C.E.C.O. - 6. Chapter 6

Avery hadn’t heard the doorbell or any knocking. Just how long had Alonso been standing there? Was it really all just bad timing? Was it too late to shut the door back up?

“Someone you know, Ave?” Clint asked.

Yep, far too late to shut the door back up and pretend he never saw him. Damn. How many months had he been in therapy because of the brunet? At least two months’ worth of nearly daily sessions. And yet, Avery wasn’t ready to be face-to-face with the guy. Remembering one of his calming techniques, he began breathing deeply and concentrating on the air flowing to his lungs before turning towards his lover.

“Clint, this is Alonso.” Avery tentatively introduced. “Alonso, this is my boyfriend, Clint.”

“Encantado,” Alonso responded as he shook Clint’s hand without missing a beat. “You are a handsome devil, Señor Clint.” His dark brown eyes then narrowed as they focused on Avery. “I thought you didn’t believe threesomes, mi diablillo Amerin.”

“Still not my thing,” Avery insisted as he tried to brush it off. But, the pet name Alonso used whenever he would rile him up in bed brought back a mix of memories. Some of the memories carried passion, and others hurt. “I’m neither an imp nor am I yours. I refuse to be in your circle of naive lovers anymore.”

At first, Clint had been friendly toward the man. Avery hadn’t given him any reason not to be, and the strawberry-blond hadn’t mentioned Alonso was an ex. But, when he paid close attention to their exchange, Clint realized that the man in front of them must be the infamous prior lover Ave had mentioned. His focus intensified after that.

The expression on Alonso’s face was as petulant as a child told that they weren’t allowed to take any stray pets home. "We were good together," Alonso replied as he lifted up the boxed cake by the handle, pointing shamelessly at Clint. “You think this rinoceronte can handle your berrinches? Does he know your favorite bakery and ingredients?”

A spark of anger flared up in Avery when Alonso called Clint a rhino. But when Alonso mentioned the tantrums, the aqua-eyed man paled. The time he had spent with Clint thus far had been embarrassing but relatively peaceful. Ave hadn’t encountered anything that would lead to an altercation yet. During the months after the rough break-up, the shorter man had worked hard to bring balance back to himself. Despite their brief time spent together, Ave felt a connection to Clint. He didn’t want to scare him off right away by revealing his ugly side too soon.

“I know that key lime cake is his favorite pastry,” Clint provided without missing a beat.

While the sentiment was sweet, Clint’s words only irritated Alonso further. The brunet glared up at him before pinning his glare onto Avery. “You are a sadist that enjoys inflicting pain on others,” he hissed.

The steady breathing that Avery had been struggling to uphold wavered. What Alonso said wasn’t true. He didn’t relish in bringing others pain. Ave had anger issues and reacted before thinking whenever he was riled up, but he didn’t enjoy having lost that control. He enjoyed the aftermath even less.

“And you are a violent imp that can’t last unless you become a savage.”

Avery hissed as his eyes narrowed. While it was confirmed that he could last longer whenever he was fired up, Ave wouldn’t have called himself a savage. Is that how Alonso had viewed him?

“You are too possessive and stubborn to ever become a true partner to anyone and are too little of a man to stand up to your own parents.”

Avery felt the moment his steady breathing broke into a huff of fury. Alonso had been the one who had always spurred on his possessiveness. Not to mention that having a little respect towards the close-minded parents that raised him did not automatically make him a coward. That last one was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“How fucking dare you!?” He growled as he tried to launch himself at Alonso to attack him. Clint’s reflexes were faster as he grabbed him by the waist and held him back. “Let go!” Ave roared as his arms flailed towards Alonso without being able to reach him. “I’m going to shove that key lime cake so far up his ass that he’ll taste it for weeks!”

A triumphant smirk formed on Alono’s handsome face as he stepped further from Avery’s reach. He lifted the cake box before Avery’s face and dropped it on the ground. “Sin mí tú no eres nada.”

The freckled man’s nostrils flared as he drew air into his lungs again while watching Alonso walk away. “Argh!” he griped when he was finally released. He rushed forward and kicked the cake box down the pavement before raking his hands through his hair. “Shit. Clint, I’m so sorry.” Avery thought they’d have more time before the taller man witnessed one of his outbursts. Sporadic violence could frighten just about anyone away. Ave was ashamed at allowing his ex to rile him up so easily.

The apartment door flung open again as Jace rushed out. “I heard yelling. What happened?” He questioned.

“We had a run-in with an ex,” Clint responded. “As determined as Ave was to kick his ass, he ended up kicking his cake offering instead.” His mind was still a bit of a whirl after seeing the shorter man’s intent to maim. That Alonso guy must have done a number on Ave. Clint didn't know whether to feel relieved at Avery's animosity towards his ex or concerned. Wasn’t there a thin line between love and hate? Were there still unresolved feelings in the mix?

“Were you able to hold back?” Jace asked his cousin.

Avery shook his head. “I didn’t land anything, thanks to Clint’s prompt intervention. But it wasn’t my doing. Had he not been here, I’d have all but destroyed him.” He took in a shuddering breath. “Feels like I’ve failed before I’ve even begun.”

Jace reached out to rub Avery’s back. “No, you’re only human. This means you have to keep trying,” he countered.

“Does that mean you want to postpone our movie date?” Clint asked in a dejected tone.

“You still want me around?” Avery asked in confusion. “After all that?”

“Yes, and I would like to further understand,” Clint admitted.

