The Price of Revelation - 5. Chapter 5

The Price of Revelation
by Tiffani Chin

Chapter 5

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Sean’s eyes were puffy, but he had no choice but to be awake as his family started getting ready to leave for the airport. After all, he was sharing the guest room with Sammy, and Sammy was returning home like Sean should have been.

“Sammy, let’s go,” Rachel called.

Sammy’s little fingers dragged along Sean’s forearms. He grabbed Sean’s hand and pulled him toward the door.

“Sammy, I’m staying here,” Sean said. Sammy didn’t listen and continued to drag Sean with him.

“Come on, Sean!” Sammy whined tugging more forcefully.

Sean sighed and followed his brother into the living room. He avoided everyone’s eyes, and couldn’t help feeling pissed when he eyed the luggage. Those fuckers, or more specifically his dad, were leaving him behind.

It was awkward to say the least. The tension was thick in the air. Whenever someone spoke, it sounded forced.

“I guess we’ll head out now,” Skyler said breaking the silence.

Sean still refused to look at anyone. He stood by Sammy, who was still holding onto his hand. There was movement; luggage being dragged, the door being pulled open, and shuffling of feet.

Rachel walked over to Sean. He could tell it was her by the soft steps and her shoes. She gently disentangled Sammy’s fingers from Sean’s hand.

“Sean,” she said softly. Sean refused to give her any reaction. “Sean, please…”

At the sad tone in her voice, Sean finally looked up. She looked apologetic. “I’m sorry, Sean.” Her mouth opened and closed a few times as if she wanted to say more, but she never did. Her shoulders sagged. “I’m just sorry.”

Sean nodded and when she reached over to hug him, he didn’t pull away, but he also didn’t return the hug. His arms hung limply at his sides.

Glancing at him one last time, she nodded in resignation, lifting Sammy into her arms.

“Bye, Sammy,” Sean said swallowing the lump in his throat as he looked at his brother’s small face. “I’ll see you later.”

Sammy frowned. “Where you going?”

Sean smiled, feeling a stinging sensation behind his eyes. “Here.”

“Here?” Sammy echoed.

“Yeah, but I’ll be back. I’ll see you soon. Be good, okay?” Sean said, leaning over and placing a big kiss on Sammy’s cheek.

Rachel walked out first, still toting Sammy. Sammy stared over her shoulder, gazing at Sean with a perplexed look on his face. Sean waved weakly.

Storm remained. He started to move toward Sean, but Sean abruptly shifted his body and stared pointedly at his feet. Sean heard his father sigh.

“Alright, Sky, let’s go.” Then he heard two pairs of footsteps and the quiet and final closing of the door.

Sean allowed himself to look up. He hurried to the window and opened the shades. He saw his family getting into Skyler’s jeep.

His father was looking at the front of the house, his eyes never leaving Sean’s, even as he climbed into the passenger seat. Sean continued to stare as they pulled out of the driveway and drove off.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and nearly jumped.

“Sean,” Zeke said softly.

Sean frowned, realizing that his other uncle hadn’t gone along with his family to the airport.

The older blond man smiled, understanding Sean’s confusion. “I felt like sleeping in and keeping my favorite nephew company.”

Sean sighed, but couldn’t help rolling his eyes slightly.

Zeke chuckled. “Listen, since we’re both up, why don’t we get some breakfast?” he suggested gripping Sean’s shoulder firmly and steering him towards his bedroom. There’s this place that has a really great breakfast buffet.”

Sean had a feeling that this wasn’t a request, so he nodded and went to get dressed.

******

“Want to talk?” Zeke asked biting into a sausage.

Sean stared sullenly into his cup of orange juice and shrugged.

Zeke smiled, but his eyes remained serious. “I was hoping for a lack of response.”

Sean looked up curiously.

“That means I can talk,” Zeke finished.

“About what?” Sean frowned.

“You.”

