Living in Surreality - 12. Chapter 12

chapter 12:
: edited by viv :

Jacob's eyes drifted open to the soft chirp of his telephone ringing amidst the bed sheets, sparing a moment to stretch and rub the slumber from the corners of his eyes before reaching for the phone.

"Mmmrphh..." Jacob growled into the receiver.

"Hello?" Joanne answered, having picked up another extension.

"Jacob?" Matt asked, humor threatening to break free in his voice, realizing that Jacob wasn't a morning person.

"Good morning Matt," Joanne greeted.

"Morning Ms., I mean Mom," Matt greeted, eliciting a chuckle from Joanne at his catch.

"Jacob, get your ass out of bed," Joanne chided.

"Mom," Jacob groaned, sitting up in his bed wishing his mother would get off the phone. He stretched again, a thought giving birth to a grin. "Morning sexy," he yawned into the receiver.

Matt blushed as he sat at his kitchen table. No one but the three of them had heard it, but it made him feel good, the same as it would have if Jacob had said it in front of a crowd of strangers.

"Oh my God," Joanne shouted in mock disgust. "I'm hanging up" she continued with a laugh.

"It's about time," Jacob chuckled.

"Ughh!" Joanne said with dramatic flare just before hanging up the extension she was on.

"You ready?" Matt asked, laughing at Joanne's play.

"Ready?" Jacob questioned, rubbing a patch of skin just to the left of his left nipple.

"Prom," Matt answered. "Tux's, looking sexy... you agreed to it, not me."

"That's still two months away." Jacob tried to say, his hand flying away from his chest.

"Two and a half actually," Matt corrected. "There's one thing you should know by now. Valerie is fanatical when it comes to dances. You missed Homecoming, and she is less then thrilled about missing mid-winter this year."

"She went to Homecoming without us?" Jacob asked playing hurt.

"Without you, yeah," Matt laughed. "I had no choice, she had picked out the dress over the summer."

"I see how it is," Jacob pouted as he stood, searching for some pants. "Hey where'd we put my pants last night?" he asked.

"Other side of the bed," Matt answered figuring that if Jacob didn't see them on the floor, he wasn't on the right side of the bed.

Jacob rounded the bed, investigating Matt's claim. "Huh," he said, leaning down and grabbing the lump of blue denim which was crumpled on the floor. "These aren't mine," Jacob smiled, examining Matt's jeans.

"It was dark..." Matt defended. He had been curious to see if Jacob would notice that he had slipped them on last night, and now he knew. "Anyhow are you ready?"

"I didn't know she meant today," Jacob said, pulling Matt's abandoned pants on. "Mom wants me to drive up to Sacramento with her today."

"Oh," Matt answered, disappointed. "Well that ruins me asking you for my wallet in the department store."

Jacob hated the feeling that strangled his heart, he hated the forlorn tone of Matt's voice, and he hated that it was something that he said that had made both of these things so. "I can talk to my mom," he offered.

"No," Matt smiled at Jacob's suggestion. "Go and visit your family, have fun," Matt said, trying to squash the feeling of loss he was struggling with. "I just need to grab my wallet," he added as an afterthought.

Fifteen minutes later Jacob found himself encapsulated in a tight hug, a hug which he was eager to return.

"I miss you..." Matt whispered into Jacob's shoulder, squeezing him tighter, reveling in the soothing manner in which Jacob's hand glided along his back.

"It's only overnight," Jacob reassured. "I'll be back tomorrow," Jacob answered, returning the tight squeeze Matt had issued.

"I know," Matt smiled as he pulled away from Jacob, "Doesn't mean I wont miss you while your gone," Matt said, crimson flushing his cheeks as he looked away from Jacob's curious eyes.

Matt's visual retreat was short lived. Jacob's finger grasping his chin with a gentle touch, pulling Matt's focus back to him before placing a light kiss on Matt's lips. "I'll miss you too kid," he said, tracing the words into Matt's flesh.

"I gotta run," Matt mumbled, allowing his feet to carry him backwards, regretfully away from Jacob.

"I'll see you tomorrow night," Jacob answered, trying to ignore the yearning in his fingertips as they slowly traced the length of Matt's chin until they lost the warmth of his skin as he backed away.