“Maybe my cousin’s in good hands after all,” Jace mused with a grin. He then took hold of Avery’s face and his cheeks. “Text me at intervals, got it?” He sighed in relief when Avery nodded. “Good. Then, you can go.”

Avery moved to pick up the mess he made on the road with the boxed cake, but Jace beat him to it. “I’ll get rid of this,” he insisted.

By the time Avery sat in the passenger seat of Clint’s car, he was lost in his thoughts. That was the first time he’d seen Alonso in four months. How had he even found out where he lived? Jace wouldn’t have passed that information on, and he certainly hadn’t even given his address to other family members.

Avery had just realized they'd arrived when the car door was opened for him by Clint again. The taller man held his hand out for him, and he hesitated momentarily before taking it. Ave took another deep breath before following the man inside the gorgeous house and taking his shoes off at the entrance. What did Clint think of him, and why was that important to him when he hardly knew the man?

Clint urged Avery to sit on his gray, suede couch and decided to get some water boiling for chamomile tea. He brought the tea over in a tray with a small jar of honey and several packets of sugar, unsure which the blond preferred. He set the tray on the coffee table before them and then sat beside the shorter man who was withdrawn and hugging his knees.

Sin mí tú no eres nada.

Alonso’s parting words bounced around in Ave’s head. Was he nothing without him? Was that also what Alonso thought of him, that he was a worthless savage? The bronze man was under the impression that he was the only one in the world who could handle Ave’s temper. That couldn’t be right, could it? Avery wanted it to be different.

“I meant it earlier when I said I wanted to further understand,” Clint prompted gently. “But, if you’re not ready to trust me enough with that…”

“I do want to tell you,” Avery admitted. “I’m just afraid you’ll think me crazy or constantly violent.”

“Is that a state you want to always be in?”

“No! Definitely not. I even go to therapy regularly to get a better hold on it.”

“Then, it’s not as much of a deal breaker as you seem to think,” Clint responded. “Violence and fighting were a necessity for me growing up. I’ve never liked it, but whenever I was forced into fights, I learned to bring them to an end as quickly as possible, even if it meant being labeled as the vicious one.”

One of Avery’s hands dropped down to his side as he turned to pay closer attention to the man beside him. Clint fought in the past? But fighting to survive and being forced into fights wasn’t the same as starting them. “Whenever I'm riled up, I'm usually the first to lash out physically when I reach a certain boiling point.” He confessed. “I've been learning to avoid and stop taking everything personally, but Alonso knows all my triggers. Hell, he might even know triggers I'm unaware of.”

“Can you tell me about some of them?” Clint asked.

Avery glanced away, unable to meet Clint’s eyes. “What I said before about my parents allowing me to date, but not approving of my dating guys was true,” he began. “But, I didn’t explain the details of how that came to be the agreement in the first place. When I was a teen, just a couple of years younger than Jace is now, I tried to come out to my parents, knowing fully well that they hated my gay uncle. They allowed me to date around early on to 'get it out of my system' before settling down with a girl.”

Clint’s jaw tightened, but he refused to interrupt. He’d be lying if he said he’d never imagined what it was like to grow up with a pair of doting parents. But, from what little Avery admitted about his parents, they didn’t seem to be ‘doting’ in the slightest. To him, it sounded as if they were rejecting part of what Avery was and caused him to be hurt.

“When I graduated college, I tried to come out to them again. Jace was my emotional support,” Ave continued with a wry smile. “But, my dad backhanded me and insulted us both. By then, I had bottled up so much frustration and anger that his slap had tipped it over, and I started hitting him back. I was so blinded by rage that I didn’t care that my mom jumped in between us. Jace had to tackle me to the ground to stop me before I hurt her, too.” The shorter man’s throat closed up for a moment before he pushed through. “While I disagreed with my mother’s views, she didn’t hate gays at the same level as my father. But, the guilt I carried was just as heavy as if I'd actually landed a hit on her because I hadn’t been able to stop myself.”

“So, your parents are one of the triggers?”

Avery nodded. “As is insulting anyone I care about. Alonso had called you a rhino,” he added.

“Now I’m wondering if I wouldn’t have punched him in the face first had I realized it,” Clint mused aloud.

“I doubt you would have.”

“I might have if he had insulted you instead.”

“Oh, believe me, he did,” Avery pointed out. “He called me a sadist, a demon, a savage, and a possessively stubborn coward back to back.”

“That you managed to extract all of that from his thick accent is impressive and frightening.” Clint jested.

“I’ve had three years of practice,” Ave drawled as he dropped his forehead to his knees. “But, none of that should have triggered me at all. He used it all to light a fuse, and it freaking worked. Four months of working on myself, and his provocations still worked.”

“Some habits are hard to break,” Clint replied. “And I don't mind helping to hold you back…if I'm allowed to do the same from now on.”

“Yes, definitely.” Ave agreed. “You reacted so quickly. I'm totally in your debt. Had I beaten him half to death, I'd be in jail instead of your lovely home. So, you are welcome to stop my rampages any time.”

“I wouldn’t have called it a rampage,” Clint countered. “I was actually more afraid of you getting hurt, not that I don’t think you could have taken him on. My concern was if he landed any hits of his own.”

“You…you’re not scared I’ll hit you accidentally?”

“I’d be more upset if you hit me on purpose.”

“I wouldn’t ever want to hit you on purpose,” Avery admitted. “But, to make sure of it, I need to schedule more therapy sessions.”

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