“What about me?” Sean went on childishly, slumping his shoulders. “I got dumped here and I didn’t even do anything wrong. I hate my…”

Zeke interrupted him. “Before you finish that sentence, let me say some things first, okay?”

Sean nodded, feeling reprimanded. His eyes were glued to his plate of food.

“I’ve known your father for a very long time. In all that time, he has never been irrational or unfair or mean. He definitely never exhibited any behavior that should warrant your hatred,” Zeke said. He held up his hand when Sean opened his mouth to speak.

“But then again, you and I don’t think the same,” he said ruefully. “That’s the difference between a teenager and an adult. You think you’re all grown up and that you know everything. You feel mature, you’re starting college, and you’re going to be more independent. Why shouldn’t you make your own decisions?”

Sean nodded cautiously.

“But don’t think we’re so dumb either,” Zeke went on. “We’ve been around longer and know a few more things, so give us some credit, okay? Your dad loves you and is just looking out for you.”

“Even if I’m miserable?” Sean snapped.

Zeke sighed. “Sean, your dad loves you. He puts a roof over your head, he gives you everything you want, he doesn’t abuse you, and most of all: he’s there for you. You’re really lucky, Sean. He didn’t send you to military camp or something. He sent you to freaking California, to live with us! Are we so bad?”

A small smile tugged at Sean’s lips as he shook his head.

“Your dad really isn’t punishing you, Sean. It seems that way because he’s getting in the way of your plans, but he’s looking out for you. I admit, when I was your age, I liked older guys, but not someone who was practically twice my age or old enough to be my father,” Zeke shivered. “Although your dad is young, I’ll give you that.”

“That brings me to your, uh, good friend, Ethan,” he continued. Sean noticed he didn’t use the word boyfriend and couldn’t help frowning. “I…” The shrill sound of his cell phone interrupted him. “Hold on,” he told Sean. “Hey, baby.”

Sean immediately knew it was Skyler calling.

“We’re having breakfast. Yeah, at that buffet place. We’re talking right now. Okay, come over here, you fat ass,” Zeke teased. He laughed and blushed slightly. “I love you, too,” he murmured before hanging up. He had a silly grin on his face when he looked at Sean. “Where was I?”

“Ethan,” Sean supplied, smiling at his uncle’s silliness.

“Oh, right. Well, I don’t know Ethan personally, so I can only go by what your father says, but maybe you can help me fill in the blanks.”

“Here’s the impression I get of Ethan,” Zeke began. “He’s a smooth older man. He’s been there and done that and seems to know everything, so he’s interesting. He says all the right things. He says the sweetest things, right?”

Sean nodded in agreement.

“But sometimes those sweet things cover the things he really does…” Zeke said studying Sean’s face carefully.

Sean frowned. “What?”

“Let me start over,” Zeke said laughing. “God, I’m bad at this. Okay, let me give you an example. When I was your age,” he broke off chuckling. “I’m so old,” he groaned. “I’m using that horrible line!”

Sean couldn’t help grinning at his uncle.

“When I was a senior in high school, I went to college frat parties with some older friends. I met a guy who was a few years older than me. We started dating. We lasted quite awhile,” he sighed regretfully. “But we really shouldn’t have.”

“Why not?” Sean asked.

“I was dumb, Sean. My parents were divorced and I hated living with my mom and my stepfather, but my real father and his new wife weren’t any better. I usually crashed with friends, but the point is, I didn’t have family to turn to. My mom knew I was gay and tried to advise me against going out so much with older friends. But I brushed her off, figuring she just wanted me to be unhappy and control my life. I was young and thought I knew what I was doing. What would she know? She never paid attention to me.”

Sean leaned forward, interested in this story.

“So I dated this guy and things were good for awhile. He showed me around campus, he introduced me to his friends. They were all so cool and gorgeous. I liked being in that group, in that crowd. To feel like I belonged or had people to turn to, it was a nice feeling,” he shrugged. “In private, he was sweet and affectionate, and the sex was amazing,” he admitted. “For awhile.”