Jacob watched as Matt gave a final wave and darted back across the quiet street as if he were avoiding traffic on a busier thoroughfare. As expected, Matt ran to Valerie's house instead of his own, only hesitating long enough to open the door and walk through. With a sigh of resolve, Jacob turned and entered his house.

"Mom," he shouted after the door closed behind him. "We have to talk."

"Why couldn't Jacob come?" Valerie asked, her eyes wandering over a picture book full of male models showing off tuxedo selections.

"He had something to do with his mom, he forgot about it when you guys were on the phone," Matt answered, his eyes scanning a separate book of tuxedos for rent.

The two of them sat side by side in the middle of the men's formal wear department in a large department store. They had been browsing the catalogues for the last hour. It had been as long since either of them had seen the older female associate that had shown them to the books.

"What do you think about this one?" Valerie said, pointing to a banana yellow zoot suit with a matching wide brimmed fedora.

Matt looked over quickly. "Does it come with green grease paint?" he quipped, dismissing the suit outright.

Val chuckled lightly and turned the page. "You could go tails and top hat," she commented.

"Not likely," Matt did not even bother to look this time. "I like this one," He decided out loud.

Valerie peered over the photo he was looking at. It was a black double-breasted suit with a silver vest, wing tipped shirt, and a black, straight tie.

"Ooohhh," Val cooed, agreeing with Matt's choice. "That's nice Matty."

"Finding anything you like?" the bird-like sales woman asked, peering over their heads.

"I like this one," Matt said handing the catalogue over to sales woman who adjusted the small glasses on her long nose to appraise the selection.

"Oh that is nice," she smiled, looking up from the book. "Let me go collect some sizes and we'll get you fitted."

They watched the woman walk away, scribbling a few notes onto a piece of paper before she disappeared into the back room.

"That suit is going to look so good on you," Valerie said, the corners of her luscious lips curling upward slightly.

Matt's gaze fell from her eyes to her lips and then back again before he looked away completely, feeling his face flush. He had been doing what Jacob suggested, looking at her as a woman, not as Val, the girl next door.

Valerie was not blind to the odd reaction Matt had just displayed. Even with his apparent discomfort in the moment, Valerie felt a tingle of excitement race along the nerve endings of her back. Deciding to give Matt an easy out from the curious blush that was splotching the flesh of his cheeks, she asked the question she had been dying to ask all morning.

"So, how was your guy's first date?" Valerie asked, feigning disinterest, her eyes moving to a book she had already looked at.

"What?" Matt asked, spinning around in his seat to face Valerie, well aware of the blush that was burning hotter on his cheeks.

Valerie spared him a look from the corners of her eyes and a slight smile which grew broader as Matt stared at her, his mouth falling slowly open.

"It wasn't a date," he stammered, looking around the sales floor before settling back on Valerie.

Valerie rolled her eyes at Matt's nervous dismissal. "Don't be stupid! Of course it was."

"It was just a movie," Matt responded.

"Where do you think people go on a first date?" Valerie fired back, again looking disinterested at the shock value Matt found in the situation.

"There were other people around," Matt continued to fight the notion of it being a date.

Valerie let out a huff as she turned to look at Matt. "So did you guys all sit as a big group, or did Jacob lead you off to sit away from the other people?"

The phantom touch of Jacob's hand steering Matt into a row towards the back of the theater which only had three seats tickled the small of Matt's back. Matt's eyes opened wide as that realization dawned, while a knowing smile spread across Valerie's face.

"Told you it was a date," Valerie smiled, satisfied that she was right. "You didn't really think Dad wanted me at the shop at quarter to five on a Friday afternoon did you?" she laughed.

Matt gave her a look of suspicion. "No, I guess not."

"So how was the first date?" she beamed.

"The movie was okay. Brendon was getting kinda chummy with Jacob though," Matt answered remembering the previous night in the corridor of the theater.

He had been walking back from the restroom, thinking about how comfortable it felt to be sitting next to Jacob in the dark theater, imagining the rest of life in that comfort. He wouldn't admit that to Valerie though, just enjoying the close presence of Jacob, nothing sexual having to happen, that could all be a pleasant bonus. That thought brought a wide grin to his face. Actually being perfectly comfortable with his attraction for another male was something he never thought would happen, but now as he remembered that feeling of comfort, he realized he was smiling.

