his earlobe.

Matt chuckled lightly at first, fighting the urge to pull away from Jacob's tickling lips and the shiver they sent racing along his shoulders. A shiver that had his cheeks and torso rosy as Jacob placed a final kiss just to the rear of Matt's jaw. Matt sighed, curling his neck into the faint touch of Jacob's lips.

"I don't know when," Matt sighed at the loss of Jacob's soft lips, "but she will want pull you aside, soon and talk to you."

"What?" Jacob stammered, stumbling away from Matt, and checking the front window of the house certain he would catch Viola's eyes.

"Gauge your intentions..." Matt continued, a slow smirk developing as he watched Jacob's reaction. The smile was only highlighted by the sparkle of mischief Jacob found in Matt's eyes when he turned to face him again. "Gotcha!" Matt beamed, on the verge of laughter.

"You dick," Jacob said, a broad grin puffing his cheeks with relief, "You had me worried there for a minute," he finished, advancing on Matt.

Matt laughed, jumping back from the tickle of Jacob's fingers, as they danced their way slowly, teasingly up Matt's side, thinking as he jumped from the further advance of Jacob's hand, that this was indeed a good day, just as he had thought in the car this morning. He realized it had some bad parts, but in the end, both he and Jacob were smiling.

"What are you doing tonight?" Jacob asked, backing Matt against rough brick facade of Matt's house. "We can go swimming, or... something,"

Matt thought for a moment, rolling his eye's to the white washed bead board ceiling which protected the house's front entry, "Something... defiantly sounds good," Matt answered, enjoying the devious grin that broadened across Jacob's face like molasses.

"I think I can manage that."

Matt jumped at his chance to grin stupidly, feeling his cheeks heat as he did. "I'm sure you can," he replied almost in a whisper as he shifted his position, allowing his thigh to rub against Jacob's. Matt marveled in the fact that no matter how awkward he felt in all of the situations where he found Jacob and himself alone, all it took was the slightest contact with Jacob and all the fears and self doubt he felt were banished soundly.

If Matt were a cat he would have purred, so content was he in the way Jacob's hand slithered around his waist and tugged at the small of his back lightly until the small contact their hips shared had spread from their shins all the way up to their lips.

"So," Jacob asked, breaking the small kiss, "you're ready for this?"

Matt pondered the question for a moment, "...and if I said no?" Matt responded, finding he rather liked the way Jacob blinked and the way he squinted when he was smiling.

"I'll have to try harder," Jacob smiled.

"And how..." Matt's response was silenced with a kiss that left him whimpering into Jacob's mouth. The slight sound urged Jacob into pulling Matt closer to his body, letting Matt know full well just how he was going to try 'harder'. Matt exhaled, feeling Jacob's erection slide along his through the fabric of their pants and aided by a rude pelvic thrust delivered by Jacob.

"Matt," Viola called, opening the door abruptly.

Jacob and Matt separated in an instant at the sound of Viola's voice, Matt quickly pulling his shirt out of his pants trying to hide himself, while Jacob tried unsuccessfully to shove his hands in his pockets. Abandoning his attempt to get his right hand into his pocket, Jacob slid his left hand into the pocket, pushing the fabric out in an attempt to conceal what the shock was already taking care of.

Viola eyed the pair suspiciously before a slight smile perked the corners of her lips, recognizing the flush on their cheeks for what it was. "Valerie is on the phone for you sweetheart," she said, finishing with a knowing wink at her son, bemused with the fact that he could get redder then he already was.

"I'll be right there," Matt muttered while staring at the toe of his black shoes.

"Alright," Viola said closing the door.

"Shit," Matt sighed, remembering the lump in his pocket he reached in and pulled out Valerie's car keys.

"So those were keys," Jacob smirked, his eyes narrowing as he attempted to feign disappointment.

Matt chuckled lightly as he shook off Jacob's joking comment, "She is going to be so... pissed."

"Tell her we'll meet her tomorrow for lunch," Jacob encouraged, knowing that being pissed at Matt was the furthest thing from Valerie's mind.

"I ran off and left her with out any keys," Matt attempted to argue his 'pissed theory'.

"Seriously kid," Jacob asked, closing the distance Viola's interruption had spawned, "when was the last time she was pissed at you?"

Matt opened his mouth to say Thursday night, but paused, this was a tough one. He couldn't off hand remember Valerie ever being genuinely angry at him. "There was that one time in second grade," Matt finally answered, grinning in triumph.

"Oh?" Jacob smirked, finding even that unbelievable.

"Yeah," Matt answered, "I gave one of her Barbie dolls a buzz cut."

Jacob lightly chuckled, shoving Matt's arm as he said, "Yeah well, if you don't go get on the phone, you're going to have a flashback."

"Right," Matt frowned, not wanting Valerie to be mad at him, "Does she know?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

"That I like you?" Jacob said, running his hand down Matt's cheek. "Yeah," he answered smiling softly. The feeling that erupted in Jacob's chest, his hand slipping from Matt's cheek as he turned to enter his house was bittersweet. He was definitely happy to see Matt facing what ever demon it was that had fueled his flight from the Pizza Joint, but just as sorry to see him go.

Moment's later Joanne stepped through the door and together they crossed the street. "We really need to talk about your sense of timing," she remarked absently as they started up their driveway. Jacob answered her statement with a chuckle of embarassment, playfully knocking his shoulder into hers as he did.