“Then what happened?”

“The abuse happened,” Zeke said shaking his head.

Sean gasped, his eyes widening.

“By then I was too far into the relationship. I spent most of my time with him and was alienated from my family and most of my friends. No matter how many bruises or how many times I ached from the rough sex, it didn’t matter. He was always so nice after he hit me. He’d take me out, he’d hold me, and he’d buy me things. And I really thought he loved me so I ignored all the signs. I knew it was wrong and I hated what was happening, but for some reason I couldn’t get myself to take action. It seemed I was just,” he paused searching for the right word. “Stuck. Trapped,” Zeke explained.

“How did you get out?” Sean asked.

“After a bad hospital visit. Broken bones, concussion, the works, I finally saw the light. Took me long enough and the painkillers were a bitch,” Zeke finished. “He and his friends had already graduated from college, so I was safe for the most part. I spent the summer with your Uncle Crew and cut off all contact. I was lucky, eventually he gave up or found someone else to torture and I was free.”

“Wow,” Sean murmured.

“But don’t you see, Sean? I wish I had someone like your dad to help me when I needed it, before it was too late. After that relationship, I had bad hookups, one night stands, and never really found anyone to be with…”

“Until Uncle Skyler?”

Zeke grinned, his dark blue eyes lighting up, giving him a boyish appearance “Yeah, he was the good one that randomly came along. I turned him gay, you know.”

Sean burst out laughing, snorting giggles through his nose.

“He dated every girl on campus, literally, but as soon as I came along, he stopped…”

“Talking about me, huh? How rude,” Skyler interrupted, plopping down beside his partner holding a plate piled with food. They kissed briefly and Sean envied the gentle and loving caresses. “So, talking about me? Must be a riveting conversation,” he joked.

Zeke laughed and nudged Skyler’s shoulders. Looking at Sean, he turned serious again. “Sean, does any of that sound familiar?”

“What?”

“My abusive relationship with Xavier,” Zeke began. “Any of the things that happened to me, did it happen to you?” he asked hesitantly.

Skyler stared hard at Sean. It was like looking at his father.

“Um, no…” Sean said.

His uncles clearly didn’t believe him. Sean could tell by the looks on their faces.

“Okay, I’ll ask you some questions and you’ll answer honestly?” Zeke suggested.

Sean shrugged. “Alright.” He didn’t know where this was going.

“Does Ethan get mad if you hang out with your friends or family? Does he try to get you to spend all your time with him?” Zeke asked.

“Does he get pissed if you don’t spend all your time with him?” Skyler asked.

Sean looked back and forth between the two men with wide eyes. “Uhh…”

“Sean, tell us.”

“Sometimes he gets annoyed,” Sean admitted. “But only because he’s lonely and doesn’t know anyone in town. He really likes me…” Even as he said the words, he realized how pathetic they sounded to his own ears.

“Has he ever hit you?” Skyler demanded his fingers curling tightly around his coffee cup.

“No!” Sean exclaimed. “No,” he repeated. “He hasn’t.” That was the truth.

Skyler studied him, before nodding. “Sean, I talked to your dad before.”

“Yeah, so,” Sean said sullenly.

“We came up with some sort of compromise.”

Sean looked up. “Okay?” he asked slowly, waiting for more information.

“You’re still staying with us for the summer, but…”

“But what?”

“Your dad agreed to back off on you dating Ethan…”

“Really?” Sean asked in disbelief.

“On one condition.”

“What condition?”

“If you agree to stop all contact with Ethan over the summer, then when you get home and still want to date Ethan while you’re in college, he won’t bother you anymore,” Skyler said.

“What?” Sean exclaimed. “That’s the condition? That’s messed up!”

“Sean, he just wants to make sure that you really want to be with Ethan and that Ethan isn’t somehow persuading you into anything.”