"What?" Valerie asked, looking at Matt curiously.

Her voice brought him back to the table in the middle of the department store. He gave her a quick look before responding with, "Huh?"

"You said 'stupid', you whispered it," she continued to look at him.

Matt watched her for a moment and before he knew it, his lips opened. "I think Brendon Murphy was trying really hard to flirt with Jacob last night." he said, and he regretted it the moment he heard it fall from his mouth.

Valerie dropped the catalogue she was still holding. "He what?" she asked seriously, her attention now focused on Matt.

Matt did not have the energy to repeat what he had said, besides, he knew she had heard him rather well.

"What did you do?" she asked in a hushed voice leaning into him.

He began to shake his head lightly. "Nothing; I just... I just pretended it wasn't obvious," he murmured lightly.

"Why?" Valerie asked in a hushed voice.

Matt shrugged, "It's not like they kissed or anything."

"I'm going to kick his ass!" Valerie spoke a little too loudly. Noticing her indiscretion, she ducked her head.

"Whose?" Matt asked.

"Brendon's, hell, Jacob's if I have too," she answered fire in her placid brown eyes.

"I could kiss you for saying that," Matt smiled, confidant in the words that left his mouth. He knew he loved Jacob, and he knew that he was jealous of Brendon Murphy. He was scared of the different relationship Brendon could give Jacob, but he also knew in that moment, he loved Valerie for her needless defense of him, for her friendship, her beauty, and for just being Valerie. The girl he knew would always be at his side, no matter what storm they faced.

Valerie scoffed with a shocked and curious look on her face. A look which Matt studied with intent, paying special attention to her lips, and the lightly pearlescent lip-gloss that coated them. Valerie furrowed her brow as Matt stared at her with an alien expression on his face.

She was just beginning to look at one of the catalogues again when Matt's lips seized hers. His hand curled through her soft hair before, cupping her left ear with perfect ease. Valerie whimpered, all traces of her retreat gone, as she leaned back into Matt, his pinky lightly teasing her earlobe.

"Thank you," Matt whispered, barely breaking the kiss, his lips remaining close to hers. "You like him don't you?" he continued, his lips massaging hers as he spoke.

"What?" she asked, her words strangled and breathless, as she lingered on Matt's lips.

Matt pulled away, "Jacob, you like him, or else it would have been his ass you wanted to kick," he responded to her question, his hand falling from its perch on the side of her head.

"He likes you..." Valerie whispered, her eyes pleading with Matt not to pursue the question any further, begging him to just let her answer stand. Anymore of answer on her part would just hurt. She could tell by the conflicted look on Matt's face that he wanted to get something out, but his lips would not allow it just yet.

Matt watched as Valerie returned his blank look, her head nodding to a point slightly over his left shoulder as she forced a fake smile.

"Alright, I have a few sizes here," the female associate said as she returned, holding two plastic shrouded suits up. "Let's see which fits you best," she smiled warmly, her hand held out for him to come with her.

Valerie wandered idly through the department store, waiting as Matt was fitted. Her eyes occasionally perusing glass displays filled with sparkling jewelry and endless rows of watches, but her mind was still centered on what Matt had said, and what his eyes had implied. He had been right in his accusation, she was attracted to Jacob, and somehow, Valerie knew that she always had been, even if she didn't know why. She really didn't even know when this attraction had manifested. Was it the first night she saw him in the distance, accentuated by the amber glow of streetlights? Or all the small looks she always caught him giving Matt? If it was the latter, what did that mean? Why would she be attracted to someone who was so obviously was attracted to someone else? Overall, Valerie knew she had more questions than she had answers.

Through her own confusion, she was more concerned with Matt. Valerie knew that his personality was too black and white to deal with this, always seeing everything in terms of 'right' and 'wrong'. Always worrying about what 'they' would think or how 'they' would react. It was this realization, as she mulled over a cosmetics display that worried Valerie. She worried Matt would use that fear as an excuse to run.

These thoughts raced through her mind as she waited the half hour for Matt to finish in the formal wear department. Towards the end of her wait, Valerie found herself also wondering which shade, or combination of shades, would look good with her dress, always having her mind on the big issues of her day.

Matt walked up behind her quietly folding his rental paperwork.

"What do you think about this one?" Valerie asked, handing a slender glass tube of lip-gloss over her shoulder, knowing Matt was there to take it from her.