“He’s not!”

“Sean, that’s a fear of his,” Skyler said. “He feels as if Ethan is convincing you to stay in the relationship. Your dad just wants you to be young and hang out with friends rather than be in such a serious relationship with someone much older and might have different expectations.”

“So no contact at all? What does that mean?” Sean asked.

“Call up Ethan and tell him you want to take a short break for the summer. I wouldn’t say no contact at all, although your dad probably wants that. Nothing wrong with a phone call here and there, some emails, but I don’t want you glued to your phone or computer, either. That would defeat the purpose,” Skyler said.

“What’s the point of this?” Sean asked.

“To clear your head. I know what it’s like to have someone older and interesting clouding your thoughts and judgment,” Zeke broke in gently. “I have to ask you, Sean. Are you really happy with Ethan? I can’t imagine you connecting with someone twice your age. Just push all your anger, resentment, and bitterness aside for a second, and think about it. Do you want to be with Ethan? Are you happy with him?”

Sean’s head was spinning from the turn his life had taken within the past twenty-four hours.

As they continued with their breakfast, his uncles talked softly amongst themselves as Sean’s mind raced. Did he really want to be with Ethan?

Sean didn’t know anything anymore.

******

Sean lay on his bed, breathing hard, feeling sweaty and slimy. He had come back from a three mile run and had purposely pushed himself extra hard. He wanted to clear his head. He wanted the answers to come to him.

But he had been staring up at the ceiling for the last ten minutes. Apparently, he hadn’t made any progress in the thinking department. He was still thinking, hardcore thinking. He felt like he had a huge decision to make and there was all this weight resting on his shoulders.

After what Zeke had told him at breakfast, Sean was going through every detail of his relationship with Ethan. Sean wasn’t sure what was considered a warning sign and he was too afraid to ask his uncles. But even Sean was questioning his own judgment.

The most jarring point in Sean’s memory was the first time Ethan had fucked him. It had hurt so much. Sean could never forget how Ethan had made him do it anyway. He remembered Ethan’s expression of pleasure while Sean was near tears and on the verge of vomiting. He remembered the burn, the pain, the soreness, and the traces of blood in his ass.

Picking up his cell phone, Sean made a decision. He bounced his foot anxiously as he waited for the familiar voice.

“Hello?”

Sean’s stomach clenched. “Ethan, I’m not coming home,” he blurted out.

“What?” Ethan exclaimed in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“My dad didn’t tell me, but he basically sent me here for the summer,” Sean said, feeling a headache coming on. “They all flew home this morning. They left me here.”

“When will you be back?”

“In time for school to start,” Sean said flatly. “At the end of August, I guess. That’s when orientation is.”

Ethan cursed. “How can he do that?”

“I don’t know. He just decided this on his own. I’m really pissed at him.”

“What are we going to do?” Ethan asked, panic in his voice.

Sean froze, a funny feeling overcoming him. “There’s nothing we can do. I’m here for the next two months.”

“Fuck, Sean! This can’t be happening.”

Sean tensed at Ethan’s tone. “I’m sorry, but there’s no way I can come back home.”

Ethan snorted in contempt. “Let me think,” he grunted. Then he was silent for a few seconds. “What if I bought you a ticket and you came to live with me?” Ethan threw out.

Sean felt like laughing at the incredulity of Ethan’s suggestion. It was way too early in their relationship to live together. In fact, ever since they had had sex, Sean was having doubts. Ethan was still sweet, but Sean couldn’t help wondering if Ethan would always be that careless with his feelings.

“Sean?” Ethan said.

“Ethan, don’t you think that’s a little too soon for us?” Sean asked making a face. “We haven’t been dating that long…”

“But we’ve been talking for awhile. We know each other and we have such a deep connection.”

“Actually, Ethan,” Sean began. “I have something to tell you.”

“More?” Ethan asked wearily.

“Here’s the thing: my dad will allow me to date you and get off our case completely only if we spend the summer apart,” Sean said squeezing his eyes, anticipating Ethan’s reaction.

“What?” Ethan practically yelled. “The entire summer apart?”

“It won’t be that hard since I’m across the country,” Sean said. “They just want me to spend the summer having fun instead of tied down with someone.”

“Is that how you feel? Tied down with me?” Ethan asked his voice controlled.

Sean wiped his palms on his jeans. “I like being with you, Ethan, and getting to know you, but I’m not sure how serious we should be. I am going to college and I want to get out there…”

“So you were planning on dumping me by the end of the summer?” Ethan hissed. “Were you just using me?”

“No!” Sean cried out. “No, it’s not like that. Ethan, I’m really confused right now. I’m happy I met you and I like getting to know you, but maybe I should see what’s out there. God, Ethan, everyone is telling me different things!” He held his head, feeling more confused than ever. “Then my dad and I are always fighting, fuck, everything’s all fucked up!” he ranted. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

Sean was breathing hard, trying to collect his thoughts. “I think this break will do us some good. I need some time to think. When I get back, we’ll see what happens…”

“You’re breaking up with me?” Ethan demanded. “After I poured my feelings out to you before you left? What the fuck, Sean? You don’t even care about me at all!”

“Ethan, no…”

“Admit it, Sean! You’re just a spoiled little shit that gets whatever he wants. You were fucking with my feelings, pretending to be interested in me, you little bitch.”

Sean inhaled sharply. He was stunned.

“You probably wanted to get away from me. I bet you and your father planned this,” Ethan went on outraged. “That whole bullshit about wanting to get back together when you come home is a fucking lie, isn’t it?” he mocked. Ethan’s angry breaths filled Sean’s ear.

An icy feeling crept up Sean’s spine.

“You can’t treat people like this, Sean. You can’t play with people’s feelings and expect everything to be alright,” Ethan said in a calm voice.

Sean wanted to hang up and pretend that he had never made this phone call in the first place.

“There are consequences for your actions, Sean. That’s something you’re going to have to learn in life,” Ethan went on, a slightly carefree tone in his voice. “Just like everyone else,” he enunciated.

Sean gripped the blankets, marveling at Ethan’s mood swings.

“You can’t do this to me, Sean. You can’t just stomp over my heart. You’re just like everyone else in my life. My parents, my exes. You never cared for me and all you ever tried to do was hurt me. And like everyone else, you fucking succeeded!” Ethan shouted hysterically.

There was silence except for Ethan’s ragged breaths. Sean’s heart was pounding so hard it hurt his chest. He covered his mouth, afraid he might start crying out.

“Guess what, Sean?” Ethan snarled, making Sean jump.

Sean waited, holding his breath.

“Just like everyone else, you won’t get away with it,” Ethan whispered gleefully. “I’ll make sure of that.”

“Ethan, I’m sorry…”

“It’s too late for sorry,” Ethan cut him off. “Apologies don’t work for me. I’ve found that when people say sorry, they don’t mean it. They just keep on hurting people. It’s just a stupid meaningless word to them. You’re one of those people, Sean.”

“Ethan, I swear I’m not. I don’t want to hurt you. I just think this is too fast for me. My life is really crazy right now,” Sean tried again.

“You won’t get away with this, Sean,” Ethan repeated. “I won’t let you. I don’t like to be hurt.”

“Please, Ethan.”

“You’ll be sorry, Sean.” Ethan hung up.

The click was final.

Sean wiped his brow. His fingertips came back damp. He had been sweating throughout the entire conversation.

Sean felt relieved and scared at the same time. He felt he had made the right decision, but wasn’t sure if he’d end up regretting it. He hoped it would blow over. Only time would tell.

Thanks to Frances for editing! And a special thanks to Pete and Mike for beta-reading and giving me feedback and encouragement.