Matt slipped the tube from her fingertips and studied it for a moment before handing it back to her. "Its nice," he said, his tone however, was unimpressed.

Agreeing, Valerie slid the tube back into the countertop display, choosing to remain undecided, at least for now.

"All set?" she asked turning on her heel, a ready smile greeting Matt.

Flicking the yellow sales draft copy that he held in her face, "Yup," Matt smiled

"Good," Valerie said, happy to at least get one of them dressed today. "Let's go eat."

The conversation was idle as they made their way to the mall exit of the big department store, past a bored looking pianist, whose fingers were tickling out 'Clair de Lune' which, in retrospect, was better then they jazzy version of November Rain that he had played earlier. Valerie's talk ventured to prom again, as she told Matt of her plans on getting a limo, though she couldn't decide whether she wanted a Lincoln or a Mercedes. She did, however, state that she didn't want some stretched SUV, stating something about being unclassy.

Seventeen stores window shopped, and the merits and disadvantages of hip-hop culture later found Valerie and Matt in the middle of the semi-empty mall food court, finishing what remained of their corndogs and lemonades.

"Brendon getting all friendly with Jacob is bothering you, isn't it?" Valerie asked out of nowhere as she set her lemonade cup down.

Matt just shrugged, looking down at his mustard smeared paper tray.

"What are you afraid of Matty," Valerie asked in a tender voice, trying to coax the words from his throat.

"Him... you... all these damned conflicting feelings," he finally spoke after smearing the mustard around with his corndog stick.

"If it was just feelings for me would you fight it so much?" she asked feeling rather Freudian.

Matt appraised her, looking for any signs of her intentions with this impromptu therapy session. "No," he murmured, a flash of pain lighting his eyes before he peered back at the small paper tray and its vivid contrast of yellow on white.

"Then why do you fight him so much," she asked, emphasizing her concern for Matt by reaching across the small plastic table and grasping his hand in hers, squeezing it for extra measure.

Matt looked at Valerie, holding her gaze for the first time since she had brought the subject up again. His eyes stung seeing the sympathy on her face.

"Because it's wrong," Matt croaked, stuttering on the phrase he didn't want to believe. His mind fighting to find a distraction from the vinegar tang of the mustard assaulting his nose, to the sweet acidic bite the lemonade left in the crevices of his mouth, anything but what he didn't want to admit.

"Says who?" she demanded, soothing Matt with a gentle stroke of his hand.

Matt shook his head, feeling, knowing that he had given her the wrong impression. "I could understand it if I looked at other guys and found myself attracted to them too. It just doesn't happen. I mean yeah, they're good looking, but the urge, the things he makes me feel aren't there, never have been."

Valerie squeezed his hand harder, conveying that her strength was his.

"How could a person be gay for just one guy?" Matt asked, not expecting Valerie to give an answer that he knew she didn't have.

"Have you given him a reason to like you?" Valerie asked.

Matt shook his head no.

"But he does, without reason. That's count for something."

Matt nodded. "Then there's you," he added.

"What about me," she questioned, settling back in the uncomfortable plastic chair.

Matt had a feeling that he had already shared too much, but now that Pandora's Box had been opened, Valerie would not let it be sealed again. "We both like you, I'm sure you know. He's attracted to you, keeps joking around about inviting you to join us one day," he said as he studied her carefully. "I don't think he's joking either."

Valerie's hand slipped from Matt's, a look of shock on her face, the realization of Matt's words sinking in. The more she thought about it, the more she found the idea intriguing.

Her mouth opened, only to close again, as Valerie found herself at a rare loss for words.

Matt watched her, forgetting about the tray smeared with mustard and the half empty lemonade cup.

Valerie returned the stare, adding a slight smile

"I'm just outside Stockton," his mother said into the phone. "I should be at Grandma's in about an hour and a half. You're sure you're okay right?" she asked concerned.

"Yes ma' I just didn't feel like sitting in a car for six hours," Jacob said, as he placed a yellow CD into his player.

"Not even with your own mother?" Joanne asked, playfully shocked.

"Especially with you," he grinned into the receiver.

Joanne laughed as she rolled her eyes, "My son, the smartass!"

Jacob turned the volume down on the stereo and pressed the advance button rapidly until he came to track three. He listened to it momentarily before he hit the stop button.

"What was that?" Joanne asked.

"Nothing," Jacob answered quickly, as he pressed the power button on the stereo.

"For nothing, it sure sounded a lot like a Tom Jones song."

"Just listening to some CD's" Jacob answered.

"Alright," Joanne mentioned, unconvinced. "I'll give you a call when I get to Grandma's. Josie is going to be disappointed you didn't come along."

"Tell her I miss her," Jacob smiled at the thought of his Aunt Josie; the woman was a younger, wilder version of his mother. While he missed his grandmother and grandfather, and all of his friends up in Sacramento, Jacob missed Josie the most.

"Right..." Joanne kidded. "I'll tell her your too busy messing about with the locals to bother to come up and see her," his mother laughed.

"Goodbye Ma,'" Jacob laughed.

"I'll talk to you later," she smiled before hanging up the phone.

Jacob pressed the power button on the stereo receiver and hit the play button on the CD player, cranking the volume all the way up he sat back on the bed, listening to the brass wail through his speakers.

He smiled to himself, his fingers trailing to the front of the pair of Matt's pants he was wearing, as Tom Jones began to sing with force. The bass of the drum line making his room quake. Jacob listened to the song repeatedly, trying to memorize the words and timing.

Jacob rushed across the hall, sopping wet and nude having dropped the towel that covered him in his rush to answer the phone.

"Hello," Jacob panted, water from the shower he had vacated dripping off his body.

"Damnit, your mother was right!" a familiar voice shouted, sounding all to happy to hear from her nephew.

"Josie," Jacob yelled, wanting to rush and wrap her in his arms. "How are you doing?" he asked, the words rushing from his mouth, forgetting that he was ass bare, standing in front of his bedroom window.

"Fine kiddo," Josie answered him, sounding just as, if not more, excited. "I've missed ya," she beamed into the phone.

Jacob blushed involuntarily at her comment. "I've missed you too, when are you coming down?"

"I've got vacation this summer, so I get to crash at your place then."

"Cool, you'll get to meet Matt and Valerie."

Josie noticed the added excitement present in Jacob's voice as he mentioned his new friends. "Matt and Valerie huh, are they the reason your so out of breath?" she teased.

Jacob's cheeks burned, as he held the phone in silence.

Josie knew by the silence, she smiled as she looked at his mom, her thumb up. Joanne just shook her head.

"I look forward to meeting them babe," Josie said.

"They're cool, you'll like Valerie," he said, trying to recover.

"Not as much as you do I'm guessing," Josie commented just as his cheeks were returning to a normal color.

"I had to run from the shower to answer the phone," he commented, feeling his cheeks flush again.

"Joanne," Josie screamed across the room at her older sister. "Did you know there is a wet, naked, hunk of a young man in your house all alone?"

"Josie stop teasing him," Jacob heard his mother comment in the background. "And he damn well better be," she added for good measure.

"What's this Valerie girl's phone number? She doesn't know what she's missing," Josie laughed.

Jacob growled into the phone.

Josie laughed at the playful sound of aggression. "It's alright, I'll just ask your mom," she laughed some more, enjoying the fact that she was still able to rib her nephew over the phone. "Alright kid, I'll let you finish your shower," Josie said, the last word coming out with a wink and a smile.

"Bye Josie," Jacob sounded, feeling lovingly dejected.

"I'll see you this summer kiddo," Josie said, counting the days until she could crush him in a wild hug. "Your mom says 'stay out of trouble', and the neighborhood kids," she laughed as she hung up the phone.

Jacob peered out of his window as he hung up the phone, and as he noticed Valerie's mustang parked in its place in her driveway, he smiled. Jacob figured she and Matt must have gotten home while he was in the shower, he had checked before he went into the bathroom and found the driveway empty then.

He quickly dressed, deciding against wearing boxer shorts underneath the white nylon basketball shorts he pulled on. Figuring if everything went as he planned it would only be one more thing stopping him.

Pulling a loose fitting, golden, sleeveless jersey over his head, he dialed Matt's phone number. Listening intently to the ring tone and smiling as Matt answered.

"Come over," Jacob commanded. "Wear a hat," then he abruptly hung up not giving Matt a chance to question.

Jacob smiled, as he dialed Valerie's number next.